5 Communication Secrets That Will Make People Respect You & Love You

25:17That's$15 a month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes when the network is busy. Capable device required. Availability speed and coverage varies. See mittmobile.com. Carol Robin has a great metaphor for thinking about developing this skill of being more sensitive towards the feelings we're sharing and feeling ourselves and the ones the other person is overtly or covertly sharing. This Art of Charm practice strategy will help you with all five levels of listening and stand out from the ordinary. That's why we talk in the book about these two antenna that are important to be interpersonally skilled.

25:53One is the antenna that picks up signals on what might be going on for the other person. And the other one is what's going on for me. And that comes back to the point I made earlier about how much you learn about yourself when you engage and create relationships like we're talking about. Because boy, if I have a big reaction to something that you've done, there's probably something for me to learn about me in observing that. Plus, if I learn to pick up on my own emotional reaction, I have more choice in what I decide to do with it. So that's the other thing. Another reason the students say it's so transformational.

26:29And, you know, I hear from my students 10 years later with not just I got promoted to be a CEO because of what I learned, but, you know, I'm pretty sure your class just saved my marriage. What I learned from you just helped me reconcile my relationship with my brother who I hadn't talked to for a year. So why? Because they've learned that these, A, that these two antenna even exist, but B, that they've learned to tune them to pick up signals that are a little more muted. And they've got a bigger toolbox with which to make informed choices before they act. AJ, there is a lot of misconstrued information about vulnerability.

27:05It is special and it should be earned. But once earned, it should be used wisely. This idea of opening up to someone else is difficult for many of us. And it's why you often are hiding who you truly are. Dr. Robin has a lot to say about this. And what are the rewards of opening up when done in the right way? We hide because we're scared. So let's talk a little bit about that fear. By the way, fear sometimes is an acronym for false expectations appearing real. It's risky. If I'm going to show you a little bit more of me, if I'm going to share a little bit more of me, it feels vulnerable. And vulnerability feels a little risky.

27:49And that's why we talk about the 15 % rule in the course and in the book, we can come back to that. And to your question, the reason that it feels risky is that we've never tested. If I show you this part of me, I'm imagining you're going to like me less. But it actually what the students discover is you like me more when I say that I feel insecure and I'm not sure if I was the admission error. Then it turns out that 80 % of my classmates feel the same way. Oh my gosh, look at that. We have so much more in common than we thought we did. And so part of the reason the course is so transformational is that as students take the risk of allowing themselves to be a little more known and discover that the parts of themselves they usually keep hidden are the parts that other people feel drawn toward and more connected to.

28:44It's like, oh, my God, I've discovered America. But of course, you know, the course is set up so and the reason that the model in the book around 15 % is so important is you don't just walk in and bleh, let me tell you everything and overwhelm the other person and then freak yourself out. So you have to learn how to do it incrementally. And you have to understand that the process of disclosure is reciprocal. If I take the first step and tell you a little bit, then you might take a reciprocal step. Tell me a little bit. And then I'll tell you a little bit more. And that's how we expand what we call our comfort zone.

29:22Our comfort zone is where we talk about, we don't think twice about what we talk about, but we don't build relationships unless we step outside it. When it comes to stepping outside of your comfort zone and being vulnerable, Carol Robin recommends following what she calls the 15 % rule. This is another skill that's practiced in our X-Factor Accelerator implementation sessions. This helps you manage the biggest question about vulnerability. How much and when? There's three concentric circles. The one in the middle, your comfort zone, you don't think twice about what you say. The one on the outside is the danger zone.

29:53In a million years, you'd never share that. And the one in the middle is your learning zone. You can't learn anything new unless you step outside your comfort zone. And that's why when you learn to ski, they don't take you to the double black diamond, but they also don't leave you on the bunny slope. So unless you step outside your comfort zone, then you're not going to learn and grow. So our students used to say, but Carol, the minute I step 15 % outside my comfort zone, how do I know I'm not in my danger zone? And I used to say, think 15%, a little bit outside your comfort zone. And it's probably small enough that you're not going to freak yourself or the other person out too badly.

30:33If things go awry, it's probably small enough that you can still kind of regroup. And then what's really interesting is that once you step 15 % outside, your comfort zone gets redrawn with that person. And now you can step 15 % beyond that, especially if they've then reciprocated by going 15 % beyond their comfort zone. And that's how relationships deepen and grow. Now, Jonah Berger shares a great example of how to use questions to disclose your vulnerabilities to elicit them in others. So here's the challenge, and you laid it out really nicely. To deepen social connections, whether to turn acquaintances into allies, whether to turn strangers into friends, or whether just to sort of get a deeper connection with those we already love, but don't talk to that often.

31:20We need to reveal a little bit about ourselves, right? If we call someone and all we say is, oh, you know, what'd you do today? What'd you do today? And we have this sort of phatic, nice kind of get to know you conversation, that's good. It doesn't hurt, but it doesn't make us feel that deep emotional connection. And so to do that, we need to reveal a little bit things about ourselves. We need to be a bit vulnerable. We need to talk about some things that show depth. But the challenge is to do that, we've got to already feel some sort of social connection, right? If you walked up to someone and you said, hey, what are three of your biggest fears?

31:54The person would be like, what? And even if it's a friend of yours and you call them up, you say, hey, guy or gal, what are you deeply worried about in your life? They'd say, I'm not going to answer that question. And so you need to sort of build a base to get to that deep revelatory stuff. So how do you do that? There's a series of questions called the fast friends paradigm, which asks a simple set of questions and then a more complicated set of questions and eventually an even deeper, more revelatory set of questions. But they lead people in sort of 45 minutes to feel more connected to anyone, whether it's a stranger initially, whether it's someone that you already know.

32:30At the end of this series of questions, you feel more like you deeply know this person. And the way it works is it starts safe and then it builds. And what do I mean by that? Well, it starts really in a very basic, simple, non-revelatory way. If you had to pick somebody to have dinner with, anyone in the world, who would it be? That's an easy question that anybody can answer that doesn't feel too revelatory. But by asking some of these initial questions, revealing some small, simple, beginning things about each other, we start to build trust. We go back and forth. I ask you, you ask me. I start to feel like I know you a little bit better.

33:06And now when we get to some more of the deep, more revelatory questions, we're both more willing to answer and play that game because we feel like we have that base to build from. And so don't start with the deep, revelatory stuff and don't end up with the really sort of just surface level things. Start surface, use that to build a base, and from that base, get to the more deeper, more revelatory type of questions. The emotions you use to describe your experiences are important to the context of the information you're sharing. Effective communication needs to be clear and concise so that there is little misinterpretation.

33:42AJ and Dr. Robin have a great conversation that further illuminates the sheer power that using feeling words in a conversation can have. Now you brought up two great points that I just want to touch on around emotions. Number one, they actually provide context to all of the information that we're sharing. Exactly. When you state a fact, if you don't add the emotion, people are going to paint whatever emotion they're feeling or they felt in the past around that event. And your great example in the book around someone losing their job, well, for one person, that might be terrifying. For another person, that might open a door to a new challenge that's exciting for them.

34:22But if all you say is, I lost my job, the other person hearing that is going to fill in their own emotional context. The other important point is emotions also connect us because they're universal. I've never been whitewater rafting, but I've been terrified and coerced, as Johnny can admit, to going up on a zip line in Tulum. So I've been in those situations where the emotion provides that connection between the two of us, even though I've not strapped on a helmet and gone whitewater rafting. But if we leave out the emotion from the conversation, we rob that other person of all that opportunity for connection.

35:00That's such a wonderful point. And in fact, I'll add that emotion is the source of empathy. So you don't have to have ever been whitewater rafting, or you might think, God, I love whitewater rafting, but you know the experience of terror and coercion. And so you can empathize with my feeling that way, even if you would never feel that way in the situation. That's where people really get confused as to thinking, well, I don't know why you're sad. You should be happy. I don't, you know, well, first of all, should be eliminated from the English language. But the other thing I'd say is, it doesn't matter if you understand why I'm sad or not.

35:42You understand the feeling of sadness. So you can probably connect to that. The other thing about emotions is that they also indicate the intensity of an experience. So if you tell me you're mildly annoyed, that's different than if you tell me you're upset or angry or furious. So feelings are like two thoughts are like treble and bass and music. Without feelings, you've only got half the story. But we've been socialized to leave feelings out of it, especially in business. But really, you know, think about little kid hurts himself in the playground. The mom runs over and says to him, you're fine.

36:25You're fine. Well, you know, no, actually, I'm hurt. But it's so important for mom to not be worried about kid being hurt that she denies the kid even the right to be feeling hurt. What's with that? What I've noticed about the more you express emotions, the more you're able to pick up on emotions in others. And we've fallen into this terrible pattern where we dampen our emotions that we're sharing. And in turn, we're not in tune with others' emotions. And we're losing that EQ and that ability to really understand where the other person's coming from. We've all been in those boring surface level small talk conversations that are just an exchange of information.

37:10And for many of us, it's led us to not want to network, to not put ourselves out there, to think, you know what, I'm just going to sit quietly next to the student in class and not say a word for an entire semester, robbing ourselves of that connection. Disclosure doesn't mean talking about something secret. It means talking about something internal. And by sharing that, we're taking a bit of risk that creates the connection. When we talk about disclosure as one of the keys to creating more connection, and we talk about being more open and being more known, usually when you hear things like disclosure, people think, I'm going to tell you something that's illegal, immoral, or fattening.

37:45actually about telling you more about how I'm feeling right now, right here in this moment, which is why the course is called by the students affectionately, touchy-feely, because of the big emphasis on feelings. Feelings are what give meaning to facts. If I tell you I went whitewater rafting, okay, if I tell you I went whitewater rafting and it was exhilarating, you've learned more about me. If I say I went whitewater rafting and felt terrified, you've learned something different about me. And if I tell you I went whitewater rafting, I felt terrified and coerced into doing it because people were going to think I was really, you know, a wimp if I didn't, then you've learned even more about me.

38:33And then maybe I've taken a bit of a risk in letting you know that about me. Oh man, Carol doesn't always have it together. So there's a cost to this spun image that has become so prevalent, which is then I'm trapped. Like now I can't tell you that I was scared. Carol Robin explains how vulnerability needs to be adjusted in a work or business context. So you're absolutely right that context matters and how you use these tools and skills and competencies has to be adapted to the context. The 15 % rule still applies, by the way, but what my 15 % might look like with my buddy might look very different than my 15 % with my boss.

39:17Now, I want to go back for a couple moments and talk about how when there are power differentials, which are inevitable in a business context, it's incumbent on the person in the higher power position to take the risk first. because if you're going to expect somebody in a lower power position, whether it's because of the hierarchy or because of social status or any other reason, to make themselves vulnerable and take the risk first, that's double unfair. So if you're a leader out there, think about whether or not you're making it in any way possible easier for somebody to take a risk and allow themselves to get a little more known by you if you haven't allowed yourself to get known by that.

40:02Now, let's come back to the idea that in business, we've been even more socialized to leave our feelings in the parking lot at a huge cost. And there's research that shows that leaders that are willing to be vulnerable, as long as it's not about their core competency, create higher performing organizations. So if I'm the VP of marketing, and that's the third month in a row that we've lost market share and I don't know what the heck is going on. And I stand up in front of everybody and say, well, that's the third month in a row we've lost share. I don't have a clue why. I don't know what to do about it.

40:43I'm feeling really insecure. I'm not sure I should be your VP of marketing. That's what we would call inappropriate authenticity and not the kind of disclosure that we are advocating or the kind of vulnerability that the research shows helps you become a stronger leader. But I could say, so that's the third month in a row that we've lost market share. First of all, admitting a mistake. You know what? I don't fully understand it because I don't have all the answers. Admitting you don't know. Vulnerability number two. And I have some ideas that I'd love to run past all of you. I've never needed all of you more than ever.

41:25And I hope I can count on you, that's a whole different message. It's still vulnerable. It doesn't say I've got it all figured out. I'm crushing it, which is what a lot of leaders think it looks like to be leaderly and it's appropriate authenticity. Leveraging your vulnerability is a conversational skill that is learned through practice. And you can learn these on your own, but it takes time. Imagine having a communications dojo where you can practice these techniques with others who are also learning them. Why waste time when you can accelerate the process? Join us today in the X-Factor Accelerator to rapidly improve your communication and build high-value relationships today at unlockyourxfactor.com.

42:11Now, AJ, with relationships comes conflict. And conflict resolution is one of our most popular X-Factor Accelerator implementation sessions. Now, in conflict, there are three realities that must be considered to get to a resolution. Number one is my intent. Number two is what I say and do. And number three, how what I said and did affected you. In this clip, Carol Robin goes through them. You're right to point out that no matter how great a relationship is, conflict is inevitable. And in fact, the closer you become and the deeper the relationship, the more likely there is to be at least what we call pinches, but certainly conflict.

42:52And one way to learn how to handle it productively, which is a hallmark of an exceptional relationship, no conflict, handling it productively, is this idea that in any exchange between two people, there are three realities, not two realities. There's what I say and do. That's reality number two. It's the only one known to the two of us. There's my intent in saying and doing that, which is reality number one, which you don't know until I tell you. And there's reality number three, which is how what I said and did landed on you, what your reaction was to it. Now, we describe this metaphorical net where between reality number one, which is my intent, and reality number two, which is my behavior.

43:43So let me give you an example. Let's go back many, many years to when I was home with an infant and a two-year-old. And my husband was a big-time executive in Silicon Valley. He would come home after a very long day and he'd plop down on the couch and he'd pick up the newspaper because in those days people still read newspapers. I'd hear him from the back of the house. I'd come zooming around the corner thinking, oh my God, oh my God, he's home. And I'd start in. Guess what happened today? You won't believe what happened today. I went to that nursery school. It didn't even open yet. It's already full.

44:12Oh, my God. Why are we raising kids in Palo Alto? This is crazy. I think we should. OK. And you know what he would do? He would say, hmm. He'd look. He would not look up from the newspaper. He'd make no eye contact and he would just say, hmm. And then I would say, you're not listening. You're not listening is over the net. I am not in his head. I don't know whether he's listening or not. And by the way, it gets worse. And those of you out there listening who've been taught iMessages, I feel that you're not listening is exactly the same statement. So don't fool yourself into thinking you're making an iStatement.

44:54So after I would say you're not listening and then he'd say, yeah, you went to that new nursery school, it's all full and you're all worked up about it. He still would make no eye contact and that would be his response. Then it would escalate. how can you be so insensitive? I would say also over the net, because I don't know, you know, I'm attributing insensitivity to him is that's neither the behavior nor my reaction to it. I feel that you don't care. He didn't say I don't care is over the net. So when I learned to say, honey, when I talk to you and you make no eye contact, and the only thing I get back from you is a grunt.

45:38I don't feel heard. That's called my side of the net. Behavior, all of us who watch the interaction would say that's what happened. My reaction, I don't feel heard. And when I don't feel heard, I feel hurt. And I feel less important. And I feel dismissed. And I feel distanced. And I don't want to feel distanced. And I'm telling you this, because I don't, I think I don't know if you know that that's the impact of your behavior on me. That's called staying on my side of the net. Providing feedback to co-workers, colleagues, and friends is a key to all great relationships. But like in communication, there is a good way and a bad way of going about it.

46:25Giving feedback that conveys our intent moves us into problem-solving conversation and why disclosure is a requirement for this. But now let's go to the purpose and giving feedback in a way that's productive. Purpose of feedback isn't to change somebody else. The purpose of feedback is to move into a problem solving conversation. So as long as I've made him defensive by being over the net, you don't care. Yes, he does. You know, you're insensitive. He's one of the planet's most sensitive men, incredibly unfair. That's not going to move us into any kind of productive conversation. But the minute I'm able to stay on my side of the net, he then doesn't feel attacked or the need to justify himself or misrepresent it anymore.

47:10He's like, oh, well, so then he says, well, you know, honey, if you need eye contact and my undivided attention, then you've got to give me some time to unwind when I get home. And I said, okay, how much time do you need? He said, I don't know, half an hour. I was like, half an hour? I've been counting the minutes for you to get home. How about five minutes? He's like, five minutes? That's like nothing. So we settled on 15. But the point is, that's a great example. True story. Great. I don't know if the whole story is in the book, but a little bit of it is. But it's a great example of how if we learn to give each other feedback in a way that stays on our side of the net, conveys our intent, we are able to move into a problem solving conversation.

47:58And after that, I had to wait. But after 15 minutes, I knew I'd have his attention. And by the way, that conflict, let's go back to conflict. Instead of thinking of conflict as a bad thing, we can think of conflict as an opportunity to learn more about each other and ourselves. He learned more about what I needed and what was important to me. He learned that I was desperate for adult interaction at the end of the day. He might have sort of known that or assumed that, but I got to actually, we got to talk about that. It brought us closer. That's what I was just going to say. Not only are you learning about the other person, it just makes the relationship that much better.

48:41And you feel that much more connected. And now you definitely have somebody that you can put confidence in because they have been there through times of trouble rather than just throwing their hands up. The other thing that you brought up about being on your side of the net versus over the net, and you alluded to this in that comment, but you illustrate this in the book very well. Once that you feel what is okay to be over the net, it opens the doors to not only attributing behaviors and actions to build whole entire wild narratives that don't even make sense. And it is incredibly important in our relationship that that idea is understood because we're going to have massive problems soon as communication starts to break down and we're just allowed permission to make up whatever wild story we want.

49:35Which by the way, is another case for why disclosure is important. The less I tell you, the more opportunity I give you to make up stories about me. And it's like a blank sheet. You can project anything you want on a blank sheet. It's a little harder when I've filled it in for you. So embedded in feedback well given is disclosure. When you did this, I felt this. And this is why I'm telling you. And this is what I'm hoping happens as a result. People are scared to death of giving others feedback because they think it's going to actually weaken a relationship or they're going to be seen as a bad person.

50:10It only strengthens relationships if done well. If you're in a role that requires you to deliver feedback, take some notes from Chuck Wisner. Not everything you're thinking needs to be said or taken personally. Hold your opinions lightly. Only then can a dialogue happen. You can use these three phrases to voice your opinions to others. You know, listening has been talked about forever. You know, be a better listener, be a skillful listener, be an active listener. You can read all the books you want. but if you don't quiet down your inner dialogue or judgments you can be a good listener right it's only until and i'm not asking people to give up their opinions i'm only asking to hold them lightly you know because what happens when we get when our ego gets attached to our opinion we enter a conversation with our opinions as a fist and so if we if the three of us enter a conversation we all it's like no this is what i think should happen around covid no i think this is what happened.

51:06No, I think this is what happened. And we're all entering because we're attached to that, right? We just end up banging heads on each other. And the collaboration never happens. All I'm saying is you don't have to give up your opinion, but have it with an open hand. Here's why I'm concerned. Here's what I think what I want to have happen. Here's what I think the authority issues are. And here are the standards by which I make a call. What are my standards would I say what's safe and what's not safe. That ability to say, here's my thinking, here's my worries, that invites other people to do the same thing and unclench.

51:41And then we can start having a dialogue. Your inner dialogue is a conversation with yourself and is a source of stress and distraction if you haven't conditioned it to be constructive. And here's what to do about your self-story and inner dialogue explained by Chuck Wisner. Yeah. And oftentimes passing it unconsciously. We have our internal dialogue going, oh God, he is so full of shit, or I can't believe how she's behaving or whatever. And that tension between our public persona or voice and our private is a major driver of stress. Stress for ourselves and stress in conversation. There's two parts to that.

52:19One is, what are the stories I have internally about myself that I adopted that aren't serving me well. I mean, we might have positive stories like I'm confident and I can do this and I can do that and I'm a good football player. I'm a great dancer or whatever. But we also have stories that are limiting. And I tell the story in the book where I grew up being told I wasn't man enough. My sisters could cry. I couldn't. I didn't like skinning the deer in the basement and got sick. And I was told you're not man enough, you know, be a bigger man. I adopted that story. So I had an internal story, the ontology of language, it's often called the master stories, master stories about ourselves.

53:03So the only way to do that is to really, the stories that cause you angst is to really write them down and say, you know, I can't do this. I can't speak in public, right? And then we have to take that we have to tear that apart and go what are there facts that counter that are there things that this is keep holding me back from doing and you literally have to deconstruct the story and you come out the other end when i deconstructed my story it's like wait a minute i'm i'm 30 years old i'm an architect i have two kids i'm successful i have a beautiful wife i'm six foot tall what's this about big enough man shit you know so you know that in that way i busted my own story so there's that and then the other piece is the internal dialogue we have in conversation with others which is the judgment and the private commerce which i call the private conversation the only way around that is to literally the practice there is to take a conversation do the exercise i write in the book on the right side I said, what do you think about the project?

54:10She said, it's too soon to tell. You write down that and then you go to the left-hand side and you go, while that conversation was going on, what was I thinking and feeling when every person was talking? I've done this with hundreds of people. And it's never, never has it happened that people aren't surprised when they write down their private thoughts. Because they're negative. They have plenty of swear words. plenty of judgments, right? So it's all there, but we're so used to it. We're so, so used to just that voice being there that when we pay attention to it and shine a light on it, it's like, oh my gosh, I can change that.

54:50The problem is that schools have trained us that not having an answer is not an option. So we advocate for an answer instead of inquiring about one. Learn to deprogram yourself from bad habits our modern culture has conditioned you to, explained by Chuck Wisner. The difficulty of the balance is basically our social norms, our social training, our education. We are trained to raise our hands in school to have the answer. We rarely get a gold star for raising our hands and saying, I don't know. From an early age, we are like, you get the gold star for having the answer. Then we go to school, college, same thing.

55:28We're trained as an expert. Then we go to work and we're really rewarded well for being finding the answers and being the smart guy or gal in the room. So that's sort of embedded unconsciously in how we operate when we're in a group of people, whether it's education or business. And then, so we sort of like lean, lean into unconsciously lean into being advocates because we want to have the answer. We're often addicted to our answer. Our ego is attached to our answer, right? I'm not casting judgment. I'm just saying that's a pattern. I love to think about these things as patterns, which you guys probably picked up on, because it's a little less judgmental.

56:13You know, the idea of, oh, I have a pattern that does that is a little less judgmental because it's not, I didn't consciously choose that story or I didn't consciously choose that opinion. Wow, I adopted that. And let me have a fresh look, right? So if we can sort of start paying attention to that pattern of how we advocate, then we can bring the stepchild inquiry into the equation, you know, and we can go, wait a minute, there's a whole nother part of the equation, which is if I come with my advocacy, not with a fist, but with an open hand, then I'm also often I have to default. Many people, leaders especially, have to default to inquire because it's so not their pattern.

56:55And finding that balance takes a lot of self-investigation to go, wait a minute. At one extreme, I'm being arrogant and I'm being a jerk and I have the answer and my team won't talk to me because I always have the right answer. At the other extreme are people that don't trust their voice and never speak up. But somewhere in the middle, there's that balance of inquiry and advocacy where we really do sync up.

57:30Johnny, this episode was chock full of secrets to powerful communication, especially when it comes to building high value relationships. And one thing that all of our X Factor Accelerator members share with us as they go through the program is, man, I wish I'd learned this earlier in my relationship development. It would have saved a lot of problems that I had in communicating and building great relationships. Well, all of these skills should be taught in school. And because they're not, we teach them here at the Art of Charm in our X-Factor Accelerator program.

58:20was excited to take part in some mountain biking with Aaron. I rallied a buddy of mine locally, and we had so much fun on one of the top trails here in Los Angeles. AJ, that sounds like so much fun. And that's what's so great about what we do. I mean, we're actually side by side our clients and helping in those wins. I mean, for us, we're celebrating them as much, if not more than they are. And if you want to hear the story about my cool new nickname, AJ Turbo, head over to LinkedIn and follow me for the epic story this week. The LinkedIn link is in the show notes. Are you stuck at work or in life?

58:55Do you feel life passing you by too quickly, becoming redundant and absurd? Well, that means it's time to shake things up in your career and personal life. If you're ready to break out of the boredom and invigorate your social capital, then it's time to unlock your X Factor and unleash the secrets to elite human dynamics. Imagine what you can accomplish by mastering the art of influence, persuasion, and rapid rapport building. With our X-Factor Accelerator program, you'll gain the skills to captivate any room, influence any decision, and create connections that last a lifetime. After coaching over 10 ,000 clients and 17 years of research and training, the Art of Charm has built the leading Elite Human Dynamics program.

59:35You'll get personal feedback, rapid skill building, and elite strategies to unlock your unique X-Factor and give you the ability to stand out, be memorable, and make an impact. Take your communication from ordinary to extraordinary with our personalized plan of attack and expert guidance. This is not a one-size-fits-all program. Our program is tailored to your skill level so you can get the best training possible. Join an elite network of professionals, business owners, military special forces, and engineers closing deals, winning friends, and influencing high-value people. Don't put it off any longer.

1:00:09Apply today at unlockyourxfactor.com. If you listen this far, my guess is that's because you want more out of life and finally succeed at love, work, and life. If that's the case, then join us, the Art of Charm team, and other listeners just like you who are experiencing breakthrough conversations, supercharging their confidence, and growing an incredible network inside our world-famous X-Factor Accelerator program. The X-Factor Accelerator is where high-achieving, like-minded people meet, strategize, and unlock their hidden X factor to make sure they get the most out of life's opportunities and unlock those doors, keeping you from success.

1:00:47We kick off every month with a goal setting strategy session. So you have a personalized plan of attack as well as weekly implementation sessions with opportunities to practice your conversation skills, rapport building, and supercharge your charisma through powerful communication. Imagine what you can accomplish with coaching and mentorship with the art of charm. What are you waiting for? Join us today at unlockyourxfactor.com. All right, before we head out, could you do us a quick favor? If you enjoyed this podcast, click subscribe in your favorite player and rate the show. It helps us tremendously and we appreciate your support more than you know.

1:01:24A huge thank you to our producers, Michael Harold and Eric Montgomery. We hope you have an epic week.

1:01:37You threw love away Like it was just a toy And you sold the world You sold the tragedy Cause you had your taste All black on the yesterday Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you

1:02:09Next up is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way. You want to sell those wheels. You want to get a CarMax instant offer. So fast. Want to take a sec to think about it. Or like a month. Want to keep tabs on that instant offer. With OfferWatch. Want to have CarMax pick it up from your driveway.

1:02:35So, want to drive? CarMax. Pickup not available everywhere. Restrictions and fee may apply.