Supercommunicators & The Secret Language of Connection | Charles Duhigg

23:57And if you work in an analytical field, which you are very comfortable being in your head, you have to learn how to be present. But all of the keys to be able to make these connections, you have in you. But if you spend all of this time in your head, those muscles aren't being used. And I think it also scares some of our clients because the transformation that they're going to be making into being better communicators is going into an uncomfortable place. because they're unable to work through things in their mind in order for all of the matching and synchronization to happen. The good news is what you're really talking about is you're saying we have this group of people who sometimes their habits have gotten rusty around communication.

24:53And the nice thing is our brains are actually designed specifically to make communication habits and to make them easier. If you think about it, communication is Homo sapiens' superpower. It is the reason our species has succeeded so well. It's the way we're able to form families and then villages and then nations. And as a result, our brain has evolved to be really, really good at communication. However, our brain evolved in a very different time, right, when we were on the planes. It was not a time when there was Twitter and there was Slack and there was emojis and there was that. So oftentimes we have forgotten how to listen to those instincts.

25:31And what super communicators do and what the book does is it says, look, here's a list of exercises you can do. And it's going to reawaken those instincts. It's going to reawaken those habits. Because once you get into the habit of asking deep questions, it's going to feel very, very natural. Like you're going to think back and be like, didn't I do this all the time? Like this is just how I am. Because our brain is designed to do that. Well, this is why I love it so much, because with some simple tools, they're going to see their communication skills skyrocket. And all they need is that guidance in order to use those tools to unlock that, because it's there, it's inside of them.

26:10But you brought up an interesting point. And this is the other thing that I was thinking about in reading the book that kept coming up, which is we're now finding ourselves going from a in real life to the virtual world and asynchronous communication and communication that is not guided on being present. We're now chatting with somebody who may be chatting with 500 people at the same time and thinking that there's an actual connection because they answered my chat. But at the same time with that, our communication in that virtual world is getting more and more prolonged. And what I'm seeing from earlier generations, I'm Gen X.

26:59So there is an AJ as a millennial and we're both seeing now that the zoomers, of course, are coming up with their own issues in communication due to being in the virtual world prolonged. And of course, you know, now I see the, all of the kids walking around with the goggles on and, and so we're going to have communication issues. Where it's not only are we trying to match and synchronize with each other, there's also grammatically things are changing due to being walled off into a world with its own communication, its own slang. And signals are missing when we look at nonverbal communication and some of the subtleties that go along with listening.

27:50And in those worlds, it speeds up the process of communication where it evolves into its own thing. That's exactly right. And I saw this very dramatically. One of the chapters in the book is about this experiment where they brought in a bunch of gun rights enthusiasts and a bunch of gun control activists. And they taught them basically some techniques for face-to-face communication. Most importantly, this thing called looping for understanding to prove that you're listening to each other. And it was fantastic. People walked away saying, I never thought I'd have a conversation like this with someone that I saw as an enemy.

28:23And then they set up a private Facebook group for them. And everyone goes on the Facebook group to start chatting, continue the conversation. And within 45 minutes, they're calling each other jackbooted Nazis. It was like immediate, right? And so there's an interesting question. What's going on there? Like why? And I'll say I'm Gen X too, and I love Gen X rules. Sorry, AJ. Millennials are great too. I have kids who are Zoomers, and so I see this with them. One of the things that's happening is that we tend to forget that different forms of communication have different rules. And it's particularly easy to forget that now.

29:00A favorite example of this is that about 100 years ago when telephones first became popular, there were all these studies saying no one will ever have a real conversation on the telephone because they can't see each other. And what was interesting is if you look at the transcripts of early telephone conversations, they were right. People would basically have these stilted, weird conversations. They didn't know how to do it. But now, of course, by the time you and I and AJ, by the time we were teenagers, we could talk for like seven hours a night on the phone. And it was the most meaningful conversations of our lives.

29:28That's because we learned the rules for phones are different from the rules for face-to-face. And in fact, even though you're not aware of it, when you're talking on the phone, you'll over-enunciate your words. You'll put more emotion into your voice because you know that the other person can't see you. The thing is, when we go online, the same thing happens, but sometimes we forget to do it. Telephones have different rules than speaking. Email has different rules than telephones. Texts have different rules than emails. Sending a snap with a bunch of emojis has a different rule than a text and a Slack and an X and a Y and a Z or a tweet.

30:03And oftentimes we're so busy, we're so overwhelmed that when we sit down to write that email, we forget to remind ourselves of what the rules for email are. And we say, oh, I can hear the sarcasm inside my head. And if I was speaking, you could hear the sarcasm. But when I type it out, I forget that you can't hear that sarcasm. And so you read it as being serious and suddenly you're upset. And what we find that super communicators do, particularly with the online education or communication, is that they just take half a second to say to themselves, I'm sending a text instead of an email. How is a text different?

30:35And once we start doing that, it becomes very automatic. And then we become like our kids and we learn how to do it just intuitively. And that's the thing. this communication, we've now quadrupled the forms of communication just in this conversation we've talked about here, sending photos with emojis and vision pros. But with that, the speed also loses what we have from the in-person communication where you're sitting down to coffee with a friend. You're slowing down, you're taking in all of the signals. Whereas Slack is fast, right? Text a couple emojis, let's move on to the next thing. We're multitasking.

31:12I would never go meet a friend for coffee and have my laptop open and my Slack and my phone digging and checking my Apple watch. Right. So we're, we're robbing ourselves of the ability to process all of the signals that are a big part of communication. And we hear from our clients, I want to be a better listener, AJ or Johnny. And I laugh because it's like, well, we already know you're a great listener. You listen to the podcast and now you're here on our doorstep. Like you tell me you listen to the podcast over and over and take notes on what we're sharing. And you tell me your favorite guests.

31:42So I know you're listening. You already have the skills to listen, but we're distracted, we're not paying attention in these key moments that super communicators slow down, recognize that those things get in the way of communication and become more present to be better listeners. And I think a really important aspect of that, I think that's really, really well put, is recognizing for ourself the difference between a conversation and not a conversation. There are some times, if I'm on Slack, I probably don't want to have a conversation. Sometimes I talk to my kids and I'm like, we need to have a conversation about cleaning your rooms.

32:14I don't actually want a conversation about cleaning. I just want them to go clean their damn rooms, right? So what's important, though, is that there are these times when we just want to transmit information. We just want to basically have this back and forth that's sort of like side-by-side monologues. But there are times when we want to have a conversation. And we have to remind ourselves that when I sit down at that meeting, it's not about me just transmitting information. It's about me getting to know this person and giving them space to get to know me. When I go to coffee with my friends, it's not about us getting caught up on every single thing in each other's life.

32:48It's about us having a real conversation, even if it's just on one topic. And reminding ourselves before we go into a discussion, this is a conversation versus this is something where we need to exchange information. That's really powerful. And that's something that super communicators do. And it becomes a habit. Well, one point before we get into what you've learned in the research for this book is 30 years ago, maybe getting together with somebody for coffee would be more indiscriminate. It's like, oh, I need to get out of the house. You're going to go out. Oh, let's meet up for some coffee.

33:20where now it's, you have better earned my time for that coffee date. And perhaps the conversation is something that we need to have in person and not over Twitter. Or we have earned each other's trust enough where it's like, you know what? You're pretty cool. We should hang out face-to-face and solidify this relationship. And it's really important that we do that. If you think about just even 50 years ago, most Americans, they belong to a church. They might belong to a rotary club. They had their bowling league. We saw people all the time, and we talked to them. And now, I can sit in my house and basically not talk to anyone besides my family for a week if I want to, without anyone noticing.

34:08But the problem is that when we are doing that, when we're not investing in relationships, we're robbing ourselves of something. The best example of this is this thing called the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which has been going on for 100 years now. They followed thousands of people around and trying to figure out what makes them healthy and successful and happy as they get older. You guys know this study. Yeah, we had Dr. Waldinger on. Oh, great. So, yeah. So, the big takeaway is there's really only one thing that matters, which is your health, your happiness, and your success at age 65 is entirely dependent on having at least a handful of close relationships at age 45.

34:43Which, of course, means you've had those relationships for longer than just the last year, right? Right? And it's because connections with other people, you don't have to have a ton of them, but you have to have people that you have a real connection with and you have to create time and space to nurture that connection. I have a friend, I have not seen this guy, he's one of my closest friends, I haven't seen him in three years. We probably talk on the phone like every five or six months. So it's not like we spend a lot of time, but I make time for that phone call. I set aside two and a half hours to talk to him on the phone and we have a real conversation and I feel so connected to him.

35:17I know that he has got my back and I've got his. If you don't create that time to make a relationship, to make a connection, you're robbing yourself of something really, really valuable. And you mentioned this earlier, you are each other's super communicators. So what that Harvard study is saying is that find your other super communicator. Maybe you have a different style of communication and you bring up in the book the story behind the Big Bang Theory. And we look at this group of friends who is terrible on the emotional intelligence front, but they communicate and they're each other's super communicators around physics and science and how they see the world.

35:54So I think a lot of times we get a little too caught up in having everyone like us and being everyone's super communicator and not enough time and energy spent with doubling down on the people that we're close to being super communicators with, that as Johnny said, have that same background, have that feeling that we wanna spend more time with them instead of chasing all the connections that social media tells us are important, collecting those numbers and likes and followers, et cetera. And there's another aspect to that as well. And this is something that we see from our clients time and time again, which is they become isolated.

36:31And maybe the one super communicator that they do have in their wife is their significant other. However, there's still the dynamic of man and woman, husband and wife, head of household and matriarch of the household. And that dynamic has to play out or the relationship begins to teeter and wane and dilute itself. So you're going to need that super communicator outside of that. So the relationship can remain intact and be strong as it needs to be for everything else that goes on. And AJ and I hear it all the time where people had gotten isolated. They hadn't done much since things had opened back up because they had gotten comfortable or maybe they're – well, yeah, they had just – they'd gotten content in that lifestyle and then have recognized all of a sudden that their marriage is in trouble and it's been rocky where it never was in the past because there was those outlets.

37:37If your partner is also your shrink, you're in trouble, right? Exactly. And that also indicates why we need different kinds of super communicators in our life. Like I need, I need, when there's some things I discuss with my wife that I don't want to discuss with anything else. But when I want to talk about politics, I call my friend Greg. When I want to talk about business, I call my friend Donnan. When I want to talk about sports, I have like a thousand different people I could call, right? Depending on who's up and who's down in the leagues. But the point being that the reason why each of those relationships work is because we actually want to connect with each other.

38:12We show we want to connect with each other. And more importantly, we ask each other questions. We prove that we're listening. And that's really, really important. You had mentioned before sort of this example of this experiment with these gun advocates and these gun control folks. and the thing that made the big difference face to face was this technique called looping for understanding and it's built on this theory that we've been talking about fun conversations but sometimes we have tough conversations right sometimes we go in and we just know like i'm not looking forward to this because i disagree with this person or i have to sit next to my uncle at thanksgiving and so we get anxious about it and in those conversations what happens is in our head and their head there's this little suspicion that this other person isn't listening to me, they're just waiting their turn to speak.

39:02Whether we want it there or not, it's there. So what we have to do is we have to overcome that. We have to prove that that's not right. And the way to do that is looping for understanding. It has three steps. Number one, ask a question, preferably a deep question. Number two, repeat back in your own words what you just heard the person say to show them that you've been processing it. And step number three, and this is the one people usually forget, ask if you got it right. and when you do that, you prove to that other person, I am listening to you, but you also hack your own brain. Because sometimes we want to listen and we just get too inside our heads, as Johnny just said.

39:37You say something and I start coming up with counter arguments in my head and suddenly three minutes have passed and I don't know what you're... But if my assignment for this conversation is to be able to repeat back to you what you're saying, I'm hacking my own brain to pay close attention to you and to put those other voices out of the way. There's another interesting point to that as well with more of a question of sometimes I will ask people to define a word that they are using to make sure that we both understand that word on the same page. Due to being walled off in all these different communities, communities use words differently.

40:17And a better way of understanding people is if I hear one of those buzzwords, like, hey, I know that you just used this word. I have a working definition or we use it in-house as well. I just want to make sure that we're on the same page as we move further in this conversation. Can you let me know how you are using it? I'm sure they appreciate that so much, right? Because you're exactly right. But we fall into these, the point of language is to communicate, is to communicate what we're really trying to say. So there is no right or wrong definition of a word. There's what the word means to me and can I get, and hopefully it means the same thing to you.

40:52And think about some of the phrases like DEI or far right or MAGA. Like those mean so many different things to so many different people. And if you just throw it into a conversation without sort of saying like, look, here's what I'm actually talking about. because once I usually say, here's what I'm actually talking about, usually we get aligned. Usually we can connect. But if I throw in some catchphrase, then the person on the other side is thinking like, oh, he's one of those people. Right, social identity becomes part of the conversation. And now we're juggling different social identities. And if we might be using language from a certain social identity that the other person doesn't fully understand or sees it in a different manner, well, then we're actually having a disconnect that's going to lead to distrust and not the whole point of communication, which is trying to build and foster that connection.

41:41That's exactly right, which doesn't mean we have to have the same social identities to connect. In fact, what we know is when we're having a social conversation, when we're talking about how we relate to society, how our backgrounds influence us, oftentimes the most important thing to do is to acknowledge our differences. But it's not to acknowledge just one difference. if I start a conversation I say well you're black and I'm white so we probably see policing differently then what I've done is I've shoved you into this stereotype and I've shoved myself into a stereotype but on the other hand what's true is that every single one of us has many identities right we contain a multitude of identities and if I say to someone look I'm wondering as a father you probably feel strongly about policing but I know you're also a lawyer and that probably gives you a different perspective on it and and you're a black man and that probably means you have different experiences with cops than I do.

42:31And I know that you mentioned that you had an uncle once removed who got arrested once. Given all those different hats that you wear, how do you think about policing? At that point, what I've done is I've acknowledged all the differences between us. I've brought them on the table, but I've made it so that these are not oppressive identities. These are rather an opportunity for me to bring my full self to the conversation, to invite you to bring the full self to the conversation. And so when an identity comes up, what's important is don't just make it one identity, make it multiple identities. And I think that opportunity to clarify is also so important, right?

43:11If we default to internal stereotypes and our internal picture of that identity, and we're then communicating based off how the other person across from us appears or acts, with ever clarifying, is this identity really how you experience things that is even an important identity to you. Because there are situations where people grew up in completely different neighborhoods, where their experience of what you think their social identity is, has nothing to do with actually how they experience the world. So by acknowledging it, we're giving an opportunity to actually clarify. That's exactly right.

43:43That's exactly right. And it's really powerful. And we're certainly multifaceted, right? The identity that I might be public facing, is one facet of a multifaceted identity that you're only seeing one glimpse of. Yeah. And when we only see that one glimpse, that's when we fall into stereotypes. Like, Johnny, you're a musician. You're a business person. You're a podcast host. You're probably a sibling, right? You're a child to your parents. You probably have a partner who you bring a lot of nurturing and sustenance to. All of those are who you are. And if I just say, oh, Johnny, as a white guy, what do you think about this?

44:26It doesn't give you a chance to bring your full self. And it makes you feel like I've unfairly niched you into a stereotype that doesn't really apply. And why would I want to speak for all white people? Exactly. I know, I'll do my best. That's a large task. It's a large task. I don't want to upset anybody. I'll do my best. Now, we started this conversation with you being vulnerable and sharing communication with your wife and how you're having two entirely different types of conversations, and that was leading to miscommunication. I'm curious, after researching the book, talking to all of these researchers and professors around communication, how do you now suss out or what do you use to actually realize and recognize, oh, I'm having this type of the three types of conversations?

45:11So the first thing that I do is I just ask questions, hopefully deep questions. Like taking me and my wife. Now when we start that conversation, she or I will very often say, look, do you want me to help you solve this problem or do you just need to vent and get this off your chest and you just want me to listen? And actually in schools, they teach teachers to do this. They teach them that if a student comes up and they're upset to ask them, do you want to be helped? Do you want to be heard? Or do you want to be hugged? And then, of course, is the three kinds of conversations, the practical, the emotional, and the social.

45:44And the reason why that's really powerful is because we often like being asked what kind of conversation we want. Or I just ask another deep question, like, tell me what you make of that. Like, it seems like, to my kids, it seems like you're really proud of that art piece you did. Tell me why you're proud about it. Like, what did you like about it? And they're going to tell you what kind of conversation they want, whether this is an emotional conversation or a practical conversation. You're going to know right away if you listen for it. But then the next thing that is important and the thing that I've tried to bake into my own life is this looping for understanding, proving to the other person that I'm actually listening to them.

46:20And sometimes you can do that just through it. Sometimes it's like, hey, what I hear you saying is, and tell me if I'm getting this wrong. And sometimes it's just asking a follow-up question, a follow-up question that clearly shows I was paying attention to what you were just telling me, and I want to draw on that. that those two things asking deep questions proving that you're listening they're really powerful and what happens is that when we use those techniques the other person wants to listen to us more as well so it's not about us giving up our agency in this conversation it's not about us like not being able to say what we believe and what we think or even trying to be influential but it's about setting the stage that both of us know that we want to listen to each other and evidence that we want to connect.

47:06And I know for myself and the way I was raised, emotions were seen in almost a negative light as a guy. Hide those emotions, why are you crying, be more in my dad's definition of masculine around showcasing my emotions, recognizing other people's emotions. And I've talked to many of our listeners and our participants, our clients, and they feel very similarly in their experience. So what I've recognized in the men's work that I do, that there's a broader range of emotions. And it can be difficult at first if you aren't really used to sharing your emotions to really describe them and understand them.

47:42And then even harder to pick them up in other people. So when we talk about the emotional conversation and the communication around recognizing these emotions, how do you build out that skillset to be more comfortable, to actually express the vulnerability of saying, hey, Charles, I feel like you're saying this, or I feel like this is the emotion that I'm recognizing in you. So it's a really, really good question. And the truth is that oftentimes we have habits, right? It's not that men are less emotional than women. It's that men are much more comfortable with a certain kind of conversation in general, according to studies.

48:19And they fall back on those habits. So I might have something emotional I want to talk about, but I'm going to talk about it as if it's a practical topic. Because my habit, I'm much more comfortable talking about practical things. That doesn't mean the emotions aren't there. So how do we bring those out, particularly if we don't want to have big kumbaya circles and really cry on each other's shoulder? You don't have to do any of that. You don't even have to talk about emotions when you're having an emotional conversation. It can be as simple as seeing that someone else is laughing and laughing with them.

48:47In fact, in the book, there's a story about how NASA changed how they were looking for astronauts because they needed to find astronauts with more emotional intelligence for longer missions in space. The problem was that astronauts, by the time they get to the final round of interviews, they're really good at faking emotional intelligence. It's really hard to tell who actually has it. So one of the interviewers, the psychologist, he started doing his interviews where he'd walk into the room and he would spill all these papers all over the floor as if it was by an accident. and then he would laugh like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, this big laugh.

49:18And then he would pay attention to how the candidate laughed back. Because some people, they know that they're supposed to laugh along with him. So they'd go like, ha, ha, that's funny, yeah. And then some people, some people would match him and they would go, ha, ha, let me help you pick up those papers. This is crazy. The people who matched him, they were showing him that they wanted to understand what he was thinking and feeling. And we can do the same thing with our friends. When we're in a conversation and someone says, man, I went to see my son's graduation and I was so proud, that's an emotional conversation.

49:50Asking him, what did it feel like to watch your son walk across that stage? You're engaging him on an emotional level. You don't have to say, I cried when I saw my kid graduate. Emotions aren't about negative, hard, big things. Emotions are just about acknowledging that sometimes we feel things. And if we're talking about the budget, for instance, which seems like the most practical thing on earth, saying, look, asking a deep question, saying, what are you worried about when we're discussing this budget? You're going to hear people say things like, actually, I think the budget's fine. I'm just anxious because if it doesn't work, I'm going to have to lay people off.

50:26And that's going to be awful. I'm not asking him, how do you feel? I'm not asking him to bear his soul. I'm asking, what does this mean to you? And they're telling me, this is a practical conversation. but there's also an emotional element to it. And we need to put that on the table too. It's such an important clarification for those of us who default to the practical conversation in almost every context. And the last piece that I just want to discuss from the book that I thought was really helpful for our audience members is this idea of preparing for conversation and how a little bit of upfront preparation can actually impact small talk, interviews, your ability to connect with friends, and even have difficult conversations.

51:07I know for a lot of our listeners, they're probably in a place, being growth-minded, that they prepare for speeches or for really difficult conversations that they know ahead of time. But preparation really goes a long way, and super communicators leverage it to their advantage. So what's a quick guide that our audience can use to better prepare themselves for conversations? And what's fascinating is when we talk about preparation, we're talking about seven to ten seconds of work. So there was this experiment that was done at this investment bank where this was a place where people screamed at each other all day long.

51:39There were fights constantly. And these researchers came in and they said, for the next week, what we want you to do is before every single meeting, everyone needs to write down just one sentence on an index card. Write down what you hope to accomplish in this meeting and what mood you hope to establish. And so people would take this and it literally took seven seconds. People would just scribble something down, they'd shove it in their pocket, then they'd go into the meeting. Nobody ever told anyone else what they had written. Nobody ever said, like, well, I want us all to be happy. But the incidence of conflict went down by 80 % that week in those meetings.

52:14And it's because people knew for themselves what they wanted to get across and what their aspiration was for how this meeting is going to go. Think about how often we walk into a meeting and we haven't spent that seven seconds writing a sentence. We walk into a meeting and we're like, I'm not sure what I want out of this. I'm going to let other people set the tone. If we just take a second and we're like, look, here's the thing I'd like to come out of this with. I want to know what the questions are we need to address. And I know that this is a tense time, but I want everyone to remember that we're on the same team.

52:44If you just take four to seven seconds and tell yourself that, that meeting is going to go better. But it's a habit we have to get into. And it's not even something that has to be shared publicly. I think that's really important for the introverts. You don't come in with your little post-it note shoving it at everyone's face. You can keep it in your pocket. But it does clarify for you in those moments where We might default to being in our head. We might get flushed with emotion and not find the words that we need to communicate effectively in those moments. We've got something to fall back on.

53:11There was this other study done by Harvard Business School where they took a bunch of students and they told them, you're going to have conversations with strangers, which of course is the most anxiety-producing thing on earth. And then they were like, okay, beforehand, we want you to write down three topics you might talk about. And dumb topics like last night's TV show and this weekend's game and where'd you go to high school? And then they told everyone, okay, stick them in your pocket. When they had the conversations, they found that almost no one talked about those three topics, right? Even though they had written them down.

53:42But everyone said that they enjoyed the conversation so much more. They felt so much more confident. They felt so much less anxious because they knew that they had this safety net in their pocket if they needed it. And it's sometimes just feeling like we have that safety net that means that we don't need it. Yeah, I encourage our clients just to have a few stories. It's like, have a mission statement, have your origin story, have your dream story of what you would like to accomplish. And those are not going to come up in every conversation. However, when you have it in your back pocket, you feel so much better.

54:16And then when it does come up, you're prepared to hold court and have some fun. Absolutely. Particularly if you're focusing on making authentic, right? I'm not trying to shoehorn my mission into this conversation, but like we're talking about our company's values. And like the fact that I can recite our mission is pretty impressive. Thank you for stopping by, Charles. As always, a fun conversation. Where can our audience find out more about this latest book? Yeah, so it's called Super Communicators. It's on sale now in all the bookstores where you normally go. And if you want to get in touch with me, if you just Google my name, Charles Duhigg, I'm the only Charles Duhigg on earth, or The Power of Habit or Super Communicators, my website will come up.

54:52And I'll mention that on my website, I actually list my email address, which is charles at charlesduhigg.com. and every email I get from a reader or a listener I read it and I respond to it because I feel like, again, connections are what matter and if someone's going to take the time to reach out to me I want to honor that and reach back out to them so if anyone has any thoughts or suggestions or insights of your own, charles at charlesdug.com I can promise you I'll see it and I would encourage you to buy Super Communicators Thank you Charles, we're excited for your next book Thanks guys, have a great day

55:35Okay, well, this week's shout out comes from Clint. And well, I'm going to let Clint tell you for himself. This is Clint, and I'm in capital sales, and I'm a former X Factor student. I joined X Factor because I felt I needed more personal and professional growth. I considered myself successful in my career, but when it came to having conversations with customers, I felt I wasn't building relationships to their full potential. I then started noticing I was having similar shortfalls in personal relationships. Additionally, I felt a confidence void in certain situations, and I was hoping I could improve on that as well.

56:13Through the work I did at X Factor and the core confidence course, I was able to improve on both of these areas of my life. Since completing the X Factor, I've transitioned to a new position and the skills learned helped me securing an approximate 30 % increase in pay. So to any guy who considers himself a driven individual but feels he's not quite achieving all he thinks is possible in his current situation, I'd say look hard at joining X Factor. It sure did great things for me. Thank you, Clint. It was an honor and a pleasure to work with you and I look forward to seeing you at some of our functions in the future.

56:50Thank you. Now, if you've listened this far, my guess is because you want more out of life and to finally succeed at work, love, and life. And if that's the case, then join us, the Art of Charm team and hundreds of other people just like you who are experiencing breakthrough conversations, supercharging their confidence, and growing an incredible network inside our world-famous X-Factor Accelerator program. The X-Factor Accelerator is where high-achieving, like-minded people meet, strategize, and unlock their hidden X factor to make sure they get the most out of life's opportunities. And finally, unlock those doors keeping you from success.

57:26Weekly implementation sessions with opportunities to practice your conversation skills, rapport building, supercharge your charisma through powerful communication and unlock the charm to attract the right people in your life. Imagine what you can accomplish with coaching and mentorship from the Art of Charm. What are you waiting for? Join us today at unlockyourxfactor.com. Now, before we head out, could you do us and the entire Art of Charm team a huge favor? Head on over to your favorite podcast player and rate and review the show. It'll mean the world to us and it lets others find the show. And before we head out, a huge thank you to our producers, Michael Harold and Eric Montgomery.

58:06All right, everybody, go out there and have a wonderful week.

58:17I threw your love away Like you was just a toy And you sold the world You sold the tragedy Cause you had your taste Of black only yesterday Yeah, but I remember you Oh yeah, I remember you In my life Amen.