The three words that saved my life | Blake Mycoskie

0:00A heads up before we begin, this episode includes discussion of suicide and depression. Please take care in deciding whether and when to listen.

0:10You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hu. On paper, Blake Mycoskie is a glowing success story. You may know him as the founder of Tom's Shoes, a company he started while living out of a few bags of clothes on a docked sailboat. and built into a global brand. He made more money than he ever imagined and gave away more than 100 million pairs of shoes. But unbeknownst to anyone else, even those closest to him, he was struggling. I had become so lost, so hopeless, and so depressed that I made a plan to end my life.

0:52In his talk, Blake shares the deeply personal, vulnerable story of how reaching out and telling his loved ones the truth saved his life. And the healing that followed showed him just how common that kind of pain really is and how much shame still keeps us from talking about it. When someone experiences anxiety or depression or a mental illness, we treat it like a shocking failure, like something went wrong. But think about physical illness. We expect colds. We expect broken bones. We plan for them. and we talk about them, but mental illness, we whisper, we isolate, we pretend that we are fine.

1:38And I'm telling you that silence is deadly. Having the space and safety to talk freely about his internal struggles allowed Blake to discover a core truth that reshaped how he sees himself. Now he's devoting his life to sharing that message. Your sense of worth is inherent, not something you have to earn. That's coming up right after a short break.

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4:43And now, our TED Talk of the day. When I started Tom's Shoes, I lived on a 45-foot sailboat in Marina del Rey. I didn't have much. A few bags of clothes, a bike, a surfboard, and a laptop. That was it. And those were some of the happiest years of my life. I woke up to the ocean rocking me. I made coffee barefoot. I felt clear, inspired, and alive. Now, let's fast forward 20 years. Tom's had become a global brand. Our one-for-one model had given over 100 million shoes to children in need around the world. And personally, I had made more money than I ever thought was possible. And yet, 23 months ago, I had become so lost, so hopeless, and so depressed that I made a plan to end my life.

5:58And I chose that boat as the place to do it on. not because I wanted to die there, but because I didn't want my family to be the ones who found me.

6:16Knowing that I was going to say that today here on the stage is definitely the hardest part of preparing for this talk.

6:30Thankfully, I did not act on that plan. Instead, I reached out to my friends and my family, and I told them the truth. Not that I was stressed. Not that I lost my purpose. I told them I wasn't okay. And that decision saved my life. I then met an incredible psychiatrist who helped me really slow down and understand how I got there. not just what I was feeling, but why. We then spent five months weaning me off four different medications I had been put on when I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. Five months. And during that time, the anxiety did not get better. It got worse. and the racing thoughts in my head almost became unbearable.

7:35But eventually my mind started to settle and something became impossible to ignore. There was a core wound underneath it all. A very, very old one. And it said this, you are not enough. the truth is, I had never felt that I was enough. Not as a kid, not as an athlete, not as a founder, not as a human. And when I looked honestly at my life, I saw something that was really painful. Everything I had done for the first 48 years was an attempt to earn my worth. Becoming a championship tennis player, starting multiple businesses, building Toms, and becoming the poster child of conscious capitalism. I mean, there were the magazine covers, the stages, just like this one, the awards and the accolades, because I believed that achievement would quiet that voice.

8:59Instead, it made it louder. And it got so loud inside my mind that I didn't want to be alive anymore. But one day, during a deep healing session with my therapist, something finally shifted. I began to see my life not as a success story, but as a strategy, a strategy to earn worth. And when that strategy failed, my whole world had collapsed. So my therapist suggested something one day that honestly sounded ridiculous at first. He said, Blake, for over 40 years, your mind has been telling you that you're not enough. So you are going to live with this limiting belief the rest of your life unless we reprogram your subconscious and rewire your neural pathways.

10:09So we made a commitment. For the next 40 days, I would wake up every morning, immediately sit up in bed, and repeat one sentence over and over again for 20 minutes with my eyes closed. I am enough. I've always been enough. And then before going to bed later that night, I would do it again. I am enough. I've always been enough. 20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes at night for 40 days. Now, the first few weeks honestly were brutal. 20 minutes felt like two hours. And the whole practice felt so trivial. After three weeks, I didn't feel any different, so I almost quit and changed therapist. But I was so damn desperate to feel better, and nothing else had worked, so I decided to stick with it.

11:31and on the 28th day around there i was sitting up in bed saying the words and all of a sudden i felt almost like an electric shock go through my body and a lightness and a peace i had never felt and what had been a generic mantra for the past couple weeks actually felt true I am enough, and I always have been. Not because of what I've done, not because of what I've built, and definitely not because of what the world thinks of me, but just because I exist. Thank you.

12:12And when that stopped being something that day that I said out loud and something I felt in my body, everything changed. I simplified my life again. I stripped away the noise, and I stopped performing. And I realized this, if I could spend decades trying to earn my worth, and if I could almost lose my life trying to earn it, then this wound is everywhere, and no one is immune to it. Right now, when someone experiences anxiety or depression or a mental illness, we treat it like a shocking failure, like something went wrong. But think about physical illness. We expect it. We expect colds. We expect broken bones.

13:16We plan for them. We talk about them. But mental illness, we whisper. We isolate. We pretend that we are fine. And I'm telling you that silence is deadly. I almost became part of a statistic, not because I was weak, but because I was too ashamed to tell my friends how I was really doing. Today, I'd like to ask everyone here two questions. Please raise your hand if you have ever broken a bone. Thank you. So it looks like about 40 % of the room, which is interesting because that's what my dad said, who's actually an orthopedic surgeon, said it would be. So he got that one right. A harder question now.

14:15If you've ever been diagnosed with severe anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or a mental health condition, would you please raise your hand? Thank you for your bravery. notice a lot fewer hands went up. But according to the U.S. Department of Health, we should have seen about the same number of hands for both questions. In fact, 50 percent of all people will be diagnosed with a mental health condition during their lifetime. So why do we plan for one and are ashamed of the other? What if we expected mental illness the same way we expect physical illness? When you expect it, you're less ashamed when it arrives.

15:13You reach out sooner. You get help faster. And fewer people die. This is not abstract. The research is absolutely clear. talking about how you're really doing with at least one person greatly reduces suicide risk. Silence does not protect us. It isolates us. Shame creates silence. Silence creates isolation. Isolation creates risk. I know because I lived that chain reaction. And now, I'm dedicating my life and my resources to starting a new chain. It's called the We Are Enough Giving Chain. It started with me creating a simple beaded bracelet to wear every single day as a reminder to myself that I am enough.

16:26but then I realized something. The real power of this bracelet was not wearing it myself. It was sharing it with someone I love so that they would know every day that I got their back, that they're not alone, that we are all enough. And today, the way it works is simple. every person that is given an enough bracelet, we ask them to send it to just one more person. Now, I'd like to ask you to do something with me real quickly. Please close your eyes, and I'd like you to think of the one person in your life right now that could use this message, or think of the one person in your life that has always made you feel enough.

17:23Okay, open your eyes. I ask that you take 60 seconds and send one to that person. Because if we all take this simple task and wear these bracelets, I believe we will see a reduction in suicides and an improvement in our collective mental health. And here's why. When you do not feel enough, you are constantly living in the past, obsessing over the mistakes that you've made and the shame and the guilt you carry because of them. And also, when you do not feel enough, and very much like me, you're constantly living in the future, thinking, what can I do, achieve, or obtain to finally feel enough? But when you start your day and you ground your day in the fact that you are already enough just as you are, you get to live in the present.

18:23And almost every spiritual teacher throughout all of history agrees on only one thing, and that is the only place we can access peace and joy consistently is in the present moment. Now, when you wear this bracelet, you are helping to destigmatize mental health. But I would say it's much more personal than that. When you wear this bracelet, you're sending a signal. A signal to those around you that says, you can talk to me. You can tell me how you're really doing. And just that is proven to save lives. Now, my vision is not just about a bracelet. It's about a world where we stop hiding. It's about a world where we expect mental illness and respond in care instead of shame.

19:28And it's about a world where we tell each other how we're really doing. Because honest conversation saves lives. I'm here today because I reached out. I'm also here because someone listened. And I'm so, so thankful to be here today to share this with you.

19:59you are not broken. You are not weak. You are not alone. You are enough. And you always will be. Thank you. Thank you.

20:23That was Blake Mykoski speaking at TED 2026. If you or someone you know is struggling, please see the resources we have included in the show notes. You are not alone. If you're curious about TED's curation, visit ted.com slash curation guidelines. And that's it for today. TED Talks Daily is a podcast from TED. This episode was fact-checked by the TED Research Team and produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Lucy Little, Emma Taubner, and Tansika Sungmarnivong. Additional support from Daniela Ballarezzo, Christopher Faze-Bogan, Valentina Bohanini, Banban Chang, Brian Green, and Lainey Lott.

21:04Learn more at podcasts.ted.com. I am Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feet. Thanks for listening.

21:21This episode is sponsored by Ashby. Every talk you hear on this show started as an idea, and every idea that actually gets built needs a team. Today's sponsor, Ashby, is the software that supports hiring for those ambitious teams. Ashby is the all-in-one recruiting platform used by the teams at Lovable, Notion, Plaid, and Clay. If you wish that AI could help you move faster through scheduling and scorecards, that you could find that silver medalist candidate from 18 months ago in a few seconds, or that you had better visibility into the state of your candidate pipeline, Ashby is for you. See why over 80 % of Forbes' top AI companies choose Ashby to hire the best talent.

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