Create the OUTCOME You Want | A Conversation with Shane Parrish | Art of Charm

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28:42Now available in Canada too. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash charm. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash charm. If you do not isolate those points, you begin building a narrative in your mind of what the problem actually is. And then you're coming up with a solution for a problem that a lot of times isn't the problem. By being more isolated in your thinking and more focused of what this meeting is going to be about, then everyone can contribute. But your cognitive processes are now narrowed, And they're focused on certain aspects that everyone can, and hopefully through that meeting, get more of a 360 high resolution view of what that problem is so that you can then have another meeting of, okay, now that we've talked about what it is, let's go over solutions.

29:42And having an opportunity to discuss multiple different solutions to that problem keeps us from building out that narrative because the way we think is a narrative form. And so by putting in solutions, we immediately go to what that problem is going to be if this is going to be the solution. It's not proper thinking. It's narrative. It's not clear thinking. Right. Right. And so the idea is to sort of allow space, create natural pauses that don't impact the outcome. I mean, I worked in operations, right? Speed matters. But just breaking up those two meetings and waiting a night, which you can do 99.9 % of the time, allows you to get clarity, get to a better decision, get to a better outcome.

30:32It doesn't mean you're going to be perfect every time. I don't want the illusion that we're going to be perfect. but it does mean we're going to be better than what we would have been otherwise. And there's sort of like a lot of these safeguards that we can put in place that just allow us to be clearer thinkers. And instead of, you know, recognizing when you're angry, which we also talk about in the book and like what to do, it's more like, let's put a lot of effort into how do we avoid that situation to begin with? How do we structure an environment to be conducive so that that happens less frequently.

31:08So now that I'm exercising willpower a lot less frequently, I need to recognize it a lot less frequently. And when it does happen, what do I do about it? Well, automatic rules for success take care of that because I just need to follow my rule. And so it doesn't matter that I'm angry. I'm still in my head, the default, I'm hardwired to follow rules. So even though I'm angry, I'm going to be like, oh, my rule is this. I don't talk bad about people. Maybe that's my rule. I don't talk for other people. That's a great rule to have at the office, right? I don't ever speak for other people. And I think it's just so important to think through the problems from a very different lens.

31:43Like everything I read on decision making and clear thinking is like, fill out these spreadsheets and do these decisions. And it's because professor and, you know, I love professors. So please, if anybody's listening and you're a professor, don't take this the wrong way. But you overcomplicate things and like people in the real world don't really do that. stuff, right? And you need to make it complicated because you need a whole class that's like 13 weeks and 50 hours. And funding and tenure. Yeah. And you want funding and you want tenure. And the more complicated it is, you're the only one who understands it.

32:16You're the expert. There's a lot of recognition here. So I took a different approach, which is like, how do people think clearly in the real world? Why is it that some people are consistently better at getting better outcomes than other people? And is there a pattern that I can ascertain to those people? And the two things that really struck out for clear thinking are they position themselves well, so they're never out of position. They're never forced by circumstances into doing something they don't want to do. They manage their defaults. They do it through rituals and safeguards, and then they think independently.

32:52But you can't really think independently if you're not in the right position. And you can't think independently if the situation is thinking for you or your defaults are thinking for you. So let's talk about rituals because this is something that's definitely changed my life. And I know for many of our coaching clients, their day starts with notifications and things to do for other people and inboxes. And they don't have rituals. But when we look at top performers, so if you're watching the US Open, there's breathing going on before Or that second serve after they faulted on the first one. Why?

33:24They're emotional. The point's on the line. They need to get this in. So we can build rituals. They don't have to be day-long events, hour-long events. But they are a space for that pause that we're talking about. Unfortunately, as you were saying, with a lot of professors, we have a default preference for action. We want to move. We want to move fast. We want action. When in actuality, that action can work against us. and creating rituals in your life can create the space and the pause necessary to start thinking clearly. I just want to add to that really quickly as well. I've also seen that for a lot of our clients, they're living life and being reactive to what's going on around them.

34:04And that being reactive then sets them up being to be triggered. And then they start recognizing these patterns, which is why they come to us. It's like, I'm seeing this pattern. It's now affecting my life. I need to break it. So for us, it's to move them to a position where they can be proactive in their day and how they're going to be handling that. And when you meet somebody who operates in that manner, you can see the rules that they have set up in their life so that they can be proactive rather than reactive. So to answer AJ's question, then go ahead, Shane, and clarify that. Yeah, so many thoughts on this, right?

34:44We're programmed to think in terms of speed, but not velocity. And the difference between the two is velocity has a vector. So velocity is speed towards a destination, whereas I can run around in a circle and I'm going fast, but I'm really not going anywhere. And so once you start thinking in terms of speed towards target, towards destination, towards outcome, it changes things a little bit, right? What outcome am I running towards? Is this outcome worth wanting? That's a different question. And you can use rituals as a way that the best version of yourself, another form of safeguard, right? You can use the rituals, the best version of yourself once you follow them and it becomes ingrained.

35:24I did this with my kids. They were sort of homeschooled during COVID to the extent that that was even possible. And then they switched schools after that and they started getting homework again. So they hadn't had homework for a while. And I don't know about everybody else's kids, but my kids hated the idea of coming home after school and doing homework, right? So it was a battle. And we would do it at a different time every day, right? And during this time, right, they paid attention all day in class. They're young. That's hard on them. It's really a struggle. and they have 90 minutes of homework.

35:56So they don't go to a school where it's like, here, read this little 10 sentence book and like, that's your homework. It's like, no, they got legit studying homework, tasks, exams. And so they come home and it was just big power struggle. And I was like, why don't we just create a ritual around this? You come home, you get a space. It's about 40 minutes for them to come home on the bus. They get a space, they can decompress, they can do their thing. They come home, they shower and then they come down to the table and they start doing their homework. dining room table. And it took about a month to install this ritual.

36:30And every day I would have to like, I wouldn't say force them, but remind them of what they wanted to do. And the way that we came up with this is super powerful for adults too. It was like, what would the best version of yourself do? You want A pluses. What would an A plus student do in this situation? Well, they would come home and do this. What would the best version of yourself do? Same thing. Okay. Why don't we try that and see how it works. So after a month of doing this consistently every day, and consistency is the key, and I want to come back to consistent in a second. I left. So I'm always home for the kids after school, but I wanted to see what would happen if for a few days, nobody was there.

37:08So they came home, they showered, they went downstairs, and they did their homework. The ritual had taken over where willpower failed. They didn't need discipline. They didn't need willpower. They just followed the ritual. We're biological creatures. This is what we do. We follow the ritual. We follow the culture of the organization. We follow the instinct. The problem is most of us are inconsistent. And consistency is the key to so much in life. It's like we're Sisyphus, right? We roll the boulder halfway up the hill and we're like, you know, there's a lot of work. I'm going to come back to this next week.

37:42And we leave and what happens to the boulder? It falls down. Think about learning a language, Duolingo. I've had hundreds of people I know sign up for Duolingo. And man, they're advocates for like two weeks. And then all of a sudden they skip a day. Then all of a sudden they skip another day. And then all of a sudden they're no further ahead than they were. What happened? Consistency matters. You need to be consistent. You need to do just a little bit every day towards your goals. So the way to identify the rituals that are super important to you or the ones that are getting in the way. and I had this thing and I didn't come up with this.

38:15I forget who came up with it. I don't want anybody to think it's me. I don't actually come up with most of these ideas. I get them from other people. But it's imagine a film crew following you around all day and they're not documenting your life. They're documenting the life you want to have, the success you want to have. What would they see? What would you not want them to see? And then you start acting like the person who gets that success would act. You know, the person that achieves success, maybe they don't wake up in the morning and check their phone and let other people usurp their day.

38:51Maybe they're more conscious about how they spend their time. Maybe they avoid all these things that I'm wasting my time on. And the biggest thing that we sort of miss is like, we often focus on things outside of our control, or again, going back to the gas or water on a situation. When we pour gas on a situation, we have to repair that relationship. And all the time that we spend focusing on things we don't control, fixing relationships because we reacted without reasoning, all that time comes at the expense of velocity, which is direction and speed. And it doesn't matter how fast you're going, but if you go inch by inch, even centimeter by centimeter, but you can pound that result day after day, week after week, month after month, you're going to reach your destination.

39:34And we don't often realize how we signal to other people, and then they reflexively signal back to us. And in a lot of these negative rituals, we don't recognize that we're not only impacting our decisions, but we're impacting our team members' decisions. We're impacting our spouses' decisions. We're impacting our children's decisions. So one of my coaching clients was saying to me, I'd love to spend more time with my family. So I was like, well, let's walk through your day. What's going on? He has two companies. He's busy. and then I'm like, well, what do you do after dinner? That's a great time to spend with your family.

40:08And he's like, well, actually what happens is I got to catch up on work for my side business so I go back in the office and I'm answering some emails and then every once in a while I'll watch some YouTube videos and I'll get sucked in and then what do you know, the kids are already in bed and my wife is exhausted. I'm like, okay, well that seems like prime family time. So let's go through the last four days of emails that you sent between six and six in the morning. And he went through the emails and I was like, well, was that something that could be handled at 9 p.m. from your team member? Was that something that really needed a response?

40:41Was that person going to reply to that email at 10 o 'clock at night? No. Okay, so we have a negative ritual here. We're ritualistically answering emails at a time that a better ritual for you would be spending that with your family and creating more time in the morning to just bang out those emails. Well, that also gets you out of your office, which you've admitted has a screen and all of a sudden you're watching stuff you didn't mean to watch and you're surfing things you didn't mean to surf. So we don't recognize that he's also stressing his team because now they're getting emails at nine o 'clock at night and they're like, I want to be with my family.

41:15What do I do? I got to respond to this. And then they're conditioning him that everything needs a response so they're going to rapidly respond back to him. And it's a vicious cycle that's not only impacting your decision-making and you're not thinking clearly but now your team members aren't thinking clearly. And you want to talk about affecting velocity. Well, if no one in the group is thinking clearly, we're moving fast, we got a lot of speed, but we're not going in the right direction. Totally. And as you're saying that, it also ties to the ego default. One of the reasons that we do this is almost signaling to other people unconsciously.

41:50I don't think anybody consciously does it, but unconsciously, we're important. We're important at work. What are we taught? as people were taught that, you know, you need to contribute to your family. You need to do that. That's important. I'm contributing to the family when I do this, but this is the lie that we're telling ourselves, like going for a walk with your partner and your kids every night, a ritual after dinner, even if it's like 15 or 20 minutes, I find I get the best information from the kids. When we go for walks, there's no eye contact. There's nothing else to do. There's no screens anywhere.

42:25The kids just, it's phenomenal, the amount of stuff that they'll tell you in those moments. But we're fed, oh, I got to check my phone. Why am I checking my phone? Well, I'm important. I'm so important that I have to check my phone. There's signaling involved in it. And I don't think it's conscious. I think it's sort of unconscious. And this goes to another idea we talk about in the book, which is sort of like making the invisible visible. So we have all the stuff going on under the hood and how do we surface that and how do we live more consciously? How do we get to the life that we want? We sort of talked about that a little bit in terms of getting, you know, making sure that we're going towards the destination we want and living life in a way that creates that environment, that system that we want to get towards.

43:11Yeah. And certainly having these, these rules set up also allows you to create that velocity moving in the right direction. So you have focus on those goals. There are rules set up in order to be successful to reach those goals. And the usual things that become distractions that take us off of our focus, they don't have that opportunity to affect us. We now get to those when everything else is in place and we're able to deal with those in a way that doesn't take away from well-being and satisfaction in life, where normally those things will. I mean, the culture that we're in is that in order to have a very stress-free life, you need to be laid back.

44:06Well, laid back puts you in a position to be reactive to everything. Which has the opposite effect. You're now a slave to everyone else's issues, all the distractions that are around us with technology. It makes it difficult to get any traction and momentum towards our goals. that needs to be. And this is why having an understanding of what is the best version of yourself and how does that best version work towards its goals and what are the processes that we need to put in place in order to stay focused and handle everything else. Because once those rules are set up, that's where your stress-free life is.

44:51You can be relaxed. You can go through your rituals. You can wake up excited every day for the rituals that you've created that you enjoy engaging in because they get you to where you want to be going. Yeah. I think one of the questions that people need to ask themselves annually, if not even more frequently, is like, is where I'm going where I actually want to go or where society has told me to go, right? Often, if you go to any retirement home or you pick up, I think it was Carl Pilmer who did this book, like Lessons for the Living, from people near the end of their life. And the number one consistent thing in there was if I could go back, I would spend more time on these things that society tells me is not the most important thing.

45:38And one of the stories in the book is sort of, who do we know that got money, power, and success and achieved all of those things? And then at the end of his life, he wanted a do-over. Ephraim Neeser Scrooge. The story's been around for a long time. Why did he want money, power, and success? Society told him those things were important. And he got all of those things. But the way that he achieved those things was mutually exclusive from living a life of meaning. So at the end of his life, he just wanted to go back and do it all over again. And I feel like conscious living and being proactive is not just proactive about moving toward the destination.

46:16It's proactive about, am I going toward the right destination? and I want to do that consciously because where you think you want to go when you're 20 is a lot different than where you want to go when you're 50 and so just checking in with yourself which is like yes it's important to be proactive about moving towards that goal but do I really have the right goal is that my goal or is this somebody else's goal and I think that those I do this yearly so I usually go away it's often in December and it's like one night or two nights and I sort of like, just do a check-in with myself. And this is one of the questions that I ask myself, right?

46:51Am I going to the right place? Am I working towards the right goals? I think for many, the struggle with hearing that pause is then pause so long you get to worry. And you can't think clearly again, you're on the other side of all the options. And am I making the right one? Am I going to regret this? So how can we avoid a pause turning into worry and again, and ruining our chances of thinking clearly. Yeah. I think one of the concepts we talk about in the book is sort of ASAP or ALAP, and you can make a decision right away. If it's sort of a two-way door and there's low consequences, the cost of failure is really low.

47:29You could just make that decision on the spot. You go to the grocery store, they don't have your toothpaste. I mean, you don't have to ruminate over this very long. You just pick up a new brand. If it doesn't work, you know, it's like two bucks or like, it's like 10 bucks now. It used to be like two bucks a couple years ago. And the cost of undoing that decision is really low. Something like a TV, and I noticed this with friends, they would spend weeks ruminating over a TV. If you ascribed minimum wage to their time, they actually paid for the TV in research. Double, triple, yeah. Right. And so I came up with the concept of ASAP, ALAP.

48:07And how do you know it's as late as possible? Well, I came up with the idea of flop. First lost opportunity, right? Stop, flop, or no. So you stop gathering useful information. First lost opportunity, or you know what to do. Those three situations, that's when you make a decision. But you don't ruminate in the meantime. You just let things percolate. So you don't obsess. And what happens is we start obsessing over these decisions. And so why is it that we end up doing this? And then we end up with 50 decisions in our head. And what happens when we do that? We get emotional because we got all these threads.

48:44These are all like little processing threads running in our head. What do we want to do in that moment? I don't know if everybody else is like me, but it's like, I got to get this off my plate. I'm just going to decide. What do we do when we just decide? I'm just trying to check a box. I'm not trying to get towards the best outcome now. This TV, this dishwasher, you know, like you just start going through these decisions and you're in the messy middle almost, right? Like you sort of, you're not being forced to make a decision. You don't have all the information and you're not thinking clearly.

49:14So how do we avoid all this stuff? Well, half of those decisions can be made right on the spot. So you don't have 50 threads. You might be able to have like eight or nine at one time, but most of us have like 50 and they're just ongoing. Make the invisible visible, write stuff down, right? Like don't try to remember your grocery list. Just take out your iPhone and keep a note or sticky. I use stickies a lot. but I think it's so important to sort of think about how do we avoid analysis paralysis and one of the other ways we do that is we know what matters we know what destination we're going to go to and we have the concept in the book of sort of like picking the most important thing and everybody's like oh that sounds great how do you actually do that right and so we use stickies and the concept of like battling it out right and it doesn't mean that there's only one thing that matters.

50:02But if you're forced to choose which thing matters the most and stickies, you just sort of battle them. Like you hold up two sticky notes together and you're like, this one, I value more than the other. You write down all the things and then you pick up another one and you compare it against the one in your hand that matters the most. And at the end of the day, you're left with one. And now, you know, instinctively, maybe not quite rationally, you know, you're not thinking totally through it, but you have an instinct about this is the most important thing. And then you can check that instinct, which is like, is that really true?

50:34Yeah, that is. Okay. Now I know the most, it doesn't mean it's the only thing, but now I know what to focus on, what to optimize for, how to be proactive about going to get that. And I can communicate it to my team at work. So if I'm not around, everybody else knows what's the most important thing. So they can make decisions without me, which is also scary, right? One of the ego reasons that we don't do this is, you know, we don't want people making decisions without us. We want to feel really valuable. as much as I don't want to be a micromanager, I really like it when you come to me and I tell you what to do and I feel good about myself.

51:06But then we reach the ceiling of brute force. There's only so much of that we can do. And it ends up putting this invisible ceiling on us that we don't know we have. And my friend Brent Bishore explained that concept to me, which is, you know, we only have so much time in a day. We're trying to create leverage with that time. If you're micromanaging every detail, every process, every decision goes to you, well, that's going to consume all your time. And so now you're less leverageable than you otherwise could be. And I want to leverage things. I mean, I value time a lot. I want to outsource things that I don't have to do.

51:38I want people who are better at that thing to do it than me. Yeah, people who, people specialize in like all the stuff that you're doing, either in life or at work. You want them to do it. They're going to get better outcomes. And you sort of have to learn to sort of step back and let go and let other people take the spotlight. And that's really hard to do, but it's so powerful. I think we often feel action is enough and it feels good to take action. So one of the classic examples is some of our clients are dating and they'll go on tons of dates, just constantly going on dates. And they're like, I can't find the one.

52:13And I'm like, okay, well explain to me what the one looks like. Tall, attractive, enjoys fun. Okay, well that's half the globe. So you're just going to keep doing this action for the next 20 years. Like that's not at all a clear goal for you, but, oh, I'm going on dates. I'm doing the right things that society says, and it feels good to take this action, but it just takes you further from the actual goal that you have. I've been that guy going on a lot of dates, right? Because you want to meet people and you think you're going to have this instant spark. And sometimes it actually works out that way.

52:45And a lot of times, you know, you build this and we live in a world where you go home and you're like, swipe right. As soon as you get back, it's like, oh, that was a good date. 10 years ago, we would be having a second date tomorrow. But now I'm like, well, who else liked me while I was out on this date? Oh, well, stimulus response of getting this feedback. And then your friends are always asking you, well, did you go on any dates lately? So there's this social pressure to be like, oh, I went on a few. And then you tell your stories. And then they feel better about being married because you tell the story about the time a husband showed up on your date or all this crazy stuff happened.

53:21And they're like, oh, yeah, that sucks. And everybody gets a good laugh out of it. And then you go on your other 100 first dates and you're just hoping for the one. Yeah, there might be one person out there, but you're going to have to go on like a million dates to get to that person or luck out and just totally by chance. The flip side of that is like if you're a little more conscious about it at the start, you can massively cut down that filter. All of that time can be invested into a second date with somebody where you're like, yeah, that could go somewhere. And you're not really losing time.

53:51and you're increasing your velocity because it's like, often people are nervous on the first date. Often people aren't really themselves. They're positioning, right? They're posturing. They've got a mask on. They want to be on their best behavior. And so if you really want to get to know somebody and you think that, oh, that was pretty good. Like I can have a conversation with this person again. Instead of going back on your dating app and being like, oh, here's the six other dates I can line up tonight. You sort of like, oh, why don't we do this again? Why don't we do that tomorrow? And then you can start building something.

54:21It's also been a lot of the Hollywood movie magic where people are waiting for this serendipitous moment where there's these significant events that encapsulate and consume them emotionally. They're like, this has to be it. And the reality is, if that's going on, this is probably the last place that you should be because you're not thinking clearly. And not just Hollywood. You know, you ask your friends how they found each other. And oftentimes, they will fantasize a little bit. Your memory shifts towards, well, it was a special moment because this is my person. This is my partner. This is my spouse.

54:57You don't just say, oh, they were the fourth swipe that night and I just ended up hanging out with them the next day. Can you imagine? It's like, oh, my real date didn't show up. And so I booked another one and like, this is how we ended up meeting. Here we are. But back to that Hollywood thing, it's like we're expecting to show up on these dates. And there's like this light from the heavens shining on this person and the world suddenly pauses. and we're like, oh my God, I just met my soulmate. And that happens. I totally believe in love at first sight and meeting your soulmate. I just don't think it's the most common scenario.

55:30It's not the best goal for everyone to shoot for by any means. Yeah, well then you show up and you're disappointed. If that's what you're expecting, you're sort of like, oh, this person's not that. And you discount the fact that you could probably build a lot of meaningful relationships with people, whether it turns into love or it's just a really good friendship. But you discount it when it's not what you want to see. Whether it's dates or whether it's mistakes, a lot of data is available to us based on past actions. You take your Daniel Kahneman example. I'm sure he learned a lot of yeses were not right for him in order to reach the conclusion that I have to create that rule.

56:05So how do we take the data from our mistakes and use them effectively to think more clearly into the future? Well, one way to do that is a decision journal. We have a template online if anybody's interested, which is like fs.blog slash dj for Decision Journal. And what you're really doing is, it's really hard to calibrate your decisions without either feeling pain in terms of Daniel Kahneman waking up and having to travel and give a talk maybe that he didn't want to give. And that's pain, right? So that pain triggers a reflection. You do it enough and you're like, wait, what am I doing here? I don't want to be doing this.

56:43But for most of us, we can just write down, like, here's what we knew, here's what we thought would happen, here's how I thought it would play out, here are the variables, the situation. And then you go back and you don't have to share this with anybody. Often you can even shred it after you write it, but you sort of write it down and you do it with your handwriting. It's really important that you don't do it on a computer because you don't want to convince yourself that somebody else wrote it and you will. But when you go back and you look at it, you're like, oh, I missed this, right? Or often we get, you know, directionally correct outcomes, but for the wrong reason, which is luck.

57:15We don't really quite understand why we got it right and our reasoning didn't make sense. But that helps us calibrate and that helps us learn from the data, right? We know what the outcome is at that point. We know how things played out. The other way to do it is sort of what we talked about earlier. Use a film crew or work backwards, right? One of my favorite things for data is imagining myself when I'm 90 and I'm sort of like, I think it'll be like 120, but I'm like on my deathbed. And I'm sort of like last breath at the hospital. I'm surrounded by people and I'm unconscious, but I can hear everybody talking.

57:52And it's like, what are they saying about me? And are they saying the things that I want them to be saying or not? And how this helps with data is like, am I living my life in a way that is going to engender those people to say those things or not? Or am I doing it like Ebenezer Scrooge where I'm living my life in a way to maximize for these variables, but I'm doing it mutually exclusive from what actually matters to me. And that data can help you change. And I had a near-death experience a couple years ago. That was a turning point, right? Because I'm like, I thought I was going to die. Felt like I was going to die.

58:27You know, I had booked a flight to the States because I live in Canada and I was going to plop my credit card down at a hospital if I could get out of bed and sort of be like, fix me. And I remember just lying there in bed going like, wow, if this is it, how would I have changed the last year of my life? What would I have done differently? And can I use that if I somehow come out of this, which looked pretty bleak at the time? Could I use that information to live a more meaningful life? And we don't have to do this. We can just do this thought experiment. You don't actually have to nearly die to get this information.

59:01And I was like, you know what? I'm actually doing most of the things that I want to be doing. There's a few tweaks here and there that I sort of changed after. But that was really good feedback. And it comes back again. Pause. Am I going towards the right destination? Or am I running in circles? And I'm running in circles because somebody told me to run in circles. And if you want to run in circles, that's great. Just be conscious about it. And don't fool yourself into thinking that that's what you want if it's not what you want. It's a beautiful exercise. Hopefully, many of us won't have to go through a near-death experience to get there.

59:33But a very valuable lesson in that reflection. Johnny and I are so thankful you joined us. We love asking every guest what their X factor is. What do you think makes you unique and extraordinary, Shane? I don't know if I feel like I'm unique and extraordinary. I was thinking about this a little bit before. I feel like I'm just this dude who lucked out with a platform. And to the extent that that platform is valuable, I want to share other people's ideas and insights. And I want to make opportunity more equal than it currently is. by making high quality information accessible to everybody else.

1:00:08And if I can do that, I think I've left the world a better place. Well, you've certainly done it consistently and we appreciate it. Where can our listeners find out more about all of your great work and this new upcoming book? Yeah, the book on Amazon or anywhere books are sold, Clear Thinking, Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Outcomes. I see John has a hardcover there. You can find me online at fs.blog. email me your favorite section of the book at shane at fs.blog I don't respond to every email but I definitely read every email the last person the last email I got was page 113 changed my life so I want to know what page impacts you and what page makes a difference for you well it's a great book it's very easy to make your way through with all these great concepts and I'm excited to see the emails that our listeners send your way Shane oh thank you thanks AJ thanks John

1:01:07This week's shout out goes to Brad who writes in to tell us, Guys, I can't thank you enough for the Art of Charms X Factor Accelerator. Before I joined, I was a young professional searching for direction in a network of like-minded, high-value individuals. This program isn't just a program, but a transformational journey that has helped me gain clarity on my goals. The networking strategies are easy and eye-opening. I went from feeling overwhelmed and unsure to confidently connecting with people who shared my ambitions. AJ, Johnny, and Michael are absolute game changers. Their guidance helped me navigate challenges I thought were insurmountable.

1:01:43I can't emphasize enough on how the Art of Charms human dynamics programs have propelled my career and personal life forward. I feel like I have a blueprint to human psychology and connection. If you're a young professional looking to excel, this program is your secret weapon. Join me in countless others on this transformational journey. Don't wait any longer. Discover the power of this program and become the elite performer you were meant to be. Well, thank you, Brad. And that's right, guys and gals. Join us today. What are you waiting for? Join us at unlockyourxfactor.com. Well, thank you very much, everybody, for listening in.

1:02:22And if you got value out of this podcast, why don't you give us a hand and head on over to where you listen to podcasts or Apple Podcasts and rate and review this podcast so that our visibility rises and other people can find this show and get the value that they deserve in their lives. All right, before we head out, a huge thank you to our producers, Eric Montgomery and Michael Harold. Go out there, everybody, and crush it.

1:02:56You threw your love away Like it was just a toy And you sold the world You sold the tragedy Cause you had your taste Of black only yesterday Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you It was my love, but I'd rather run away