The ultimate guide for thoughtful gifts

0:20This is Stylish, the podcast for all things fashion, brand, business, and beauty. My name is Madison Sullivan-Thaw. My co-hosts, as always, are Anika Joshi-Smith and Joanna Fleming. Back again. Here we are. Happy Wednesday. Happy Wednesday. Jo, we have been waiting with our breath held because you got lip blushing the other week. I did. Tell us all about that. I like to be the guinea pig of trialling things. I like you to be the guinea pig as well, selfishly. Yes. So I had lip blushing, which in other words, I had my lips tattooed, which I'd been considering doing for ages. And then obviously preparing for my wedding, I was like, well, my lip products always wear off really quickly.

1:04And my lips underneath, like in the center, they're quite pink, but they're on the outskirts. They lose a lot of their pigment and they just kind of look really dull. And I feel like that can bring my complexion down a little bit. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to do it. I was really nervous about it Because I was like, what if I hate them? I've literally got my first tattoo when it's on my face. Oh, I was a prominent position. That was going to be my first question was, do you like have a secret little stamp that you haven't told us about? No, I don't have any other tattoos. So this was a first for me.

1:30Bad gal. Look at her go. She's tatted up. Honestly, I really wasn't sure what to think about it. It was painful and I was numbed. Okay. So a lot of people DM'd me after I posted about my treatment saying like, did it really hurt? And I was like, I'm going to be honest with you. it did fucking hurt. Okay. Scale of one to ten, what are we talking about? Okay. So in the big scheme of like other treatments I've had, I would say it's probably a seven to eight. Oh, shit. Yeah. I'd say clear and brilliant is really up there. I find that quite bitey. Okay. But some other people might find that okay and might find something like skin needling more painful.

2:04So it really is just like your personal pain threshold. I would say I have quite a high pain threshold. Okay. I can tolerate quite a bit on my face. I have the mentality of beauty is pain. but I found this quite uncomfortable. So, and it's a pretty long process. So the whole process for me took, I think it was two and a half hours I was there. Okay. So I went to Figment Tattoo in Hawthorne. So Fiona is a dermal clinician and then she has the tattoo business. And so she is just so good at her job. Like she precisely mapped it out. She made sure I was really happy with the shape and the color. And she basically took one look at my lips and was like, yeah, we're going to do these two colours together.

2:44You cool with that? I'm like, sure. Whatever you say. Amazing. I've heard very good things about her, like best in the biz kind of thing. She's fantastic. Yeah. So she did my lips. It was a bit painful. I actually thought the downtime was going to be way worse. I thought I was going to be swollen for like 24 hours, pretty much swollen for maybe a few hours afterwards. And then I was all good. Didn't need to take any kind of like pain medication or anything like that. but they were only really dry maybe for two days. No flaking, nothing like that, really tolerable. One day in a bad air con office, I know I've got two days of dry lips.

3:19Well, yeah, I'm normally quite a dry-lipped person because I'm always dehydrated. Yeah, okay. You should work on that. I know, I should. It comes from the tap. Yeah, but also like I just feel the lip blushing has really unified my complexion. Yeah. You look great. It's not having to do your lips all the time, And even when I'm not wearing makeup, I feel like the color in my lips takes away the purpley tones from under my eyes. Yes. And it makes me look more refreshed and like well slept or something. I can't quite describe it, but there's just something about having your lips done. Yeah. Yeah.

3:55And it's not that they look too done, but they are a bit darker, obviously, than my natural lip color would be on the border. But I feel that it's really closely reflected my lip shade in the center of my lips. And it's just defined the border of my lips. Yeah, because one thing that I find and the reason that I'm so intrigued and wanted to ask this on Mike, because I imagine a lot of people are as well, is that I feel like particularly in the cooler months, my lips almost go like purple. Yeah, same. It's like I look really one-dimensional and so I find myself, you know, I was joking the other week that I don't leave the house without mascara, but I really don't because I'm trying to distract for the fact that, like, I'm not putting a lip liner on to walk the dog at quarter past six.

4:31Exactly, yeah. I mean, I'm putting on mascara. I don't know what would be so bad about chucking on a little Charlotte Tilbury pillow talk, But yeah, I'm like keen to do it, but you've really scared me with the eight, given your pain threshold. Oh, I reckon you'd be able to do it. Maybe you could come and hold my hand. Yeah, I can do that. You've got numbing on. I just change lip liners all the time. See, the thing that I wanted to go with was my natural lip color, because I can still put a lip liner over the top and change the color of my lips. But it's the fact that I have like a more defined natural lip color when I don't have anything on my lips.

5:04And it's still fading. I'm only like a couple of weeks down the track. So there's still time for them to settle a bit more and the colour to settle in. So it probably will be even less obvious than they are now. Yeah. But I really am into this treatment. Love it. Yeah. No regrets whatsoever at this stage. I have a touch-up appointment in September. Yeah. And then I'm good to go. So they should stay pretty good for like one to two years. And then you have another touch-up. Brilliant. Oh, I love it. So if anyone's been thinking about lip blushing, that's my review so far. Yeah, love it. Well, we're almost getting two swaps from you today.

5:37Yeah, you are actually. Thank you, Jojo. What's on today's app? Okay, on today's app, we're doing something a little bit different and it's been sparked by a listener's dilemma about birthday presents. So we're going to jump into that opinions, please, first. Off the back of that, we're going to do some high, low present recommendations, including some ideas that are practically free. But first, what are we swapping in this week? Annika, do you want to start us off as usual? I sure do. I am a Westman Atelier truffle contour stick, like girly. Like that is my ride or die product. So doing my lips, my brows, and then the contour stick is something that I just like live by.

6:15Yeah. And I think I have found a more affordable option that kind of gives the same vibe, the same like really nice kind of chiseled contour look for a much cheaper fraction of the price. It is the Tenille J. It's like a creaming bronzer. Is this the bronzor? Bronzor. Yeah. Bronzor. Sorry, everybody. Yes. I got it in the shade Mocha, which is a really beautiful tan. And it's like buildable. It's super creamy. Yeah. I always see on my For You page the Chanel cream bronzer. Yes. I was going to say it's in the same package. Yes. The Chanel love. And people talk about that being like obviously world class.

6:50It's what you would expect from Chanel. But this apparently is quite dupeable. So I highly rate it. How much is it? It was about$50, I believe. Okay. How much is the Western Italia? Do you know, Mads? I've got the job you have. $120? The Westman? No. No? Westman bronzer. The contour stick? I'm going to debate you live on air here. Okay, please do. I have everything Westman, like I do. $84. Okay,$84. It's still cheaper. $34, thank you. 100%. There we go. Not$120, though. I want some justice for Gucci Westman as well. But honestly, I just love this product. It's buildable. It's super blendable. So it's just really beautiful with any type of brush I've found.

7:28and I just love how you can kind of put it with makeup on top underneath or even just like on a fresh face, kind of like moisturised base as well. Well, Tenille's known for the latte makeup. Like that is her signature look. She's actually done my makeup before. Has she? Yes, and it was like my favourite makeup that I've ever had. I bet it was because it was in your palette. And my hinge profile had that photo of that makeup on there. That's what got it. So maybe I need Tenille to give me a little latte makeup and we'll get the hinge profile back up and going. She did my head shots just because we can always ask, Taniel, if you're listening.

8:02Jo, what's your swap? So I actually thought I'd do a little bit of a different one today because I feel like age representation is really, really important. We see a lot of creators in their 20s and 30s, but it is actually kind of a struggle to find creators in their 50s. And I think that's really important for women that are looking for creators that they can see themselves in and have similar life stages, you know, they might have similar incomes, they might have a similar style. That's really important. You know, I love following people that are younger than me, but I don't necessarily relate to them.

8:34So I think that's really important. So I wanted to call out a few creators in their 50s. I just love what they're doing and I follow them and I just, I love watching them. So one of them is Nikki from Styling You on Instagram. She creates really helpful fashion and styling content, as does Alexandra E. Style on Instagram as well. Love her. I just love her. No, I love her so much. We went to the tennis together for an event and we were in the same car and I had the time of my life. She's so chic. So chic. So chic. She's also someone you'd want to go and get a champagne with. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. So that always helps.

9:08Yes. The next one is Debbie J. Edwards on TikTok. She does daily vlogs. So she lives with most of her adult daughters. I actually know her daughter Maddie. Yeah. Who has a new baby and the baby's living in the house as well as her fiancé. And so it's really like this multi-generational living. And I love watching their vlogs. The whole family do vlogs. And I just love Debbie's vlogs. So she's another one that I really like following on TikTok. And the last one is Amanda Ramsey Makeup on Instagram. So I used to work with Amanda quite closely when I was at Adore Beauty. And she specifically does courses or masterclasses for women over 40 that are trying to wrap their heads around all of the products that are out there these days, how to do their makeup now that their skin looks a little bit different to what it did in their 20s.

9:5120s or 30s. And she's just a really like lovely person to follow. She's just full of like energy and she's very vibrant and relatable. And yeah, she just does great work. So I thought I'd call out those lovely women for the things that they're doing online. I respect it highly from you, Jojo. I feel like it's so nice. Obviously, we're surrounded by women that are similar age to us and even a lot younger. But I feel like sometimes you don't resonate with a lot of that content. And I like things to look forward to and aspirational content that's like very much, you know, our vibe. I'm going to follow all of the above.

10:22Yeah, I think it's fantastic. And what I love, you know, Alex also speaks a lot about how she started in the first place. She was like going through a divorce and just kind of trying to refine herself and her style. And I'm like, I love that she's built this like epic community out of it. And as you said, like so chic, I think like so beautiful, Jo. Love that. Yeah. Probably one of my favorite of yours ever. Oh, thanks. That and the K-Tanger. Can you believe it beats the cleaning works? Sorry. What's your swap, Mads? So do you guys get your eyebrows done? No, I do, Mads. No, I'm so lazy. So I have a lot of eyebrow.

10:58There's a lot going on in that region. And I used to get them waxed religiously because, you know, like I'm fine for them to be a bit fluffy, but like growing in the hairlines, like not really what I'm after. Yeah. Anyway, the last time I had them waxed was in 2016 and someone did an, who shall remain unnamed, did an absolute number on me and I walked out looking like a 90s supermodel. And as you can imagine, really, aside from the fact they look god-awful, was the fact that it just really fucking hurt because it's a lot of hair to have to have taken off. But also 2016 was really the thick, like, I was like, girl, this is my time.

11:33Yeah. It was my time to shine. Cara Delvaine, look out. I was like, I just had as much as her. But I recently was a brave girl and was like, okay, I'm going to go get them done. because like they were just feeling unhidy and I didn't feel like I could upkeep. I went to a Melbourne girl called Ruby Katz. She is amazing. So I was like, okay, like I don't know how much a brow wax costs. I don't say that because like, you know, I'm like when Bill Gates went on Ellen and was like, I don't know, like a dollar for milk. And everyone was like, Bill doesn't know. I just like haven't had them done in nine years.

12:07So I didn't know what to expect. Anyway, it was like I think I paid$60 or$65. and when I went, I was there for like maybe 45 minutes. She face traced like the entire brow and I'm talking like I looked like I was out of a science book. It was amazing the science behind it all. She basically drew for me what the brow was going to be, staying entirely with the hairline. Like I walked out and I was like, it just looks ever so slightly fresher. Yeah. And I was like, that's exactly what it should be. She's like, I don't want to like go against hair area. Like, I don't want you to have to fill in anywhere.

12:42Like you shouldn't be. She was like telling me how to fluff them up. Anyway, she was just unreal. I know that's really unhelpful if you're not in Melbourne, but I guess my point is just going to a brow specialist and not just like blowjo who's going to like... Did you like those sound effects? I loved that. That was stunning in my ears. If you're in Melbourne, I cannot recommend her enough. It's probably the best money I've spent on a beauty treatment in a really long time. They look great. So sweet. emailed me a week later just to be like, how are your brows going? Are you happy with them? Was also just like not one of those people where it's like, no, you need to come back every four weeks.

13:15She was like, look, you could probably do every 10, every 12, 14 if you're busy. I know you're busy. Like, because I'd complained about how much shit I had on for the entire 45 minutes. No, I did ask Ruby questions as well. But yeah, I'm like, can't recommend it enough. I might have to go and do that. Yeah. I think she's great. Maybe we'll go on an excursion. We should. Just go on a group day. I'm a bit scared to do it before my wedding, but if you trust her, then I'm going to trust her. I went before New York and I was ready to meet Jacob Elordi. So I reckon we can go. Probably more important than my wedding.

13:44Yep. No, no. Definitely not. I'm looking for my Adrian, John. I'm trying.

14:00Okay. Okay, next up, as Jo mentioned at the header of the ep, we are doing opinions, please. A little different to our usual style today. But we had this question come through and I know that even when we do Q &As, I've spoken a lot off mic about these questions coming through. But we had a listener write in asking for some advice. This is a lovely listener, Nadia, all the way from London. Yay, love knowing that we're Mr. Worldwide. Hi, Jo, Mads and Annika. I have a dilemma. A couple of weeks ago, one of my best friends turned 30 and I completely forgot about her birthday. At the final minute, I ordered a gift online directly to her house, a business book I thought she might find interesting.

14:42My friend called me out on this and she said it made her feel like our friendship didn't matter much to her because I didn't get her something lasting and sentimental, particularly because the book wasn't gift wrapped and had no label on who it was from. To make matters worse, she already owns the book. Some of our other closest friends delivered her home-baked cakes, but the rest didn't get her anything. I guess I've now realised that as her closest friend in the group, I should have been the one to arrange a group birthday gift. She's been giving me a bit of the cold shoulder since the conversation, and I do understand.

15:16I know people expect something extra special for 30th presents. She was the first in our group to turned 30 this year and there are six of us. So I'm finding the money conversation a bit awkward when it comes to spending expectations. Naturally, at this age, we've all got different spending priorities, but I really do think we owe it to her to pull together as a group and do something a bit more thoughtful. This will probably set the standard going forward for what we spend. So what do you think is fair for each of us to put in to buy a nice 30th present? Something better than my book anyway. I'd love to hear what you think.

15:49And I'd love some records from you girls on 30th Presence that are sentimental and special. Love, Nadia. Ouch. There's nothing worse than when you offend a friend because it just never comes from a place of intention to start with. So like, you know, Nadia, I think like, you know, that, you know, maybe you've missed the mark and like you tried to rectify it given it was last minute, but I know it feels like shit. Yeah. Also, I think we have to touch on the fact that it was less about what she spent on the gift and more about the lack of thought that went into the gift. I know that probably in her mind, she was like, well, can I get her?

16:22I'll get her this. I think she'll be interested in it. But because it wasn't wrapped and there was no card and those kinds of things, if her love language is gifts, that's going to feel really impersonal, especially for like a milestone birthday. But I think when it comes down to how much you should be putting in, it's really an individual situation. Like as we spoke about on our loneliness episode, when you're in your late 20s, early 30s, you can be in vastly different places as a friendship group. Some of you might be on maternity leave. Some of you might be earning a lot of money and can afford to put$500 towards a present.

16:56I don't know any of my friends that want to put$500 towards a present. But if you're in a group of people where there's six of you, maybe one of you just organises the present and everyone puts in what they can afford. If you want to put in more and you're feeling more generous and you're in a position where you can put in 150 bucks and someone else is only in the position where they can do 50, at least you're combining that amount and no one feels shitty for what they've put in. Yeah. I totally agree. It's really interesting you brought this up though, because I had a friend's group 30th gift recently and one of her friends made a comment around how she thought it was unfair everyone's name went on the card with different amounts.

17:35And I'm so with you, Jo, I completely disagree with that because I have been in vastly different circumstances through different things. Like, as I've now mentioned on Inherited, I've had a divorce. Let me tell you, gals, not fucking cheap. So at that time, was that a time I could put$250 in for a milestone gift? Absolutely not. But I would hope that my friends understood my situation at that time the same way that vice versa as they're going through having babies or planning their weddings and paying for those things. We're like all just, you know, being really conscious of each other's situation.

18:08Totally. But it was very interesting hearing that hot take from someone. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. So I feel like also, Nadia, you are not the first person who's going to forget a milestone birthday and you won't be the last. Yeah. And I actually think this is probably one of the main reasons why I still have Facebook because you know how it like gives you a reminder of birthdays. So I can always like jot them down. Yeah. But I definitely agree with both of you. I think it's more so to do with the sentiment behind the gift. Like I probably would have, if I had forgotten, I probably would have taken a bait and been like, shit.

18:38And then actually given a belated gift and let her know that there was something still coming that had a bit more sentimental value. Because I don't know if it's maybe as I'm getting older, but something I genuinely treasure so much is like a written card. And if it's handwritten, even better. Like I have got stacks, you guys, of cards. I just keep them for keepsakes. And I love that box. And I love going through it. And just those words mean so much to me. And I think that means more than any gift probably ever could because it's the thought that goes into the words, the story, the little tidbit of something, a fun time.

19:11And as you get older, you see those stories change and evolve and it's all quite funny and really special to your friendships. So I feel like you could have found a way to maybe have done it in a little bit more of a meaningful way, I guess. But given it was very last minute, I feel like the options were limited. Like when you're under the pump and you're like, I have to deliver this today. And I haven't actually thought this through. I can't pre-order something that's personalised. Like that's a really tricky position to be in. But we are, we're correcting it. We're correcting it. We're on a correction course with Nadia and we're going to go through some gifting options.

19:45Well, I mean, I recently turned 30. Yes. And I had all of my friends put in to give me money. I know that sounds like really weird, but I love jewellery. It's probably one of few things, like materialistic things that it all has a meaning for me. Like every piece of jewellery I own has marked a milestone, whether that be, I'm laughing because one of them is a divorce. I did by myself. Divorce diamonds. Fucking get it, girls. I bought a watch when I got a bonus and, you know, like 18th and things like I have. It all marks milestones for me. And they knew that. So they decided together like that they would do that.

20:24And then my best friend, Christina, who would organise for that to be the gift, actually wrote a poem about me and diamond. Like, just like, you know, like, this is our girl, you're our diamond and so like go and treat yourself to something. Oh my God, I love that. Now, I'm not saying that this kind of money was enough to like go and buy some fuck off diamond. Please don't think my friends are like all sitting in their ivory castles. But it was enough for me to go and buy a piece of jewellery, which I'm still deliberating because I'm like, this may be one of the most important pieces of jewellery I ever get.

20:53Not because of the cost of it, but just because of that. I loved that. But then on the total other end of the scale, I had some friends give me their favourite photos of them with me in these beautiful silver frames. And I was like incredibly emotional about that. Yeah. Now they're like$60 photo frames. Like, so it's a beautiful photo frame, don't get me wrong. But like I'm saying it doesn't need to be a huge amount of money or a big group gift. I loved that. But there is also a really rogue idea that I know a friend had done for her 30th, that all of her friends put in for them to actually get like a family photographer to take photos of them as the friend group.

21:31I actually rate that. Like it wasn't like bad Levi jeans. It was like them in like the dog park with their dogs and like just the gals. And I'm like, what a great milestone birthday gift. That's amazing. So there's some of my ideas. I think it's just really around this like sentimental piece. It really has to mean something. and that, as you said, it doesn't have to mean that it's expensive. It just has to have some thought and like something kind of sentimental behind it. So I've got quite a few ideas, but on your like card situation, Adrian always makes me a card for like major things. So on my 30th, this is probably the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me, but on my 30th, we were driving down to the Mornington Peninsula and he like handed me his phone and played this like 20 minute video of all of my friends and family and like personalized messages to me.

22:22I feel like I'm going to cry talking about it. Oh my God. And so he asked one of my girlfriends to like help him put it together because at that time he didn't really know how to edit a video together. He's trained now. Yeah, he's trained now. But it was so personal and like he had reached out to all of these people separately who at that time he hadn't really known for that long. And it was the most thoughtful thing like someone has ever done. We are all welling up together. It's actually very I'm really glad you're marrying this man. Same. I'm scared someone's going to get the altar to take him because he's so fucking perfect.

22:57Yeah, and not only that, but he does the card as well. So he always writes me a really beautiful card. Honestly, I would take that over any gift any day. It's that because gift giving is not really my love language. Like I just don't really care for it. I'm an acts of service person. Like if he wants to empty the dishwasher, I'm probably happier with that. but it just really is around those really thoughtful things that people do and on one of my friend's birthdays it wasn't a milestone birthday but it was during COVID and I think at that time birthdays were just really like it felt really important to have people celebrate you because you couldn't go out and celebrate it yeah so one of my friends had a birthday and I had prepared this quiz that we did on Zoom together and it was a quiz all about her I love that and it was so much fun I remember we were just pissing ourselves because we've all known each other since high school.