Gabby Reece: The Truth About Love, Discipline & Becoming Who You're Meant to Be

16:06Gabby Reece:I felt really, I remember thinking, I like who I am more. I'm more proud of myself when I'm working hard and earning it versus, you know, twiddling my thumbs or getting into any trouble. Right. And so once you feel that, you go, this feels good.

16:21Darin Olien:Right.

16:21Gabby Reece:So I think it was a combination. Mm-hmm.

16:25Darin Olien:Now, did you, did the competitive, because you had to have this competitive drive, you still have it, it shows up in different ways now, but what was that like? Because, you know, okay, modeling and okay, you were tall and athletic, but what was the drive to just keep, did you, when did you notice that, I guess?

16:48Gabby Reece:It was early, because I realized I was going to have to take care of myself it was on my it was on me so that was kind of added the competitiveness drove you to take care of yourself as well that's what it was going to take right so i'm more about like i'm not just competitive for the sake of being competitive i'm probably competitive by nature but not just all over the place and everything all the time right but where it like larry might be that way correct that's why he couldn't compete that's exactly right he's so competitive he can't compete which is kind of a oh it's insanity brilliant weird yeah so he's so competitive he's competing he's decided i'm so competitive i'll pick mother nature because i know going in i can never win never so it's so clear the biggest force that's right there was it's not like today it might be my day it's like he knows going in every time that's never going to happen.

17:44Gabby Reece:So I think I just turned it off and on. And it was like, oh, today the goal is you're going to play this game. You got to get this many points. Do that. Focus. Don't let your teammates down. You've worked hard. So let's see what you can do. It's a combination. You know, it is a different form of expression. It's a ego thing. It's a being a reliant partner thing. It's all the things. Plus it's, it can be really fun, you know? And so if you say, hey, if you said to me at that time, part of the goal is you get to win, then it's like, okay, what's that going to take? So I think it was more about that.

18:26Gabby Reece:And also I understood really young, really early, I was really, I could recognize an opportunity that was never wasted on me.

18:36Darin Olien:That's a good skill.

18:37Gabby Reece:So I think I was a door opener and a go through, even though like, I'm uncomfortable. I don't know. I'm unsure. No, it's an opportunity. You got to go.

18:46Darin Olien:And then the more you do that, the more trust probably it brings.

18:51Gabby Reece:Yeah. And you fall on your face and you realize you can survive it. Right. I've fallen on my face tons. I do still. So I think that practice was early and often. And so it really formed me quite young. Yeah.

19:06Darin Olien:And then you had these big moments, which is always great, again, for me to, you know, how you meet someone the way they are. But then you look back at your past and go, oh, that was Gabby, too, right? And so these moments that you had in your life where, I mean, just this side. I think it was, I don't know if it was Jose, because when I was in Boulder, the Jose Cuervo came through. Yeah, we played a bit of that, yeah.

19:35Gabby Reece:And then I played a lot of times because I was playing on the fours. I played with the mixed. So I'd play with a male partner, which was really stressful. Like you're playing with Karch Karai and you're like, please, God, don't let me make a mistake. What if I just stand in the corner and he can play one against two? So it was good fun. And there was a lot of time, and I know people feel this way in their life, that I thought, do I really belong here? And then it's later. You know, I had a teammate from college. My teammates were not, some of them were okay, but some were pretty tough on me in college especially.

20:13Gabby Reece:And I had a teammate that I still am friendly with, and she's like, you know, you were really good in college. I mean, like I have records at Florida State that are still there. And I was like, oh, that's so funny because they didn't really, a lot of them maybe didn't want me to feel that way when I was playing. So I always appreciated it. But I think for people to feel like sometimes they're in over their head a little bit, out of their depth, that's okay. You can still do a lot of good stuff and do good work, all whilst feeling like, oh, you know, I feel a little bit, you know, like your nose is kind of just right there in the water.

20:52Gabby Reece:That's kind of funny because you've married something like that.

20:56Darin Olien:And the culture you've created at your home is you've always continued to push that. And Laird pushes that and you are pushing that. And it's interesting.

21:07Gabby Reece:But I will tell you something different, very different about Laird and I.

21:11Darin Olien:One of the biggest questions I get constantly is, Darren, where can I find the best non-toxic cookware? Listen, I don't mess around with things that go ultimately in my body. And that includes what I cook with. That's why I swear by Our Place. Because from day one, they've been committed to making clean, healthy, non-toxic cookware and kitchenware. No sketchy coatings, no forever chemicals, just pure conscious design that are beautiful. as well as highly functionable. I've been using their titanium always pan for months now. It's the only pan I cook with and here's why. Pure titanium, non-toxic, PFAS free.

22:05Darin Olien:Extremely durable, metal utensils, high heat, dishwasher safe. This thing can handle it all. All in one performance. The best stainless steel cast iron nonstick in a single pan. And here's the real kicker. Most nonstick pans, they're still loaded with PFAS, these forever chemicals that break down in your body and stay in your body and they accumulate over time. We just don't need that. They disrupt the gut microbiome, testosterone, dysregulation, metabolic issues, hormone imbalances, immune dysfunction, and chronic inflammation they contribute to. Think about it. Every time you cook, you could be introducing toxins into your body.

22:50Darin Olien:And the simple act of switching to safe cookware eliminates that. This is why it's the easiest, most powerful change you can make, certainly in your kitchen, for long-term health and the elimination of toxic exposure.

23:06Gabby Reece:So Our Place is having their biggest sale of the year.

23:11Darin Olien:35 % all site-wide products through January 12th. So head over to fromourplace.com forward slash Darren and see why over a million people have made the switch to Our Place Kitchenware. And with their 100-day risk-free trial, free returns, and free shipping,

23:35Gabby Reece:you can shop with confidence.

23:38Darin Olien:So Our Place Holiday Sale is going on right now with no discount code necessary.

23:45Gabby Reece:I asked Laird once, because I met Laird at 25, which now sounds really young to me. God. I said to him once, we must have been married already for like a few years. Has there ever been a time that you were going to go somewhere to surf and maybe you hadn't surfed that spot and you traveled a long distance or maybe you've got new equipment. You thought to yourself, I hope I can do it. And he's like, no. And I thought, oh, that's interesting. He has a very different relationship with his sport than I did with mine. And I think a lot of lifestyle people, lifestyle sport people, they earn it in such a different way that I think they have a different understanding of what they're doing.

24:28Gabby Reece:And also there's an unpredictability that's always a part of it. So they learn that muscle. they develop that muscle learning how to be like i know how to do this and there's all these unknown variables that are definitely going to show up right and their relationship with that is

24:44Darin Olien:is probably a lot deeper yeah so you so that curiosity that comfortability of being in front of the camera the whole mtv thing i think it was either the hosie cuervo i probably saw you but it

25:00Gabby Reece:It was probably MTV Sports. It was probably MTV Sports. You weren't watching volleyball, but you were watching.

25:05Darin Olien:Yeah, Dan Cortez. And they just had this freaking cool niche.

25:10Gabby Reece:And Henry Rollins was on that show as well. Did you know that? He did a slam for like six, seven minutes. And then Dan Cortez got hurt. It was his idea and his show. Totally.

25:24Darin Olien:Dan's. Dan was like a PA.

25:27Gabby Reece:That part could be wrong of what I'm saying. But he worked at MTV. Maybe he had this idea and that was his idea. And so when he got hurt, because the idea was he'd go interview people, do all these things, and do a beginner's version of what that looks like, whether it's jumping out of a plane, climbing a mountain, whatever, barefoot water skiing.

25:42Darin Olien:It was kind of way ahead of its time. Oh, yeah.

25:44Gabby Reece:And he got hurt and he was like, I'm not doing that anymore. So they hired me to do that.

25:49Darin Olien:Wow. So I would show up and he'd do all the wraparounds.

25:52Gabby Reece:He'd be sitting with some uber famous rock star or basketball player and he'd be like, oh, we're going to throw to Gabby Reese. And he'd always say like, you know, she's like nine feet tall. And then like, or say something funny, you know, and then there I was doing something.

26:05Darin Olien:Right.

26:06Gabby Reece:And I really enjoyed it because I'd learn about the athlete. I'd try something new. There was something, because by nature, I'm actually not an adventurous person that way. There always has to be, and this is one of my many flaws. What's the point? Jim Quick said to me that we all have a leading question. And he goes, do you know yours? And I go, oh, yeah. What's the point? and for me like oh gabby you want to go hike this mountain it's like for what right the view okay like i've seen views right no we have a job to do we need to accomplish this thing by the end we have to have a beginning a middle and end and i'm like oh great i can do that let's jump out of the plane no problem wow so i got to do all this really cool stuff that you would never never drive drag bikes dragsters barefoot water skiing i don't suggest that i hurt my knee um well just all kinds of things that i would have never done and uh so it was actually really good way for me to be that person still in alignment with actually who i am right and then

27:09Darin Olien:you met laird on that that was that show actually a show after that i got it was called the extremist

27:14Gabby Reece:you know laird wouldn't be on mtv sports he would be on the extremist that was one more niche and so by then I had done a lot of shows and believe me I had no romantic interludes with any of my guests right 98 percent of them being men um and then there was Laird yeah and uh yeah that was 30 years ago Jesus it's crazy it's crazy that the two of us could be married for so long because you wouldn't think like if you knew me and you knew laird um you wouldn't think that we would be able to and i always say listen every good couple they have to almost get divorced once or twice yeah that's kind of the way it is so i wouldn't paint the picture of like we just slipped into that and we knew exactly no there's been a lot of toe stomping and apologies and and adjustments and learning because we didn't have a model of that well there's that big big moment

28:14Darin Olien:i don't know if there was anything bigger but the when i first started to get to know you and i did know laird yeah right i was shuffling those bars that i was making and he was doing extreme stuff and we would see each other in the gym and thank god you wore your helmet when you were mountain biking and biking oh my god i slammed my head against the pavement you had a tough girlfriend

28:35Gabby Reece:who was up your colon about wearing a helmet, but if she did one thing right.

28:39Darin Olien:I think I, the first time I think, aside from football, I had a full-on concussion.

28:45Gabby Reece:You cracked your helmet.

28:46Darin Olien:Yeah, broke it. Blood on the side of PCH.

28:49Gabby Reece:Yeah.

28:50Darin Olien:I'm thankful for that. It's funny that you're...

28:53Gabby Reece:She had really pretty eyes.

28:55Darin Olien:Oh, she's stunning.

28:57Gabby Reece:And tough. Tough, yeah.

28:58Darin Olien:You saw that right away.

29:01Gabby Reece:Oh, well, I'm a girl. Yeah, yeah. The pretty eyes and everything else beautiful didn't distract me. I was like, ooh, he's got a kill up.

29:09Darin Olien:I've learned. Who saved your life. Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, that's 20 years ago.

29:16Gabby Reece:Yeah.

29:18Darin Olien:So, yeah, so at that time, and I don't know all the details, but I remember. And so, again, I didn't know Laird. I didn't know his habits. and Larry, I found out later, was a real thing. And I probably wouldn't have been a good match for me at that time. Well, there I came from, you know, my dad was an alcoholic. So any that shit, I just avoid completely. You know, and Laird just being who he is. I mean, the stories I heard was like, oh, that's.

29:54Gabby Reece:Yeah, he's already radical. Yeah. And then he was drinking red wine. And then in -

30:01Darin Olien:Like not just a little.

30:02Gabby Reece:Oh, no, every day. And I used to be like, oof. And this is when he was really performing at a very high level. I also thought he punished himself more, trained harder, did everything more because he probably knew that the alcohol wasn't great.

30:16Darin Olien:Yeah.

30:16Gabby Reece:But he was working out his own stuff. You know, there's an interesting thing when you're in a partnership where it's like, hey, I'm your partner. And this is about how this impacts me. But I'm also your friend.

30:27Darin Olien:Right.

30:28Gabby Reece:And I can see a lot of dynamics that make me also understand some of this behavior. It doesn't mean it's great, but it makes me understand it. And I think Laird was confused by being able to be in pursuit of something that he genuinely loved, that gift, that freedom, because it brought – he could make a living from it. He got attention from it. And meanwhile, he could see that that's not the case for everybody. and especially not where he grew up where people they have to work really hard to get it done and so i think he carried a weird i don't want to say shame right but maybe yeah a little bit well

31:09Darin Olien:he's got such a blue collar sensibility too yes so he knows how to work hard if anyone's been around on me yeah like he's doing anything yeah and fixing stuff and and and performing at a high level and coming up with stuff like he's always oh yeah so it makes sense how you explain it in that way because if you come up with an island and you're around hard-working people yeah and then you're wrestling with this i'm i'm i'm doing my thing at a very high level and i'm being praised is the wrong word but yeah but it's part of it yeah it's weird it's a strange thing but But the moment, because you can have all that awareness, and you don't know someone's timing, especially with addiction, right?

32:01Darin Olien:And you sat, you were like, I think, and correct me if I'm wrong, but this is how I remember it. You said, hey, this isn't going to work for me. You can keep doing whatever you're doing. You're going to have access to the children, all of that stuff. You weren't going to go gnarly in all of those weird ways, but you couldn't no longer be in this. And so you set.

32:24Gabby Reece:Well, it was 12 years. Right. And it sort of had accelerated because you figure I met Laird when he was 31. Then he sort of started getting kind of this attention at 35, 36. And I think that's when he had to dance and figure it out. And then, you know, you got to go through shit. So we went through some shit. And I think that what's interesting is the minute Laird saw either I'm going to lose my family I was pregnant with our youngest daughter, or I potentially have hurt Gabby, and I don't mean physically. He just stopped. And to your point, because I'm well aware that, you know, and I was 37, like I was an adult.

33:09Gabby Reece:It couldn't be that I said, you better. If it didn't occur to him, he wasn't going to stop. And so I just presented my side, which was like, hey, I love you, but I just I can't hold my breath anymore. Because I would just go to bed and go, I could wake up in the morning and Laird has either like a broken neck or he's dead because he's because he doesn't do like out in public at a bar kind of guy. He's like in farm equipment on the pineapple field, you know. And I was like, but take your time and decide because maybe life's too boring for you without it. Because I'm the I was the other way. I grew up in the Virgin Islands where everybody drank.

33:46Gabby Reece:So my adult life, that alcohol wasn't really part of my life. And that was it.

33:53Darin Olien:But it was a boundary for you. And that's where no one's telling Laird what to do. No one. Not even now.

34:01Gabby Reece:Maybe daughters say some stuff that I go, whoa, whoa, that was good.

34:05Darin Olien:Right.

34:05Gabby Reece:But they're the only ones. Right.

34:07Darin Olien:Yeah, so the way you did it was, number one, a boundary for you. You had to make a choice. And then that was wildly and weirdly and perfectly an invitation for him to see the effect.

34:25Gabby Reece:Yeah.

34:25Darin Olien:And thank God he chose.

34:29Gabby Reece:Well, you know what's interesting is people, when they're in new relationships, they kind of don't know what they could deal with. And I will say this. when you're with a person and they have a behavior that is not great for them and then that would mean not great for the family or the partnership and they make a distinct change not only can people like recover from a lot of things but you will never love respect and appreciate your partner more when they're able to do that because you also have a reference of they used to be like this and now they're doing something completely different. It is one of the more inspiring things to be a part of in a partnership because to change is really hard.

35:19Gabby Reece:So when they do that, the depth, I mean, I held my breath for six months. I was like, okay, let's see how this is going to go.

35:29Gabby Reece:But it's an opportunity for love to grow. and also then the other person can be like oh that person can really be there for me in a real way and also laird had already done that for me i had a meltdown at 30 and split and i said to laird when we got through some of this stuff i said you know somebody showed me uh forgiveness and that's you and so what happens is is when you can develop this thing where you realize this person genuinely has my back especially when i say i'm gonna do this and i do it different because that's got to be part of the deal right you know i can't say like i'm not i'll stop doing that and i keep doing the same thing it's um it can really really solidify the relationship in a in a whole new

36:17Darin Olien:way that you didn't know yeah and those that you know as wild as it is being human we're gonna have these challenges but how we're I mean not to be cliche but how we're dealing with them and the the abilities just show up in the face of you don't know and it's impossible to understand but you share your truth and something you've always been as I've known you very honest and very open, very warming, but also to people, but also clear. There's no ambiguity with you. There's no ambiguity with Laird.

36:56Gabby Reece:No, definitely not with Laird. I have sometimes a little higher polish. But actually, I've learned to really respect that. Laird said to me one time, he was direct with somebody about something, and he looked at me and he goes, this is being loving. He's like sugarcoating it or walking it around or whatever. He goes, being honest with somebody, that's actually being really loving. And so as a female, we're taught very differently. And so as you get a little older and you have less time, maybe throw a kid or two in there. I don't have time for this. And then, you know, add a hormone shift or two and you're just like game on.

37:34Gabby Reece:Like you're like, no, I need to tell you. But what I thought was so interesting, and I actually think in a masculine trait, there's a way to present things. You're not angry. You're not not in love anymore. You're not coming from a negative energy. You're still coming of love and being direct. And that takes, at least for me, it took me a long time to house both those things.

38:02Darin Olien:It's a practice. Yeah. It's certainly a practice.

38:05Gabby Reece:Well, and again, I think for females, we don't want to let anyone down. For sure. And then you realize you're definitely not going to please everybody.

38:15Darin Olien:Yeah. Well, then, you know, I can't help it. I was really, I had Dr. Mindy Peltz on.

38:24Gabby Reece:Yeah, she's feisty. I like her.

38:26Darin Olien:And we talked. Yeah, I can understand.

38:28Gabby Reece:The separate bedroom thing is far out.

38:30Darin Olien:Yeah.

38:31Gabby Reece:A lot of sleep divorce going on at people my age.

38:33Darin Olien:Really?

38:34Gabby Reece:Yeah. Wow. I don't, you know what's funny? I think though bonding, there's some bonding that goes on when you're sleeping next to a partner. And I think every couple has to do what works for them, for sure. But I think there's something like in my dynamic with Laird where it's like he would much prefer that I'm in the bed with him. Yeah.

38:57Darin Olien:I don't think we understand how important that is. We can't even unpack the quantum entanglement that's going on. but at the same time it can't be things thrown under the rug either well we don't have that in our house exactly that but that's not because of me i'm just saying in general like it doesn't it won't work for people if there's things that are boiling underneath the surface yeah because you want to go i i can't deal with that no but that's not and there's something else i i think i'm

39:28Gabby Reece:learning a little bit too as I go.

39:32Darin Olien:Before we continue the pod, I want to share something. I've tried so many supplements. I've been in the space for 25 years and every so often something really pops out. Monovitality is that difference. It's not just about adding minerals. It's about tuning your body to the higher frequency physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually because this is the mana from the earth, the shilajit, the ormus minerals, and so on. There's so much going on with this brand. I'm so excited. Beyond the shilajit, they're expanding into other elementals. The brand is built on ancient alchemy with ingredients like gold, nanoparicles, beta-glucans, shilajit, ormus, all geared to elevate you, especially in today's world.

40:26Darin Olien:You need bioavailable, a bio-delivery system that upgrades your body from the inside out. Every formula is frequency charged to promote balanced energy immune system and cellular renewal. And the wild part, the more consistently you take it, the more you feel everything in your body. It's the same with me. The more I use it, the better I feel. My sleep improved, my skin glows, my stress goes down, my testosterone goes off. It's like my whole system is humming again. So if you're tired of low energy, brain fog, and or just not feeling the same and like something's missing, check out Mana. Go to manavitality.com.

41:13Darin Olien:That's M-A-N-N-A vitality.com. Use the code DAREN20 and you get 20 % off your order. This isn't about health. It's about living in harmony with your greatest and highest potential.

41:28Gabby Reece:I really want to be excited by my partner. And I don't mean like, oh, sex and all that. That too. But there's something about even as you're getting older, could you be exciting? And that's on us. Like that's not for me to say to a letter, get exciting. Or him to say, you know, Gabby, you could be more exciting. Yeah. And I think there's something like, for example, about Laird where he's exciting to me. And so and he does pull all the weeds. There's nothing that's put under the carpet. And so it keeps a little bit of that energy, even though after 30 years where it's kind of like, oh, you know.

42:11Gabby Reece:and and and so i think part of the excitement can still live and breathe a little hotter because there isn't stuff getting put under the carpet and do you think that's also because

42:25Darin Olien:there's a radical honesty thing there for sure and do you think it's also just going back on laird's always been driven by purpose by and you too like and so you both and of course moving into business and all these other things there's a drive that that is there that is individual and it's and it's also now there's a lot of crossover collective stuff too which is cool to see you guys doing things kind of unified as opposed to well gabby i still learn to surf or something you know so excuse me so how has that been in the evolution because there has been ups

43:13Gabby Reece:and downs where your career is thriving yeah nike time and the like you were hitting

43:18Darin Olien:high cylinders right you're doing a lot of things and laird's laird was more of a supportive role and then it's flipped and then he was shining i feel like we've been in he's shining a long time

43:33Gabby Reece:i'm like here's dinner let's raise kids and you know what it's exactly what has been right for me because that's what i wanted to do but yeah it's interesting it's a but when you can when you so within that also is and i have talked about this before is also we're both very selfish we're both completely of service to the relationship to the family but first we're both uh i think of service to what each individual what i need what he needs and so i think because we're doing that no matter what that takes care of a lot of issues because i'm not waiting like on him to be a certain way so i can feel a certain thing right and so that is that's a that's a values thing and that you we came into that with this you know i think i heard Tony Robbins say like 90 % of the deal is like who you pick.

44:29Gabby Reece:And so I can say, yes, we've learned some things in that 10%, but we have come to the relationship with some similar values that seem to have lined up and be harmonious. But it does, it keeps that energy moving in. It's not a blocked off waterway. New energy is coming in and old things are moving out and new is coming in. And so that does show up in the dynamic of being together.

44:57Darin Olien:Yeah, and you've also been at such a, you know, I remember in meetings with you and you're bringing Reese in as a tiny little baby into a meeting. And like you'd go out to the car and breastfeed and come back. And like, you know, you were such a cool example of me just like sitting there going, oh, that's freaking rad. Like you weren't just, and I think it helped probably the children too, because it just kind of brought that it wasn't like I got to be with children and then I'm doing this. And maybe it was the aloha spirit. I don't know.

45:32Gabby Reece:Yeah, it's a luxury too though.

45:34Darin Olien:Yeah.

45:34Gabby Reece:Because I'm self-employed, which means you're an entrepreneur, which means you're willing to take the hint of what that means. so I create I was fortunate that I could create the environment to say during the time that my children especially are very young they will be with me and that is one of the greatest luxuries

45:54Darin Olien:that a person could have yeah and and that was very much a part of because our world's not set

46:01Gabby Reece:up like that right right our world is set up that you go nine to five you plug in okay you get three months maternity leave if right I have teammates that I would talk to on the phone and they'd be going back to work once I got into the real world. And so I also, I think I really recognize it, but it's being able to say that, yes, that means also you will work on Sunday. Right. Whatever it takes. Yeah.

46:24Darin Olien:Yeah. Being an entrepreneur is gnarly.

46:26Gabby Reece:You know. Yeah. Whatever it takes.

46:28Darin Olien:Whatever it takes.

46:28Gabby Reece:Yeah.

46:30Darin Olien:But having that support in the other partner, knowing that they're doing that in their own lane, in their lane, and then a shared lane. Yeah. How has that been with, you know, because Laird's Superfood has also had a bunch of ups and downs and challenges too.

46:45Gabby Reece:XPT even has. XPT. They all have.

46:49Darin Olien:Yeah. It's like.

46:51Gabby Reece:That's another show. No. I think what they don't tell you is that's how it goes.

46:59Darin Olien:Yeah.

47:01Gabby Reece:You know, you're always like growing and contracting and growing and pain points and, oh, but we have to grow more. But look how successful we are. Yep. Got to grow more. you know grow or die it's like so i think you just had you get a cut you don't uh you don't uh hit the hit the bumps so hard you know i and then you can kind of recognize them and think well how do i need to set my thermostat to endure this next either good or tough phase yeah you know you're not so like freaked out about everything you're just like oh this is gonna be like this is gonna

47:36Darin Olien:to feel like this for a couple months yeah it's you know it's it's all of what's seen in the world is riddled with the path of just carnage too sometimes things that didn't work projects that didn't work businesses i mean you guys have had a lot of opportunity you've tried you've given a go and a lot of things didn't work and that's time that's money that's like yeah there's no safety net of that stuff. It's just constant. And there's one incredible trait that you and Laird both have is that there's no way anything's staying stagnant. Even though that's kind of an illusion, but we still, in our mental construct, we believe that there is some sort of place that, oh this is good but every time you know every time I've been around Laird in particular where if he feels like something's the same oh my god yeah you're like get ready because because it's it's changing and it's going to be uncomfortable and then it's like anything though

48:51Gabby Reece:and then there's always going to be certain foundational things that are so constant so that the thing that rests on top of the foundation can do that because if you don't have okay get to bed you you're the best example of anyone on the planet of this and if you're not eating a certain way and loving and you know doing the things then you you can't hand your thing that you rests that you build on top can't handle that kind of weird motion. So within it is a constant,

49:21Darin Olien:and then it allows for all of this, you know, kind of up and down or change.

49:26Gabby Reece:And Laird and I are so different this way. And that's why I think we're good for each other. If he can't have it different all the time in a certain way, he would, because for him, it's like, what is happening? But then, you know, you have kids, and then all of a sudden, you are taking people to school or you, you know, family dinner is important. So you, you turn them into rituals. You know, he used to take our youngest daughter to school over the hill. And he's like, I got to get it in when I can, because there, you know, she's gone. She's at NYU. You know, she asked me the other day, I mean, at some point, aren't you going to retire?

50:00Gabby Reece:And I go, and do what? Am I going to, what am I going to do? Am I going to worry about cleaning every corner of my house again.

50:08Darin Olien:Why do you think she asked you that?

50:10Gabby Reece:Because I think she's grown up in a house that feels like I was accused of never taking a trip unless somehow work was somewhere involved in it. And I was like, am I going by? I said to her, listen, if I had a nine to five job and I live for the weekends, 100 percent, you would need to take a vacation and just say, yo, unplug. I live on Kauai and in Malibu.

50:34Darin Olien:Yeah.

50:35Gabby Reece:Okay. Where am I going? I just look outside my window and go, thank you. Right. So I think it's for her, she might be in a framework of a little more of like in the box.

50:46Darin Olien:Yeah.

50:46Gabby Reece:And she's looking at us like we are lunatics. Right. You know, like, why would you make this so hard on yourself? And don't you want to just like hang out? And it's like, no, I want to do stuff. I want to work hard. I want to, you know, even the training. I trained yesterday. I felt so, it was the worst I've ever felt.

51:04Darin Olien:Really?

51:05Gabby Reece:Yeah, I was so tired. And I thought, oh, it's one of those days. But it literally was the worst I ever felt. And I thought.

51:13Darin Olien:The worst, worst.

51:13Gabby Reece:Yeah, like, you know what it felt like? It wasn't like, oh, I'm sore, I've got injuries. It was like a, it was almost like, oh, is this me now feeling? I don't know if you've ever experienced that where you're like, oh, shit, is this that thing that everybody talks about? And then when you say like something always changes, then you reframe it. So something has to, even if nothing is changing, how you view it has to change. And so that's, I think, the part for me that I'm always looking at like, hey, I can't really change what's going on, but I'm definitely going to change my approach. Right. Or how I'm, you know, my relationship to it or some of my own practices.

51:55Gabby Reece:I might turn a few dials and ramp a couple things up and ramp a few things down. And so I think within that, because that's our responsibility.

52:05Darin Olien:Yeah. Well, that's where the call it what you want, but the kingdom inside and learning who you are and listening with no other voice between you and the mystery of whatever that is. And I think both you and Laird have a very strong sense of that.

52:25Gabby Reece:Yeah, and sometimes I take it as a cue. I'm like, this isn't how I'm feeling. This is a cue. Something's off. Something's off with you. What do you need to change? Take a look. Be responsible. It doesn't mean I'll get it perfect and be like tomorrow, be like, I'm back. But I'll probably be further ahead. Right.

52:46Darin Olien:What are you, like now, what are you stoked about? What are you excited? It could be multiple things. But what's driving you today?

52:55Gabby Reece:Well, it's so interesting because people go, are you sad? Because the kids are gone. I'm like, by the way, it's not an empty nest. It's an open nest, especially this poor group now that has to go into the world. It's a harder place. For sure. Then when you and I fell into adulthood and it was like, oh, okay, we can get an apartment with a roommate. It was much easier. And it's also a really loud world. So for them to dial into, what's my voice? Who am I? Let me see if I can find my path. all that's just made harder. So I'm excited that I have now so much bandwidth and energy to focus. So I, of course, Laird Superfood is a priority because it is a really grown up business and doing well.

53:39Gabby Reece:And, and so that excites me. And I'm working on a project with some other women that I really appreciate, Dr. Gabrielle Lyon and Stacey Sims and Abby Smith Ryan and Amber Taylor. And so it was sort of like this idea, because I'm a team player, right? And Stacey Sims was like, you know, maybe we could do something together. So I think there's some opportunity. And talk about people think, oh, they'll think we had a lunch one day and then the next Wednesday we were rolling, this is already an 11 month conversation. And so I just like to also remind people that how do you find the fuel to have the endurance to do the things?

54:27Gabby Reece:And I think most of that stems from like, you really believe in it. And so what we said is a lot of the space in wellness is dominated by men, it makes sense. But could we do it through a female lens all of them are married all of them have children because i think working men have more in common with me than a guy who can have a three-hour ritual in the morning and a two-hour ritual at night so we're sort of have this conversation about sort of collectively coming together and doing it through a female lens but best-in-class information so that really excites me i love working with other people yeah quite frankly yeah because they're better at so many

55:09Darin Olien:other things and it's just cool to be a part of something well the the the number one i think the underrepresented female in the wellness space because so many studies are just male-based and we're starting to uncover that right now yeah and the openness that women have is massively different yeah so they they kind of move the needle of what's being purchased in the home more than like we're not just talking about the biohacking dude crowds right this is beyond that this is wellness this is information this is education women are just more open yeah and if there's a lane that can be filled to to to provide solid stuff i think it's i think it's a home run whatever it is yeah and i think it's i think i am i am such a believer in amplification

56:07Gabby Reece:I really think that instead of all of us in our many ways sort of ending up almost like sort of not competing but people have only so much time but sort of having these touch points where

56:17Darin Olien:everybody's still doing their own things but then we have these moments where we can come together

56:22Gabby Reece:and really help each other and I think it's with the idea of solution orientation not kibitzing not be like, it's so hard. Yeah, okay. It's hard. But it doesn't have to be that hard. If we had a couple answers, if we had a couple practices.

56:39Darin Olien:Gabby's not hanging out in that space.

56:41Gabby Reece:Well, none of those girls are, right? They're just like, what? And so I think that that part really excites me because what I really hope to do is inspire all people. Because now that, and I'm sure you can relate to this, now that I've been in the space of, let's call it wellness, health and fitness whatever you want to call it being a human being surviving whatever um what's your practice you know um and so i'm actually finishing a book i've wrote this is my third book and it's with the same woman i've done the other two karen carbo and it's so funny because i'm talking about everything there's not going to be like a bunch of suggestions about workout it's all i'm going to just beat it into everyone's head in every chapter i'll give them okay reference to people that i love how do you build a practice how do you build a community because we know for sure pretty much that's the only way to get it done right and so that's what i'm interested in because i'm like yeah yeah yeah all the data you know all the studies everybody knows everything what's your practice right and um and who's helping you because we can't do it

57:52Darin Olien:alone yeah well that's that's the discipline that's the those habits built with discipline help the resiliency when life's going to throw stuff and the delusion that people live in is it's going to be better when I'm over there it's going to be better when but the the the path of kind of going back to what you said before the building that up within helps you build your own strength and and power and knowledge of self um but then the steps that you're taking is also in terms of building all of that around you and the strength around you and the and the self-assuredness but that's the that's the only way it ever is anyway to accomplish what you want and this you know lottery mentality that we still have i think is is it's it's a apathetic challenge i think um and and if if everyone can understand that it isn't one pill that will get them there or it's one choice that it's many yeah that's right you know that's the and that's kind of like on one hand if you've lived in the dopamine like idea that i'm gonna win the lottery in some way uh it it can be a bummer in a certain sense because you go no you just gotta put your shoes

59:31Gabby Reece:on every day yeah and you gotta it's so true it's it you know i think all of this is still intertwined with our biology. We're set up to be lazy. It's totally normal. So I think once you can get a relationship with all of the things that are intertwined within us as normal biological traits and then put systems in place to override them when they don't serve us, I think that that's kind of the best way to go.

1:00:01Darin Olien:Maybe lay that out a little bit, As much as you want to say. What's your ritual? What's your systems that are the solidification of your days? What are the things that kind of you are just non-negotiables?

1:00:16Gabby Reece:Well, and I've always been that way, my training. You know, I've talked about this a little bit, but I do think it's important. So I'm me, you're you, right? But I'm also trying to still become. And so I keep that person in my mind in the morning. When I get up in the morning, I go, well, who is that person? And how would they start their day?

1:00:48Darin Olien:Meaning that kind of avatar of what? Yeah, and even here, the attitude.

1:00:53Gabby Reece:because sometimes my real attitude is antisocial, grumpy. I don't want to smile at anyone. I don't want to serve anyone. I just want to do my thing. And then I'm like, oh, no, she wouldn't do that. So I get up like a big girl and I go, I'll do those things. So I get prepared. I don't go downstairs until I feel ready to be her. and I spent some time with Laird. And then my training, even when I had very new little babies, was mine, even if it was 15 minutes. So that's been the grounding. When people go, what do you do for fun? I go, it's not about that. I have the luxury to have time to train. That's what I'm doing.

1:01:41Darin Olien:Yeah, and you've been a master at that for as long as I've known you.

1:01:45Gabby Reece:Yeah.

1:01:46Darin Olien:Thank you, Gabby.

1:01:48Gabby Reece:I really appreciate you so much. And I'm really excited for you. Because I've seen you have so many different iterations of what you're doing and spreading your knowledge and just helping people. I know you inspire a lot of people.

1:02:00Darin Olien:Oh, thank you. Well, you know, it's, again, it's never done, only forward. Yeah.

1:02:06Gabby Reece:I mean, what's the alternative? That's the thing. People go, no, no, no. I go, well, what's the alternative?

1:02:10Darin Olien:Yeah.

1:02:11Gabby Reece:So the other one seems better.

1:02:14Darin Olien:100%. And it's fun to learn. It's fun to grow. It's fun to see.

1:02:18Gabby Reece:Yeah.

1:02:19Darin Olien:Okay. Thank you. Appreciate you. Nice. Thank you.

1:02:25Gabby Reece:Awesome. I was going to let you guys know you had 10 minutes left.

1:02:28Darin Olien:Oh, I figured I didn't know.

1:02:29Gabby Reece:Did you want to pick any question up? I did cut you off about Mindy Peltz. What did you want to say about her? Oh, I was just saying. The directness?

1:02:37Darin Olien:The directness, but her new book that's coming out. Yeah, Age Like a Girl.

1:02:41Gabby Reece:The menopause thing. And I was like. Oh, yeah, I read it. It's great. It's like, holy shit. Well, and the opportunity.

1:02:46Darin Olien:Yeah. The opportunity. I don't know. like as a guy I'm not hanging out researching menopause

1:02:55Gabby Reece:however

1:02:57Darin Olien:when I read it and I'm sitting with her going culturally we're not doing anything it's horrible and the hormonal biological and chemical shift that the woman's having so that she can basically shift from gluing the entire family together making sure everyone else is okay. They're fourth on the list. But then understanding what the woman needs so that she can then sit in her wisdom and then contribute a different version of herself. That to me was just like, holy cow. If we would nurture that so that the wise woman can have a better seat at the table as opposed to, oh, this is strange. You know, this is challenging.

1:03:53Darin Olien:It is challenging because the family is going to be forever different because that person is different. There's a dying of that. So I just thought, and maybe it's representative of where you're at with the time in life and the kids leaving. And now, do you find that that is, you're still kind of more or less who you are, but at this stage in your life and for them going, you've got more bandwidth. Do you feel kind of that sense of, I don't know, the recapitulation of all you've learned to then go, oh, wow, now, because you've always been a wise, you know. Don't push it, Darren. Well, you have, you have.

1:04:46Darin Olien:And listen, we're all flawed. I mean. We all break things. But I'm more or less saying I'm excited for you in this stage of your life. And the fact that I'm just learning today that you're collaborating with other strong women And to then be an advocate for that in the world, I think, is exactly what Mindy was saying, in a sense.

1:05:16Gabby Reece:Well, and I think it's about what interests me is also living that way and representing that. And then I don't want to say not talking about it so much, but normalizing it. It was like when I was playing sports, it was like, oh, you can be strong and feminine. Okay, we don't have to talk about it. Just do the thing. And I think the other thing that would excite me is if women would embrace the value, not like, oh, my God, I have fine lines or lines and I'm getting older and young men don't look at me anymore, but going like, oh, what? Cool. This has value not only for myself, but for my family and and sort of seeing that as valuable as, you know, I'm the prettiest girl in the room.

1:06:02Darin Olien:Right.

1:06:02Gabby Reece:You move through that and your value becomes something else. And again, it goes back to I don't want to fight what is. So how do I embrace it and make it as fantastic and fun and adventurous and exciting, not only for me, but then for the people who I hang out with? It's going to be really also fun to watch. you know i talk a lot about male wisdom and i live with somebody who has a lot of male wisdom and the fact that he deals with three daughters and a wife i think it almost gets tuned up even more it's like do it or die kind of because we'll win for sure especially daughters to watch how layered also is grooving and changing with it too so i just my hope is like i want to be a good citizen and if uh you know it felt like hey this is something you could do to participate and contribute and and be a good example not only for my daughters first yeah but also from

1:07:08Darin Olien:if i have another 40 years i'd like to enjoy it yeah yeah yeah it's really it's it's it's really cool to kind of become aware of a certain dynamic and, and, and, and then hear what you're doing to participate in that and also go against this narrative of, of our really here in the United States, maybe a young culture, different kind of culture and travel. And you see that really quickly. and then to know yourself so well, to honor that. And like you said, don't necessarily talk about it. Let's just do it.

1:07:55Gabby Reece:Let's do it. And I'll say one last thing that feels super important to me.

1:08:02Gabby Reece:I think also that it's so important for young women to not be afraid. And what I mean by that is develop your strengths and your skills because if you develop a skill of any kind, I think it's really empowering. But you don't have to forego being loving and being of service in order to do that. It's not an either or proposition because the other side of that is to be loving and to be of service is really enriching. And so the other example, and I've been like, you know, men like you, like Laird and so many, I've been around so many incredible men that this idea of you know it's like this and you know it's like men and women it's like not exactly and when everybody is actually showing up with their best traits there's a lot of beauty and harmony in all of it and so the other part of that for me that feels important is like we we still have kindness and and love is still pretty great yeah still

1:09:07Darin Olien:should lead.

1:09:08Gabby Reece:I think so. Yeah.

1:09:11Darin Olien:Keep leading in that big heart of yours, Gav.

1:09:14Gabby Reece:I'm working on it. I'm working on it.

1:09:17Darin Olien:Love you. Love you. Thank you.