Embrace your main character energy with Natasha Rothwell | On the Spot

0:06You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hugh. Writer and actor Natasha Rothwell is a name and face you're probably familiar with. She has star turns on hit TV shows like White Lotus and Insecure. And in 2024, she took the TED stage for a new format that we call On the Spot, where she had to answer quick questions and give advice all extemporaneously. It's a whole lot of fun, and you can probably imagine this, but Natasha, of course, sparkled. Enjoy.

0:44Well, I'm quite excited for this format. I'm going to ring this here bell. Some questions will pop up. I'll repeat them, and we'll see what happens. I cut my teeth in improv, so hopefully that pays off. All righty. What ignites your creativity? I would have to say, for me, I have kind of an insatiable, if not annoying, curiosity about the human condition. I want to know why I am the way that I am. Why are you the way that you are? But I think when I write, create, direct, produce, I want to do things that people connect to and make them feel less alone. What does TV need more of? Representation.

1:30Representation. I remember growing up and the gymnastics, the mental gymnastics I would have to do to project myself on the protagonist. I mean, Simone Biles could never. And the power of representation is exampled by me being here right now. Part of the reason why I'm here is because of the show Give Me a Break. Clap if you remember. Okay? It starred Nell Carter, and Nell Carter was a plus-size, black, fatty, baddie who was unapologetic about taking up space. and she taught me that I, too, could be a black fatty baddie and take up space. And that's an idea I didn't necessarily know I could latch onto because I didn't see main characters that looked like me, and so I never tapped into that main character energy until I saw her.

2:26Ooh, describe your first pinch-me moment. I've had several. Ten years ago, I worked for Saturday Night Live, and my very first Saturday there, I went down from the writer's room and I watched the ending credits on the floor at Studio 8H. And when you're down there, you see the cast on stage clapping, the band is playing, and what you may or may not know is to the left and right of the screen, there are monitors and we get to see what you guys see at home. And I saw the credits going and you see the word writers and then you see all of the writers' names cycling under the word writers. And I saw my name.

3:11And it was mind-blowing. You know, I was definitely, like, starstruck in that moment that my name was there and I was there as well. But it was like an aha moment because I had never called myself a writer. And I don't know when it happened, but somewhere along the way, I told myself that I can't call myself a writer until someone else calls me a writer, and I'd given away that power. And it was from that moment on I realized I know I had ambitions to direct and to act on the screen and to be on Broadway and all these things. I wasn't going to wait to have someone else give me that identity because just because your paycheck doesn't match your ambition doesn't mean you aren't those things.

4:03Ooh, the best job advice I've ever gotten. Be prolific, not perfect. Changed my life. Ooh, lightning round, okay. A night in or a night out, I'm going to say a night in. My favorite thing in the world is to be canceled on. Make a plan with me. Make a plan with me and text me like 30 minutes before and say, nah, we can't do it. You'd be my best friend. Too hot or too cold? I'm going to say I'd rather be too cold because there's only so naked I can get in public before it becomes a problem. Winning the lottery or finding your soulmate? I'm going to say winning the lottery. Because, listen, my soulmate's going to find me, okay?

4:58Caesar salad or chicken parm? both. I'm a Libra, can't choose. Waiting in line for merch or seeing the opener. I'm seeing the opener, okay? I'm a military brat, so being on time is late. Being early is on time, so I'm seeing the opener with my merch.

5:19Time travel to the past or time travel to the future. To the future, okay? I have anxiety. This would absolutely mitigate my need for beta blockers. Die alone or die lonely. Die alone. Die alone. So I wrote a show about dying alone, and that came about because for the better part of my life, I grew up thinking that was the worst thing possible. and what I came to realize was as I got older and my friends got married and were in partnerships a lot of them were lonely and that was hard to watch and I realized that I had spent the better part of my life again thanks to seeing them in a lot of therapy that loneliness was actually the the thing to be afraid of and so the show and my life since having that awakening has been spent finding the antidote to loneliness.

6:24And for me, that is vulnerability and allowing myself to have connections. What are we getting wrong about love? I was guilty of this. I often prioritize and valued romantic love over all other types of love. Truly. It was that golden ring that I was going for. And what that did, it blinded me to the love that was in my life. The vast amount of love in my life. Platonic, familial, because I thought, you know, that's not the good stuff. I want that. And I think, for me anyway, bringing romantic love in line with all the other kinds of love that exist within the world and within my life, it opened up my eyes.

7:20And I realized that, you know, my life was lousy with love. I couldn't turn and throw a stone without seeing the vast amount of love in my life. And I think that also allowed me to see romantic love for what it is. It's not the key to my happiness. It's icing.

7:41What does it mean to love yourself? Oh, boy. Okay, loving myself is a practice. And a practice is inherently imperfect. And I'm a recovering perfectionist, so I love that. So for me, my self-love practice has to have its roots in grace. because it is imperfect, and I'm not going to get it right all the time, but I have to love myself through loving myself. What's the best thing someone can put on their dating profile? Must be in therapy.

8:26That's real. What's blown your mind recently? Oh, boy. Okay, I'm going to share it. I'm going to share it. I was debating. About a month ago, I had my mind blown pretty massively. I found out that I'm ADHD. And I know what you're probably thinking. You're like, oh, man, everybody's suddenly ADHD. By and large, it's a lot of women and women of color because we often go undiagnosed. And a lot of those women who had gone undiagnosed are posting on TikTok and I'm watching it. And I already knew that I was like a little neuro spicy.

9:11But I didn't know how much until I started watching these TikToks and I was identifying, you know, post after post after post. And so I went to three different doctors to get my diagnosis. And, you know, PSA, you don't need to go to three different doctors, but I was resisting that diagnosis heavy, heavy. I didn't want it to be true. And I didn't want it to be true for a couple of reasons. One, I would have to look back at my life as, you know, in elementary school and middle school, high school and college, and remember those moments of acute pain where I was struggling, struggling so hard to be what I thought I was supposed to be in a particular moment.

10:00when I couldn't focus, when I was chasing dopamine instead of reading my books, when I struggled to power through a day because I couldn't sleep the night before. And that's sad. When you look back and you see all of those moments that probably could have been remedied had I known. And the other reason why I think it's also, it was hard for me to accept the diagnosis, I think it kind of, it necessitates pencils down. You guys know the concept of pencils down when you're taking a test in school and the teacher's like, pencils down, you're done? So that meant I had to look at myself as whole, as I don't need to change those things about me that were already innate that I tried to change my whole life.

10:52I just had to hold on to it. I had to hold on to it and support it and love it. And so the pencil's down. That's hard for a perfectionist, especially a writer, because I want to edit. And so it was a powerful thing and a painful thing, but it blew my mind to smithereens.

11:12Ooh, what would you tell your 20-year-old you? You got ADHD!

11:20girl you got ADHD no but for real I would also tell her you are enough more than enough and you are going to meet and hug Idris Elba

11:46that's my time guys thank you so much

11:54that was actor writer and producer Natasha Rothwell at TED Next in 2024 if you're curious about TED's curation find out more at ted.com slash curation guidelines and that's it for today's show TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective This episode was produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, Alejandra Salazar, and Tonsika Sarmarivon. It was mixed by Christopher Faze-Bogan. Additional support from Emma Taubner and Daniela Ballarezzo. I'm Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed. Thanks for listening.