In short
Podcast Episode Summary: The Art of Charm - Don’t Chase Trends—Chase Tension | Robert Siegel
Podcast Overview The Art of Charm is a podcast where self-motivated individuals learn about mastering human dynamics, relationships, and personal development from the founders, Johnny and AJ. They share insights from their extensive coaching experience, helping listeners become higher performers in various aspects of life.
Episode Overview Episode Title: Don’t Chase Trends—Chase Tension Guest: Robert Siegel, Stanford professor and venture capitalist Main Themes: The behaviors that separate average performers from high-impact leaders, including humility, listening, and self-reflection.
Key Discussion Points
- Background and Insights from Technology and Venture Capital:
- Robert Siegel discusses patterns observed in effective leaders, emphasizing that charisma does not equate to competence.
- He highlights the importance of slowing down and listening, especially under pressure.
- Leadership Challenges:
- The episode explores how leaders can be drawn into a "hero culture," which can undermine team dynamics (e.g., lessons from Motorola).
- Siegel stresses the importance of transitioning from a control-oriented mindset to one based on trust.
- Credibility and Influence:
- Introduction of the "credibility bank account" concept, which reflects how credibility affects influence and decision-making.
- Emotional Intelligence in Leadership:
- Discussion on the emotional intelligence gaps often seen in CEOs and leaders.
- Emphasizes the need for humility in hiring, management, and growth.
- Balancing Empathy and Execution:
- Effective leaders must balance empathy with the need for accountability and execution.
- Asking Good Questions:
- Siegel points out the power of inquiry over providing answers, which can foster better understanding and collaboration.
- Legacy and Influence:
- Insights into what Siegel teaches his Stanford students regarding legacy and the impact of leadership.
Practical Takeaways
- Embrace Tension, Not Trends: Leaders should focus on navigating tension rather than chasing fleeting trends in leadership styles.
- Invest in People: A commitment to retraining and reskilling employees is essential for long-term organizational success.
- Adapt to Generational Changes: Understanding different generational perspectives, especially with regards to work-life balance and side hustles, is crucial for effective leadership.
- Foster Collaboration: Encouraging team collaboration can enhance learning and innovation, especially in the context of new technologies like AI.
Conclusion The conversation with Robert Siegel emphasizes the evolving nature of leadership in today's fast-paced environment. It challenges conventional wisdom about leadership styles, urging a focus on deeper human dynamics and authentic connections rather than superficial traits.
For more insights on leadership and personal development, listeners are encouraged to explore Siegel's teachings and his new book, The Systems Leader.
Resources
- Visit [Robert Siegel's website](http://robertesiegel.com) for more information on his work and insights.
- Find The Systems Leader available at major bookstores like Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
Call to Action
- If you found value in this episode, please rate and review the podcast to help others discover these insights.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
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0:33When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp. The secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans. Send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom's 60th. And never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end-to-end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone. Learn more at whatsapp.com. this generation is going to do things differently. And I might like the way it was done before, but one of my mentors used to ask us, do you like gravity? And then he would look at us and say, gravity doesn't care.
1:11I may not like the fact that they're using AI, but they're going to use it anyways. And so the question is, how do I make it a better experience either in a company serving customers, in the classroom, then even with the assignments of how I test mastery of do they really understand the material or not?
1:33Well, welcome to the show. It's great to have you. Thanks so much for having me. It's great to be here. What sparked this book and idea for you? So I've been teaching a course called Systems Leadership with my old boss, Jeff Immelt, the former CEO of GE for the last eight years here at Stanford at the Graduate School of Business. And originally, I had been doing a course called The Industrialist Dilemma that looked at how, in a world where every product and service had a digital and physical component, how you design products differently and how you organize your company differently. And so Jeff and I started exploring how leadership is different in a world where everything is connected.
2:12And then as COVID and everything continued to progress, we kind of realized that crisis leadership and leading businesses in today's world is pretty radically different than a it was even 10, 12 years ago. And so the idea of being a systems leader became the foundation of this course. And of course, if you teach a course, eventually you end up hopefully writing a book. And that's what led to my writing the book. Got it. Well, I think you bring a really unique perspective. We've had a lot of guests on our show who wrote books on leadership who don't necessarily teach leadership, but their book is largely based on their anecdotes, leading companies.
2:47You have a unique experience of not only teaching, but having experience advising companies and being involved in companies. So can you talk a little bit about how you brought those different perspectives to this project? Well, I kind of have this strange background. I was an operator for many years. I worked at large companies like GE and Intel. I was a several-time entrepreneur, a couple of companies that got bought and went public. I've been a venture capitalist and worked with a variety of startups from very small all the way through big growth companies. And then teaching at Stanford, you actually get the ability to study a lot of different companies and see how they are dealing with the challenges that they face.
3:24And so I like to think that kind of my perspective as an operator, as an investor, but also as somebody in academia, I get to look at things from different angles and different points of view, and hopefully with a little bit of empathy for the people who are leading their companies. And the great thing about being a lecturer at Stanford is that companies will tell me anything, AJ. Like I'm not a journalist, right? So like they'll tell me as I kind of talk, like talking to a therapist and they will tell me what it's really like to be running the companies, the challenges they feel internally and externally.
3:56And the goal is to try to show that to our students to say that these leaders that we see, they're not all masters of the universe. They have things that they do well and things that they need to work on and they can be very open about it. And the book is core concept is really on this idea of cross pressures that leaders are facing now. So can you talk a little bit about how business has changed in the last 10, 12 years and what you're seeing around this concept of cross pressures? Well, we're in a world of what I would call constant crisis and increasingly rapid technological change. If we go back to the internet bubble collapsing, 9-11, the global financial crisis, populism 1.0, which was Brexit and the first Trump administration of Bolsonaro in Brazil, a yellow vest in France, COVID, and now all the dynamics like this is normal aj this is exactly kind of what's happening and this notion of um how we used to lead where we'd stay inside of a function with engineering or marketing etc that doesn't work in today's world what we're finding is that today's leaders feel like they're being challenged by these cross pressures as you described it they're being pulled in diametrically opposed directions you know and i talk about things like priorities how do you both make sure that you hit your numbers, operational excellence, as well as innovate at the same time.
5:12How do you lead your people with both strength and empathy? Like how do you hold people accountable and also be empathetic? How do you think about your sphere of influence of internal and external inside of your organization? How do you think about geography, both global and local? And then finally purpose this notion of ambition versus stewardship or statesmanship. And I think that the leaders of today are being pulled with such rapid change. They're having a hard time balancing these five cross-pressures. And the idea behind the book is to say, okay, this is the world as we see it today. And we know what leadership behaviors don't work.
5:46Talk about exactly what systems leadership is and what it means to be a systems leader. And then look at these various cross-pressures that seem to be confronting leaders today. And how do some of these men and women confront these challenges and what can we learn and take away from them? And I think the thing that I find so refreshing from the men and women that I was able to work with an interview is like none of them are perfect. They will talk a lot about what they don't know and how much they get wrong, as well as what they try to do right to lead their teams and their organizations. From our vantage point, a big driving force behind what we do is innovation.
6:20And even in the time we've been running this company for 18 years, the cost of starting a business, doing business has rapidly declined. And there's more and more people entering the arena, whether it's a side hustle, a side project, Everyone seems to be driven to be entrepreneurial these days. And with that, we struggle internally around how much should we be innovating versus how much should we just be executing on what we know is working. So let's unpack that first cross pressure, because I know a lot of leaders, especially as small businesses, definitely feel that pressure today. I would argue that you have to simultaneously both execute and innovate.
6:53And let's talk about the speed of change. If you've been running your business for 18 years, we can think about everything from the cloud and cybersecurity and streaming and podcasts and everything that came up. But now with AI, the speed with which the models are changing, the capabilities of the technology, you have to be constantly thinking, even if you're an operator, what new technology is coming up? How quickly is it coming up and how quickly can I deploy it? And what we're finding as leaders need to have this duality of operating at these intersections of I need to hit my numbers and I need to be good at my operational execution.
7:25I need to be able to ship products on time, but I also need to be able to keep them current and keep them relevant for rapidly changing customer dynamics. And so this idea that you used to have in organizations, here are your crazy long hair innovators, and here are the people who make the trains run on time. And even if they were in the same company, we could keep them separate. I don't think that works anymore, that really you have to be able to manage large and small at the same time. You talked about people having a side hustle. I like to talk to the companies I work with. I don't think about the future of work is about remote versus in office.
8:01I think about the future of work is how are you thinking about the nature of your labor force and how are you thinking about how they will interact with your company? So if you're managing Gen Z and maybe even some millennials, they all have a side hustle. Like everyone's got a side hustle. That's just the nature of the work today. And that's a global phenomenon. And so for me, I like to say to companies, why not let them do it inside of your company? Why not give them multiple jobs inside of the company because they're going to do it anyways? Why not give the people what they need? Give your employees what they need.
8:29And at the same token, maybe it could also work to the advantage of the organization. I have an issue with that. I saw Johnny shaking his hand. He doesn't like that. Well, it's just incredibly troubling because we're already seeing Gen Z and younger millennials game the system already. They're working multiple jobs for multiple companies. They're quiet quitting. They're doing all of these things. They got side hustles out the wazoo because it is incredibly easy to at least get focused on a side hustle. Making money is the side of the point, but going off into the weeds and doing your own thing, it's incredibly easy with all the technology at our hands.
9:16So, you know, where do we, how do we control all of that? And then also get people engaged and excited about the actual job they were hired to do. All right. I love how you described it. Let me start by saying, probably intuitively, you and I think look the same way, except I don't have as much hair as you do. But, you know, it's like this notion that, you know, you do a job and you get paid for it and there's a task and that's what we do. That's the generation I was raised with. But now I'm in front of classrooms of hundreds of Gen Zs and they are where they are. They were raised the way they were raised, their experience in kindergarten through 12 and as undergrads.
9:57We might not like it. We may not be able to relate to it. But when I'm teaching them, I have to teach them differently. And if they're going to be doing this anyways, I can try to fight it or I can figure out and say, okay, how do I meet them where they are? But go back to something that I said earlier. When leading with people, which is one of the cross pressures, one of the things that I think is important is we need to hold people accountable, but we can also show empathy at the same time. And that's that duality that I talk about. So, for example, if somebody's not hitting their numbers, they need to be held accountable.
10:28If a student comes to my class and doesn't turn in their papers, doesn't do their work, they've got to be held accountable. And you're exactly right. We trained them to work the system. We trained them to push and to advocate for themselves. And as a Gen Xer, I'm an OG Gen Xer, as a father of three Gen Z, this is our fault. But this is how we raise them. By the time that they've come into the labor force, they're shaped.
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14:13Because if you're going and doing a side hustle, and let's say you're working for us, well, you're now learning about marketing. You're now learning about getting the tech lined up to get your offer out there to be making money online. And that's a new set of skills that if you're sharpening those and you can bring that back to the work you're doing with us, well, that's a value add to the company. I don't like it when they try to game the system and take advantage of it. That's not okay. On the other hand, this notion of retraining and re-skilling that you talked about where they're learning new capabilities and new functions.
14:41That's also something that's very important in today's world where functions inside of an organization act and interact with each other and companies act and interact with their ecosystem. And so having some understanding of what happens in another part of the company, I would argue, is a good thing. But again, their lived experience is just different than ours. And we can slam it, we can look down on it, but I've decided that that's really not effective because they are who they are. And the men and women who sit in front of me, they have a very different experience and had a very different experience with technology, with education, with media.
15:15And I've got to understand that if I'm going to figure out how to be effective, either as a teacher or as a manager. Even the people that we revere today have failures in their background, whether it was the lemonade stand as a kid or their first foray into doing WT work that led to them joining the entrepreneurial journey. I think that's an important part of recognizing, well, what are the lessons that I can take out of that? And we're in a space now where you have to be executing and innovating at these crossroads in order to be competitive and to build something new in the marketplace because it is saturated.
15:49So we're huge fans of taking those big swings. I think one of the cross brushers that you talk about that we really want to delve into today is really the people part, because I think many of us go into leadership and we have huge visions for our successful idea, getting marketed, getting into the marketplace and winning investors over. But then we often struggle with the people management piece. And those cross pressures are even greater today with online and the way that cultures and companies are built. You know, when my dad was working, it was punch in, punch out. And we didn't really think about what was going on inside of his company once he got home for dinner.
16:28Now things are much different. and we're in this always-on environment. Managing people in an always-on environment is incredibly challenging for leaders. The good news is we're always connected and the bad news is we're always connected. And so how do we also find that time and space to recharge ourselves and refresh ourselves? And recharging and refreshing ourselves also comes into our skill sets. And so, for example, one of the leaders I studied is a woman named Kathy Mazzarella who runs a company called Graybar, the old Western Electric. This is a company with about$11 billion in revenue, 10 ,000 employees.
17:00It's all employee owned. And she was described by somebody as an iron fist and a velvet glove. She's kind of one of these leaders that when she walks in a room, we all sit up a little bit straighter because somebody's kind of there with some gravitas and authority, but she's a very kind person and she shows her humanity and sees other people's humanity. And she invests heavily in her labor force. You see that with the amount of money that Like Raybar invests in retraining and reskilling their people. Similarly, Flex, you know, Ravothy, who's the CEO of Flex, which is one of the largest contract manufacturing companies, they do a lot of retraining and reskilling about what's going on in factories, which in the last 20 years, you know, factories are not dirty anymore.
17:42They're clean and bright and there's a lot of software. And they spend a lot of time making sure that her labor force knows how to work on the latest technology and then also some of the cultural stuff. How do they make sure their factories in Mexico collaborate well with their factories in Poland? And so what we're finding is that when we come to people, it's that simultaneously that notion of making sure that we hold them accountable, we see their humanity, but also we invest in them for the longer run. There was a great expression, learning is the new pension. And I love that because, you know, even at places like Stanford, we can't keep up with the rate at which technology is moving.
18:21And similarly with K through 12, we cannot keep up with how fast things are going. And so I think that companies that will invest in their people and in this constant retraining and reskilling, things like, you know, AI, obviously right now being the most prevalent example. How do you make sure your people understand AI? They're using it in their everyday workflows and they're thinking about how to serve customers better with it. And by the way, it's really hard, especially for experienced leaders, to want to change because we get rewarded for everything that we did right in our past. We got promotions, we got raises, and now all of a sudden we've got to do something different.
18:56And for humans, that's a very disconcerting thing. And so I think that as leaders, we need to, the great leaders we studied need to be able to hold a high bar, hold a high standard, model that behavior, but also try to work to bring their team along in what are very, very volatile and discombobulating times. Well, what I've noticed, especially with this infusion of AI, is a shift away from output focused to actually the inclusion of the input. So many of the high performers we work with, they're using AI in their work, but they're not sharing it with team members. They're not collaborating around it.
19:35They're using it as a leverage point to get the most out of their time to manage the output that their bosses are looking at. But for us internally, I've asked for the input. I want to know, how are you using it? What are the tools that you're collaborating with to get this output? And the more that we can actually showcase the input, we're all going to grow from that. And I challenge all of our clients that we're working with to really collaborate around the input, to have conversations about these tools and recognize that, hey, everyone is using them. And if you silo yourself from just using them the way you use them, you're actually not gaining all of the input that all the other great high performers and team members have around not just, you know, writing emails for you or coming up with better analysis.
20:20But, you know, these tools are rapidly changing. And I'm really curious to hear more of what's the input behind what was that output that I was so judging you on. It's so funny you say that because I will often tease my students. I'll ask them, tell me how you're using AI, like for your papers or your problem sets. Like I want to know. I don't want to play gotcha with them. You know, like, aha, I caught you cheating and using it. It's more of like, I want to know what they're doing. And then I'll ask them the question of, okay, if you're doing that, how do I test mastery? How do I make sure that you actually have learned the material?
20:51Like, how do I say, okay, we had slide rules. Now we have calculators. Is it that, or are they just cutting corners so they don't have to work and they can go out and party more often but what i find with them is when i ask them how do they use the technology kind of whether they're in their jobs or even with work it's like i learn from them it's like oh this is where they're trying to apply it to actually do tasks that need to it can be automated i'm trying to figure out then how do we take it to the next level it's like i talk about the difference between digitization and digitalization. Digitization is taking an analog process and digitizing it, making it faster and cheaper.
21:28But digitalization is how do you serve customers better? Because now you've got a connection with them that's digital. Similarly with AI, what I want to know is not just how do we do things faster and cut corners, but more importantly, how can we do things differently that can actually create new usage models, new ways of learning, new ways of serving customers. And I think we're just in the early days of these things. And to your point, we won't be able to kind of figure out how to do that unless there's a sharing of knowledge between people of, hey, I'm trying it this way. I'm trying it this way because it's all so new.
21:57It just goes back to what we just discussed earlier as well, which is they're going to use it how they're going to use it, just like they're going to work at the company, just like they're going to work at the company. And of course, they're going to use it to shortcut. That's the first thing that they're going to figure it out. Then how do I get to use this on my side hustle and my side job while I'm sitting in the office? You know, I hear you and probably strangely identify with the attitude that you're saying. I really, you know, three years ago, I was very frustrated with a lot of our students here because I felt like that for them going to class was a tax they had to pay for the stuff that they wanted to do for fun and everything else.
22:43And then I had to realize that Part of that was me and how I looked at them. And if they are who they are, the question is, how can I be an effective teacher and leader within this context of where they're at? And so part of that is doing stuff, holding the line and holding them accountable. But part of it is also understanding this generation is going to do things differently. And I might like the way it was done before, but it's kind of like one of my mentors used to ask us, do you like gravity? And then he would look at us and say, gravity doesn't care. I may not like the fact that they're using AI, but they're going to use it anyways.
23:16And so the question is, how do I kind of say, okay, given that, how do I make it a better experience either in a company serving customers, in the classroom, making it a better experience, and even with the assignments of how I test mastery of do they really understand the material or not? At the end of the day, I just, I don't want them to cheat themselves. You're right, Johnny. Like, by the way, you're 100 % right. And it's also different if we look at kind of somebody who's in their 20-somethings. Let's look at the students and the kids who are 10 to 15. Are they ever learning the fundamentals?
23:47You know, these things, if I look at my 27 to 32-year-old students, they did learn the fundamentals and now are trying to figure out how to be more efficient. What does it mean for our younger children and how will they be? And I think being cognizant of that, I think that's our role as leaders is to make sure that we know how this technology is being used and making sure that we're not creating more problems that benefit. Well, here's where the shortcut falls flat from my perspective, and it's collaboration. We have a human desire to fit in. And if you're only using AI as the shortcut to the email or the shortcut to the task, when you get in a collaborative environment, you are going to be hamstrung and it is going to be obvious to everyone else that you don't know the material, that you don't have mastery, that you haven't actually grappled with these things.
Read the full transcript
24:30So I would challenge you as a professor, how do you invite more collaboration and group projects so that it's not just them on their own in a silo using the AI tools to prove to you that they have mastery, but they're actually engaged in discussion with others. And that's where the learning is really happening. And then for us internally in our team, like that collaboration that I was saying about being more focused on the input than the output is where the greatest ideas have come. And even now in my use of AI, I'm collaborating with the models. I go to ChatGBT and I get what I need. And then I go, hey, Claude, I just got this from ChatGBT.
25:03What are the gaps? And help me find the gaps. And now I'm recognizing that every one of the models has gaps and it's going to give me their tilt, their bent, their perspective. but if I can collaborate with each of the models, I actually get a better end product and I'm learning through the process. When I work with companies around the world, I see a lot of people using it exactly that way. It's a lot of strategy, a lot of high-level stuff, getting kind of the big picture, but they don't count on the AI models for the details, whether it's because of hallucination or other reasons why it might not be a, you don't want to just trust the AI to give you, you know, and all the details and say, yeah, it may not actually be accurate.
25:43And so again, this notion of collaboration, people will be working differently in the future. We're going to continue to be connected. And by the way, this is like, if I think of one of the other cross pressures of geography, global and local, this is exactly the same sort of thing. What's happening in another part of the world? And do I understand that? And how does that impact? It could be suppliers, it could be customers, even in a world where we see like the US and China decoupling potentially and tariffs and trade wars, for the average company, we're already pretty intertwined globally. And yet we've also got to understand when there's a displacement of labor and capital, when jobs move from one part of the world to another, that people who lost their jobs, they're going to act and behave in a certain way.
26:24And I got to argue, and I would argue that leaders really need to be cognizant of that and be aware of it. that if you're in Europe and you're trying to sell cars into the US, the pressures of what's happening inside of the US, they need to be very thoughtful about. And similarly, if you're an American company trying to do business in Saudi, what's happening in Saudi and how is that changing? And we might be, you might be in Southern California and I might be in Northern California, but everything is gonna continue to be connected and understanding the dynamics in each location, I think is incumbent for leaders to be aware of.
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30:04Visit rexmd.com slash charm. That's rexmd.com slash charm. See full details and usage at rexmd.com. Prescription required. Results may vary. This episode is brought to you by Indeed. When your computer breaks, you don't wait for it to magically start working again. You fix the problem. So why wait to hire the people your company desperately needs? Use Indeed's sponsored jobs to hire top talent fast. And even better, you only pay for results. There's no need to wait. Speed up your hiring with a$75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. With that, the cross pressure that I think is even more prevalent right now is this internal versus external influence.
30:55So we sort of touched on the always on and online space of work. And now you have internal pressures from your team, but you have rapid fires happening online externally when people think that you fall out of favor or you choose a political side or you happen to be on a different end of the spectrum. And we've really seen sort of a swing back to, hey, can we kind of go back to what we're here to do with our job and not get so caught up in all of the noise outside? So how are leaders wrestling with that today as we live through the pandemic and it seemed like the external influence started to have a lot more pressure on business?
31:34You see that both in internal, external, as well as local and global. So let me give a couple of examples. on the internal and external. So Charlie Scharf, who's the CEO of Wells Fargo, he was brought in to clean up Wells Fargo after Wells Fargo committed massive fraud. And the regulators who missed it, they were furious because by the way, they didn't commit the fraud. Wells Fargo did. So they were angry at the bank. And the people inside of the bank, a lot of the middle managers and everybody else, they were furious that leaders had done this and had basically destroyed their brand. And as Charlie came in, he's had to spend a lot of time over the last five to six years, both working with regulators, trying to show them that they are worthy of earning back the trust, they as Wells Fargo, and also internally saying, no, we have to respect the regulators.
32:23Remember, they didn't commit the fraud, we did. And so there's that balance back and forth of understanding and in that example between government and an organization. To the specific example you gave, Bill Winters is the CEO of Standard Chartered Bank. And they do a lot of business throughout Asia, throughout Africa, throughout the Middle East. And you've got different cultural norms in each of these locations. And so if Coca-Cola wants to sell Coke in Angola, Standard Chartered can help them do that and be the bank that can help get them introduced to local bottlers, local distributors, etc.
32:57But also they need to be very aware that sometimes the values in one part of the world are different than the values in another part of the world, maybe around some social issues. And so Bill's very thoughtful about when do I stand up and say, no, I need to say something? And when do I work behind the scenes to talk about, do I not do business there at all in this country? Is it so egregious that I need to say, yes, we're going to pull out? Or do I sit back and say, how do I kind of work with somebody else to say, look, we can't turn over data to you? because that's against the laws in this particular part of the world and the values that we adhere to.
33:31And so I think there's that nuance. A lot of these issues are very hard. They're very nuanced, and we're dealing with a world that seems to have very little time for nuance. And it's all coming at us so quickly, and it seems to swing back and forth. And I think that's kind of the whole idea of being a systems leader is trying to understand action and reaction. You know, if your listeners read the book, which I hope they will, I'm not promising them that everything's going to be okay and easy. I'm actually saying like, this is the world that we're in. This is just today's version of crazy. How do we lead our teams in today's version of crazy?
34:05Many of our listeners maybe aren't in the C-suite yet. They are looking to gain leadership roles and move up the corporate ladder and advance their career. and a lot of these conversations right now have been pretty siloed in just the C-suite. These are the bigger issues that they're being wrestled with. But if you want to have that executive presence, if you actually want to stand out from everyone else, you got to start to be aware of these issues and these cross pressures as you're moving up the ladder, not just wait until you get invited into the room, recognizing that leaders are wrestling with these right now in your company.
34:40I think it's a great point because it's not just the C-suite. Imagining you're in finance or you're in marketing and you're managing a team of five people. This is going to be impacting your teams in terms of their everyday lives, their children, what they're reading online when they wake up in the morning. And how you're going to take a team of potentially very diverse opinions and very diverse points of view and how you get them all to work together in a very, very volatile environment, that's incumbent upon any sort of leader, manager, director, vice president, or C-suite. Some of the examples I gave were C-suite.
35:13That's the joy of being at Stanford is that people will take my calls if I call them up. But broadly, when I work with organizations and companies, we find very clearly that it's kind of like the vice presidents and directors who are struggling just as much or more so with all of these challenges. And by the way, they may not have the seniority that the people above them do, and they're trying to figure out how they can be effective in their roles. The last of the cross pressures that I talk about is purpose. And I was very influenced by a gentleman here at Stanford named Bill Damon who defines purpose as an active commitment to accomplish aims that are both meaningful to the self and of consequence to the world beyond the self.
35:54And what I liked about that definition is that people can and should be ambitious for what they do. Hopefully, they'll want to accomplish great things. But you can also be a steward of your organization. and like trying to hold those two truths, you know, at one time, I actually think of something that's very doable. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's doable. And, you know, can I still want to make sure that I'm successful and I have my career goes the way I want it to, but can I also be looking out for the men and women on my team? When we lose sight of that is often when we lose the trust of our team as a leader.
36:25And it's easy to do so from our vantage point at the top to not understand what the lower levels are wrestling with, whether it's challenges now economically because of tariffs and trade wars, whether it's this remote work spreading teams across the world with team members on different continents with different cultural issues and pressures or even bank holidays. A lot of our clients in Europe, I'm laughing, it's tough to even schedule a call, they're off so much. So these are issues that as you move into leadership roles, we're all contending with, but I'd love to hear from you your personal perspective on you know some of these cross pressures and how they've impacted you and how you overcame those challenges or wrestle with them yourself we talked about it a little bit about when I think about people you know I used to my teaching style was tough love you never came to my class late you never came unprepared and the students knew that no one loved them more you know I have you know found doctors for dying parents.
37:28I have officiated weddings. We've had kids in our home for Christmas, but like I expected the students to bring their best selves. And then when I noticed a change in the students in the last few years, I realized I had to adjust my style and move from this notion of being right to getting it right and try to figure out how can I get my lessons across that I'm trying to teach them in a way that can land with them. Because if I kind of keep pushing on it, they'll just, tune me out. And so that's, I think, one that I've had to work on. Maybe that's just the joy of getting older as I've learned what I can control and what I can't control.
38:03I think that's probably at least personally for me in the last few years been kind of the most important. I've also, in the book, we see these leaders today that we read about all the time where we have these unserious behaviors in a serious world, replacing outrageousness with decorum. We see people focusing on trivial goals, even what I would call disdain and self-righteousness. If you look at the leaders that I wrote about in the book, all of them are successful by any figure of merit, like the companies they run, how they're doing. I also write about some of their failures. The thing is these aren't the leaders that we read about.
38:41These aren't the leaders that we see all the time in the mainstream media or on social media. But yet they're out there. These leaders are out there. And one of the things that I've taken away from this is that I'm a big believer in free will. One of my colleagues at Stanford wrote this great book called Determined, A Life Without Free Will. And I think Robert Sapolsky is wrong. Now, Robert's got more intelligence in his pinky than I have in my whole body, but I think he's wrong. I think we can be exactly the leaders that we want to be and choose to be. And so I think for me, what I've tried to do is say, okay, wait a minute.
39:12If I need to adjust how I act and behave and teach or operate as a consultant or whatever it is, I can do that. I can make a choice to change. And I think that that's kind of a very, to me, a very powerful thing. It's also a little frightening because I'd also realize that it's up to me to change. It's like it's up to me to kind of get it done. But I think that's how, when I've been around these leaders, how they've shaped me in the things that I do. Well, I think that's actually a great point for a lot of our audience members around that feedback loop. So obviously listening to the show, you care a lot about self-improvement, you care about leadership development, executive presence, being a more effective communicator.
39:53But oftentimes we're struggling with that feedback in terms of who to listen to. You know, you talk about the people who are the masters of marketing and make the news for all the crazy things they do as leaders, but maybe they're not the best people to follow. You talk about the internal feedback we're getting, and maybe it's not often a great guide. So, you know, you recognizing even recently in teaching students that you had to change some things, what was that feedback process for you? And how did you tell, you know, what was meaningful feedback from, you know, feedback that really wasn't worth your time?
40:23I knew I could tell there was a period about three years ago where like it wasn't working, like what I was doing in the classroom wasn't working. I could tell like the students weren't laughing at my jokes. It's just the vibe was wrong. And I ended up basically taking a break and working with an executive coach. And the executive coach helped me unpack, okay, who am I? What's my personality style? Why would I be upset by certain things that I would see happen in front of me? And then kind of come up with tools to figure out, okay, given that's who I am, recognizing that and then figure out how to be effective.
40:56And then also for me, it was also learning, who I listened to as I was just sort of watching great behavior. Let me give two juxtapositions of what I'll call unserious behavior and great behavior. Do you remember when Zuck and Elon Musk were going to fight a cage match? You remember that 18 months ago, two years ago? And everybody I knew had two reactions. They were going to watch it and they knew it was wrong. It's like, why are two of the richest people in the world talking about beating each other up? And I'll juxtapose that to a guy by the name of Michael Dowling, who runs Northwell Health.
41:28It's New York's largest healthcare system. and in the middle of COVID, he's on Zoom with us, about 150 students. And I'm kind of being my obnoxious, provocative self in the class and on Zoom. And I'm saying, God, this guy's got a horrible business. He's got 3 % margins. He's not getting paid for the risk he takes. He's not getting value for the risk he takes. When he gets it wrong, people die. All the money's going to the pharmaceutical companies, into the device companies. This is a horrible business. and Michael takes over the class and he says to the students as he's telling about his business, he says, I want to go back to something Rob said.
42:03He said, you know, I could make a lot more money if I only treated rich people, but what kind of society would that be? And he said, how do you value a human life? And what's my role in that as the leader of this organization? And it was one of those very powerful moments. It was very heartfelt and very genuine and you could tell that it guided how he ran the business. And to see 150, what can sometimes be very jaded students, just kind of like you could see it stop them in their tracks. It's moments like that that kind of shaped me. It's like, no, no, that's leadership. And we know it when we see it.
42:37And there seems to be such a dearth of it in business and in politics. And so I think for me, it's trying to see it. We know it when we see it, trying to learn from it, and then trying to model it to the best of my ability, knowing that, you know, I'm going to be a work in progress at all times. Tito's Handmade Vodka is America's favorite vodka for a reason. From the first legal distillery in Texas, Tito's is six times distilled till it's just right and naturally gluten-free, making it a high-quality spirit that mixes with just about anything, from the smoothest martinis to the best Bloody Marys.
43:09Tito's is known for giving back, teaming up with nonprofits to serve its communities and do good for dogs. Make your next cocktail with Tito's. Distilled and bottled by Fifth Generation Inc. Austin, Texas. 40 % alcohol by volume. Savor responsibly. Yeah, well, I think, you know, the lens that is most helpful for me and Johnny, at least, in looking at a lot of what you would spoke about there around leadership or being in the news is marketing. And as leaders, you have to understand the role of marketing. And when you look at what Zuck and Elon are doing in the race to AI and even Sam Altman, And, you know, that is where all of the cash dollars are pouring in.
43:46And that is where all the attention is going. So how do you outdo the other? And how do you stay in the news cycle now with the president who owns the news cycle? Well, you have to be injecting yourself and doing crazier and crazier things. That's marketing. That's not leadership. And I wouldn't compare the two. I think for many of us, we need to pay attention to, hey, when is this getting eyeballs and attention on the things that they care about? and what's actually going on internally in the companies that we want to be a part of and the purpose that we're finding in our work and how are those leaders driving that forward?
44:18I hear you, AJ, but the pushback I would give on that is we can do things that generate clicks and we can do things that generate attention, but just because we can do something doesn't mean that we should do something. And the question I would be is like, do we want to be Sam Altman? Is that the archetype of here's the leader that we want to put up there that we all want to be, that we want our children to be? Is that it just because he makes money? And by the way, he's been hugely successful, but is that the person we want people to be? And the point of writing about in the book is I highlight 15 to 20 leaders who are hugely successful.
44:52There's no argument about whether or not these people have been successful or not in their careers. And they're not like those people at all. And they have found a way to lead their organizations and to kind of model the behavior themselves. And that's kind of the point that like, when I talk to people, when I work with companies around the world and I talk about this, like everyone's feeling this tension. Like, like they feel like, well, is that, am I supposed to be like Trump? Am I supposed to be like AOC? Am I supposed to be like Musk? It's like, am I supposed to be like all of these kind of almost caricatures of craziness or how do I kind of lead the people that's also authentic to who I am and do so in a way that, you know, helps me kind of be aware of what's going on, but also, you know, internalize this and kind of be true to myself.
45:35And that's what I saw in a lot of these leaders. I think all of those examples of leaders are choosing to market themselves in ways that might not be appealing to you and might not be a good fit for the company that you're leading. But that's a marketing lens that they're putting on controlling earned media, which right now the cost of clicks are higher than ever. And being in the news cycle as much as possible gets you the earned media that wins you the presidency, that gets people talking about your AI over someone else's AI. And we're seeing them jockey it out in real time online and in the news.
46:12But the quiet leaders behind also have a lot of great lessons that you've unpacked in the book that I want our audience to recognize that there are pressures that they might not realize leaders are facing internally. And as they move into those leadership roles, not only recognizing those pressures, but understanding how to wrestle with them, There might not be a clear right or wrong under which influence is more important in that moment, but understand that that pressure is there and it's rising in today's climate of this always on constantly connected world. It's not going to slow down. You know, Alvin Toffler wrote Future Shock 55 years ago where he predicted fast fashion experiences, the home computer, the personal computer, and he coined the phrase information overload.
46:57and the idea of information overload is that technology was evolving so fast and we as humans don't evolve that quickly and we can't deal with this and that was 55 years ago look at the speed of it now I don't think that's going to change I think it's only going to accelerate my takeaway from the the men and women that I had the good fortune of learning from and studying is that they can figure out how to like operate at these intersections is what I like to call run towards the disruption, how they can manage context for their employees and try to help people make sense of things, and then also model the right behaviors and manage these cross pressures that we see that society is putting on all of us.
47:36And I think there's a path for people. For me, I hope the book is a message of hope, right? It's like, this can be done. I'm not asking readers to bend light in a way that light's never been bent before. That would be hard. This is just kind of being aware and thoughtful about what's going on around us, and then making sure that we understand where things are going. And by the way, not denying the marketing that you talked about, not denying the earned media. That's somebody else's choice. That doesn't mean it has to be yours. Absolutely. And every leader of their company is going to have to make decisions around how they market their services.
48:10And for some, it might sell cars. It might get more people using your AI. For some, it's probably not going to get people choosing your healthcare if you're ranting and raving on media every single night, right? The other aspect of it too is just fatigue. I can look at social media and see people who two years ago thought Musk was the king of the world, who now have a completely different picture. And because, number one, it's exposure, right? We're seeing all of these different moves that we're able to see now due to being under the spotlight 24-7. We are now able to pick up on narratives that paid players are using that contradict other narratives.
49:03So we can compare and contrast those now and get a better picture, a better perspective of what's going on. And for a lot of people, it's just getting to be distasteful. And I think for those are people who are able to put a few pieces together rather quickly, right, who understand marketing and understand narrative buildings and things like that. I mean, it's work that I have to do. So I'm in that world. but certainly we're seeing Tesla dealerships getting torched so how's that for publicity well you know it's it's funny because you know I like to joke that you don't write a book you write you sell a book and all the stuff that I have to do is in promoting the book and going on podcasts and LinkedIn and all the videos I have to make it's a very unnatural act for me it's like it's not who it's not who I am it's not how I was raised I was raised to ask for things for other people, not for myself.
50:02But I also understand that there's a job to be done. And so it's like, you do what you got to do. But it's interesting, Johnny, you use the word distasteful. And there's an essence of that. And I don't want to be like hectoring and condescension, but I want to capture the vibe that a lot of people look at this and kind of give that ick. Like, I don't want to be that. I don't want to do that. And I know that it's wrong. and we still see it happening anyways. And I think that's kind of the point that I want to give to the readers is this notion of, no, no, you actually can choose not to do that and still have a successful life.
50:40Just because these are the three or four names that the media and social media is constantly putting out there, there's 8 billion people on the planet. There are a lot of successful people who do things a lot of different ways. If you look at the choices that they're making, they're constantly under the gun to have to reinvent themselves because they lose audience. They have to capture new audience. And now they have to swing to another issue. They have to speak out on something else that many of us as leaders have no interest in going that route to market and promote ourselves or the business.
51:11I think Zuckerberg is the latest victim to that. We all get to have a laugh as he tries to figure himself out because he never came into this having an understanding of who he was or even what he put together or stole, however you want to look at it. Well, and he's also a very young man when he started the company. I'd like to think that we hopefully get wiser as we get older and we learn more. Both we change and we become more aware of who we are. I guess when you're that high of a profile person, everything you do is going to be magnified and talked about to your point, Johnny, and we're all going to get to watch it.
51:47Part of me is like kind of very grateful that I'm not that because like, you We all have strengths and development needs, and I would need all of my development needs to be watched by billions of people because that would kind of be a rough go. Well, where do you go for growth when your customer base is in the billions, right? You have to move in a direction that captures more attention in order to actually get more customers. Now, many leaders that you talk to in the book are in a position of billions of customers or will never be in a position of chasing billions of customers. So some of those antics and reinvention and controlling the media and who they're seeing next to and what they're talking about to get people wearing their AI glasses isn't really relevant to us in the seats that we're in as leaders.
52:32But what is important is recognizing that in this changing world, you're going to be faced with pressures where there's not black and white answers. There's not a clear path forward. And those cross pressures are multiplying, even since you wrote the book, as we've seen with 23andMe going under. Well, Harley Davidson, right? I did a whole piece on Johan Zeitz, who's a really interesting and compelling leader. He just announced his retirement and some of the challenges. And I think that's kind of also the point of the book. I write about people who have struggled. I wrote about my co-teacher, Jeff Immelt, who was running the greatest American company.
53:05And he went from being the greatest CEO in the world to the dumbest person ever who destroyed one of the great American companies. And the Financial Times wrote last week, wait a minute, since GE's broken apart, the market cap of these companies has doubled and it's all based on technology and products and deals that Jeff did eight years ago, nine years ago. And so there's an ebb and a flow to things. And so that's one of the benefits of time is we can see that context. I wrote about John Donahoe when he was the CEO of Nike and he basically resigned and retired because he made one big mistake during COVID where he tried to sell direct.
53:45And so is the fact that John wasn't successful at Nike, is that make him less of a leader even though he ran Bain & Company, ran eBay and ran ServiceNow successfully? Like none of us are perfect. I don't know about you guys, but I get stuff wrong all the time. More than we get right. Well, thank you so much for joining us. Where can we find out more about the book and your class? You can go to roberteseigel.com is my personal website. You can find the book, The Systems Leader. It's on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your favorite bookstore. And I hope that the readers find it helpful. And there's a lot of questions in the book where at the end of each chapter, the readers can actually apply it to their own challenges and situation.
54:32And that's probably the best place to go. So robertesiegel.com and the Systems Leader at your favorite online or physical bookstore. Thank you for joining us, Robert. Thank you so much, AJ. Thanks, John.
54:50Thank you for listening. And now is the part of the show where we showcase one of our X Factor Accelerator members Take it away, Ron. Hi, this is Ron Palermo, and I'm a corporate lawyer. Taking the X Factor Accelerator is one of the best decisions I have ever made. If you want to consistently show up as a high-value person, someone who makes a great first impression, effortlessly makes new friends and connections, and enjoys deep and authentic relationships, X Factor Accelerator will get you there. The AOC team is passionate about what they do and are totally committed to your success, and most importantly, they know how to get the results you want.
55:29My only regret is not taking the program sooner. If you are serious about showing up as the best version of yourself, I urge you to sign up for the X-Factor Accelerator. You will be so glad you did. And thank you, Ron. It was a pleasure working with you and good luck to all your future endeavors. If you've gotten value out of this or any of our podcasts, head on over to your favorite podcast player and rate and review the show. It means the world to us and helps others find the show. Before we head out, a huge thank you to our producers, Michael Harold and Eric Montgomery. Until next week, go out there and be charming.
56:25Cause you had your taste of black on me today Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you
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From the publisher
Why do some leaders command respect while others get ignored? In this episode of Social Intelligence, Stanford professor and venture capitalist Robert Siegel breaks down the overlooked behaviors that separate average performers from high-impact leaders.
Drawing on decades of research and real-world business experience, Robert shares how humility, listening, and honest self-reflection are the key ingredients to long-term success. You’ll learn how to thrive in chaotic environments, shift from control to trust, and build loyalty in the people you lead — whether you’re running a startup, a classroom, or a family.
What to Listen For
[00:00:00] Why Robert’s background in tech and venture capital revealed a pattern in great leaders[00:03:11] What leaders miss when they mistake charisma for competence[00:07:19] The value of slowing down and listening — even when you’re under pressure[00:10:32] Why being the smartest person in the room can make you ineffective[00:14:09] Lessons from Motorola: how “hero culture” undermined the team[00:18:23] The danger of over-optimizing for control instead of building trust[00:25:00] The “credibility bank account” and how it affects influence and decision-making[00:31:11] What CEOs often miss about emotional intelligence[00:38:30] The role of humility in hiring, managing, and growing a company[00:44:15] Why balancing empathy and execution is the mark of a real leader[00:51:20] The underrated superpower of asking good questions instead of giving answers[00:56:42] What Robert teaches his Stanford students about legacy and influence
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Resources from this Episode
Dr. Abbie Marono's website
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