Build Resilience & Grit Like a Navy SEAL: Featuring David Goggins, Rich Diviney & Dan Luna

26:37Absolutely. And I don't say that to glorify it. Quite honestly, war is horrible, and we should do everything we can to avoid it if we can. But it does become very real once you're there. As a Navy SEAL, Rich had to learn to confront his fears to the point where he'd no longer even feel them. And he made some very good points that helped our listeners understand the difference between anxiety and insecurity, and how everyone can start to inoculate themselves against them. What SEALs and those people who actually more habitually step into their fears, what they've experienced and they've kind of realized is this reward that it feels good to do it.

27:14You know, when you step in, it feels good. When you step in, it feels good. And it's encouraging you to go. So I think any one of us can actually practice our courage. You know, we could practice our courage by doing things that scare us. Now, it doesn't have to be extreme. Okay, you don't have to go skydiving tomorrow, right? Right. You can if you're an introvert, you can start a conversation with a stranger. I mean, you can you can you can give you can stand up in front of in front of people and give a read a poem. I don't know whatever that is. But but just notice when you do it, when you when you step into it, notice the feeling you get because it's a it's a reward system and it allows you to keep going.

27:51So so I just think I've been fortunate enough to somewhere along the line early, I guess early on, have made it more of a habit to step into those things that I don't, you know, that kind of make me, might be frightened, right? Whether it's heights, and I didn't, I never put flying in the category of heights, and when you're in an airplane, it doesn't feel like, at least for me, it doesn't feel like I'm high up. It's really open heights, jumping out of airplanes or, you know, things like that. But yeah, every time I did that, I had to proactively step into it and do it, and then when I was getting out of the Navy, I realized, you know, based on some things I wanted to talk about and kind of put out in the world, hey, I should probably get good at public speaking.

28:30And I don't like public speaking. So what did I do? I said, well, let me find a job where I'm doing that all the time, you know, and practice it. And so now, yeah, I've gotten to the point where I no longer, I've inoculated myself, you know, I no longer feel the same fear going into a public speaking event or, now, I haven't jumped out of airplanes in years, right? It's been quite a while. So I think I'd still feel the fear, you know, cause you can't, you know, if it does, it does atrophy if you don't practice it a lot. Right. So, um, so you have to practice it, but, but we can do it. And it's a reward system that we should in fact, um, capitalize on.

29:05You mentioned about stepping into fear and making it a habit. And, and I think that's important for people to realize. And when you accept responsibility for the choices that you make, knowing that there are consequences to those choices, eventually you make your way to taking responsibility for even the presentation that you're putting out there. But also you're going to get to a place where you're taking responsibility for how you view those fears. And we have opportunities every day to start building habits to step into that fear. and it's difficult for people to understand all those opportunities that they have without accepting that responsibility.

29:58Totally, 100 % agree, 100 % agree. And so it's interesting, taking responsibility and taking accountability is an interesting thing because people talk about it, hey, it's such a great, I have it as an attribute, right? And it is a great, and it's one of the leadership attributes. But sometimes people don't understand the power of accountability, all right? Human beings want certainty, you know, and oftentimes certainty also means control. We want to be certain. We want to take control. Well, accountability, taking responsibility and taking accountability is taking control of a situation. That's what it is.

30:30You are basically taking control of everything that just happened by saying, I am accountable. This is on me. And then immediately you're put in your position where you can now solve it and you can now get better. You have taken the driver's wheel, taken control of everything that just happened, regardless of whether or not it was totally, in fact, your fault, right? It's a process by which you can actually take control, and that's why it's so powerful. And when you have that control, as soon as you're in the driver's seat, you can drive that car wherever you want. And oftentimes, you're going to drive it and steer it towards learning, development, and growth.

31:03Well, there's certainly been decisions that I have made strictly on the fact, regardless of how I felt in the moment, that it's better for me and the results are going to be more beneficial if I just go through this. When it would have been very easy for me just to say no. But again, it's taking responsibility for those decisions and knowing what's on the other side and knowing what's best for me, regardless of how I felt in the moment. and the science is clear exposure therapy works when we're facing down our fears it doesn't necessarily mean that you actually have to be jumping out of the plane but even a VR headset that simulates that to allow your body to work through that fight or flight response in a meaningful way practiced, measured, gets you to a place where that fear shrinks it doesn't go to zero you're not going to be fearless because it's a biological process to keep us alive But we are wired that the more we experience some discomfort, the less painful that discomfort becomes.

32:08And that fear of the unknown, the uncertainty, doesn't have the same grip on us. And we practice that in our coaching with our clients in Core Confidence, where we create exercises to step outside of your comfort zone. And that forms the building blocks of confidence. And I know you have thoughts around building confidence as well. It's been a big part of your career and success. So for those in our audience who are feeling a lack of confidence, and of course this last year has set a lot of us back, what advice do you have around building confidence in our lives to take action to face these fears?

32:44Yeah, I think the way I would define true confidence is this idea that you feel, it's not so much you know what's going to happen, you can anticipate, or you have a bunch of skills. I think true confidence is knowing that no matter how, no matter where this environment goes around me, I'll perform. And that's what it is. And I think what you said is both poignant and in line with answering the question. And that is, when you are exposing yourself to something you're afraid of over and over again, what you're really doing is you're actually training yourself in those tools required to actually, in fact, buy down that fear.

33:24you know you're and the way we do it so fear is interesting fear is a combination really ultimately of two things uncertainty and anxiety okay both of those combined create fear because you can have one without the other and fear doesn't exist you can be anxious without being uncertain that's like i got a presentation next week that i'm giving to the boss and i know the presentation and it's you know i know what it's going to look like i don't know where i'm going it's just i'm a little anxious okay i'm not fearful i'm just anxious um and i'm not uncertain um you can be uncertain without being anxious.

33:52That's every kid on Christmas Eve. So there's no fear there. If you have both, if they start combining, you start to tip into fear. And when you do, you can begin to buy down your fear by buying down either one of those polarities. Anxiety is internally focused. It's physiological. And that's pupils dilating, breathing quickens, all that stuff. You can begin to buy down that with physiological means. You can do breathing exercise. You breathe slow or you can do open gaze, things like that, that start shifting your sympathetic towards your parasympathetic systems. So you can buy down anxiety. What that's also doing, that's also bringing your conscious mind back online because when our amygdala starts ticking up and getting overloaded, our conscious mind begins taking a back seat.

34:37So by buying down anxiety, you're bringing your conscious mind back online. As your conscious mind comes back online, you can begin buying down uncertainty. A little bit more difficult because uncertainty is external, right? That's the world around you that is going on without you controlling it. but you can do that by asking yourself some questions. And we do this, SEALs do this all the time, really unconsciously. You say to yourself, what about this environment do I understand? Okay, and however, whatever that list is, however small, you look at that and say, okay, what can I control in this moment?

35:07You pick something and you control, you move towards that, okay? As soon as you make that movement, you get a dopamine response, you get a dopamine reward, right? And that dopamine reward allows you to then ask the question again. Okay, now what can I control? Okay, now what can I control? you're basically stepping through your fear what exposure does the way that we're talking about whether it be vr or real or real is allow someone to work through those processes mentally so that as they do it over and over go they they begin to get um very good they begin to begin to understand exactly how to step through that particular fear neurologically they know how to do it and and so that's why it gets easier in fact they're not it's not that they're getting used to the fear In fact, they're getting less afraid because this is what happens.

35:51And as you get less afraid, by the way, the amygdala starts to come up. You don't get that amygdala response. And when fear no longer shows up, there's no longer courage either, which means you don't get the dopamine reward. So you can, in fact, inoculate yourself so much to something that you no longer need courage to do it, and you're no longer feeling the rewards of dopamine either. right this could be the person who's afraid of skydiving and ends up doing 20 000 jumps right by the time by the time they're on that 20 000 jump they don't need courage to do it anymore they're just doing it you know because because the amygdala is not even getting tickled so so it's that process by which people can actually use i love this and what's interesting here and why a lot of people have difficult deciphering when it's fear or when it's anxiety is because it all comes from the same place.

36:39It begins in your gut. And it's difficult to separate what that is. And this is exactly why we built our core confidence program, because it allows everyone an opportunity in a safe environment to have that feeling. And then, as you mentioned, start to go down the list of questions to decipher, am I in a place where I could get harmed? am I in a place where I can gain something? And if it's a place where you can gain something, and then going through the cognitive processes to allow you to go through it and then be reflective and pull out of that something that makes you a better person. Yeah.

37:20Well, and what you're saying is really important because that first question is also important. Is this something that I can get harmed from, right? Because sometimes flight is the right response, right? Absolutely. And people think, I mean, okay, fear, yeah, Fear is also by nature's design to allow us to appropriately assess risk so that we may survive. Because sometimes, yes, you need to run. It's not a good idea to step into it. And so I think that's an important distinction. Well, look at all the other mammals. When they even have that inkling of that hit of fear, anxiety that's going on, they bolt, right?

37:55The rabbit, the deer, they're out of there. What are they missing in life? Because they have this automatic response. We have this opportunity to work through these feelings, but you're not going to learn how to do that without that reflection and then that understanding of what your emotional processes are to that stimuli. You know what drains your energy faster than a bad networking event? An overpriced phone bill. The big wireless companies love taking your money. They count on you not switching. Right now, Mint Mobile is running their best deal of the year. 50 % off all unlimited plans. That's$15 a month for unlimited.

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40:46Use code charm at monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50 % off your first year at monarch.com with code charm. You're totally right. Yeah. And I think nature can teach us a lot about that because we also see aspects of nature when fear causes them to fight too. The dog that bites you is likely biting you because it's afraid, right? I mean, so there are, I mean, even the bear that attacks you, there might be cubs. I mean, that bear is afraid of the cubs getting it. So the nature, I mean, we're part of nature. I mean, we're animals at the end of the day, right? So we need only look to the animal world to learn some lessons about how we operate.

41:26We certainly have been given through our conscious mind some opportunity that other species, at least to our knowledge, don't have. But there's a lot of lessons there. I think for those in the audience who are feeling that fear and thinking about this, the most important thing that you mentioned is taking that step. Because fear locks us up. And whatever that may be in your life, that first step is going to be the most difficult. And then the next step is going to be easier. And the next step thereafter is going to be easier. So when we're facing down those fears, reminding ourselves that that first step, it's going to be hard.

42:08That's okay. It is a part of the process that I'm working through. And of course, through experience, you realize in other areas, really, that's where we get away from just situational confidence and we start building confidence that allows us in areas where maybe we didn't even know we were afraid and we have that feeling. And I think it's important because we have to understand that, you know, our nature designed our systems to protect our, to protect ourselves from ultimately death, right, or serious injury. And that's why fear exists in the first place. But we have to understand that in today's environment, especially in the first world environment, right?

42:48There's actually very few things that are actually going to hurt us or kill us, right? And a lot of our fear is based on assumptions and predictions that are false. So I think a question that can be asked many times is, hey, what's the worst that can happen? And answer that honestly, because if you actually write those answers down, you're going to find, well, actually, that's not that bad. And certainly, that's not bad enough to limit my desire or my ability to try. Because, man, the reward from trying is way, way better and more powerful than just maybe this bad thing happening. So I think that's a good question to ask.

43:30In our interview with Rich, he shared great insight from his leadership training, the ability to identify where you need to work on yourself. ultimately i am really deeply fascinated uh with what i call elemental human behavior what is it that causes us to behave when at like the atomic levels right and that usually means like when things are really bad when you know we always say when when things are really bad and challenging are the real us shows up okay i'm interested in the real us and maybe that's because i went through training that was like it was like inherently shows the real real us um and so um In beginning to deconstruct the difference, A, between attributes and skills and how these attributes are kind of elemental to our behavior, I said to myself, well, this is a way that I can help people understand their own kind of engines.

44:19I kind of say humans are like cars, right? We're all automobiles. Some of us are Jeeps. Some of us are Ferraris. Some of us are SUVs, right? And there's no judgment because the Jeep can do things the Ferrari can't do and the Ferrari can do things the Jeep can't do. but it makes a lot of sense and it helps out if we are able to once in a while lift the hoods of our own engines and figure out what we actually are because in fact, we might be a Jeep that's trying to run on a Ferrari track and we might be a Ferrari just that's running on a Jeep track and again, there's no judgment there either. You can be a Jeep running on a Ferrari track but it's gonna really help if you know you're a Jeep running on a Ferrari track because then you know exactly what you need to work on to continue to run on that track or you say to yourself, wait a second, That's why I'm not happy.

45:03That's why I'm not fulfilled. It's because I'm actually a Jeep trying to run on a Ferrari track. I'm a Ferrari trying to run on a Jeep track. So these attributes are one of the most, one of the elemental things about ourselves that we can start to figure out and say, okay, this is why and how I behave the way I do. And knowing that gives us some ammunition to both maximize our performance on whatever track we're on, but also understand how to do better and tweak our engines in ways that actually help us. Because we all know there's thousands upon tens of thousands upon maybe even millions of tips, tricks, and hacks out there on how to perform better, how to do better, all these little things you can do.

45:43And not everyone works on every person, right? You know, some don't work on other people. Well, understanding your own engine helps you understand, okay, what's actually going to work on my engine? Because putting a nitrous oxide pack on a Jeep engine might not be the right idea. You might blow the gaskets, right? So it helps you, in fact, pick the right tools by this self-awareness, self-understanding. So that's, I think, what was one of my goals with writing this book was to write a book that wasn't a SEAL book, and it wasn't a book about SEALs or top performers or athletes or anything. The book, I wanted to write a book that was about the reader.

46:15and when the reader reads it, say, wait a second, this book's about me. And I'm learning something about me and that was what I wanted to do. And I think so far the feedback I'm getting is that that's what people are thinking, which is cool. I love that analogy and it's wonderful because it gives everyone an opportunity to figure out what works best for them where they can excel. And putting this book together and doing the research and your findings, Is there anything in particular that somebody who is looking under their hood should be looking for in order to figure out whether they're the Jeep or the Ferrari or notable pieces that can help them orient to a better lifestyle that suits their needs?

47:02Yeah. So the process is highly subjective and introspective. And what I'll say about attributes is that attribute, we all have all of the attributes. The difference in each one of us are the levels to which we have each. So if we take adaptability as an attribute, I might be, if one's low and 10's high, I might be a level eight on adaptability, which means when the world around me changes outside of my control, it's fairly easy for me to go with the flow and roll with it. Someone else might be a level three, which means when the same thing happens to them, it's difficult for them. Again, no judgment.

47:35Judging where we fall on these attributes is like judging our hair color. There's nothing we can do. It's useless. But if we were to line all the attributes up on a wall, like dimmer switches, all of our switches would be on different levels, and we'd have to figure that out. So that's number one is kind of figure out where you stand. And then it's going to be about understanding how that fits into the context of your current life and your current goal set, right? Because the attributes required to do one thing are different than the attributes required to do another. So the attributes required to be a Navy SEAL, that list is going to be different than the attributes required to be a stand-up comic or a teacher or a doctor, right?

48:10And some attributes, if you're low on, it doesn't really matter because in the context of your goal, it's actually fine, right? So the stand-up comic, for example, doesn't need a lot of empathy, okay? It doesn't need to be high on the empathy scale. In fact, too much empathy might actually hurt a stand-up comic because how are you supposed to find funny at a funeral if you're too empathetic, right? So if a stand-up comic world and says, oh, I'm a little low on empathy, it's like, okay, that's fine. I don't need to work on that. But if, on the other hand, someone says, yeah, I want to be a surgeon, right?

48:43And so courage, in my mind, courage would have to be one of those ones you have a lot of because, gosh, I can't even imagine doing that. Then someone's going to need to work on that or whatever it is, adaptability or perseverance. So you name the attribute. Again, it's a subjective task. So I think every person needs to understand, A, where they stand, and then B, say, hey, what are my goals? And what are the niches within which I want to excel and succeed? And then how does that line up with what I'm coming to the table with? And if there are gaps, then start working the gaps. That's great. And most importantly is putting yourself in a position to be challenged so you can see where these attributes lie.

49:22You're not going to find them or discover them eating Cheetos, binging on Netflix. That's right. In fact, and it's not something you're going to be able to look in the mirror and just guess. There was 138 folks in your Hell Week, if I remember correctly. And I'm sure every one of those guys going into it says, I got the attributes that it's going to take to get through this. And how many passed? We started 168, something like that. And we graduated 38. Yeah, so – and that's normal numbers. I mean you're talking about 11 percent, 10 to 11 percent of success rates, so 89 to 90 percent attrition.

50:01Because, yeah, because these attributes are the most visible and visceral experientially during times of challenge and uncertainty and stress. You can't sit across – this is where businesses and teams get it wrong because they assume sometimes that they can hire or they hire based on skills because skills are highly visible. They're measurable. You can score them. You can put stats around them. You can put them on resumes. You can see. But skills don't tell us how people behave in uncertainty and challenge and stress. Attributes do. And so you can't sit across the table from someone in an interview and assess how adaptable they are or how resilient they are.

50:36You just can't do it. It's experience that actually helps that vet out. And so it's important for us to understand that these experiences. And so here's the good news. Every single one of us as human beings has been through challenge, uncertainty, and stress. We all have, right? So we all have vignettes that we can look back on and start thinking about how we performed. And if we're honest with ourselves, we can say, you know what? I'm not very adaptable. Adapting is hard for me. Or I'm not very patient. Or I'm not very resilient. That type of introspection and self-awareness allows someone to then say, okay, do I need to work on that?

51:11If someone wants to develop an attribute, they can do it. It just takes a lot of, it's different than learning a skill. You have to, it takes self-motivation, self-direction. It takes a willingness for that person to step into discomfort and uncertainty and challenge so they may develop it. But that's the difference. And a quick back of the envelope test for the audience to determine whether or not it's a skill or an attribute is to ask the question or questions, can I teach it or can it be taught? Okay. If the answer is yes, it's probably a skill. If the answer is no, it's probably an attribute.

51:42The example would be, AJ and Johnny, you say to me, Rich, I want to learn how to shoot a gun, a pistol, and hit a bullseye every time. Well, I could take both of you out to the range and teach you how to do that within a couple hours. That's a skill. But if you say, Rich, we want to be more patient, okay, I can't teach you patience, right? Both of you would have to go find – you'd have to be self-motivate, self-direct, and then go find experiences and situations that test and tease and develop your patience, whatever those are. So I don't know, you go to the grocery store and pick the longest line to stand in every time.

52:12I don't know what that is, or drive deliberately in traffic, but you have to find them. To listen to our full conversation with Rich, check out Rich Divini, Five Navy SEAL Attributes to Overcome Any Obstacle and Achieve Optimal Performance, linked in the show notes. And to wrap it up, here's some wisdom from Dan Luna. Dan's career with the Navy SEAL spanned 20 years where he led at the unit, operational, and command level. Hear Dan talk about getting and maintaining motivation and setting goals. So I really like defining things. So whether it's my definition or your definition, hey, let's give this thing shape.

52:46So if we're going to use this word motivation, let's give it shape. And then as we give it shape, then we can measure it. So if we define it, we can measure it. Right now, resilience is a great one. So there's over a hundred different, there's more, but particularly, you know, for my dissertation work and what I'm writing about within the military, there's over a hundred different definitions of resilience. So if there's that many definitions to define something, how do we measure it? And then what are we measuring? Are we measuring process? Are we measuring outcomes? Are we measuring attributes?

53:18Like, so how do we, how do we like get our mind around this? So for motivation, what I like using, which once again, isn't my work, just all nerd stuff is choice, persistence, and mental effort. So, oh, I'm really motivated to work out every day. Well, what motivates you? Well, I choose to live a certain way or whatever that choice is. Well, even though I choose to go work out, what's the mental effort in which I do and I put into that? Like I could go downstairs and ride the bike for 30 minutes and not break a sweat and somebody else could go downstairs. I have a gym in my basement. Or I could go downstairs and work out for 15 minutes and crush myself.

54:05So how much effort am I putting into that thing that I'm choosing? And then persistence. How long am I doing this thing for? And so for motivation, that's a great way to break it out. what does somebody choose? Persistence, mental effort. And then when it comes to goals, there could be a motivational gap. So in what they choose, it could be lack of confidence. I don't think I can do it. So now we're talking about self-efficacy. It could be, I don't find value in that. So now we're talking like utility value. It could be an emotional, like, ah, it doesn't feel good to me or I don't feel good. Right.

54:45So now there's an emotion behind it. So there could be, so all of those kind of fall in the category of motivation. Another thing could be a knowledge gap. They simply don't know. And then the final thing is classified. So the framework that I'm sharing with you guys right now is called KMNO. So knowledge, motivation, organization. It's another framework. It's actually a performance framework for gap analysis. And I'm being a little nerdy here. I feel like I'm looking at you guys and you guys are like two really cool dudes. And I feel like the nerd on this podcast right now. So if we set a goal, I want to lose 10 pounds.

55:28We're essentially saying that there's a deficit, that I'm missing something, or I want to make more money, or I want to do this. there is a space between where I currently am and where I want to be. So if there's a space, but there's a gap. So now how do what is what are the pair of glasses that I put on to look at that gap? Is there something that I don't know? I want to own a bunch of real estate and have passive income. Awesome. Do you know anything about real estate? No, I don't know anything about real estate, but I'm super motivated. Okay, that's great. So now how do we close the gap? I need to learn more about commercial real estate.

56:07Okay. Do you have the resources to get into commercial real estate? So kind of the, Oh, the organization. Nope. My company has no money. I have no, I have nothing like, okay, maybe we need to work on some resources to bring in. So then you can then close that gap. So once again, there's, there's many frameworks out there. This happens to be a framework that over the past few years of doing my dissertation, I picked because my audience is the SEAL teams who are deeply concerned with performance. So I chose a performance framework. Well, what I love about that is it allows you to start to see the pieces in that gap that are missing.

56:52So we laughed about this earlier, but that common refrain of I read all the books, I've listened to all the podcasts. We often over-index on the knowledge piece because it's just freely available. It's everywhere you look, every platform you're on, there's knowledge. There's little tidbits of knowledge. There's science studies as we've gone into some of these deep mindsets and frameworks here. They're all based in great experiments in science. We've shared a lot of knowledge, but oftentimes what we find with the clients that we work with, they're failing in the other two areas. They don't have the resources available to them in the organization piece, and they haven't really clearly aligned the motivation behind it.

57:32They're not quite sure. And sometimes that motivation waxes and wanes. And that's really where mentorship and accountability and coaching can come into play to help close that gap faster, right? But the last thing you want to be doing is just sitting there spinning your wheels in the knowledge department, constantly accumulating more and more knowledge, but that gap never changes. It'll certainly allow you to argue on Twitter for hours, but it certainly ain't getting you any closer to where you want to be. And that goes back to the beginning of this, you know, talking to folks like, oh, I do all this stuff and I know, awesome, what are you doing with it?

58:07Or what's holding you back? You know, what is your leadership? The other things, what's your leadership workout look like? You know, so if leadership is a muscle, like you said earlier, how are you working out that muscle? What are you training on? What are you focusing on? And what's that focus going back to, are you focusing on yourself or is an area, you know, one element of yourself that you're really focusing on? Are you focusing on others or your team? Are you focusing on the mission and the goals for it? So which element are you really focusing on? And I even, you know, I say all these things in a, in a shorter way.

58:42When somebody asked me about book recommendations, you know, same thing, Dan, what, what book do you recommend? it's almost like what workout what exercise do you recommend like well what are you trying to achieve what are you trying to do and how I look at books it's the same way like nutrition I'm trying to lose weight well then I'm going to eat a certain way I'm trying to put on weight well then I'm going to eat a very different way you know I'm trying to do this or that that's going to change what so I'll ask individuals you know like oh what book do you recommend what are you trying to do what direction are you moving in and you know specifically and then what books will help support you with potentially that knowledge gap.

59:20And then going back to like, hey, we're closing that knowledge gap. And now how do you implement that in your doing? And if there's something missing there through journaling now, so now that we have framework that we can go through and framework helps ask us, we can ask ourselves questions. As we put ourselves through the framework, as we learn to ask ourselves questions, we can now show up as a better, what, coach, mentor, teacher to our team, which then supports. And now we're bringing everyone up, which then what? As I support myself, I'm now, as I get stronger, I'm now better able to support my teammates.

59:56And as they get stronger, we're now what? More ready to accomplish a mission, task, or goal. So upon self-reflection, having these experiences in combat and then the academy, and now in your graduate school work, is there something you wish you knew around leadership, wish had been part of the military training at the very start, looking back and speaking to Dan, the young leader, ready and able to take action, committed, that you feel right now that you've learned through all of this work that, man, if I had it in my 20s, would have been really impactful. Don't be so hard on yourself. It's almost like a performance paradox.

1:00:38Like being hard on yourself gets you to certain places and gets you in certain rooms. And it also can be crushing at the same time. And so I would look to still work hard. And maybe that internal dialogue of things that I said to myself, I'd be a little gentler with myself around mistakes or certain expectations. I think I still could have met all those performance markers being a little bit, a little bit kinder to myself. Yeah. I feel that's always the challenge looking back is this need to feel like it's a sprint when in actuality it's a marathon. Yeah. For me, it was pedal to the metal at all times and, and it only drove me right into a wall.

1:01:29So it's important to let up and know that you have that have that time and we see what a lot of our younger clients are like i want everything right now okay well we got a lot of work to do but i'm glad you have that one that that one will be the motivation that we need but and it's and now later in life right so running that formula all the way through life and now later in life when I do slow down, what pops up in my head? Oh, you're being lazy. Oh, you're letting yourself go or, oh, you're doing this. So it's just like, oh, but just noticing those thoughts and not shutting those thoughts out because those thoughts are communicating something.

1:02:14So just like if I have discomfort in my body, my body's communicating something with me or if my my intuitive state or my intuition, whatever there it's, it's all communicating. So those thoughts are communicating something with me and to take note of it. And then almost like a self negotiation. So going back to goals, I want to get up at 4am, but I'm getting up at 6am right now. Well, let's split the difference and let's try 5am. Let's start there and see how that goes. So it's the same thing with, Hey, I'm going to take a break. Okay. Well, maybe a break is 20 minutes. Maybe it's an hour. Maybe it's taking 30 minutes in the morning.

1:02:54Maybe it's taking something later in the afternoon. So almost like finding that balance point and that goes back to calibration. So how it shows up for me will be different than how it shows up for you guys. So my break might be way longer and you're like, oh my goodness, Dan, like you are a lazy dude. And I might be like, hey, this is what I need to then sit back behind the computer and keep typing away or whatever it is. To hear the full episode, check out five tips to lead like a Navy SEAL in any setting with Dan Luna, linked in the show notes.

1:03:38If you've listened this far, my guess is because you want more out of life and finally succeed at love, work, and life. If that's the case, then join us, the Art of Charm team and listeners just like you who are experiencing breakthrough conversations, supercharging their confidence and growing an incredible network inside our world famous X Factor Accelerator program. The X Factor Accelerator is where high achieving like-minded people meet, strategize to unlock your hidden X Factor to make sure that you get the most out of life's opportunities and unlock those doors keeping you from success. We start every month with a goal setting strategy session.

1:04:12So you have a personalized plan of attack as well as weekly practice sessions with opportunities to practice all of your conversation skills, rapport building, supercharging your charisma through powerful communication. Imagine what you can accomplish with coaching and mentorship with the art of charm. What are you waiting for? Join us today at unlockyourxfactor.com. All right, before we head out, a huge thank you to our producers, Michael Harold and Eric Montgomery. We hope you have an epic week.

1:04:46You threw your love away Like you was just a toy And you sold the world You're a song of a tragedy Cause you had your taste All black on the yesterday Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you

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