Stop DESTROYING Your Status | Social Intelligence Briefing

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2:58Today we're breaking down the real status game and why chasing approval actually kills your status. And the people who rise the fastest, they operate from a completely different frame, a high value frame that creates status without ever reaching for it. Most high performers grow up believing their competence equals status. Be excellent and people will notice. But once you reach a certain level, everyone around you is competent. Status stops being about your output and starts being about your frame. So working harder sort of works against you here. So that's something to think about. And we're going to lay it out for you.

3:36So here's the invisible costly mistake. Trying to get status signals low status. Creating value signals high status. Meaning when you justify, explain, defend, overprove yourself, you are in a supplicative or competitive frame. Both communicate the exact same message. You get to decide my value. High status people flip this completely. They don't seek attention, approval or acceptance. They radiate it. That's the cooperative frame. High value by definition. And you feel this instantly. Your nervous system picks up the frame before your brain does. Someone who needs your validation, they're creating tension for you.

4:24Someone who is grounded in their own value creates gravitas. AJ, this is what we were discussing last night on our X Factor session, which is a lot of us don't realize the games that we played to get status, to get value for ourselves As we were going through this last night and as we go through this today, you, the audience, will start to hear certain behaviors that are going to sound quite familiar to you. And what we're trying to do here is to bring these unconscious behaviors to a conscious level so that you now have a choice to either continue what you've always done or to give you new moves that will boost your status.

5:13So what are three status leaks that you might not realize you're even making? The first one is proving yourself. Someone pushes on your idea, you immediately defend with logic. You list your credentials. You explain. That's low status. So the high status move here, when someone's pushing on your idea, simply ask, what specifically concerns you? Now they have to justify themselves. You keep the frame. You lead. AJ, just really quickly for our audience, I want to define what that frame is. It's the lens through which these interactions are viewed. And it's not just you and the person pushing on your idea.

5:54There's a whole room. When they challenge your idea, now everyone looks at you for you to justify it. When you ask what specifically concerns you about it, then that frame goes back to them. everyone's not looking at that person to justify why they're asking it. You're leading. And you kept your value. You didn't have to supplicate or compete for it with the other person. When you're making good money, it's easy to get complacent. You don't track every dollar. Then the holidays hit and you realize you have no idea where it all went. If you want to keep your finances under control this holiday season, you need to be using Monarch.

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7:47Get your wardrobe sorting and your gift list handle with Quince. Go to quince.com slash charm for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash charm free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash charm the second leak we see a lot is seeking others approval you say sorry every time that you set a boundary and soften everything so the high status move here i can't take that on right now no apology no justification just reality you're keeping your boundaries that's actually the cooperative frame aj this was one that was brought up last night in the session.

8:33One of our attendees mentioned that he has no problem setting boundaries, but in going through the class, he realized that he justifies and apologizes for every boundary set. And again, that's you looking for approval to set your own boundary that protects your most precious assets, your time and energy. And if you don't have the time to perform at your job, you're going to be replaced. It's that simple. Now, the third leak is competing for others' attention. That's right. Someone shares a win and you immediately share a bigger one. You think you're signaling competence. Actually, you're signaling insecurity.

9:19So the high status move here, that's huge. What made you pursue that path? you actually acknowledge their value without sacrificing yours. AJ, another piece to this is when people are excited, it's their moment. So when you have to share your own moment, you're taking the spotlight away from them. The high status move allows them to shine even brighter and they're going to remember you for that. You're creating an ally. And remember, you will have your moments too. We don't have to step on other people's moments to shine on ourselves. So how do we shift this? What are three moves that instantly raise our status?

10:05These are the behavioral equivalents of stepping into your cooperative frame. So the first one is offer value before being asked, not as a performance, not to be liked, but just because you operate from abundance. Some examples are, hey, I noticed the summary could be more tighter. I'm happy to help if it's useful. You're offering support. Or, hey, you mentioned needing a contractor. Do you want an intro? You're offering your network. Offer value with zero attachment and you instantly rise. The second one is start setting boundaries without justifying or apologizing. Low status people apologize for having limits.

10:49High status people just state them cleanly. So the high status move is, hey, tonight I'm recharging, let's plan next week. That's it, no emotional tax payment. No apology necessary. You know yourself and you understand that when you show up as your best, other people benefit. When you show up as your worst, you become low value. Now, the third one is we are gonna acknowledge others without shrinking ourselves. This is elite social intelligence. When someone else wins, you amplify their win. Because their success doesn't threaten yours. This is exactly how high value people create connection and rise in status simultaneously.

11:34And it's such a great feeling when you're surrounded by high value people who know how to celebrate other people's wins. It empowers everyone in the group. AJ, one of the guys last night, Marcus, was mentioning that setting boundaries has always been difficult for himself, especially at work. Anyone needs anything? Hey, I'm just going to take it on because it's good for the company, right? That was his thought. recognizing how that reaches for approval and also exhausting him. He started setting boundaries. He recognized after two weeks, people stopped coming to him for every little thing and just made him feel so much better coming into work because he wasn't worrying about what am I going to get hit with today?

12:19And that's the fastest way to burn yourself out. When you're constantly boundaryless and taking on everyone else's work as well as your own, you're not getting ahead. So what's our status assignment this week, Johnny? For you guys listening at home, I want you to pick one of these moves and do it three times this week. And then note to yourself, if it felt awkward, how did you go through it? How did you feel after have done it? And then lastly, after having some time away from it or completing it for three times, how do you feel about it? So the first one is offer value first. What could be helpful?

13:04Where can you act from a place of abundance that does not take much time or effort from you? The second one is to set boundaries without apologizing. Hey, I just can't take that on right now. My bandwidth is out perhaps next week. And thirdly, acknowledge someone without competing. Shine the spotlight brighter on them so they can have their moment. They will acknowledge that and you'll be creating many allies. And you hit the nail on the head, Johnny. Watch how people respond to you. Watch how you actually feel doing these status moves. Notice your frame shifts first and the status follows. If you want these ideas to become your default behavior and not something you remember on a good day, join us in the X Factor Accelerator 2.0.

14:06We rebuilt the entire system. You're getting the full high value operating system, status, presence, emotional calibration, frame control, and the conversation skills to back it all up. Plus full access to AJ and I without group coaching calls. Get direct personal feedback from us when real life moments happen. If today's episode expose how often you've been seeking status instead of creating it, X Factor 2.0 installs the version of you that stops leaking value and starts attracting opportunity. Join us at unlockyourxfactor.com. Launching in January, your future self will know exactly why you did this.

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