MBA2467 3 Toxic Types of People Stopping You From Growing

0:09Heyo, welcome to the$100 MBA show, helping you get better at business with every single episode. with our practical business lessons. I'm your host, your coach, your teacher, Omar Zinhome. And in today's lesson, you will learn the three toxic types of people that are stopping you and your business from growing. As they say, you are the average of the five people around you. So you gotta be very careful about who you surround yourself with. I'm talking about not only your friends and family, but we're talking about your coworkers, the people that are around you, the people in your coworking space, the people you network with, the people that you spend time with at parties, even a little bit of time with them is going to affect you.

0:52And you got to remember, when things affect you, they affect the business. You're the leader. You're the one who's steering the ship. You need to make sure that this is something that you're on high alert about and you avoid at all costs. Luckily, I got your back. I'm going to describe to you what are the three most toxic types of people you don't want to be around and how to deal with them so that you can make sure you protect yourself and your business. Let's get into it. Let's get down to business. I learned this lesson very early on in my entrepreneurial career. I quickly realized there are some people that were around me that are unintentionally hurting me.

1:32They don't even know they're doing it. They're not bad people, so to speak, but their behavior is toxic and is causing problems. They are stopping me from growing. They are keeping me where I am. I'm a huge believer that this is so important. You can't afford negative influences. Business is as hard as it is. You cannot make it harder on yourself by having other people affecting you and your performance and your outlook and your positivity and your ability to move forward in your career as an entrepreneur, move forward in your business, move forward as a person in terms of personal growth. You got to cut these people out immediately.

2:14So in today's episode, I'm going to show you how to identify these people and their behavior, how to deal with them so that you can steer clear and protect yourself from their influence. Now, I just want to be very clear before we dive in. When we talk about toxic people, it's just a very reductive way to kind of describe what I'm talking about. But really, we're not trying to label individuals here. They're not inherently bad, like I mentioned, but we're talking about the behavior they are displaying, the patterns that they are perpetuating. These behaviors and patterns negatively impact you and your growth.

2:46So let's make sure we protect ourselves. We want to do this right with respect, with dignity. We don't want to badmouth them or even judge them. We just don't want to be around them because they will impact you negatively. Let's start with number one. And each one of these will become incrementally more toxic, more detrimental to you. But let's start with the first one, and it's the naysayer. The naysayer is someone who always finds a reason why it won't work. Listen, I'm not talking about somebody who's giving you useful feedback. It's important, actually, to have people around you that will challenge your ideas and push you to think critically.

3:26But naysayers take this to the extreme. They focus only on problems rather than solutions. And we're talking about somebody who does that only. If somebody challenges you or says, you know, I don't think that's going to work, but the next time around, they're like, hey, that's actually not a bad idea. Let's flesh that out together. That's not a naysayer. That's somebody who's actually balanced. Naysayer does this all the time, and they only focus on problems rather than solutions. These people can really drain your energy over time. Here's the reality. Great entrepreneurs, they don't have naysayers around them, especially in the beginning of the process, an idea, a product, a business.

4:05Why? Because ideas are very delicate in the beginning. You have to really nurture it and be a yes and kind of person or have people around you who are yes and people. Yes and is a term that's used in theater and acting where you never disagree with people, but you just add upon their ideas. So let's say somebody says, I think we should create an app that deals with AI. That's a good idea. Yes. And we should do something that deals with our strengths that helps us marry our current products with this new idea. So you see what we're saying here? We're not negating the idea. We're saying yes and we're adding to it.

4:42In a lot of ways, you have to be very determined and very positive, almost delusional to see an idea go through to the next step, to see it through fruition, to see it actually exist in the world. You know, Steve Jobs is known for having his reality distortion field around him. This might be an extreme example, but there is some truth in this. So you want to make sure that you keep naysayers at bay. So how do you deal with these people? In my opinion, it's important to listen to the concerns because sometimes they might have valid points. Always ask for constructive feedback. But if they can't provide solutions, if they just say, hey, here's the problem.

5:20I don't know any solutions or I don't have any suggestions to solutions, then take their opinions with a grain of salt. Again, this is somebody who is consistently a naysayer. And then make it a point to start avoiding this person. Surround yourself with people who believe in constructive criticism, not just criticism, not just for criticism's sake or pointing out faults. Over time, you'll know the difference. I knew somebody who was like this in my office when I was trying to start my first business, and I just avoided them at all costs. When they came up to me, so sorry, I got to get going, I'm busy.

5:51And they kind of got the hit after a while. Sometimes you'll have to confront them and just kindly say, hey, I'm really focused on working on this project. Really appreciate the initial feedback you gave me. I took it to heart. I took notes, but I'm really focused right now and I really don't have time, unfortunately, to discuss this anymore. Thanks again for your feedback. It seems a little harsh, but you need to protect you and your business at all costs. You don't owe anybody anything. Let me say that again. You don't owe anybody anything. Okay. It's not your job to appease everybody's feelings at the cost of your mentality, of your stress levels, of your business.

6:30Second toxic type, the time sucker. The time sucker is someone who consistently demands your attention, time, and energy without contributing much in return. We all know these time suckers who just love to just vent, ask you for help, ask you to do things for them, and they never actually reciprocate at a level that's even close. By the way, this could be a client who's expecting you to be available 24-7. This could be a partner who doesn't respect your work or boundaries, or even an employee who needs constant hand-holding. Somebody who's just sucking your time, who's making your life harder, wasting your precious time.

7:11I've said this a million times on this podcast over the last nearly 10 years, and I'm going to say it again. Forget relationships, forget money. Time is your most valuable asset. You can never get it back. Once the next minute goes by, you will never have it again. And it's gone. We don't know when our lives will end, but there is a set amount of time that we'll have. You got to be very, very vigilant about how you use your time because it's a very scarce, very scarce resource. I guarantee if you ask Warren Buffett, who's 93 years old, how much would you pay to go back to 83? Just 10 years. Forget about being a young man.

7:54Just go back to 83. I wouldn't be surprised if he answered most, if not all his wealth. Because what does the money mean if you're going to go? Can't take it to the grave. So you're going to encounter these time suckers. How do you deal with them? Number one, you've got to be firm with them. These are people that push, that really push the boundaries. So you've got to set clear boundaries. Make it known when you're available and when you're not. And learn to say no or delegate a task to others. Listen, I learned a little bit late in my entrepreneurial career, probably 10 years in, before I decided to master the word no.

8:30No is a very powerful word. As you progress in entrepreneurship, you are going to say no far more than you say yes. Because when you say yes, you're saying no to every other option. Again, because your time is valuable. If I say yes to doing something for a day in my life, that means I'm saying no to every other possibility, every single thing I can possibly be doing during that day. So yes is such a powerful word, but no is a good way to protect your time. So learn to say no. And how do you do that? Practice. Start with the little things. Maybe the time sucker comes by and says, hey, want to grab lunch?

9:05Just flat out and say no. Really sorry, I can't do it. You don't have to give an excuse. You don't have to give a reason. A lot of people feel like they need to give it a reason or excuse. You're busy or you're not hungry or whatever. You don't have to make anything up. You could just say no. You could just say, thanks so much, but I can't. Eventually, they will get the hint. Eventually, they will respect your wishes and you'll see more of a distance. Let's jump into the third type of toxic behavior. And this one's the worst. Worse than the naysayer. Worse than the time sucker. And that's the complainer.

9:38A complainer has an issue always. They're complaining about something constantly. They focus on what's wrong about every situation. They never actually have any gratitude for what they're doing. They just love to dump on you. They love to vent always. The complainer doesn't see the silver lining. They just see the cloud. Often, the complainer is actually a nice person. This is what makes it so dangerous because they seem like good people, but they live in a world of being a victim. They just constantly are complaining. They're constantly negative and they can really undermine your morale and create a really toxic environment, whether it's at work or life or even at a party.

10:19I actually was in the office the other day. I saw a coworker that's in my coworking space who runs her own business. And it was just, hey, hello, how are you doing? It was positive for about three seconds. And then it quickly became a complaining fest when I asked her, how are you doing? And it was like complaining about all the work she has to do in her business, complaining about her clients, complaining about the project she's working on, complaining about her restraints and restrictions. Listen, I'm sure this is valid. I'm sure that there are really worries on her mind. But people that do this always, every single time you meet them, this is incredibly draining.

10:56This drains all the energy out of you. And the complainer doesn't even see it. The thing is that when you are a complainer and when you're around complainers, it's like being around the opposite of somebody who has gratitude, who's grateful. Even when things were tough in my business, and by the way, they were tough a lot of times and not just in the beginning. And I was worried and I was stressed and I was losing sleep and my gut was totally screwed up and I could barely put anything down to eat in my stomach. even when it was then, I always felt I get to have these problems. I get to have a business.

11:31I get to have these challenges. I get to grow from it. I get to have customers that are complaining about something. Hey, if you have a customer that complaining, that means you have a customer. Okay. You get to do all this stuff. It's a privilege to be an entrepreneur. It's a privilege to have a business. We're so lucky. It's not even funny. Most of the world would dream to be in your position. And I know that you might say, you know, these feelings are valid. And this is true. There's nothing wrong with going through challenges, but there's something wrong when you have to dump it on everybody else.

11:59You might have a confidant. You might have a spouse. You might have a partner. And that person is going to work out with you. You're pushing each other. You lift each other up. And that's okay if there's a positive spin. But if it's just complaining for complaining's sake, this is not healthy for you or anybody around you. So you've got to steer clear from these people. So how do you deal with them? In my opinion, you really can't change complainers. They have to want to change within themselves. So don't try to kind of help them or have a little therapy session or tell them, hey, what are you grateful for?

12:29What's your solution to some of these problems? Or let's work it out. Let's workshop it. No, it doesn't work in my experience. They're just going to find something else to complain about. Or they'll just kind of say, oh, yeah, yeah, I know that. But, you know, I just had to tell you something and to tell you what I'm going through. Don't try to fix them. OK, I'm sure they're beautiful, nice people. But the truth is, is you really need to distance yourself from them. They're really poisonous because they'll bring you down and you'll start to adopt their behavior. It's very contagious to complain.

13:00Wingers love company. So how do you deal with them? You simply don't. You just distance yourself. You avoid them. You don't see them. And if they are saying, hey, well, let's hang out. Or again, you don't need to give a reason. I can't. Sorry, I can't. Just let it hang in the air. They'll understand that, hey, you're not a good match. And listen, I know this sounds hard to do that. Maybe it feels a little bit rude. But in business, you're going to offend people. You're going to offend people when you grow because people are uncomfortable seeing you change and not wanting to stay where they are.

13:32You just got to be comfortable with kind of ruffling some feathers. And that's okay. Why? Because the consequence, the alternative is going to cost you your mentality, your positive energy, your ability to excel and do well, and the success of your business. Not a price I want to pay. Forget it. Just cut them. So today's episode's goal was to help you recognize these toxic behaviors and then how to actively manage them when you face them. Your environment, your life environment, your business environment is your responsibility. It's under your control and you decide who influences it and how. Thanks so much for listening to The$100 MBA Show.

14:11Hope today's episode was helpful. If it was, you know what to do. Hit that follow button on whatever podcast app you're using right now, whether it's Spotify of a podcast or something else, by hitting follow, you support the show. You show the algorithm that, hey, this show needs more reach to get more listeners so that we can grow. And when we grow, we reinvest in this podcast to continue to give you amazing business lessons to help your business be the best it could be. And of course, help you be the best you could be. So thank you, Vance, for hitting follow right now. Before I go, I want to leave you with this.

14:42My default is I'm a nice guy. I like to be liked. I like to be nice. I like to be friendly and kind. The stuff I'm talking about today is really hard for me to do, but I do it because I know the alternative is not an option. And if I hurt people's feelings or people get upset, that's not on me. That's on them. You don't owe anybody anything. If you do it with a smile and you're polite and just be matter of fact about it, you did nothing wrong. Also, invite them to change. Say, hey, I don't really love being around this kind of behavior. I just want to bring it up to you. How about we change things up?

15:16Because I think if we did, this is the positive outcome that we're going to have. If they don't like that, if they're like, no, thank you, or what the hell with you, then they're not a friend anyway. That's okay. You've tried. Thanks so much for listening, and I'll check you in the next episode. I'll see you then. Take care.

15:41Thank you.