Charlie Goldsmith: The Energy Healer Doctors Can't Ignore

34:41And so we're only going to be, if we're going to be conditional on life, that I'm going to disagree with it or even hate it based on the natural difficult circumstances that arise, I am going to have a lot harder time with the natural hard times because hard times are hard. But then if I think it's wrong, that's two problems. So we're trying to have one problem. And so that's the idea behind everything is happening for me. So what you do is you're not – yes, you have to deal with a hard time, the loss of the parent, the back, whatever it is. And so you still have the back pain and you have to deal with that.

35:25But if you're also a victim of it, like it's wrong, like it's a fundamental wrong, but it's not because this is life. And so what happens with that is once you kind of go, okay, so yes, I have to move through all these highs and lows of life. but the more i am in a state of everything happens for me at the time instead of waiting for hindsight to decide what's good and bad so often what we do especially people who are like open-minded and spiritual seeking you know we often look back and go yeah i know why that happened for me yeah i grew i learned i became healthier i became a better person i there's you know in hindsight we can pretty much see everything is good pretty most the time right but but what is better to do and more powerful is to not wait for hindsight and what that does is it means that when we're going through something difficult yes we have the difficult event but if we're not hating life because of it or the event we don't go into the overwhelm.

36:39And when we're in an overwhelmed state, we don't heal as well. We don't manifest as well. We don't make decisions that are as good. And those are the things that will help us navigate difficult times. So when you say, well, when I say everything happens for me, the idea of that is a tool to keep us present, to accept life as it is, not get into an overwhelmed state just because I'm having a difficult time. I'm still going through the difficult thing, but I'm not a victim of it. It's just the human experience. And so my ability to exit a difficult time is so much better than the person who is a victim or hating the difficult time, it's not comparable.

37:34So when you just hear that sentence, it's tricky. But when you think about the logic behind it, it's very powerful.

37:41Darin Olien:And it doesn't excuse, it doesn't bypass the pain. It shouldn't because people spiritually bypass all the time and they don't feel, right? That's a big one in most of the communities of manifestation or whatever. You're actually bypassing, bypassing, bypassing a lot of good information that you're missing. And it's also not excusing the event or a person or whatever else. And it's also the feeble little mind can't grok it in those moments anyway. So, but you're building a muscle of this is life up and down. your acceptance of life going, I have no idea why this happened. And I had to deal with it.

38:34Darin Olien:This sucks. I got to deal with it and blah, blah, blah. Similar to I lost my dad. And it's like it's impossible to grok that in the moment. And you have layers and layers of grief. But I just had someone reach out to me because they knew that I lost my dad and they just lost theirs. And then they opened up. and uh and i said in my experience my dad and my relate my relationship with my dad continued after he passed and was beautiful i just miss his body sometimes and i miss interacting with him and it was it proved to be so and that actually came quick a little quicker to me because i could feel him really strong straight after so that's just throwing that as an example griefing him was the hardest thing in my life to this point right so it doesn't get rid of that no no in fact totally appropriate yeah your dad passed and grief is appropriate yeah also you know to but the mistake people make is they sort of say it's wrong that he passed right but if you think it's wrong that he passed you have to say it was wrong that he was born right because this is life and so you are accepting that in your dad's case everything happens for me so when he passed that was a natural consequence of his birth your birth was as a result so we can't hate it but that doesn't mean we don't appropriately mourn feel sad we miss but what happens is if you don't accept that this is how the present moment is presenting then what happens is we say it's wrong it was too soon i wasn't ready shouldn't happen doctors should have done this but if only he had that you know so So what that is is the resistance to reality of I wish things were different to what they are.

40:45But the thing is that if I wish that I'm sitting somewhere else, I'm not. I'm right here.

40:53Darin Olien:Right. So what is the point of wishing to be something that is impossible? And ultimately what that is is wrestling with the present moment. And this is where we live. we're in the present moment we leave it all the time through um you know imagining a better future or a worse one and and imagine or remembering the good parts of our past or the worst we're always leaving the present moment for one reason or another but this is where we are and if i wish it to be different to what it is you know even if i wish to not be here i'm looking at the time i'm I'm wishing it was over, so I'm not here with you.

41:35And this is what people are doing all the time. Can I wish to not be here? No. All I can do is make my time here uncomfortable by wishing it was different to what it is. And this is what we do in life all the time. We're always going, well, I don't want this. The way this present moment is presenting is not what I want. so i'm gonna read a manifestation book that teaches me how to create a new present moment that is different to this one because i don't like this one but but ultimately what that does is it is it entrenches us in this idea of well i'm uncomfortable so i'm going to imagine comfort and somehow that's meant to make me feel better and it does perhaps, you know, when you first hear of concepts like this, it does feel good.

42:31Oh, is that all I need to do? Just imagine. But the truth is actually in order to have peace and ultimately if you have peace, you don't need much more than that. When you have peace, your list of needs shrinks dramatically but the only way to have peace is to be able to sit in the present moment and experience it as it is the difficult moments the beautiful moments and everything in between and go this is the experience i'm meant to be having right now and i'm not going to hate it even if it's hard like even if i have anxiety right now okay i have anxiety right now I'm not going to hate it. I'm going to still experience it without the added layer of resisting reality.

43:22Darin Olien:And do you think that to me just screams addiction, right? Oh, yeah. It's like so we're unwilling to feel and times that by our lifetime. So how many times have we blown that off, pushed that off? Most of the time. Most of the time. so now here we are we've got opportunities of feelings that are trying to come through the body but we're just on to the next we're scrolling we're drinking we're drugging all addiction is is trying to leave the present moment right so the addiction is i don't like how i feel right now and i need a tool to not feel it so that is saying the present moment is uncomfortable and and depending on why it's uncomfortable or depend on the tool we use you know if it's severely uncomfortable like if the if the trauma is very bad it might be as you know it might be fentanyl if it's or it might be you know television or you know somewhere in between that depending on exactly what your level of internal suffering is but addiction is essentially here's the present moment i do not want to be here but the truth is and this is the big misunderstanding is the body is incredible it's incredible if this table was too hot my body would tell me to lift my hand you know if it was a hot plate my body would tell me and it might tell me unfortunately through a really sharp pain right it might be like lift your hand you were burning it might it might hurt me now was my body trying to hurt me or is it was it getting me to react at the speed it needed me to before damage was done right so like the body is capable literally of you could put your hand on a on a flame and if the body if your brain uh didn't want to show you that it's got the actual capability to not but it goes no this is an immediate issue right get your hand up and and in fact it's so clever if i put my hand in a fire or on a flame i can actually get it out quick enough to not be burned because of of my body telling me how urgent this is this is urgent right you know and there's lots of examples of this where the body is constantly help like we don't just drive the body through our eyes and ears and like we're having all these senses if I sat on a pin you know I'm warned you know I didn't see it they didn't hear it but my body gives me all these feelings that help us get from A to B doesn't it you know like if you never felt hungry ever, what would happen?

46:23You'd die. If you never felt thirsty, you would die. Full stop. In fact, quite quickly with thirst. If you never felt scared, you would be dead.

46:41Right? Yeah. So these emotions that that we've kind of called difficult or even when they're kind of when they're in this more elevated overwhelmed state we think they're wrong they are the they're really the most important emotions because it is lovely to feel happy it's lovely to feel love it's lovely to feel joy it's lovely to all they're all lovely and they're important because they make the human experience beautiful but you actually wouldn't be here if it weren't for the emotions that we hate you wouldn't be here you would be dead right full stop especially fear fear is the is the is the superhero of emotions but we ostracize it i stood in a room recently where i i said to people you know put your hand up if you like fear no one put their hand up and i'm like but fear when you cross when you walk up to a road a busy road to cross it fear protects you you better love that you better love that when you're walking on a on a you know on a on a near a cliff fear protects you i wouldn't hire a babysitter that doesn't have access to fear i would never do that and so i said so you no one said they like fear but fear is incredibly important superman without fear is not a superhero anymore because for all the skills that superman has to help people if he looks and doesn't recognize the danger that fear lets you know that person's in trouble and so we've ostracized all these emotions whether that be in the western medical system or even in the self-help oh you feel fear just say i feel calm it's like no no why don't we work how to work with fear why is it telling you that it's afraid all the time you know and then i did the same thing for pain i said who put your hand up if you like pain and this is right after i explained that fear was good no one put their hand up and i said but how many times has pain saved you from being burned how many times like let you know to go to the doctor pain is not bad i know that when it's in an overwhelmed state in other words when it's permanent that's problematic but it doesn't mean it is bad right and it's a really interesting thing that i think even people listening to this if you go through all those emotions they've never seen the importance yeah yeah the perspective of seeing

49:22Darin Olien:the importance of and how you say it in the book is basically this this box of all of the emotions but then some somewhere along the line or an event or whatever you make it wrong you splinter it right and then it all of a sudden it's it's it's now and you gave that great example in the book of your it was your son right daughter daughter where you try to have this be a part of the upbringing and then when a stranger like it was in the airport puts his hand he was compelled by this little rambunctious kid and this older gentleman not trying to harm but inappropriately puts his hand on your daughter oh whatever and she she swung yeah she swung she's like hey i don't know you don't touch me my instinct is hey that's appropriate totally appropriate and that but that's the thing i mean the broader context for that is that what we do what parent even the best parents do this unfortunately i mean i'm not saying every parent but like it's sort of we have good parent we think of good parents and bad parents But the truth is that if you don't actually understand the concepts of how the personality forms, then good parents can do harm.

50:47And one of the ways good parents can do harm is it's like we have this expectation that children should behave like adults pretend to behave. Yeah. So children are meant to behave at this level that adults behind closed doors simply do not.

51:02Darin Olien:Right. But we have this expectation. So, you know, a young child, an example is like, you know, a three-year-old doesn't want to share their toy. And we're forcing them to share. And the problem with that is it seems fine on the surface level. Of course, we should make them share. But what happens if we teach the child that you always have to share even when you don't want to? Now, a three-year-old doesn't have the broader context of sharing feels good and all this stuff. They're not at that stage. They're at the stage where they're like, this is my property, right? And we try and curate them to be like, don't hit, don't swear, don't do whatever.

51:47But the truth is that as you get to be an adult, there are times where it isn't appropriate to share because you don't have the resources. resources you know so you that child if if they're shamed for protecting their resources as the adult could potentially overshare you know like give more than they can afford to give because that the part of their personality that is it was forming to to to maintain what they need to maintain even though at the time of course you know you'd love them just to share with everyone but ultimately we're curating their personality instead of recognizing that the personality is made up of many traits sharing not sharing hitting and not hitting so i shouldn't hit you right now but if you attack me i'm probably going to need to defend myself so so both things may be appropriate so does the child need to learn the part of their personality that can hit when they're so small they can't hurt anyone yes because one day you don't want them to have a freeze response which is what you were referring to in the event they need to defend themselves like a little girl with the older man trying to touch her my daughter and so but that's what happens is it's like we we we spend our whole lives we have this very dynamic very um you know very big range in our different personality traits and you know from from rage to joy and generosity so it's a big variance in the human capacity and what we're doing to us parents do to children is they're going no snip don't that's too angry that tantrum is wrong that behavior is wrong so we're curating the personality at a young age but we don't what we don't realize is that as the adult then we've cut off a lot of these personalities we're creating the person that can't speak up the person that that doesn't you know can't defend themselves the person that um you know gives too much or gives too little like all these things because at these early ages we've done this curation but then we do it also as adults so we say what is wrong with me sometimes i get angry or sometimes i withdraw or whatever how do i fix that how do i fix this part of me that i don't like i don't like part of me.

54:15And so we're continuing this curation, you know, whether it's like I show up to a doctor, I have anxiety. Oh, you don't like that? No, I don't like it. Okay, here's the pill for it. Or show up to the self-help person and say, I have these thoughts in my head where I'm not good enough. Oh, that's really simple. Just think you're good enough. But what about the thoughts that I'm not good enough? Is that important sometimes? You know, is it important sometimes to feel bad about yourself? Yes, it's critical because how do I grow? Is shame wrong? No, because if I upset a friend or hurt my partner or whatever I do, is a shame response appropriate?

54:54Yes, because I feel, oh, I'm so, I feel really ashamed. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I'm going to repair. I'm going to improve, right? So all these emotions are very, very important, But what we're doing as a society, no matter where you go on the spectrum for help, we're still curating our personalities. And so unfortunately, the more we do it, the worse things get. Because we actually need all aspects of our personality to be functioning, not in overwhelm, but in coherence. But the more we try and curate them, the more overwhelm we get. Yeah, even that self-help example, it further supports, hey, I don't have what I want.

55:48Darin Olien:I want to feel joy all the time, but I have this part of me that it isn't on board. And so therefore, just to go, we'll just do a mantra, then has to put it in the corner again. Exactly. And it goes on and on and on. And then that kid, where it came from, is just doing the same thing. So then it's doing push-ups in the parking lot, getting ready to kind of blow up again. And then you miss the opportunity and the missed opportunity. And I'm putting my hands up. Like I've clearly missed some opportunities even in my situation. I don't say even in my. I'm like. You're at the pointy end of you should know, right?

56:25You would think. Yeah. But the problem is that the information is wrong. And so because it's a big industry and ultimately people can read a book and go, oh, you know what, I'm going to make my own spin on this. We've got a lot of the same subject matter written in a few different ways. That's just the reality. You've got a thousand manifestation books. You've got a whole lot of books on change your thoughts, change your life. But ultimately it isn't working. It creates band-aids. So it can feel good for a bit. Like, for example, if you're in a terrible place and you don't have enough money and whatever else, a manifestation book will make you feel better for a little bit.

57:04It will because you're imagining feeling good, but ultimately it all comes crashing down at a point.

57:13Darin Olien:But it also doesn't, you know, it's not 100 % either or in the sense that, and I don't mean it from a bypass perspective, but I mean it from a, and i'm also going back to when you're at peace your list is less much shorter but but at the same time if i have a purpose-driven life and i have things that i that i want to do and create so yeah i i get clear and i write them down and i'm i'm doing those things but it's not it's not with the not feeling side of it you can do that you can't you can't you gotta make like i i'm made an app which you mentioned earlier like that was a 25 year plan right so in terms well i didn't know it was gonna be an app but it was a plan that turned into an app but so you can still be like you know this is these are things i would like to achieve and that's fine i mean our brain is able to do this but but ultimately we are still here yeah and in fact in order to achieve the thing we need to be here doing things every day that step us closer to that thing.

58:22But if we're trying to live in the future that hasn't arrived yet, then a few things happen. In the present moment is where our body tells us what it needs to tell us. It says, that table's too hot. It says, I don't feel good right now. I have some anxiety. It says, I'm hungry. It says, it's telling us things. It says, I feel good. so the meeting ground for emotion is in the present moment and our body is so intelligent and we should we don't but we should trust that even if i'm fearless if i feel anxious right now i happen not to but if i did and the problem that we have is we say but i'm not uncomfortable i'm sitting on my couch at home alone why am I anxious and we say it is wrong but what happens is and this is the bit people misunderstand you've got the present moment we'll just put this here and then you've got the past a timeline from birth to here and then you have the future what happens is we have all these parts of us that we have pushed out at different times I don't want to feel this Xanax I don't want to feel this alcohol I don't want to feel this surfing I want to feel right so it and so there's all these you know 1982 1990 you know there's all these moments and what happens in the present moment is these parts of us that we've said no to are trying to come back and so that's why when people get these emotional uh moments that are out of context yeah they further say no this doesn't belong here everything is fine i have a good job i have a good partner whatever the misunderstanding is that's true everything is okay now but you have a whole history of stuff that you've pushed out and it actually needs to come through and what happens is when you allow it over time there won't be all these historical things knocking at the door saying hey you ready now the six-year-old you the 12-year-old you the you know the in your case the at birth and ultimately so the the present moment is the meeting ground for that like how do i feel right now okay i feel sad okay all right sadness well this is what my intelligent body is telling me i'm meant to feel right now i'm i'm gonna feel you i'm not gonna hate you you're part of me sadness is an appropriate response to a death it's an appropriate response to a breakup is an appropriate response to a job loss right these are all appropriate and so recognizing that that even if the emotion is out of context to the present moment it's only because i paused it and it had no choice but to come in out of context and it's very important because in this same moment is you and i having a conversation where we would like to be present it's also where true manifestation that everyone is sort of hoping to find it actually exists in the present moment it exists in sitting here wanting to be here no matter how it feels because this is life

1:01:41Darin Olien:yeah it's it's uh it's intense in the sense that it's so easy our society our life is so set up to distract us um and it's so easy to blow that off and uh it's it's like it's funny i have a question like it might be the weirdest question how do like i find myself sometimes how do i literally how do i feel not how do i feel but how do i then feel how do you feel yeah yeah yes you know what i mean so like i'm sitting i was sitting this morning and going i'm going into my back and i'm letting that i'm just kind of i'm not necessarily doing anything other than just going there to feel it is that basically i would think of it as well as um you have the sore back and obviously we'll i'll try and help you with it if i can but you have the sore back and you have your you have the physical pain you also have your emotional responses to that that's the layers we would like to get rid of because let's pretend and i and i hope this isn't true and i'm sure it won't be true but let's pretend that for the rest of your life you have this back that's you have to manage would you rather be at peace with it yes or would you rather have the pain and be overwhelmed for the rest of your life every time the pain comes because the pain if it's a given and i'm not saying it is i'm just saying if it was when you look back would you rather have just been at peace and yes you're experiencing the same level of pain but then you're not mentally in overwhelm and i'll give you an interesting example if you have no pain at all but you're in overwhelm people kill themselves in that state yeah so over being overwhelmed especially of a prolonged period even if your body is fine even you got all the money in the world even you've got beautiful children even even the career is great but you're in an overwhelmed state it is dangerous yeah i would say it's dangerous like anyone who has been in prolonged overwhelm will will tell you it's unsafe isn't it and so what we're trying to do is go well if we if we are constantly a victim of the present moment and wishing things were different and in fact hating the present moment as it's presenting, that is where overwhelm comes from.

1:04:21And it is arguably the most dangerous state you can be in. And so what we want to do is say, well, my back is in a lot of pain. And obviously, I'm not telling you to be joyous about it. In fact, the appropriate response is, this doesn't feel good. but we need to process that appropriate response so it doesn't keep saying it right you only need to hear it once do you know what i mean okay we know you hate it so it doesn't need to repeat every day of your life right because you're already suffering enough and so we want to get rid of the emotional layers and then i would argue it'll be very interesting to see what happens when those layers are gone the hatred the unfairness the i could have had this all these things they're understandable responses but they echo for forever and so finding peace with what is is very powerful and then it can be miraculous what that can create and that's also important So either way, whether you continue to suffer the pain but not the overwhelm, that would still be a very good…

1:05:44Big time. Yeah. Because I'll put it this way. If you got rid of the pain but kept the overwhelm, at some point, it's actually a risk to your life. Yeah. Yeah.

1:05:59Darin Olien:Well, I feel like we could talk for a long time. And that's why the beautiful thing, you put this so well in the book and gave so many great examples. So I really hope that people understand this because this is going to tweak their matrix a little bit. A little bit. You know, it's going to fly in the face of a lot of this stuff. But the intro to your book, I got butterflies. like I was like oh he's pink he's putting his finger on something that that I think is needed and required and it is a unescapable thing that we need to experience but we keep trying to escape it and it just doesn't lead to peace not working and I think look I mean I hope I think that the book can help a lot of people.

1:06:49I mean, I genuinely, that's why I did it because I really think it's meaningful. And what it does is it ties together some of these high-level concepts that have only ever been given to us as one-liners. Oh, just be present. Okay, like I don't, but that's not comfortable. Why would I want that? And so, and also, I think helps people understand where some of these, where you've got to be careful of who your teachers are because some things feel good in they feel like they could be a solution but actually you'd be very careful to make sure that they are in fact that and they're not just another painkiller for the present moment yeah and and that is that's what we want to avoid

1:07:43Darin Olien:yeah well i love the work on every level and i'm grateful for this call we'll have to bring it back and we'll dive into it more but uh yeah thank you for your time your contribution and and let's uh let's help people let's bring them back to feel in the moment that'd be good yeah yeah thanks brother pleasure