4 Readings (Patricia Sun)

31:53That is, when you have a calling, you know, it's... You got to listen. Yeah. And mine is very strict. Never phase, never stopped. That's what I feel, I really... That's good. Well, that's a finger of God does that to you. And my finger of God points to you. It's kind of like the responsibility that comes with the realization. Yeah. Yeah. It is. It is. And it's a responsibility responsibility. You have the ability to respond to this point purpose. And you know you have the ability to respond and you're going to do it. And it has to be done. It's like Rick's book has got such a great title where it says, you know, the creative act, a way of being says the whole darn thing.

32:37You have to be it. And then the creative act just flow all over you. Exactly. Exactly. When you know what it's for. Yes. Yes. Yes. And it was driven with the by the purpose that kind of does... It shows you. You know. Exactly. Let me see. You have your North node in Leo in the house of philosophy. North node is... This is like the tail of the dragon. This is the head of the dragon. Cool. The tail of the dragon is what you might think is the tail end. It's where you've already been. Some part of you knows the philosophy of this creativity. Part of what you're pioneering now, the head of the dragon, is in Aquarius.

33:19So it's futuristic thinking. It's something unique to this very unusual time that's coming into being. I think the whole planet is going to go through an extraordinary implosion, explosion at the same time of consciousness. Yes. Because it's catching. You'll be telepathically catching. And music and people who can generate this feeling will facilitate that. And that's why it's so valuable and so important. And why the finger of God is asking you. And why the public will like it? Because people are starving for it, frankly. Yes. Starving. Because we live in a crazy, stupid world. It's trying to go back to all the old crap.

34:02The old crap is so tiresome, it doesn't work. And greedy and stupid. We don't need it anymore. We need inspiration. I see. There's like in my head there's almost like a storyline kind of thing that I've been writing. It goes with the... Because it's an album that's way more than album. So it's kind of like a philosophy to me. But it's like... I don't know. It's also Wizard of Oz. It's the, you know, the overall message is the search and the journey that we're all on. No matter where you are, no matter when you're... Yes. Yes. We're all on it to find... No matter what culture we're understanding of our purpose and our peace.

34:40Exactly. And it always will be. And then ideally in this lifetime you get to that point where you find your purpose and your exercise. So older, yeah. 33. So what's the worst sentence? Did you read your saturn return already? I feel like I did. I think you... Are you in the midst of your saturn return? It's like, what is it from 28 to 30, I guess, 33 maybe? The saturn in 25 Capricorn. Yeah, you just had your saturn return. Go through a big change. Absolutely. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. You're on your new path. You know what it is now. Yeah. And you didn't before. I opened the same thing that mine around 32.

35:20Yeah. It's unbelievable. I think your service in the music and the venus and Pisces is very big. Well, the finger God is very big and saturn and Capricorn. So you've had your saturn return. It's sex style, which is a growth relation to them. And I have a Pisces too. So you're getting the Piscy and Hit on the Capricorn. I love the combination of Pisces and Capricorn. Capricorns are very serious, diligent, earnest, hardworking. And Capricorns don't usually give themselves credit for that. They're hard on the silver, they should try hard on the sugar. They should work hard on that on time. They should get this.

36:04And why I'm good for Capricorn is I immediately see all the beauty that they are and all the beauty that they're doing. And that it's just an assist to be diligent. You know, it's nice to be diligent if you can. But you always have to surrender to the higher energy, which is spirit and flow and beauty. These are the higher energy. It is absolutely. And that diligence has to serve those, which means sometimes it just takes a break. Yeah, it's going to take back. Yeah, so this is good. This is so good. This is so good. I've never done this before. Yeah, well, you know, person's heart. Yeah, this is like alchemy.

36:45Yeah, that's right. That's right. And you can only get as higher reading as the person is conscious, because some people are good sort of craftsmen, but they don't really get the magic. Yeah, you can. They got it. That's it. Okay. So let me see anything I'm missing. Oh, here's a sextile. Uranus is sextile Mars. And Mars isn't Pisces as well. Why did I miss that? Okay. And it's trying your Jupiter and cancer. Miss that also. First of all, you've got five trines. That's pretty darn good. I have five squares in a few trines. Squares are hard. And through squares, I learned all my unique information.

37:32Some of it took me 20 years to figure out, but that's where I got information that was never was before. Yeah. So it was good. The lady made you earn it. Yeah. I had to do it that way. But I was built to do it. So it was okay. That was okay. You're sort of here to deliver. You're here to deliver. And that's why these trines are really nice. But these three things in Capricorn, your Saturn return in Capricorn, Neptune in Capricorn, Uranus in Capricorn, and you're trying your Sun and Mercury. This is a, these four trines together. They're like a dynamo, but the earth is a trine between the earth.

38:16It's a grounding, it's more than the mystical, because it's ahead of its time thought with Uranus, which is part of what you were born into, and the Neptune in Capricorn as well. That's mist, that is the mystical. You know, I have Neptune and Virgo, and I always start to laugh because Virgo is very analytical. Not tremendously spiritual because it's too sort of judgmental, especially of itself, because it's trying to analyze always to be right. The one thing Virgo's always have to give up is being right. Be good, win win. Their analytical ability is awesome, and it's very good. My Neptune in Virgo is, I analyze psychic spiritual, it's a nominant.

39:13And so when I read your chart or anybody's chart, well, it doesn't hurt to see a finger of God right off, but my assistant I had when I was in LA, she used to get people, she had a girlfriend, she says, wait, you see this paper? See all these lines? She could tell you they are whole lines. She was so cute, but she was so excited. It was like a mystery. Just look at these lines and see all this. But they are a language. It is a language, yeah. And these aspects are relationships, the quality and caliber of the relationships. Quinn -Kunk's are a little bit difficult. Sex tiles, these green ones, they are very gross related.

40:00Like Pisces, very different from Capricorn, but how they are different is this incredibly complimentary. Capricorn helps Pisces pay the bills on time, which Pisces will forget they even have a bill. But Pisces will help Capricorn soften their heart against for themselves and see how wonderful they really are. Because Capricorn is a little bit too hard on themselves. And so that's one thing you don't want to do and you want to access. But these are outer planets. This is futuristic information. Try in your sun and mercury. Seventh house. Are you in a relationship? Yeah. Okay. What sign? It's a person.

40:40Virgo? Virgo? August 24th. What you want is a grounded, comfortable relationship. Your Seventh house is ruled by Taurus. Your house of relationship is the same degree as my mid -heaven, my career. And this is almost the same degree as my rising sign. So we have a strong affinity for how the energies will manifest. So do you have any other questions? Anything I could cover that I didn't? I don't know. You chart sort of does say you will earn money two ways. Jupiter in the eighth house is almost from other places in strange ways. But you have Uranus in Taurus' house, which is the house of money in possessions.

41:38And you have Uranus in Capricorn, which is futuristic thinking very earnestly pursued. And I would say that's how you're going to learn money. I have my Neptune in Virgo. Yeah. I earn it by analyzing. It's just interesting how that works. I'm analyzing. I'm super, very analytical. And that's where like a lot of mine. I mean logic and things become from it. And that's why even making, you know, doing the thing that I feel is like my calling, like my God's finger, you know, it's really, you know, it's like the awareness of like, how do you say inputsaling out that's very positive without it coming across as preachy or even corny?

42:22Yeah. Because also sometimes if you're not in a great feeling mood or something and someone says, it's going to be fine. You're like, shut up. You know, almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it has to be like, you know, almost like inception way, you know. Well, there's something in some... It's kind of like you said. There's something that's insure about that when it's Clib like that. Yeah. And the person doesn't really know what it is and they may be trying, but they don't really get it. When you get these sort of things that cover, couple things all at once and say something, that's when it rings true if it is true.

43:00Yeah. And that's when it's unique and it's artistic and it's nice. I like that. I think I could be more of a better lyricist. I hear music in my head, but I don't know how to get it out. You should definitely write it down, even if it's just like on notes or something like that, a cool phrasing of words. You know, that'll be the... I only have about 5 ,000 pages. See, this, this, this, what is this? What are words that you write down that are cool for? Well, you know, I used to have flyers that I sent out during those years that I did workshops. And they always had a picture and a quote. So here's one.

43:42And the receptive soul, you know, opens with love to the living world, we will be home. That's beautiful. See, all these things are like the messages and what I've been doing is like translating or transcribing them. And almost like using all the, like the, the, for the most, and all the stuff I've ever done. And with the other people that have also done stuff too, the like architected, you know, kind of almost sound as we know it'd be like Rick, you know. And to disarm, you know, someone that's just like, wow, this is beautiful, but they're also taking in, you know, a really... And some of the messages are so simple.

44:19It's like, you write, where are you belong everywhere you go? Keep following the stepping stones, you know? Yep. And I keep getting the message, I'm going to have a new career. I'm going to do something completely different. And I can, I just be wilderness to what it could be. This is the Uranus return, you know, something inexplicably different, but it will facilitate my purpose. Yeah. So maybe this is it. Yeah, I think that... Is this something that I could, I could take with? Or do you have extra... Yeah, yeah, these... Yeah, I think that... It's like you, it's, everything you're saying is that's what it is.

44:56You know, I mean, it's like how to broadcast and amplify those messages out. Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah. And that's really what I've been feeling like is my purpose, and I've been giving it everything, you know? Yes, yes. And it's like, after doing that too, it's hard to even look at making music the same way as like how a lot of my friends look at it, you know, which is interesting. One thing that I learned from Rick, we were actually sitting right here, and we were listening to something, and he said, you know, it's funny. Sometimes the intention that you put into the music can tell the story more than even the lyrics itself.

45:35Absolutely. And I listened to it. I was like, whoa. And then what he said actually blossomed over time for me, and I realized that at some point I actually started hearing why people were making the music there. If someone was playing me something, I can hear why they were making it louder than the song. Absolutely. And I'm like, oh, you're chasing something. It's not actually even about the music. Yes. And then you hear all those pieces. Well, that's all the pieces. It's Venus and Pisces. That's it. That's you get that. You tune into that. Yeah. And especially the beautiful and the music Venus as a planet represents music and beauty.

46:13Yeah. That's beautiful. And I think using the, or utilizing the music as a telephone, you know, as a communication tool. Yeah. Somehow, like a lot of the art or like a music that's made now, especially when this label is in the, like, you're just trying to manufacture and just try not to stop. Turn down. You know what I mean? It's like fast food. Like, that is lost. You know what I mean? Which is kind of crazy. And it's almost like the most of the stuff that's written is like, the national tendency is to lean into, this is my diary. Which is kind of it. That's what feels, you know what I mean?

46:47This is my expression. Correct. And then I feel like certain artists when they have the revelation and they almost like rise into one of their full purposes or something. And they realize like, I have a super voice in which when I speak 100 million people are listening or 500 million people. Right. And so if I could speak to 500 million people at once. But like, when you look at like Balmali, he realized it. Because when I realized that and I looked at some of the greatest stuff of all time, I'm like, they realized that they realized it's a telephone and he said, don't worry, be happy. You know, in Jollin, it's a marginal world where, you know, and it's a conversation with the listener.

47:23Yeah. It was they were tuning in and leaving. It's a great time to be alive. Very interesting. And I would say, take all the risks, smile, things you never thought will click, will take off like rockets and things you think are precious and should be recognized may not be. So don't worry about it. Yeah. Just do it and see what you get. Don't worry about it. That's the biggest thing. And that's the main thing that Capricorn does. It worries so hard. You don't have to try. That's the other wonderful thing. There's no trying at all. Yeah. I think the biggest problem for us these days is letting everything, letting it be.

48:07We'll keep thinking we have to try harder or do it better. Especially women, they get very in their head about how they're supposed to look or how they're supposed to be. Yeah, especially with the internet and social media and a lot of stuff. Oh, God, so much skewed. It's like, I think the phones are like black holes kind of. And it's like, you could see when, you know, someone's in a conversation and then when they go into their phone, they go somewhere else. You know, I mean, they're at least 50 % here now, was they were 100 % before. You know what I mean? It's kind of. It's too much. Yeah, it's a lot.

48:42Too much. But it's okay. Everything's moving quite fast. We need challenges. Yeah. I was one of the other things in like the stepping stones, like message is everywhere I've been to help me find that it is all part of the design. What I remember that when I wrote that part is just that it's like the sacred geometry or something. There's a structure that exists in nature, you know, without a doubt. And that this is all part of it. So I know that it's like, you know, and then ideally in this lifetime you get to the point where you realize all of it. I said under estimation of the truth of it, but very few people really realize how true that is.

49:24Very true. I see it. Yeah, you're right. You know, that's something to write about. Yeah, that will, that's that song. Stepping stones. Oh, yeah. It's kind of that everything is all for a reason for the greater, you know, it's all part of the design. It's a structure. It's like a little, the veins in a leaf or something. I look forward to it. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful for that experience. Oh, my pleasure. My pleasure. My pleasure.

49:51How would you like me to do this? Would you like me to just talk about your chart or would you like to ask me something? If you ask me something, I'll start talking about your chart anyway. I know. I don't really have any questions, but I would love to just just hear what's here. Sure, whatever you'd like to share with me, I'm completely open. Okay, okay, okay. Sit as a protective conservative scorpion. You're not right, I'm right. Well, no, it's like, okay, so I know a lot about my chart. Excellent. And I know a lot about cardiology. And then I know a lot about my personal cardiology. And then I'm initiated in a few spiritual practices.

50:31Like, like, like, regleveocha and like, bottomaillombe, and like, you know, like, African traditional spiritual practices and orisha practices. Well, you know, when it comes to things like practices or even things like that you believe that help you, you know, they are very personal. Yeah. And the ones that work work. Yeah. The ones that don't bother with. Yeah. Because they are a choice. Now, sometimes something sounds good and maybe is good for other people, but isn't really delivering quite what you want. So don't worry about that. Don't think you're doing anything wrong. The thing about scorpias, they try so hard.

51:21They're looking for the thing that will really work. And this venus and capricorn, and you have a Saturn and capricorn, you're serious. You want these things to be practically useful. Oh, I don't even dabble in anything spiritual unless it's quantifiably proven to work for me. For you. For you. I'm very logical. Like not. Yes. Even when it comes to magic, I'm just very like, I need to see it. Absolutely. It's a challenge to understand. And you know what? To believe. I'm that way too. I agree with that. I had to like physically get possessed before I believed in that realm. One of the things that I think is important is that we are living in a time where tremendous change in the way we think is occurring.

52:18And a lot of it is in influence. I almost want to say from heaven, it's from the universe. An astrology is a kind of message from the universe. It shows patterns, it shows energy, and people who can read it get a lot of information. So what do you main goal? What do you want most in life? What are you trying for that you would have all this stuff serve? Hmm. I don't know. It doesn't have to be reasonable either. It doesn't have to be like a career. It could be a career. But it's just like, what do you wish was clearer to you, easier for you? What do you wish you could accomplish? Hmm. I want to have, I want to be a good mother at some point.

53:04And I would like to - Are you a mother? No. No, but when you are. But I want to - And I want to have better partnerships with others. And like better understanding of myself. I want to be calmer. I want to be like slower to anger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to be like - I can't tell you how many times I hear that very same request. I'm surprised. You're not alone in that one. I want to be a better person. Yeah. But really, I definitely just want to - I'm not a regular in my own nervous system. So that like the chaos of life doesn't like, unground me with such ease. They're like, uproot me every second.

53:46But I'm getting better. But I'd like to be better. Yeah. Sturdier. Stiller. It's a funny thing that I want to say to you is, if you didn't care so much, it'd be easier. I know. Part of the problem is that you added - Added ingredient of trying to hard. You don't realize you are already a good person. When you come to being a mother, the whole secret is handling it moment by moment with great attunement and receptivity and caring for the child. That's all. That's all it takes. I say all because we all have programming that derails us from doing things like that. Yeah. We do. And what you want to do is have friends, or somebody you can confide in, whenever you feel derailed from being able to actually deliver to your child, I didn't realize you don't have one yet, but don't worry about it now because the child will tell you what it needs.

54:46Your heart will tell you what the child in your arms that came out of your body is telling you it needs. So a lot of the things you're worrying about now are kind of like programmed worries. You know what I mean? Yeah. They're not really real because that's not what's going to be. That's not what the issue is going to be. Yeah. And you are much more capable of handling all these issues than you think you are. You just have a kind of expectation, a belief about how it ought to be, and if you were really good, it would be like this. Yeah. And if you were really doing it right, this would happen.

55:29Yeah. But that's not how it is. That's not reality. And as long as you keep holding on to that, you'll just keep being there because that isn't it. It's actually, if it's kind of fun how the universe works, it's kind of exciting. And when a Scorpio starts to get this, because you're going to be so intense, you might be my dear friends of Scorpio. And I, here are all of us for many years. And as many times as I told her, I mean, she's really a wonderful person. She tries very, she's a famous actress. She treats everybody with kindness. Doesn't have any pre -Modana things. She's generous to almost default with people when she was wealthy especially.

56:16But she's still worried she's not doing it right. And I said, the only thing you're not doing right is you're worrying that you're not doing it right. That's the only thing. Because you have all of it already in you. You know, when I get these kind of thoughts, I think of you as a little girl. I always think of people's inner child who's very innocent, very sweet, very good. And when they think they've done something wrong, you know how they get the little kids, you know, like this. What would you as the good mother to yourself or the good father to yourself? Well, we say to that little girl that thinks she's doing it all wrong.

57:02Nobody's doing it right. They're just doing it. They're just doing it. Why can't you just do it? We just do it too. We all just doing it. We just try and we're making it up. You already did it. The thing that you're trying to get in touch with is the deep inner part of you that is insecure about how well and how good you are. That's it. That's the whole deal. That is the deal. And nobody can actually give you that but you. And that's why I use the image of being your own good mother who totally unconditionally loves this little girl. Things she won't do it right. Things something bad could happen because she doesn't know.

57:43And you have to be the mother. The wise part of yourself and you have it. It's your own higher self. You have to say to yourself almost like embrace yourself with your arms and hold yourself and tell yourself, it sounds so corny, but tell yourself how beautiful you are because you care. That's because you are beautiful. I mean, that goes without saying. Thank you. But without that, I'm not even talking about that kind of beauty. You got that already. I'm talking about the kind of beauty that is lovable. Yeah. That is real. That is earnest. That wants it to be good. It wants to heal things. It wants to make it better.

58:24You know, the biggest problem with Scorpios. See, Scorpios ruled by sex, death, money and power. These are the air ones. These are the big issues. Those are the terrible. These are the issues that humanity gives us. Yeah. The transcendent energy of a Scorpio is like a butterfly where you have to let your guts turn to soup. Nothing you can do about it. Yeah. Let your guts turn to soup. Love yourself while you're doing it. Put yourself in the safe places you can. And before you know it, the crystals is going to open and you're going to fly away a butterfly. In other words, everything you wish to have happen is going to happen by itself.

59:08You really can't make it happen. Scorpios, power is the big issue for Scorpios. They want to understand power. They want to have it. They want to understand it in seconds. They want to understand it in depth. They want to understand it in money. Truth is, there's nothing to do about it except one step at a time to do the best you can. Then you'll be exercising the best power because it will be innocent, compassionate, and loving. For yourself, as much as anybody else, the greatest power is not needing to control anything because you're willing to accept the universe where it's coming. And it's like, make lemonade out of lemons.

59:45Whatever it sends you, you're going to like it because it's going to give you something you didn't know you could do with it. This is the secret of power. It's not like, oh, I have this power and I can do this. That's a big old -faked idea of old -style thinking. We're moving to a new -style thinking where you're just being it. You're going to be it because you just care. Frankly, that's what makes good power when you actually care for somebody else and yourself as well, equally. So you have empathy. And when it comes to sex, the greatest sex comes about through surrender, mutual surrender. And sometimes it's like a dance.

1:00:28That's what the tantric thing is. It's a dance between surrender and experiencing. Surrender? Oh, and it was okay. And experiencing it. It's not about doing the right thing. There's no recipe. You don't have to look up anything. You nobody has to tell you, oh, you'll be the sexiest person in the world. You do this. Anybody tells you that stuff. They don't know what they're talking about. They're trying to entice you to get control over you because good sex is innocent. It's surrenders. It can be super passionate or tender sweet. It does not matter. It's moment by moment, feeling the other person and letting yourself be felt.

1:01:20It's surrender, surrender, and surrender again. And it comes up moment by moment. You know, you surrender and then you don't. And then you relax and you notice what's happening. You're compassionate to the other person. You're compassionate to yourself. These are the gateways to let it happen. It happens. Good sex happens. Yeah. You know, so sex death, death, well, you don't worry about death. You go, well, I'm worried to go about death. But we're all going to die. We all die at the time our higher self has chosen to die. Yeah. I don't perceive you having that anytime soon. So you really don't have to worry too much about it.

1:02:01The main concern you might have is someone in your life might die. And if someone in your life might die, you have to give them the entitlement to leave when they decide to leave. It's not your choice. And the best thing to do with anybody who is either dying or has died is to send them so much love and gratitude that you've known them. Because that's the purest gift for them to make the transition. To go to the next place. Because there is a transition. Just going to the next place. Yeah. And when people around you are relaxed and love you, you get there easier. It's very powerful, actually. But something I don't think you're really going to have to worry about too soon.

1:02:44But just in case, I think that's the thing to remember. There's no loss in death. There's only more. You get more. And it's the nature of life. It comes in cause. This is the way it is. So sex death money. Money. Okay, money. I know. Money is not it. It's big of a concept. It's a big issue. Of course not. No, it's not an issue. Well, could I knew you were going up on me? Mostly I don't have money because I keep giving it away. Oh yeah, I'm good for that too. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, that's okay. That's okay. So money anyway, you know how the old saying is, money's through to all of you. No, no, no, no.

1:03:26Loving money over loving people and life is the root of all of you. And if you really get that money, we'll ebb and flow as you need it when you need it. So we hit most of the Scorpio things. I think the thing that's most, besides maybe this acts a little bit, but the transformation, like the caterpillar, letting your guts turn to soup because when you trust life, you've got a healthy body, when you use it and you like it, and you take good care of it, you are feeding the butterfly. And that's all you have to do. Don't violate your body. Don't hurt your body. Don't think of your body as something separate.

1:04:18It's you. And it's a treasure. And you're lucky you have such a nice one. Not everybody has a nice one. They have other problems. So being grateful. It's like being grateful of your body is like a joy of being alive. Just remind yourself of these things. You know, there was a famous, the most famous American psychologist in the 1800s was William James. And he said that the discovery, the great discovery of this time, which it really wasn't, because it was discovered before them too, but is that you have a generation that knows it has the power to choose its own attitudes. You have the power to choose your attitude on anything and anyone and most particularly on yourself.

1:05:15And I want to tell you this thing that happened to me. I don't know if it'll be helpful or not. I hope so. I had wounds from my childhood. And this is when I was opening. And I kept thinking, okay, I keep feeling this grief inside. I must have done something wrong. I just feel so bad. Why? I'm worried about this all the time. And so I was doing this deep meditation. And I went so deep. I went into this like black hole. And I said, there must be something there that I don't know. And this booming voice came out of the black hole and said, there's nothing there. No. So what I was worrying about was superficial stories about life, about my childhood, the expectations as a psychologist and just that there must be secret things that I haven't faced.

1:06:18And when I realized nothing there, I just burst out laughing. And I realized there's nothing there. And this is the big revelation for you. And I can tell by the way you're taking it, you don't believe it yet. But when you believe it, when you feel it, and you can cultivate remembering it, push your soul, there's nothing there. You're good. You're a good person. And even when you're not good, you're good, because you have to make mistakes. And everybody has to make mistakes, and that's how you learn from mistakes. What you have to know is when you make mistakes, you see it and you're not afraid to look at it.

1:06:53If you're going to be judgmental about it, you're going to be hard on yourself or somebody else. You're not going to be able to look at it properly. You're going to see it really for it, why it is. I'm going to stake you actually made. Be kind to you. That's the main thing I want to keep telling you. And it's not enough for me to tell you, I can keep feeling it. It's not enough. I've got to find another way to make you feel it. No, it's something I'm actively working on. Yeah, yeah. You are. I know that it's like a don't worry. It's like a thing that I have to really work on. I'm tough on me for sure.

1:07:30One thing that might help is reality is transformed, including this concern. Increment by increment, moment by moment, realization by realization.

1:07:50So all I see is you have a little girl laughing. Laughing and laughing that you thought it was so serious. That was why I told you the story. There's nothing there. Because there's nothing there. You don't know there's nothing there. Yeah. You're still suspicious. There's something there. Yeah. And I had an experience which told me because I went to the depth of, I said, I want to know what's there. When I was doing this thing, and I want to know what's there. I don't care if I drop dead. I'm willing. Whatever it is, I want to know what's there. Because I was so willing. And I was like, this waiting to hear what was this going to be, I got there's nothing there.

1:08:33When you come, I feel like when you come to the ether with earnestness, it will always answer you. It does. It does. It's your higher self and God itself. It's just a dimension that we have access to that we've been conditioned to think we don't. But we do. And the more you use it, the more you have it. And I have access to F too. Absolutely. And 100%. We get to tell you nothing about that. 100 % has access to us. You might as well strap up. That's right. And you know why it already loves us. Not all of it. There's some of the various energies out here. The those energies are shadows of yourself and the culture around you.

1:09:20They are not heaven. No. God in the energy that higher self energy it always loves you. It never, ever doesn't. No, I know that's true. And shadow energies, you know, demonetically kind of things. Those are fears projected into a form. Those and Scorba is good at doing that because they have very good imagination. And they can tune in to other people's fears. Yeah. I could remember one time I was doing a private consultation and this is when I was doing family counseling with a Filipino woman. And I realized that her culture had given her demons. I didn't know anything about. I couldn't even make sense of it.

1:10:08I couldn't sort of process it. And all I could say is there is, you know, some of those things are old. Let them go. They don't need to be here. In this life, in this now, you have dominion over this piece of the planet you're sitting in. You have it over anybody else, over anything else. And your higher self resides in every cell of your body. If you will let it speak to you at all times. This I know is the fact, and this is how you can heal yourself of almost anything. But you have to do it. You have to surrender to the feeling of it. Yeah. And surrendering is hard. Yeah, it is. It is hard. It is.

1:10:53And you have to get like, I got with that thing. I said, you know, I'm so tired of being harassed by the sphere in this worry. What do I need to see that I'm not seeing? And the guy that was with me, who I was doing this with, he got freaked out because I start laughing. I was laughing. I thought, this is the cosmic joke. There's nothing there. You know, but you have to live through that to know it's true. It helps if I tell you the truth of it because I can relive it and remember it and feel it and you can feel me feeling it. Yeah. And so that does help. Yeah. But ultimately, it's yours, you know, you will.

1:11:32And it will grow on you. It will get easier because you want it. See, the only thing that makes you believe in your shadow about yourself is there's things you don't want to let go of that you don't want to admit you don't want to let go of. Yeah. I want to be really nice and good and everything, but I want to hold on to this piece. I want to have power over this piece. I want to have dominion here. And when you do that, you're not owning the truth of your power and who you are. And it's a typical Scorpio thing to do, by the way. They get hung up on it a lot. Do you know Scorpio is the most powerful healers in the world?

1:12:08I believe that. If they were just let go and not care about all this other stuff. Just be good for its own sake to tell the truth as best they can whenever they can. And be kind. Nothing else to do. And take life as an adventure. See what comes up next. Somebody hands you a bunch of crabs like, you know, that doesn't smell very good. I don't take a one. That's all. You don't have to get mad. You don't have to smack them in the face. You don't have to get them back at them. You don't have to remember forever so they'd pay. No, no, that's all Scorpio. I'm so much better letting go of revenge. I remember I have a Pisces moon.

1:12:43Yes. You said the right word. That's right. I'm a little less gung -ho on the man. Yeah, and you know what else? You have Venus and Capricorn, right? Where are you here? Thank you. You have Venus and Capricorn. I sure do. So you're very serious about when you love. Oh, yeah. Very serious about it. Part core. Sometimes a little hard on yourself and not an joy in there because she's too hard on yourself. Yeah. And maybe even on the person who you're loving, you may be a little judgmental with them. And the Pisces moon will help you a lot just laugh and you know, Jupiter and cancer is tremendously sensitive.

1:13:24You don't want to get your feelings hurt so much. I'll tell you a secret since you know about astrology a lot. Okay. Every sign and every planet has a high note and a low note. Yes. And whenever you feel a little stuck on anything or you're looking a little negatively at anything, in your chart or anybody else. Okay. You start to say, okay, how is the low note the one that's being practiced? And the antidote will be the high note. You don't have to give up being sensitive like a cancer. You just have to find the high note. Cancer tends to want people to emotionally agree with them to validate that it's true.

1:14:06You really don't need that. What's beautiful about cancer is how they nurture people. And you've got Jupiter and cancer. When you love somebody, when you want to take care of them or nurture them and when you want to be a good mother, you will. And you've got also the venus and capricorn to make it serious. You will actually do it. Got a lot of capricorn. I do. Capricorn is actually my favorite sign actually. I like them a bit. Mine too. Pisces and capricorn are my favorites. And you know why? Because they're earnest. Yeah. Pisces is sincere and soft and sweet. Yeah. So sincere. I love Pisces for that.

1:14:47Yeah, me too. The earnestness is like you can't beat it. And my capricorn is just the loyal. They're earnest. They mean what they say. They don't really try to fool you ever. Man. They care about it. They really care about it working out. And this is why I say when I look at you and I felt your energy, I could already tell all that. I could feel that. That's why when I get the Scorpio song and dance and all of it, I'm really a stupid, secret demon inside me. I'm careful about it. I'm going to come out. I don't believe it. I don't buy it. I don't believe it. Yeah. And it's not there except when you put it there because you believe it.

1:15:21Don't believe it. Sometimes I can give it the angry. I might. Okay. Yeah. The Scorpio can be very angry. Even Capricorn can be very angry when it feels that what is sensible and good is being betrayed. They don't like that. They're not tolerance for that. Yeah. And the cutting off of people is very... I love Taurus too. I do too. I love Taurus. I'm my top 38 Pisces. I mean, yeah, Pisces Capricorn and Taurus. Yeah. Well, Taurus is funny for me because my mother is a Taurus. Her sister is a Taurus. My grandmother was a Taurus. Wow. To my children or Taurus. And I have three planets in Taurus. Wow.

1:16:01So I know Taurus. Yeah. And when my boys were little, two of them were Taurus'. If I would come into the room, they maybe took out all the toys and his big mess. And I would say, wow. You guys have been having a good time. Look at all the things you took out. Would you help Mommy now and put them back so we can find them the next time you want them? They say, okay, Mommy. Aww. But if I said, which I knew never to say, but if I would say something like, this room's a mess. I want you to clean it up right away. These little Taurus ones would grow roots to China. They would not budge. They will not do a thing I asked.

1:16:37Oh, that bull is real. It will not work. It's real, yeah. Taurus, you appeal to with love. It's ruled by Venus. And it's a great thing to know almost about everybody. Some people will betray that. Taurus never will. I love it. Yeah, it's nice. You're doing really good. I don't think you... I don't feel... When somebody's on this like you are and it's kind of open -ended, I will look for what can I tell you, what can I warn you, what can I give you that you know, you would help you out. Forget it. Thank you. And I already did. I gave it to you. Don't worry so much. Trust yourself. You're beautiful.

1:17:15Thank you. And don't be jealous because you're great. Yeah. The good person thing and the jealousy thing is literally... The good person part is my biggest thing right now. That's good. I can't believe... I'm glad that you went over that. Yeah, because that's what I would do, worry that I'm back. You know what that means? It means you're up to change it. You're up for it. I am. It's in the ether. You're up to change it. I want to... And you can't be up to change something unless you're sitting in it. Yeah. You know, it's like you can't change the diaper when it's dirty unless you can smell it and you know something's wrong.

1:17:48Yeah. So that's okay. That's not bad. Yeah. Psychically, you're looking at places where you are hard on yourself where you have conditioning from your... Not only your culture, but... She's got it. It's in our DNA from hundreds of generations. It's in our culture. It's in our own personal family. There is so much we take on to transform. And the good thing is, God built us to transform stuff. And so to be aware of it isn't too bad. I would say for you, it's... It's almost for final annihilation. Because you just... You don't want it. It's not who you are. Yeah. And if you forget it once in a while, the antidote is kindness to yourself.

1:18:39Compassion for the fact that you're buying into something that's harsh and not true. But like you said, it's up for you now. As a Scorpio who takes that stuff way too seriously and gets often stuck in it, accentuate your capacity to be a healer. Accentuate that jealousy is a denial of your own beauty and it's not true and you don't want it. High school. I grew up that. You know, just that. Just give it a raspberry. You know, just no. I love raspberries. Yeah. I don't know how many men there were. The patience of them. Yeah, yeah, it's true. There's other things coming up and they're not all here when I'm trying to find them, but they're funny.

1:19:28They make me smile. It's easier than you think. That's the other thing. You've made it way too hard. Have I? Yeah. I believe you. You believe it's hard. Because we'll look the world to mess, right? People are jealous, right? People are doing mean things, right? So it's easy to kind of confirm that drama. But the truth is we are in a moment of profound transformation and your ability and your transformer, you came here to be a transformer. So your ability to transform is right in your own hands. And that's why I'm trying to make light of all this stuff because you got it. And it is light too. It's light.

1:20:09It's almost like a sphere of light. Feel this energy. You know, I'm going to touch you. Just feel it. Oh, I feel it. There you go. That's it. That's it. Okay, there it's getting stronger. That energy is always yours. You can always heal yourself. You can always transform anything with it. Is it your energy? Well, I'm telling Heavenly Energy. It's Heaven's energy. And we all have it. I'm just a good sender. That's cool. Because I like it. That's cool. I like, I'm good at receiving like a, like I catch messages and things and send like colors and energy. But I can't always do it on command. But when I, it's in my heart.

1:20:57Like, you know, when I say, when you yell to the ether with earnestness, it talks back to you. Yes. Every time I've ever come to the ether to move something through me, it has. Excellent. Excellent. But I have to really mean it. You have to mean it. Well, otherwise we're doing the dance. We're doing the appearance thing. Which is, which is old style thinking. That's what the world's dancing to. And it's useless. It's useless. It just waste time and hurts us. Being earnest is a kind of innocent place where you really don't know what's coming next. I always like to say, be filled with expectancy, but don't have any expectations.

1:21:36You don't have an idea of how it's supposed to be. Just expect something wonderful. Something wonderful is coming every day. All the time, in every moment, when you're sleeping, when you're awake, and it's going to happen more and more and more and more because the world is opening. And you're going to be in the vanguard of people opening, and that's why you're going to have a place. You're going to have a place for people to catch energy from you. Because it is catching. And you want to be the beacon. You want to be able, you're running it for yourself. Which is good. But when you're running it for yourself, you're running it.

1:22:10When you're running it, you're sending it. When you're sending it, other people will feel it. And that's the job at hand for everybody. So I also want to tell you, I can feel a lot of good things happening for you. So I feel like now is a deep time for cleansing and transformation for me. Where I'm just really shedding old ideas about myself and trying to get into a wellness. I want to be well so badly. In every way, really inner and outer. I feel like I'm inherently lazy because of my Pisces move. Because it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know why Pisces are lazy? Why? Because they already know what God is and they have it already in them.

1:22:49And they know that anything trying to get it is a waste of time. Because they already have it. You already have it. You already have it. That's it. You just make it laugh. That's lazy. That's right. You're making busy work for yourself so you won't be lazy. I'm just greening. That's so real. Yeah. That's what made me because I had grand triumph that I was going to be lazy. Because I had too much like that made sense. We have to get it. It's not lazy. It's accepting the juice of the universe that is giving you so you can participate at a higher, freer, clearer level. You know, if your somebody is checking to see if the seedlings growing and you keep pulling it out to see if the roots are growing, that's what you kind of do if you keep looking for what's wrong.

1:23:34You keep pulling it out. Leave it alone. It's growing crazy. It's growing beautiful. Yeah. And everyone's so why you can stop and reflect, what did I just do? How did that happen? Why did this turn out so nice? Yeah. Or why did this not happen? Why did I get what I thought I was going to get? Yeah. And then look at it in the sense of expectancy of getting an answer probably because something else just came along with it that you don't want. And the universe is protecting you and giving you a break. Yeah. That's what I always find. But now I don't care. You know, when my house burned down, I know well.

1:24:15Doesn't matter. I'll get another one. I should tell you that story. I had a premonition. I said I'm tired of being, I didn't like fame, I was afraid of fame. I've been a hermit in my house. A beautiful dog I adored who just was a spirit of pure purity. In fact, his name was Q and Japanese. It means pure and noble. He was a pure and noble soul. He was not a regular dog. Anyway, two weeks before this happened, I just said, God, you know, I'm tired of not moving. I'm holding back on something. Or something has to happen. And I think I'm stopping it. And I got a big yes and big yellow letters. And I said, oh.

1:25:03So I said, so is it something I'm afraid of? Yes. I said, okay, I'm tired of this. Whatever it is I accept. I just, I'm tired of this. Whatever it is I accept. Two weeks later, my house burned down. Oh my God. And I lost everything. I had about three and a half million dollars worth of antiques. I had no other money. And because they weren't in short, I lost everything I had. No. And the insurance company broke me out. I didn't get my house fully paid for. The bank tried to steal my house. I went through about two or three years of just trying to get my equilibrium back. But I will tell you, why the flames were burning.

1:25:47The only thing I was concerned about was my dog. And I couldn't open any doors because it spread the fire. My house was like a five -story high torch. I'm walking away. Like I can't look at this. My car is exploding in the car port. I feel my dog is in the house. Couldn't get him out. So I walk away. I can't bear to look at it. Two hours later, I come back. My house is burnt to the ground. Only one part of the house, which is on the third level, was not burnt down. And my son, my middle son, very psychic with animals, is trying to get a fireman to go down and look in that third room to see if the dogs down there.

1:26:32And the fire chief is there and he said, look, nothing can be alive in a house that's been on fire for two or three hours. Nothing can live through it. It gets a young fireman. They go down. They remove all the debris that's in front of the door and out comes my dog. His eyes are bloodshot red from the fire. Poor baby. He comes walking up the hill and there's like the felonks of all the firemen in their black and yellow. They look like big bees coming up and he looks so lily. Wasn't that little? And the neighbors say, kill's alive. Kill's alive. And before that happened, when I was walking away, I looked to my right and I had all these antiques in my artwork.

1:27:25I sculpt and paint. I have a high criteria, sort of like Michelangelo, really good stuff. I thought there was a great artist and everything was burnt. And I remember looking to my right and I said, oh well, things twinkle in and they twinkle out. There's nothing you can do about it. That's the way it is in the universe. And I didn't care anymore. And then I looked to my left and I said to, I had all my work, my writings, my computer, everything, this computer did survive. Hey. Yeah, it was a miracle, totally. I had a lot of miracles that day. So anyway, I looked to the left and I say, okay, I'll just have to rewrite it or find it another way.

1:28:12And then I looked at it ahead and I said, but when I had said to the universe, I accept, I said, do not accept for kill. Kill has his own lives. Right. And I do not accept that he died. And it looked inevitable. Yeah. And then this thing, he came out. The fire and was freaked out, the fire chief. Of course he went. He thought like I was a witch or something. I don't know what he thought. He was afraid because he's not possible. Not possible that dog survived. And everybody who was there thought it was a miracle. And it was a miracle. He did die seven years later from the effects of the smoke. Seven years is quite a long time.

1:28:58Yeah. So anyway, it's just one of those things. You gotta trust the universe.

1:29:10There's another thing I can do as well as this chart. And that is, it's called solar return. And it tells you it's another chart for the year from your birth date on June 12th. Of this year we're just been in to June 12th to next year. It goes from birth date to birth date. And that would be the solar return for that year. Or we could skip all we've already been through and just go June 12th next year. But probably because you've already still halfway through. So we could do that. You want to do that? Where were you? For sure. Let's do this one. Where were you on your birthday? I was um, uh, how am I think?

1:29:59In London. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's see what your chart looks like. And wow, look at all those planets in your 11th house. What are you doing? What's your job right now? I will produce a. Oh, excellent. Okay. Well, first of all, you have a son in the 10th house, which is usually a successful person. It's the house of career. Your basic self is there. The moon, which is represents the public often as well as your own personal unconscious. It's in Gemini. They're both in Gemini. Gemini is a very communicative likes words, likes working with words. Likes a little bit contradictions, like swittiness of things.

1:30:48And can be quite brilliant sometimes. Their capacity to use words. I always like to say the worst example of a Gemini is Trump. One of the best examples using presidents is John Kennedy, who was very eloquent. Yeah. You know, spoke very beautifully. He had a liberating. Trump has a leo rising. All ego is all. I think I have a leo rising as well. I think I have a leo rising. No, you have a Virgo rising. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. I thought I had a leo rising. It's a time is right. That's all correct, right? Yeah. Yeah. You have a Virgo rising. Oh, wow. That's awesome. And that's very serious. Virgo rising is our diligent.

1:31:35The main thing they have to be careful about is because this is a child of a smart person. You have a certain amount of anyway. Virgo likes to analyze everything. And the problem it gets into, every sign has a high note and a low note. You get in trouble when you're doing the low note version. When you do the high note, and you can get out of any low note version, just by moving to the high note. You don't have to change your energy at all. Your energy is your energy. Using it at the best level is the secret of success, really. And we're all in what I call old -style thinking in this world. It's judgmental.

1:32:15It's black and white. It's authoritarian. It's not honest. There's a lot of problems that are all part of a thinking problem, which is simplistic and judgmental. Virgos, because they're key word is, I analyze. They have quick lines. I analyze everything. Every detail they don't want to miss anything. They want to know how this worked. What did they? You know, they want to know it all. That is brilliant if that's all they're doing. But what they get sucked into sometimes is who's right. I want to do the right thing. That's the wrong thing. You have entered a bad place. Because to use this talent well, you have to think beyond duality.

1:32:59Because you will get caught up in self -criticism. You just get too tight into the analytical of it. And to be win -win, to see the bigger picture. It's really helpful to just plain being brilliant. Being useful. There's that. And then the moon and the sun both in Gemini. The sun, as I said in the 10th house, is very conducive to success in career. Plus, you've got Mercury there. Mercury is in cancer. Mercury rules Gemini. It's a very happy with Gemini energy. It's energy, it's communication, it's mental quickness. But it's in cancer. So, this means a strong influence of the mother. And it means on your mental style, actually.

1:33:56You smile, you're so cute. So anyway, so it's a strong influence of the mother on the mental style. But it's also in your 10th house. So it's going to influence your career. Yeah. That influence will be influential. For good or ill sometimes. I can heavily relate. Yeah, that's the one thing you always say about cancer. When people have a cancer moon, I say listen. Guarantee the mother is a strong influence. For good or ill sometimes both. You can't get away from it. It's because it's an emotionally gripping connection. And when it's in your nervous system, your mother's fears, for instance, you're going to absorb them as a baby.

1:34:39So there's a very strong influence with this cancer moon thing. You don't have a cancer moon. You only have mercury there. So it's like a, it's a particular energy filter on analyzing. It's going to have the influence of your mother. So that's in your, in your house, a career. Now the other thing about the moon, the moon, is the house. This is philosophy. And this is a career. When moon is in those signs, it often represents the public. The public's view of the person. Okay. So it conjunct your mid -heaven. It's only four degrees away from your actual mid -heaven. Your son is not that close, but it is in the house of career.

1:35:30So this moon has a powerful influence. But it comes from the direction of a philosophy. Not just an edic, but, and it's in Sinsis and Gemini. I don't know exactly how that's going to manifest. Jesus, do you have a finger of God too? Here's the second person. I never see them now. This is the second one. Okay, a finger of God is an aspect that has, it's like an arrowhead. Do you see this arrowhead? These two things are quenconceives. These are the two sides of the triangle of the arrowhead. And this is the base. The star here, the green star. So your finger of God is pointing to Pluto. I have a finger of God, and it also points to Pluto.

1:36:14It's kind of a heavy edict from the universe. In your case, you're going to use Saturn as one side of the base. And that mercury we're just talking about. As the other side. So mercury and Saturn, judgmentalness, but in Taurus, I have Saturn and Taurus also. You can drunk that degree. Ten degrees. It's a finger of God. Which means what? It means it's sort of like an energetic setup from your higher self to focus all the energies to make you look at this. That's the more accurate way to say. Okay. And the Pluto. Like a focus? Like an innate focus? Yeah, like a purpose. Big purpose. Purpose not to be ignored.

1:37:05It's a finger of God. You can't ignore it. And I remember when I saw those, I had I go, yeah, yeah, I do. I have that. And to this day, I can, I know that my main purpose, which really is to heal fear and help people feel love, so that will be healthy. That's sort of basically what it is. I still know that I have to be up for facing people's Pluto fears all the time. And you do too. And Saturn in Taurus is in the house of philosophy, is to have a kind of philosophical understanding of the nature of the earth, especially a loving earth, an innocent earth, taking it very seriously. And so it's a beautiful combination.

1:37:51I like my Saturn in Taurus. And I have Jupiter conjunct it in Taurus, also. So I have it coming from both ways. Expansion and limitation. All. Okay. I'm not directly towards the Earth. Towards the Earth. Yeah, it's respect for the Earth, love of the Earth, knowledge from the Earth, feeling the Earth, caring about the Earth. And when it's Saturn, it's like a responsibility. I have Jupiter conjunct it, so I have the joy of it as well. It's a kind of heavy, and it's in your house, the philosophy, which is also caused by Taurus. So Taurus, the earthiness of it, you may be a Gemini with a Gemini moon, but you have some earthy power in that Saturn in Taurus and Virgo rising.

1:38:34Very earthy air sign, which is a very big asset, because air signs are a glib and quick and smart and bright, but Earth sites are deep and solid and touch. What's physically real? So it's good. Wow. Yeah. So you have your Venus in Leo in the house of Aquarius' house, friends, social associations. And that Venus in Leo is opposed Neptune in Aquarius. Neptune in Aquarius, and these two planets that's in South node, South node, just tail of the dragon. This represents what you've already done, what you already know and understand. You've been there before. Knowledge you have. It is Aquarius. Yes, it's in Aquarius.

1:39:26You know this. This is the tail of the dragon. This is my mom's in Aquarius. Yeah, it's made through that. Yeah. And the head of the dragon is in Leo. That's what you're going. Creative, shining, tension, liking it. In a social way, not too far off from your Venus. Good energy for being successful with people. People will like you for it. Uranus is ahead of its time thoughts. It's very serious. You happen to have that Uranus square Saturn. This is the hardest thing you have in your chart. But when you have hard things in your chart, in my experience, the hardest thing is always the most fruitful thing.

1:40:06I have five squares in my chart. And everything hard in my chart is where I am unique. I discovered stuff that took me sometimes 20 years to figure out. But I know I'm bringing something that wasn't here before. Yeah. So it's hard. But it's things that don't just come easy. They're not, hmm, it's what's that again? How do I help? And so your what's that again here is Saturn in that comfortable earth place. Saturn is happy in earth, likes, likes, likes, torus. And Uranus likes Aquarius. It's the ruler of Aquarius. That their square is that they're both fixed signs. And they have a fixed reality.

1:40:47Torus has a fixed reality of an earthiness. And Aquarius has a fixed reality of an airiness, of a mental version of things. Not earthy. Uranus in Aquarius, which is in your natal chart. Uranus right now, being in torus, is trying to make a heterox time, a heterox time thought that's very mental and bringing it into torus, the earth, and make it normal. That's your only square. Oh no, it isn't. He got another one here. Venus square Saturn. Oh, you got two Saturn. Got T square. Okay. So we just took it back to this one. Okay. Yeah. This is kind of like... Saturn square Uranus. Like, yeah, what does it mean?

1:41:33Like, ground, trying to ground things that aren't necessarily grounded? Well, first of all, we should notice, this is in your house of Leo creativity. So you have Neptune in Aquarius. Neptune's not particularly happy in Aquarius either, because Neptune is water, mystical thought. Aquarius is mental. It loves humanity. What Grace Aeabat Aquarius is. They love humanity. It's people they don't care for too much. And that's very understandable, because you can have a philosophical, real love of humanity. Yeah. And structure a lot of your thought for it, but people do have your crazy. Yeah. For many reasons, that have to do with the people, and that have to do with you.

1:42:15Either way, it could be. It could be all of that. Anyway, you have Capricorn on the 5th House. So you're very serious about this. But in this 5th House, you have these two planets, outer planets, not personal planets. They're not conjunct, which is interesting, that makes them not too potent. Not too... When something's conjunct, it's like one energy becomes very powerful. While they're both in Aquarius, and they're both in the 5th House, they're wide apart. So they're operating separate entities, but similar in that, the planet is a separate entity, but they're both in Aquarius. Okay. You're really comfortable working hard, loving the Earth.

1:43:02Yeah. Having a good philosophy about that, real comfortable with that. But it's part of your finger of God that points to Pluto and Sages, which is a different philosophy, and not so comfortable with it. And it has to do with your childhood, too, interestingly. Hmm. It's interesting that it points to your childhood. So what would you say is the most unusual or shocking or difficult or something about your childhood? Hard to handle, hard to swallow, anything a little bit hard. I had a trouble relationship with my father. Yeah, I would guess that with the Taurus, Fathers Saturn. Yeah. You know, I remember having a...

1:43:51I did family counseling, and I remember having this insight that every child would prefer or choose the parent who they felt at the deepest level their life depended on. So even if it was the worst person, and they were the worst person to them, if they felt their life depended on it, that was the person they would follow. And then of course, as they grew older, they'd have to disengage from that because you can't keep doing that, because your life doesn't depend on them anymore. But it did. And it's fair enough. And it's a very powerful program in the physical plane that your life is dependent on something.

1:44:30And it's hard to undo and you have to kind of realize that anything that is difficult to undo is there because at some level you believe your life's dependent on it. And once you keep saying that and seeing it in real life, my life does not depend on it. It's not what it is. You begin to transform it. So it's one of the things that we all have to learn in somewhere or another. So the Saturn is the father, the moon is the mother. Neptune and Aquarius is a kind of unusual place. It's a kind of a combination of mystical feelings with intellectual desire to be human. It's very unusual, and I think rich actually.

1:45:19A lot of power in it. And it's the way Pisces and Aquarius are really, and see, I am a Pisces and I have an Aquarius moon and I have Venus in the Aquarius. I'm real familiar with Aquarius and how it can be very mental and very humane. But since this isn't your house of creativity and because it's square your Saturn and to us and because it's trying your Sun above all, it's a deep part of you. It's a kind of magical component. It's a unique quality and it is in your house of creativity. So you will use it. And it's a trine. So it's actually fairly easy for you. It's a connection that comes naturally.

1:46:03It trines just feel like they're the same. Not the same, exactly, but... I can... I can't... You got it. Yeah, you can feel it. So now the oppositions are different. And of course now you got Neptune in Aquarius opposed Venus in Leo. This is Leo's house. This is Aquarius' house. This is called reciprocal. There's a kind of double fold over there and separate things, but they're really kind of related in a back -handed way. So your Venus, when you love, you like to shine, you have a lot of pride in it. Now Uranus in Aquarius, Uranus is the ruler of very content. They're very much powerful there.

1:46:51It's trying your Sun. Also very powerful aspect to have. It's a trying, futuristic thinking, house of creativity, to your house of career. You really have a very positive chart for creating whatever you want to create. And it will have to have something to do with humanity because Uranus in Aquarius makes you do that. Wow. That's amazing. You care about it anyway. I think, did I leave anything out here? Oh, Mars and Lever. What one? This square? Yeah, okay. What do you do when you're around? Venus is square Saturn. This is a little bit part of your difficulty with your father. Squares mean when it comes to doing something right or analyzing which is Saturn.

1:47:39To be creative and showing of yourself and radiant and love, it feels squelched. It feels stepped on. It's not a good flow. It's square. And like I said to you, the things I learned the best were the difficulties. And what it is is that both of these things are valid. Very valid. And the more I got into what the validity was in each thing, I kept getting more insights which made me a more complex analyzer of everything. So that's why that's one of the examples of it. The other thing is you have Mars and Lever, which is a pose, Jupiter and Aries. This is in your house, a Scorpio transformation.

1:48:26Jupiter is a very powerful, expansive thing. But it's in a very personal, the personal, sign of your body, Aries. You know, it's the first sign, first house. Sign of your body, expansive. So as you, it will cause you to go through transformations about knowing, understanding, and loving your body. So that's one of the nice things about having this Jupiter and Aries. And it is. So this is specifically about the body. It is about your body because it's Aries. Physically? Well, it not, it could be physically, it doesn't have to be. It's how you inhabit your body, how you use your body to be in the world.

1:49:07And Jupiter is so expansive that it actually has a lot of good aspects. It makes you, can be very confident sometimes about your body. It's rather expansive and happy. And Aries is ruled by Mars. And of course, it is opposed to your Mars, which is in Libra, which is that opposite of Aries. It is, you know, it's ruled by Venus and wants to make nice and wants everything balanced, does not like disarmony. It doesn't want to hear an argument, it gives me stomachache. It's very different. And so you have Mars and Libra, which is a little harder for you. It's in the second house, but it also is beautiful because...

1:49:47I can see this. This is awesome. Yeah, yeah. I can relate to this. But it also has a benefit in its trying your son, which is part of that big benefit, is that when you are assertive, you tend to do it gracefully. And it is appreciated by other people. So you don't scream and yell and it hits somebody on the head. You really become rather forceful that there being some harmony here. And that's a good, that's a talent. That's a good thing. That's a good thing. And you have it in the second house, and sometimes it needs to be where you make money. By being this gracious, beautiful, artistic, super artistic, it's about the arts music, producing everything, it's all about that.

1:50:33Actually, I still need, as a paint artist. Yeah, it would be that also. Yeah. It's all the same frequency of creativity that cares about beauty and a harmony being created. Are you in a relationship? Yeah. What sign is the person? She's Sagittarius. Oh, interesting, Sag. Well, Sages are very optimistic. I have a great granddaughter who is a little Sag, and she's just a little character. She loves everybody. She's a high -dewer person. She's just there. She's there, being there. You know, she's so cute. You do have Pluto and Sagittarius. So there's going to be some deep revel. She will teach you certain things, or you will teach yourself by encounters, whichever way it goes.

1:51:18Part of that finger of God pointing to this Pluto and Sagittarius. Yeah. This is the seventh house, and it characterizes the relationship. And usually the sign that's on the cusp of this house is what you want your relationship to look like. It's not necessarily what the sign of the person is, but more it's what you want your relationship to look like. You want a harmonious, spiritual, beautiful, pice and type relationship. Almost other worlds. I mean, and Sagittarius kind of likes that kind of stuff too, so it's not a bad choice. And because you are fire, an error, both, it's very complimentary, and your Venus is trying your Pluto in Sagittarius.

1:52:05I don't know what degree her son is, but if it's in early degrees, is she in the beginning of Sagittarius, do you think December? She's December 16th. Yeah, certainly. So I said, that's it, this is very nice. So your Venus is trying her son. It's one of the most romantic connections you can have. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. That's nice how it works. I just never get over it how it keeps working. When I first decided I wasn't going to be a narrow -minded scientific bore and say this can't be true, I decided to prove how it wasn't true by taking a course in it, and I got... I mean, little explosions went off in my brain.

1:52:50Like a past life memory of being in the astrologer, all came awake in my head. And I couldn't get over it. I'm like a heart to talk. And I did about 2 ,000 charts. People famous, people I knew, people I didn't. Just did charts, did charts, did charts. Because it's like learning a language, and I began to sense what it was. And that's how I learned. Is there anything else I didn't do that you could think of? I might talk about that you don't... It doesn't mean something to you that I should have said. No, from this one, I think you've gone... I think you've gone into everything from this one. And this is my birth chart, right?

1:53:23This is your night -old chart. My night -old chart. This is your solar return. This is what's coming up for you in the earhead. Okay. This is a whole lot of the thing. This is the one that has cancer rising. And the sun is in the... It's the 12th house. So this year, it's probably much more introspective in... This is this here on that year. It's this year. It starts June in 23th. Okay. So from June to June, 2024. So it began then. So your sun is in the 12th house. Your moon is in the 10th in areas. You're going to be more yourself than ever. But Neptune and Pisces, that's such a deep mystical thing.

1:54:05And your mid -heavens and Pisces. This is almost the kind of magical. This is really interesting because this year has been quite a crazy year for me. Yeah, it would be. It's been probably the most intense year of my entire life. And you know, one of the reasons that intense too is because the sun in the 12th house... is the sorrows of stuff you haven't processed. The self is having to experience it. Look at it somehow. They say that Pisces house is called the house of sorrows. Which always annoys me because I think it's that's the house of mystical revelation myself. But to get to mystical revelation, you have to say sorrows.

1:54:46So that's why in a way it's accurate. But it's not emphasizing the positive. You do have Venus in the first house in Leo, which makes you... which is just like your natal. And it's the same degree. Wow! That is kind of unusual. It makes it very powerful. And that it's in your first house. What is that? Okay. Venus is how you love. And in your first house, Hey, we've got Venus in the first house. They're attractive. You suddenly... even if you weren't attracted, you suddenly become very attractive. You do have an opposite Pluto again. Boy, you are here to do Pluto. I'm a good person to talk to because I'm so am I.

1:55:30I really want to know more. Honestly, this year has been really intensely crazy for me. Okay. He satirons in Pisces. That's hard to try to be pragmatic and logical and have the philosophy. And it's all in this mystical sea. But Venus in Leo in the first house is a big advantage. Except that the cusp is on cancer. So you're very emotional. And it seems overwhelming because cancer rising is very sensitive. And people might even think you're a touchy. They might think you've been overly touchy. Did you get that at all this year? Yeah. That's the cancer rising because you are. You feel a lot of things.

1:56:10And cancer likes to have agreement. And when there isn't agreement, it sometimes feels like... Let me tell you one more time. Cancer clients. They will tell me the same thing five times. And I'll say, you know, I did hear you when you told me. I just don't agree. Oh, well, let me tell you again. Because if I'm not agreeing, they believe I don't hear them. So the point of all that is cancer. It's very emotional and needs to feel felt and heard. It's a deep thing. So anyway, that's what gives you some of the characteristics of now. It also gives you that Pisces mid -heaven, which is kind of mystical.

1:56:55It's got Saturn and Pisces in the House of Philosophy, which is also mystical. The relationship may have been a little bit more analytical than it used to be. Because Pluto, although Pluto and Sage, you know, Natalie, and she's a Sage. So now it's in Capricorn, but it's in your seventh house. But it's opposed Venus in your first house. So Venus, how you love, it's Leo, it's shining. It's... it's can junk your own natal Venus. It's a Venus return. It's returning to your natal Venus. And when you have a return to a planet, you sort of have to relive what you took on. When you were born. Like when you have a Saturn return, you have to relive it.

1:57:38But now you've had 27, 28, 30 years of processing it. You're reliving it, but it's not the same. Wow. So anyway, this Pluto, which is in your seventh house, any difficulties in your relationship? About currently... Who should do water or anything? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because Capricorn is pretty strong... It's in a very, very relationship. You know, it's one second away of being in Aquarius. This is 29 degrees and 59 minutes. And I would just count it and call it in Aquarius, except it's retrograde, which means when it moves, moves this way. So it keeps staying there a little bit. But it is on the way out.

1:58:29So it's... So this is the problem? Judgmentalness about something. And a concern about doing it the right way. Capricorn gets a little bit stern, not stern. Well, yeah, sometimes stern. But... I think I've been playing into this recently, because I think I've been playing into this recently, like feeling it more than I ever have before. Because in past relationships, I've lost the concern very quickly. And that has led to long toxic relationships. Yeah. Where I'm just pushing the toxicity back in my mind. So give me a word picture of right now, how that might look for you. Currently. Currently.

1:59:15In my current relationship, it's financial success is yet to come. She's not on the same page as me in terms of... Is it a header behind? Very behind. Okay. Like she... Well, this will bring Capricorn judgment. Capricorn thinks everybody's got to hold their own way. Yeah. You got to do the right thing so you don't get behind. These are going to be the inherent messages you will be giving, whether you're thinking there was even saying it. It just means that your seventh house for you, you are concerned with responsibility. Mm -hmm. This is true. This is true. You don't like it if there's not responsibility.

2:00:01And when Pluto's there, it's a little bit scary. Pluto triggers wounds of the past, things that aren't processed properly. Yeah. Pluto is serious stuff. And it's whatever we're working on. So it may just be good enough for you to figure out about being judgmental about it and that it really doesn't matter. But you will do what you want to do for you. And you will ask her to take care of this. She is a said, she can move from one thing to another thing before you know it, she can be off and running and doing something else. It's not... Capricorn goes, it's not happening. You didn't do it. You didn't pay it on time.

2:00:37My grandson is... Nana, you have to put a money aside for the property taxes. You didn't put enough in. It's always so serious. And I laugh. You know, I say, oh honey bun, you know, you have to remember I'm a Pisces. First of all, I'm fairly flip about it. I don't worry that way. Not that I have money. I don't. But I don't care about it so much. It's not my thing. Well, for you this year, it will change next year. Won't be the same. But it's something for you to look at. That you don't want to be a judgemental of her over your fears. Very big thing not to do in a relationship. You can tell her about it.

2:01:18You can say, you know, gee it makes me nervous. I'll have to get over that. You know, because I'm sure you can handle it, but it doesn't make me nervous. But you're not doing that. It's okay to share it. But not like you better chick -ticks. So it's going to be upsetting. Don't do that. That's what doesn't work. And Capricorn can do that. Capricorn energy can do that. Because it's quite pragmatic. And I'm that. No, you're not usually. No, you're not usually at all. I'm definitely not. No, you're not that at anywhere or not anywhere. But this year. Okay. In a relationship. Yeah, this year has been a big, I got out last year.

2:01:54I got out of a relationship. I was in says high school. A seven year relationship that turned extremely abusive on both sides. Oh, that's one way to end quick. Yeah. And then I got out of the relationship by finding the person I'm currently with. I kind of realizing what this beautiful love was. And very. Really, no kidding. Isn't it great? Yeah. Well, you know, one of the things I always say about relationships. You can make almost any relationship work unless the person is abusive or not kind to you. And that is the criteria for ending it. Always. Because you have to have a relationship. Rise or fall of its own weight.

2:02:35Now you can say, you know, I'd like to stay with you, but when you call me whatever blah, blah, blah. It hurts me and it's not acceptable. And they get even angrier. Like how dare you tell me that. You say, see you later. I'll be there. You'll leave. You'll walk out the door. So before you is to do that. Yeah. Well, you know, that's your cancer. That's what you're, that's your mercury and cancer. That's okay. Because you learned a lot of nuance in that. You're not going to do that again. No. You're still going to spot it really much quicker. Now, the other thing for this year, you do have three planets in tor...

2:03:11No, this isn't a planet, it's the head of the dragon. But you have two planets in torus and the head of the dragon in torus. And let's see this one. Five. Oh, this is close. Okay, this is a square. But this is Jupiter and Venus. Anything Jupiter's aspects usually has a positive hit on it. It usually has sometimes some expansive quality. So if it's kind of a negative thing, it might get a little expansive. But usually it's just optimism. It's just, it's just, it's just as if Jupiter's a good aspect to rulers that. And Jupiter's square, and it's exactly five degrees, almost six, square, six degrees, Venus and Leo.

2:03:50Now, this square is Jupiter's in torus. Jupiter in torus is earthy, it's good. It's very physical, it's ruled by... Torus ruled by Venus, it's great. That is, square Venus in Leo is... Leo's fire, it is not earth. It just wants to burn and shine. So, it's really kind of good stuff. You don't really have... The most difficult thing you have is Pluto in the seventh house. I think. Maybe Saturn. Which is the like critical. Yeah, yeah. And worrying about that. And of course, you know, for self -feeling, I think having cancer arising made you super sensitive. So, yeah. It's been extremely sensitive this year.

2:04:39Yeah, yeah. It's been very like, it's funny when you describe these feelings. This feels like my, this year. Yeah, yeah. It's been very much like mystical and like, not understanding my own thoughts and just feeling very disconnected from reality. And I don't know, when you're describing this. This is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's your nature. That's your basic own nature. And it's in the fifth house of creativity. So, you're gonna encounter that all your life, actually, but different varying. You know, one of the things about astrology is so neat. Even the same aspect. There's disveraging of it in this time frame.

2:05:16And the very same aspect has a different version of it because it's connecting in a different context. And there's a different, so you gotta keep looking at the energy of it and use it to your benefit. What I like about astrology is nice to see where it is. Oh, that's why. Yeah. Oh, this has been extremely helpful. Isn't it interesting? Yeah, it's really amazing. Yeah, it's really amazing.

2:05:50I'm gonna go back to the next one. Yeah.

2:05:59Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.