What introverts wish everyone else knew | Shalewa Sharpe

0:06You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas and conversations to spark your curiosity every day. I'm your host, Elise Hu. We could all use a bit more humor in our lives, right? So today we're bringing you just that. In her 2024 set, comedian Shalewa Sharp brings her unique blend of self-deprecation and social observation to the TED stage and asks some of life's burning questions, including, but not limited to, did capitalism break my ankle? Enjoy.

0:41I am very excited to be here. I mean, unfortunately, this is how I do. Excitement.

1:08I don't want to give you guys too much. I got to tell you, you all are lucky to have me. I'm very busy. I'm a busy person. I got a lot going on. You know what I mean? I'm working on so many projects. I'm working on a project right now. I am currently breaking in this boot. Let's just adjust. Let's just talk about it, okay? I know you're staring.

1:41Overpopulation broke my ankle. Now, I don't mean that I was like in a big crowd and I fell. I mean, I was by myself in my sister's apartment and I slipped on a cardboard box that I was going to use to send some items that I found in her town to my place in Brooklyn because the New York City thrift stores in Brooklyn are terrible because too many people live there and they're picked. It's just, there's nothing in there. Also, everything in there is horrible. Quick question, why do you only donate horrible things to the thrift store. Why don't you give us your good stuff? Give us your good stuff.

2:32You can't live with it forever. Let me have a crack at it, you know? And actually, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe capitalism broke my ankle. Look, young people are in a very anti-capitalism bag right now, right? They're very anti-capitalism. And I want to be there with them. I really do. They're the future, and I want to be there with them, but I just got money.

3:01Just got it. So because you develop a moral core, I have to stop spending? That's not fair. They just started putting extended sizes in the stores, but I'm supposed to stop. I don't know. Sounds fatphobic to me. That's all I'm saying. A little bit. But look, we're on the healing end. We're on the back end. You know, we're doing fine. I'm going to physical therapy, which how come no one told me about physical therapy? It's great. It's like diet gym. I love it so much. First of all, no dress code. Everyone in there was working out in jeans and desert boots. It's fantastic. Also, instead of weights on the machines, there just seemed to be different color hair ties that you could just pull on for like 25 to 30 minutes while Frank Ocean plays in the background?

3:55Man, it's great. I highly recommend it, you know? I do. But that's not why I'm out here. I know that we've been discussing the concept of play, and I'm coming out here looking like the concept of consequences, but that's not why I'm here. I'm here actually to represent for all of my fellow introverts. Where are my introverts at? Okay. I don't believe the ones who clapped. But many people raise their hands and I see you. The last time I did an all-call for introverts, three tumbleweeds left the room. So I'm glad that you're owning yourself. But really, my message is actually more for the extroverts.

4:51Basically, what I want to tell you extroverts is to stop being weird. What I mean by that is when we are turning up at the function, right? We're all there together, and you see someone quietly just on the wall or in a corner, just watching things, chilling, having a drink. I understand you're all empaths. I understand you feel discomfort, or you're, you know, the life of the party, and you rush over, and the first thing you do is get in this person's face, and you yell, are you okay? are you having fun? And they tell you, I'm fine, I'm good, I'm having a good time. My message to you is believe them.

5:49Please believe them. We're having fun, you know? What you've got there is an active introvert. I know it seems odd because usually we're in our heads. It's a lot of fun in here, you know? We decorated it how we liked. But we do occasionally want to go out. We want to do the things, you know. We want to run and jump and climb and drunkenly paint pottery or eat a messy taco in the street, whatever it is that you guys are doing right now. We want to do it, but we want to do it quietly. We don't need to be all loud about it, you know. We just don't want someone running up to us like, are you going to nurse that all night?

6:28Or you didn't even scream when we jumped out the plane. Like, let us live. Let us live. Like, respect the comfort levels. There are many different comfort levels in the room, in the space. Let them all breathe, you know? We're just there observing. And you need us to observe. Who will tell the tale? You?

7:04No. You need credible witnesses.

7:11We're seeing things you guys didn't even notice. Like, here's a thing I noticed recently. Clubs and dive bars are doing a weird thing with their bathroom lighting. You didn't even notice that, did you? No. Well, it's usually, it's got like one light bulb and it's like some whimsical color, like teal or magenta. And so you can't see and you're squinting. And I guess it's supposed to be fun, but it's not fun for me because I need to see the color of my pee at all times. It just, it determines how the rest of the night goes. You know? So I'm in there with my phone flashlight, like making decisions.

7:55How are we doing? What's going on? If it's relatively clear, great. Let's keep going. If it's got a tint, I'll take a bottle of water to go, please. Something's wrong. You know? I just, I was, in fact, I was in a club bathroom recently that had a sign on the wall. Club bathrooms are my third space. I was in a club bathroom recently, and there was a sign on the wall. And the sign had a lot of information. It said, hey, if you have drugs on you, just know that we have testing strips behind the bar. And if you or someone in your party does all of your drugs, know that we have Narcan to pull you back.

8:33And if you're a person who has a menstrual cycle, we've got Diva Cups, tampons, and pads under the sink. And if you were planning on having sex tonight, we have a container by the sink that has all of the accoutrement that you may need. And I thought, wow, that's a lot of information. Quick question, where's your toilet paper? Where's that? You've got me reading a lot while I'm sitting here drip drying. So, I actually, I went looking around to see if they actually had all of the stuff, because I am nosy, and it turns out they did. They had everything. They had snacks for emotional support animals.

9:17They had it all. And I was like, you know what? I kind of appreciate the measures that you've taken. I really do. Here's one measure I wish you had taken. A hook on the back of the door. What are we doing? Do you think I'm going to put my tote bag down on this floor? Ew, that's nasty. You heard me correctly. I take a tote bag to the club. I do. I do, because I am next-level active introvert, so I go to the club to relax. I post up by the DJ booth. That's where you'll find me, knitting. That's what's in the tote bag. Do you understand? I'm playing large-font sudoku. I'm drinking chamomile tea. So I guess basically my message for you all is just respect the boundaries while we're out here having a good time.

10:16get rid of your good stuff and bring a mug everybody bring a mug if you want to have a lot of fun at the club you've been lovely I've been Shalewa Sharp, thank you very much

10:34that was Shalewa Sharp speaking at TED Next in 2024 if you're curious about TED's curation, find out more at ted.com slash curation guidelines And that's it for today's show. TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective. This episode was produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Green, Lucy Little, Alejandra Salazar, and Tonsika Sarmanivon. It was mixed by Christopher Faze-Bogan. Additional support from Emma Taubner and Daniela Ballarezzo. I'm Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed. Thanks for listening.

11:15Thank you.