In short
Podcast Episode Summary: The Tree That Bends - How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive | Ross White
Episode Overview This episode of *The Art of Charm* features Dr. Ross White, a clinical psychologist and author, discussing the importance of psychological flexibility for mental resilience and performance. His latest book, *The Tree That Bends: How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive,* advocates for a balanced mindset that integrates acceptance, commitment therapy, and mindfulness, challenging the traditional grit-focused mentality.
Key Concepts
Psychological Flexibility
- Definition: The ability to adapt to changing circumstances while maintaining focus on personal values and goals.
- Importance: Flexibility aids in preventing burnout and enhancing success in high-performance environments, such as business and athletics.
Modes of Operation
Get, Threat, and Reset
- Get Mode: Striving towards goals and growth.
- Threat Mode: Responding to potential danger or stressors.
- Reset Mode: Taking time for recovery and self-care.
- Balancing these modes is crucial to avoid relentless striving that can lead to burnout.
Redefining Resilience
- Resilience is not just about grit; it includes the ability to adapt and pivot when faced with challenges.
- Thriving is defined as performing well while also feeling well and maintaining mental health.
Discussion Highlights
Grit vs. Adaptability
- Grit is often emphasized as critical for success, but it can be counterproductive if it overshadows the need for adaptability.
- Dr. White suggests that being relentlessly persistent without recognizing limits can hinder progress.
Thriving Under Pressure
- It's vital to redefine success to include well-being alongside achievement.
- The emphasis should be on integrating moments of rest and reflection to foster sustainable growth.
Social Media's Impact
- Comparisons to others' successes on social media can fuel feelings of inadequacy and stress.
- The importance of recognizing individual journeys and cultivating personal values is underscored.
Techniques for Emotional Awareness
- The Roving Reporter Exercise: Encourages individuals to observe their thoughts without becoming entangled in them.
- Anchoring: Strategies to remain grounded during periods of stress, helping to manage emotions effectively.
Finding Purpose
- Purpose is dynamic and should evolve with personal growth and life changes.
- Strong intentions with light attachments allow for flexibility in pursuing what matters most.
Actionable Insights
- Recognize Choice Points: Identify moments when you can choose to move toward your values or away from them.
- Develop Emotional Vocabulary: Understanding the nuances of emotions can aid in addressing them constructively.
- Regular Mindfulness Practice: Strengthens the ability to stay anchored and respond mindfully to life's challenges.
Conclusion Dr. Ross White emphasizes the importance of psychological flexibility in achieving both performance and well-being. Listeners are encouraged to adopt a balanced mindset that appreciates the interplay of striving, surviving, and reviving—supporting them in thriving in their personal and professional lives.
Additional Resources
- Book: *The Tree That Bends: How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive* by Dr. Ross White
- Websites: [Strive to Thrive](http://www.strive2thrive.co.uk) | [Ross G. White](http://www.rossgwhite.com)
Final Thoughts This episode encourages a shift in perspective from relentless pursuit to a more adaptable approach to life, fostering a sustainable path to personal growth and fulfillment.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00When it comes to what your family eats and drinks, you know your choices matter. you're the expert because you know what fits your life and getting it right starts with good information that's why america's beverage companies are sharing more information about our ingredients at good to know facts.org no spin no judgments just the facts straight from the experts for more than 140 beverage ingredients visit good to know facts.org Trees have that get, threat, and reset mode, and they need to distribute their energy across those different modes. We too have our get, threat, and reset modes. Relentlessness, grit, that can have its place.
0:44But if we find ourselves being relentlessly relentless, we're going to burn out. So we have to have that capacity to balance our energies across those three modes. Welcome to the Art of Charm podcast, where we break down the science of powerful communication and winning mindsets so you have the cheat code to succeed with people. Every episode is jam-packed with actionable steps to unlock the hidden superpowers inside of you. Level up with us each week by listening to interviews with the best in business, psychology, and relationships. We distill thousands of hours of research in the most effective tools and the latest science so you can start winning today.
1:22Let's face it. In order to be seen and heard, your communication needs to cut through the noise. And we're going to show you how. I'm AJ, successfully recovered introvert, entrepreneur, and self-development junkie. And I'm Johnny Zubak, former touring musician, promoter, rock and roller, and co-founder here at The Art of Charm. And for the last 15 years, we've trained thousands of top performers and teams from every background. We have dedicated our lives to teaching men and women all they need to know about communication, networking, and relationships. You shouldn't have to settle for anything less than extraordinary.
1:57All right, let's kick off today's show. Today, we're talking with the award-winning clinical psychologist, Ross White, and we are untangling ourselves from that inner critic. Professor White is an award-winning clinical psychologist who specializes in supporting the mental health and well-being of adults working in high-performance environments. He's currently a professor of clinical psychology at Queen's University, Belfast. Ross is also director of Strive to Thrive, a clinical psychology consultancy firm that provides interventions and trainings to help individuals and organizations thrive. His new book is titled The Tree That Bends, How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive.
2:33Welcome to the show, Ross. Great to have you. Pleasure to be here. Thanks for the invite. Johnny and I are huge fans of acceptance commitment therapy. We integrated it into our coaching program to help our clients overcome social anxieties, fears, and that inner critic that can hold us back from building high-quality relationships in our life. I'd love to hear from you what drew you to acceptance commitment therapy and psychological flexibility. Yeah, I trained to be a clinical psychologist at the University of Glasgow back in the early noughties, showing my age here. But yeah, it was very much focused on cognitive behavioral therapy, CBT, which is, of course, a highly evidence-based approach and the one that is very much endorsed by organizations like the British Psychological Society that influence the practice of professional clinical psychologists in the UK.
3:25But as I drew to the end of my training, I got interested in what are called third wave psychological interventions, which build on the cognitive behavioral traditions. But those include mindfulness-based cognitive therapy, compassion-focused therapy, And it was really through learning more about mindfulness and training actually to be a mindfulness teacher that I started to learn about acceptance and commitment therapy. I just loved the focus on the values. And at that stage, I was working in an early intervention service for young people with psychosis, so quite pronounced mental health difficulties.
4:06and it was such a lovely conversation to have with young people about what matters to you. How do you want to be in the world? Which was a real shift away from the more problem focused questions that a lot of interaction with mental health professionals tended to focus on. So I saw the value in the work and I also saw the relevance of it in my own life, right? you know getting in touch with my own sense of purpose and my personal values and seeing difficult thoughts and difficult feelings as almost like the price of admission for trying to be true to those things that matter to me in life so yeah I just loved it from the outset and I think then when I'm practicing it with clients it comes through with so much more authenticity because I understand the application of it in my own life.
4:58Absolutely. And I think for many in our audience, they view themselves as high performers, maybe not a traditional patient of yours, but understanding the impact that we're seeing on social media and online, the rise of this thought around grit and resilience and tough it out and mental toughness. And we've had a number of guests on the show talk about the importance of those exact things can actually be detrimental to performance. And I'd love for you to unpack that for our audience, because I think many of us have fallen into that trap of viewing ourselves critically when we don't have the grit or resilience or the mental toughness to push through.
5:35Right. And that's a big motivation for me in writing the book, The Tree That Bends, that came out a couple of months ago. And yeah, I'm a frustrated sportsman. And I think I look back at my involvement in sport when I was growing up, particularly, and see that my psychology was a bit of a barrier. I'll own that, right? My mindset maybe wasn't where it needed to be. And it's interesting to think, well, what draws you to your professional life? So maybe I trained to be a clinical psychologist to help understand my own psychology and then to benefit others as well. But that's a real passion of mine, working with high-performance individuals, whether that be business executives or elite-level athletes.
6:17and yeah I'm very much interested in this no limits and be relentless do more to be more suck it up kind of mentality and how problematic that potentially is and I'm particularly interested in this concept of thriving which is a word we use right in everyday language but in sports psychology and performance psychology it's really come to the fore in recent years and it is defined as the ability to both perform well and feel well. Okay, so it's that idea of excel but feel well. It's about breaking through without breaking you and that really motivated me to write the book because I believe that idea of no limits needs to give way to know your limits, right?
7:10Because we all have limits, whether it's time, whether it's resource, whether it's mental fortitude, whether it's attention, there are limits and we have to work flexibly within those. And concepts like grit and to an extent mental toughness have really increased in popularity over the last couple of decades. And grit certainly has its place. but I think one of the things that grit does is that it prioritizes persistence above adaptability so I could persistently bang my head up against a brick wall and it's not going to do my head much good and it's probably not going to do the wall that much good either and the fact of the matter is there may well be a door in the wall that I could walk through there could be the end of the wall that I could walk around.
8:06So I need to have the flexibility and adaptability to change up if the strategies I'm using aren't actually delivering, if they're not effective, if they're not functional in that way. So yeah, I'm quite intrigued about the role that psychological flexibility can play in this space. So Ross, how do we make sure that we find where those limits, those walls are without hindering us from actually finding them and setting up false limitations due to truths that we get from other folks? Yeah, that's a great question. And look, technology has been incredibly helpful for us. These little gadgets in our pockets can help us to stay on track and to strive to achieve better things, greater things to optimize, which is a big word, right?
9:02That we hear a lot of, but I think nature is the teacher. And I was inspired to write The Tree That Bends by looking at nature, right? And in particular, I've always been interested in trees. My father was a horticulturist, right? When I was growing up. So I was interested in how things grew and that aspect of nurturing that helps to kind of foster growth. And trees, if you think about it, have to be adaptable. So they have to, in spring and summer, get into their get mode. They need to strive to obtain the energy that's available from the sunlight so that they can photosynthesize and create the fuel they need to grow.
9:50So trees have their get mode in spring and summer. Trees also need to respond to threat, whether that be storms that happen throughout the year or the risk of infestation from bugs or fungi that can kill the tree. So trees need to be sensitive to threat. Finally, trees also need to have a reset. In autumn and winter, they go through a period of dormancy where they recoup energy and get revitalized for the period of growth that comes around when spring returns. So trees have that get, threat, and reset mode, and they need to distribute their energy across those different modes. We too have our get, threat, and reset modes.
10:34So the get mode is about us striving. Yes, we have objectives. Yes, we've got goals. Yes, we've got dreams and aspirations. And it's important that we pursue those. But we also have to respond to risk, danger, whether that's real, actual. We could be in the presence of something threatening that we have to respond to. But we also have these symbolic brains that have the capacity to represent imaginary threats that are equally impactful on our day-to-day experience. So we have to deal with those as well. But we also need to have those reset moments, whether those are our moments or if they're sometimes more significant potentially they seem to be counter intuitive or counterproductive where we might step away from some of our existing commitments so that we can align again with our bigger sense of purpose and recoup energy so yeah look, relentlessness, grit, that can have its place.
11:42But if we find ourselves being relentlessly relentless, we're going to burn out. So we have to have that capacity to balance our energies across those three modes. I think one of the key messages that we hear from our audience and from our class members is this desire to strive to get to a place where they can then thrive. So they will focus on the striving and banging their head against the wall in hopes that at a later date, there will come that moment in time to thrive. And they've even shared with us that, you know, from some of our guests who've been on, well, it's easier to say you're thriving later in your career when you've established yourself and you have successes to fall back on.
12:27But early in your career, you have to get those victories. You have to get those successes in order to feel like you've strived enough to begin thriving. So what do you say to that audience member who's focused so much on striving in order to thrive later when they hear this message from you that we need to actually think about thriving under pressure? Yeah, so first off, my definition of thriving is that it does encompass those elements of the get, threat, and the reset modes. So for me, thriving is about, yeah, striving. That's the get mode. Surviving. That's the threat mode. and reviving. That's the reset mode.
13:06So I get it. First of all, that's the first thing I would say to your listeners who say that. I get it. I understand it. Look, I'm ambitious. I like to set targets. I like to pursue those targets. And arguably, guys, I'm a recovering workaholic. I've struggled with some of those urges in the past. Absolutely, I identify perfectionistic striving as an issue that I've had to work with. So I get it. And I'd listen to that. I'd understand the person first. I'd be interested to hear from them what it is ultimately that they're striving for. What is their sense of purpose? Because guys, we have to recognize that sometimes we get into a pattern of behaving where we end up chasing somebody else's dream, not our own.
13:57Okay. So understanding their purpose, their guiding light would be a great starting point for me. But the risk is that people might fall into the trap of what are called when then traps. So when I have a sense that I'm established enough, then I'll be able to take an opportunity to savor it. Does that make sense? So when then traps? Yeah. And I would encourage listeners to recognize the risk that that can become a pattern that gets established. And I talk about nuts and sage, nuts and sage. And it sounds like a recipe for stuffing, you know, that you might have at Thanksgiving, but it's acronyms that stand for next unachieved thing, nut.
14:47You know, and we get into this place of, right, okay, shelve that, I'm onto the next thing. What do I need to achieve now? and SAGE is an acronym that stands for something's always gonna entice you gotta know that so I would encourage people rather than the when then dominating things to also fall into a pattern pattern where you can now allow now that you've had a small victory allow yourself an opportunity to actually savor it. Savoring those sweet moments are going to help maintain and sustain your motivation in the long term. If it's just always go, go, go, if it's strive, strive, strive, strive, and then I'll appreciate later, people run the risk of burning out.
15:36Yeah, we see it often in our clients where that win never actually comes and they're left waiting for the then, but they're burned out in the process of chasing the win. Absolutely. And that's a pattern that is very consistent in the clients that I am working with and aim to support as well. That's the transformation that I'm seeking to make to help them get into that now ally space as well. So to go along with what AJ was saying, the other thing that comes up is a lot of times for our clients, they diminish the wins, right? It's minimization or emotional reasoning or disqualifying the positive.
16:16They just cut it out because they're unable to accept it for whatever not is there mentally for them. So to be being able to point that out and and let them know that it's OK to accept that it's OK to pat yourself on the back for that incremental progress you made, because that incremental progress is going to fuel you to the next incremental process. progress yeah that's exactly it and look there's this saying that we have in in english about don't rest on your laurels you know from the laurel leaves that victors would have been given in ancient greece or ancient rome i think we can take time to appreciate the lush green color and waxy feel of the laurel leaf without falling into the trap of resting on it right so there's a distinction there between taking the time to savor and appreciate so that that can sustain you and augment your motivation in the longer term, as opposed to rushing on to the next big thing.
17:21And in these situations where we look around and it seems like everyone else is expressing grit and resilience, it can feel very challenging for you to put your hand up and say, oh, I need a pause or, oh, this is actually too much for me. I'm not thriving in any way. And, you know, we talk a lot about the funhouse mirror of online, social media, and how everyone is comparing themselves to highlight reels of those around us. And I think it's been really interesting in probably the last three, four years to see some top athletes at the top of their form take a pause and say, hey, I can't do this.
17:59We saw it from tennis stars, gymnasts. And I think it's shocking for people when we look at professional athletes to think about, well, they're just always on, they're always performing, they don't have the same struggles as us. But you look at them, they have off seasons, they have time away from their sport, they have to go through exactly what you talked about. So it's very challenging to unpack the social pressures and what the media and the narrative is to start to get to those deeper questions of purpose and values. And I found it so interesting that oftentimes when we go through these exercises with our clients, they have no concept of where to begin on finding their values or purpose.
18:39They're looking at others and saying, okay, well, I think I want what they have, right? I think that seems important to me or my family told me this is important. So how do we start to get deeper into ourselves to find the greater motivation and then to recognize those internal signals when it's time to take the rest and when it's time to recuperate lovely a couple of things really to pick up there aj we got to know that as we start to get close to managing our own distress and make changes and really exercise that flexibility that that's going to be an uncomfortable process for us at times because it will feel like we're swimming against the current right and we got to know that as we do that it's going to provoke discomfort in others right and a question i often encourage my clients to think about is when my clients are coming up against some of that resistance or incredulity from others whenever they say I'm taking some time off and people respond with the what you can't do that are you sure right whenever that incredulity comes through I encourage my clients to think well I wonder what it is about my flexibility that is so frightening for those other people right because us exercising our flexibility may well provoke some discomfort about the fact that they're not exercising their own flexibility.
20:21So it can be a lonely place. And I commend people like Naomi Osaka, Simone Biles, Michael Phelps, who've come out and talked so eloquently and courageously about some of the challenges that they've been through and the stand that they've taken in response to that. and I don't underestimate how much of a inspiration that can potentially be for others that helped a lot of other people in their sharing. So your question about well how do you help people get more in touch with their purpose and some of that energy right the stuff that does motivate us and for me purpose does a few things. Purpose vindicates, purpose helps us make sense of some of the sacrifices that we'll have to make as we go along through life heading towards what is important to us.
21:13I think purpose also illuminates. It helps us to understand that experiencing difficult thoughts and feelings are an inevitable part of moving towards what matters to us. So our purpose isn't diminished by challenges. Us pursuing our purpose generates challenges because that's part and parcel of the journey. And for me, purpose also motivates. It helps us through those darker times to know that there is something that matters enough for us to keep going. So purpose vindicates, illuminates and motivates and Simon Sinek and others have done great work to introduce frameworks to help people understand what purpose might be about um for example start start with why and think about well what is your why and that's the purpose right what's your high and that's your process and what's your what and that's your your product or your outcome but in addition to that I think we also need to think about which and that's the tendencies that we bring to how we engage in our processes like Johnny, AJ, myself we could all try to do the same thing engage in the same process maybe it's a gym session right we all take ourselves off this afternoon and go into the gym.
22:48And we've got the same routine that we have to work through, the same process. But I would argue that we'll bring different qualities, different tendencies to how we engage in those particular processes, right? Who's going to be most highly motivated? Who's going to try to have the most fun as they do that? Who's going to be most conscientious? Who's going to be kindest to themselves, potentially as they do that, right? That's proclivity. That's which qualities you're going to bring to how you engage with your processes. But Simon Sinek also starts to talk about finding your why. And for me, you don't find your why.
23:32It's not found, it's formed, right? So what do I mean by that? Well, the kernels of it are there already in what brings vitality into our life like for you guys it might well be having discussions with people like me I'm sure you've had better discussions than you've had with me but right so there's something that helps bring energy into your day through having these kind of discussions and that maybe speaks to purpose around learning but also sharing your learning with your listeners right so purpose for those listening is there it's and it's about cultivating the opportunities to build on the things you're already doing that bring vitality in your life whether it's contributing to a charity coaching your local little league team right spending time in the great outdoors, working on your physical health and fitness.
24:37What is it that brings energy and vitality into your life and how can you honor that by doing that wee bit more of it to help build it over time? You've mastered the technical side, the numbers, the strategy, the execution. But there's a variable you can't quite solve for. The X factor that some people just seem to have. And in truth, it's not magic. It's methodology. For 18 years, the Art of Charms X-Factor Accelerator has decoded the science of influence and persuasion for analytical minds like yours. Not with personality types or cheap psychology tricks, but with proven systems that deliver results fast.
25:18In just 12 weeks, you'll develop elite-level rapport-building skills, natural charisma that draws people in, and advanced networking abilities that create opportunities before others even see them. Special Forces operators use it. Fortune 500 executives swear by it. Because for nearly two decades, it works. Implementation sessions. Group coaching and a money-back guarantee that puts our reputation on the line. The X-Factor Accelerator, because soft skills shouldn't be your toughest challenge. Head over to unlockyourxfactor.com to apply to join today. Accelerate relationship building to make an impact at unlockyourxfactor.com.
25:58this is why your worldview and your confidence in who you are and and what it is that you're looking to accomplish is so important so if i have a goal or i have a i'm training myself for a fight or a race and aj doesn't have any of those as a desired result of his training our results are going to be completely different and i want to read a quote by george bernard shaw that sets this up. And I think all men need to have an understanding of this, which is the reasonable man adopts himself to the world. The unreasonable one persists in trying to adopt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
26:45So how you are viewing the tasks that you have will then dictate the results. George Bernard Shaw, Oh, yeah. A wise Irishman. Much wiser than this Irishman. That's why I read it. I thought you'd get a kick out of that. But if our motivations aren't the same, the results are going to be different. I think that's right. And what qualities, what attributes are we bringing to how we engage in those processes? Thanks for helping to draw that out, Johnny. I appreciate that. Well, I think going along with this concept of mental toughness, we have this view in our mind that we need to meet the world with force.
27:32Bending is not going to end up getting us to the goals that we want and need. And I think when we talk about mental flexibility, psychological flexibility with our clients, it oftentimes feels counterintuitive to the way they are raised and the people they look up to and the worldview that they have. and I think when we introduce this concept, it can feel challenging like, oh, I'm giving into my excuses or I'm quitting or I'm taking a break and I know for myself and the way I was raised, if I was not in action, in action was seen as a negative. So I have this constant feeling like I just have to keep doing even if I'm not getting the results that I want.
28:16As long as I'm doing, then I'm moving forward in my own mind. So I'd love for you to unpack this idea of psychological flexibility for our audience members who feel that they have to meet life with force and they have to be in action at all time because it can be a tough transition to make. But I think once you actually understand it at a deeper level, a lot of these things that we want in terms of purpose and value really click. Yeah, I totally agree. I get it. I understand the point that you're bringing there and the starting point. that you're working from. I think that there is this pervasive messaging about doing more to be more.
29:00So it's not who we are, it's kind of what we do. It's what are your roles and responsibilities? You know, what are you demonstrating? Leadership, creativity, productivity, right? That's a big one. and I like the fact that yeah you're picking up that this is the kind of sea in which we're we're swimming and I'm really intrigued and excited about the stuff that can feel counter cultural I think if you look at some of the greatest advancements that humankind has been able to implement I think they've come from that almost counter cultural space and I would say to listeners my hunch is because i've listened to your podcast right i've listened to episodes and i have a sense that those listening for them doing more of the tough stuff is not going to be difficult it's doing less of it that will be right and i would say and i really want people to listen to this, that being vulnerable takes more courage than being tough does.
30:16So being vulnerable takes more courage than being tough does. It's not easy to get out on the skinny branches. It's not easy to open up and talk about the difficulties that we might be experiencing. rather than being relentless I think we need to relent more what do I mean by that relent to the need for rest and recovery at times relent to the fact we are not going to get everything done relent to showing up to the difficult emotions that we're driven to try to suppress or avoid And most importantly, relent to the yearning that we all have to live a life that feels purposeful and has vitality.
31:07Because we can get stuck in this place where, and I call it the conforming zone. People talk about the comfort zone, which is similar, right? But it's not really the comfort zone. It's the conforming zone. We're conforming to rigid ideas about who we are. what we're capable of what we're not capable of and flexibility to come back to your point your question allows us to move out of that conforming zone into this transforming zone so from conforming zone into transforming zone transformation is not without its challenges if you think again about nature metamorphosis the caterpillar turning into the butterfly and the pupae that's the sort of middle stage and the kind of breaking of that as the butterfly emerges into the world right it's a struggle at times but it's a struggle worth undertaking and for me flexibility is the ability to have difficult thoughts and feelings and still do the stuff that matters to us now there's a risk that people hear flexibility and it's like oh that's about being amenable or agreeable or being weak or being passive.
32:26No, it's not. It's about being active, being courageous, being prepared to swim against the tide, being prepared to be vulnerable at times if it allows us to find ways of feeling well and performing well. And again, I think nature teaches us. So if we think about the anatomy of the tree that allows it to flexibly move between its get threat and its reset mode, well, the tree has its roots which anchor it and help it to be grounded in the space that it exists. It has its trunk that is willing to sway in the wind and willing to transport the nutrients and water to help the tree survive. It also then has its crown, which is the leaves and the branches.
33:20That's the powerhouse that allows the tree to be empowered. And I think for me, flexibility is those three elements anchored in the here and now where our lives are unfolding, willing to have difficult thoughts and feelings without holding too tightly onto them and then empowered by our sense of purpose and our personal values to take pragmatic action that's going to allow us to progress in the direction we want to move our lives. So I have to ask the follow-up question around anchored in difficult moments because those tend to be the ones where we want to be the least anchored, we want to run from, we want to avoid and it's counterintuitive to think okay this is actually when I need to be more anchored in the difficult to move through it.
Read the full transcript
34:11So being anchored for me is about contacting and appreciating the breadth of our present moment experiences so we can all be acutely aware of the difficult thoughts and feelings that we might be experiencing and how they can hook us. So for me being anchored is about, well, connecting with the breadth of your experience. Be where your feet are, not where your head is at. So there are anchoring statements that I encourage my clients to use whenever they notice that they're getting hooked by difficult thoughts, difficult feelings. And those might be things like, be here now, be where your feet are, notice refocus.
34:52So notice, if you like, that you've been hooked away by those difficult thoughts and those feelings, and see if you can come back to the here and now. And I think a great skill for people to develop that helps them to be anchored in the here and now is meta-awareness, the ability to notice where your attention currently sits. And the best way of doing that is to have a regular mindfulness practice so that you can get better at tracking how and where your attention does tend to move and you can come back to the breath as an anchor to the here and now. Yeah, I think when we hear and we talk about on the show meditation and mindfulness, there's again this feeling that with action, there should be some immediate result, or I should have some noticeable takeaways from it.
35:42And we hear from clients who've tried meditation or mindfulness, and it didn't work for me, or wasn't giving me what I wanted, or I didn't feel like I was getting better at it. And Johnny and I always kind of chuckle at that, because it's actually not in the practice that you're getting better. It's in those other more difficult moments where you need to be present and anchored that all of the meditation and mindfulness practice helps you in. Exactly. There's that line, you know, don't wait until you need to jump out of the plane before sewing the parachute. Yeah. And, you know, it is something that you proactively have to engage in.
36:22And I like that working with athletes, we can talk about the mindfulness muscle and through practice it strengthens, right? And that allows people to generalize what they're developing in the practice during the meditation and how that then spreads and infuses itself into how they are the rest of the day. right so being very clear with clients about well the reason why i'm inviting you to try this practice is in the hope that it will then generalize into how you are during the rest of your day so mindfulness is about helping people to be more mindful generally so moving beyond anchored can you unpack willing for those in our audience who aren't necessarily familiar with how to face those difficult emotions in a willing way.
37:13Yeah, great. So for me, willingness is about two things. Being willing to recognize that our minds are story generating machines, right? Almost like a news channel. And we know that news channels, whether it's Fox News, CNBC, CNN, BBC, will have their editorial policies. will have their particular angles that they might take. And our minds are like that too. They're prone to the bias potentially. So the mind is this story generating machine and there are potential biases in the stories that are generated. And the second element of being willing is being willing to create space for the emotions that can show up with those stories.
38:03and let me demonstrate willingness. Would that be okay? Have I got an opportunity here to talk through that? Okay, great. So if we think about the willingness to recognize that the mind is a story generating machine, there's an exercise I do with clients called the roving reporter. And I encourage clients to, if and when they're noticing they're going up inside their head, to be the reporter on the scene of their thought. So it's 5.39 here. in the evening in the UK where I'm chatting to you. And I'm just noticing that my mind is giving me the story that I'm whittling on. And I might be losing the guys here, but I haven't seen their eyes glaze over just yet.
38:47So maybe we're okay. Right. Back to you in the studio. So there's something about being a reporter that you don't get dragged into the story. That's not your role. you're there to objectively report the facts and in fact you're also needing to be flexible enough to move on to the next story right correspondents who come on to the camera every time with the same story even though the newsreel has moved on aren't going to fare very well so it's yeah reporters need to kind of let go of some of those stories so they can move on to the next one So the roving reporter is a technique that can be helpful.
39:30It's drawing on the principles of cognitive diffusion, right? That guests may have talked about previously. Yeah. Can I, can I speak about the other technique or would you like to say anything? Yeah. Let's, let's unpack that a little more because, you know, one thing that I love about that exercise is it creates the space for you to start to recognize the patterns. So Johnny talks about this in our course, these hooks over time, there's a pattern to the types of hooks, or if you're a reporter, the types of scenes you find yourself going to again and again. And they can create a latch that locks you in a loop that creates negative feedback, that distorts reality for you and can keep you from finding your values and your purpose and moving forward to things that really matter.
40:18And that's why it's so important to create the space to be the roving reporter, but then to look at, okay, well, you know, how many of these scenes have I gone to? And is there a pattern? Am I just constantly chasing car wrecks? Am I constantly showing up at robberies? What is going on here that when I find myself getting hooked, is there a pattern that I can start to unwind? And for me, one of the biggest ones, and I still struggle with it today. So I love sharing this with our audience because I think oftentimes when they hear us on the show or they work with us, they think, oh, since you guys have interviewed all these experts and you've worked through this yourself, that you don't have these patterns or hooks.
40:58And for me, and I've shared this with Johnny, you know, a big part of my upbringing was around managing emotions and people around me. And I felt like I got very attuned to managing expectations and people around me. And if I saw a negative signal back, then I just assumed it was because of me, something I did, some way that I interpret it, that I personalize it to myself. And that's a latch that's formed over time that I'm constantly finding, okay, I got to unloop that hook that's pulling me in that direction. And it recently happened to me. I reached out to someone for some support on something, and I didn't hear from them for months.
41:36And I was kind of beating myself up a little bit, like, oh, maybe I said something wrong when we met in person last time, or maybe they were viewing that story that I said in a different light, and I personalized it to myself. They don't want to help me. They don't like me. And even after studying all of this and being so focused on growing my own charisma, I found myself getting caught in that loop. And six, seven months later, I get an email from them. Sorry, so busy. Would love to help support you on this if you still need it. And it was that unhook of, oh, okay they actually do like me I was personalizing it again and now I've found myself going back and looking when I'm that roving reporter okay am I personalizing this am I making this about something I did and them not liking me because of it are there other explanations for what I'm seeing here on the scene as I'm reporting what's going on as the weather finally cools down I'm swapping in the pieces that actually get the job done warm durable and built to last and Quince delivers every time.
42:35Quince has all the false staples you actually want to wear on repeat, like 100 % Mongolian cashmere sweater starting at just 60 bucks, classic fit denim, and real leather and wool outerwear that looks sharp and holds up. I've actually got my eye on their suede trucker jacket. It's perfect for layering and it hits that balance of casual but still put together. What I like about Quince is they partner directly with ethical factories and top artisans. By cutting out the middlemen, you get premium quality at half the cost of similar brands. And it's not just clothing. I love their sheets. They have items like bedding and travel accessories.
43:09Quince has really become a go-to for me across the board. Same here. Everything I grabbed from Quince has held up and it doesn't wreck my budget. Layer up this fall with pieces that feel as good as they look. Go to quince.com slash charm for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash charm. Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince dot com slash charm. If you're still overpaying for wireless, it's time to say yes to saying no. That's Mint Mobile's whole thing. Their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, no BS.
43:48And that's why I love Mint Mobile premium wireless service for just 15 bucks a month. Ditch those overpriced plans with jaw-dropping bills, surprise overages, and all the hidden fees. Mint starts at just$15 a month. And you're not giving up coverage. Every plan comes with high-speed data and unlimited talk and text on the nation's largest 5G network. You can even use your own phone, keep your number, and bring all your contacts with you. No hassle. Mint Mobile is unbeatable at this pricing. Ready to say yes to saying no? Make the switch at mintmobile.com. slash charm. That's mintmobile.com slash charm.
44:24Upfront payment of$45 required, equivalent to$15 per month. Limited time new customer offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow above 35 gigabytes on an unlimited plan. Taxes and fees extra. See Mint Mobile for details. Think you're the only one struggling with performance issues in the bedroom? You're not. And now there's an easier way to fix it from home. That's where Rex MD comes in. It's an online telehealth service that helps men get real FDA-approved medications straight to your door. Everything's done online. No doctor's office, no waiting rooms, no awkward conversations. Here's how it works.
44:59First, share your symptoms, health history, and goals through a short quiz. Then, a U.S. licensed provider reviews your information and prescribes medication, if appropriate. Your treatment gets sent to you with free two-day delivery. It's that easy. And RexMD team is there for ongoing care. Just send a message. What I love about RexMD? Total discretion, private consultations, and direct-to-door delivery in discreet packaging. No pharmacy trips needed. Plus, it's care that you can trust. FDA-approved medications tailored to individual needs. Over 475 ,000 men have chosen RexMD, with over 50 million tablets prescribed and delivered.
45:38This isn't just about performance. It's about feeling secure in yourself and your relationships again. Don't put your love life on hold. take back control of your confidence and intimacy. Get up to 95 % off treatment with Rex MD. Visit rexmd.com slash charm. That's rexmd.com slash charm. See full details and usage at rexmd.com. Prescription required. Results may vary. That's lovely. And thank you for sharing, right? You know, I appreciate it's not easy sometimes to kind of open up and reflect on some of these struggles that we have and the listeners will absolutely benefit from that really tangible example that you provided and you're spotting the kind of editorial policy of the stories being generated by your mind and there absolutely will be recurring themes in there and listeners will recognize the recurring themes whether it's about personal responsibility whether it's about capabilities of us versus others regret guilt right there are recurring themes that can come up in that editorial policy in relation to the stories that are mind generous the other thing about that and aj pointed out that yeah though we've understand these processes and we've worked through a lot of these processes ourselves, change is constant.
47:04So after I figured something out and worked through it, I'm still growing older. I'm still deteriorating here on earth. At some point, I'm going to cease to exist. That's one force alone that is driving us and putting us into more loops. But the best part about that is if you understand the process, you know when you're caught in a loop and you're like, oh, this is a new loop. I'm going to do my process and I'm going to get out. So now you're doing it in the moment. And if you practice it, it's automatic. But it's not to say that you've cleared the hurdle. You'll never see another one again. And that is nature is one force of many that is putting tension and pressure on us to cause more loops.
48:02Yeah. So the loops aren't going to stop. But what we can do is get better at noticing them and get better at how we choose to respond to them. And choice is important here because we do have choices. And in life, a lot of the time what can happen is we end up choosing to move away from what matters to us because it's in the service of avoiding discomfort or upset or distress. But we end up living life small. And flexibility is about recognizing that and helping people to engage in more of those towards moves, branching out towards what matters to us so we can get that energy, that revitalization from connecting with the stuff that matters to us.
48:43even if difficult thoughts and feelings will show up. And you can guarantee they will because those loops can keep on coming. And there's nice analogies out there about like you can't stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf. And I think that's the kind of principle, John, that you're getting to. And I can certainly recognize that in my own life and the value that that brings to clients too. I think you'll get a kick out of this because in our training, one of the core principles is choice points and recognizing that there are opportunities for you to make away moves and toward moves. And we'll often find in our group coaching programs in the X Factor Accelerator that people will point out that's a choice point.
49:28Or I had a choice point yesterday and I finally made it toward move towards my purpose, towards my values, towards what I really want out of life instead of making the away move. And that little coinage of choice point, it comes up again and again in our coaching programs. And it's so fun to watch other participants sharing, okay, I had the same one, or I had a similar experience and taking note of all of those moments. And again, that's bringing that awareness to what's going on with these loops and recognizing when the loops can be holding you back. I think to go along with that is if you're listening to this and you're thinking, I'm not experiencing these loops, well, you're in a loop that you're incredibly comfortable with and therefore you're not seeing choice points because you've submitted to that loop.
50:19So the second willingness exercise. Yeah. Well, just riffing off what you guys are saying here, emotions can get a bad rap, right? It's kind of like we label them negative emotions. And that kind of creates a pretext where we should expunge them or annihilate them or get rid of them. And if only it were that easy, right? But people, I think, need to shift away a little from viewing emotions as an inconvenience to recognizing that emotions have an important function. I use the acronym TEAM, T-E-A-M, treat emotions as messengers, that they serve important functions. They're there in our evolutionary history to help us survive.
51:11And I want listeners to recognize that it's not emotions that sabotage us. It's the choices that we make in response to those emotions that can. and I think that speaks to your idea there about the away moves and towards moves so I just wanted to bring that in. And recognizing that emotions although they have these negative and positive connotations oftentimes we haven't spent enough time and dedication to learning our emotional vocabulary and we had a guest on recently Carla who is sharing the range of emotions even the good emotions, quote unquote, or the bad emotions, quote unquote, have a range to them.
51:52And when you start to unpack, well, what's actually going on behind the anger? You know, anger has positive points and anger has negative points. And increasing your emotional vocabulary allows you to start to unpack the message that the emotion is sending in a more meaningful way. And that was very eye opening for me, recognizing that in a lot of my communication, I would self-label emotions in a very general way, not recognizing all the different words and vocab we have for emotions, sitting with it, thinking through, okay, well, is it really anger or is it more resentment or is it more just fired up energy that's going on because of excitement that I'm mislabeling?
52:34So recognizing the importance of stretching your emotional vocabulary can actually help with the team acronym to allow you to unpack the message that that emotion is sending you. brilliant and yeah people talk about emotional granularity is another way of talking about that right but you've articulated it much more clearly which is helpful so yeah i agree and it leads us on nicely to this idea of being willing to create space for our emotions and technique that i describe in my book is the acronym POPLAR, P-O-P-L-A-R, POPLAR. So what does POPLAR stand for? Well, first of all, pick up that a situation or an experience has evoked a strong emotion in you.
53:25That's the first thing. It's the noticing skills, right? That we've talked about earlier in the pod. The O stands for the opportunity just to take a moment to observe, observe the most prominent emotion that might be present. It could be anger. It could be, right, to talk to that granularity thing, being raging, right, as a very pronounced form of anger, very acute. it could be frustration it could be jealousy it could be sadness so encouraging people to observe the most prominent emotion that that is there okay the second p is about pinpointing the urge that you have to immediately react to the emotion that you're experiencing so it could be sent back a strongly worded email to the email that's just made you raging right we can all relate to that don't do it guys put it in your outbox or drafts come back to it tomorrow um personal experience but yeah you've got that pinpoint the urge to react acknowledge it recognize that it's there sit with that for a moment then the second or the the step really that i speak to after that is about locate that's the l locate where in your body you are experiencing that emotion and that's quite a interesting question for my clients to reflect on.
54:54Where is the emotion in my body? Because often we relate to the fact that the emotion is there and we've got that urge to react to it. And we don't take a moment to connect with, well, where is it? Is it in your head? Is it in your chest? Is it in your tummy? Where is it? And then after you've located it in your body, what I do is encourage people to assign physical characteristics to that felt experience so okay if it's in your tummy if that that that anger is in your tummy um you know tell me a little about what shape it is in your tummy maybe is it like a globe or is it a globule or is it a pyramid you know people will come back with different things in relation to that.
55:41So yeah, what shape is it? What color is it? Does the anger have a color? And anger tends to go towards those reddy tinges, right? Red, yeah. And I then ask, well, if that feeling in your tummy had a texture, what texture would it have? And it could be sticky, could be spiky, could be rough. But these are interesting questions for the client to reflect on. And then the next step, the final step they are, is to recognize. Recognize that you can hold the emotion, that felt physical experience off the emotion, and you can choose how you respond. You can choose how you respond. So it's that recognizing that you have emotions, emotions don't have you, and you can choose how you're going to respond.
56:33At the end of that practice, guys, I say to clients, now remember the choice is yours. You had your initial urge as to how you want to react and I've helped you sit with it, be open to it, be willing to lean into it, be curious about it. And you also have the choice of responding in a way that's more consistent with your values or your purpose, how you want to be in the world. The choice is yours. 99 % of the time, clients go with that more considered choice that's in line with their values and their purpose, having worked through those stages. But I empower them to go with what works for them.
57:13It's not my job to really direct them on that. The choice is theirs, and I empower them to make that choice. What's fascinating about that, as you recount the example, is so many of us are hardwired to emotion react. And that we see it, I experienced it here in LA with road rage, just in traffic, how quickly people go to the horn and how fast the second that emotion hits you, you must react. And as you go through that exercise, locating in your body, giving it a color, giving it a shape, giving it a texture, you're creating the space necessary to diffuse from the emotion and to allow you to come to a place where that choice point is actually recognizable because so often the emotion overwhelms any ability for us to get to the choice point because we've reacted in the past to that emotion so fast that we haven't given ourselves the opportunity to find the choice point.
58:11Exactly. And it's moving from reacting to responding. I think that's the distinction here that the reaction is mindless. It's kind know, in this better at the moment. And the responding is values based, it's purpose based. Yeah, I find that to be a powerful example for our listeners, I encourage them to use. And my starting to do men's work over the last six, seven years, one of the first things that we do in the group share around the emotion is checking in with our body. And I find so many of us go quick to the label of the emotion, but really struggle with locating what is that feeling inside of you?
58:53And what does it actually look like when you say you're angry or you're furious? Is it your temples are sweating or your pulse is rising? Do you feel hot all over your body? Just the act of starting to go into your body to recognize how that emotion is showing up can be really powerful. Exactly. And it's an exposure technique. To use a technical term, what you're doing is exposing the client to the felt experience of the emotion, helping them to see that in this moment they can hold it, in the next moment they can hold it, helping them to see that there are different ways of relating to their emotions and there's learning in that and ultimately flexibility isn't about getting rid of difficult thoughts or difficult emotions, it's about changing the relationship we have with them so that no longer are we falling into that misconception or that misthinking that emotions have us.
59:48We're starting to really appreciate that we're the context in which our thoughts and feelings occur. Now, there's one thing that I found really fascinating in the book that I want to share with our audience, because when we talk about purpose with clients, it can feel overwhelming to label a purpose, to try to figure out what your purpose is. And oftentimes we can feel that it's set. But you're right, purpose isn't static. It can dynamically evolve with us as our lives progress. And I'm going through that moment right now. We're expecting our first child. And now I'm seeing the shift around purpose just in how I'm looking at my career and how I'm looking at my work-life balance.
1:00:29But for so many of us, especially younger in our career, that idea of finding purpose or trying to label purpose can feel overwhelming and can feel very rigid. And oftentimes I think that's why we avoid trying to go deeper on purpose because we don't want to choose the wrong thing. We don't want to be imperfect in searching for our purpose. Yeah. And I write in the book about sometimes our purpose might be a little unclear and also So some of the goals that might be linked to the pursuit of a purpose may be unclear. We might be in that space where we've completed a project that felt purposeful and rewarding and revitalizing.
1:01:10And now we have to take stock to think about, well, where do I go from here? And that's really the reset mode that I mentioned earlier. And sometimes there are those momentary moves we can do that relate to, yeah, getting a sense of wonder, right? Connecting with something more vast than us. And that could be standing underneath a star-filled sky and appreciating how small we are relative to the universe, which is quite a lovely thing. And Northern Lights that have blessed us with their presence. In Ireland, we've had some really lovely views of the Northern Lights that just haven't happened here locally.
1:01:49So it's been exciting, but also gratitude, expressing gratitude. That could be just being grateful for the small things, whether that's a piece of art, music, smile from a stranger, just reaching out to someone who's maybe done something for us, expressing that gratitude, and also compassion, being kind to ourselves. So those momentary moves are linked to those self-transcendent emotions of wonder, gratitude, and compassion. But there are also bold moves. bold moves are the ones that i mentioned that feel potentially counterintuitive where we have to take time take time away to realign to think about well where to now and life changes whether it's the start of a new job the ending of an existing job starting a family and congratulations to you and your partner for the impending arrival of the little one and yeah yeah that's that's an important time to think about well where to from now um what's important now is an important question to ask in those moments but i speak about in the book look how are we going to be today and not knowing what it is that me we might want to do tomorrow so how are we going to be today and not knowing what we want to be tomorrow.
1:03:16And that's where I think we can apply some of those, be anchored, be willing, be empowered elements of psychological flexibility to help us manage some of the anxiety, some of the worry, the uncertainty that can show up in those moments. And my experience has shown me that whenever we do that work with clients, purpose becomes clearer in time. And I think it's just about being patient as we start to allow some of that clarity to come. Well, I think that's a beautiful place to end it. And I'm so thankful that you shared that with our audience, because I know when we talk about purpose, it can be very challenging for those who are perfectionists and for those who haven't really wrestled with those deeper thoughts and meaning.
1:04:06And you can feel forced in a way that you are choosing the wrong thing and not bring compassion into it and recognizing that purpose can shift. And it's totally okay to have picked the wrong purpose early in your career and make adjustments and tune into what really matters later. The way I speak about that in the book, AJ, that I think is important for the listener is this phrase, strong intention, light attachment, strong intention light attachment so be true to what it is you value be true to your sense of purpose when it's there but be light in this idea that you have to be attached to one particular single way of being true to your values or being true to your purpose there are multiple pathways and there will be times where we feel a little lost but there are new choices that are going to come along that will allow us to reconnect.
1:05:02So strong intention, light attachment. Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for joining us this evening, Ross. Appreciate all of your insights. Where can our audience find out more about you and the book? Sure. So I have my own website, www.rossgwhite.com. And there's also Strive to Thrive, which is the psychology consultancy that I founded. So that's www.strive2thrive.co.uk. I'm on Instagram and I'm on x at Ross G. White. And people can learn a bit more about the tree that bends, how a flexible mind can help you thrive. It's available from online retailers and will be distributed through bookshops in the US in due course.
1:05:56Oh, wonderful. Well, thank you again for stopping by. We really appreciate it. Thanks for having me.
1:06:10Thank you for listening to another episode of the Art of Charm podcast. And this brings us to the place where we celebrate one of our X Factor members. Take it away, Sheldon. Hi, my name is Sheldon. I'm an engineer. Before the X-Factor Accelerator, I struggled with approaching new people as well as procrastinating for fear of saying the wrong thing. I joined the X-Factor Accelerator because I felt like my technical skills were recognized, but my ability to communicate was limiting my career. I thought if I could punch up my communication skills, I'd be much more likely to reach my potential. My favorite thing about the X-Factor Accelerator is working directly with AJ, Johnny, and Michael.
1:06:45While working with them, I've had breakthroughs in my marriage, while getting better at my job, and having more fun doing it. If you're on the fence, I would definitely encourage you to book a call to explore working with them. And thank you, Sheldon. It was a pleasure working with you too. And good luck to all your future endeavors. If you've gotten value out of this or any of our podcasts, head on over to your favorite podcast player and rate and review the show. It means the world to us and it helps others find the show. If you've listened this far, you're probably somebody who understands the value of building meaningful connections and expanding your network.
1:07:18Well, do we have something special for you today? Imagine a world-class networking program that helps you grow your social capital, not just through random handshakes and business cards, but through your general interests and core values. Introducing the Social Capital Training, your gateway to mastering the art of authentic networking. Whether you're a professional looking to climb the career ladder, an entrepreneur seeking partnerships, or just somebody who wants to enhance their social skills, our free social capital training is designed for you. It's not about collecting contacts. It's about cultivating connections that matter.
1:07:52What makes our program stand out? We focus on leveraging your unique interests and values to create powerful, lasting relationships. Ready to take your networking game to the next level? Head on over to theartofcharm.com slash SC and watch your free social capital training today. Don't miss out on this opportunity to transform your social life. That's theartofcharm.com slash SC for your free social capital training. Elevate your network Elevate your life With social capital Alright Before we head out A huge thank you To our producers Michael Harold And Eric Montgomery Go out there And have an epic week
1:08:47I'm black today. Cause you had your taste. I'm black only yesterday. Yeah, but I remember you. Oh yeah, I remember you. It was my bad day. But I found you to run away.
From the publisher
In today’s episode, we explore the transformative power of psychological flexibility with Dr. Ross White, an award-winning clinical psychologist and a leader in mental resilience and high-performance coaching. Currently a professor of clinical psychology at Queen’s University Belfast and founder of Strive to Thrive, Dr. White specializes in helping individuals and organizations unlock their potential while safeguarding mental well-being. His latest book, The Tree That Bends: How a Flexible Mind Can Help You Thrive, challenges the relentless “no-limits” mindset and presents a balanced approach to personal growth, integrating acceptance, commitment therapy, and mindfulness.
Join us for a compelling conversation with Dr. Ross White as we explore the power of psychological flexibility in achieving true resilience and mental well-being. How can we balance the grit needed for high performance with the adaptability essential for sustainable growth? Dr. White discusses the “get, threat, and reset” modes that guide our energy and performance, revealing how psychological flexibility can protect us from burnout while enhancing success. Discover actionable insights into balancing ambition with rest, redefining mental toughness, and navigating the social pressures that drive relentless striving. This episode offers a new approach to thriving under pressure, helping you to achieve both performance and well-being in your personal and professional life.
What to Listen For
Introduction – 00:00:00
What are the “get, threat, and reset” modes that drive our mental energy and resilience?
How does Dr. Ross White’s background in clinical psychology influence his approach to high performance and mental well-being?
What can listeners expect from Dr. White’s latest book, The Tree That Bends, on balancing ambition with self-care?
Redefining Resilience: Beyond Grit – 00:04:28
Why can grit sometimes be a barrier rather than a strength in high-stress environments?
What does “thriving” truly mean according to Dr. White, and how does it balance both well-being and performance?
How can persistence become counterproductive, and what role does adaptability play in reaching our goals?
The Power of Psychological Flexibility in High-Performance Settings – 00:07:49
What is the importance of adaptability for executives, athletes, and other high achievers in preventing burnout?
How can the “get, threat, and reset” framework help maintain peak performance while prioritizing mental health?
Why should high performers balance drive with self-awareness and adaptability?
Embracing Limits and Building Purpose – 00:13:00
What are “when-then” traps, and how can they hinder long-term fulfillment?
How does Dr. White recommend redefining success to include well-being and self-care?
Why is it vital to build purpose that aligns with personal values, rather than societal expectations?
Harnessing Psychological Flexibility to Reduce Stress – 00:19:28
What is “psychological flexibility,” and how can it help us handle life’s stressors with greater resilience?
How does comparing oneself to social media “highlight reels” fuel burnout, and what are healthier alternatives?
Why is cultivating personal values a cornerstone of thriving under pressure?
Techniques for Emotional Awareness and Anchoring – 00:33:41
How can techniques like the “roving reporter” exercise help us detach from negative thought patterns?
What is “anchoring,” and why is it essential for managing challenging emotions?
Why is emotional awareness crucial for navigating stress and making effective decisions?
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices