Give to Grow (Invest In Relationships) | Mo Bunnell

25:14Make the 30 second ask. If you wait three months, you're probably going to hear all five lies at once, you know, because, well, I don't know what they want. I'm too busy. I'm working on this other thing. I'm not sure I can do this. What should I say? I fear I'm going to look bad. I shouldn't. I meant to do this last week. But so like the longer you wait, the more lies you hear. So momentum is our friend. We want to keep this going. Did you just bring up a good point? I mean, certainly for our listeners of the show and we see it in our clients, they're highly analytical. So they can create this elaborate excuse web so they don't have to face the thing that they're scared of.

25:55And this elaborate excuse web, usually they stick it on everything that they don't like. And because it is so comfortable and familiar to them, they're not going to poke at it. So it is our job then to start asking questions about the excuse. And not directing that it's an excuse, but just asking questions about it until the whole thing just completely falls apart. And then they're just sitting there looking at me like, oh, I guess that was all in my head, wasn't it? I'm like, well, I guess so, huh? right but we're but we're able to see those blind spots and point them out and nudge them in the right direction when that's the value of having an external coach like the two of you i i can remember talking with a friend one time and he you know it was a really close friend so he could really slap me in the face with something but i was saying why i couldn't do one thing or another i don't even remember what it was i just remember his line he's like that's quite a story you're telling yourself, isn't it?

26:54I just started laughing. He really lathered it on thick when he said it. And we just both started laughing. And I just, it all, to your point, the web of lies, Johnny, it just all crumbled away and I just moved to action. Yeah. And the funny thing is, Johnny and I do that for each other, recognizing that you need that person in your life to call you out. Maybe you're fortunate to have a friend who can do that. Maybe you need to get a coach that can do that. But it's so important to break through because, again, as I said earlier, all top performers face these same lies. These are universal. So they don't have some superhuman power that they don't have to deal with these at all.

27:31They recognize that they're going to face them. They have strategies to overcome them. And if they've recognized a pattern that this one lie or two lies really holds them back, then they get a coach to guide them through that lie, to make sure that that lie isn't keeping them from the 10 ,000 plus attempts they need to be making to be in that top 0.1%. And part of our curriculum, there is a critical problem solving part to that so that our mind doesn't run away with our lives and we're controlling our mind. And through that, you learn the right questions to ask yourself. And for a lot of people, for myself, I know what I need to do when I'm stuck and I start going through all of those questions.

28:11And if I get to the bottom of it and I still haven't answered it correctly or I've found the clasp that is holding the problem thought together, then I'll ask AJ, am I seeing this correctly? This is what I have, which is great because it says, hey, I've done this work. I went through these questions. I've looked at this every direction and I've gotten to a point where I'm completely stuck and I went through everything. So I can feel good knowing if AJ spots this, it's a blind spot that I'm just not being able to pick up. And the other great thing is if he does see it and I don't, that's the first place I'm going next time.

28:54First, because once we recognize where these flawed thought patterns happen, we begin to see that we use them everywhere. They become the one that suits us the best because analytical people will continually craft the excuse until it works. And this is why they need to coach because this is where the blind spots happen. And once you begin to recognize how your brain works, the excuses it has, the cognitive distortions that it favors, then you will be able to see them everywhere. And once you see them everywhere, once you recognize that's the one I use, that's the first place you go and it usually will knock it right out.

29:41What's up analytical thinker? Ready to dial up your charm and master persuasion? Then listen up. Welcome to the Art of Charms X Factor Accelerator. We've been at it for 17 years, helping over 10 ,000 listeners just like you grow their social capital and improve their dating life. Whether you prefer learning at your own pace or thrive in group coaching settings, we've got your back. Our comprehensive program packed with secrets on swaying others, nailing chats, the secrets of influence, and the nuances of effective communication and rapid rapport building. Picture this, reading rooms like a pro, nailing every social situation, and a network that flings doors wide open.

30:22That could be you with our X-Factor Accelerator. Live implementation sessions, daily accountability, and weekly missions and exercises to hone in to your new skills. Don't just take our word for it, ask the execs, engineers, and military badasses who've stepped up their game with us. Head over to unlockyourxfactor.com to jump in. Your mastery of influence starts now. Let's unlock your limitless potential at unlockyourxfactor.com. One of the things, AJ, I realized as you were talking, and then it ties to what Johnny just said, that I'd never thought of before, but this is the value of having a great interviewer, is when we were figuring out what these lies were, how we did it was we went into hundreds, I guess, of workshops.

31:10We've got a team of 20 facilitators. So they're all doing workshops all the time. And for months, what we did is just, we said at the beginning of each workshop, hey, we're conducting a little research here. Bear with me, this is going to be valuable. But so we bolted it onto what we already done. And we would just simply tell people, hey, think of a time when you meant to reach out to somebody in a deep inner relationship in one way or another, but you hesitated. Okay, everybody's got it. And then we just said, tell me exactly what you were thinking in your head. And if it was on Zoom call, we collected them in chat.

31:41If it was in person, we'd flip chart it. And everybody started to see patterns. So even though we were like conducting research, there was value to it. So one of the things people have loved about Give to Grow is like what you saw, we put the exact verbatims in the book. So under the I'm going to look bad, the top exact verbatims, I think this is interesting that everybody said, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Here's the top 11 that we ever heard globally, regardless of whether somebody is just starting out or they're an elite top performer that's 10x everybody else. I don't want to be a pest. I don't want to come across as salesy.

32:17I can't ask my friends for business. I'm worried they might not even remember me. I'm not even sure they need me or us. I'm intimidated by them. What help would talking to me be? They already use somebody else. Someone there doesn't like me or us. The person recently canceled on me. They're already spending a lot with us. So it's in the exact verbatims, Johnny, to your point, that somebody will find the one that, like you said, works, which really doesn't work for them. And then they'll just use it over and over again. So I think it's super cool to have an external coach like y 'all or to know what these are to grab it from the book and go, use a little mark and go, yep, these three are the ones I need to be worried about.

32:57But then when you hear it, it's a little louder than normal and you can overcome it. Absolutely. And I think one of the key areas that I want to highlight and push you a bit on, because we hear this too from our clients who are early in their career, or maybe they're feeling a bit of imposter syndrome or a lack of confidence is AJ, Johnny, Mo, this is great. I totally understand the concept of give to grow. What the heck do I give? You guys have endless resources. You have a great podcast and network. all these top performers in your network that you've worked with and all these great companies and executives in front of you, Mo, what do I have to give?

33:32And how can I give to grow if I feel that I don't even have anything to give? One of the chapters in the book is called, and this is under a section that says the four gifts. It's gifts we can give people that deepen relationships and grow a book of business. One of those four is called, give them the experience of working with you? And I'll tell a story and then I'll answer the question directly. Right after Becky and I got married 30 some years ago, maybe it was like two years later, still had lots of college debt trying to, you know, money was tight. We went to a really nice restaurant to celebrate something with a friend.

34:08I can't remember like our anniversary or something. So another couple was there and we picked a restaurant that was like, we probably shouldn't have picked. Like we shouldn't have been there. Like we couldn't afford it. Well, sommelier comes up. I'm not even sure I knew what a sommelier was at the time, but they've got this big, beautiful bottle of wine and they're telling us all about it. And it came from this vineyard. It's this vintage and all this other stuff. And the sommelier leaves and we all look at each other like, there's no way we're buying that bottle of wine. Right. And we can't even afford the food.

34:38We're like trying to like, should we split salad? Like, how can we, how can we get out of here with the lowest amount of cost? Well, he comes back maybe five minutes later and he's got a taste of that bottle for each of us. Just a small little pour, just a taste. We all taste the glass of wine and we ordered the bottle. We even ordered a second bottle afterwards. It was so good. My point with that is it's totally different thinking about, hearing about how great somebody is and that you should hire them versus getting an experience of how great they are. So back to your question, AJ, like what should we give away?

35:17Everybody has something to give away. Younger people have the perspective of younger people that can share, here's what my friends are doing. Hey, here's what I know about social media. Here's what I know about TikTok. You know, whatever they know, there's something that older or more experienced or higher decision makers need. There's always something they need. So what we want to do is we want to pick something we know about that aligns with something that's important to them, roll up our sleeves, and just maybe something simple is, hey, would it be helpful if, that's a great way to offer one of these things, hey, would it be helpful if I just spent 30 minutes with you and shared with you what younger people are thinking about this?

35:57Or would it be helpful if I took 30 minutes for you and I did a mock-up of what the Tableau dashboard would look like if we could integrate those systems? I just got an analytics certification from Duke and I could just mock it up for you. How about that? It could show you how you could look at these two databases in one view instead of seven. So whatever the gift is, we want to A, give them the experience of working with us because it's more likely we're going to get hired or get the project or get the raise or the promotion or whatever we want. And B, they'll say yes to it more often because it just feels so great to be helped.

36:30Yeah. And I think for many of us, we overcomplicate the gifts because we look at the most successful people. We revere them. We put them on a pedestal and we think that they have vast amounts of resources and that's why they can give or they have vast amounts of experience and that's why you can give or their network or whatever the excuse may be. And that's why I love this section on gifts because it dovetails so nicely with what we define as social capital at the Art of Charm, which is your knowledge. So as you pointed out, maybe you're good at TikTok. Maybe you're incredible at setting up analytics dashboards.

37:00Maybe what your knowledge is is really an AI and you've been playing around with the latest language models and some of these executives haven't touched them because they've been so busy. The second one is the people. your relationships. Maybe you know someone who can do that. You know, maybe your friend builds great websites and making that introduction would be a give that you could make. And the third we all have is emotional support. And I know like Johnny and I are creators. We talked about this, putting this out into the world. There's nothing that feels better for us than to know that we had an impact, that someone listened to the podcast, put action behind it, and then it changed their life.

37:35It improved something. There's nothing more gratifying for us to hear that. Well, that's emotional support. You reaching out to Mo on LinkedIn and saying, hey, I got the book and actually this third section was so mind-blowing for me in my career. That's giving. That's giving emotional support to those of us who are creating and putting our work out there, hoping that it'll have an impact, looking to have an impact. And when you recognize that giving is not necessarily what you see others doing, but you get creative about it and you look for those ways that you can give and you 10X it, oh man, you're really cooking with gas.

38:09AJ mentioned how wonderful we feel when our work affects somebody's lives. It's the best for any content creator to know that whatever you made or book, it has inspired somebody, motivated somebody, gave them something to aspire to. All of those things are great. But what we don't get in this digital age is a direct link to that. Unless somebody goes out of their way to write us an email, to send us a message on Instagram, we don't hear about those things. One of the reasons that I love being on sales is I get to talk to people that listen to the show. Without hearing about that, all they are to me is download numbers.

38:57And that is no fun. Where is the human experience? But then they get on the phone and go, this episode did this for me. This episode did this for me. When you said that, this changed my life. And those are the moments that we do all this for. And so I just want to say to those who are looking for a way to give value, know that the smaller creators, their mailbox isn't full. They're not getting 50, 100 messages a day. They might get one. And if they do get one and it's from you, you've made their day. Cold mornings, holiday plans on the calendar. This is when I want my wardrobe to be simple. Stuff that looks sharp, feels good.

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42:16It was just the five of us. So this was all planned. What are you going to do? I will do whatever it takes to get my son back. I honestly didn't see this coming. These nice people killing each other. All Her Fault, a new series streaming now, only on Peacock. I love all the examples we came up with. If somebody still can't think of something, let's say that there's somebody two levels above them in another part of the organization that they would like them to be their mentor. Well, if they go ahead and said, will you be my mentor? Right away, the person's like, God, I would love to, but I'm super slammed, you know, it's not much time.

42:50But if nothing else, the give you can give somebody else is to take something off their plate. So if that person approaches the more senior person, maybe it's they just got out of college, you're super junior and you're going to some 50-year-old you really look up to, you could go to them and say, would love to be your mentor. I'd like to take more things off your plate than the time it takes to mentor me. So if you could share some of your priorities and some of the things you're just not getting to, I can literally, nights and weekends work, I will sit with you. I will take things off your plate, follow-up items, project planning, whatever you want.

43:25I will do it. And you're going to be net ahead. And I'm just hoping we can strike up a relationship. So, I mean, if nothing else, you could go to somebody and say, what can I take off your plate? I'm going to do it and get A-plus grades and I'm going to free up time for you. You're building the relationship right there. I mean, everyone wants to be helpful. When we ask something as broad as, will you mentor me? it's very hard for me to quickly understand how much time commitment and how I can actually be helpful. But if you come with a very specific request and how you thought through it and what you've worked through and what you've tried and haven't tried and why you think I would be a helpful mentor for you I'm much more likely to say yes and be enthusiastic and excited to help you because I know that any effort that I put in will actually be helpful based on you doing the legwork and thinking through the problem.

44:17But I think a lot of people get excited about this idea of finding a mentor. And then when they say, can you mentor me? They get frustrated when they don't get the reaction of the response that they're looking for, which is yes. But when we ask those things that are so broad and you talk about this in the book, asking for help is actually a great way to give because people love to share advice and love to help you. You have to be specific. You have to show them that you've put in the thought and you know exactly what the problem is, or maybe you don't quite know, but here's all the ways you've tried to solve it yourself first.

44:49And they will be so enthusiastic to share their expertise, their experience, their knowledge on that exact problem. And I've helped our clients just rethink some of these asks when it's reaching out on LinkedIn or exactly as you said, going to that executive that you really would love to get more face time with to recognize that if we're specific and we're clear with what the ask is and how much effort it's going to take the other person to say yes or to help us, we're far more likely to get exactly what we're asking for. Think of the difference if somebody says, can you be my mentor versus the difference if they came up and said, hey, I've got a one page document that's mapped out the next 10 years of my career here.

45:29I love working with you in the organization. I really appreciate what you've done with your career. If I sent that over ahead of time, could I get 15 minutes with you for you to react and tweak it for me? Like that specificity would get a yes almost every time. Whereas will you be my mentor to your point is a bit, it's just too vague. It also shows you did your homework. So I've built out my next 10 years in this one page plan. That alone, the more senior person's like, whoa, I wish my whole division is doing that. Like already you've established credibility. Then you ask for, I already did the work.

46:03Can I get your feedback on it is our advice is a totally different thing. Okay, back to you. Well, that's exactly what I was going to share. You know, before we started the interview, we were asking you to help mentor us. And I was excited to show you the work that we've done first, not saying, hey, can you give us the playbook? And can you tell us exactly what we need to do with no context, no understanding of what we have done or haven't done or what the problems are. So when you recognize adding that context, asking for help actually is a way to give and can accelerate building these relationships with the people you revere, you look up to, and you would love to have them supporting you on your career.

46:40Yeah, you had mentioned the mutual love of Adam Grant before. Like his research is just the best. And in one of his studies, he found that mutually beneficial relationships were the strongest. So a lot of times people think I can only help, but we need to realize to your point that asking for help, a lighter version of that that's sometimes easier to do is ask for advice. So asking for help or asking for advice is sometimes the best opening move to deepen a relationship. When it comes to asking for something and that specificity is important, just think about just the word mentor, right? I bet each one of us, if somebody said to define mentor or what do you think of you being a mentor, what does that role look like?

47:25I'm sure we would all have different roles because we have, or definitions of it, because we've all thought about it in different ways and also have an experience with that in three different ways. When you say mentor, it sounds like a very heavy lift. It sounds like a commitment for both sides versus asking for advice and a bit of help, or can I get your perspective on this? I've already done some work. You know, that opens the door. It's not to say that they won't ultimately become your mentor, but that's the easier foot in the door ask in a lot of these situations. Yeah. So I want to ask you, because we get asked this all the time as fans of Adam Grant, how do you look at strategic giving and what are the boundaries that you've put in place to be on the end of the giving bell curve that is successful?

48:10Because we know from Adam Grant's research that givers end up super successful, but also taken advantage of. And for a lot of our clients and listeners, they've been in that latter category where they've given and felt taken advantage of their time, their gas, their moving couches, their making introductions to people, and that person gets their career uplifted and they feel like they're still struggling. So how do you view giving help strategically? And are there any boundaries that you personally use to make sure that you continue to give to grow? I think what we can do here is we can blend Grant's research with Cialdini's influence research, which a lot of people know about both.

48:49And just to put a bow on what you mentioned about Grant's research is when he found that givers were the most successful, the big chunk of them were, but they were also the least successful, which he implied. But I just want to make that really clear to the audience that they're sort of matchers and takers in the middle, but the givers were split. They were the only group that was split. They were by far the most successful across many domains and the least successful. So the difference is how they give. And if we blend now Cialdini's research with Grant's is we want to give away just enough to create momentum.

49:26So what Grant talked about is boxing in your give. So if your boss's boss asks for a little bit of help on something, well, you might want to scale that up to a 10-hour investment. If somebody cold emails from your university and says, gosh, I really love what you do career. Could I take you golfing? I'd love to hear more. Pick your brain kind of stuff. you're like, man, that's a five-hour commitment. I need to still help the person I want to, but I'm going to make that a 10-minute commitment. Hey, can we have a quick call on the phone and let's see where it goes. So the successful business or givers are people who are sizing the give to the expected payoff, 10 hours to my boss, 10 minutes to this random person from college.

50:07They're still going to try to give as much as possible, but they're not just going to accept the request that landed in their lap. They're going to filter that by the expected payoff. The last thing I'll say, and I think this is so darn important about grants research is givers, either camp you're in, whether you're successful, unsuccessful, your strategic, whatever, you're never expecting any direct thing in return. It is truly a gift. And I think we need to land that one really hard because the point of giving isn't tit for tat. It's not, I'll do this for you if you did that for me. There's really no strings attached.

50:40We're just going to size up the amount of the give compared to what we think the payoff might be. Yeah, it's beautifully said. And I think so many times we find ourselves on the short end of the stick when we haven't really contemplated that part. And we just give until we're burned out, our car's out of gas, our back is breaking from moving that couch up three floors. We've all been there in that moment and And holding that as a reason then to become a matcher or a taker puts you squarely in the middle of that bell curve. When I used to get that question, I used to view it in a much different way.

51:14But because we've gotten that question so much and now I'm getting an understanding of the person who asked that question, I don't say anything to that person. But what that question tells me is they're not ready. They're either not ready because a past experience or they're just not comfortable or have an understanding of why that idea is so powerful. So for me at that point is to begin to ask them questions to find out what that is. And hopefully that question will lead them to understanding that they have some probably relationship trauma that they need to fix in themselves or to get an understanding of just how powerful that concept is so they can commit to it.

52:01Because if you're not going to commit to that, if you always have one foot in and one foot out with give to grow, it's not going to work. Because you're always sitting there weighing. You're always trying to guess the agenda of the other person. And if you're guessing the agenda of the other person, why are you working with them anyway? So that question to me opens up a larger can of worms that we have to get to the point of why you're asking that. So for the audience, like we talked about the Grant stuff, the pairing with the Cialdini stuff is that there's six major levers of influence. And giving first is the only thing I've ever seen that can hit all six.

52:44So one of them is reciprocity. We tend to want to repay those that give to us. So simply by giving first, we're going to get attention and build reciprocity. The second one of the six is likability. Well, through more interactions, we can find commonality. We can build a bond. We can find out what people's passions are. So we're going to get more time with them, which if we orchestrate well, we're going to become more likable to them. The third one is authority. by us mocking up the Tableau dashboard or helping them with the follow-up or showing them our career plan. We're building some authority that we've actually got some expert chops to share.

53:19The fourth one I think is really interesting is scarcity. People want more of what there is less of. So if there's a way to say, and we have to do it authentically, but if there was a way to say, I'm really busy, I'm really slammed in my job, and I still want to help you nights and weekends so that I can earn this right for me to learn from you. The scarcity of our time is important to emphasize if it's true. The last two I think are really important. The fifth element is social proof. People tend to feel comfortable doing what others do. So as we're giving to the person, external or internally, if we can mention that we do this kind of things with many people, it builds social proof.

54:04And then the last one, commitment. Johnny, this gets to your point. At the end of a gift, however we size it, it's really important to make a recommendation. What's the next step that's going to escalate both of our commitment? And to your point, Johnny, around we can't guess at what their agenda is, it's when we make a recommendation, if we can ask for a little escalating commitment on their side as we escalate our commitment, that's where we're really going to find if they want to keep going. That's when we're going to hear what their agenda is. We can give tons of examples of that. But I think what's really important is we don't want to get in the give-to-give loop where we're just giving more and all they have to do is show up and get stuff.

54:46We've got to ask them to do a little bit too. Yeah. So that's how we're going to suss out who's a taker and who's a giver. Yeah. We have to understand that our actions train people in how to interact with us. Everything, the way we talk, the way we behave, our body language. So all of those things take into account. And so if you're training somebody to show up and get a free education, free knowledge, free effort on your part, they're going to keep doing it. Exactly. And on the other side, if we can ask them to review something before we get there or to bring somebody else to the meeting, there's a million ways to ask for a little escalating commitment.

55:22But if they just have to do a little bit more, that's where we're going to find out if this is worth pursuing. Yeah. And I think that ask is a great way for you to start to recognize what's actually going on behind the scenes here and why is this person coming to ask this for me? Like, are they looking to match? Are they looking to take? Oh, OK, they're actually really committed to this. So it is a good use of my time versus our boss asking us to do that. Well, we know the repercussions of what goes on there. So asking for that extra commitment from our boss is not nearly as important. Yeah, exactly.

55:55Exactly. Yeah, this is everything we're talking about is creating demand for something that's not there, creating momentum for something where there's no momentum. That's when we would do all these moves. Now, as we wrap this up, I know that we're both fans of James Clear, Atomic Habits, and really recognizing that the way that we start to shift to do from doing the work to winning the work is to start creating rituals, habits and routines that make winning the work just happen naturally for us. Nothing that we have to think about that we have to take hours out of our busy day every single day to do.

56:29So what are some ways that our audience can start to move these things to routines and habits that will allow them over time to see that compounding interest, their social capital just keep growing. The whole last part of the book we titled, it's a section we titled The Impact. And the impact subdivided into how do you succeed in the moment? How do you succeed in the short term? And how do you succeed in the long term as you look at your career, your whole life, really? The succeed in the short term is what I dig into here. And so I'll give you the fast version of that whole chapter. Because we're talking about things that don't yet exist.

57:06We're talking about creating some type of proactive change that's positive for everybody in the future. We've got to have almost like project management around that. And the reason is it's so easy to just keep reacting to the email ding and the Slack channel question and all this stuff. You can spend your whole life being busy but not really making an impact. So what we want to do is three things. One, we want to make a list of our opportunities. We define opportunities as really broad. It's anything other human beings need to say yes to. It's the business you want to win at client XYZ. It's the promotion.

57:45It's the fact you want to do that next particular project so you can extend your career. Speak at a conference, whatever. It's just you want to keep a list of those because by definition, there are things that don't yet exist yet and you're trying to create them. So real simple, two columns. What are the opportunities? And this is really powerful. What's my next action I can control? So that's list one. List two, this is so interesting, and it helps literally tens of thousands of people that have gone through our workshops. Write down a list of your most important relationships. We call that a protomoy list.

58:21Protomoy is a Greek word. It means first among equals. All your relationships are important, but there's probably 10 or 15 that are really important. So you write those down. And then the second column, what's my next action to deepen that relationship and always be helpful to that person? That's our second thing. The third thing we advise, and this is where it really comes to life, is you pick one time a week, 15 minutes, same time every week. I'm a Friday at three o 'clock person. And all I'm going to do is take 15 minutes. I'm going to take a scan of my opportunities and my next actions, a scan of my relationships and my next actions.

58:57And I'm just going to pick three. What are the top three things I'm going to be on the hook for? I'm going to hold myself to account for next week to do that are either moving an opportunity or relationship forward. And we call those MITs or most important things. And man, if you're doing three things a week, it doesn't sound like much, but three things a week to proactively move an important opportunity for you forward or proactively move an important relationship forward, that's 150 a year, 1 ,500 over a decade. Like it just starts to create unstoppable momentum because you're grabbing control of your future.

59:33And it's reciprocal. So as you talked about earlier, by you taking those 150 actions a year, you're incentivizing your network to take actions back with you. And this is one of my favorite aspects of all of this. And we push all of our clients to just start inviting people more into their life. And the first reaction is, well, they're going to say no. They're busy. They're going to respond. OK, they're going to give me an excuse. Great. Do it 150 times over a year. And you're going to find out about two, three months into trying this that you have to start being the one to say no to things because you're getting invited to so many things.

1:00:09Because even when people don't take action on your most important thing in the moment, you just registered on their radar and they're going to connect and think of you when they have something else going on that would be important for you to join in on. So by doing these intentional 150 or so actions a year, it compounds. It's incentivizing your network and your relationships to bring opportunities to you, to bring invitations to you. And you're going to find that over the course of your career, everything gets a lot easier. AJ, did we secretly write this book together and I didn't notice it? Like, even when you're talking, it sounds like the words I use and we use in our workshops.

1:00:48Like, it's so good. Yes, no ad. Like, stop. It's great. It was funny. My wife was watching me prep for this interview, and she was like, man, you're really enjoying this book. And Johnny and I always laugh because, you know, some of the books are a little tougher to get through, and we always try to glean the nuggets for our audience as much as possible. But this was one where I was nodding and smiling, and I was like, I can't wait to talk about this, and so jazzed up to have you on the show. So great to have you here. We love the book. Where can our audience find out more about all the great work you do?

1:01:17Well, thanks, AJ and Johnny. I've loved meeting you two. I think, well, two things. One is when you write a book called Give to Grow, you have to really lean into the giving. So we created this whole huge course with like 50 downloads, videos from me that I wrote. We probably put a hundred hours into this course and there's no charge for it. It's at givetogrow.info. So I-N-F-O on the end, givetogrow.info. And you don't even have to buy the book to get all the value out of it. So we designed it so that you could just do that. So if somebody is a poor college student, they don't have 20 bucks to buy the book Give to Grow, you can just go to givetogrow.info and get the whole course, all these downloads.

1:02:01Like it's more than I've ever seen a book giveaway. So that's at givetogrow.info. That's thing one. Thing two, go buy the book. So it's everywhere books are sold. It comes out August 27, 2024. So if this is after that, it's out. it somewhere. We just got, uh, AJ, this is cool. We just found out that we're in going to be an all four major airport bookstores. That's unheard of heavily promoted on the, you know, face out. Um, we're just getting tons of, uh, it's just the momentum is exceptional. So anywhere books are sold, sold, give to grow. People are going to love it. Well, Johnny and I have some cross country flights to get to, and I couldn't imagine how great it would be to sit with this book on a four or five hour flight, working through all of the sections in there and taking notes and dog-earing pages.

1:02:49So I encourage all of our audience to do that. Yes, they definitely should. It's a high recommend. Yeah. Didn't we say we should make a recommendation at the end of a give? So we'd be failing our audience if we didn't say buy the book, give to grow, emblaze it on your mind. Thank you, Mo. This is so much fun. Great having you. It was a blast. Thanks, guys. Johnny, AJ, I had high expectations. You exceeded them. This has been a lot of fun. Thank you.

1:03:24Well, I hope you enjoyed that episode as much as we have. And now comes a part of the show where we showcase one of our X Factor members. Take it away, Daniel. My name is Daniel and I'm a manufacturing engineer. My overall experience with the X Factor Accelerator program has been excellent due to effective teaching and a supportive community of like-minded individuals. Since joining, I've cultivated deeper connections with my friends, family, and colleagues by implementing the conversational techniques learned in the program. These deeper connections have made my life more fulfilling, both personally and professionally.

1:04:01I would recommend joining the X Factor Accelerator program because the excellent teaching and consistent accountability ensure you will grow into the person that you want to become. Daniel, it was a pleasure working with you too, and good luck with all your future pursuits. 95 % of your success or failure in life comes down to who you surround yourself with. David McClellan of Harvard did a 25-year study on the characteristics of highly motivated, successful people. The people you habitually associate yourself with determine the level of success you achieve. Who you let in your inner circle has a huge impact on your beliefs, your values, and your actions.

1:04:37Here's the kicker. We all have this reference group. Think of them as your personal board of directors. Surround yourself with winners and magic happens. Imagine transforming your everyday just by upgrading your tribe. We created a free mini course for Art of Charm listeners with our best networking strategies and mindsets. Social capital networking is not just another networking guide. It's your doorway to turning acquaintances into lasting connections. Real relationships that push you towards your goals, both personal and professional. Head over to theartofcharm.com slash SC to get your free mini course.

1:05:13If you've gotten value out of this or any of our podcasts, please head on over to your favorite podcast player and rate and review the show. It means the world to us and it helps others find the show. And before we head out, a huge thank you to our producers, Michael Harold and Eric Montgomery. Go out there and have an amazing, amazing week.

1:05:43You threw your love away Like it was just a toy And you sold the world You sold the world You sold the world You sold the world You sold the world You sold the world You sold the world You sold the world Cause you had your taste Of black on the yesterday Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you It was a bad day But I found it a wrong way