MBA2480 Q&A Wednesday: How to ask someone in your network for something?

0:09Heyo, welcome to the$100RMBA show, no fluff, just the good stuff with our practical business lessons. I'm your host, your coach, your teacher, Omar Zinhome. And today's episode is Q &A Wednesday, where we answer a question from one of you, one of our listeners. If you've got a question you want to ask, go ahead and email me over at omar at 100mba.net. Today's question is from Jose, and Jose asks, Hey Omar, I know that it's important to grow your network and meet new people. I've been doing that for a few years now. But what's your advice on how to ask someone in your network for something you need?

0:45whether it's wanting to partner with them or simply asking for an introduction to somebody they know. Really appreciate your help and this podcast. Thanks, Jose, for your great question. I love this one because it's all about relationships. It's all about how do I approach somebody I respect? I enjoy their company. I really value their relationship and knowing them. How do I approach them in asking for something? I don't want to sound like I'm needy. I don't want to sound like I'm taking advantage of them. I don't want them to think that the reason why I got to know them in the first place is just to ask them this question or to ask for help or ask for a favor.

1:22Totally, totally get it. And here's the thing. We are nothing without our network, right? We're nothing without our community, the people around us. I would not be where I am today as an entrepreneur. I would have not accomplished what I've accomplished with this podcast, with my software company, Webinar Ninja, that I built over nine years and sold, I just simply would not be in this position if it wasn't for the people around me for my network. And in that process, I had to ask my network for favors. I had to ask them if they can help me, if they can support me, if they can do something for me.

1:57And in today's list, I'm going to break down how I actually do that, how I frame it, how I approach them, and how do you put yourself in their shoes so you know how to do this on the fly. Let's get into it. Let's get down to business. I want to start by saying there's nothing wrong with asking for help, with asking for somebody to do you a favor or to just do you a solid in some way. There's nothing wrong with this. This is how the world works. We work together as human beings to accomplish great things, okay? There's amazing things. If you look at any of the accomplishments in the world, any products, any services, any business that you love, you admire, it's not done by one person.

2:38It's done by a group of people working together, helping each other out. And in that process is asking for that help. So there are many people in your network, right? I know in my network, there are several people that I stay in touch with regularly. There's people that I know and speak to maybe once or twice a year. There are people that I highly respect in my networking group that have accomplished great things. There's people that are on my level. There's some people that maybe are a few steps behind me. And of course, we're not talking about levels of human worth here. No, everybody is equal, right?

3:10But in terms of what they've got done, what they've accomplished and their experience, there's going to be people above you, below you, all that kind of stuff. And the crazy thing is that if we're honest with ourself, we know that there's a hierarchy. We know that there's people that are as experienced as you or hasn't accomplished as much as you, and you have no problem asking them for help or asking them for a favor, asking them for an introduction, right? We really have a problem or we have resistance when we're asking somebody maybe that is a peer of ours or people that we maybe look up to, people that maybe have done more and you kind of feel lucky that you know them.

3:46But the interesting thing is that the people, the introductions, the favors, the impact of their help for those who are above you in terms of what they've done or have accomplished more, the impact that they have is much stronger than people that are at your experience level or below your experience level. For example, let's say I was going to write a book and publish it and I need help promoting it. And I asked somebody who maybe has a great podcast. Maybe it's not as large as my podcast, but it's still a good podcast, right? Asking them to be on their show, they might feel like, wow, that's great value.

4:25Thank you so much. I'd love to do that. And that's great. It's mutual beneficial. I'm helping them. They're helping me. And we're being transparent about it. But if I'm going to ask somebody who maybe has a bigger platform, a bigger audience, then my show or my brand, it gets a little awkward, right? It gets a little bit like, hey, can you please, you know, kind of hat in hand, can you please help me out? And this is where we really need help. And what I want to say here is at the end of the day, if you are of value to somebody else in some way, they're going to want to help you. And that's just truth.

4:59If you're a valuable friend, if you're a valuable person in the community, if you're a valuable entrepreneur, if you have value that you can offer them and their audience in their group or whatever it might be, then they're gonna wanna be on the right side of history, so to speak. They wanna kind of support you. So say what you want proudly, right? Don't be afraid. And a lot of it is just the confidence. A lot of it's the way you present this. You know, a lot of us, when we speak to somebody who's confident, we automatically think there's a reason why they're confident. They must really be good at what they do, right?

5:34We justify what we see. Now, I'm not saying to be arrogant, but really believing in what you're offering. So for example, if I wrote a book and I put it out there and then I approached a very large brand or personality and I said, hey, I wrote this book to help XYZ people. I think it's gonna really impact the world in a big way. I'd love to talk about it. I'd love to share some of the things that I talk about in the book on your podcast and help your audience out in these ways. I've listened to your podcast for years. Here are some of my favorite episodes. But there's some areas, some gaps that were not covered in those episodes.

6:09And I want to fill in those gaps on your podcast. Now, remember, I know this person, right? You know this person in this situation. And this is a pitch that's coming from a friendly place. I'm showing them how passionate and happy I am to share this stuff. I know that it's going to help them. I know it's valuable to them. If they value you, if they value what you're saying, and they kind of understand what you do in your work, they're going to be like, hey, this person is legit. But this is worth exploring. I always like to give my friends an out. I don't want them to do something they don't want to do.

6:41Sometimes in entrepreneurship, as entrepreneurs, we have to go on the no train. The no train means you just have to say no to things because you have to prioritize something else that you're working on. It could be a project. It could be a new business. You know, sometimes I'm in the no train. Right now, I'm on the no train in a lot of ways. So the point here is that you've got to let them know, hey, if this is not a good fit or the timing is not right, that's okay. I'm happy to do this some other time. And I tell them flat out, our relationship is more important to me than the success of this book or the success of my project or me making more money or whatever it might be.

7:17I like to say that. I like to address the fact that I don't want to sacrifice this relationship based on favors or you having to say no because of your situation. So I just say it flat out. I say, hey, buddy, I'd love to do this. I'd love to collaborate. I'd love to work together. If this is not a good fit, If the timing is not right right now, I could totally understand our relationship means more to me than promoting this book or promoting this product or service or whatever it might be. But if it is a good fit, I like to sandwich it and say, but if it's a good fit and we can work out the timing, I think that we can really do something amazing together.

7:52So in this ask, in this conversation, I address my fears. I address that I don't want to sacrifice this relationship, but I actually want to get this done too. Like this is important to me. So if you can do this, I would like to do this. And that's the best way to do it. It's just to be honest, be honest with your friends, right? And the thing is, is that people are actually surprised by honesty. Most people are not honest. Most people are wearing a mask every day and walking around and creating this false image of who they really are and what they want and what their intentions are. So when you actually verbalize your intentions, verbalize what you're feeling and what you're thinking.

8:32People find that refreshing and they trust you more. And they're like, hey, I actually want to do something with this person because of that fact, because of their honesty. Now, I want to say that in order for this to actually have maximum effect, you asking for help from somebody in your network, we got to talk about the relationship building prior to it, as well as how we ask in terms of how we actually do this. over phone, in person, whatever, email, whatever it might be. So let's talk about the precursor. I'm a big believer that you have to invest in relationships. You have to dig the well before you're thirsty, as my friend Jordan Harbinger says, great podcast, by the way, Jordan Harbinger show.

9:16And this is so true. Like just give to the people that you really enjoy spending time with, that you admire, that are part of your network. Help them out. You see them doing something or promoting something, talking about something on social media, retweet it, share it on your profile, do a little quick video on your phone. Hey, my buddy's doing XYZ. You should check it out. I really love what they do. I love his style. I love what they're doing. Boom. Send it out. Put a one-liner. Hey, a good friend of mine, she's doing amazing things these days with her business. You should check out her website.

9:50Here it is. So people will thank you. People will love the fact that you're doing this without them asking, that you're giving before you're asking. And I'm not saying this is transactional. I'm saying just give because they're actually good people and they're actually doing good things. I'm going to give you an example from my own life. I love Derek Sivers' books. Derek Sivers is one of my favorite authors. He's influenced me in so many ways along my journey. I've talked about his books several times on must-read episodes here on this podcast. eventually Derek found out that I was talking about him on the podcast and was getting a flood of new orders because of the growth of the show and emailed me and said, I'm getting all these orders because of your episode about this book that I wrote.

10:38Thanks, man. I really appreciate it. I didn't do this so that I can get that email from Derek. I did it because Derek's work is incredible and it impacted me tremendously and I wanted to impact other people. A byproduct of that was him emailing me, which is great. And then we had a bit of a relationship back and forth on email. We talked to each other, sharing ideas, which is great. And guess what? I recently asked him, hey, I'd love to have you on the podcast. And for him, it was a hell yeah. It was easy, yes. Obviously, there's a win-win here. You know, he's going to be talking about his work and his books and all that kind of stuff.

11:09But at the same time, I'm going to get to have a conversation with somebody I admire. But it didn't happen overnight. This literally is six, seven years in the making. You know, it took a lot of cultivation over the years. So look at your network, look at the people that you like to stay in touch with and like to be friends with and just support them. Be their biggest cheerleader and help them out the best you can. One day, it's not going to be so awkward when it's time for you to ask for something because you've been so generous. This is not transactional again. You're doing it because they're doing great work.

11:40But it's just easier for people to believe that you're genuine when you are doing things without them asking. So how do you ask? A lot of people ask, should I get on the phone call? Should I ask them to get on a Zoom meeting or whatever it might be? Here's the thing. It needs to be convenient for them because you're the one asking. Okay, so it needs to be convenient for them. Second of all, it needs to be as personal as possible. So in my opinion, if you're talking to this person on the phone regularly anyway, or you're meeting up with them on a video call regularly anyway, or you see them in person anyway, this is the highest form of communication in person, of course, and then, you know, voice on a call, just one-on-one.

12:22I would ask them then and there because the way you sound, your authenticity, your honesty, your vulnerability in your voice, in your face, in person is going to make a difference. It's going to communicate a lot more. Okay. If that's not possible, if that's not something that you normally do with this person, I would say personal message is probably like a text message, iMessage, or a good secondary messaging interface is WhatsApp. WhatsApp for me feels almost like an iMessage or a text message. So that's the next level of communication I would say that would be not a bad idea to do the ask. And voice memo is a good option.

13:02So you can record a little voice memo and send it to them so they can hear your earnestness in your voice. Text message or text written in WhatsApp or iMessage is kind of the next level. Email is a tough one. I need to know somebody really well and have done work with them many times back and forth. We got to be really close friends for me to be able to just send an email and ask for something. It works when it's a low level ask, but if it's something that's bigger, like asking them to help you launch or partner with you with a product, that's a discussion more. And email probably is not the easiest.

13:41The worst thing you could do is ask them to jump on a call, you know, if you don't normally do that. That's time away from them. It's inconvenient. It's, you know, holding them in suspense for no reason. It's just you wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that. That's kind of a waste of time. So that's really my advice when it comes to how to ask. Be as personable as possible. Be real. Talk to them as a friend because they should be your friend. And that's pretty much it, Jose. I hope that helps. If you've built a strong relationship with this person, asking them is something that you should feel comfortable if you believe in what you're doing.

14:16Now, if you don't feel comfortable for some reason, you're like, oh, I don't know this person long enough. I don't feel like I've known them. We haven't built a relationship, don't ask them. Wait until you have a solid foundation. Thank you, Jose, for asking today's question on Q &A Wednesday. And thank you all for listening. If you've got a question you want to ask here on Q &A Wednesday, go ahead and email me over at omar at 100mba.net. While I got you, why don't you hit subscribe, hit follow on your favorite podcast app right now. If you're listening on Spotify, hit that follow button. Apple Podcasts, go ahead and do the same.

14:48By doing so, you help our show grow because the more followers, the more subscribers we have, the more the algorithm pushes our show and reaches new people. And the bigger the show gets, the more we're able to reinvest in the podcast and make it better and better for you. So thank you so much for being part of this community. Before I go, I want to leave you with this. I love building a network, meeting new people, nurturing the relationships I have. But it takes work. You have to have a system of reminding yourself to stay in touch with the people that are important to you. Even if that's a spreadsheet of names and you just literally remind yourself to message them and say, hey, hello, what's up?

15:30What's going on? What's latest with you? Every day that you maybe pick up and message one or two people. That's the discipline you're going to need to have in order for you to stay in touch with your network. Thanks so much for listening and I'll check you in the next episode. I'll see you then. Take care.

16:05We'll see you next time.