Handle the Pressure and Avoid These 3 Leadership Traps | Sabina Nawaz

26:33The other thing about it is for those leaders to expand their ability and how they deliver praise. because if you're giving somebody, hey, I think what you did there is awesome, five times to one, I can understand where, well, I don't want to be a robot, or if I keep saying this, it loses its effect, it dilutes the power. So, you know, finding other ways in which you're able to do that. So if somebody comes back with work that maybe they've gotten to the same result, But in another way, well, showing your curiosity and interest of why they chose the way that they've done it and giving them praise on the journey that they took to get there that was different than yours that ended up in the same result.

27:21I mean, there's plenty of ways throughout the way we communicate that is going to give tons of praise. And a lot of times, if you can find the ways that maybe somebody isn't used to or a new way that they have gotten value for the work they've done, well, you're going to make a new ally for life. That is so true. So true. There are many different ways. And there is a way that we know really well. We just somehow de-skill ourselves when it comes to positive feedback. Because praise is, I agree with you, it's kind of empty and hollow and it lasts as long as a good massage, you know, overnight. But if, look, we already know how to give corrective feedback.

28:06We make it behave, when we do it well, we make it behavioral, we tie it to specific examples so people know what not to do. Why not use the exact same formula for positive feedback? what specifically are you doing that's causing this result? I had somebody tell me in a class, you're very passionate. And I thought, okay, first of all, is that a good thing or a bad thing? And he said, oh, no, no, it's a really good thing. Okay. So I don't know what to do with passionate. How do I bottle that and replicate it? So can you tell me what is it that I did that make me appear passionate? Oh, you speak a lot with your hands and you vary your vocal tone.

28:43So now I know I can study more around hand gestures and vocal tone and deliver more passion. How did that passion help you? Oh, it keeps me awake. It gets me interested in the topic, etc. So now I know when I'm more deliberate with the hand gestures, my vocal tone, it actually lands my message more effectively. Now I can replicate that. One thing that I want to stress in a lot of these situations around pressure is the default mode that we're in as leaders, which is we're searching for answers. We've a lot of our clients that we work with come from very analytical backgrounds. So we're trying to hone in our focus to solve the problem, move forward, hit the deadline.

29:26And that zoning in often creates the singular story of what's going on. And the only thing we have to relate to is our own experience. So we talk to a lot of frustrated leaders who are like, I can't believe my team members not doing this one thing the same way that I would do it. it's like, well, of course, they're not going to do it the same way as you would do it. As Johnny was saying, they might take another path to get the same result. But that pressure really hones our focus into our own experiences and then frustration with our team members when they're not executing the same way we would.

29:59How do we unravel that? Yeah. And the power position we're in keeps everyone from saying that that's not the only way or maybe even not the best way. it's funny you bring this up and i know you've just got a newborn when my boys were before they were teenagers one day i started thinking what is the most common thing that people come to me they get into trouble with my clients in their 40s and 50s and how do i future proof my kids against it and that one of the biggest things i came up with aj was this singular story and the gap that that creates. And of course, the more I know, the more singular my story gets, because that's what I've been rewarded for.

30:43That's what's worked in the past. So we created a game called multiple meanings. And I use that just like with my kids. I use that with the people I coach, which is with the kids, we would be crossing this bridge on the way to school. It would usually take about 90 seconds and we would pick something at random that's going on and take turns making multiple meanings about what was happening. So let's say somebody was biking across the bridge and she didn't have a helmet on. I could say something like, well, she doesn't believe that helmets help with safety. One of my sons might say, well, she actually fell down and smashed her helmet yesterday and hasn't had time to go buy one.

31:29And my older son might say, she's very fashion conscious and the helmet color clashes with the patterned animal print writing pants that she has, and so on. By making multiple meanings of a situation, we realize that our view is not the view, that actually we may not know what the truth is, like with this random stranger who's going by while we're in the car. And it builds a muscle. It builds a capacity when in moments of conflict to stop and do that. This is a really effective tool I've used with many C-suite teams when there is a butting of heads. Somebody comes and says, oh, he's proposed that idea because clearly he wants to encroach on my turf.

32:22Well, maybe he's actually trying to give you head count or he didn't know it was your turf and so on.

32:33Think you're the only one struggling with performance issues in the bedroom? You're not. And now there's an easier way to fix it from home. That's where RexMD comes in. It's an online telehealth service that helps men get real FDA approved medications straight to your door. Everything's done online. No doctor's office, no waiting rooms, no awkward conversations. Here's how it works. First, share your symptoms, health history, and goals through a short quiz. Then, a U.S. licensed provider reviews your information and prescribes medication, if appropriate. Your treatment gets sent to you with free two-day delivery.

33:06It's that easy. And RexMD team is there for ongoing care. Just send a message. What I love about RexMD? Total discretion, private consultations, and direct-to-door delivery in discreet packaging. No pharmacy trips needed. Plus, it's care that you can trust. FDA-approved medications tailored to individual needs. Over 475 ,000 men have chosen RexMD, with over 50 million tablets prescribed and delivered. This isn't just about performance. It's about feeling secure in yourself and your relationships again. Don't put your love life on hold. Take back control of your confidence and intimacy. Get up to 95 % off treatment with RexMD.

33:45Visit rexmd.com slash charm. That's rexmd.com slash charm. See full details and usage at rexmd.com. Prescription required. Results may vary.

34:18a meme or milestone, all protected with end-to-end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone. Learn more at whatsapp.com. It's in our psychology to get an answer to questions that we don't have answers for. But we have to also recognize that just because we put an answer there doesn't make it true. And that exercise shows that there's an infinite number of answers and varying probabilities. Absolutely. And by the way, this is really helpful in my marriage as well, when I do remember to do it. Well, speaking of marriages, Johnny and I joke as being partners as long as we have that we come to each other for that singular story and say, hey, AJ, this is what I'm seeing.

35:13Hey, me out here. And we've been fortunate to help each other unravel that singular story in these moments. But inevitably, as partners in the business, we find that much like a marriage, you know, kids will divide. Your team members will go to one leader over the other because they feel like, OK, maybe I can communicate better or maybe I can get an advantage or maybe I can get my perspective across. And it's created challenges for us in our partnership to keep things even, to allow the team to perform at their best. And also for us to avoid those blind spots that come with that of, you know, Johnny knows more than me now because people are having side meetings with him or AJ knows more than me because people aren't communicating with Johnny.

35:55And then that creates a larger need for Johnny and I to communicate even more, which sometimes we're both time-starved and can be difficult. So in those situations where, you know, there's leaders at the same level, but team members below them who are kind of running around, How do you approach that? And what can we do to strengthen our leadership as a boss when we're basically in a partnership scenario? Sounds like you're doing a lot of things right in that situation. And you're right. Again, time is not infinite, but these conversations happen in so many different directions. So how do you do that without sinking all of your time in it?

36:31And one might be in the conversation you're having with the employee, asking them, so have you talked to Johnny about this? And what did Johnny say? So now, again, they might embellish it or garnish it a little bit, but you're saying, okay, I've got eyes on you. I'm going to hold you accountable to have conversations with both of us, not do an end run and lobby things with one versus the other. so that's one that does not take any extra time you're just doing it in the conversation you might also decide if you have clear swim lanes in certain situations hey that's actually something you need to talk to johnny directly about is there is there something i can do to help coach you to have that conversation with johnny yeah and and then a follow-up email that cc's both of us or completes the circle on that communication because I've also found in those situations, especially for Johnny and I as leaders, we're on to the next thing.

37:30That person who had the meeting with either one of us is thinking about it, it's doing over it, crafting the follow-up message, then go to Johnny about it. And their recollection can be vastly different than my recollection or Johnny's recollection in the moment as we've moved on to the next thing. Yes. And have them do the first draft of that email. So have them send the email going, hey, it's really important that Johnny and I are us summarizing what we've just discussed. And then you can always fly on top of it and go, actually, it's not A, it's A prime. Here's how. But have them do the work.

38:02So a principle underneath this is if they are trying to play games with you, take up more of their time so that there is a barrier to them doing this instead of you sucking it all up to yourself and working hard and running between Johnny and AJ. Right. So putting the onus on them slows them down from the game playing. Now, you mentioned something there that I think a lot of leaders find once they're in a new role is this the swim lanes. Johnny and I have been fortunate that we have completely different skill sets. So there's not as much overlap. And it's pretty clear for us organizationally, who's in charge of what.

38:40But oftentimes, when we join a team of leaders, and everyone is type A and trying to get that next promotion, it can be very difficult in the jockeying to establish yourself and what you're working on and then also protect yourself from those other leaders who are trying to encroach or take credit for your swim lane. So what do you say to those leaders who are struggling with that interplay between leadership of the same level to allow them to be successful with their team and create the opportunity to be promoted when it feels like everyone's jockeying against each other? One of the hardest aspects of exercising leadership is exercising leadership without authority, which is with your peers.

39:20Often we confuse leadership with authority. When we have authority, it's not leadership. We're just exercising authority. Whereas with our peers, no one's giving us, who are you? You're not the boss of me. How do you do this? If possible, it's about naming the elephants in the room without accusing anybody, but simply saying, look, we all want what's best for the company. We are all eager to do this, and it seems like we are all trying to work on the same thing here. Can we have a conversation? This is such a common thing that some of the organizations I work with have a term for it. They call it cookie licking, where there's this plate of really nice, wonderful, melt-in-your-mouth cookies, and somebody goes and licks every single cookie.

40:10Now no one else can eat those. And of course, this person's going to get sick if they eat all the cookies. So it's about actually putting that issue on the table and seeing if you can have a conversation. What's covert? Can you make that overt? The other one is managing up in those situations, not in a smarmy end run, let me lobby the boss to get the biggest share of the pie way, but more to say, I'm curious, how are you seeing our roles and responsibilities play out? A lot of times bosses will say, you go figure it out. But there are some times where it is necessary to involve the person who does have authority to help arbitrate these situations.

40:52I know many of our listeners and as well as our clients are growth minded and they want to achieve success in their career. And oftentimes when we're in that individual contributor role, the feedback loop is pretty clear. It's obvious to our manager what we can and can't do or what we should be doing. But once we move into middle management, where there's layers of management now. And now we're managing a team and the team members might not be performing as we're a new manager, new leader or boss. And then now all of a sudden we're in the feedback cycle and we're not getting the same feedback.

41:25It's not clear what those gaps are and how we can improve. So you mentioned managing upwards. What can we do in that middle management role to elicit the feedback we need to grow as a boss if it isn't coming from our traditional feedback cycles? You're the boss of people who report to you. So ask them. Now, again, remember, it's going to be muted. It's going to be less pointed than you want. But by asking specific questions, what's one thing that I could do better? What's one thing that I'm doing well? I think the quality of feedback is proportional to the quality of the question you ask. And so asking very specific questions.

42:07Another way to work around the muting effect is to ask in the third person, Hey, I'm new to this role and I'm wondering for the people who seem to think I'm doing a good job, who tend to agree with me most of the time, what do you think they're saying about me? And then what are people who don't always agree with me, who are my detractors, what do you think they're saying about me? So now you're not putting that particular person on the spot. They can speak on behalf of somebody else, but give you the feedback that you need. Yeah, that's super helpful, especially to allow the people that you're eliciting the feedback from to share a bit more openly, specifically, versus the platitudes and the compliments that we receive, passionate, excited, charismatic.

42:57That's a lot more difficult for us to take as feedback and then do more of or do less of or improve. and one of the key perspectives you write about in the book is being the boss of you. Oftentimes when we move up the ranks, we're looking for strategies to manage other people. Okay, how do I get this person more productive or how do I give them feedback or how do I make this thing happen faster so everything's outward? And we get asked those questions all the time from our listeners and clients. Hey, how do I handle this one conflict strategy? Very rarely are we taking the mirror up to ourselves as a new boss and saying, okay, what can I do myself here to improve?

43:33So what does it mean to be the boss of you? And what are those habits that we need foundationally to start with to become better bosses? Well, the first thing is to never go to work hungry. When we go to grocery stores hungry, I don't know, AJ, what do you pick up in the aisles when you go hungry to the grocery store? Not the good stuff, not the stuff I want to share with Johnny or our listeners. Right. So it's stuff that's junk. And when we show up to work hungry, we engage in junk behaviors, whether or not we get feedback on it. And what are those junk behaviors, the behaviors where we're not treating people as well?

44:12And we tell ourselves all these stories. Yeah, but I'm super busy right now. Yeah, but I had told them already and so on. And we have a negative effect. So first thing is to recognize what are your own inner hungers or inner needs, which are very human, like wanting to be praised a lot, wanting to be seen as the hero, or wanting to be seen as the martyr, or wanting to show up as the smartest person in the room. Are there other places you can get those needs met? Because otherwise, people are going to divert you from your agenda. Like somebody who said they wanted to really hold their direct report's feet to the fire about the budget, but the team knew that they really appreciated praise.

44:55They diverted the whole conversation about this wonderful customer call that this person did, and they failed to hold the team accountable. So first is recognizing those. Second is to develop a micro habit. And a micro habit has two characteristics. It's ridiculously small, and you do it every single day. Let's say that one of my hungers is to show up as the smartest person in the room. And I really need to exercise that shut up muscle that we talked about earlier instead and allow the brilliance of everyone else to emerge first. So maybe my micro habit then becomes once a day for one meeting, I'm going to ask a coaching question as opposed to provide an answer.

45:47A coaching question like, how did you think about that? To Johnny's earlier point, if they've done something a different way and it's worked just as well, what was your thought process? Something like that. So just a very teeny tiny question that I ask every day. So it curbs my desire to always be the one popping up with the answer. Yeah, it can be very difficult when that hunger and what's really interesting about all this is how much of our childhood plays a role in our leadership. We think as adults, we're fully formed and now I just got to focus on the future. But to be the smartest person in the room, I'm sure a lot of our listeners are nodding their heads.

46:26People watching YouTube are nodding along. I have that feeling. It's hard because so much of our validation comes from those key moments, whether it's winning the spelling bee or being the person who got the highest test score and really showcasing that intelligence has allowed us to achieve so much. But once you get to the boss role, that intelligence is not going to be celebrated by your team. It's not as impactful as you had hoped or thought. And you can't rely on it as your go-to tool. But that hunger is still there. It's still present. Exactly. And ironically, if you allow others to shine, you're still going to look incredibly smart because your contributions are going to be more unique.

47:11They're the things that others haven't yet contributed. And with your elevated perch, you might have a better vantage point to be able to provide those. But if you're constantly speaking, then nothing is standing out. Now, with the pressure, there are these pressure points, these triggers that create emotional reactions in us that maybe in the past you've bottled or you've only really seen yourself. But now with teams and peers and people looking up to you, those emotional trigger points are not helpful in any way. How can we start to recognize those triggers if in the past maybe they drove us to success, they haven't hindered us, whereas now they're actually impacting us as a boss?

47:54A colleague of mine says that the fastest way to change your mind is to change your body. And often when we are triggered, there is some sort of a physical reaction going on in us. For me, the tips of my ears get hot. And I know that if I open my mouth at that point, I'm going to say something that I'm going to regret. So mute button to the rescue. So notice what are some of your physical cues when you are triggered and how, and by time, that would be the generic strategy, buying time. It could be simply taking a sip of water. It could be paraphrasing the question back. By the way, it could also be doing slightly complex math, like countdown by seven, from 100 to 80.

48:44If our brain gets shifted from the amygdala, the ancient part, which is fight or flight, to doing something more analytical for about six seconds, we are able to shift our emotional reaction. It's so key to recognize the physical sensations and then to start to relate it to, well, what are the moments that I find that happening the most? Is it certain types of people? Is it certain types of situations? Is it in conflict? Is it on Zoom? Is it when I'm public speaking? You know, in these moments of presenting in front of the room, oftentimes we might be able to acknowledge the emotional impact, what's going on physically, the sensation, but we're often not paying attention to the patterns that go along with that and the environments and the factors that are triggering us.

49:32Exactly right, Ajan. You talked about childhood. Many of these things get formed in childhood as well. Just like our hungers are sort of love equals showing up as the smartest person or the martyr or whatever, these are danger happens when horrible consequences happen, when I disagree with someone in a position of power or when I present in a certain situation. So when you recognize these situations, you're able to manage yourself better ahead of time. Often, I tell my clients, if possible, simply go outside, even if it's for three seconds before that difficult meeting. Just get one deep breath in of fresh air and come back in and then have the meeting.

50:13But that just mindfulness of, okay, I'm acknowledging this is going to be hard and I'm doing something to be the boss of me, to manage myself before I go in. And there's certainly all the pathways that have been built from every time that you have replicated those certain behaviors. So there's going to be a chain reaction that you're well aware of for all of these opportunities where you've been triggered. And if those behaviors are not going to be helpful for you, well, then you're going to need to know when you've been triggered well beforehand, as you were mentioning. And for us, with our clients, we have comfort zone challenges for them to do just so they can begin to learn to identify what their early warning signs are that they're being triggered.

51:06Because once it kicks off, in the moment, you are going to resort to old behaviors, to the programmed behaviors. And if you're looking to grow as a leader, those behaviors are going to need to be changed. And that takes some time. And it's not as difficult as most people think. It takes a little bit of effort, a little bit of attention to details and understanding when you're triggered, but it's a process nonetheless. So to think that you're going to go into this meeting and do a new behavior under pressure, it's just not going to happen. And if you try, it could end up being a little bit worse than you planned.

51:52So learning these moments and what it feels like when you are triggered and the very early warning signs is very beneficial. Yes, and experimenting with them in safer, smaller ways before that big thing. Because then you're going to do a face plant if you've never done it that way before. I often tell people, here's your best tool, a simple sticky. Yep. Because in the moment, see, it's easy to say, don't do something, but it's very hard to don't do something. What am I doing instead? And so on the sticky, write down five possible ways in which you're going to manage your trigger, because in the moment, your brain is not functioning.

52:33But the sticky is right there. So I go, OK, eenie, meenie, pick this one. Great.

52:42This episode is brought to you by Indeed. When your computer breaks, you don't wait for it to magically start working again. You fix the problem. So why wait to hire the people your company desperately needs? Use Indeed's sponsored jobs to hire top talent fast. And even better, you only pay for results. There's no need to wait. Speed up your hiring with a$75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Next up is a little song from CarMax about selling a car your way. You want to sell those wheels? You want to get a CarMax instant offer? So fast. Want to take a sec to think about it?

53:25Or like a month? Want to keep tabs on that instant offer? With OfferWatch. Want to have CarMax pick it up from your driveway? You want to get it done to it? You want to do it all over here? So, want to drive? CarMax. Pickup not available everywhere. Restrictions in fee may apply. Yeah, we have to replace that behavior. It's just like habits. You know, you can't just undo bad habits. They have to be replaced with some other action because that trigger is still there. And unfortunately, many of us don't recognize those triggers until we are in the high pressure situation. Part of what's causing the pressure, and we see many leaders who are constantly drowning in their own inability to delegate.

54:10So because they want to be seen as the smartest, they've been advancing their careers, being the problem solver, always knowing the solution. Now they're in a leadership role and they're really struggling to delegate to their new team members, to people that they're managing. And because of this, they end up in the sole provider role that you say that all of a sudden we're overwhelmed. And how could I possibly find my triggers, AJ? Or how could I possibly work in my communication, Johnny? I'm just drowning over here. And yet their team is starving for opportunities and tasks and things to take off their plate so that they could perform and so that they could be promoted and achieve.

54:45But here they are holding themselves off in their office, trying to plow through work that could easily be delegated. So what's going on and how do we start to recognize that we're in this situation and overcome it? Because so many of us complain about drowning when as leaders, if anything, we should be allowing our team to support us. Well, one of the reasons we don't delegate is because most of us do a really shoddy job of delegating. And there is a very common, the single most common mistake I see people make, CEO on down, new managers, middle managers, CEOs, is they treat delegation like an on-off switch.

55:22So instead of treating delegation as an on-off switch, treat it as a dial. This happened with one of my clients where she was the CFO and she was working with a direct report who was working on investor relations. And his writing was just not up to par. And they spent months and months and months. And each time she'd just go, oh, yeah, not a good job. And then she would rewrite the whole thing herself. Now, if she used the delegation dial, recognizing that this guy didn't have the skill yet, he didn't have the understanding or the depth of experience that she had. Now you can use notch number three on the dial, which is teach.

56:08She could be very prescriptive, saying, here's the steps to write when you're writing to these folks. and this is why I choose these kinds of steps. So now they're learning the why behind why she keeps rewriting this memo. And then after that's done for a while and you see that the person is learning this, now they might come up with their own ways to do things. Now you can slide the dial one notch up to coaching, which is, so how did you approach this? What other options did you consider? What were the pros and cons of these options that led you to this decision? So you're helping them clarify their own answers and their own way of thinking before you finally do the switch and go, okay, I'm here as a safety net.

56:54I think what's so interesting about the delegation piece on the other end of it is so much safety right now is in busyness. We feel good when we're notching things off our to-do list and when we're busy. And unfortunately, as a manager, that busyness actually keeps you from the deep work, the thoughtful stuff that pushes the larger initiative forward. but we play to our comfort zone of just being busy and checking things off to the detriment of our teams. And then, of course, we feel stuck and our family's getting the worst of us. Our partner is getting the worst of us. We have no time for our social life and all the other things we need in our life.

57:31So what do you say to leaders who really need to understand creating space, not so many meetings and certainly not so much busy work and allowing the delegation piece that's created safety for them of being busy and having the full calendar, which feels good checking those boxes, but in actuality is holding them back from being that great boss. It's also protecting them from their imposter syndrome fear. I'm busy because I'm doing things that I've already done and I know how to do. If I stop being busy and others take that on, everyone's going to find out I don't know how to do my real job. You're not earning your paycheck to be busy.

58:06You're earning your paycheck to do this. So now let's dig into that. One of the ways to do this is to do nothing. We talked about saying nothing before. Here's a do nothing, which is this idea of blank space. Blank space is two hours back to back once a week that you leave the office or your home office or your home. You don't read. You don't talk. You don't research things on the web because we know what rabbit hole that takes us down. you simply carve out that time to think and to be. Research shows that our best ideas, our best insights are already hiding in plain sight inside us. And they come out when we give our thinking brain a rest in the shower, on our commute, while jogging.

58:56So why not carve that time out as part of your job? Now, most people, when I propose this to them, have a near panic attack. What do you mean? Do nothing? Like action? Like, can I make a to-do list? Can I do this? Can I do that? No, none of those things. So if you have a hard time getting used to that idea, start it as a micro habit. Start with one minute a day. Think about it. In our days, these days, where's my phone? When we're always tethered here, could you even tolerate one minute of complete lack of noise and space, and then slowly build it up to two hours or bring to your two-hour blank space time a big idea, one of those things that you really want to noodle on but never have time, and start thinking about that if you need a little bit of a scaffolding to use your word.

59:52Well, one of the comfort blankets that I think a lot of new bosses or even senior management and C-suite executives lean into then is meetings. So we've delegated and now all of a sudden we're looking at a blank calendar, but that's very scary because I got to be doing something with my time to get paid. I'm trading time for money and now it's death by meeting. And oftentimes, especially as we become leaders and things are growing, we're not trained on how to run meetings or what a great meeting is or a bad meeting is. And unfortunately, our direct reports are dreading those moments on the calendar where they're just being tied up when they could be going off and doing the things that you delegated to them.

1:00:33So what is your advice on the death by meeting and what leaders should really look to accomplish in meetings? And are there goals or frameworks to work with to allow us to be better at meetings so that no one is feeling this death by meeting? First of all, if your meeting is just about information sharing, it's not a meeting. It's a team's message, a Slack channel, an email. So meetings should be about discussions, debate, generative conversations where ideas come up or decisions get made or difficult conversations happen. Second, is it a one-on-one or is it a one-for-all? Often leadership meetings are where the manager is benefiting from getting updates or looking into each department.

1:01:16but the department heads are busy on their email or their devices and they get animated only when their particular silo comes up. So be clear about is there a reason to have a joint meeting and if so get everybody on the hook. Don't allow that one-to-one tennis match to happen. Third of all there is a framework that I found really helpful in meetings. It has five elements to it. First is context. When we last met, we agreed on X and Y, and that's why we're here today. Second goal, the goal of this meeting is to look at our branding strategy. Third, outcomes, because the goal is pretty broad. You're not going to cover a branding strategy in a one-hour meeting.

1:02:04So what are the exit criteria around the branding strategy for this particular meeting? We want to leave this meeting with everybody understanding X. Fourth, here's what I want from you. The best way to get people to not get distracted away from the meeting agenda is to give them a task. I want you to play devil's advocate. I want resources. I'm going to need you to make a decision. I'm going to ask you to give me some feedback, etc. So what is it that you want from them. And number five, is there anything else you would like to add? Because another reason that we get distracted is we have another agenda in mind and we don't want to lose that.

1:02:45You may not be able to deliver that to them, but by parking it and telling them you're going to come back to it next time will allow them to be fully present. I love that. And I'm ready to start using it as a framework in our own meetings. As I know, we're constantly trying to call as many meetings as we can and be as impactful with the time shared together with the team. So that's such a great framework for our audience. What I love about the book is there's just so many great exercises. And I know we covered so much ground today, but if we could leave our audience with one really impactful exercise that you love from the book that will make them a better leader, I'd love to hear it in closing.

1:03:21Wow. Yeah, there's so many to choose from. You know, all my children are important to me. So it's a mini exercise. As you may have noticed, I'm a fan of doing as little as possible and taking as small an action as possible. So the exercise would be two words. Say more. It signals curiosity. It allows space for other points of view to exist. It makes you recognize you're not always right. And it gives you more ideas, more tools with which to proceed, especially in our times, which are so pressure-filled, ambiguous, uncertain, and constantly changing. Thank you so much for joining us and helping new leaders and old leaders deal with the pressure in ways that actually help build great teams.

1:04:12Where can our audience find out more about you, the book, and all the great work that you do? Thank you for having me. The book is available, You're the Boss, anywhere books are sold. You can find out more about me on my website, sabinanawaz.com. You can also follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, Sabina Coaching. And I look forward to hearing how those meetings go for you, AJ and John, as you adopt these five elements. And same for your listeners. If you put these tools to practice, I'd love to hear what the result was. Thank you again for joining us. This was a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you.

1:05:01That concludes another episode of the Art of Charm podcast. And now comes a part of the show where we showcase one of our X Factor Accelerator members. Take it away, Preston. Hey, everyone. This is Preston from Mesa, Arizona. I joined the Art of Charm because after transitioning out of the military, I noticed I was struggling with building connections and relationships with people on a personal scale. And it didn't help on the business side of things either. I tried a lot of different coaching programs, YouTube, personal growth videos, the works. And the great thing about Art of Charm is it's not a pill that you can just take to quickly fix everything.

1:05:33They have a system and a structure so that you can build what you need to to see the matrix in yourself and actually get the results that you're looking for in the end. The awesome thing, AJ, Johnny, Michael, they work with you one-on-one as well as they put out a lot of time and effort to set up continual meetings there during the week and groups. Again, I would highly recommend this. You're going to see the matrix. You're going to see things that will help you connect and build great relationships. Thank you, Preston. And it was a pleasure working with you too. And good luck to you and your future endeavors.

1:06:04If you've gotten value out of this or any of our podcasts, head on over to your favorite podcast player and rate and review the show. And mean the world to us and it helps others find the show. All right, before we head out, a huge thank you to our producers Michael Herald and Eric Montgomery until next week go out there and be charming yeah I remember you you were the bad boy you threw your love away like you were just a toy and you sold the world you're a song of a tragedy Cause you had your taste Of black on the yesterday Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you

1:07:04Rinse takes your laundry and hand delivers it to your door expertly cleaned and folded so you could take the time once spent folding and sorting and waiting to finally pursue a whole new version of you. Like tea time you. Mmm. Or this tea time you. Or even this tea time you. So did you hear about Dave? Or even tea time, tea time, tea time you. Mmm. So update on Dave. It's up to you. We'll take the laundry. Rinse. It's time to be great.