Talks to Motivate You Playlist (8/10): How to discover your authentic self — at any age | Bevy Smith

0:03Hey, everyone. You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hu. Welcome back to our first podcast playlist of 2026. Today, we have dropped 10 talks from our archive onto the feed all at once to motivate you, to keep you going when things are hard, to inspire you as the weather shifts, to help kickstart that new project or idea, or to help you to make it happen. if things are feeling good for you right now, just to offer a different perspective. Whatever type of motivation you might need, we have a TED Talk for that. Next up is a hilarious and profound treat from pop culture queen, Bevy Smith.

0:44Our culture loves to celebrate youth, but Bevy blew up her comfortable life while she was young, which taught her an optimistic lesson. Things can get better for us later in life. In her 2022 talk packed with wry wisdom, she encourages late blooming by embracing authenticity at any age, urging people to stop settling and instead excavate their true selves, shifting from a curated persona to a more vulnerable, messy life. She shares hard-earned lessons about authenticity, confidence, mature success, and why, if you put in the work, as she puts it, life only gets greater later. Coming up after a break.

1:26Today's episode is sponsored by NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast. Navigating your finances can be stressful, and sometimes you just need some advice from someone you can trust. Imagine if you could have that one money-savvy friend on demand for the moments when you just need a little guidance before making a big decision. NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast can be like that friend. Their team of trusted journalists breaks down financial decisions to give you research-backed insights and clear pros and cons, whether you're planning a big purchase or just want to grow your wealth. They explain the why behind tricky decisions like investing, home buying, and choosing the best credit cards, all while keeping it engaging and humorous.

2:05This podcast cuts through the jargon and misinformation that's so often wrapped up with financial advice to get to the clear, research-backed answers you're looking for. Make your next financial move with confidence. Follow NerdWallet's Smart Money Podcast on your favorite podcast app.

2:43an impressive skyscraper climb in Taipei, now turning his attention to protecting the only planet we've got. What makes this show stand out is the people. You'll hear from scientists, explorers, and storytellers who are actually building a better future and making it feel tangible, human, and possible. One conversation features coral restoration leader Tituan Burnacote, along with legendary oceanographer Sylvia Earle, sharing what it really takes to restore our oceans. In partnership with the Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative, this is Planet Visionaries. Listen or watch on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you're listening to this podcast.

3:25This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything, like a slice of pizza from your local pizza place or a latte from the Corner Coffee Shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval, Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA, Salt Lake City Branch. Terms and more at applecard.com.

4:00And now our TED Talk of the day. I am a late bloomer. In fact, a friend of mine you may have heard of, Chris Rock, he once called me the most late-blooming mofo he'd ever met. Now, some people might consider that snide, but I revel in it. I'm 55, and I'm here in this curvy body as someone who has done the work, lived the life, walked the walk in these very high heels, and therefore is qualified to testify in a church and in a court of law that it does, in fact, get greater later.

4:47Now, coming to this realization wasn't easy. At the age of 38, I was a very successful fashion advertising executive, and I was really living what most people considered a dream life. I was jet-setting the fashion shows. I was receiving free designer clothes. I was double kissing my way across the globe. I was. And, you know, it was everything that I ever wanted it to be. And then one day I realized I was only pretending to be happy. But I couldn't blow up my good life in my prime earning years, right? Wrong. Which leads me to lessons my mother Lolly taught me. Lolly's number one lesson, don't settle.

5:31don't settle. Now, I'm aware that my well-paying, glamorous career is not exactly the humdrum, I hate my job stereotype that most people equate with settling, but it was a settle for me. Because when I actually did quit my job at the age of 38, it was with the intention that every day be a great adventure. Now, sometimes it was a very scary adventure, like being broke from the age of 40 to 45. But even still, I wouldn't trade that for the safe and settled version because if I had, I would not be here with y 'all today. Yeah. So you know how when you like buck the system and go against the status quo, it makes people really uncomfortable.

6:16And invariably, people will ask, where do you get your confidence?

6:24Now, some people mean it as a compliment, but very often it's shady. And it's a silent judgment. And to those people, I respond with a quote from this Brooklyn poet you may have heard of, Jay-Z. She get it from her mama. I am she and my mama is the epitome of a grown-ass woman. someone who has always been very comfortable in her skin. In 1965, my mom was 37 years old. She already had one child, my big brother, Jerry. And she married my dad, but she kept her maiden name. And then she had my sister Stephanie and I back to back. But she continued to work because she refused to be beholden to my dad for money.

7:11And I bet my mom was the only woman in our neighborhood who cooked once a week. She made Sunday dinner. It was an extravaganza, but that's all she did. She cooked one day a week. My mom is just amazing. And she also had this ability of talking to her children about real life and making sure that we understood the virtues of going your own way, which is why I believe today at the age of 94 and a recent widow, my mom is still carving out ways to find and determine and define her own version of happiness. She cooks for herself. She maintains her home exactly as she sees fit. She enjoys champagne and R-rated films.

8:01My mom has managed to maintain her glamour, her sex appeal, you know, her independence. And I really hope some of that rubs off on me. You know, recently, I've been thinking about one of the best lessons that my mom ever taught me, which is the literal beauty in aging. Now, we all know that black don't crack, right? Okay. Black don't crack. So at the age of 50, my mom could have easily passed for the age of 35. And, you know, that's back during the time when people, women were really coy about the age. Oh, a lady never tells her age. My mom never subscribed to that. She was always proud of her age.

8:44As a matter of fact, she believes you may not tell your age, but your hands and your neck will. So make peace with aging or prepare for an entire wardrobe of gloves and turtlenecks.

9:03Yeah, my mom has always done these wonderful things like that, but I wish she could rub off on everyone because I feel like now I'm looking at even 20-somethings who have a fear of aging. I watch them on social media, like, you know, compulsively practicing the latest 10-second dance craze. And it feels like they're angst and asking, is that all there is? And I just want to yell, yes, that is all there is, if all you're going to do is settle for dancing to someone else's TikTok beat.

9:36Settling is very insidious. It keeps us dancing on this string, waiting for this elusive better day to miraculously appear. Now, thanks to Lali's tutelage, that's not my story. In fact, I take each day as it comes, but I try and make it better than the last. So, you know, I'm single, but I'm always ready to mingle. I'm an entrepreneur, but I keep multiple revenue streams. I'm a solo traveler, which means I've done the sepia version of Eat, Pray, Love on six continents. Because I don't settle, what that means is that I also don't second-guess my decisions. And I'm also not worried about my future because I'm firmly rooted in the present.

10:27Settling is a really sinister thing. It will keep you up at night, tossing and turning, trying to figure out why. and trying to answer that age-old question of, is that all there is? Personally, I don't have time for that because the only time I want to be kept up all night long, tossing and turning, is when I'm in the company of a fine-ass man.

10:49That's it. I wish I could tell you guys that I learned all these valuable lessons from Lolly and they were instilled in me and it was great. But alas, I am a late bloomer in all regards, So I had to learn a couple of lessons from the era of bitchy bevy. What kind of person has 10 assistants in five years? Bitchy bevy, that's who. Now, I didn't start out my career with a toxic attitude. No, initially, I was really happy to be in the fashion industry. You know, but then I began to compare my trajectory to others. and I also began to feel burned out because I was burdened by these personas that I had created that were allegedly going to help me progress in my career.

11:36I made a couple of mistakes. One, I thought that being snarky was a good career move. It wasn't. I also thought I looked good in the color brown. I actually don't. Yeah.

11:50In my dream montage, I wanted to get away from bitchy bevy. I wanted to get away from the color brown. And so in the movie version of my life, as soon as I quit my job, I'm a yoga guru. I'm extremely limber and very happy. Come to think of it, though, guys, I'm actually limber and happy right now. But I would be lying, and I believe it is against international law to lie during a TED Talk. So I'm not going to do that. And as a matter of fact, my insecurities popped back up as late as last year. I was minding my business, as one does, perusing social media, and I saw people excelling in a space where I, you know, traditionally had a lot of success.

12:35So I'm looking at it, and I'm like, well, why the hell they didn't call me for that job? And I have this, like, angst. And then I realize they didn't call me for that job because you already said you didn't want that job. You told the universe you weren't into working like that. You don't want a job. I really don't. I'm not into it. So that's why it happened. And what I realized is that intellectually, I had grown and evolved, but emotionally, I was Tom Petty and I was living in Petticoat Junction. I told y 'all that ground doesn't look good on me. Petty looks even worse. It's not my shade. And so what I wound up having to do was really get a grip.

13:24I had to assess a few things about myself, and I decided to do a little self-help ritual called take a note, give a note. And it's easy. When you see someone having something that you believe you deserve, you take a note. You ask yourself a few questions. Is it something that you really want? Perhaps that person is better suited than you are for that. Is the universe conspiring for you to have that? Really kind of try and be honest with who you are and where you're at in life. Once you do that, you take a deep breath and you say, their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness. And then you're ready to give a note.

14:02You go on social media and you say, congratulations. Or my personal favorite, you pick up the phone like it's the 20th century and you say, congratulations, kudos, you did that, Al, you go, girl. You do all the things. instantly you feel like a better human being because you have actually extended grace. You've extended grace. You've extended grace to someone else. And I believe that when you remove malice from your heart, not only do you feel better, you look better. I think you lose your frown lines and your wrinkles lessen and your age spots disappear. I believe it's better than Botox extending grace.

14:44I do.

14:48Yeah. No, but let me get back to the note thing. So one of my favorite notes is from Willie Shakespeare. To thine own self be true. Now, we've all read self-help books, and the first line of defense is always, be your most authentic self. And I believe in that. I believe that nobody can be you but you. So you might as well show up and show out. But here's the quandary that the bard never put forth. What if you don't really know who you are because you have suppressed your inner self? You've suppressed the core of you. You've suppressed the best parts of you because you took on these other identities and these personas in an effort to make your life better.

15:34Because you know, we all buy into some things about what we're supposed to be doing and who we're supposed to be. So what if you squelch that? Because I know I had to excavate to dig up Little Brown Bevy. But the way I found it was through three questions. Who am I at my core? How am I being perceived? How would I like to be perceived? Who am I at my core? At my core, I'm looking to authentically connect with people. I don't like a cursory, you know, interaction. And I do not believe in networking. I like an authentic connection. I'm also curious and I'm adventurous and I'm kind. And I've got big dreams.

16:10How am I being perceived? Well, y 'all know the nickname, Bitchy Bevy. So duh. But here's the problem. There's a lot of power in that persona. And I actually really enjoyed it for a time, you know. Because you can make a lot of money being a bitch, especially in fashion. But it's also incredibly lonely and isolating. And I didn't want to live that life anymore. And so I decided to change my life. And I left all of that alone. I really did, like, just change my spirit. And leaving fashion obviously helped. And when I did that, all of a sudden, I let Lil' Brown Bevy out to play. Lil' Brown Bevy.

16:54I love her so much. Lil' Brown Bevy is a nerdy girl. And so I let my nerdy pursuits come out to play. I must have joined every museum or museum mile in New York City. I began to travel the world just to look at architecture I'd always dreamed of. I learned how to be alone without being lonely. My spirit shifted. I became a better person. You can ask people. I became a better person. And now I get to stand here in front of you guys with no bravado, with nothing to prove. I tell you, with nothing to prove. I'm not trying to prove nothing to y 'all.

17:33Thank you. I have an open heart. And I can't even believe that little Brown Bevy from 150th Street and 8th Avenue from the hamlet of Harlem is now an award-winning radio and TV host, an author, an actress, a creative consultant. I would do all those things for free. But here's the thing. I ain't cheap and I'm definitely not free, so don't get any ideas.

18:05But I am here in this Mama I Made It moment as someone who can show up as her most beviest self because I've done the work. Yeah, my most beviest self. You know that I'm going to show up and I've got a pep in my high heel, red bottom step. I do have heaving cleavage. And I've got to tell it like it is, approach to life that's always dosed with a ladle of love. It took me 55 years to get here. So Chris Rock, you're right. I'm a late bloomer. And that's okay. Because I'm right on time. Because it gets greater later. Thank you.

18:59That was Bevy Smith at TED 2022. And this talk was originally published in May of that year. Thanks for listening to our TED Talks Daily playlist, 10 Talks to Motivate You. We've got many more talks that can motivate you. So if you have the time, head on over to TED.com slash playlists to check out more curated playlists on a variety of topics. And that's it for today. TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective. This talk was fact-checked by the TED Research Team and produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, and Tonsika Sungmarnivong.

19:36Additional support from Emma Taubner and Daniela Ballarezo. I'm Elise Hugh. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed. Thanks for listening.

19:56Bevy Smith: With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends, it's pretty much all he talks about. In a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com slash bank. Capital One N.A. Member FDIC. You have the vision for your business. You have the plan. And you just got handed a huge opportunity. But is your business connectivity reliable enough to make a move?

20:35Bevy Smith: Spectrum Business delivers fast, reliable internet, phone, TV, and mobile services, so you're always connected when it matters most. Get connectivity packages built for your business, with savings that keep your budget in check. And with fast, reliable internet, and 100 % U.S.-based customer support, you'll stay connected and ready to bring your vision to life. Learn more at spectrum.com slash business. Restrictions apply. Services not available in all areas. Hey, it's Paige from Giggly Squad. you already know once I'm in my jammies, I'm in my final form. And lately, my last step before fully clocking out is the CoverGirl Jammie Lip Sleeping Mask.

21:14I just twist, apply with the mess-free applicator and let the dreamy lavender scent literally tuck me in. By morning, my lips feel smooth, revitalized, and baby soft while I'm doing absolutely nothing. Iconic behavior. So shop CoverGirl Jammie Lip Sleeping Mask at your nearest retailer now. only from Easy Breezy Beautiful CoverGirl.