The sneaky language tricks cults use to influence you | Amanda Montell

0:03Amanda Montell: You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hu. Writer, linguist, and podcaster Amanda Montell says we are living through the cultiest era on record. As the hardwired cognitive biases that helped early humans survive rush up against social media and digital communication.

0:24Elise Hu: Studies show that social media has damaged our mental health and our attention spans, all the while making cult-ish leaders mega accessible. Who needs compounds when you have comment sections?

0:35Amanda Montell: She exposes three sneaky language tactics that cults use to influence us, for better or for worse, revealing why none of us are as cult-proof as we'd like to think. And stick around. After the talk, Amanda and I got together to go beyond her talk to discuss what led her to the study of cults, the role of AI in these cultier times, and what to do if we think someone we know and love may be in a cult. That's all coming up right after a short break from our sponsors.

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4:17Amanda Montell: And now, our TED Talk of the day.

4:20Elise Hu: Hi, everyone. Or shall I say, greetings, followers. And settle in. because I'm about to share with you a true story about one of the most zealous cults in the world. This story takes place on the group's holiest day. Acolytes arrived at dawn, some having crossed oceans and sacrificed life savings in order to get there. They came bearing hand-beated offerings inscribed with sacred numbers, 22, 13, 89. But this, my friends, is not the story of an apocalyptic sect on a faraway compound. No, this was a Taylor Swift concert. I said it. The talismans are friendship bracelets, the biblical books are known as eras, and the charismatic leader is a billionaire pop priestess who, let's be honest, could probably rule the free world if she really wanted to.

5:18Elise Hu: Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a deep-dyed red album girly. I'm not here to call out Swifties' cult followers. No, I wouldn't dare. But I'm an author and a cultural commentator with a background in linguistics. And I'm here to share how we're all susceptible to cult-ish thinking, for better and for worse. And our everyday vocabularies are evidence of our devotion. I'm here to share what to pay attention to, what to listen for, so that as we move through these inevitably cult-y times, we can stay both enchanted and empowered. Now, my fascination with cults is personal. That's because of my dad. As a teenager, he was forced to join Synanon, a 70s California compound with matching overalls and a traumatizing truth-telling ritual called the game.

6:10Elise Hu: But my dad escaped, became a neuroscientist, and brought up a nosy kid who became obsessed with understanding how to identify cult-ish influence in everyday life. As I got older, I couldn't help but notice that the same language tactics that my dad described in Synanon could be found kind of everywhere, like in my high school theater program and in the wellness industry and on my social media feed. That's how I came to study the cultish spectrum, degrees of influence, none of which start out with LSD and robes, but instead, sneakily, with words. I want to point out three cultish language tactics to listen for in everyday life.

6:54Elise Hu: The first is called the thought-terminating cliché. Coined in 1961 by the psychiatrist Robert J. Lifton, thought-terminating clichés are zingy-stack expressions that are easy to memorize, easy to repeat, and aimed at shutting down independent thinking and questioning. So let's say you're a member of a group, and there's a rule that you want to push back against. You might get hit with a phrase like, trust the process or it's all in God's plan to shut you down. In Synanon, the phrase act as if effectively meant pretend that you believe until you do. Today, in conspiracy theory type groups, the phrase do your research basically means stop asking me about mine.

7:35Elise Hu: Next, I want to talk about us versus them labels. In Synanon, defectors were called splittees. Today, you've got your sheeple, your NPCs, your industry plants. When a label makes all of those people seem unilaterally evil and us superior, that's a red flag. And thirdly, I want to mention loaded language, corporate synergistic visionaries, wellness, 5D consciousness. At first, emotionally charged buzzwords like this feel like enlightenment. Then one day you wake up and you realize you've completely surrendered your ability to talk and think for yourself. This language works because it plugs straight into our cognitive biases, these deeply ingrained decision-making shortcuts that developed in earlier human brains to help us process information from the world around us enough to survive it.

8:24Elise Hu: But today, mental magic tricks like confirmation bias, the sunk cost fallacy, and the halo effect cause us to believe only the information we already agree with, double down on sketchy choices, and worship mortal human beings we've never even met as all-knowing deities. This clash between our once-useful cognitive biases and the information age is this phenomenon that I've been calling magical overthinking. And it's a problem, because studies show that social media has damaged our mental health and our attention spans, all the while making cult-ish leaders mega-accessible. Who needs compounds when you have comment sections?

9:05Elise Hu: Now, I don't say this to freak anyone out. I'm just here to point out the difference between awe and indoctrination. And I want to leave us with a few tips to help us do that. First of all, when you find yourself in a space, even a digital one, where you feel really emotionally activated and you're using a lot of buzzwords that make you feel like you're part of a tribe, but you can't really define exactly what you're saying in plain English or why, that's a sign to take a step back and consult other sources. Next, pay attention to exit costs. Healthy groups might make leaving feel awkward, but never apocalyptic or earth-shattering.

9:42Elise Hu: And finally, we can use cult language for good. Rousing chants, rhyming mantras, they can be used to make true information catchy, too. I'm not here to take away anyone's friendship bracelets. We need community more now than ever. So I think living in this cultiest era of all time The goal is not so much to be cult-proof, it's to be cult-literate. You follow? Thank you.

10:17Amanda Montell: Don't go away just yet. My conversation with Amanda Montel is coming up right after a short break.

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12:09Amanda Montell: Amanda, congratulations on your talk. Oh, thank you. How do you think your work has evolved through three books and now with your TED Talk?

12:19Elise Hu: Oh, wow. Well, with my first book, I was just shocked and delighted that my career was taking off or was getting anywhere at all. And so I would say at that point, my career was just in a state of imposter syndrome and flailing, but also incredible enthusiasm to share subjects that may seem kind of niche, but had always felt really fascinating and also culturally urgent to me with an audience. And as the years have gone on, I think I've become a little more confident in my voice and more broadly curious and have widened my scope from this kind of hyper-specific subject of language and gender to other questions of how language, power, society, pop culture, all these different phenomena that really pique my curiosity interact with one another.

13:19Okay.

13:20Amanda Montell: Well, let's dig into your talk because you share in your talk a little bit about your dad's past and how he was in a cult when he was a teen before he managed to escape. And clearly that story had a huge influence on you. So what sorts of conversations did you have with him growing up about this?

13:38Elise Hu: Well, yeah, to set some context, my dad grew up in a cult called Synanon, which was really at its peak during the 1970s and started out as an alternative drug rehabilitation center turned pretty abusive compound. And I grew up on my dad's stories. And, you know, my dad, he's the most darling man ever. I mean, he's like such a goofball. I think he definitely meets that kind of stereotype of the like sort of absent-minded professor, like endearingly so. And so, you know, he's not someone who lives in the past or dwells on his traumas. You know, he's like this optimist type and really gregarious.

14:24Elise Hu: gregarious. And I don't think he'd really, you know, revisited his childhood and his cult stories much until he had this really nosy little daughter who is constantly begging him to tell me a story from your life, not a made up story, not a fairy tale. Like, I want to hear a real true story. And just to kind of, you know, entertain his kid, he drudged up some of these, as it turned out, really mesmerizing and horrifying tales of his teenage years growing up in this group where children were separated from their parents and had to live in these dismal barracks. At a point, everybody had to shave their head and participate in these massive group weigh-ins, whatever the whims of the leader Chuck Diedrich dictated.

15:17Elise Hu: Everyone in the group had to participate in this ritual called The Game, which was kind of the centerpiece of life in Sinanon. It was this pretty hostile and traumatizing group therapy ritual where people, even kids, had to participate, would gather in a circle and be forced to malign one another with vicious interpersonal criticism. And this ritual and the cult of Sinanon in general ended up laying the foundation for what would later become the troubled teen industry, the horrible conglomerate of abusive wilderness programs. You get sent out to the wilderness. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so I grew up on these stories that my dad would tell me that were so enrapturing and spooky.

16:02Elise Hu: And, you know, because I've always been a loquacious and language-oriented kid long before I knew what the field of linguistics was. The most fascinating part of my dad's stories to me was always the special language, you know, the buzzwords and us versus them labels and special terminology that Synanon members would use to, you know, shut down members' critical thinking, to divide people into insiders and outsiders, to, you know, build solidarity. And I grew up and came of age and noticed that some of those same linguistic strategies could be found in places that weren't as bad as Synanon, but definitely seemed culty to some degree.

16:45Amanda Montell: Yeah. But as you suggest in the talk and in your book, not all cult-like or cultish things are necessarily bad. Loving Taylor Swift, for example, or people who go to SoulCycle religiously, that's not inherently bad and can lead to a lot of community building and feelings of connection. Where is the line for you? Yeah.

17:09Elise Hu: Yeah, I mean, this is why I describe the cultish spectrum, right? Because we as human beings are a social species. We need community and connection and belonging. It's who we are. It only starts to become dangerous when, you know, power-hungry, nefarious figures start to take advantage of our deeply human and beautiful drives for those very things. And so growing up in the United States, which has a distinctly consistent relationship to cults and cultishness for a number of reasons, from our American dream ideology, the meritocracy myth that thrives here, to our lack or dearth of some of the social programs and government services that allow a lot of advanced nations and cultures to thrive.

18:02Elise Hu: We feel kind of existentially unmoored in this country a lot of the time, which paves the way for potentially pernicious figures to come in and say, oh, the government isn't taking care of you. You've got problems with the health care system. You're rejecting the church that you maybe grew up in. Here, join my group. I have the answers. And again, some of those groups are net positive for sure, but there are signs that you can look for. And I would say that on the language side of things, because that's really my lens, some cult linguistic red flags to listen for would be the extreme use of thought-terminating cliches so that any cognitive dissonance that a follower might feel will be quelled such that the person in power can remain so for an indefinite period.

18:52Elise Hu: A thought-terminating cliche might come in the form of a phrase like, don't let yourself be ruled by fear, to squash concerns about the COVID-19 pandemic, or you just need to do your research when someone expresses pushback. And by research, that doesn't necessarily mean like logging on to JSTOR and reading some peer-reviewed studies. Rather, it might mean, you know, falling down a rabbit hole on 4chan or Reddit or something like that that's laden with confirmation bias and conspiracy theories. But thought-terminating cliches also show up in our everyday lives in the form of phrases like, oh, it is what it is, or boys will be boys, you know.

19:31Elise Hu: So they're really aimed at getting people not to think. Now, in terms of red flags or, you know, signs that you've maybe crossed into territory that's too cultish for comfort that don't specifically have to do with language, I would say when a group does not create room to have one foot out the door, if there are extreme exit costs, there's no dignified way to only participate casually or to leave, lest you fear for your life or your community. You'll lose all of your friends, your connections, or even more extreme consequences. That's a sign that this group may not be so healthy and is trying to control you in ways that, yeah, are just over the line of cultishness.

20:14Yeah. Yeah.

20:16Amanda Montell: What do you think about parasocial relationships? Because, you know, cults tend to have charismatic leaders.

20:21Elise Hu: Yeah, I think parasocial cult leaders are the new cult leader of the 21st century. I think classically we think of cults as these groups that operate on remote compounds, Manson style, Jonestown style. I do believe it is absolutely possible to be radicalized or whipped up into a state of cultishness from the comfort of your living room or your bed just because of the way that forums operate and the way that social media algorithms reward sensationalism and certain forms of charisma. I never want to be too sensationalist. Obviously, there are parasocial communities that are net positive. Fan communities can really provide like a safe and loving space for marginalized folks, young people who are increasingly experiencing loneliness, which has been described as an epidemic.

21:15Elise Hu: And I really believe that's true. However, yeah, when we start to kind of lose the plot and devolve into these kind of really hostile dynamics involving what a psychologist might call splitting, where we're dividing other fans or, you know, even celebrities that we admire or business leaders that we admire, podcasters we admire, and all these people are, you know, crossing into each other's lanes into like deified angels or disgraced demons. And we're, you know, making guesses about like what our parasocial leader, whether that's Taylor Swift or a politician or a podcaster, might want us to do and what they're thinking.

21:58Elise Hu: And we're jumping to conclusions and maybe even committing violence because someone we admire from afar tweeted something that we're finding hitting meetings in. That's an extreme and that's something to examine and not to discount just because it doesn't meet the cult criteria that we're used to seeing in documentaries about NXIVM or Heaven's Gate or whatever. So, yeah, I mean, do I have parasocial relationships with artists that I adore? Of course. And are they sometimes a little delusional? And do I think that they have certain qualities or that they would be friends with me if we met in real life that, you know, maybe not be quite accurate?

22:39Elise Hu: Sure. Is that causing me to separate from my real life family or like change my values or completely surrender my identity to this group or this affiliation as a fan or even, you know, change my political opinions according to what the fandom thinks, etc. Not yet, and hopefully not. But these are some of the things to look for as we examine this cultish spectrum, if you will.

23:09Amanda Montell: I can't help but to hear you talk about cults and then especially when you're talking about like changing my beliefs about things or abandoning my previous positions on policy and seeing, you know, people who used to believe one thing completely believe something different because of a charismatic leader. How is it that believers or members of certain groups continue to stay in the organization or continue to follow leaders who act against their interests?

23:43Elise Hu: Well, I don't think it really has to do with the policies or the ideas themselves, because what drives people to these groups and to one another is that sense of unity and community and ritual and belonging and identity, like all of these factors that make the human experience on earth bearable. And if betraying an idea means betraying a community, you're probably not going to do it even if you have some profound cognitive dissonance surrounding what you've committed to. And I've seen otherwise really smart, lovely people commit to some pretty dangerous ideas because of sense of belonging. Yeah, this like deep-seated human drive toward community.

24:35Elise Hu: And I think that the stakes and the temperature feel higher now because we do live in these extremely polarized times when a lot of nuance gets flattened online and a lot of rhetoric becomes more cultish online. And, you know, social media algorithms encourage more extreme rhetoric, even if the person posting it barely believes it. So we're living in cultier and cultier times, I think.

25:02Amanda Montell: How do we help people in our communities or people that we love, maybe who have gotten indoctrinated or we believe they've become indoctrinated? How do we help them break out? What do we say to them without pushing them away?

25:14Elise Hu: It's so tough. I mean, at this point, I think it's easier for me to talk about what not to say. I can advise against telling them that they're in a cult because that tends to make people pretty defensive or to say like, oh, no, you're in a cult. you know, vegans versus the barbecue fanatics. And, you know, it's like, you're in a cult. No, you're in a cult. Like that can go so many ways. So I would avoid saying that as tempting as it might be. I might avoid saying things like you're brainwashed. It's just it doesn't feel respectful. Even if we deep down believe that they are brainwashed and in a cult, it's not a productive accusation to wield.

25:53Elise Hu: And then also like if we're specifically talking to someone who's in, you know, an anti-science type of organization or community or whatever. I also might suggest avoiding trying to disprove their beliefs with, you know, proof from the NIH or like a study that you read from an outlet or a publication that they've deemed contaminated because these groups really demonize certain media sources they always have. I mean, like Jim Jones, one of the most notorious cult leaders of all time really effectively demonized the mainstream media. Right, right. It's really effective to demonize media sources, even if they are relatively unbiased, all things considered, and including scientific literature.

26:40Elise Hu: So I, as counterintuitive as it feels, if someone is really, really deep in one of those anti-science groups, I might not defend your position with citations from the CDC. And instead, I might encourage you know just like recognizing their humanity and this is easier said than done there are some people who you might just need to like take a pause on your relationship with them you know because it is really tough to get into conversations with someone who seems far gone but if this is a loved one who you really care about and you have no interest in distancing yourself from them then showing them your your empathy your compassion your listening skills Because ultimately, I do think from what I've observed and reported on, I do believe deep down in my heart that what is driving them toward this group and these beliefs is not really the ideas themselves.

27:35Elise Hu: It's that sense of belonging. It's that sense of, you know, answers in a really chaotic time informationally and socially, relationally. And so if you can give them an alternative just by being there and not seeming as judgmental as you might want to seem, that might be the most hopeful strategy.

27:57Amanda Montell: Yeah. You mentioned earlier that we are living in cultier and cultier times. So I have to ask, what role do you think AI plays in all of this? Because AI, especially the large language models that have bots that we can have conversations with, tend to be so sycophantic. Wow.

28:15Elise Hu: I mean, we could talk about this for three days straight. Among the cultier things that these LLMs, large language models, chatbots might do are to affirm you unconditionally. As you mentioned, they're sycophantic. They're suck-ups. They will always say things like, oh, that makes so much sense, even if what you're saying makes absolutely no sense at all. They perform what's called ego work by propping up your sense of self, soothing shame, bolstering confidence, performing this emotional labor. And that's effective because they do a lot of linguistic mirroring. everybody's bespoke chat is their own custom cult leader because it will start to learn the way that you use language your semantic patterns and reflect them back at you they create this sense that they're emotionally intelligent by yeah using those first person pronouns they'll spew out these like pseudo diagnoses for you or people in your life.

29:26Elise Hu: They'll like coin neologisms the way that L. Ron Hubbard did. They'll say things like, oh, what you've achieved is this chronomatic whatever. They'll like make up these like scientific sounding terms that make it feel like a really profound conversation. And they state themselves with such confidence and tirelessness. Like obviously a chatbot is there 24-7. It doesn't have the limitations of a human being that needs to sleep and eat and take a break. And so, yeah, I think AI chatbots are their own form of cult leader. The tech overlords that are pursuing profit at the expense of human work and human lives are cult leaders in a sense.

30:10Elise Hu: And yeah, I'm nervous in these times. I can't lie. I am nervous in these times. Yeah.

30:19Amanda Montell: Before we wrap up, we'd love to do just a quick rapid fire round of questions to help listeners get to know you. Okay. All right. What's a talent or hobby unrelated to your work that you love so much that you could give a whole TED talk about it? Okay. How to

30:37Elise Hu: assemble a really good cheese plate.

30:40Amanda Montell: Ooh, I actually want to know this. Okay. Because I never know like what is the ratio of like really strong cheeses to you know and then soft versus hard. Yeah. Oh yeah. It's like it's an aperitivo spread.

30:54Elise Hu: I yeah it's it's it's more than just cheese. But yeah I got you. Okay. I will need to follow up.

31:00Amanda Montell: All right. If you're up for sharing when's the last time you laughed really hard?

31:05Elise Hu: Oh my god. I mean my husband and I speak in ridiculous accents and like secret fake languages in our house all day long. And he's been speaking in the worst Irish accent you've ever heard in your life recently. And it makes me fall over cackling.

31:25Amanda Montell: Love that. Okay. And finally, what do you hope people will learn, feel, and do after hearing your talk?

31:31Elise Hu: I hope people will feel inspired to be a little more compassionate toward other people's irrationalities and skeptical of their own. I love that.

31:43Amanda Montell: Amanda Montel, thank you so much. And congrats again on your TED Talk. Thank you. My pleasure.

31:53Amanda Montell: That was Amanda Montel at TED Next 2025 and in conversation with me, Elise Hugh. If you're curious about TED's curation, find out more at TED.com slash curation guidelines. And that's it for today. This episode was produced by Lucy Little, edited by Alejandra Salazar, and fact-checked by the TED Research Team. TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective. Our team includes Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Ryan Green, Lucy Little, Emma Taubner, and Tansika Sangmarnivon. Additional support from Daniela Ballarezzo, Valentina Bohanini, and Banban Chang. I'm Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed.

32:32Amanda Montell: Thanks for listening.

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