The wedding series: Our biggest wedding regrets

0:07This episode of Stylish is brought to you by the new Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation. The original bridal base now reformulated so it's more breathable, more buildable and available in more shades.

0:24Welcome back to the wedding series by Stylish. This is a three-part series all about, guys, it's very obvious. It's about wedding culture. I'm Rhiannon Joyce. And I'm Jo Fleming. And we have a very special guest on today's episode. Someone who actually got married in 2025 and has lots of great learnings to share. Podcaster and writer Jasmine Wallace. Welcome, Jasmine. Thank you for having me. It's so nice. How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. Excited to reflect on something that happened, yeah, about four months ago. Okay, fresh. So you're like Jo, very fresh. I think we were only a couple of weeks apart.

0:56Yeah, I was the 8th of November. Yes, and I was the 29th. And I remember us chatting about our weddings maybe like 10 months before or 11 months maybe. Yes, at a dinner party. I was like, Jo, I'm getting married. Like what should I do with my skin? And I was literally like writing down on an afternoon at this like dinner party. Poor Jo. I don't think she's come across anyone who hasn't interrogated her about what is my skin routine. Judge my face right now and tell me everything I need in this dim lighting of this like dinner party. Yeah, it was a little hard to do an analysis, but I was at an event the other night and a male photographer was shooting the event and he came up to me and he goes, I'm getting married in six weeks.

1:31What do I need to do for my skin? Too late, babe. Yeah. We all know three months. More than that, doll. Okay, okay. Let's not jump ahead too far because Joe can get some rags later in the app. But for those of you who don't know, this is actually our second wedding series. So Joe and I had three episodes in our previous season that actually ran, oh god almost over a year ago yeah which is crazy got married yet no it was pre-wedding so this is all post-wedding chart which is really timely and exciting because now that we've had our weddings which we did go into quite a bit of detail in the first episode so if you haven't listened to that go back and listen there are inevitably a few things that you regret post-wedding and that's a very normal thing that people feel and experience you know post-wedding day regrets and I do want to call out and say a big thank you to all of the listeners who actually contributed to this segment because we will be pulling on some stats that you contributed to but also quite a few of our listeners actually shared some emotional DMs so we just want to acknowledge up top that it is really normal to have wedding day regrets it doesn't mean your day wasn't perfect it doesn't mean it wasn't incredibly special to you Joe and I shared a lot about what made our wedding day so special in the first episode but regrets are normal yeah and regrets can be kind of hard to talk about especially when there's so much like time and effort and also money tied to this regret as well but we're gonna get into that later first jess let's hear your elevator pitch tell us a little bit about your wedding day i got married like i said in november and we only had 47 guests so very intimate we got married in it was like garden wedding then we had a little historic like a heritage cottage in the middle of the city we looked at a few different venues in the city and we wanted to be in the city because people were flying from over from the UK.

3:21Just to clarify, this is Melbourne. This is Melbourne City, yeah, sorry. People were flying over from the UK, so then I thought, well, they're flying all the way here and then I'm going to make them travel to like the peninsula or something. So we're like, no, we'll do in Melbourne. Fell in love with this like heritage cottage, but the back garden is the backdrop, getting married under this beautiful big tree. And it was an evening wedding, so started at about five o 'clock. I wore Honeymoon the label, so I had like a kind of bodice and then it was like three parts my dress so like a long sleeve shirt underneath with like floral trimmings a bodice up top and a high-waisted skirt that was almost like a pencil skirt and my veil of course it had like flowers all through so it's very much like the garden aesthetic is what I was envisioning my partner wore um and his brother wore kilts because they're half scottish and that was like what my moon board was was just like very authentic to who we are as people I was so conscious of not getting caught up in like Instagram hype and TikTok hype and kind of monetizing our wedding or like creating too much content out of it I know I'm literally on a podcast now talking about it but I just really wanted to make sure it was authentic to us so I spent about two years planning what we did but obviously being the bride you have a few more mood boards than the groom.

4:40Not in Rhys' case. Not in my case. My husband was very involved. Yeah, I just wasn't one of those girls who'd always like dreamt of a wedding. When I did get engaged, I knew what I wanted it to be pretty quickly. Can I ask with your guest number? So you said 47 guests, which is quite a small wedding. Was that influenced by the wedding venue you chose or were you already aware of your guest list before you chose that venue because we spoke about in the last episode how the venue can really dictate the amount of guests you can have so was that an element for you it wasn't so much the venue but our budget okay so we knew we didn't want to spend crazy amounts of money on the wedding um we just have like other priorities at the moment and just the economy as it is and yeah we just felt it was like very precious to us and so we would love to have had more friends and like all Laurie's cousins and aunts and uncles like live in the UK like in an ideal world they would have come over and it would have been like a massive party but um no we purposely kept the guest list really small so that we were able to like spend on other things that we wanted like the really finer details that like made our day what it was yeah thinking like we had a bagpiper amazing who was like playing the guests in had a photographer Jessica Grilly of Sentient Studio who I had seen some other editors like in Melbourne use and who I really admired her style.

6:08So like booked the venue like 18 months in advance. But the good thing about the venue is there were lots of different areas we could utilise. So it kind of was up to us with the guest number. So that's the basics of the day. It was very, very special, very beautiful. And I think having the 47 people there as well just made it so, so intimate and it was just like looking around this room at the dinner, candlelit dinner and like seeing all of your best friends and like my partner and I we actually went through a long distance during COVID and like a lot of our friends and family were like there for us through those periods like supporting us and trying to like give us advice and stuff so it felt almost like a like a celebration of our whole community as well it's just so precious and like a full circle moment of like going through all of this kind of hardship to get where you are on your wedding day that's really special and international couples so partners parents he's from the UK and his parents came over brother etc so to have everyone in the one room and that's why we did a wedding in the first place because we were so close to just being like let's go to the courthouse and like have a really nice dinner and like that will be so special but like when do we ever have like our closest friends and family in the one room like with my grandparents still here so that was like a big motivator behind doing like the proper wedding so beautiful next we'll be getting into our regrets but that will be right after a word from today's sponsor when it's your wedding days some things are simply non-negotiable like comfy but fabulous shoes waterproof mascara and a beautiful foundation that controls oil and lasts all day long because honestly there's nothing worse than catching your reflection at the reception and wondering where your makeup went ask any bridal makeup artists worth their weight in gold and they'll tell you the same thing Estee Lauder's double wear foundation is the OG it's adored by women all over the world for its full of life long wear matte finish but in news that will delight upcoming brides and double wear fans, Estee Lauder has reformulated their iconic base so it's more breathable, more buildable and available in even more shades.

8:06Rest assured it has the same oil control and coverage as the original with an impressive 36-hour wear aka the perfect wedding day base. Whether you're planning your bridal makeup look, have another milestone event coming up or just love a full of life finish every day, meet Estee Lauder's reformulation of double wear foundation. With 67 shades to choose from visit your local Estee Lauder counter for a professional shade matching experience. Thank you so much to Estee Lauder for making this episode of Stylish possible. Okay, so with weddings come a lot of expectations and it's only natural to learn from a lot of these experiences.

8:42So let's start with our regrets. Jaz, I want to start with you. I know that one of your regrets was not having a wet weather contingency plan, which I also did not really have so I can relate to that. Can you tell us how that played out on the day and what you would do differently if you had your time again? So we chose to get married in spring. It was actually late spring in November obviously so I was like even though we're in Melbourne I lived here for so long know the weather I was like it's gonna be sunny it's gonna be 23 degrees. Literally Jo. Seriously like you just assume. It's like you enter a state of delusion.

9:15100 % I was being so delusional and so naive and I guess that's what I regret right so we actually had planned to have this ceremony outside in the gardens everyone would have a seat cocktail hour outside sunset vibes and then the reception was going to be outside on the front like a long Italian style like tables and as the week's getting closer I was like not I was like don't even talk to me about the weather like it's fine it's fine it's gonna clear and the day before the Friday morning we looked at the weather and I was like nah we've got to call it and honestly I woke up that morning and just burst into tears and like that night was our rehearsal dinner and I knew we had a backup plan for the reception so when we toured the venue 18 months earlier the manager like showed us around and we went upstairs to this like room and she's like and this is the wet weather plan like if it rains on the day like we can move everything up here it'll be a beautiful blah blah and I literally remember being like yeah yeah yeah totally like everyone does that everyone goes yeah yeah i'm not manifesting that like not my problem i was like oh it's still a beautiful backup and that played in my head that friday morning when i was like oh my gosh and it wasn't just raining it was also going to be cold yeah so turns out on the saturday it was the coldest melbourne november day in 80 years guys i remember this day i remember because i was watching the weather so closely because of my own wedding.

10:41I was, as I said on our last episode, I was on AccuWeather every day and I remember that day and I thought, oh my God, I feel so deeply for the brides today that are getting married. And that was you. And I was, I was sending you like positive vibes as much as I could. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I couldn't really believe it. Like we didn't know until the next day that it was the coldest day, but I was like, we had elderly people there. Like they're not going to want to sit outside I really like grieved that reception right like on the Friday and my partner was so great it's actually a really special moment well I had a feeling that he might be like it's going to be beautiful like don't even worry but he really like made me feel like I wasn't being silly for being so upset about it because he knew like how long we'd planned this we had a longer engagement it was about two years we didn't have a wedding planner as well like it was really myself and my mom and just mood boarding and talking to vendors and everything like outside of work for two whole years so that was hard moment but also special for our like going into our marriage I felt really supported by him so I cried like I don't know maybe three hours like just and he just let me and then I was like okay we gotta like get on with this so spoke to the venue spoke to my mom and we're like we're gonna move the reception the dinner inside I had the rehearsal dinner at Old Palm Liquor which was really beautiful one of the best restaurants in Melbourne, for those of you who don't know, it's in Brunswick East.

12:02It is such a great spot. And really great for like group events as well. And like the menu and stuff was amazing. And that was really intimate too. So it was our parents, siblings, grandparents, aunt, uncle. So that kind of like got us into the mood and I got out of like that headspace. But one way that I like consoled myself about losing, you know, changing the reception from the rain was that I'll still have my ceremony. I'll still get my ceremony outside because the ceremony is only half an hour saturday morning rolls around i still am like nope it's fine it's fine it's gonna clear it's gonna clear driving back to the hotel and it was not clearing makeup artists arrived photographers are arriving still not clearing my mom she actually made our wedding cake she was amazing she like did so much she so she dropped the cake off at the venue and she calls me i'm getting my like foundation painted on right yeah she calls me and she's like jazz i need to tell you something i'm at the venue and the ground is squelching like this where the ceremony is like people were viewing it for their weddings in the future she's like they're like falling through it's too like we're gonna have to move the ceremony inside this is three hours before I walked down the aisle so we said okay we're gonna have to move it inside my mom when she was on the phone to me she's like we can do it downstairs in this in the heritage house it's so beautiful like you can get married behind the door and all your guests will be like standing and it's gonna be a couple seats and I remember saying over the phone oh great so I'm getting married in a hallway oh but you know what that's so fair enough in the moment to have a visceral reaction like that everyone would have that feeling it was just crazy like having this vision in your head for so long and then three hours before it's going to be totally different yeah it's ripped away from you the vision that you've had for 18 months and it is a bit hard to come to terms with that especially when you haven't let yourself even think about what that alternative looks like.

13:50And so my mum comes back to the hotel and she like got, we had like wine at the hotel room. She had like a brown paper bag. She was like drawing sketches of like, okay, you'll be standing here and then we'll have the seats here and everything. I obviously had a few tears because I was just like, I can't believe this. Like that's one of my regrets, I guess. Like being so delusionally optimistic. Like I'm an optimistic person. I'm definitely a glass half full. I'm definitely like a woo-woo manifesto girl. I didn't get the Etsy witch. Maybe that would have changed her. because I was so like I was just so like no this is not my reality yeah and it was and my sister and my mom they were just like they validated me they're like you're allowed to be upset but at the end of the day like everyone's here for you guys and like you're here to marry your partner and it wasn't until I walked down the aisle and I saw Laurie that I was like nothing else matters yeah yeah like and I knew I'd feel better when I saw him.

14:42Rhi you also kind of got rained out a little bit on your wedding day, but it wasn't raining during your actual ceremony, was it? No. So it was top and tail. The morning of sideways, bucketing down. I remember looking up through the skylight when I was getting my makeup done. I was like, it's a lot of rain. And my mom had text me. I was delusional. I was delulu girl as well. To be fair, I was very lucky in the sense that it didn't actually rain out my ceremony. I also had done an amalgamation on chat GPT of all the weather wraps to work out time but time stamp when the rain was coming and stopping we had an early ceremony so our ceremony was actually at 2 30.

15:21I was probably one of the only brides in existence to arrive early to their ceremony because I was adamant that we were going to have this 45 minutes of sunshine I was like I absolutely need this for the ceremony so I was there waiting and like you can't come up like they're radioing the venue and they're like she can't come up they're not seated and I was like well get them fucking seated. I was also really lucky where 40 minutes out of the venue my hairdresser who was a guest at our wedding Brooke had obviously left me in the morning and gone to the venue and she'd sent me a photo and it was blue skies so that also validated me and made me feel comfortable in the moment knowing okay I'm not being rained out but I know bless Louis was the main point of contact with the venue facilitating whether or not we were reverting to the weather plan.

16:09They actually did move everything in and then they moved it back out. Such a close call. I had no idea though. So he managed all of this, was very much about protecting my peace. Truth be told, I would have been sad had it not been outside. The ceremony was absolutely beautiful. It was in a stunning archway, gorgeous vines. We got married in autumn winter timing. So it was all lots of reds, lots of greens very ethereal garden vibes and our florals were designed to enhance that backdrop and was very much about embracing that environment the other location which was the wet weather plan which again same as you guys it was still beautiful but it was not what I envisioned and it wasn't what Louis envisioned and I'm not going to sit here and say that I wouldn't have cared I absolutely would have cared and I think that's really important to acknowledge that and be honest yeah 100 % one of my friends I weeks later I was still like posting my close friend's story like be not beating myself of thought but being like why am I so upset about this like the photos we got back they were beautiful like everyone had the best time we had people saying like it was the best wedding they've ever been to and I felt like every now and then I'd still be like why am I so sad about this and one of my close friends Claire was like you're allowed to make a big deal out of things that feel big to you yeah and I was like that really made me feel better because I was like yeah of course it's a big deal to me like it was our wedding day it was something that we like creatively and financially put so much into so you're allowed to like I think two things can be true at once and that's what I was really that's what I was really holding on to I started feeling a bit silly I was like because people would say like well you got married like that's like the most important thing which is so true yeah it's all about like if yeah your friends and family were there everyone was happy healthy like which is so true but yeah I also was like it wasn't what I pictured and that's so fine Jo, you actually had really good weather.

17:58I ended up having really good weather. But again, top and tail. So it was torrential raining the night before and drizzling the morning of. And then that night of the wedding, my whole wedding was outside. So my ceremony and my reception all outside. And you had no marquee? No. See, we had a marquee. So by that point, I was like... Yeah. So it didn't rain at the time of my ceremony, but it was pretty much like as soon as people left, it came bucketing down again. Like so heavy, you couldn't hear inside the venue. It was that torrential. But thankfully, we got clear weather for our ceremony and our reception.

18:30It was a little bit fresh, though. Like it was it started to get a bit cold, but we had gas heaters. So I didn't have any kind of regrets around the weather. I'm glad that I hired the Etsy witch, even if that is a little bit woo woo. But one of my regrets from the day was not kind of managing my time a little bit better. And I think that caused me a lot of stress. I mentioned in the last episode how I felt like I got really worked up right before the ceremony. And that was because I was actually running a bit late. so I should have probably gotten my hair and makeup done a little bit earlier I decided to go last because I was like everyone else like my mother-in-law and my mom and my sister-in-laws and I probably should have gone maybe second last so that I had a little bit more time to just chill because my hairdresser left and we couldn't get my veil in so like I and this is a piece of advice I want to give to people is either have your hairdresser put it in while they're still there or allow additional time to put it in because it is actually very stressful and we could not figure it out.

19:25And I had my hair like slicked to my head. So any movement of pins was potentially going to pull bits of my hair out. So it was like this really careful operation to get the veil in. And that took probably 20 minutes. I had not allowed for that time. And so I missed all of this portion of time to have portraits with my family and my close friends. Adrian has a whole folder basically of photos of him and his family, just him and his immediate family and his good friends that came to the venue beforehand. And I've got maybe eight photos. He's got like 40. Right. So I feel like that's one of my regrets is that I missed out on having those portraits taken that I really wanted.

20:05But I've got so many other beautiful photos. I'm just happy to kind of let that go. But I probably would have loved to have more photos with my parents and my friends. It's definitely the lesser of two evils. I had a lot of issues with the veil as well. And I want to be really self-aware about the fact that my parents actually bought my veil for me as a gift and it was absolutely beautiful and I think it definitely added to my overall look and I loved it I do sorry mom apologizing in advance I wish I just took it out because it was that was the only point in the morning I was so chill very relaxed I had an open door policy in our room it was like people coming in I had other girls getting their makeup done who were staying at the hotel like I wanted to be around people.

20:43I'm an extrovert. I really thrive around others. When it came to the veil, bless Nat, one of my photographers, she was literally, there's photos of her putting, trying to put it in. My photographer put mine in. Literally. Her veil ended up putting my veil in because like there was four people trying to put it in, couldn't work it out. Definitely not their first rodeo as well. The veil seems to be the common denominator here, but I had grief with it and I honestly wish I took it out because it was the only time I felt tension and stress. I wish I just made an executive call to be like, done. And then after the ceremony, just ripped it out.

21:15The veil was just too important for me to ditch it. And I get it. The photos, Jo, of your veil draped over, like absolutely gorgeous. It was important to the vibe. It was. Like it had to be over my face walking down the aisle. It just, it was the vibe. Yeah. Jo, I want to come back to your point earlier about not having enough time for portraits because that felt like something that was a bit of a regret for you. Yeah. And Jaz, you also had the same regret as me as well, didn't you? Yeah, I was really resonating with what you're saying there. My photographer, amazing, incredible. And it was totally my decision, right?

21:50When we're getting married, the whole like first look thing is really popular. And it makes so much sense in a schedule to do a first look to get photos done then. And then it's like, you can just forget about it. When I was thinking about the wedding, I thought, no, like him seeing me for the first time at the aisle, like that's what I want. Agree. So I wasn't going to like negotiate on that for photos. Also our venue, we wanted to do what you did and get married earlier and then have a reception later. But at the venue in Melbourne, like so popular. True. There's just so many people in the city that you'd have to pay for like a day wedding and an evening wedding.

22:21So like essentially doubling the price of the venue to get married at like two o 'clock. So we had to go with guest ride 4.30, ceremony five. That was half an hour inside the Heritage Cottage, as we've discussed. And then cocktail hour for an hour. And then it was going to be half an hour for portraits. but I didn't know like if you don't know you don't know because I thought that I'd after the ceremony to be so excited and just like cool let's go get photos now like see you later but we went to the bridal suite with like our parents and our siblings and had this really special intimate moment of like cheersing with them and just having that family time and I just felt like tired I think it was the build-up of the weather thing and everything so I um remember being like I just want a moment with Laurie and my sister to just like chill.

23:04And I think I took a little bit too long to like chill. It was probably only like 10 minutes over. But then I was like, oh no, we need to get portraits. And then also when we went out, we went through the house and like all my girlfriends were there, which was lovely seeing them. Obviously everyone wants to congratulate you and stuff. So that was really special. I got, the photographer was there. So she was getting beautiful photos of that. We stand outside and it's raining still outside. We use the umbrellas, But because of the rain, it was like, right, like immediate family outside. Laurie and I were standing like against the door because there was like a tiny little frame, like a little roofing under it.

23:37And it was literally like, okay, parents in, sister in, like really fast. There was no variety of the portraits, which was just like, it was just timing. And in the moment I was like, I want to party. I want to hang out with my friends. Like I want to soak this moment up. I don't want to like have the photo. Like obviously I want the photos, but I don't want to spend too much time. Yeah. And Laurie and I went for a walk like through the garden and we got portraits. But then I remember feeling like we were late. I could see because we could see the venue from like the garden. So we're getting our photo shot and we could see people like sitting down for dinner.

24:09And I just remember feeling like, oh, I'm going to be late. And it was just it felt really rushed. Thankfully, our lovely photographer, when we had done like the first bit of the dinner and the speeches and we had like a moment of like chill. she saw us like chilling for a sec and she grabbed us and we went out to the balcony of the house and we got some more photos then and so I was really really grateful that she because I wouldn't have thought to have done it then yeah good initiative by her that's when you know they're good at their job our photographer did the same thing at sunset because they just saw this beautiful lighting they went around the venue they found the best lighting and they came and grabbed us in between courses and they're like you guys have to come and take these photos and we were a bit apprehensive right because you're like in the middle of the party and you're not wanting to leave but oh they are the best photos from the day and we had so much fun doing that because it was our first time kind of really properly alone once the night had already kicked off.

24:57Totally and I like getting yeah getting them in that in between when you know everyone's settled everyone's got a drink everyone's eating like those are some of my favorite photos as well. I just wish I had a few more. Maybe the solution would be if you're listening to this factoring in a bit of buffer time. Maybe even just half an hour for something even for you Jo from what you said it's like this seems to be like this 10 to 20 minute mark. Yes. Fill that in. Totally. Now next we're going to get into our audience poll results, but that will be right after a word from today's sponsor. If you're a 2026 bride, you're likely spending every waking moment searching and saving makeup looks.

25:29If that's the case, one product we'd recommend is the new Estee Lauder Double Wear Foundation. It's already the OG bridal base, praised for its full of life matte finish, oil control and 36 hour coverage. But now it's been reformulated so it's even more breathable, more buildable and available in more shades. With 67 shades to choose from, visit your local Estee Lauder counter for a professional shade matching experience and have your perfect foundation on standby for your big day. Thank you so much to Estee Lauder for making this episode of Stylish possible. Okay, so we surveyed our audience who are always very reliable when it comes to giving us insight.

26:06Love the contribution. So to kick us off, our survey revealed that 69 % of you have regrets about your wedding. Is this more or less than we expected? I think it's, oh God, I'm going to say it's slightly more. I thought it would have been around 50%. I thought it was going to be like 80. Oh, okay. Why? Oh, because I just think you can nitpick little things from the day. Like everyone has got one little thing, even if it's not major. It's like one tiny little detail. Someone could think of a regret from the day. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Let's talk about what people actually regretted though.

26:38We gave our listeners 12 categories to choose from, but the most common was other at 33.1%. Jo, what was the next most common response category was? The second most common category our audience's regret centered around was guest lists. And that was followed by your chosen photographer at 8.9%, dress at 8.6 % and makeup and hair at 7.7%. I thought dress would have been higher. Photographer, what do you guys think about that? Do you think that's higher than what you thought? I think that's lower than what I thought. Because I think photos, like that's kind of what you have after, like you've got the memories, but physically, like you have the photo so yeah I think that is a common regret because if it's not what you thought or like the photographer's styles and what you wanted the guest list being the highest isn't a huge surprise for me I think back to our original wedding series and also the previous episode that we did guest list came up a lot I also think the reality of it is that is reflective of a certain time in your life and as much as you can try to nail it we had this really good method to the madness as I would put it or Cassie famously would put it in my team she always says that is past, present, future.

27:44They have to be in at least two of those camps. That's a good one. It is good, but it's not bulletproof. Like there's no foolproof way that you can guarantee every single person on your list will be in your life in the future already. We've got people that broken up with their partners. They were there. We might've been closer with one than the other. You know, we haven't had any falling outs, but that's a really normal thing that happens. You know, people can fall out with their bridesmaids. It's not uncommon. Yeah, I actually didn't have a bridal party. Not for that reason, because I was scared I was going to fall out with anyone.

28:14But I was just so cognizant of like dynamics and the pressure that weddings put on things. And that's why we had that intimate guest list too. Like obviously budget was number one. But I remember thinking like our litmus was family and friends who feel like family. There were so many beautiful friends that we have who we would have loved to have been there. But when we really like narrowed it down, narrowed it down, we were like, this is like our family essentially. So bridal parties, I also didn't have a bridal party. So you and I were on the same kind of mindset there, but that came through as a major regret for a lot of people was their selection of their bridal party.

28:52So we had a listener write in and say, bridal parties are one of the only times in your life where you're tasked with drawing a line with your friends. Separation of who's your bestest best and who doesn't quite make the cut. Even then my experience with the ones you do ask is that they then see further ranks, feeling lesser because they weren't asked for a speech or because they felt they got the least flattering cut of dress. I regret having a wedding party because it was just too much about politics and people pleasing. I would have rather had none and let everyone be equal. Can you talk me through the logic, both of you?

29:24Was that similar? Like you didn't want that tension around the logic between deciding not having a bridal party? Do you resonate with what this listener has said? I have a lot of childhood friends, but then really beautiful close friends from Melbourne. And I didn't want to like, I'm so lucky to have so many close friends. I didn't want to like rank them basically was one reason. Again, budget was another reason. Like that all adds up, like getting the dresses, getting their makeup done, like getting them gifts. So that was like an easy way to cut back. I did have my sister as my maid of honour.

29:55So like, and my partner had his brother as his best man. And we also thought that was great. We're really close with our siblings and family. it is not always but usually harder to like fall out with them or to have like those friendship things so we thought that was like pretty foolproof as well to have like family as the people sitting next to us that was also really important but I had beautiful friends who who stepped up and helped as if they were bridesmaids without needing the title and I knew I had girlfriends in my life who were like that and so I knew they didn't they didn't need the like glory or to be in the photos of like the bridal party they wanted to help me like my friend who went and got the umbrellas.

30:32Another friend who was like, when we changed the ceremony, they were like helping to organise the chairs and where people were standing and helping my mum and all those moments. What about you, Jo? I had my two like childhood best friends and my sister-in-law organise my hands for me and I didn't really have to ask them to do that. They would just put their hands up to do it. I think I had mentioned prior to getting engaged to my closest friends that I didn't have any intention to have a bridal party. It just wasn't something that I was interested in doing. like the day is about Adrian and I, it's not about other people.

31:03And as I've mentioned before, I'm an introverted extrovert. So I need my alone time and I just didn't want other people in my face to have alone time. I really wanted to just have a relaxing morning. I didn't want to have to be socializing. I just wanted to be alone and focusing on what I needed to do because that is how I keep myself calm. And so that was just the best way for me to do it. Even though our family is kind of milling around the venue, there were still people around me. It just wasn't that I had this obligation to engage with everybody. I was just able to do my own thing and not have to worry about what everyone else was doing.

31:36I think that's the thing with weddings. Like you really need to like make it what you want. Exactly. Not what you think you should do or you have the expectations because you're going to have the best day if it's like by your boundaries. And like when you get to this age, you know who you are. Like you knew that you want to arrive early and be organized and you wanted to be alone. When you have that like inner confidence and stuff, you can really stand clear in those like choices. Yeah. Rhi, you did have a bridal party. So talk us through, was that always something that you wanted to do? Did you ever consider not having one?

32:08I did. At one point I only wanted one friend to stand up there with me and then that evolved because Louis wanted a bridal party. At the end of the day, in a cis relationship, usually the female takes the responsibility of being the one who the wedding's about. That's just not true. There are things that, you know, a male partner can also value or want as much or maybe more. And it's about negotiating and also agreeing on things in a way where it feels both of you are contributing to your day. And for Lou, it was really important to have a bridal party. So I had a bridal party. Truth be told, they didn't do a lot.