How to break down barriers and not accept limits | Candace Parker

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2:16you're listening to ted talks daily where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day i'm your host elise hugh do you play basketball it's the question former wnba player and activist candace parker gets just about everywhere she goes but she's sort of come to dread it because it tries to fold a whole person into a single word it's a feeling a lot of us know getting summed up or put in a box. And Candice has spent her life refusing to fit in one.

2:46Candace Parker: Barrier breaking is about not staying in your lane and not being something that the world expects you to be. It's about not accepting limitations. It starts with inspiration, and it's a foundation built upon picking apart what everybody thinks is the right way to do things. In her talk, Candice, a two-time NCAA champion, Olympic gold medalist, and WNBA champion, shares how she learned to break barriers from her childhood as the confident kid of the family to the moment she saw women who looked like her play professional basketball for the first time. The world had a way of just putting differences in a box and then getting mad when we had the audacity to not fit.

3:23Candace Parker: Just as an individual, you get mad at me for not fitting in the box that you made. She shares the most powerful lesson, as she calls it, that came from her own daughter. It's a single question that stopped Candice in her tracks and made her realize she'd been doing the very thing she'd fought against her whole life. That's coming up, but first, a quick word from today's sponsor, HSBC.

3:48Candice Parker shares what it takes to keep raising your sights, staying focused, thinking long-term, and being ready for the next level. That mindset goes far beyond the court. Whether you're growing a business, building your wealth, or planning the legacy you want to leave, progress often starts with backing your vision and making informed decisions with purpose. At HSBC, they know ambition needs a partner, one who can read the conditions, anticipate and act. It takes experience, judgment and trust. It's not about chasing every opportunity. It's about having the conviction to go after the right one.

4:21HSBC has navigated the world's changing landscape for more than 160 years. So when your moment arrives, HSBC is there with the insight, connections and support to help you move forward and connect you to what's next.

4:40And now, our TED Talk of the day.

4:43Candace Parker: You know, everywhere in the world, the question inevitably comes up, do you play basketball? From the neighbor across the street, hey, do you hoop? To the 5 '7 guy at TSA PreCheck that swore that he could beat me one-on-one.

5:08Candace Parker: I despise fitting into the lane or the mold that this question insinuates. But I reluctantly say yes. I am a two-time NCAA champion.

5:24Candace Parker: Thank you. A two-time gold medalist and a two-time... A two-time WNBA champion. But inside, I scream, I am so much more.

5:41Candace Parker: You see, barrier breaking is about not staying in your lane and not being something that the world expects you to be. It's about not accepting limitations. It starts with inspiration, and it's a foundation built upon picking apart what everybody thinks is the right way to do things. There are so many barrier breakers in here that are fighting so hard to unlock doors that they may never walk through. But they do it anyway, because we're standing on the shoulders of those that did it for us. It's an uphill battle, and it doesn't guarantee big wins or lots of success. And throughout that uphill battle, I think all of us look for hope, right?

6:22Candace Parker: We all look for optimism. And mine is my daughter and this next generation. You see, I get to be the mom to an amazing 12-year-old daughter. Yes, I know I'm partial. But she's pretty dope. I've been fortunate enough to travel the world with her while she allows her mom to fight for her dreams. We've played in Russia, and I say we because she really does think she's part of the team. We've played in Russia, Turkey, China. And throughout that journey, I thought I would be the one teaching her, challenging her, being the example for her. But I've realized it's a two-way street. You see, at three years old, I decided to enroll her in school in Russia.

7:10Candace Parker: I was like, I want her to have a normal life, right? I want her to be able to meet kids her age. So at three, she befriended this little girl. Her name was Masha. Masha didn't speak any English. Layla barely spoke Russian. But her parents invited us over to their house. And so we went. We went for this play date. So we knock on the door, and Masha's parents open the door so graciously and welcome us into their home. And we step forward, and I realize there's no floor. It's a modest home. It's one room with a couch on the side that pulls out into the bed that they sleep on. There's a wood fire oven in the middle that heats the room and that they cook with.

7:51Candace Parker: And at three years old, I was concerned. So I go to grab Layla, but I was too late. She looked in the corner and she said, a dollhouse. And Masha and Layla ran to the corner to play with the dollhouse. I'm so proud that that's my kid. And I can't say that I had much to do with that. She has a way of like uniting people, of finding commonality, of rolling with the punches, of making the best of situations. I've always wanted to uplift her because the messaging that I received from home was never shrink yourself to fit into this world. That you're enough, that everyone is enough, that you need to be individually you all the time.

8:31Candace Parker: I was fortunate to grow up in an environment with my parents and my two brothers who empowered me every single day. They told me I can do anything I set my mind to, so much so that my nickname was Can Do. And it was later extended by my brothers to Can Do Anything and get away with it. I was the baby of the family. Yes, I was the baby, and I didn't lack confidence. if I wasn't kicking the ball out of the recessed school parking lot in a dress to my mom's despise. Or high, high in the trees. I love to compete at everything, not just in sports either. This one time, my teacher in elementary school, he said, I want to know who can learn the helping verb song the fastest.

9:19Candace Parker: Is our dude as did was verb and as had had shall in we must can be should would want could being made it was. I loved to compete. I was that kid. I was that kid.

9:33Candace Parker: But what I loved so much was that I was allowed to be me. I was allowed to compete. I was allowed to speak my mind. My parents encouraged that. Just because you're a girl, you don't have to stay in a certain lane. And then something happened in 1997. The Women's Professional Basketball League started. The WNBA had its inaugural season when I was 11 years old, and I saw people that looked like me playing the game that I loved so much. I no longer had to go out in the driveway and try to dunk like Michael Jordan. I could go out and get buckets like Cynthia Cooper.

10:11Candace Parker: You see, my parents encouraged sports because sports in their eyes was a microcosm of life. You learn to win. You learn to lose. You learn to work through obstacles. You learn to get up when you don't want to. You learn to value differences because those are important. But as I ventured out into the world, I realized the world wasn't so uplifting towards differences, right? The world had a way of putting differences in a box. For instance, I received my girls' basketball uniform in middle school. It was old and smelly and tight. The boys got brand new ones. My brother worked his butt off to get into one of the most prestigious medical schools in the country.

10:55Candace Parker: My family was so proud. We heard the whispers. They said quotas. The world had a way of just putting differences in a box and then getting mad when we had the audacity to not fit. But just as an individual, you get mad at me for not fitting in the box that you made. There was a time that went by where I didn't want to say yes to the basketball question, because if I checked that box, then I checked all of their other assumptions, right? So competitive juices kicked in. I'll show you. I'll show you. I'm going to be the best. Girls can't dunk in a game, I'll dunk twice. You can't hold up an MVP trophy pregnant, okay, I'll show you.

11:39Candace Parker: You can't have a family, a career, and nurse your daughter. I came back nine weeks post-delivery in a plate in a game, and I nursed my daughter for 13 months.

11:52Candace Parker: You can't be on the cover of a video game. You can't do a TED Talk as an athlete.

12:02Candace Parker: But this entire time, my idea of breaking barriers was being something so that the world could see that it was possible. But breaking down barriers isn't always records. In 2020, I sat around the television because I knew this was a moment. I sat my daughter front and center. I said, Layla, watch this. The first African-American Asian vice president was being sworn in. This is a moment that you might not appreciate now, but in time you will. And as Kamala Harris was being sworn in, I said, Layla, now look at her. Now you can do that too. And Layla looked at me. She looked through my eyes and she said, why couldn't I before?

12:52Candace Parker: I had become what I despise the most in this world. I had put her in a box. Because you see, the story that the world told me was women aren't vice presidents. And I had assumed that that's what they had told my daughter. I'm telling you, Generation Z, my daughter's generation, they're changing the world. They're changing the world through conversation, through unity and through living as though boxes and barriers don't exist. It's no longer enough to just put your head down, get the job, accomplish the feat. We have to unite to come together to figure out why barriers are there in the first place.

13:30Candace Parker: And Generation Z is doing that. They're listening. They're seeing both sides. And they're uniting for causes that don't directly impact them. We have entire sports leagues that are standing up for what they believe in. It's no longer just one athlete. We have men that are fighting for women to receive equal play. We have white allies that are protesting racial inequalities. We are talking about mental health. And you know what's so special? My daughter the other week, a couple weeks ago, came up and handed me a list of stores that we're not allowed to shop at anymore. So I'm like, Layla, like another lesson, like already?

14:13Candace Parker: She's like, mom, we're not allowed to shop at these stores because they're not body positive and body conscious towards all shapes and sizes.

14:24Candace Parker: And you know what? I'm listening. I'll be honest and I'm learning and you should too, because my optimism lies in the next, that they will take our obstacles, our struggles, our insecurities, our challenges, and not see them as obstacles, but as opportunities. Or they may not even acknowledge them at all. I'm proud because Generation Z are proud, bold, and they're themselves. Because those that were told that they can't their entire life are having kids that are making us believe that we can. So go ahead. Ask me if I play basketball. And I'll proudly say yes. Because I realized I was the one putting basketball in a box all along.

15:16Candace Parker: Thank you so much for this opportunity. Thank you.

15:24That was Candace Parker at TED Women in 2021. This talk was originally published in January of 2022. If you're curious about TED's curation, find out more at ted.com slash curation guidelines. And that's it for today. TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective. This talk was fact-checked by the TED Research Team and produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, and Tonsika Sungmarnivong. This episode was mixed by Christopher Faze-Bogan. Additional support from Emma Taubner and Daniela Balarezo. I'm Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed.

16:00Thanks for listening.

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