Marshawn Lynch: The Contract Talk That Almost Got Physical, Retiring & “7 Car Crashes” a Game

28:30So then when they do come out and they want to talk, it's like, what are we talking about? Because had you been somebody or this been a different environment, we would have had to throw hands. We would have had to say about something, But, you know what I mean, it is what it is. And I see how you can take the words and you can flip it and switch it. So telling you how I really feel, like, you know what I mean, get up off that type of time and come see me about something, then you change that and flip it to something else. So it ain't even worth it. So instead of that, like, you know what I mean, go ahead, paint your picture.

29:01But the thing is, while you saying what you're saying versus what I'm actually doing, so the people that's really paying attention or that's not paying attention and they want to believe it, but then they see what I'm doing. It's like, I heard what they said, but I'm watching what he's doing, and it's not adding up. So then it's like, all right, so who's stupid? Yeah. You know what I mean? So that's like the origin of you feeling away about the media. Oh, yeah. Because you seemed like you was more open early in Buffalo. Yeah, because, I mean, you know, nigga. You young, you know. I got drafted at 20, so you feel me?

29:37I'm still a kid. Yeah. Yeah, man, what's up? What we doing, man? Yeah. Yeah. Busting jokes all the, you know what I'm talking about? And then I say, like, oh, y 'all ain't really cool like that. Oh, I don't know y 'all either. Y 'all are do some police doing interrogation. Just poke at you to get you to say something. Then, oh, we got them. Yeah. So then I just started to treat them like that. Mm-hmm. What's up, people? It's your boy, Ak. And I'm Barack the Boxing Bully. And big games and fights are heating up right now. So we teamed up with DraftKings to give you a brand new offer. DraftKings is available in all 50 states, from New York to California.

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32:34Man, I appreciate you too, bro, because even the stuff that you had to deal with, anything that happened off the field, bro, you always stood up under it. You shouldered it, man. I did that. That's on me. You know, it wasn't no ducking and dodging. It wasn't nothing like that, man. So I appreciate that, that, you know, these different stages of your life. It's a lot, bro. You, you know, we supposed to start at the Tech House and we start talking about this business. But, you know, you started at Oakland Tech, man. And I ain't know you played for sports, bro. Yeah, I was active. So that's why you be getting at me like you can see me in...

33:07That's why. I thought you was just a football player. Probably ran some track or something. Nah, man. So that's why you be talking like that. Yeah, man. With them gloves in, man. Yeah, I'm surprised you ain't got nothing in here. I'm not even talking about no boxing. I'm talking about football, bro. You know I play free safety, right? Nah. Yeah, you do. You know I play... Brother, you done heard about me. Your cousin went to the same school, bro. I'm just saying. Yeah, they just said, My child, he got hands. Nah, you tripping, man. You tripping. They said, my child, dog got hands. You heard about me on that field, baby.

33:39They said, my child, man, dog got hands. Yeah. All right. They didn't say nothing about no freedom. Come on, bro. They said, you can get some free smoke, but free safety. I don't know. Don't do that. You know what it is. I don't know if you want that. You know what it is. Nah, true. But no, that faux sports, bro. And, you know, it's a school your mama went to. Mom's, what, she held a 200-meter record in track. Mom was getting active. Yeah, for like 20 years. Man. Mom's had feet. And you did your thing, bro, and you, you know, you became beast mode at Tech, right? I mean, it was like an evolution.

34:14It was more so, uh, man, Coach Reed, K. Reed, uh, K. Reed, Daddy, shout out Coach Reed. I was playing for the Dynamites. Open Dynamites. To tell me, like, boy, you a man child. I was like, listen, you trying to call me hella old or something? Like, no, boy, you be out here running like a grown man and a child, you know, and a kid in body. Okay. And I mean, you know, just over time ago, like, you feel me, Coach D, rest in peace, my Uncle Phil was my running back coach. And he used to always tell me, like, these drills that we doing right now, like, we got college. And at the time, you know, I don't really understand this because I wasn't really into, you know, watching sports.

35:02But, like, I love to play them, though. You didn't watch football when you was playing? No, not. I mean, you know, when Barry was on, I go, you know, I watch Barry. I mean, we ain't had no cable. And trying to watch them games with all the lines going through, slapping the TV, trying to get the antennas, that's hard. so you know the little bit that i was able to see i would just go out and i would i would try that then i had an older brother too so you know that got to it but they would he would tell me like like sean these drills that we doing is to prepare you for the league like we got high school we got college you know i mean we're trying to get you to the next level and you're talking like that early yeah this it's not it's not it's not translating to me though you feel me it's not translating to me and i'm just thinking like all right i'm gonna do these drills because you know They was all, you know, they was all with the shit.

35:53So if you get the trip and then, you know, you got to go in that room, close that door and turn them lights off and anything goes. So, I mean, you know, it kind of just made me like, you feel me? I feel like it made me into a monster because then it's like, well, I ain't scared of nothing. Like, I'm facing things that I can't even see coming at me. And I mean, you know, they throwing chairs, they throwing Gatorade buckets. You know what I mean? And then it got to a point where that was like our outlet. That was our, you know what I mean? We got a problem with the coaches. We go in and then we're going to bump it out.

36:27And you come up, you know, some individuals going to come out of that crime. But, you know, for the most part, when they come out, you know, you stand on your own like, okay, yeah, I'm ready for that. And I think it just gradually, you know, just like evolved into that. And then I think it really just came to form like on my way out of Cal. And, you know what I mean? I'm a, I'm a, at this time, I'm a huge Boosie fan. You feel me? And Boosie had that song, Beast Mode. I just always be off of that shit. Every time somebody come off that, like, yeah, I'm feeling it. Then I did a, rest in peace, Gaines Adams.

37:08We was at the Nike little thing in Orlando doing a photo shoot. And this lady had actually, like, asked us, we were doing an interview. and she like, yeah, well, you know, like, what's your mindset? And before anybody could say anything, I just, beat smoke. And she was like, oh, my God. Little white lady, too. And I'm talking about, like, you know, from that, it's always just been on. It's rocking. Yeah, that's a mindset, though, bro, because you could drill that. You could be taught that. Your coach could try to put it in you, but it's in you, not on you. You know what I'm saying? You know what it is.

37:52Yeah, it's in you, not on you. Like, you got to... You know what it is. You got to have something in you that's different when you got 11 other dudes standing between you and that end zone right there. But it's something in you that's like, I'm going to run through something, not around it. But you got wiggle, too, though. That's what they don't talk about. Yeah. Shine got wiggle. Yee, yee, yee. You got wiggle, too. Nah, you know what's hella funny about that is because, you know, with the gig got hot and, you know, Mike Robb, He pointed something out to me. He said, man, you know what? You the only position at running back.

38:23Running back is the only position where, you know, you got to get through all 11 in order to be successful. And then I take it a step farther because you feel me though? Like, realistically, I'm going to need the other 10 on my side to do their job as well. Yeah. You know what I mean? True that. So, I mean, you know, when you think about it in terms of, like, you know, how my personality is and how I rock, like, I'm going to always show love for sure. Because, I mean, at the end of the day, like, I understand what the process is for you to get from point A to point B in terms of no matter what you do, you're going to need a team in order for you to become successful.

39:10So, when I think about it, as I'm seven and a half, eight yards deep, I got to get through the offensive line. Wide receivers got to make sure they get they blocked. And then you got to make sure that all 11 don't tackle you. So, I mean, you know, you got to kind of have a kind of like a little off mindset to think that you can accomplish that. That's damn near 21 people that you got to maneuver through. How many times a game, though? On a good day. On a good day? 34. 35? Nah, that's a work day. A regular day, you probably 22, 25, especially for the era of football that I played in. When you the workhorse, you're going to see about 22 to 25 kids.

40:00Now, if you get 30, then we grind this up for sure, for sure. But to have that mindset, you know what I mean? You know, towards the end of my career, they started putting these little packs in your shoulder pads. And I think it will calculate the amount of contact. Really? And I remember after I finally let them put it on my, you know, our trainer came to me. Like, yeah, you walking like it. I'm like, walking like what? I come in the training room after the game on Monday. He's like, yeah, you walking like him. What you talking about? He's like, man, we did the research on your little box. And it totaled out to seven total car crashes.

40:55Come on, bro. And I was like. For one impact? No, from one game. Oh, they added it up. Yeah, they added it up. So playing in the game for me, he said, on like a 22, 25 carry game, it was equivalent to a seven total car crash. Did it feel like it? Hell yeah. What? Boy, that back ain't no joke. That's why everybody be busting jokes like, what they call it? You got a dad bod with that big ass back. I'm like, yeah, I need it. I need it. 13 years in the league, bro. Yeah. You ain't got no muscles, but you got a back. All back. Yeah, and a stiff arm. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, it's just, yeah, I mean, when you talk about, like, a mindset, and then the thing is, after you know that, now you know that, And you know how I was.

42:04I'm like, let me see if I can get more car crashes. You feel me? Like, let me see how many I can really get. I mean, now it's just like, all right, where's some contact at? You feel me? Like, let's get active. Then you start seeing what that does to the opponent. Yeah. That's what excited me as a kid. Like, when I started saying, hey, man, hit him in the body. I see what hitting him to the body do. Yeah. Hey, man, choke his wind part. What you mean? This stuff, I'm being told at like 10 years old. What you mean by that? He tired, man. Choke his wind. Choke him out. Okay. So I start seeing that, oh, man, he getting tired.

42:34I'm not. He got that wide look in his eye like, man, I like when that happened. It's that too, seeing what it do to the opponent, the mindset and the style of play or the way I fought. Nah, see, man, the thing is, you got to remember them helmets. Now, you can see that they tired. You don't want cats off you. You see their eyes when that red seat part like this, and it's that safety, or you hit that cone, and it's a quarterback right there, bro? Come on. No, I mean, because look. You can't see their face? They out there. A lot of them heads be down. They trying to size you up to see how they could, you feel me, get to your knees.

43:12But, I mean, you know, a lot of the times, like, you just see, like, equipment, body parts. And then, I mean, you know, I think that's where I was. Because moving fast. Yeah. Like, and it's like, you're just like doing a putt. But, so, like, and then, I mean, you know, So to me, what I think I took for granted was the fact that, like, the geometry to all of this. Like, I'm not knowingly, but, you know what I mean? I tried to make every run look the same, whether it was outside zone, inside zone. But my feet work was all the same. I lined up in the same place all the time. And the thing is, if I could get somebody to turn their shoulders just this much, then they all balanced.

43:55So when I do give them a stiff arm, it's going to look way worse than actually what it is. And it's just because I'm just using their momentum. But then, you know, you got them situations where you can look in their eyes and you can see them. And then it's like, all right, what you going to do? What you going to do? Because I had already made my move by the time I thought about what you're going to do. And then it's over. Now, the whole thing is over. By the time you think about what I'm gonna do, like I don't know who I was just telling, but he was asking me about the running back mindset. And I was like, I think the difference between good running backs and great running backs is the factor.

44:39Like as a running back, you have to have that. And if you talk to a running back and you ask them about a particular play that they had, and it's just like one of them ones, if they can explain it to you, it's probably because they sat down and they watched it or they predetermined something. But nine times out of ten, it's like, I can't explain it. Yeah. Because it's like, I'm in it. I just, and that's where that came in. Because everybody asks me, what was you thinking on that Beast Quake run? And realistically, When I go back and watch it, like, okay. But in reality, I can't think about what I was thinking when I seen that.

45:28I just had that. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. Because they tell you on the sideline, like, hey, all we need you to do is just, we just got to get the first down. You know what I mean? And, you know, we had the first down. And then everything else was, like, extra. But the thing was, I was the only one that was feeling it. you got the quarterback downfield blocking 60 yards downfield. You got offensive linemen. They running. You got Mike Williams who don't block nobody. He blocking on the play. You got Oboe who on the back side, he beat me to the end zone. And Oboe a dog too. Shout out Oboe a dog. Oboe on the whole other side.

46:12Kump beat me to the end zone. There's about three or four offensive linemen that beat me in the end zone. So, I mean, you know, it's just like with all of that going on, how could you remember what you were doing? Do you feel like in them type of situations, right, how your team feel about you? Do you see that show up in that field? Like, he going to put out for me. He going to make sure I'm straight. For sure. Like, I rock with Sean. If he get loose, I'm running with him. What? And, I mean, you got to remember, that was my first year there with him, and I wasn't even there a whole year. so now even just you even asking that question that that just lets you know like how tough they really rocked with me though and i ain't even made i mean that was the mark that was made but you know bro we was garbage bro we was seven and nine in the playoff bro like we just made it we wouldn't even just made it we were supposed to be at home you feel me Y 'all got in on Wild Card?

47:12Wild Card? Yeah. And was playing the same. And they was supposed to doggers because they just had came off of winning the Super Bowl the year before. But when I watched that, though, that fourth quarter, you know, the big dudes, they gas. You feel me? Like, you know, they thinking like, probably like, go down, go down. Hold on. Oh, no, hold on. And then for them to turn it up and actually, like I said, beat me to the end zone. That's crazy. I mean, that's wild. But that show you to kind of, when you talk about like the mindset, the grit, and then it become infectious. Because, I mean, like I said, you got Mike Williams who don't block no.

47:54He turned it up and was like, you feel me? I'm going to block today. And the quarterback, his wrist was broke. He running. He giving the hand off with the opposite hand and all kind of, you know what I mean? Like, and then he out there in front. Yeah. I mean, when you see something like that, like, that's, I mean, for one, that's motivation for, I mean, for you to want to play for your God. But then, like, you know, on some real, like, oh, y 'all really with your boy. And y 'all don't even really know me yet. So now everything that we're doing right here is just building, building, building, building.

48:31And I mean, you know, at the point when you can motivate, you know, individuals who is already at the highest level, like, I mean, that started to speak to your character and the type of individual that you are. You can impact and motivate professionals who at the, that means something. You feel like that's when the fans really fell in love with Beast Mode and start respecting you on a different level? No, I think that's when they was able to, I think that's, at that point, I think they was able to say, okay, we hear what they've been saying about him. Now let me give him a clean slate and show me who he really is.

49:20And I mean, like you said, I ain't never shied away from none of this that I did. Now, am I going to go into details and, you know what I mean, self-incriminating? Nah. But, you know what I mean? I'm not finna, you know, shy away from it or blame it on somebody else or, you know what I mean, oh, I was not in my right, like, nah. And I think that's what made people like, oh, he could do all of that. And he's just a real person. You know what I mean? And I think having that type of connection, because people like being connected to individuals. And when you're not so far gone one way or the other, and you're down to earth, you're cool, you're chilling.

50:17people, people could sense that. They could feel that. Yeah. Yeah, especially the, you know, up in the Pacific Northwest and Seattle, man, they good people up there, man, the 12s, man. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. How long did it take before you start embracing them? To be honest with you, I ain't gonna hold you. Like, it was probably when I first got out there. Really? Like, you know, I get traded and, you know, they like, hey you gotta go and I was at they landed me in Seattle and I went to some had you been to Seattle before? yeah you knew about Seattle? not like how I know about it you know I'm I'm thinking it's just like hella white people you feel me so I didn't really know that they really had you know movement and action and they had a chapter of Black Panthers up there you know what I mean between Seattle and Tacoma so you know what I mean But when I first got there, you feel me, I go to the bar and, you know, hey, you the guy we just traded for.

51:21Like, man, hey, don't worry about it. This on us, you feel me, food. And I'm like, and it's different. Because when I come from in New York, you know, they, when I get there, you feel me, they still got Confederate flags in some of the bars that I was going to. Come on, bruh. What you mean, come on? 2007, baby. Come on, bruh. Yeah. Dang. Yeah. But I mean, you know. Confederate flag is crazy. Yeah, for sure. But now Seattle, I think. Is different. Yes. Once I got traded there, it was like, it was love off the rip. Yeah. You feel me? They got, they call they town too. Yeah. That's not far from home.

52:06Yeah. It's not far from home. And you feel me though? When I, you know, like I said, like I get out, I go pop out to the schools. You know what I mean? I'm going to, you know what I mean, all the little spots to meet the people and see the different type of cultures and everything going out there. The only problem was the day I got there and for the next 31 days, it rained every single day, like nonstop, bro. Nonstop. That Seattle rain just be slow drizzle. It don't ever rain rain, it just be slow drizzle. For 31 days straight. 31 days. That was wild. But I mean, since they, you know what I mean?

52:51Since I've been up there, I feel like they just, I mean, you know, maybe it was like, they was looking at it like, he got an edge. You know, he different. like and and we kind of we kind of want that because at this time you know like uh Sean Alexander and them had went to the uh Super Bowl and and lost and then it was like you know they kind of fell off but even with them being you know having that run it was almost like we always get forgot about like always and then what I started to see was like within the locker room first it was like everybody in there had a chip. And we had, like, we had some, we had some, I'm talking about, you feel me, like some straight, like dogs, you feel me.

53:47And everybody had a chip on their shoulder. From Earl to Cam to Sean to Bebe, you know what I mean, Big Red, Me Bang, you know what I mean, Doug. Like, everybody had chips on their shoulder, you know what I mean? And then it was like, oh, yeah, and they don't show us no love. So now it's like anything that we was doing to bring, like, we went and brought the fans in. Like, I remember Pete was like, made a comment like, hey, we going, everybody wears something Seattle on Friday. We going to call it like Blue Friday or something. And every time you go out on Friday, no matter where you went, somebody got a jersey on, a hat on.

54:29The teachers is all the kids in the classroom at the business office. Like, you come in there with your jersey or your Seahawks shirt on. You go to any of the restaurants. Everybody got on. And I'm like, oh, yeah, they bought in. And now it was more so like, nah, you ain't just got to deal with the Seattle team. You got to also deal with the 12s as well. Now they like, oh, yeah, we been forgot about. And y 'all been forgot about. So now we tripping. And y 'all got some players on y 'all team that just don't give a – Yeah, y 'all. Yeah, we – yep. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right on. See, it be them small little places.

55:10I mean, Seattle, small, not small. You know what I'm saying? Like, it ain't like New York. Right. But it's not – you know, it ain't – Small market. Small market. But them small markets, that's all they got, really. That's it. And they going to go all in. Like, this is our team. Yep. You know what I'm saying? So it's a beautiful thing, man. But, man, tell me about your mama, bro. I'm going to take you back for a second, bro. Just, you know, anybody that know you, they know, they see the way you take care of your mama, the way you love your mother, the way you talk about your mother, and you see it just being around her.

55:39You know what I'm saying? You didn't have pops in the house, right? No. Yeah. No. Talk me through that, man, and just your mother working two jobs, raising four kids and all of that. I mean, you know, it was really the village. It was really the village. And, you know what I mean, Moms was the, I don't want to even say she played the roles of, she was the mom of the village. And I mean, it wasn't just like me. It was the community and the village of the people that surround us, from the apartment building that we live in, you know what I mean, to my little sister and all of her friends and teammates, my little brother, his friends and teammates, my older brother, all his partners.

56:27Like, you know what I mean? It was always Mama Lynch. And then it wasn't so much more just like, you know, we was a tight family. Like, everybody coming over to spend a night. So, you feel me? We loading up in the Pathfinder. Like, moms, you feel me, though, made a way. And the sacrifice was, all right, well, you want to bring all your cousins and your friends and come around like you're going to be wearing them same clothes. You feel me? Now that I'm thinking about like you're going to be wearing them same clothes because I'm spending all this money trying to make sure we could accommodate for all the people here.

57:01Like, you know what I mean? And, you know, maybe at the time I couldn't see it for what it was, but I never wanted to be like a burden to my mom. Even back then you felt that way? Oh, yeah, most definitely. I mean, that was when it really was. Cause I mean, you know, I got little brother, little sister and I'm like, you know, I'd rather them be taken care of. My mom, don't worry about me. I'm gonna figure it out. I'm gonna make a way. You know what I mean? So don't worry about me. If you need to, if I don't have to, if it come down to me not having to eat, just make sure, you know, boo boo and lemon eat and we gonna be good.

57:36But I mean, throughout everything, you know what I mean? The whole process, even like, I remember one of my fun, my favorite memories of my mama was one of the teachers was like, yeah, Marshawn retarded. You know, you need to go get him tested. She said that? Come on, bro. That's how I heard it. Come on, bro. So look, come on. She didn't say that. That lady ain't say that. So my mama like, my mama like, yeah, all right. You know, she took me to some little spot in Berkeley to do like some tests, whatever. So I'm in there. They got like little sandboxes everywhere. You feel me? Like, you know, all these little toys.

58:13I'm in there like, oh, this? You feel me? It's cold. Like, what kind of place is this? Not knowing that they sitting behind these glasses, you feel me? They back there taking notes, you feel me? Yeah. I'm going to let you come pick them up. You feel me? You know, I'm sitting in the little room waiting to go like, hey, can I go back in there and play with them toys? You feel me? in the sandbox. These are all the toys that you see on TV, too. So, you know, I'm in there like, what? Man, they got the bopping, spinning. Simon Says. I'm like, I've never seen all these before. Like, man. I hear, like, yeah.

58:56And I just hear my mama like, what? Man, hell no. Come on. Bunkie, come on. Like, we all like, hold on. Come on. I'm gonna play with this. I'm trying to play with this toy. So, I get up out of there and get in the car. She like, you gonna have to calm down. Like, what? What'd I do? You know what I mean? I just did everything. I answered all these questions and was drawing these circles and dots and matching all this stuff together. Like, what did you talk about? Yeah. Like, I ain't giving you no pills. I just remember her saying that. They ain't giving you no pills. The whole time, they was trying to give me the, what is it called?

59:40Ritalin and all the, you feel me, the, what is it? The ADD. Yeah, whatever, though. They was trying to give me all them kind of medicines. And my mama was like, hell no. Man, you going to have to sit your ass down in class and then, you feel me? I just remember her saying that. So, yeah, I mean, when I came to my life, I got to Cal and I had accommodations. Basically, I could take my tests with open note tests, open notebooks. I mean, I could have a tutor come in there to, you know what I mean, rock with me while I'm getting down. And I told her, I was like, Mama, you remember when they did them tests on me and was trying to give me all them pills?

1:00:24She like, yeah, boy, I'm glad I didn't. I'm like, yeah, I'm glad you didn't either. Because I see these kids that be taking this shit up in college. And I'm like, man, they be looking like they off crystal. They be looking like they off crystal off. You feel me? It's an upper. But then I be seeing, like, someone, they just be sitting there, like, stuck, like, can't move, just focused in the mud. And I'm looking around. I'm like, been in a trap? I done been in a dope spot. And this class looking real familiar right now. I'm seeing knocks in this life. Drowsy, you feel me, though? Because they got all them designer drugs.

1:01:11They Xanis. I'm like, oh, this is the trap. Like, this is... Like, my mom, I'm glad you didn't give me that. You feel me? like you feel me i explained that to her but you know moms was moms was you know that's that's damn near my uh my superhero bro like you know i mean like i done seen her go through a lot though you feel me? And I was always like... You know, never wanting to see her like hurt. And then it would just be times where, you know what I mean, you young, so I don't think you really know, but I'd be getting up, you know what I mean, go take a pistol, so this is when I used to hold my pistol.

1:01:55Man, I'm 40, I can't do it. You look now, bro. But I, you feel me, get up, go use the bathroom. Moms be in the living room just like, you know, just shaking her head like, like, what is she doing? I'm like, you feel me? She just watching TV and stuff. Mom's in there trying to put it together, trying to figure it out. And I'm just like, you know what I mean? Like, and the thing that I really love about my mom, like, you know what I mean? You talk about like, you know, my daddy. Like, moms was never the type of mom like, no, you can't see your daddy or he ain't blah, blah, blah. Like, she like, huh, go get your clothes.

1:02:33I'm finna go drop you off at your grandma's house because that's where pop is at. You feel me? or supposed to be at, but, you know what I mean? She never, you know what I mean, never tried to stop me from going over there. You know what I mean? At that point in time, that was a decision that I made. But then the thing is, you know, when I'm talking about it and I'm thinking about it, you know what I mean? I had an uncle, Uncle Lee, who called him up. You know what I mean? My Uncle Jason's Anthony, you know, all that from, you know what I mean, my great uncles too. So, you know, like a father figure and what's going on.

1:03:13And then, you know, growing up in the town, you got that street life. You feel me, though? You walking through neighborhoods. You know, OG's gonna make sure. Who you is? Who your dad? Who your mom? Oh, okay. Oh, you the... Boy, all right, yeah. All right, I... You don't be out here. All right, oh, yeah. Damn, who is that OG? I don't do. You feel me, though, bud? They looking out. And so we had that sense of community. And, yeah, I mean, back at that time, it's like, you know, you doing something outside. You feel me, though? And, you know, the neighbors is like, oh, hold on. Hey, hey, what you want me?

1:03:53Hey, come on. Come in this house. You feel me? They'll put you on time out in they house, though. You feel me? Put you on blast, too. You know what I'm talking about? And as soon as moms get home, you already know what time it is. There ain't even no talking. Why you had that lady? Why you had that woman call me when I'm at work? At work. And then, you know, moms is coming home tripping, too, because you feel me? She's firing, too. Back then, she's sweet lady now. What she used to get. She had to be, though. Yeah. She had to be. She was mom and dad. You know, she worked two jobs. Yeah. Man, bro.

1:04:25Yeah. You never met your dad when you was younger? I'm saying when you was younger. Yeah. You met him? Yeah. What was your, like, what? I think till like till like maybe like four. What you mean? I think he was in the house with us until like four. I mean, I don't really have no memories of that besides like going back and looking at pictures. Like, I mean, I was married too, you feel me? So, you know, I used to see some birthday pictures and then, you know, the wedding and all that. And it's like, oh, okay, but I don't remember that four, five years old to think back that far, like, you know, contact sport.

1:05:04You know what I mean? Some of them memories. And then it might be, you know, I might have buried them just on the strength. But, you know what I mean? When it comes to those certain points, then, you know, like, maybe in, I was probably like a, I was a sophomore. And, you know what I mean? I had got a car from my auntie, Stephanie. No L's, nothing. White bucket. I'm sliding that one up. Look at that.

1:05:32Like, I gotta learn how to drive. My uncle was teaching me, but, you know what I mean, I'm sliding through the west. We bump into my pops. What's up, brother? Good, you good? Yeah. What you got going on? Going to school, like, hey, but look, I got this car, feel me, my auntie gave me. Trying to learn how to drive. What's up? All right, for sure. I come up to the school tomorrow after school, and we'll go driving. I'm like, all right, for sure, it's good. I'm about 14, 15. So, you know, he come up to the school. I tell the coach, like, hey, bro, I got a missed practice today. He's like, what you talking about?

1:06:08My dad, he going to take me. We going to go drive. Like, all right, for sure. I'm like, you cool? He like, yeah, go ahead, man, you know, because he know my situation. Okay. So, you feel me, though? This is like one of the memories that I have when I think about Pops. Because my sister spent more time with him, and my older brother spent more time with him. So I'm like, this is what they be talking about. Because as we driving, you feel me, though? You know, he busting little jokes. You actually cool, bro. You ain't no, you feel me? You just a dope fiend, you feel me? But it's good though, you feel me?

1:06:54We slide doing, see? All right, pulled back up to school. He like, man, that was cool, bro. So, who that? Tomorrow, I'm like, yeah, for sure. Next day come, I get to where, get to practice my eight coat. You know, you gonna come back up here, you know what I mean? Like, all right, for sure. So, sitting there waiting. Like, all right, feel me? Like, I mean, time is it. So probably like an hour go by, and I remember Coach D coming, walk over, he like, hey man, go in there and get dressed. I like, like the dress came out on the field. Like, man, yeah, go down there with the DBs. All right, I go break down, and they're like, oh, what's up man?

1:07:42I thought you were going to drive again, man. I'm like, yeah, man. I'm like, I don't think Cud showed up, though, bruh. Like, you feel me? They're like, oh. Like, well, man, you got to guard me. Like, for sure. So, you know, I get wrapped up in that. So after practice, you know what I mean? Go to D, take me to the crib. I'm like, uh, yeah. So, uh, yeah. Bruh went back to jail. And I'm like, oh, damn. I'm like, I just thought he didn't want to f*** me. I'm like, all right. So you feel me? He went down and he was on for, he went down for what? When I was 15, he went to do a seven piece. Dang. And then they only let him out.

1:08:30Well, no, no, no. It was seven years until I seen him again. You didn't see him that whole stretch? No, hell no, because my grandma had died. my grandma had died and mom and they let him come out for the funeral and so I seen him there and now you gotta think like I'm looking at him you feel me though face to face now I'm bigger now I'm in my first year in the league you know what I mean and I'm like I'm like bro I should just crack this nigga and then I took a step back I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like I'm like, man, if I get on him right now, you feel me?

1:09:18This probably got some prison tactics. He probably got a poker ready. He going to pull something on me. You feel me? I'm like, I'm trying to size him up. You good, bro? He's like, man, I've been seeing you, man. That's what he said? Yeah. I've been seeing you, man. Ooh, ooh. And I'm like, man, do people be in there on your line? They're like, man, this only, you know, I don't really tell people. And I'm like, oh. I'm like, man, you make me solid. So go a stretch, come home. I mean, we're doing this thing, tripping, but, you know, I'm out the way, so I'm getting down. But, I mean, I think this was, like, after the first time that I had retired.

1:10:06No, no, this might have been the second. but he went he went back so now I'm like damn alright cause you feel me I'm busting jokes and y 'all like man you you go to jail this much you got a boyfriend right so I'm you know I'm busting jokes anything I can to just like you know what I mean like damn man you feel me like and I don't know what it was bro it was I mean I got into one of these little you know I mean you know retired trying to figure it out. And I'm like, man, you know what? I had talked to him on the phone, and I'm like, damn, bro, like you, like, man, you all right? Like, yeah, I'm good, you know.

1:10:51He had got hit, cut it. Inside? Yeah. So I'm, you good? Yeah, I'm good, man, you feel me? Woo woo woo. And I'm like, and I'm thinking to myself, like, you know, 80s, grew up, come strong in the 80s. I mean the crack era you fall victim to the you know what I mean okay how does like damn what was going you know divorce with moms and I'm like you know I know that my mom could be on one I'm like you know what man let me

1:11:28I'm gonna go in there and I'm gonna go holler at him and just hear his I wanna hear his story and And I mean, I called my auntie like, hey, what's up? I want to, I mean, get to, I mean, go see him. Like visiting days and this and that and that. I'm like, well, you know, I got some, you know, I got, look, that ain't going to affect me from going in or whatever. Like, no, I'm going to check it out and see what's up. So, like March 1st or 2nd. So I had planned to go, go see him. I was out of the country about to fly back in. And the day I was leaving, I get a call from my cousin. And he like, hey, man, you sitting down?

1:12:16I'm like, what? Like, don't do me like that, bro. You feel me? Like, I already know what's up, man. Just tell me what's good, bro. Because, you know, one of them kind of situations. They tell you to sit down. Yeah, but see, I didn't know where he was going with it. Yeah. But he hit me with the, hey, yo, papa just died. And I'm like, what? I'm like, nah, he couldn't have just died. I'm on my way to go see Dog. I'm like, we about to go have this conversation. Like, I'm about to, you know what I mean?

1:12:46And then I'm like, man, you booed. Then my phone started buzzing. My aunties called me. My little brother, little sister, my older brother, they all called me. And I'm like, damn. Like, he really, like, what happened? He had a heart attack. He was on the phone with my auntie Sarah, and he passed away. On the phone? On the phone. So I'm like, nah, hell nah, because, you know what I mean? I just talked to Auntie Bunny, and we're going to go see him. I'll go see him tomorrow. That's out. So I'm like, damn. And I'm good. You know, I talked to my grandfather, my mom, you know, my brother, my sister, my aunties, cousins.

1:13:28and I got an older brother that's just on my mom, from my mom. I got a different dad. And, you know, he played a big part in my upbringing. So, you know what I mean? I'm trying to contact him. You know what I mean? Find the answer. I'm like, bro. I'm like, he just told me my daddy died. And he like, what? And nigga, I just started crying, bro. You did? Yeah. And I'm like, Like, ooh, shit. Like, what the fuck? Bro, I'm talking about uncontrollably to the point where I'm trying to talk to my brother. And he like, hey, Sean, I can't understand nothing you saying, bro. Like, what is you saying? And I'm like,

1:14:18hold on. I'm going to call back. And I just hung up, bro. I probably walked for like, I'd say probably like five, six hours. Just walking, just having the conversation that I wanted to have with him in my head. And then it just, I'll never be able to have that conversation with Dog. After so many years of just like, I won't say putting it off, but like, I ain't really tripping. Like, it didn't really, to me, it didn't really affect me and the person that I was because I just thought it was supposed to be that way. I just thought it was supposed to, like, when I would go to somebody, one of my folks' house or something, and they had two parents in the household, I'm like, damn, it's weird.

1:15:10It's weird. It's weird. Like, why you got so many people in life? And why your dad talk in the house? Like, yeah, that's weird. It wasn't normal. It wasn't, it was not normal. You feel me? That's crazy. I looked at it like, you know, if you did just have one, like, that's normal. And then if you got a two-parent household, y 'all in there tripping. Because that's hella miles to feed. Like, you know how many gallons of milk you about to go through? How many boxes of cereal, bro? Like, we already fighting over it. You feel me, though? And it's just. That's another check, too, though.

1:15:53I'm oblivious to all of that, but I'm like, yeah, I mean, but so, I mean, you know, just, just having that and then, you know, having to figure out like how to come to terms with it. Like, you know what I mean? I play psychological on myself. Like, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, that's a conversation that I wanted to have. You feel me though? But understanding that I'm not going to never be able to do it. and then it was like more so I mean like maybe it wasn't meant for me to have because I mean it was like okay for so long you done put this off and then when you decide to go and actually do this something like this happened and I'm like damn well maybe it was a reason for that but I mean you know I don't like it was never that I hated You know, more I didn't understand, but I never let his absence dictate who, you know, who I was going to be.

1:16:54Like, I don't think I acted out because, you know what I mean, I didn't have no pops or, you know what I mean, nothing like that. But, I mean, it was tough, though, to lose somebody that you didn't know. Just knowing, like, the process when you start thinking about it. Like, damn, he really had to go slam mom. And then we got a little one and I'm like, man, you know, I'm just blessed because you feel me though. My mom tell me all the time, like, you look just like him. And then you feel me, you see me and all my brothers and my sister, we all got this like little pit bull body frame, but I ain't gonna hold you.

1:17:35He was kind of, he was swole, you feel me. You could tell he did not miss yard time, for sure. He ain't miss no rec. I seen your dad, bro. I think probably, I seen your dad for the first time probably like, I think probably like three weeks, maybe a month before he passed. I went into the prison. Yeah. In Tracy. Yeah. I went to go speak. Dude came up to me, bro. He looked just like you. Probably do. You had his dreads. You had his dreads, bro. I was talking to somebody, and I felt him coming up. So I looked. He said, hey, man, what's up with you, man? Hey, my son, Marshawn Lynch. Okay. As soon as he said, I looked at him.

1:18:16I said, dude, look just like Sean, bro. Just like you. I bet, bro. Shook his hand. We talked a little bit. And then he was yoked, too. He was swole. Yeah. He was thick. Yeah, he was swole. He looked just like you, bro. And then I heard about everything three, four weeks after that, bro. Yeah. How was you, like, man, bro, what did you, you know, besides that walk, bro, like, how did you, have you fully mourned your father? Like, have you fully, feel like you in a, you've healed in a better space? Sometimes it's ongoing, but I'm saying, like, are you in a better place? Yeah, see, man, the thing was, before the walk, like, I got to talk to my, like I said, my brother and my sister now.

1:18:59and I just was like, I was asking him like, hey, like right now with all of this going on, could you hear, can you hear him? Like, can you hear his voice? Like what his voice sound like or like something that he would say and they all had like, I'm like, cause like how was he, like his personality? And like, they all had similar to say about him. So I'm like, all right. I'm like, I don't know. I don't have that. I don't have that. And they're like, well, what memory do you have? And besides the fact that, you know, we was driving, they all was like memories of, like, you know what I mean, my Ford.

1:19:44Because I could see the pictures. And you feel me? I had a Nintendo with the duck hunting gun. Yeah, for sure. You know what I mean? I stole all that. TV and everything. Took it off. What? Going to get high. You feel me? So I'm like, damn. I'm like, that's one memory I have because I can put the pictures to the story that's told. And then I'm like, oh, man. And then you feel me, though? It was another one. We was at the, this one, when the Coliseum had the movie theater, the outdoor movie theater. Drive-in. Drive-in, yeah, bro. and uh, the dog took me and my sister to the, uh, to the drive-in movie theater, but it was, it was cold because the way, like we was in the hatchback for one, you feel me?

1:20:37But me and my sister in the back of the hatchback, you feel me? And we facing the screen, and you know, him and his person, they up in the front. Smoking. Smoking, nigga. I'm talking about. And the only reason I remember is because when my uncle was smoking, I'm like, oh, this that shit. So then when I get a little, I'm like, oh, that was in there getting high. Like, you feel me? Me and my baby since back then. You start thinking back as a kid. Yeah, like, oh! Like, man, I'm looking out with my little sister crying. I'm grabbing, come on. Because that's why I used to call it with you a little bit.

1:21:13My baby. I got my baby like I'm patting her hand in it, looking at the movie like, it's all right. It's all right. It's okay, baby. She was crying because they were smoking. I don't know why her ass was crying, but she probably was hot, nigga. Yeah, I mean, you in the car, bro. She probably was hot, bro. Y 'all in the car, bro. Bro, in a hatchback at that. That's crazy. Loan. I'm like, man, like, you feel me? Like, but, you know, the memories, them was like the memories that I have. So while I'm talking to them, they telling me like, no, he was hella cool. Like, you feel me? He used to, he would do this.

1:21:50He was hella funny. You know what I mean? He was strong. You feel me, though? Like, he could dance and all this kind of... I'm like, I don't have none of them. So having them conversations with them, I think that helped me as well as, you feel me, that walk. And for one, I ain't gonna hold you, bro. That cry that I had... Yeah. I ain't gonna think I... I don't think I've never cried like that. And it was so unexpected because it's like... You know, like, you know, I don't really know when our relationship ain't like, now I just know that this is, you feel me though, that this is pop. And I mean, you know, I think that opened me up to a level of like, uh, vulnerability and, and, and, and, and, and like getting a touch with like, uh, a feeling, like something and bigger than just like tangible than being like, cause I'm like, damn, I must really, you know, have some passion or compassion or whatever that's called for this individual.

1:22:58Cause like, I don't really know cause like that. But I mean, you know, once I started to come to terms with like, I'll never be able to have that conversation. And then I'm just like, well, my thing is like, I don't never want to sit and dwell on things like that I can't control. So I just started to think in a, in a, with a better mindset and a better space. Like, you know what? Maybe it wasn't, it wasn't for me to have that conversation with him. But the fact that I know that I had a connection enough to where, you know, he passed away. And then, I mean, you know, it was COVID was, was, was, was, was yanking at that time.

1:23:37So it wasn't like we could do a service like that. So we end up saying like that, but we end up doing the service at the restaurant. Oh, for real? Yeah. Your restaurant? Yeah. Damn. So I'm like, man, you know what I mean? Got the family. What y 'all got the body though? Cremated. At Cremated. Yeah. So, I mean, you know, it's just, I mean, I don't know what part of that of me is just more so like, you know, I can't, I can't, you know, I don't want to say dwell over things that I can't control, but, you know what I mean, the lesson that, that it was for me was, you know what I mean, even though I knew that he wasn't, you know, a part of my life, I could still feel a way for him because, you know what I mean, he's a part of the reason that I have life.

1:24:27That's your word. And he is a part of the reason why I am the way that I am. so I mean you know I'm thankful as hell for that like for real for real like you know what I mean so I mean you know like I said it take a it take a team and this and that and then I mean you know it just showed me like there's not no no resentment that's good you know what I mean so I what it showed me in the grand scheme of things is like my heart is pure yeah it's pure like for sure for sure yeah you know it's crazy bro Looking back at the 80s, 70s, 80s, it's a cold time. Yeah, he was sick. It's a cold time, bro. Like.

1:25:10Choose a hub of rock over your family. It's that serious. You sick. Yeah. You sick, bro. It's that strong. And I think that helped me chop it up, too. And it don't make an excuse for it, but it gives some context, though. Like, that's what you're dealing with, man. You know? Like, you know, my daddy dealing with the heroin addiction. Like, he was present, though. He just didn't leave, but he had addiction for a long time, bro. But he was a man's man. He had his own business. His thing was, I ain't leaving. That was my daddy's thing. You know what I'm saying? My mom and my brother's mother, they was gone.

1:25:42So they was in Frisco doing their thing, dealing with a crack addiction. But when you step back and look at what they were dealing with, bro, man, they was dabbling with stuff, bro. They didn't know what it was. Exactly. You know, they was just, they was, hit this. And at first it make you feel good. And then you realize that, man, I can't stop. It's too late now. It's too late now. So I got my dad, heroin, my mother, crack. And that's what I grew up in. You know what I'm saying? So it just gives context, bro. It's a sad situation, bro, because you know how it is, man. A father's supposed to be with his son.

1:26:16Even if it doesn't work out with the mother, man, you want to try to beat her as much as you can and vice versa with the mother. But it don't always work like that, man. You got a beast like heroin or a beast like crack or cocaine or alcohol. Like I'm talking about like, it's rough. Yeah, that's real, bro. But I mean, I don't know, bro. I think, I don't know, man. Growing up in a town, bro, it just, like, I mean, it's a super, I feel it's a super powerful show, but it make you numb to a lot of, and I mean, you know, I'm just glad that, you know what I mean, it made me numb to all of the rights.

1:26:54you know what I mean and when I think about it in terms of like you know how families is now and the way that you know what I mean kids is being brought up like I mean we don't need we don't need fathers you know what I mean and or mentors but like real men you know what I mean to start you know what I mean I don't want to say start because they is doing it but for some got a kick in our community, in the black community to where that becomes the norm for us. We lose right now. You know what I mean? And then when I think about it in terms of like, cause I don't like comparing, but I mean, if you need an example to look at it because of something that you didn't have or you feel you should have had and you're not getting it, like, you still got a way out.

1:27:55You know what I mean? Like you say, you know what I mean? You had two parents fighting addiction. You know what I mean? I just had my pops. And, you know what I mean, being able to sit here and the first thing that we talk about is business on a different level. You know what I mean? And it ain't, I'm trying to get in your business or you're trying to get in my business. But, you know what I mean, we done came together and done business together on another level. And it's like, that's got to be the norm. And it ain't got to be a situation where this is something that is out there and known for the masses.

1:28:34But we taking small wins, you know what I mean, behind the scenes and growing and doing something that we never probably thought was possible, which is creating generational wealth. And they adding up, the small wins add up. And I mean, you know, it might not be the prettiest or, you know what I mean, the most flamboyant. And, you know what I mean? But it's just certain that I really pay attention to. And I don't, you know, it's just a blessing. But Foti say, don't go buy no$85 ,000 car before you buy a house. He's saying buy a restaurant, put in my mama name. And I'm thinking, damn. But it was, you know what I mean, he had some bars in there, so I'm going to find it.

1:29:20I'm going to give it to you. And when I thought about it, start a clothing line. I mean, not understanding what that was, but learning the business on that. And then not only is it becoming a clothing line, but it becomes a brand. He's no S.O.G. And he, like I said, he's the most flamboyant, he's the most flashy, but, you know what I mean, the the blueprint to get there and the imprint that it leaves on the the community and the world like you know I never thought that I'd be able to go to different countries and they talking about beast mode what are you talking about hey come on you know me family what's happening like no it's like who you know I mean you know where you came from.

1:30:14Exactly. You know what I mean? I know for sure. I don't know if yours was like mine, but you feel me, though? I wanted to get a cool on feet, you feel me, though? A scraper, you know what I mean? Something with a slap, That's all you wanted, really? That's all you really wanted? That's all we seen. I'm like, man, if I could get a scraper with a whistle in the back. With a whistle, too. With a hee, with some slap, I'm good. I'm good. Not even knowing, you feel me? And especially at that time, wasn't nobody too much really riding forings like that. You feel me? I'm on the strip. You feel me, though?

1:30:53And all us boxing, you know, Stang, Marrow. You know what I mean? And it's like, yeah. 415, and Bok Shev going. And it's like, you know what I mean? That's what we seen. That was like the pinnacle of it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, you good. Not knowing you finna go pack out of ravens. Like, we ride by the Coliseum in the Mormon Temple. Like, look at Disneyland up there, though. You feel me? I had the Coliseum. Like, damn, damn, you feel me? You gonna pack that thing up. Damn, bro. You know what I mean? It's like. It's a blessing, bro. With all the trials and tribulations, like, you know what I mean?

1:31:34Most of the time, when you win it, it's like, damn, I, I, I, I, I. there's no way out of this. And then it's like, yeah, I mean, there's something that clicked and it registered to you. And then it's like, hold on, well, I mean, it might didn't start off right, but that don't mean it has to finish this way. And then when you want better for yourself, then that's when you start to see the change. And then you start to see the change around you. And then that change around you start to change again. And then that's the people that can and are willing to change to be able to go with you and the ones that's not pretty much fall to the waist.

1:32:16See, that's the key, though. I'm going to take that back to what we were talking about earlier. So we were talking about how you're growing and, you know, who stays with you and who don't. Can your family handle it? But that's the thing. If they can't grow with you, that's the problem. Because a lot of times they want you to be that little kid that they always knew. And it's like, yeah, I know you this, but don't make sure you don't never change it. hold on that's between me and God what change and what doesn't change like I'm supposed to evolve because if I still got that same mindset we're not gonna make it very far because because where I'm going I can't think the same now I still got love for y 'all I still got love for my city I still got love for my family but that's the key if they can't grow with you that's where the fall-off happened a lot of time yeah that's the fall-off right there you change no I am changing are you changing yeah are you changing with me are you growing with me you should be you know I'm saying Yeah, but that's why I said that.

1:33:08Bro, that's it. You got to want that change for yourself. It hurt, bro. It hurt to see, like, my situation, right? We don't have no family reunion. We don't have nothing. Like, family, like, whatever family I still got, they... My brother came up with me in boxing. It's all bad. It's all bad. We had the same opportunity, same household, same struggles. It's all bad. We both was running for a minute. in the streets and then boom I gave up I was like I can't do it no more he kept going yeah and now he looked back and it's not good it's like but I see the value though right like I don't understand it all but I see how God separated me and my family we're not better than nobody but he but he shielded us and separated us over here brought other people into our life too I wanted it to be my blood but that's just not what it was supposed to be bro so when I be around y 'all when I be around like the family first and I see your mother, that feel like my mother, you know, and I'm thankful for my mother.

1:34:10My mother in my life, she doing good. It's a blessing, man. I love my mother. Yeah. But I'm saying being around that type of mother, like she a neighborhood mother. Boy, what's up? What's going on with you? You know what I'm saying? I love that about y 'all's situation, Sean, more than anything else, bro. You got cousins working with you, four, you got family, bro. I be seeing and I be like, man, that's cold. It's a blessing, bro. Drake, see the, thing is, we can still do that you can't do. Like, we can fight. I can still fight their ass, you feel me? You can't fight them. You don't understand how much of that is like a, yeah, yeah, I had to, yeah, uh-huh, you say that, that's like, we still get them up with each other.

1:34:54All of us. Me, Marcus, Josh, Reb, Fred, Zed, Pete, my brother Dave. Like, when you say that, it's crazy because because the same breath, I'm getting ready to go to the draft and my brother and my cousin go down for Orm Robert. So when you talk, I mean, there's somebody who introduced me to the game. You know, I'm a youngster. Take me, this was a part of that upbringing, I think that helped me come into that mode too. But you know, I'm seven years younger than my older brother. That's who I'm going to play with. So while I'm playing, you know, all these sports, I'm playing with individuals who are seven, eight years older than me.

1:35:42And it ain't like they, like, trying to title me and take it in. Like, no, we don't want you to come with it. But, nah, hell no. Y 'all going, I'm driving my bike. I'm right behind. You feel me? Oh, we finna play football? Cool. We playing tackle? Yeah. Yep. Y 'all can't. I ain't trying to hear that. Yeah. All right. I got something for you. Ooh, step back. Stupid. Got you. You feel me? I'm out. We hooping. We doing everything. You feel me? My brother, that's why I'm saying like, my brother really, you feel me though, he really solid, but he's shady though. Yeah. You feel me? We had sex, Timber Scalp, ooh, bro.

1:36:22Like, man, I could flip, but I couldn't swim. Tell him, man, I want to swim. I want to do my flip. I can't swim. You can't flip over here because it's shallow. You're going to hit your head. I ain't trying to hear that. All right, well, come over here. I'm like, but it's deep. It's 10 feet deep over there. Man, do you want to do the flip or not? Yeah, I do, man. This dude drag me down and throw me in the 10 feet deep. Yeah, can't swim. I can't swim. What you going to do? If your ass can't swim, your ass is bound to drizzle. Boy, I got that. You know what I mean? End up on the swim team. You feel me?

1:37:06You know, that's how the shoulders do the shoulder thing. But I have no idea. But, you know what I mean? Them type of thing. But when you talk about my family and having a breath, I don't think none of this would mean, you know, nothing for me had I not been able to experience this with my family. Like, it's a lot of times, like, they like, hey, you know, Blasier, Blasier, we want you to do X, Y, and Z. Like, no, I'm cool. What? Like, yeah, no, I'm cool. Like, but you don't want to be like, no. You know, I call moms. What's up, man? Yeah, they want me to go to this. Hold on, we going where? I said, man, I said they want to see if I want to come.

1:37:51Like, no, yeah, we got to go. You know what I mean? I go to certain things and pop up a certain, just for my family to be able to experience it. Like, man, y 'all go ahead and enjoy that shit. You know what I mean? Oh, it's an opportunity. Hey, you know, I want to bring, you know, moms and families. For sure, bring my mom. I want to have my parents. Oh, yeah, for sure. I got my god kids with me, my niece and my nephews. They're like, yeah. Oh, that's cool. You know what I mean? and that's what for me like because I mean you know growing up I don't know if it's something that you know I mean I've always been like you know I don't know middle child syndrome like it can go certain kind of ways but I don't expect nothing so being able to I mean show them some things like you know one of the best feelings that I get be you know I mean when I pop up on a on a show or, you know what I mean, a commercial or something, and, you know, the kid's like, is that Uncle Sean?

1:38:57You feel me? Like, or I get a call like, hey, did I just hear you was on, you know, this TV show? Like, I watch that show all the time. Like, why you didn't tell me you was? I don't know. I forgot. Nuh-uh, because I just seen. Yeah, that. You know what I mean? That be the reward to, you know, all of the work, you know what I mean, that's put in. You know what I mean? To see them, to hear like, uh-uh, you got to come to my school because they don't believe. Like, hey, you ain't got to prove nothing to nobody. And then I come pop up at the school and you just see all the kids like, and now they like, yeah, I told you.

1:39:40I told you. You know that? You know what I mean? I just go pop up on my nieces and my nephews. Mm-hmm. I just, hey, where they at? They at school? All right. And I just walk up to the school. I said, where is, you know what I mean? Excuse me, is your name up? Hold on, hey, call the school. Tell them I'm good. Tell them I hear you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Kids come to the office like, no, can you come to my class? Because I want you to meet my teacher. Like, nah, but you know, that'd be the, that'd be the, the, like I said, the reward for me with doing all of this. I think that's why you always going to be blessed, bro, and you always going to have what you need to have because you always thinking about other people.

1:40:25I always see you consider other people even above yourself a lot of times. You know what I'm saying, brother? Business, personal, family. You know, I see it all. I've been seeing it for years, and that's only the little bit I see. I don't know. I think that just comes from a point of like, I mean, I just, I'm going to be all right with a little bit. I'm going to be all right with a lot. I'll be all right with nothing. Like, I just feel like no matter what situation I'm in, I'm going to be all right. So in terms of that, like, if I can help somebody in another, I mean, put somebody else in an opportunity in order to be successful, I have no problem with that.

1:41:08Like, at all. And then, I mean, I don't want to help you, you know, reach what you want to reach because I'm looking for something in return. You going and trying, you just going and trying is enough for me. Because, I mean, I listen to so many people talk about, oh, yeah, when I get this, I'm going to go do that. Or, yeah, man, I'm going to do this and I'm going to be doing that. And I never seen them go and do it. Ain't never seen it. I never seen it. So, you know what I mean? When I do see somebody actually go for what it is that they want, I'm like, yeah. All right, that's cool. Now, if I helped it, all right, cool.

1:41:55If I didn't and you still went and did it, that's cool. And if you don't, then it's like, don't come to me telling me about what you finna do and blah, blah, blah. Nah, don't do it. And then once I see that, and then I could be some of them systems, then yeah, I'll rock with you. But I mean, you know, it's a situation. And I mean, you know, that comes from my first time in, not my first time, but we have a rookie premiere. And, you know, all the rookies that get drafted, we all go to these, like this little conference thing. And, you know, I just remember the first person that was speaking, And it was like all your family, all your friends, basically.

1:42:40And what I heard was, everybody who you came up with, leave them alone. You can't do business with them. I mean, don't help them. Protect the shield. And I was like, in my head, I'm thinking like, well, I can't help my day ones and protect the shield at the same time. And that was the way that, you know what I mean, I was thinking. But to hear somebody tell you, like, don't mess with your family and don't mess with your day one, that was a hard pill for me to swallow. I mean, I don't think I was finna be about that. And so everything that, like you said, tell you that you can't do, tell you all of this, it all started to play a part.

1:43:24Yeah. Yeah. Man, you finished out your time in Seattle, bro. Super Bowl XLVIII. Blowout win. Super Bowl 49, no. We ain't got time to get into it. I ain't going to do you like that today, but I'm going to just say, brother, you should be a two-time Super Bowl champion. I don't know how. You can have a dude whose nickname is Beast Mode and be on the one-yard line, half-yard line, whatever it was, with, I think, two timeouts and four shots, four downs, three downs, whatever y 'all had, and not get that man the ball. But you retire a year later during Super Bowl 50. Why did you do that during Super Bowl 50?

1:44:01You threw the cleats on the line. That was in the North, right? Yeah. Why you do that during... I was at the Super Bowl and I seen it. I was like, what this mean? I know that boy. You knew exactly what that meant. It ain't what I wanted it to mean. You knew exactly what that meant. Bro, when you see... I ain't been on... I'm not on the other side. So when you see somebody you love, somebody you rock with, just do that. I see why people be mad. Because it's like, you feel like they just put a seat from under you. A chair from under you. Hold on. You ain't tell nobody? It was one of those. Yeah, for sure.

1:44:35And I remember getting my agent called. I ain't even get to leave the spot yet. You ain't tell him you was going to do that? Hell no. Ooh. So he like, man, are you serious? I'm serious. It's cookies. I mean, I was good, bro. I mean, my thing was, I was, I enjoyed. playing football win lose or draw like i i enjoyed it i enjoyed going out there smacking well you feel me though you know i mean i enjoyed the pressures of you know i mean having to learn the plays i enjoyed the pressures of you know i mean playing uh chess because at the end of the day that's what i i started to look at it as like i enjoyed the process to get ready But I was like, you know what I mean?

1:45:29At the end of the day, it's not like I was chasing. Like, I'm not chasing. I'm not chasing and want to have the most yards in the NFL, the most touchdowns, the most rings, and nothing like that. And then, you know, I got to a point where I was like, you know what? I can be able to take care of my family. You feel me? Mom's eating. Brothers and sisters eating. You know what I mean? We good over here as a family. Like, yeah, I mean, at this point in time, I done gave, what, 12, no, 10. I think 12? 10 years at this time. I done gave 10 years. I came back two with the Raiders. And then, yeah, so I finished with 13, but at that time it was 10.

1:46:09So I'm like, yeah, I mean, the only thing left for me to do in this league is to go out there and get hurt. because, I mean, everything else I done done. You know what I mean? Everything else I done done. I mean, I love the game. It gave me everything. You know what I mean? I gave it everything. And now it's to the point where it's like, okay, now it's time to live life without, you know what I mean, having to. Be on that clock. Yeah, man. Be on that clock. And I was not ready, though. Yeah. I wasn't ready. I ain't going to lie. I wasn't ready to live life after. Bro. That was hard, bro. Talk about it.

1:46:53And retirement different, bro. I tell people this. I say, I wish retirement on everybody, but I wish retirement on nobody. And they don't understand what I'm saying. It's a blessing, but it could feel like a curse, too, sometimes. Yeah, because, I mean, you got to think for some, I mean, since the little one, you've had to you know during the season you know and then it's like when you don't have that it's like what you do I had to I had to learn how to make a schedule and get on a schedule and I'm like it's nothing that hold me accountable to this schedule but beside me and that's the hard part cause it's like yeah I go make this schedule okay I'm gonna get up at 6.30 in the morning I'm gonna go meditate and pray and then I'm going to go get in the sauna.

1:47:45I'm going to get my workout in. I'm going to shower. I'm going to go look through my emails. Go do-do-do-do-do-do. And then it's like life hit for real. And then it's like next thing you know, that next day after that, yeah, I'm going to set my alarm for 6.30. I'll wake up at 2. Like, That ain't on the schedule. That ain't on the schedule. What is you doing? Oh, hold on. I got a meeting. Hold on. And now it's like, yeah, oh, you got a flight. And I'm like, oh, I took for granted. I took for granted how to schedule, to schedule a day, a realistic schedule, what that looked like. And then, you know what I mean?

1:48:21My first eight months of retirement, like, I wasn't at home. I was on the road. I was going. I was here. I was there. I was this country. I was that country. I was doing this. I was doing that. And I was like, yeah, I didn't plan for this. And then, you feel me? And now it's like, well, yeah, you busier now. I'm busier now than I was from when I was playing. Because when I'm playing, I could just, nah, I can't do that. I got to get ready to go to work in the morning. Or, hey, if I am, you could come and do. But now it's like, I don't have nothing stopping me from actually going to go do the things.

1:49:02And it's like, okay, yeah, I enjoy doing that, so I'm going to go do that. And then the next thing you know, you booked until February because now you got the football season and you know what I mean? You still a pillar in that space. So now that's going to take you all the way to February. And then, you know, you got all the other things after that. You got NBA this and then it's this fight. Then it's, you know what I mean, oh, now I'm taking pictures. Oh, yeah, they want me to come do a signing over there. Oh, they want to, I just signed on to do this TV show. And then it's like, hold on. It's August again?

1:49:48By the time you look up and realize, like, you know what I mean? We, what, I just went to the game in Seattle Wednesday. had I not I probably would have ended up in Australia at the or the other games yeah Frisco and Rams game like so I mean you know just figuring that part out yeah but then understanding that that's a blessing because most people in my situation when they done they don't have them opportunities so what that look like what do that look and feel like yeah because I think staying busy, you don't want to just be busy to be busy, but staying busy, like we had a mission. We've been having a mission since we've been kids.

1:50:37We got to get ready for the season. And that's a mission. You go to college, same thing for me. I was knee high. We got to get to the tournament. It's always something. And then, that's gone like that. Like my first couple years, brother, I competed in everything. We playing cards. We playing checkers. We playing chess. We playing basketball. We playing everything. I got to exercise. You know what I'm saying? That competitiveness. But I got to stay busy too. And you know, projects and this and that. I couldn't imagine some guys go home and they sit down like this, Sean, and that's it. That's it.

1:51:16Nobody calling. There's no motion. There's nothing going on. That's scary. Yeah, but I'm not even. I'm not saying I'll take your rest. I'm saying, I'm not saying, and I got a family too. So my family, I'm with my kids. So I love to go to the games. We practice. I'm getting my kids ready for the season. They making sure they're doing their homework. That's, to me, that's fun. I love doing that for my kids. You know what I'm saying? But you did come back. Two years with the Raiders. You came back with Seattle for the playoffs, which was crazy. Yeah. But you said, you made a comment, man, and I want to end with this.

1:51:49You made a comment at the press conference about the young players taking care of their body, their mentals, and their chicken. Yeah. What does that look like for you? You seeing stuff with, like, Chris Johnson. You know what I'm saying? Played your position, right? And Chris Johnson was Chris Johnson. He wasn't even old, like, of course he taking, but he wasn't like a bang, bang head fart. He going to speed and you see something like this, Sean. So how do you take care of yourself post-career and how does that affect you when you see that? First of all, shout out to Chris Johnson. And then, I mean, like, you already know, like, that's why I said, like, this is easy money.

1:52:34You know, I call you, hey, Dre, who your person is? You got, you know what I mean, to do the blood work, this, that, and the third. Like, first of all, I was taking care of my, I was not taking care of my body. And I mean, you know, I live a different type of lifestyle where I smoke, I drink. You know what I mean? I be outside, around and all that kind of stuff. But it was more so like, all right, I'm not going and running every day the way I was. So, you know what I mean? I'm not making a point that I take care of myself. So, going to go see Dr. Drobot. Drobot. Drobot. Drobot. Yeah. I call that man Drobot for sure.

1:53:11Shout out that boy, too. But, you know, going to go get blood work, going to go see, you know what I mean? What's going on internally with myself. So going to go do these, like, these scans and, you know what I mean, all of that, like, taking the necessary steps in order to be proactive in, you know what I mean, my health. I mean, that was a part of what I didn't know was that was a part of me taking care of my mental and my body at the same time. Yeah. But then, you know what I mean, being able to find time to actually get down, bust down, and get some movement in, like, you know what I mean?

1:53:48And then if you do have some things that's, you know what I mean, that's off or not working right, like I said, doing proactive, they're going to go get that shit out. Going to go make sure that, you know, your body is functioning, you know what I mean, at the right time. Because, I mean, you know, we're getting, you know, you get older and stuff don't, you feel me, don't move around. And, you know, usually wake up and just go attack the day. now i get up gotta stretch a little bit more and i ain't never been nobody that like stretches so you know i mean but then also taking care of your chicken though you feel me like that was that was self-explanatory yeah in my mind when i was saying it but in terms of like you know i mean making sure you got the right the right financial team around you you know i mean you accent you know people say the right questions i'm gonna say asking the dumb questions that you think is dumb, like you have to ask them in order to educate yourself.

1:54:47Because if it's in your mind, you got to say that in order for you to get that understanding. So then when you do ask the next question, it's not the dumb question. It's the right question. You know what I mean? Like my first question to my financial advisor was, how do you spend money? Yeah. And it sounds so simple, but no, there's a way that you spend money to where, you know I mean, get them tax refunds and tax breaks and, you know what I mean? But you have to ask them kind of questions in order to know what is the right question? What's the wrong question? How do you, you know what I mean?

1:55:24How do you prepare yourself for when you don't got them constant checks coming in week in, week out? because the reality is as many people as I talked to in that press conference, if I could probably go back to that press conference and see, like, you know, I was basically telling them, like, I'm out again. How many people who was on in the NFL or the NBA or the MLB or the NHL or any of that, how many of them players that was their last game too. Because every league is drafting somebody in and some of them players never, a lot of those players never put on another uniform for a team again. And they had to go and figure it out.

1:56:22But then when you start talking about your mental, we see a lot of guys committing suicide. suicide. I mean, the effects of the weight of the world starts to hone in on them. And it's like, when it's gravy, you don't think about it. And I mean, I was saying it at that time for it to be known for you to start to do that. And I mean, you know, I think that's the Holy Three when you think about it in terms of like, what an athlete need to do. I think that covered everything in which, you know what I mean, to be successful. Not successful as an athlete, but successful as a person. Yeah. Because we trying to live a long time, bro.

1:57:14If God say the same. You know what I mean? You know? Trying to last, not come in last. And then have a quality of life, too. Like, living is one thing, but then trying to have a quality of life, too, where, you know, I can think, I can function, I can enjoy my family, I can enjoy the money I made, I can enjoy the fruits of my life, it's a whole thing bro you know but I think man we gotta continue to speak on it and we gotta try to continue to walk it out so people can see it cause sometimes you can teach it other times they gotta catch it by watching they gotta see an example like man I seen Sean do it I seen it and it ain't gotta be perfect it just gotta be done yeah that's it that's it but nah that's real talk man and when you talk about about Chris too like you know I don't know if it was like a...

1:58:04Like an unspoken thing. Like, it was never like, oh, I'm trying to be better than this person. Or I'm trying to, as the running backs in our generation. But it was probably like this unspoken thing. You can look up on the scoreboard like, oh, damn, CJ just went for a... Damn, he just went for... Damn, he had 190. Yeah. Like, damn, I got... I got a hundred. I don't know if I'm damn alright he got me AP AP cheating bro you feel me like you know what I mean damn in your mind you competing but in reality it's just like for me I'm looking up there and I'm seeing and I'm like hell yeah that's what time it is alright now you went for that now I gotta go get mine motivating you feel me though and then to see him in this situation and then, you know, hear the things and you know, that he going through and the message that he putting out.

1:59:09You know what I mean? It's right on brand for him. You know what I mean? The message that he putting out. But I mean, you know, it's situations like that that just show you. You know what I mean? Because I mean, this like you said, not like a banger type situation, but you know what I mean? You just never know. You just never know what that situation is going to look for you. But the better you can prepare yourself while you're younger to get to that point. Because, I mean, you know, he could probably be mad as hell and just like, you know, like, you know, some like the world type. It's like, nah, he got a sense about, you know what I mean, the family.

1:59:53You know what I mean? The kids, the wife, moms, you feel me? the message that he want to put out to the younger generation of athletes. And, you know, one of the things that I really liked about it was they asked him, like, if they told him this would be his outcome, would he still play football? And he said, yeah. I mean, maybe I would play a different position, but I for sure would play football. And that gives you an insight of the kind of character that this individual got. And, you know what I mean, this is somebody who, you know what I mean, I rock with. Like, when I look at certain running backs, it's like, you know, you get running backs and then you get, you know what I mean?

2:00:34Then you get, he wanted him. Chris Jones. Yeah, he wanted him. He the kind that you, feel me though, had we had him here in another chair and you didn't know him from a, you would be able to sit down with him right now and you would feel like we wouldn't miss a beat. Yeah. because he one of them. He come from one of them type of backgrounds, one of them type of soils, you feel me? And I got a lot of love and respect for Big Dog, bro. And I mean, you know, with this situation, it's just, you know, more information and more learning that, you know, I have to go and do myself, like to do my research on what it actually really is.

2:01:17And I mean, you know, I get an opportunity to go and sit down with him to do something like this. So, I mean, I'm glad you brought it up because, man, you know, it's been heavy on my mind just because, you know what I mean, as I'm growing and figuring out, you know what I mean, how to do this, and then I feel like I get the opportunity to sit down with somebody and it be so meaningful. Like, man, this is a good opportunity for me to start thinking and processing how I sit down with him and have this kind of conversation. so I'm gonna tell you I appreciate you for that but uh and more so like thank you for bringing that but also letting me get an opportunity on your uh on your platform you know what I mean to talk about it cause I mean that shit a lot though bro yeah yeah man it's all good bro yes sir you know I uh I watched these two and uh one of my favorite running back I just love how he got down you know it's different with them cats from Florida it's like not just on the field but they just love to play football.

2:02:23They always smiling when they're on the field. Like, man, it's just, we treating this like, you know, we was playing in the neighborhood. Like, it's just a bigger stadium now with more people and brighter lights. But it's the same mentality. So, man, my heart go out to him and his family, and I appreciate, too, him fighting that battle publicly, too. Because he could easily just say, nah, I got to figure this out on my own. I see y 'all on the other side. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm going to have to fight it, and I'll keep y 'all posted through or whatever, you know? And you know how it is too, Dre.

2:02:53You know, like, it might be somebody who you don't talk to all the time, but every time you see him, it's love. Yeah. And, I mean, you know, we reach out to each other every now and then just on some like, man, what's happening? You feel me? You good? And then, I mean, you know, if he come my way, hey, I'm in Vegas, or you feel me, whatever. And if I get to Orlando, hey, I'm at, you feel me? And I mean, it wasn't too long before, you know, he put it out. But I had went to Orlando and I was filming something. And I'm like, man, let me hear, you feel me? Let me tap in with bro and see what's up.

2:03:32So I tapped in with him like, what's up, boy? I'm out here. Let's go. You know, let's go have a drink. Let's go sit down and eat or something like, you feel me? Like, bro, I'm not in town. I'm like, all right, well, cool, man. You know, throw me a couple spots of something I could go to. You know what I mean? Look for a chill kickback vibe. You know, he sent me a couple restaurants or whatever. And I said, all right, well, look, man, when you get back to town, you feel me? Because I got to come back out here again, you feel me? I'm going to reach out and I'm going to tap in. And, I mean, it was good.

2:04:05And then, like, maybe a week later, I think it was, it might have been Good Morning America, where, and I'm like, oh, I didn't even know that, you know, bro was going through this. And I'm like, I think if I would have, I think I would have pushed more to like, you know, where you at? Like, what's up? Where can I? Because I mean, you know, like we come in this league, bro, and you build a brotherhood and a friendship. And you got so much love and respect for individuals. that, you know, when it come to a point where it's like, you know, if you got something like this going on, I'm going to still show love and respect to you the same way that if, you know what I mean, you had an opportunity and you was doing, you know, a party or, you know, you got an event where I could come and support and I could show love.

2:05:00But, you know what I mean? You know, we solid individuals. Like, if we rock with you, we rock with you. And that's what it is, regardless to whatever it is, however it comes. So, I mean, you know, being able to go in and holler at him, bro, is a good thing for me. And then I'm not sure, like, even when, you know, they was doing the ice bucket challenge, like, you know what I mean? And I remember I used to see it all the time, but I never had did one before. And so when he, you know, he asked me to do it, and I'm like, all right, cool. So, you know what I mean? Do my little thing and I do it. And I'm like, ooh, like, because I never felt that before.

2:05:44Like, what the? Oh, and somebody that was there was like, this is what they do this because this is the equivalent to what they feel. And I'm like, so hold on. He feel this like all the time. And I couldn't I couldn't imagine that. I couldn't imagine that. bro. That shit was, I can't even explain it. But it's like the ice bucket challenge. I guess that's how you would say it. Yeah, it was different. So, man, but that's why, you know, like I'm saying, be proactive. Yeah. You know what I mean? Taking care of your body, taking care of your mind. You feel me like? I mean, you never know. And then they got this thing out there called a pre-newval.

2:06:33Yeah. and we do a whole like little scan thing. I don't know if I'm ready for that. Man, I had to. You did it? I did it. It was the worst 45 hour hour because that it was small. It was smaller than the I put the gown on went to the back. I said, I can't get in there. Oh yeah, you in there like this. I paid the money and everything. I just ain't do it. Nah. Because they put the face thing on your face by your face. Yeah. Can't do it. Maybe later. Man, I tried to go to sleep. But you good though. And once you do it, though, you good. Yeah, I had some little, uh, some OG shoulder little situation.

2:07:11You know what I mean? But considering, bro, 40 in my running style, like, knees was solid. Ankles was good. You feel me, though? My back, my back bend. But, I mean, you know, body was good. But then when you think about it, it's like, I mean, you never know. You know, but it do, you know, look for tumors and cancers. You know what I mean? all them kind of type of little situations. And, you know, to come out of that where they said like some degenerative... Degenerative. Yeah, something like that. And I said, out of 13 years in the league, bang, bang, seven total car crashes per game. Like, yeah, all right.

2:07:51You know, my boy God did his thing with this one here. You know what I'm saying? I'm all right. Man, I appreciate you, dog. It's love, man. We're going to keep praying for Chris and his family, man. Appreciate you, big dog. Keep doing what you're doing, bro. Proud of you, bro. Man, blessings. Appreciate you. That's it, man, for another episode of The Art of War. Yes, sir.