You need to know these rules before your next dinner party

0:16This is Stylish, the podcast for all things fashion, brand, business and beauty. and today food. My name is Madison Sullivan-Thaw. My co-hosts, as always, are Joanna Fleming and Annika Joshi-Smear. Hello. Hi, guys. How are we? Good. I'm great. I actually was having this conversation at a wine bar recently because I was with her girlfriend whose hair looked sensational and she told me she's been doing heatless curls, which made me feel like very circa COVID of when everyone was doing that. Oh, I have a story about heatless curls. Yeah. So my friend Jess has notoriously had hard to manage hair and recently started doing the heatless curls.

0:52And I did not think she would ever be a heatless curls kind of person, but I recommended the air straight to her. And she's been using the air straight. And then while it's still warm, she wraps it in the heatless curls. Her hair has never looked better. We keep, every time we say, we're like, Jess, what the hell? You're like 33 and having the best hair of your whole life. Do you think that you could do it if you just had like a straightener or a heat tool or like a curling one that you could do it first and then like just have heat on the hair? I mean, you'd probably just want to dry it off with a hairdryer so your roots aren't completely wet.

1:21Yeah. And you could just use your dressing gown to do it. But her hair has grown so much. Absolutely I do, but I wouldn't want to take it off because I use it. Yeah. But it's grown so much because I think her problem was her hair was so heat damaged because she would always straighten it or style it in some way. Yeah. Right. And it's grown so much. It's honestly, all of us in the group are just gobsmacked and how good her hair looks. It makes me laugh though. Shout out to heatless girls. Yeah, it makes me laugh though because it's like quite a contraption. They can look. Yeah, it is. And then she very politely said to me at the table, well, respectfully, like, you've got no one to wake up next to.

1:53Now's the time. Like, this is the time for the heatless girls. And I was like. Feels like a backhanded compliment. Do you know what? Thank you. So fair. Yeah. So fair. I'm like, should be doing the mouth tape and the heatless girls now. Honestly, I don't think I can bring myself to do it though because I'm a tummy sleeper. So that's not going to work for me. Are you tiny people as well? Oh, look at us. Not many people are. Yeah, I love to cock a little leg up and get on my tongue. Oh, okay. Wow, we went there yet again. The end of this year, there's just going to be a highlight reel of all the times we've had a slip of the tongue.

2:26Yeah. Slip-free little dolphins. Okay, well, that was an unintentional swap. But Jo, what are you swapping in this week? Well, I've got to tell you what's on the episode for today first. Oh, sorry. I've got a head of my side. Anyway, on today's episode, we are doing a very special rules-based episode sharing eight dinner party rules worth following. And we know you've loved our previous episodes like this. We've done wedding rules, home styling rules, and what was the other one? Rules for extending the lifestyle, the life cycle of your clothing. Yeah. That was my favorite one, I think, because it involved heavy amounts of cleaning content.

3:01You really shone in that episode. Yeah. Thank you. So check those out if you haven't listened already, but we're going to dive into that in a second. Let's do our swap first. Who wants to volunteer? You go first. I never go first. Yeah, go on. Yeah. Okay. Well, mine today is actually kind of related to dinner parties, I suppose, because it's a styling or decor item that you could have. So I was on Instagram scrolling the other day and I came across the Instagram of this business. It's called Studio Alyssum. It is faux flowers or fake flowers. It's artificial flowers. They're made from silk. I believe most of them are made from silk.

3:38I don't know if they're all made from silk. They are the most realistic looking fake flowers I've ever seen in my life. Like they genuinely look amazing. I know when you think of fake flowers, you're thinking of the ones in like Bunnings or... The gerbras that like... Yeah, the$2 shop. Yeah, yeah. They are absolutely not like that. Like they basically emulate really cool trending flowers. Like hydrangeas and pinings and things? Yes. Yep. Okay, great. It's just they do the most stunning little arrangements as well. So it looks like a very modern kind of arrangement, flower arrangement. I'm assuming you would have to dust them quite frequently for them to stay looking as, you know, luscious as they do when they first arrive.

4:17I think you'd have to do a bit of zhuzhing every now and then. I mean, you are our cleaning expert. Yes, I would probably dust them. You'd thrive. Yes, I would. Yeah. But I just feel like sometimes I can't always be thinking about buying fresh flowers all the time. Yeah. I do like having that option of always having something in the house that is not a candle or a tray or some other kind of styling item. Something that brings color to the space. Yeah, beautiful. And something that you don't have to throw out once it dies. I think it's so nice as well because being in silk, like it will kind of like capture the light and like have like, you know, a little bit of mood behind it.

4:49You seriously have to look up. Like you would not believe that these are fake flowers. I thought it was a florist. And then I realized I read the bio of the Instagram page. I was like, wait, what? They're not real. People are using them for their weddings, which is a great idea. Yeah, great idea because then you also get to keep them and what a lovely keepsake. Yeah, I kind of regret not doing that for my wedding now. There's still time. Yeah, anyway. The deposit has been paid to the fresh florist. Whoops. Annika, what are you swapping in? Okay, so mine is all about sleep. I have gotten onto Akari Deep Sleep Tonic.

5:22And so this is actually by the founders of Age. And so it's all like a beautiful wellness space. And guys, this sleep tonic, I swear, is a game changer. Like I have gifted it to so many people. My mother-in-law, like I know she doesn't have the best night's sleep. You can either pop a few pumps into a glass of water or I actually just do it directly into my mouth. Yeah. You are out. $69 for 150 mils, but a little goes a long way. I really struggle with sleep. I know I've spoken about it before. Like I would spend anything to have a better night's sleep. So consider that one an add to cart. Yeah.

5:56I also did not know that the brand Ikari were by the founders of age. Yes, Adrian. That's a fun fact. Adrian Norris, yeah. Yeah, and apparently it's kind of like a space as well that he just really like loves and thrives and it's kind of really aligned with who he is as a person. So I really like that base. Very interesting as well. Yeah, their hand washing lotion also side nose. Oh my God, game changer. Actually another gift that I often put on, you know, when someone buys a new house or something. Yeah. Their hand balm and like even the beautiful, It's in like a really beautiful green glass.

6:27Yeah. Quite a statement on the counter. Yeah. It's a vessel. It's a vessel. Bathroom furniture, if you will. There we go. My swap is Morphe brushes. Oh, yes. So Morphe are having a bit of a rebrand at the moment, which I see you, Morphe. I see you. I went into Mecca. I needed a new foundation brush. The girls were super helpful. I bought one of the brushes. But the brush kits, they didn't have them in stock, but they were showing me some of the samples. Amazing. Like these brushes are so good, like really high quality brushes for what they are. I've always quite liked Morphe brushes. I have a couple of their old sets, their eye shadow brush sets, and they're great.

7:03They're also a really good gift if like you've got anyone who you just like want to get something cute for for their birthday. But they're really great. And I just thought if anyone needs a new brush set, it's your reminder to either clean them or go and buy some new ones. They're really good. I also just got a Morphe contour stick, which is really good as well. Their product development is quite good right now. I've never really dabbled much in the brand, but it's really nice. I did dabble in the 24 pan eyeshadow palette, which feels like a real moment in time. Yeah. Real moment in time. Also really random, but their lip glosses are quite good as well.

7:38Are they? Okay. Honestly, you've just had 42 swaps from me. I don't know that I'd go the 24 eyeshadow again, given I'm like a Zoom shadow stick single eyeshadow gal. Yeah, I think that time's done for now. Yeah. Anyway, there's a fair few swaps to still come your way because we're going to be talking eight dinner party rules worth following. So dinner parties are one of life's true pleasures. I know all of us love a dinner party. Delicious food and drinks, great company, intimate conversations, mood lighting, soft jazz perhaps. Wonder who suggested the soft jazz. I know, I was thinking it was you.

8:10But hosting a successful dinner party isn't as easy as it always seems. There is a lot to consider beyond what you're cooking or what Adrian's cooking in my case. So with the help of Jem Lester, an experienced private caterer and cook, we've compiled eight dinner party rules that we swear by. And these rules will help you pull together your best dinner party yet. And we've got a few tips in there for guests as well. So let's jump into those rules. If you guys are ready. Ready. I have to say as well, I have had the absolute pleasure of having Jem Lester cook for me. She hated a girlfriend's hands.

8:43Don't know why I'm acting like you guys don't know who it is. It's Rhiannon Joyce, head of business development here at Shameless Media. I think I left in love with Gem Lester. I was like, this is some of the best food I've ever eaten. So if you ever see any of her recipes, can't recommend enough. A lot of ingredients, a lot of effort, but oh God, the juice is worth the squeeze. Yeah. I love what I saw on socials. I'm like, okay, might have to get her around for a little dinner party. She's also a sheer delight in her younger brother came to do like the serving. Oh, bless. And I was like, this is just gorgeous.

9:14She's like, no, I have to pay him. I was like, oh, okay. Still though, very cute. Gorgeous. Yeah. Let's jump into the rules. Rule number one, ensure you're catering to all guests properly. We've all been at the dinner party where the dietary hasn't been heard, haven't we? So this rule actually came from the both of you. Yeah. And it's ensuring that you adequately cater to all of your guests. This means allergies, dietries and keeping it all front of mind, but also other things like the timing of the event and whether or not they drink alcohol. Yeah. Do you wish to elaborate given this is your rule?

9:51Yes. One thing that I need to mention is that I hate sparkling water and I really just always want just tap water on the table. And so that's something that I will offer is and make sure that there is tap water available because I hate when I'm at a restaurant, they fill it up and it was tap water, but they put sparkling in it. I'm like, I like to get drinks preferences, especially someone like me. I don't really drink much. Yeah. And I would prefer to have like a non-alcoholic option, like a soft drink or, you know, just water is fine for me. But I also love a peppermint tea at the end of the night.

10:29Oh yeah. So I always like to offer a tea or a coffee at the end of the evening, even if people have been drinking, because that's like my little nightcap, the peppermint tea. You know, they might want a port or they might want a tea or they might want a coffee. I don't know what their preferences are, but at least offering that. But also getting things like, do you hate coriander? Because Adrian hates coriander. So that's something that I'll ask about if I'm not really familiar with the person. Most of my good friends are like, oh, I know that they don't really like eating nuts or I know that they don't really like coriander and I can make those adjustments.

10:58But if they haven't been over before, I haven't been out to dinner with them and paid attention to their dietries, then I always make sure that I ask just in case. Yeah. preferences are huge as well. You can't just be like, oh, any dietary requirements, you can't eat mushrooms. Okay, cool. But like if they hate something else, you don't want to serve that up for them. Eggplant and you're serving eggplant parmigiana. There's going to be a problem. I think as well, like in our friendship group, there's a lot of new mums and at a lot of our dinner parties, I think now we're kind of at that age where we kind of prefer to have a dinner party rather than go out.

11:29Yeah. A lot of the time, someone might be pregnant at the table and we don't want to, or they might not want to necessarily announce it. But so always having an elk-free option has been imperative. Yeah. Always making sure we're not doing like a ceviche or something that like they can't eat. But we've always tried, I think, to make sure when we're catering, ensuring that we're aware of like maybe like a best friend will like whisper in my ear, by the way, I am pregnant. And like, can we make sure there's going to be some like options for me? And I'm like, what are you craving? Like, we'll have that on the table.

11:57But making it sure people don't feel like alienated, so to speak. Yeah. And I'm that girl that I can't eat onions. Like, I just can't. Really? Yeah. So, like, my good friends are making a mental note right now. I'm so annoying. And so, like, my good friends will know when I'm going to their house. They'll, like, we're having, like, taco night or Mexican night. They'll have the onions on the side for me. Oh, that's nice. And I love them so much more. But just, like, little things, like, just so you know who you're catering to. You have options available for everybody. Coriander, I fucking hate.

12:25Like, that tastes like soap to me. So if you put that on the side for me, I'll love you too, Adrienne. Okay. Great. Just know, bulk coriander, A-OK with the gallows. Yes, I love coriander. over here. I don't know why for me it just, it tastes like soap. Isn't that weird? So weird. Yeah. Do you know what I think as well with dietries? Don't, I think the not making someone feel left out is really important. And a lot of people are celiac or gluten-free. Yeah. There's nothing worse when it's like, oh, I don't have any crackers for you, but like you've got a cheese bought out. It's like, well, what do you want them to do?

12:54Like this isn't Stuart Little. They are going to need some sort of cracker or a piece of bread. Like don't have them as an afterthought. Like if you're going to have an entree or something, like it's not like, oh, sorry, you're going to have to miss out for this one. It's taking note of the dietries and catering to them because they're two different things. Definitely. Yeah. Not just main meal time. Okay. And also on the mummers. So a lot of our friends, we went through this really awkward stage of having like a 7pm or an 8pm dinner and a lot of our new mums and like my girlfriends who are mums couldn't come because they might not have sitters.

13:28So now we have a lot of dinner parties that kind of start at like 5 p.m., even 4.30 p.m., or even a long lunch, which we love, which means that we can host to everybody. Everyone can be there. They can actually know they can let their hair down, have a drink, and have a sitter for a decent amount of time before getting home, before bedtime if they have to. But we always try to make sure that we just cater to everyone's time requirements as well. Like five years ago, 10 years ago, we would not have really cared about that. Our night started at like midnight, you know, and now it's so different.

13:57In the club. In the club. You'll find me in the club. But yeah, now it's just so different. We always have to cater to each of our friends kind of dinner times and their schedules and just works for the kids. My girlfriends never know when to leave. I need to get one of those pillows that say please leave by this time. It's time. No, that's a sign of a good host because that means you're really hosting and you're running to be this time. And they're very comfortable. That's kudos to you. And I'm so tired. I've had enough and they'll be like, go on, one more bottle. I'm like, no, please, no leave.

14:26One thing I said to Adrian the other day as well was the comfort of your dining chairs is really important, which I should have added in here as a tip. This is true. Because we've got, I don't know how you describe them, upholstered dining chairs, and so they've got a bit of cushion in them. I hate sitting on like a metal or a wooden chair for a long period of time. Like my bum just hurts so much. Good bum. Yeah. It literally loses feeling. Do you feel the same? Okay, note to self. We actually have two leather chairs and then we've got like a wooden bench. I'll always make sure when you come over.

14:55Yes. There's a name card in your seat right there. Thank you so much. But at least we know that Annika and I will be really locked in when Adrian's cooking a no coriander dish. Yeah. All right, we're going to get into rule two in just a moment, but first we'll hear a word from today's sponsor.

15:15Okay, rule two, let the ambiance do the heavy lifting. So this rule comes from Gem Lester herself. She says to let the ambiance do the heavy lifting at your dinner party. She says vibe injecting elements are just as important as the food. A fun paired cocktail, a handwritten menu, cozy lighting or candles, and a pre-saved playlist. Do you guys agree with Gem? Yeah. Vibes are everything. The vibe's not on, I'm out. Big lights, absolutely off. Candle lights on. Lamps. Fit sexy. Yeah. Yeah. Playlists. There's some really good playlists on Spotify. I love a little jazz playlist. Kind of reminds me of the polo bar in New York and gets that going.

16:00So there's a lot of polo bar playlists. Like it's just like fun very much for a dinner party. Like daytime, I like something that's a little bit more vibrant and has a bit more personality. But at night, I think generally speaking, dinner party chatter is alive and well. So just soft, sexy background jazz. You have to have something in the background. It can't be silence. Yeah, you don't. It sits at home. Especially if someone's in the kitchen, you know. Definitely. Also in a move that will shock absolutely no one. I do feel scent is important in a room as well. I know that cooking can obviously have an aroma, but we can't just have the scent of onion and garlic being cooked.

16:33So, you know, a little incense, a candle, a room spray. So nice. I also like to set the mood in the bathroom for when guests are going to the bathroom. I have a little lamp in the bathroom, like a little standalone lamp from Target. Yeah. Yeah, it's a little gold one, just a touch lamp. Yeah. And I put that in there and then a candle on in there so there's a nice scent going. And it's just so they don't have to flick on the big light after being upstairs in the mood lighting and then come downstairs and like, ah. You're a thoughtful host. I like that. I am with great sound effects today. I'm obsessed with the sound effects.

17:04I don't know what's going on. I think I've had too much sugar. I also want to say that if you're unsure on a vibe, lean into a theme. I have had some really fun nights at different friends' dinner parties, and it's like they've actually kind of created a theme, like tonight's Italian night. And you can have then, you know, an Italian meal, Italian music. And if you're really feeling adventurous, a little Italian outfit. But it's actually quite fun to like, you know, set the tone and the vibe for what the night's going to entail. No, I fully agree with that. One of my very good friends, Deanna, I've got a whole TikTok playlist dedicated to her dinner parties.

17:39I'm obsessed with her dinner parties. And if she's listening, very much looking forward to it. Annika and I are getting to come as guests. Yeah, can we come? If you're listening, Deanna, and she will be because she does listen to this podcast, her handle is Deanna Canatalli if you're looking for her TikTok. But she has the most extra dinner parties. Oh, I'm here for her. This woman has a problem with buying tableware. Like we literally have to say to her, no more, enough. Like I don't know where she puts it all, but she has so many themed sets and things that she puts out on the table. Like she just does the most spectacular setups.

18:10Fun. And she will theme things. Like if it's an Italian meal that we're having, she'll have like Italian music going in the background. All of the dining stuff will be Italian themed. And I actually asked her for this episode. I'm like, what are some places that you would recommend people shop at or have a look at if they're wanting to buy a few little pieces? So she recommended a small little shop called Attico Home, which is in Kielor Downs in Melbourne if you're located in the west. She loves In the Roundhouse, obviously. I think a lot of us know In the Roundhouse already. She also loves a store called Hands, Minimax, and Pillow Talk.

18:44She said are great for some bargain options. Okay. I'm taking notes. The first time I went to Minimax, I was like, holy shit, what have I been missing out on all my life? Oh. It was like going to Ikea for the first time. Okay. That is the only way to liken it when you're just like, oh, my God, everything is here. Like time of my life. I thought 550 things I didn't need, but I had so much fun doing it. Yeah. I think she probably also does the same. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. That iconic for dinner parties. But also don't feel like you have to put on a whole like theatrical thing and buy unnecessary stuff if that's not you.

19:17But if it's something that you really love and you're passionate about like Deanna is, then I can see why. What sparks joy? Where you want to spend your money? Yeah. I actually have the Italian. I still have them. I don't know why. Actually, like it was past tense. I have the Italian plates from In the Roundhouse. Same. And I did an Italian dinner and was like, oh, this looks chic. And then like the next month the girls all came over again and I did Mexican and they were like, it's not quite the same effect. And then I was like, Miss Guzzi on there. I'm like, oh, well, you'll be right. Put your taco on top and let it go.

19:47Rule number three, don't let the guests do the dishes. This comes from Jem and Annika, and some might find it a little controversial, but it's to never, ever let your guests lift a finger and do the dishes. Jem says, I never let my guests do the dishes. I would rather sit and enjoy a wine and then the post-dinner chat than have everyone hustling to clean up the mess I made. It's easily done once everyone's gone. What do you think about this rule? Is it one you follow? I stand so strongly behind this one because I feel like your guests have come to spend time with you. The number of times I've been at a dinner party and the guests are just frantic, they're cleaning as they go or while people are there and then they miss out on some of like the best chat and then you have like, you know, you'll catch up the next day and you're like, oh my God, and then this happened and that happened and they're like, what are you talking about?

20:34I'm like, oh, sorry, you're too busy scrubbing the dishes in the kitchen. I just feel like that can wait. If you're really bothered about the mess or if you don't have the places to put the dishes as they kind of pile up, do the dishes as you go, like when you're cooking especially. But even if it's like a barbecue, sit outside. Don't be so precious about it, depending on what your vibe is. But I so stand strongly behind this. I just want my guests to kind of relax, have a good time, and just really make the most of that night. I definitely agree not letting people do the dishes. because I feel like that's a bit awkward.

21:05Like you're kind of doing a task together. Like it's just, I don't know, it's just weird. Are you anal? Do you have a way of stacking the dishwasher? I do. Okay, I saw this coming. There we go. But I have the problem of having a very small kitchen. And so once the table is cleared, there would be no room for me to then serve up dessert if I didn't put those dishes in the dishwasher. So it's a bit more of like I've got to clear this section so that I can plate up. So there is certain situations where I would do the dishes while people are there, but I know that that's kind of considered rude. Like people say not to do that because it makes guests feel like uncomfortable that you're cleaning in their presence.

21:42Yeah. I so agree if this is like a one soft kind of thing, but also no one's coming to my home that I'm even remotely uncomfortable around. Like these are women who've probably seen me get changed in a fitting room or we've like shared a room with on holiday. So I had dinner parties once a month in my old house, in my backyard, because there was just like a period I didn't, I had like really bad social anxiety and I didn't love going out. So God bless all my girlfriends. They basically always came to my house or we would go to theirs. And it got to the point that we were all so comfortable with each other that it'd be like, your turn to stack the dishwasher, go on.