Stop Managing Time | Tim Grover

24:38And then literally 10 years later, other people were incorporating that kind of training method into these individuals. So what makes you so unique and so successful is, yeah, you know what the foundation and fundamental principles are to have a good podcast. But in order for it to be a successful, extraordinary podcast, you got to put your own little recipe onto it. You got to put your own little things into the soup. You got to know, hey, this is what works for us. It may not, I don't care if it doesn't work for anybody else. This is what works for us. And having that ability to know, you know, not only what to think, but how to think is a huge advantage to individuals who want to stay ahead of everybody else.

25:24Johnny Dzubak:AJ, what's the one thing every adult wishes they could get back from being a kid? Easy. Freedom. No obligations. No one taking your money every month for something you barely use. Mint Mobile just made that real. All plans,$15 a month right now. Even unlimited. I couldn't believe how easy it was. Bring your own phone, keep your number, sign up online in minutes. You're on the T-Mobile 5G network. We're talking high-speed data, unlimited talk, and text. The only thing that changes is how much you're paying. Choose three, six, or 12 months and kill the monthly bill for good. Big Wireless has been overcharging you for years.

25:59Johnny Dzubak:This is the move. To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash charm. That's mintmobile.com slash charm. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash charm. That's it, there's no catch. Upfront payment of$45 for three months, $90 for six months, or$180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot, capable device required. Availability speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. Johnny, real talk.

26:40Upwork is the reason we've been able to grow the way we have.

26:42Johnny Dzubak:A hundred percent. Website, SEO, marketing consulting. We found specialists for all of it. The results blew us away. Here's the thing nobody tells you. The fastest growing businesses aren't doing more. They're delegating smarter. You don't have to hire full-time to get world-class help. Upwork lets you find, hire, and pay expert freelancers across over 125 categories. Web development, data, marketing, business ops, it's all there. You browse profiles, see their past work, and get matched fast. Business Plus gets you the top 1 % of talent with AI-powered shortlisting, finding your person in under six hours.

27:20Johnny Dzubak:Contracts, payments, handled all in one place. You stay focused on the business. We've used it and it works. In fact, our most recent project, we did an SEO audit. We've had our website for almost 20 years and we had no idea how AI was searching our site. We worked with an Upwork specialist to get our results fast. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That's Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com Upwork.com. And you hit the nail on the head. I mean, when you look at winning one championship, that off season, every team is studying Tate and breaking down what you did to get there.

28:02They are learning all of your weaknesses and everything that was a strength. We've seen the NBA evolve. Now it's a three point league. And if you just stay the same as you were the last year you won the championship, you might be lucky to make the playoffs. It is so highly competitive. Now, obviously, one athlete of Michael Jordan's stature would be enough to end the career, lace it up. I did it. We won the championships. Let me go on vacation. But you've taken now multiple athletes to that level and now executives. And as coaches ourselves, we realize a lot of this goes into reading that person and their personality and figuring out what they need at that moment to succeed.

28:45Michael, although many love to compare Michael to Kobe, they had different personalities. It sounded like Michael was more trusting of you. Kobe was, I want to know why. I need to push back and figure out what's going on here. And then you have Dwayne, who's just a lot more laid back and fun, totally different personality. And you were able to get all three to that level repeatedly. What is it in you that has allowed you to learn to read people and find out how to get to what ticks and helps motivate them so effectively? AJ, I'm glad you asked that question because no one's ever asked me that question before.

29:20So one of my biggest flaws that everybody says is a flaw of mine is I stare. Like I'm like Lily, I have this habit of just staring, but that's the way I learn. That's the way I learn. Like if I'm focused in on that person or that activity or whatever's going on, I have no idea what's going on around me. not a clue. So what I did was I watched these individuals. I was like so laser focused to watch their personalities, watch their movement patterns, watch how they handle stuff with their family. What kind of, you know, when their kids would come around, what kind of expression they would have. If a teammate missed a shot, were they, everybody knew how Michael would handle a teammate making a mistake, but you know, that wasn't going to be how everybody else did.

30:09So it's just like being able to study human behavior and see it repeatedly over and over and over again. And I would always get this comment from these individuals that say, man, what the hell are you looking at? I was like, just go do what you got to do. Just leave me alone. Let me focus in on what I'm doing. And it makes a lot of people nervous. So what I like to say is everybody who's done something extraordinary, we all try to hide our flaws, our differences and all that other stuff. But that's what allows you to win when other people can't. So the things that you, your flaws where everybody thinks it's an imperfection is actually one of your greatest gifts.

30:50It allows you to excel in areas that other individuals just can't. And I still have that habit of staring. I'll do it at a restaurant when I'll see somebody, they'll be like, hey, you stand, but I see something happening in that, at that table, or I see, I just, I'm trying to process what's going on with that person. No disrespect to them, but that's just, I can't change. I cannot change. And I don't want to change because my flaw has gotten me this far. It's gotten me this far and it's going to continue to get me where I want to go. Same thing with the CEOs. When I get in there, I watch their mannerism.

31:31I watch how they work. I watch how they handle staff. I watch what they eat for lunch. I see if they drink during the middle of season. Do they go play golf? What is their relaxation activity? When they greet somebody, what's their mannerisms of, you know, when they shake an individual's hand, is their hand over the top? Is it underneath? Is that a consistent basis? Where their eyes are, all the different things. And you have to see if they do those consistently over and over and over again. And if you do that, you get to really learn the mental makeup of an individual. And it's that observation that allows you to see when things are right and when they're not right.

32:10And it's going to be small details that can take them off their game. And you need to be perceptive to pick up on that. Exactly. So, you know, I watch a person's run or I've watched a person move and I'll be like, okay, this needs to be adjusted. This needs to go here. I used to have this thing where, you know, athletes sprain their ankles quite often when they play sports. So with my athletic background, we have different types of taping that we do for the ankle, depending on where the sprain is. Well, I'm just like, well, let's take this a step further. So if you can support it with tape, how about if we figure out different ways to lace a gym shoe that enhances that even more.

32:55So we used to literally have eight different ways to lace a gym shoe depending on what injury that individual had. So everybody is one way, but paying attention to those little details and be like, okay, hey, listen. And many times we would lace one shoe differently than the other because we had to have, one joint was more stiff and the other one was a little bit, the other one had a little, it had to be a little bit more lax because of an injury. So we were like, okay, we can't create the same stability in both shoes. We need to create one side that has to have more stability and we need to create the other side to balance things out, to have a little bit of instability.

33:35So paying attention to those details came through watching, through observing things that other people just didn't think were important. People always say, you know, don't sweat the small stuff. When you're winning, you got to sweat everything. You got to pay attention to every little thing. The one thing that you miss out on could be the most important detail in that particular moment. And I think that's why winning is so fleeting for so many, because we are okay with the ordinary. We are okay with get back up, dust yourself off. It's going to be okay mindset. You had an anecdote on another show around self-doubt and how these athletes themselves had self-doubt.

34:21And I know we've heard the Mamba mentality. We've seen the Jordan documentary and we think of these athletes as superhuman and not having insecurities, not having self-doubt, but they do. How did you coach them through those moments to get out the other side when many of us quit? Well, you know what? We all have, and I talk about this in the book, Winning, about winning wages of war in the battlefield of your mind. We all have our doubts that are going in our minds. We all have the stuff that can explode at any single time. You know, we all have to deal with anger. We all have to deal with fear.

34:55We all have to deal with anxiety. And those are bombs that bust all the time. So you have to know how to diffuse those things. You have to know what the triggers are that set those things off. And we all have them. Now, a lot of times those things are placed into our heads by somebody else that we allow to get into that space and they get to control the buttons. You know, I love how people always say, you know, you have to learn to push, you know, I want to learn how to push their buttons. You don't want anybody to ever push your buttons. If you allow that, that means they have total control over you.

35:31That, you know, if they want to say, oh, I want this person to be angry. I'm going to push that button. I want them to be happy. I'm going to push it. I want them to be frustrated. No, you pull your own buttons and you decide which ones you want to press at that particular time. So you understand how to diffuse whatever that battlefield is going on in your mind. And it's not always the negative things. All right. I know you guys hear this all the time. Oh, you work too hard. You work too much. All right. You guys should take a day off. All right. You need to unwind. I'm so uncomfortable when I'm unwound.

36:08I'm actually more comfortable when I'm wound up. that's actually more comfortable to me. There are ways that I like to unwind, but that's how I like to do it, not what somebody else wants me to do. People that win over and over again, people that have that mindset. And again, this isn't just about success and money. This is whatever you wanna do in life. It's raising your kids. It's the charitable organizations you're walking in. It's education, whatever it may be. Those individuals, they enjoy being, They enjoy being wound up. That feeling, it's good for them. It's like it's something that's necessary.

36:46When they're unwound, they're like, all right, how long has it been? I've been sitting here for 30 minutes and you look at your watch, man, it's been three minutes. I need something to do. I need something to do.

36:57Johnny Dzubak:A few years ago, we had the opportunity, the pleasure and honor to interview Kobe. He's been on this show. and one of the things that had come out was that he had put together the idea of the mamba mentality the black mama as a way to handle everything that was going on in his life and i'm going to speculate from this conversation perhaps there was too many people who had control over his buttons at that time and he created this alter ego to take that control back were you around for this inception? Was this part of your idea or can you speak to that identity shift and what the Black Mamba was able to accomplish?

37:39Yeah. So the one thing I want to say, everybody thinks of the Black Mamba as a mentality. And I was telling them, it's not a mentality. It's a lifestyle. It's a lifestyle. And I've seen more individuals who have tried to adopt this Mamba mentality lifestyle, And it's actually been more of a hindrance in their careers than it has been a success. Yeah, I guess, yeah. Yeah, but what he needed to do was, this was a time in his life that he was going through some personal stuff off the basketball court. And he came up with this idea through watching one of the Kill Bill movies. And I talk about this in the book, how this all thing came off.

38:20Because in one of the Kill Bill movies, one of the characters is the Black Mama. You know, if Kobe's going to name himself, he's not going to name himself after a garden snake. He's going to name himself after like the most venomous snake out there. It became his alter ego where it was just like, here, when I step between these lines, whatever's going on outside, it doesn't matter. It's still going to be here because I still have an obligation to perform at the highest level. not only to myself, but to my teammates, to the organization, the people that are sitting watching TV, the people that paid lots of money to watch the game.

39:00So he was like, I have an obligation to perform at the highest level. And what was so significant about this is during those times, he actually played some of his best basketball because it allowed him to focus even more on his craft. He had to. He was able to block everything else out and say, this is the thing that matters the most. And I'm going to do this at the highest level possible. We all have distractions in our life. I have this thing. Everybody is going through something that no one knows nothing about. I don't care who you are, how successful you are, what individual you are, how much money you have, everybody's going through something.

39:49Just because you're a great athlete or you're a highly successful business person, it doesn't mean you don't have relationship problems. It doesn't mean you don't have personal issues. It doesn't mean that your children are going to be perfect. But Instagram, everybody likes to portray the perfection that's out there. And I always tell individuals that you have to be real with yourself. And one of the tests that I do with the individuals, and I came up with it, you know, well, Kobe came up with the mama mentality idea. We kind of harnessed it to what it became was, I do this test now when I do a lot of my speaking.

40:29I always say, everyone pull out your cell phone. And everyone pulls out their cell phone. I said, look at your profile picture on one of your social media pages, whether it be Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, TikTok, whatever, whatever it may be. And everybody pulls out the picture. And I said, none of you look that good. None of you look that good. Not a single person in this room looks that good. All right. But then I just, everybody laughed. And I said, the reason I'm making this point is if you're constantly living your life through filters on this little phone platform, be careful it doesn't transfer into your real life.

41:09Be very, very careful because you start to believe that. You start to believe that image. You start to believe that idea of perfection. You start to believe that fake individual that's in here. And the mama mentality became who Kobe really, really was. He was that same way when he played basketball, when he had business meetings, when he practiced, no matter what he did. Later on in his career, obviously he opened up a little bit more. You got to see the softer individual inside of him. But he was still an extremely competitive person. The mama mentality didn't stop on the basketball court even when he retired.

41:52Won an Oscar, wrote award-winning children's books. Who knows what was next? Lily had his daughter practicing for three hours a day on defense, not on offense, on defense.

42:07Johnny Dzubak:Everything that you just said there about Kobe, especially maybe softening up a bit as he got older, but that competitiveness was still there. And I thought it was, it came right through when we met him. I mean, he was serious as a heart attack, incredibly focused, gracious to come on the show and talk with us. But there was something going on there that you could see it and you could feel it. Yeah, that's a key point that you just said, Johnny. Not only can you see it, you can feel it. Individuals like Kobe had the ability to, he could literally look at you and you could feel something. That was like, he could touch you with his eyes.

42:50You're like, all right, there's something going on. He's trying to pierce right through me. He's just like, you know, they used to call it that, you know, that glare that you used to give, you know, that death stare when he would just kind of pierce. And believe me, I was on the receiving end of that death stare quite often. Johnny, real talk. Upwork is the reason we've been able to grow the way we have.

43:15Johnny Dzubak:100%. Website, SEO, marketing consulting. We found specialists for all of it. The results blew us away. Here's the thing nobody tells you. The fastest growing businesses aren't doing more. They're delegating smarter. You don't have to hire full-time to get world-class help. Upwork lets you find, hire, and pay expert freelancers across over 125 categories. Web development, data, marketing, business ops. It's all there. You browse profiles, see their past work, and get matched fast. Business Plus gets you the top 1 % of talent. with AI-powered shortlisting, finding your person in under six hours.

43:52Johnny Dzubak:Contracts, payments, handled all in one place. You stay focused on the business. We've used it and it works. In fact, our most recent project, we did an SEO audit. We've had our website for almost 20 years and we had no idea how AI was searching our site. We worked with an Upwork specialist to get our results fast. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That's Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K.com, Upwork.com. AJ, what's the one thing every adult wishes they could get back from being a kid? Easy, freedom, no obligations. No one taking your money every month for something you barely use.

44:34Johnny Dzubak:Mint Mobile just made that real. All plans,$15 a month right now, even unlimited. I couldn't believe how easy it was. Bring your own phone, keep your number, sign up online in minutes. You're on the T-Mobile 5G network. We're talking high-speed data, unlimited talk, and text. The only thing that changes is how much you're paying. Choose three, six, or 12 months and kill the monthly bill for good. Big Wireless has been overcharging you for years. This is the move. To get your new wireless plan for just$15 a month, go to mintmobile.com. That's mintmobile.com. Cut your wireless bill to$15 a month at mintmobile.com.

45:13That's it. There's no catch.

45:14Johnny Dzubak:Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot. Capable device required. Availability speed and coverage varies. See mintmobile.com. Now you bring up a good point around focus, and it's brought up in the book a lot around in order to get to a level of winning, you have to maintain incredible laser-like focus. Yes. We live in a time of distraction. And everyone talks about time management, unwinding, balance.

45:57None of these athletes that you work with are talking about any of those things. No. So how do we get to that laser-like level of focus with all of these distractions? And what is your perspective on time management? because I've heard it and I want our audience to hear it because I really agree with it wholeheartedly. You know, we have all these cliches out here that everybody uses as motivation, all right? And I actually think instead of them motivating individuals, it actually takes them a step back because it kind of makes you more comfortable. And at some point, you got to get beyond motivation.

46:33To me, motivation is entry level. It really, really is, all right? You got to learn to elevate yourself. You got to elevate your craft. And that comes from knowing stuff that's inside of you. And one of the things I've worked with all my athletes, all my business clients, everything, I was like, listen, I don't want you to manage time. Because everybody tells you to manage time, manage time, manage time. I said, I want you to manage focus. There's a huge difference between the two. Because when you're managing time, you never have enough time. But when you manage focus, you always have enough time to get what you're supposed to do.

47:12And what's the first thing you have to do when you have to start managing focus versus managing time? You got to eliminate the unessentials. Now, I'm not saying you have to be laser focused all the time. Even a laser needs to be turned off. Otherwise, it's going to overheat. All right. Yes. Yeah. So, but the ability to go from being focused, unfocused and being focused again, it's to me, it's actually something you can work on. It's something that you can, you can adjust in your craft. So I tell these individuals, let's work on managing focus. Let's not worry about managing time. Because when you manage time, you're never going to do the things at its ultimate level.

47:55Think about an individual like that's constantly look when they have a bunch of stuff to do and they're constantly looking at their watches or their times or whatever. They're constantly looking at their phone. They'll get all the things done or majority of the things done, but they'll be all done to average. Now, when you manage that focus, a set of that time, you get everything you need to get done. It's done to its highest ability and it's done so, so well because you have the ability to block out the distractions. Listen, I take a break from time to time. I get into this zone. I get into this focus thing.

48:31I enjoy a good puppy rescue video and a cat video just like anybody else does. All right. But does that 30 seconds turn into 30 minutes? People always think that what causes complacency? And, you know, everybody likes it. Well, just look at yourself. You cause complacency. You literally cause complacency. So you have to have the ability to say, hey, listen, everybody manage focus. Don't manage time. And then the other thing about balance, oh, man, this one gets me. This one really, really gets me. All right, because there's so many books out there, and there's so many individuals that speak about balance.

49:15And it's funny. They'll tell you you need more balance in their life, and this is after they've accomplished almost everything that they wanted to do. They're extremely successful. They're financially well off. The family's everything good. But they don't want to talk about the time, what they had to, how their lives were unbalanced in order to get to that thing. You do not find balance. That is totally incorrect. You have to create balance. And when you create balance, it's different for every single individual. What happens when you tell a person they need more balance in their life? They start to add more.

49:51They start to add. And now you're trying to balance even more things. You're trying to balance this. You're trying to balance this. And now you're more out of balance. Well, how do you get more focused? You eliminate the unessentials. So how do you become more balanced? You eliminate the unessentials. And we all have unessentials. The issue is we don't like to delete. We like to add, add, add. Every phone, every computer, it has a save button. It has a delete button. All right. We know how to use the save button. Very few people know how to use the delete button. So in order to have more time, in order to get closer to balance, it's about the subtraction.

50:37It's not about the addition. And the one thing I always tell people is you don't want the scale totally imbalanced, but you have to decide how you're going to weigh this thing. And this thing I talk about also in the book is I ask this question. I'll be like, all right, who wants zero happiness? You know, obviously nobody raises their hand. I said, who wants zero success? Nobody raises their hands. You know, I said, who wants a zero life? Nobody raises their hand. I said, who wants zero money? Nobody raises their hand. Well, I said, well, what's the number on a perfectly balanced scale? It's a zero.

51:13It's an absolute zero. So if you're trying to balance all those things, you may have all those things, but you're going to have them at the lowest, lowest level. And that's not what life is about. You have to know, listen, this is what's important to me right now and have that support system that you have next to you with your family, with your friends, whatever that may be, and be like, I respect where this person is right now. I understand. I understand. That balance is the cherry on top. It's not the pursuit. Yes, yes. And even that cherry on the top. Have you ever seen a perfectly balanced round cherry?

51:52The stem is always curled one way and thing is all. So it's never perfect. It's never perfect.

51:59Johnny Dzubak:I don't know where this idea of balance came from. And I will tell you with our clients in our X Factor program, every time a new guy comes in, the first thing they're talking about is, I need to organize my life and get some balance there. And I'm like, well, what does that even mean to you? Right. And they can't define it because what they define is - Someone else is giving it to them. Yeah. I usually hear when they define it, happiness or tranquility or serenity or just easy back. And it's like, you're not going to have that until you start subtracting the things in your life that are making your life unbalanced.

52:39Right. And it's funny when you bring up that question to them, John, I know they say, well, I want more. I want more. I want more. It's always, I want more, more, more, more. Well, if you want more of something, you got to give away, you got to get rid of some stuff. You got to get rid of your stuff. There's only so much stuff you can put in that room before it starts to overflow. You know, there's almost so much room that you have in a closet before your clothes start to be on top of each other. In order to keep everything neat, to keep everything balanced, to keep everything clear, you got to get rid of some stuff.

53:14You got to get rid of some stuff, but it's so difficult. A lot of stuff. Yeah, but it's so difficult for people to delete. It's so, listen, we all have this. Everyone including myself, we all have clothes in our closets or shoes or something that we're never going to wear again. We got no chance. They're never coming back in style. I'm not going to have that same waistline I had when I was 30 years younger, but we keep it because it's got that designer label and we look at it one day. No, that one day is a no day. It's not happening. Get rid of it.

53:50Johnny Dzubak:I've been harping on mainstream television movies and entertainment for quite some time. In fact, I call it junk food media because it's empty calories. It's like a McDonald's cheeseburger when you're hungry. It'll fill you up, but there's no ROI. There's no nutrition there. And one of the conversations that I've been seeing with my regular friends, I'll call them normies who are not in a self-development or actualization, they're coming to this conclusion that they're watching more things on the internet than they are. They're all getting tired of the same old storylines and bad television and whatnot.

54:26Johnny Dzubak:And I see these questions of, hey, I've been thinking about getting rid of cable. I'm like, get rid of your television. and I'm seeing more and more people go in this way. I had came to that decision a while. In fact, that same idea of subtraction has even entered into my diet. It's like, what are the necessities? Where do I, what allows me to work and function and be my best, sharpest mentally, physically, emotionally? And let's just go there and let's just do that. And I will tell you that world and process of subtraction has made things more interesting, more focused. Even when it comes to entertainment, I'm not scrolling through endless crappy movies to see which one will pique my interest today.

55:19Johnny Dzubak:It's like, no, I'm going to go and put a yoga video on and I'm going to stretch because I know the ROI from that is going to be way more avid changes to me than watching a Netflix series or whatever else might come down the line. So Johnny, it's interesting that you say that. People always ask me, hey, did you watch so-and-so? I'll be like, I have no clue what you're talking about. I may catch a glimpse of it or I hear a conversation from somebody else. Or, you know, I have people that like, they literally, they binge watch years and years of the show or like, yes, or it's like every Thursday at seven o 'clock, I don't care what else is happening.

55:59I have to watch this. So the next day they can talk about it in the chat rooms or whatever it is. I don't even know what these people do yet. Yeah. I'm just like, what are you doing? I don't know. It's not that important to me. It's not that important to my self-growth. It's not that important for me to be able to have the ability to pass my knowledge on to somebody else. Somebody will ask me, hey, did you watch so-and-so? I'll be like, no, I didn't. And I'm sorry, I didn't. End of conversation. A piece of mainstream advice is to not be selfish. And what I get from the book and listening to other shows is - Why did I knew you were going to go there?

56:45The role of selfishness in winning. And it's something that obviously, when you look at all of these people and the sacrifices they make in their lives and the understanding of their values and their own personal goals in the pursuit of them, there's no question there's selfishness involved. Of course, they want to bring everyone else along with them, but they're doing it for them. They're not doing it for someone else. Yes. And you know, it's fun. The word selfish literally has self in it. It's selfish. When did taking care of yourself become a bad thing? I've never understood that. All right.

57:21When did that happen? All right. You know, and in order to separate yourself from others, in order to have more power, to have more freedom, to have new levels of self, winning requires that. It's funny. So we just put fancy names on the word selfish. We like to call it like me time or boys night out or girls night out or man cave. That's all being selfish. So you tell somebody, hey, listen, from two to three, I meditate. I meditate. Everybody says, oh, that's so good for your health. Everybody needs to do more of that. Everybody needs to spend time by themselves. And then you're like, you tell somebody else, hey, between two and three, my phone is off.

58:06Don't talk to me. Don't bother me. I don't want to hear from anybody else. Now, all of a sudden, you're selfish. Well, what's the difference? What exactly? One just had a nice word to it. We do so many things for ourselves. Is working out selfish? Is eating better selfish? Is resting selfish? We do so many things. And the more you take care of yourself, the more you'll be able to take care of others. But if you don't care of yourself, you're not going to be able to take care of others. You look at all the most successful people that run businesses and so forth. They take care of themselves so they have more to give to the others.

58:48Now, if you just take care of yourself and you just take, take, and take, that's a completely different type of selfish. But the winning kind of selfish is you win and everybody that's close to you, everybody else you want to win, they win also.

59:06Johnny Dzubak:Well, this brings up an interesting point then, Tim, because with such demanding clients, you certainly had to set up boundaries to take care of yourself, dealing with their relentlessness and their selfish needs to be always better and to give them as much time as you did to be able to develop them. How did you set up those boundaries? Well, one thing about working with these athletes, you have a schedule. You know what time practice is. You know what time the games are. You know where they're going to leave. So whatever you want to be selfish is, You got to fit it in between those times and be like, hey, this time is for me.

59:53It's for my time for me to get better so I can perform better around these individuals. I have the ability to give back. And it's funny, a lot of those times, my selfishness was just taking a nap because I had to be on call all the time. And it's funny now, it's become like, everyone talks like sleep deprivation is like this secret formula to success. Like you can't have sleep. You know what? Your body needs to recover. Your mind needs to recover. People always ask me, well, what's the best time to work out? I heard working out early in the morning is the best time to work out. I said, you know what the best time to work out is?

1:00:33When you can work out. That's the best time to work out. Because the advantages of doing something way early in the morning versus doing it in the afternoon are so small that it's not going to make a difference to you. And plus, if you can give more effort in your workout and more focus in the afternoon, you're going to get more results than if you did it in the morning. Winning wants you to figure out what's your formula, what's the best way for you to do it. How many people you know that you got to get up before the sun? and they get up before the sun and they've done absolutely nothing. And by the time 10 o 'clock rolls around, they're ready for a nap.

1:01:11If you don't function early in the morning, don't do it. Those people are the ones that we talk about. They are trying to manage time instead of managing focus. Well, what jumps out at me is in order to win, you have to understand yourself at a deep level. You have to be honest and reckon with yourself. This book is not seven steps to winning. it's not a four-step process or formula that is cookie cutter for everyone you handled jordan and kobe and duane all differently because they understood themselves and their needs and then you push them beyond to get to that greater level yeah so many of us are walking around not even willing to reckon with who we are understand ourselves to listen to our own body to listen to what's going on inside of us we're looking for the answers outside of us we're looking for someone else to copy or some other formula to follow or some shortcut.

1:02:04And the book is not about shortcuts. It's about understanding yourself at a level and getting into the motivation beyond just showing up, beyond just doing it again, and understanding that in order to really win, there are sacrifices involved. There is no shortcut to be had to winning. No. Yeah. When you make sacrifices, you're going to upset people. You really are going to upset people. And the reason myself and my co-author, Sherry Wank, were writing this book, it was funny. Everybody was telling us, you know, the most successful books that are out there are the ones that give you steps that tell you five steps to this, 10 steps to that.

1:02:45And I'm like, well, we're not putting steps in this book because to me, those steps are infinite. Those steps are infinite and they're constantly changing. There is no easy steps to success. Those steps are constantly moving. They're constantly changing. Sometimes they disappear right underneath our feet, but we have to know that they are there. We have to trust that there is a next step and you can't always climb those steps. Sometimes you gotta demand. Sometimes you just gotta sit down and take a breath. Sometimes you gotta crawl up those steps. You gotta run, you gotta hop. whatever it takes.

1:03:25And it's funny, once you get to that top step and you look back down and you realize you're still on that first step and you look back up there. So those steps never, never change. Just like I said, you know, for yourself and for me, once this podcast is over with, you got to those steps and now your next guest or your next podcast, those steps are constantly infinite. They constantly keep going. And think about with all the technology that's going on, all the steps that you may miss. This person's microphone is not working. This person's Zoom, the internet is bad. People don't plan for those steps.

1:04:06Your life is that way. No one planned for the pandemic. That was a step no one saw coming. All right? That was something that no one saw coming. If you lived your life based on steps, by the time the book was published, it'd be a new set of steps. Yes. Everything is evolving and changing. By the time they hit print, those steps would be irrelevant. So if you're looking to just follow someone else's path, I'm just going to be Michael Jordan. I'm just going to be Kobe. I'm just going to be this executive I look up to, Elon Musk, whoever it may be. The steps that they took are different than the steps that you have to take.

1:04:40Exactly. Those steps were relevant to them. It's not relevant to you. Yes. And winning has no loyalty to any of us. You know, individuals, you can work hard. That doesn't guarantee you success. You can be the most qualified for an individual. It doesn't mean you're going to have, you're going to get that job. You can put out the best content. It doesn't mean you're going to be the highest rated podcast. And then you listen to the higher rated podcast and you're like, really? You're like, okay. You know, it works for them. So there are no steps. There are no guarantees winning. It doesn't care.

1:05:17It doesn't care. You have to figure it out. And the key word is, you know, what Johnny and what AJ, what you both said, it's you. It's about understanding yourself. You spend so much time understanding everybody else. You spend so much time understanding a TV series or understanding what's going on or understanding a plot that's happening in there. Well, so what happens is you start to write everybody else's story and you forget that you have the ability to write and change your own story. And that's what winning wants you to do. Well, as a Pistons fan, I'm pretty bummed that you taught Jordan how to guard his buttons.

1:05:54I was enjoying the bad boy button pushing days, if I say so myself. We love to ask every guest what their X factor is. What is that skillset and mindset combination that makes you unique and successful? Understanding yourself, what do you think that is for you? I have a muscle that I flex quite often that a lot of people don't. And it's the IDGAF muscle. Mine is extremely, extremely strong. It is extremely strong. And I've mastered the ability to say no without an explanation. You say no to something, no is final. If you have to give an explanation to it, that means you have some self-doubt to it.

1:06:38So I've really, really learned to flex that muscle. I've practiced it. I know when to use it, how to use it. And I use it quite often, which allows me to have clarity, which I need in my life, in my profession, in order to pursue the things that are important to me, which indirectly will be important to the people that surround me that helped me get to this place. Well, thank you for saying yes to getting on this show with us. We really appreciate it. And these great lessons around winning, definitely grab the book, Winning the Unforgiving Race to Greatness. Thank you so much, Tim. Thank you so much.

1:07:13This was an honor. Continued success to both of you.

1:07:27Johnny Dzubak:This week's shout out goes to our Facebook group member, Ryan Hernandez. That's right. Ryan struggling with imposter syndrome joined us on our Facebook live. We go live every Thursday in our Facebook community. So be like Ryan and join us at theartofcharm.com slash challenge and become a valuable member of our community. If you have questions from the show, you wanna learn more about me and Johnny, you can find us there each and every Thursday live, answering your questions and sharing tips, strategies to help you break through imposter syndrome, grow your confidence, master conversation, and connect with anybody.

1:08:02Before we go, could you do us and the entire team a huge favor? Pause this podcast and rate our show. You can do it on Spotify or in your Apple podcast app. It means the world to us and it helps us get amazing guests like Tim Grover. Until next week, I'm AJ. And I'm Johnny. Get out there and start winning. Yeah, I remember you. You were the bad boy. You threw your love away. Like it was just a toy. And you sold the world You sold the tragedy Cause you had your taste Of black on the yesterday Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you It was a bad day But I brought you away

1:09:19I'm not giving up. I am selling the building. The final season of FX's The Bear. The restaurant is flooded.

1:09:31Johnny Dzubak:Everything's either going to be okay. No, stop. Or not. We are outgunned and we are outmanned. We have each other. FX's The Bear, the final season. All episodes now streaming on Disney+. Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile. Now, I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited premium wireless for$15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made$15 bills. But it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three months,$90 for six months, or$180 for 12-month plan required.

1:10:12$15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. See terms.