The Advice Hour

31:15Yes. So I think you need to have a universality to what you're doing. Agree. I think if you want to do Ezekiel 2517 from Pulp Fiction, I don't think that's going to go well. I wouldn't recommend it. if it's really important to the bride and groom, like if Pulp Fiction is their favorite movie of all time, maybe just sprinkle in some, you know, they speak English and what? You know, like stuff like that. Maybe people would appreciate that. In general, I think movie quotes are for dorm rooms. You know, like they're not in podcasts. Yeah. And or the ceremony. We had readings for movies at my wedding.

31:53That's fine. But yeah, I think for these speeches, like funny anecdotes about the people. And you got to pick the right one. Nothing too embarrassing. But... Speeches are tough. I haven't given a speech in a while. You gave a very nice one at ours. Thanks. I had a run there. Yeah. When I was in my 30s. Sure. I was given a lot of speeches. And I've been de-speechified. Okay. How about one for Amanda? Good luck. Pretty, you know, I'm jealous. Love a wedding. Love a wedding dance floor. I'm way out of rotation on weddings now. Way out of rotation. I mean, I like I had my one over Memorial Day. And when the Pink Pony Club hit, like I just absolutely lost my mind.

32:32I was so happy. And then and then I had to take the early bus home to fly home to my children. But like for three moms love Chapel Rhone. They just love Chapel Rhone. It was like it was it spanned generations. Like all the all the coolest people. The 25 year old cousins were there. The 30 year old cousins were there. Old mom was there. And then I sprinted to the early bus. When we were, when I was in my early thirties, I was working at Graylin and it was like a very hard, very intense time of work. And I skipped like probably 10 weddings in that time. Cause I was like, I can't travel. I'm too busy.

33:06Huge mistake. My other piece of advice, go, go to all the weddings. Like you'll figure it out. You'll figure it out with work. You'll figure it out financially. Those are times that cannot be taken from you if you pursue them. There's nothing like it. You can't recreate it in any other phase of life. Okay. Love a wedding. Brian writes, Dear Amanda, can I base a romantic relationship off a mutual passion for cinema? I, 24-year-old male John, recently reconnected with an old high school classmate, 23-year-old female Sarah. She knew I was interested in film and wanted to catch up. We started to see each other casually, watching foreign films at the cinema and hanging out a few times a month.

33:47After going to the new Wes Anderson, we went on a walk. I was very prepared to discuss how the Phoenician scheme fits into Wes Anderson's film canon. What I was not prepared to talk about, however, was the future of our relationship. After a brief unpacking of the movie, Sarah told me how she thought what we had was special and that she loved spending time with me. I really didn't think that was where the conversation would go and I kind of panicked. I said cool and avoided eye contact for about 30 seconds. I said I thought she was great and that I appreciated how open and vulnerable she was, but regarding our future, I was in quote kind of a weird place.

34:18I don't know how much we have besides our passion for movies. I don't know if we'd hang out without it. Am I leading her on? Should I keep seeing her and see if my feelings change? Is this enough to base a relationship on? I don't want to be an emotionally unavailable film, bro. Am I? Yes. Okay, listen, listen, listen. Early 20s are hard. And when someone is being vulnerable, emotionally vulnerable, I understand the panic, okay? Like I understand in the moment you don't know what to say, you don't know what to do, and you don't know how to respond. Many great, you know, dramatic moments in film are based on this.

34:56I'm not saying the right thing in the right moment. So that's okay. Listen, we live, we learn, we make mistakes. I would have liked you to be a little more prepared, but it's okay. like I you know I I do think that a mutual interest in something and liking spending time with someone is like a pretty good foundation for any sort of relationship if the spark isn't there the spark is not there I you know but are you sure the spark isn't there that is kind of what I'm saying. That's, I, like, it seems like you were taken a little aback. I don't, I don't, I think that cutting her off and ghosting is like a really stupid way to live life.

35:40Um, is, is what I would think, is, is what I would say. If you, if you have someone who you like spending time with and you have a shared interest. I, let me just give you like a very caveman response. Yeah, the spark's not there so you're not going to do it. Is Brian into this girl? Right. he's 24 yeah he doesn't have to pursue a relationship with somebody he doesn't feel it for i think that's true but he's like should i just like there who like movies like should i run for the hills and i think that kind of sucks do you think that sarah reconnected with john yeah and used movies as a way to get closer to him because she wanted to be with him or is she a real head is she like i also will explore the themes of the phoenician scheme Excuse me.

36:27Why does it have to be one or the other? I'm just asking a question. Why can't she be interested in movies? Well, she can be. I mean, here's the thing. And is this another Sex and the City thing? Or is this just something that someone said in life? It's like, and this will have to take us back to a time when there were Cavs, which I don't think Brian or John or Sarah or anyone remembers. But so the way the calves worked before Uber is that they would drive around and if it was available, the light would be on. And if it was taken or off duty, the light would be off. And, you know, I do think this applies especially to men, you know, either like the lights on or the lights off.

37:07And it seems like John here, the lights off, you know, and so and that's on him. And if his light is not on, then I guess he just needs to be upfront about it and move on. but as the woman in this situation you just kind of have to cast around and be like well is the light on today or not with this person so much of it is timing as you know so interesting to me though because I just was never in this life I know I never really had any experiences like this I never like the light is on I was never looking you know very famously like I don't think that Zach and I would be married if you and Chris hadn't moved because there was this thing where like Zach and I met But when Sean and Chris still lived in New York and then you guys moved to L.A.

37:50like pretty soon thereafter to start Grantland or to be a part of Grantland. And so then Zach was like, I don't have any friends, so I guess I could date you now, which is like he says it's different. He didn't say that. Yeah, but. But. Time freed up. That's OK. He was like, you know, it was just kind of like, well, I guess. He was more available. Right. It was like now a different phase in my life starts. You know, a different light is on. Zach and I were together like three to four days a week at that time. No, I remember. We were together a lot. Yeah. Yeah. So it's, which is kind of the same thing.

38:23It's like he was like not really in the place until he's not. And so. His light went on. Maybe it's not that. And you were the fair. I guess so. Yeah. And you've been on a ride ever since. Here we go. What's the fee at this point? How long have you been driving around for 15 years? The whole time. It's maybe not that you're emotionally unavailable. Maybe it's just that your light is not on. But I guess in that case, are you leading her on? I don't know. I like maybe a little, but if you can be upfront about it, I also don't think that. You should totally close yourself off. But if you're not into it, you're not into it.

39:06And I guess you should be upfront about that, you know, because people can be friends and like movies, too. I think if you're a real cinephile and you're attracted to this person, this person also is like, I like to spend my free time doing this. Gotta give it a shot. I agree. If you're not attracted to the person, don't. That makes no sense. But in general, I also do think that more young cinephiles should be using rep culture and letterbox culture to get together. I think the number one missed opportunity at all the rep theaters is singles nights. Let's go. I want to hear the stories. I think it's a perfect place to meet someone I don't know why we don't like well there's not a lot of talking involved well let's facilitate that you know they all have bars so you want to do like mixer night at Vidiot's yes okay and you want to be I think that this is you want to be the Lucy the Dakota Johnson of this space no in no way materialist to rep screenings will my hair look like that will the rest of me look like that that I would accept otherwise no okay but I do think I think that like a shared interest is a great foundation for something.

40:12But you're right. Like, if you're not into it, you're not into it. There's so much good chat on the YouTube stream. People agree with us or no? I think a lot of people were deeply wounded by that message that Brian shared. They were just like, what is this guy's problem? Well, sure. Yeah. I mean, because a lot of people have been like 23 and out there. Like, I'm not listening. Cool. Oof. Yeah. It's really, really tough to be dating and to be single in your 20s. Oh, I'm getting a question. Or in your 30s. What hair products do you use? You? Yeah. Yeah. What is the... The Japanese teak. We've talked about this.

40:45Oh, that's right. Lavender teak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's got good hair, you know? It's like... It is one of his gifts.

40:56Beloved New York Mets SNY director, John DiMarsico, is in the chat. Hi, John. John. John, I'm familiar with your work, even though I don't... It's mostly on Twitter that I'm following it. John obviously has emerged as genuinely a legend in the last few months. Absolute legend. It's very cute that everyone else has been on the broadcast. I'd love to go see a Mets game at some point. This is his question. Hi, how do we get Amanda to a Mets game? I mean, I... I hear all the cool kids are doing it. Jack was just in Colorado. We saw Wags on television in New York. I was on television in Los Angeles when the Mets were in town for the Dodgers.

41:29When are you getting on the big screen? I would love to come to a Mets game. I will be in New York in August. and again like the thing is October that's playoff season you know so I know and I believe in you guys but it's like it's like a hot ticket I can't be like please it is a hot you know get me in for the so I mean I'll be going yeah you know actually I did not go I told you this like yeah when I was in town for the New York Film Festival last year the Mets were playing the Brewers right and I was just incredibly nervous for every single game and so I didn't go to any games I just sat quietly in a hotel room like near tears hoping that they would win and they did but I love I love going to baseball games.

42:03I recently went to Fenway for the first time. Saw a Dobbins start, which was incredible. I really hope that we get to go to a Cubs game when we're in Chicago. That's our plan. Yeah, you guys like did not respond for like 24 hours. I was detained on Saturday. I basically have to, like I guess I just have to schedule a meeting with the two of you to get you to sit down and actually make plans. I know, but it's also you just, you won't plan unless I like... Chris Ryan and I are saying? Yes, unless I just like hold eye contact. You and Chris make plans and I'll roll with it. That's my whole thing.

42:34Okay. But will you be gracious about it? Always. I'm a gem of a human. Let's go back into the chat. What do we see here? Guys, no offense, but I'm not answering any questions about Blu-ray players today. Yeah. Hey, Sean, fellow Telluride goer here. This year will be my sixth trip to the mountain. My question's for you. What's your favorite Telluride memory? What's your favorite screening experience? Very easy. Very early in my first trip to Telluride in 2019, I saw Uncut Gems and roughly half the audience was either mad or walked out because they were 68-year-old men and women and they hated the movie.

43:09But those of us who stayed were treated to a joy. And that was like an interesting indicator of what my time there would be. That's a very quick one for that. You have to go to Tell Your Own at some point. Before we're done doing this show. Hold on. We got one from Michael in the doc. I just discovered I'm going to be in Venice during the Venice Film Festival. Oh, yes. Can you share any favorite spots you found during your trip? Hey, Michael, me too. accreditation came through this morning. Oh, great. I know, which, you know, I was going to be pretty mad if it didn't. But anyway, my favorite spots.

43:39So I don't, I mean, I don't really have any. I like to stay in Dorsoduro, which is like very close to, so not on the Lido because I can't afford the Lido. And this is the thing, people who go to Venice for the Biennale that anything but cinema will tell you to stay on the Lido, which is like a separate island. and then commute back and forth to events. But when the festival is on the Lido, it's kind of all booked up. And so you got to take the shuttle. But the shuttle's pretty easy from San Marco. And I don't know. Everywhere has Negronis. It's all pretty great. I think Da Ivo is the name of the George Clooney restaurant.

44:21Yeah, that's right. George Clooney owns a restaurant in Venice? No, no, no, but he likes it. And he's regularly photographed there. Can we do a brief rundown of what movies people think are going to Venice? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there's an unusual number of U.S. titles that are slotted for Venice potentially this year. Those movies include After the Hunt, Luca's next film. Maybe One Battle After Another. I don't think it's going to happen. I know you don't think it's going to happen. I mean, we're arguing about it. I think there is a case because I know the general thing is like you don't want to premiere at a festival, have bad reviews, and then have it just like sit there.

44:56But it's really only two weeks between Venice and the scheduled release date of one battle after another. So in that sense, don't you want... It's like a month. It's like a month. It's September 26th. Yeah. That's right. I guess you would want them to be opening night, which would be like August 27th. I know, but Leo on the red carpet? Like, don't you think, you know, full glitz and glamour? Something crazy is going on where I told you this. Like, they did more test screenings of the movie. And I've got like legitimately five or six people in my DMs. Like, it's sending me plot details. and stuff in the movie.

45:27Do not send me any information about that, please. Okay, one battle with another. Catherine Bigelow's White House thriller for Netflix, possibly. Yeah. Jay Kelly. I'm hoping for Jay... I mean, Netflix often goes to Venice because they're welcome. I would guess that that would be Venice and Telluride. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because Noah will play movies there, too. Caught Stealing, the Aronofsky movie, which I don't think looks very good, personally. But Bagonia, the new Yorgos movie. He usually premieres his movies at Venice. Smashing Machine, Benny Safdie's next movie with The Rock. father mother brother sister invite me to your party Benny I know you're out there thank you Ballad of a Small Player Colin Farrell playing poker in Macau great Edward Berger's new movie Hamnet Chloe Zhao's I know I'm stressed out about that but that also makes sense Frankenstein from Guillermo del Toro will you watch it of course okay Roofman I watched Pinocchio ciao papa yo papa here's my other thing about Venice and I did just say I like there's a bunch more Yeah, Benny Safdie, I'd love to come to your party.

46:28But one tip is like, you know, Venice is a series of tiny islands. You don't want to go to a party where you just like are stuck on a random island at 11 o 'clock at night in Venice. So for the most part, I would say skip the parties unless you have like a certified ride home. Because then you're just like walking around being like, do I have to swim home? That's my note. Okay. Must have baby products? Let's go. Must have baby products? My wife and I are expecting our first baby. This question is for you both. What are your must-have baby products? And which ones did you buy only to not end up using?

47:05What do you got? I mean, noise machine, obviously. I use a hatch. Yeah. Oh, you do? Yeah. We use my voice. We use the therapist one. What's the therapist one? You know, like the white, like standard issue. That's right. You're afraid of therapy. But so those of you, those of you who have found healing will recognize the white voice. I don't know what that is. I literally don't know what it is. It's just like the white machine that sort of, you know. But what does it have to do with therapy? All therapists use it. To do what? To block out the noise in the lobby so you don't have to worry about being overheard.

47:40Yeah. So to create like a safe. Oh, like they'll play a noise machine during your session? Outside in the lobby where other people are waiting. Interesting. Okay. Gosh, I don't know. Definitely a noise machine. Yeah. I really like the Nanit. the monitor right is really effective i still use it i know yeah we are addicted to our phones so we opted to not have the monitor on the phone we just have like the um the end you know the old school you can hold the camera yeah yeah you can hold the monitor and with psi we did upgrade to a split screen so we can have them both wow on one very fancy um it's really loud though so then i And the technology is not great, but I, you know, whatever, a monitor, I guess, according to your needs.

48:26One of the carriers. We never really used it. You didn't? No. We used it a ton. I think that we use Ergo Baby. Okay. Thank you to Sarah and Dan, who are probably listening and gave it to us. Let's see. Stroller. Gotta have two. Well, okay. Travel stroller and regular house stroller. You do have to have this travel stroller. And this is a little, this is like driving culture specific. If you live in New York, your stroller needs are going to be different. The first thing I'll say is that strollers are insanely expensive. So Facebook marketplace, like ask around for friends, see what you can do.

49:04You know, reuse or whatever. I swear by Yo-Yo Baby Zen. This is like my number one thing that I'm the most passionate about. It folds up. And so you can fit it in a travel, like an overhead compartment on an airplane. But also it's like very easy to just store in your car and, you know, unfold when you need. It moves well. And then for a newborn, you get the car seat adapter. And so you can just go like bloop and take the car seat out and put it in the stroller. So it'll last you from, you know, newborn all the way to, I mean, we still use it. and for both kids now at this point they kind of fight over it.

49:46You know what the biggest the biggest game changer was for us was sleep sack. Sleep sack or Merlin's sleep suit. We did use a Merlin and it was good but it was short lived. Yeah. It worked for a minute and it got her to sleep but the kite sleep sack was legit. That was in our life for a long ass time. Oh ours are Knox still wears them. Charles is still napping. Yeah. But he also sleeps in it at night. No. way past that. Yeah, and then he walks around in it, and then I'm like, oh god, you're gonna die. It's pretty dangerous. Yeah, two kids in kite sleep suits. Okay, here's a very normal one from a normal guy.

50:21Hey guys, my stats. 5 '9", 195, bench 205. Pickup game comp is a short and unskilled Kurt Thomas. Shout out to TCU. First, I just want to say that I 1 million percent co-sign the recurring Dobbins hot takes around preventative dentistry. That field is largely a sham and just a sales funnel for unnecessary wallet biopsies. For what it's worth, I am a physician with some expertise in evidence-based medicine and scientific literature interpretation. This is my guy. This is very, very, very sus so far. Here is my question. The Rosillo Life Advice emails always begin with a semi-scripted set of personal details from the authors.

50:55What would the BigPix version of those be for your listener-submitted mailbags? Number of movies logged on Letterboxd, top four movies all time, duration of time you can hold up five-pound weights? Yeah. What do you think? Was it five? I thought it was three. I honestly don't remember. Zach recently did one of my like workouts at home and like got cooked by it. And then was like, I was thinking of like Sean's like insane, you know, you just like, you don't know how hard it is until, you know, and you're durationally holding out the weights. I've been doing more heavyweights though. Congrats. Thanks so much.

51:30I mean, I'm cycling it in. Oh, awesome. Sure. So that, that seems good. Okay. How the minute count for how long you can hold out. Yeah, or just, you know, maybe kind of where you are in your macro journey would be a helpful thing to learn. Okay. Okay. Letterboxd top four seems good. That seems like a nice one. I think we probably should need to know age just for generational purposes. I agree. Not to be ageist, but, you know, we want to meet you where you are. Let's see. Anything else you need to know? I think like a... very weird personal anecdote at the top of these is always meaningful. That's the best way to get our attention.

52:14Yes. Just be like, you know, I woke up in a cold sweat one morning and I realized I haven't seen materialist yet and I need to see it. So that I can be part of the Marxist revolution. Okay. Let me see what else we can do. Let's look, let's look in the chat and see what people are saying. If they're being normal. How do I handle a friend who doesn't like film centered around quote bad people? Example. She doesn't like dazed and confused because the characters were degenerates. Do I even stay friends with this person? This is what Caden asks us. Okay. Interesting question because this comes up a lot now in movie discourse.

52:45Yeah, and it is sort of like a generational way of reading things. I mean, so there are two parts of this. There's how do you handle the friend and do you stay friends with the friend? How do you handle the friend? I think speak your own truth, like, loudly and as respectfully as you can. But as we've proven, you don't always have to be that respectful. I don't know. Like, I guess people can watch movies however they want to watch them, but they don't have to be right. And you can watch movies how you want and do your thing. And there is something to be said for, like, being able to talk about movies with someone else, even though I would also find that point of view, like, slightly infuriating.

53:28But, you know, live and let live. Should you stay friends with the person? I think that this would be a pretty severe reason for breaking up a friendship. That's just where I am. I think it's an indication of a lack of sophistication. If you feel uncomfortable with art because it shows behavior that you don't agree with, you're simple-minded. I mean, I think that's true. But it's like every question here, and we've gotten a lot of questions about how to negotiate various relationships relating to or not relating to movies. and if you start cutting everyone out for like every minor or you know or every transgression you're not gonna have any friends you know it's like nobody's gonna last it's not about minor transgressions it's about if you're a movie fan it's a little hard to understand movies if you reject them because of the behaviors exhibited in the movies as you get older and like we had another like i thought a very lovely question about making friends in your in your 20s and how hard it is and it's like really hard um your 20s are hard in general you're just expected to like like start a new life all by yourself and know exactly what you know i like i'm very sympathetic to all of you you're going full youtuber now wow what you just turned into emma chamberlain oh my goodness i i actually have never seen emma chamberlain i mean like i've seen stills but i don't know what she's like anyway being in your 20s is hard so i get it then the friendship thing is hard even as you're an adult.

54:59It's not that hard. I mean, it was hard. Stop being, stop being a man. Okay. Like just no one. Yeah. It was, it was, it was hard being broke. That was really hard. I have empathy for that. You also, in your twenties, you're like, you're fit, you know, you can stay up all night. You can go explore the world. Like, you know, it's like, it's not that. You married your high school sweetheart. You just like, we're not going through any of it. because of not having a relationship. Of course, because then you don't, well, it's not just that. it's not just that but it's like you had a fixed point around which you were like building your life you know and everybody else is just out there being like i don't know like i guess where should i live what should i do who should i be friends with how should i think about the world like what are all like i have all what time should i wake up in the morning you know it's all like what should i i don't know something you go from a world like with lots of rules no rules at all uh so i think i have i'm weirdly empathetic point of view from you uncommonly empathetic for people in their 20s I still think people in their 20s are like pretty stupid, but like, you know, that's because they haven't lived.

55:59The truth is, I just think everybody catastrophizes the generation that they're in, the era that they're in, no matter what. So no matter how old you are, when you're 12, you're like, why can't I be older and get what I want? When you're in your 20s, you're like, why can't I have the things the way that I want to have them? When you're in your 30s, you're like, oh, I can feel things slipping away from me. Is my life really what I want it to be? When you're in your 40s, you're like, well, I made my choices and I'm stuck. When you're in your 50s, you're like, God, I wish I had done things differently when I was in my 20s.

56:21When you're in your 60s, you're like, wow, I have cancer. When you're in your 70s, you're like, I beat cancer. But shit, I'm in my 70s. When you're in your 80s, you're like, I can't even remember anything. When you're 90s, you die. I mean, that's true. Nobody is ever happy. I'm honestly kind of thriving. I mean, the world's going to shit. And I'm really upset about that all the time. But aside from the flyaways and everything, I'm doing pretty good. So what I would say to you is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. And that your 20s are a little weird. in terms of the friends thing something like you're not going to find that many people who can like be your friends for everything you know who like check all of the boxes agreed so maybe this person isn't your like letterboxd friend maybe this person is really fun to like you know watch baseball game with or like go out with or i like i don't know what do you like to do but it's you know you're just trying to come up with hobbies i don't know like other friend stuff besides like agreeing on the macrame you know you like cycling do you know about macrame i didn't know that come on well it's always interesting what you know and don't know it is interesting um well my knowledge is so vast so thank you for saying that anyway so this person is maybe not your you guys aren't gonna like vibe on movies but there are other things in life what people in the chat are great They're just like, I'm about to be 50 and my life is shit.

57:48I'm sorry, Nick. I'm sorry that's true. If it is true. I'm glad that you're thriving. I'm sorry that people can't make friends. I don't know what to say about that. Like, that isn't the purpose of this show. Like, how do I make friends? You said life advice. It's really hard. I've told this story before. And you liked friendship for the exact, this is, you know, it's underexamined. It is actually hard for all of you to connect. The under-examined part of it is that there are men out there who are looking for friends who might murder you. Like, you have to be careful of those guys because they exist.

58:21But my thing, like, I did a very modern version of friendship when I moved to New York, which is that I sought people out with like-minded interests. And I literally just cold emailed them. I've told this before, but I cold emailed Chris Ryan. And I was like, hey, man, I don't even know. Zach and I met through mutual friends. And we sort of, like, formed a group of people who were all into the same stuff. but honestly I think cold emailing somebody every once in a while I thought it's not as safe and normal as it used to be I think that's kind of psychotic personally yeah I've never done that in my life and I have never cold emailed anybody that you like when they you like something that they wrote or that they they did or really you know me but like you know me like I'm absolutely not because are you afraid of being rejected like what was your concern uh no there's a level of vulnerability there that is just you're so weird you're like you're like talking all about like yeah baby sleeping and whatnot on a podcast in front of like hundreds of thousands of people i think that you're overestimating what's possible at 9 30 in the morning on youtube but um no i don't i mean in general on the pod but still like yeah you wouldn't email someone who you admired and so like i really like what you did here i mean well as you know i don't like to actually meet heroes so no I definitely wouldn't do that um no I but I prefer why are we even in it like what is it even for I like I'm the exact opposite Matt Bellamy and Craig were talking about this on a recent episode of the town where Craig um did not introduce himself to Ana de Armas at the premiere of Ballerina and Matt Bellamy was like why not don't you want to make contacts contacts and Craig was like not with Ana de Armas at the premiere of Ballerina which I love Matt Bellamy but like team Craig on that.

59:59You know what I'm saying? That's a little different for me. It's not quite the same as, you know, I met Quentin Tarantino. Like Anad Armas doesn't really. I love meeting Quentin Tarantino. But I didn't email him. You know, you got to, you know, you guys are buds and then he came in. But like Anad Armas, that's not Craig's hero. That's a woman that at least jokingly Craig is very attracted to. So I don't quite see the connection there. But I think, I mean, that speaks to how Matt operates. Yeah. than Matt. It's just like, hello, I'm Matt. Right. And that's how you become like an incredibly well-sourced reporter.

1:00:32It's true. Cult email. That's weird. I'd like to thank JYK000 for noting Sean constantly deriding Amanda for being confused by his insane takes is what will fix this country. Thank you for understanding this pod very deeply. Let's see what other questions we can get in here. I've been considering having regular rep screenings of movies at my house for close friends. Any tips for home screenings or hosting in general? I mean, you host parties. You're home screening. You know, what's your setup? Yeah, it's boring. It's a large television. It's not a projector. There's not surround sound audio in there.

1:01:12That's a future project. I'll get there. You do have lighting control. I do have lighting control, yes. We could really work on that at my house, but window treatments are hard. Yeah, California in particular, the sunniest of the states. I like the sunlight, you know, so I want to let it in most of the time, except for when I'm watching films. Yeah, that is a big challenge. Hosting tips. I mean, it goes back to the deodorant, the smelly people question, you know, which is like you want to come. You want to set things up in advance. You know, you can kind of guide people to the most natural place.

1:01:49you know you can kind of set up the seating ahead of time have the snacks ready so that people kind of know where they're supposed to go okay take some of the anxiety out okay let's i mean you know i have another pertinent question for you that's sort of related to decor this question comes from tyler parker oh hi tyler the ringer our buddy is tyler watching right now i hope so um i just saw tyler last week one of the best i haven't seen him in a long time even though we live incredibly close to each other we do yeah uh tyler asks amanda why aren't books smaller. I don't mean shorter. I mean smaller.

1:02:22Most books should fit in a back pocket. Oh, Jacob Elordi style. This is a big thing. You know about this? Where Jacob Elordi is like he's doing the boy version of being paparazzi'd with a book, but he's always... He's either carrying a Bottega Veneta bag or he's got like a, you know, on the road in his back pocket or whatever. I'm sorry. It works for me. It's just, you know, sometimes we have... You're such an easy mark. We have to be honest. You know, sometimes the most obvious thing works. I think it probably has to do with, you know, font size, Tyler. You know, it's like if it's that small.

1:02:59Okay. And it's of length and it's not a collection of short stories. And Tyler, you know where I stand on short stories. And it's write a novel, you coward. Tyler did write a novel. Tyler did write a wonderful novel. Yeah. A little blood and dancing. Great book. Yeah. Available wherever books are sold. So... I mean, I think that's mainly the issue, you know, it's just also the other day we were trying to fix our printer at home and I had like real respect for the invention of the printing press. You know, like they always talk about, you know, like in when you're learning history, they're like this changed the world because suddenly like literature is available to the masses.

1:03:36And I do get that on like a sociological and intellectual level. But also like it is 700 years later and like we still can't really print that easily. You know, it's just like something's always wrong with the printer. So from a technological perspective, I like I really salute them for figuring that out. And I don't think your HP inkjet at home is quite the same as what Gutenberg was up to. It's a brother or something. But like the first problem, the general the general problem that we're solving and that Tyler's asking about is remains the same, which is like, why is it so hard to turn ideas of the mind?

1:04:15into something, you know, tangible that we can hold. And I'm getting more into audio books. Got to be honest. Started listening. Can you, can you, I cannot do it. It's like, I cannot focus on them. Like in the car? Like any, like my mind starts watering, wandering immediately. No, it's pretty easy for me. I just started re-listening to a Robert Altman biography that I love. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Okay. Let's see what Omg just started this. I'm Kristen. Amanda just wished me a happy birthday. made my whole year. Hi, Kristen. Hi, Amanda. You've convinced me not to do retinol. This is the advice I was looking for.

1:04:50There we go. It works. Yeah. This program works. Whatever works for you. Hmm. What else? What else can we get from the chat? Everyone is just very spirited here. Okay. There's more people watching now than there was an hour ago. Okay. So that's pretty good. Let's do like maybe 15 or 20 minutes more. How do you feel? That seems great. I don't have the chat open. Should I like be in the comments? No, but now it's going fucking crazy. A lot of people asking about what snacks should I put in my golf bag for Band of Dunes where I played golf? Oh, this is so, like, it's really. I've seen at least five banded questions.

1:05:18The other. Can I share one banded tip? I'm sure your husband made you aware of this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They sell something at the courses. Yeah. Called protein golf balls. They come in a sleeve, like three golf balls would come. And they are these odd protein balls that are like peanut butter, oats, hemp hearts, and a number of other ingredients that I can't recall. And you eat them and they give you, you power up. You Dragon Ball Z. you bang and then you can hit the ball 300 yards and i ate roughly 15 of those over three days but you're not doing that in your home life because i do protein bars sometimes yeah protein bars but do you like the protein ball like the homemade protein ball is like a very again we'll get you on this internet but that's i think chris eats them a lot you know i think you buy them for like 45 dollars a pop at you seem very confused by that particular oh really we were there we were all it was quite novel to oh okay again but i would think that his instagram reels are showing a lot of like the protein balls are a big like here's what i make as a something you know instagram reel topic there are a lot of recipes out there there's a lot of flood of golf questions have just hit the chat i regret to inform you like one day after the u.s open granola bars that Zach packs for a golf trip is like pretty sad to me.

1:06:36Okay. Pretty sad? Yeah. I don't believe in granola bars or protein bars. Honestly, you're like, you're so fucked up. Like you are so. I know it's like. I know I'm the weird, crazy one. You are fucking. No, no, no, no, no. That's insane. I just, I prefer not to eat them. I like to eat, you know, real food. I like to have a meal. I don't want to like waste my calories and my, you know, my sugars that way. But the chat is so good. Rango goes hard. Thank you, Calvin Coffee, for identifying that. Protein is very important. Yeah. Granola bars are very important. I like a Clif bar on the golf course.

1:07:15Yeah. I mean, that's my go to. The other day at the swim club, a man, I was getting lunch for my family and a man came in before he went out to the golf course and said, I would like six beers and a soup, please. and a soup and I was like that guy's kind of a legend hot or cold I mean I don't really think that they're serving what are we talking about like chicken barley rice they didn't specify the soup New England clam chowder it was 11.15 in the morning pretty gross six beers and a soup damn dudes are asking me what did you pick up at Waterloo in Austin did somebody clock me at Waterloo in Austin maybe this is actually quite scary it's a record store and an incredible incredible blu-ray selection there lots of international stuff i one thing i did get was um bloody sunday the paul greengrass film i think from imprint which was really really good a lot of interesting questions here how tall is cr he's seven foot six didn't mute it i tried to open the chat that's me top three soups they want to know top three soups go top three soups oh gosh um i mean a chili of something are we counting that is that a stew i'll allow it um i like a lentil soup uh red lentil but i'll go with any of them uh tortilla soup i don't know i'm just naming tortilla soup number one for me chicken noodle no it's just i didn't grow up with it so i see i did we didn't really do soup you know what is elite is a just a matzo ball soup from the new york diners like my favorite thing in the universe um a lot yeah i think that's another thing that we just didn't i see yeah yeah classic atlanta um favorite movie theater in sweden don't know never been to one uh for pride month please name uh some more actresses you would wife up as a straight woman thanks so much i mean rachel vice number one for me haley atwell um adele hanel okay right off the top yep uh who else i mean you're naming women that kind of look like you it's a little weird that's okay i mean that's fine that's nice i accept that's great uh i mean those are like the kind of like three operating as my like wives in my mind at all times um okay but you know there are a lot of beautiful women out there celebrate pride month yeah all month uh great queer sighted program on the criterion channel right now highly recommend that all the movies in that package are super good uh okay hmm do Sean for male actors now okay yeah Idris Elba oh good one okay I just saw him in uh 28 weeks later the second film in that series I'm doing the rewatch next week and he has like no no role whatsoever in the film but he looks very handsome um young Edward Norton yeah again that's a little bit like Keeping the Faith era?

1:10:10Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was very aspirational. We didn't talk about Keeping the Faith on the 2000 draft. Was that 2000? Yeah, it was one of the weirdest movies I've ever seen. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of that movie. That I saw in theaters. Gosh, I mean, Sam Rockwell, big fan of his. Oh, nice. Great dancer. I just wouldn't want to be around him, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like he's just a good time. Every time I see Leslie Bibb, she's so happy. She's like, I can't believe I'm with Sam Rockwell. That's always a good sign. Yeah. I don't know. No, there's probably some others. Any hints on the Chicago surprise movie?

1:10:42No. Okay. No hints. We are exploring special guests for both live shows in Chicago. Hey, thank you to everyone who bought tickets. They sold out very fast for both events. We really appreciate it. We hope to give you a good show. Jack Sanders will be there. Of course. CR will be at our live show at Steppenwolf. Yes. And we're trying to go to a Cubs game, as you said. Yeah. I'm really excited. Do we know anyone at the Cubs? is Jed Hoyer still the general manager of the Cubs Jack yes or no I honestly don't know Cubs are looking pretty good this year are they? yeah they traded for Kyle Tucker in the offseason that's going very well they of course have Pete Crow Armstrong who was a Mets prospect that the Mets traded for two months of Javi Baez which makes me want to drown myself in a lake every day because he would be the center fielder that is missing from this Mets lineup anyway that's the entire Mets discussion live show tour when?

1:11:36I don't know we have children. We're probably not going to do a real tour. We're going to do more live stuff over the course. Hopefully we'll do something in New York in the fall. I'm hoping for that as well. We're discussing. And I do also want to do some 25 for 25 stuff here. Yes. In LA. In the winter maybe. Maybe we can do a bigger one near the end of the list. Maybe at Vidiot's or somewhere else. Tips on how to avoid procrastinating writing and getting in the zone. It's funny this comes up. I don't really write anymore. You don't really write anymore. I hated it. I remember you hating it when I met you, whenever that was, 15 years ago.

1:12:13I absolutely loathed it. And then I moved in with Zach and I was like, oh, this is what like an actual someone who likes writing. Yes. And who can, I mean, he's very disciplined. He's my favorite writer and he is very disciplined. But there was also just like he doesn't live in fear of it. I, when I was writing a lot, was just drinking a lot. That's just the truth. The truth is that I'm not saying one should do this, but for me, if I poured one whiskey, I could go. And it was not hard. I couldn't. And I could stay up all night and do it and I was fine. And if I tried to sit down at 2 p.m. and bang out a column, you know, write a review, I couldn't do it.

1:12:56It was just like writing term papers, you know. It was the same energy. Maybe that's immature, but it was how I was. thoughts on Club Chalamet that comes from Priyanka V you gotta respect the commitment you know and maybe that's all that you need to respect I mean I feel like the Kylie stuff's been very tough for her you know cause she won't even say Kylie Jenner's name why is she so against her well I think that there you know the Kardashians are polarizing and I think that there is just a group of the internet and that does not want, I don't know. I think, like, I think it seems like wasted energy at this point, but you know, I think Kylie looks really pretty.

1:13:46You know, what do you think about her boob job recipe? Did you see that? She has a boob job recipe. Again, like it's amazing. You are just not on the same internet. So someone, so Kris Jenner recently confirmed the doctor who did her facelift and her most recent facelift. She's had a couple. And then someone on TikTok was like Kylie like what's your you know what kind of boob job did you get and or something like that and Kylie in the comments on TikTok wrote like the recipe as as the internet coined it which is like I don't even know where it placement is on the body the type size like profile all sorts of things so she confirmed it Kylie herself did yes cool yeah I remember in the aftermath of a recent conversation we had about their relationship their reaction was like what is wrong with you guys and like I just want to say I do get it like I get if you are an incredibly famous actor that you're like I want to date a hot extremely hot girl and she's beautiful so like I understand but I think we're at the stage of the Kardashian Jenner thing where it's strictly dystopian now like the way that they look or the way that they are No, no, no.

1:15:04Just their place in society. Yeah. I mean, even the fact that they're just all now out being like, yes, so here is this specific plastic surgery that I had. Yeah. Which, like, in some ways, if... Maybe that's better. I think it's better than pretending that it's natural. Yeah. I do. But it is... We're in a new era, you know? Sean on Jam Session, when? We need his thoughts on the new and just like that season. I actually... Oh, but you weren't watching it. Someone asked whether you should just... Whether you should keep watching. yes because I am Jill and I need someone to talk about it I do actually need you to come on before because Juliet's still on leave so we'll figure that out I'd be happy to help Movie Master Macro says Sean could have bagged Kylie I don't know if that's true I'm going to be very honest with you I think that respectfully Timmy has you know some swag that you do not I won't argue with that Reese Roberts asks Amanda and Sean what's one quality you admire in each other and a burden if you could make life the other of a what a burden if you could life the other I don't know that what's one quality you admire let's hear it right now live um well this is I'm trying to think of a way to put this that this is like not like a backhanded compliment um what is it you are very none of these sound right like it pains her no no no it's like i mean they're they're like reliable dependable like all of that doesn't sound like complimentary enough to what i mean which is like i i have no like you will sean's gonna show up sean will be there what sean what sean says sean does you don't have to question it i like i don't spend any time worrying about it and that is like in a professional way in a friendship way it's just Sean is there and that's a very valuable I would say the same is true for you you always live up to that you always do your homework as you like to say I am consistently impressed with your tunnel vision self confidence like I it's another one where it's like how do we put this in a way that isn't insulting I could never channel it.

1:17:26I am constantly I'm questing is what I would say. And you are not. You are like, I am a philosopher. Which is why we're doing this here. You have a point of view and I am like seeking and you have landed. And I gotta say it's very admirable. Thank you. That's nice. Part of the stew of this show. I guess so. Let's do one more question. Okay. Hmm. When do we get you playing poker on Twitch? That's not the last question but that would be really funny when I uh I will get there at some point you guys so the follow-up to the Vegas blackjack thing which is after like Sean tried to get me to play blackjack at a 25 minimum table my first time ever in a casino and it was like I had a full body panic attack and so I didn't but then I just sat like Sean played and I like I had heard tell of Sean gambling and Sean in the casinos and I have had to be his sports partner which was terrifying but like gambling Sean taking cards Sean taking over was you know it gave me a new understanding of you what do you mean well it was just sort of like a lethal anti-social mode that I like knew was there but it was just sort of you know but there was like something you were very very relaxed and confident about it which I like Like, you know, I admire.

1:18:52I don't feel that way at a casino table. But you were just kind of like, okay, now I'm at like my optimal state. It is probably the happiest I can be in a non-family environment, I would say. Yeah. I find it to be not stressful at all, which doesn't mean I'm good. I'm not a good gambler. I just like to gamble. But I also don't get a chance to do it enough. That is pretty. I mean, that you find it like relaxing is very, very intense. It's only money, you know. I mean, that's true. It's only money. And if you decide the amount of money that you're willing to lose and land there and stay there and have the discipline to stay there, it can be very fun.

1:19:28Okay. If you can't do that, and some people can, and I completely understand that, it's not fun. Yeah. It's stressful. It's anxiety producing. I was raised, you know, that if you lose, you're a failure. So even losing money is, you know. Interesting. I mean, it wasn't my choice. That's not very nice. Okay. well I think we're good that did end up being the last question I'm waiting for someone to do something here

1:19:56come on somebody come through with something really really really special before we close out how do we have more people watching now than we did because like people join over time I guess so how can you see I feel like really old mom right now started streaming 82 minutes ago Do you feel like this will be a good podcast listen? I think we flowed pretty well. Jack says yes. He's giving us a nod. Jack, you know, thank you for your support. Let's see. Wow. Lots of. Oh, someone's asking what should be my new opening line on the dating apps. Oh, God. I mean, so here's the thing. We are the wrong people to ask for this because we were not a part of this.

1:20:41I was talking to a friend recently who's on the dating apps and, and she was saying that Bumble is the new hinges out, Bumble's in. I don't know whether we can confirm or deny that. Okay. That's just like what I'm hearing on the streets. All right. From one friend. Um, and, but she was talking about how she matched with someone and they started talking and then they immediately had a two and a half hour phone conversation. And I was like, what are like, what are we doing? I mean, that, that to me is terrifying. That also reminds me when Zach used to try to call me early on, I would like hide from the phone, you know, like, please don't talk to me on the phone.

1:21:17Because you don't want to speak on the phone. No, absolutely. Well, you know that we share this, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know that I really don't like to talk on the phone. No, I also I like absolutely hate it. But I think Zach was like schooled by John. So, you know. Yes, our close friend John. Honestly, honestly, for the first six months, anytime Zach was calling, he was like, hey, so I can't, you know, I'm like stuck at like summer jam or whatever. And so I can't come like hang out. and I was like okay well fuck you I don't want to take this phone call oh so you had PTSD from it being just an excuse to not spend time with you it's like I mean now you know when the phone rings from a friend you're like well this isn't good uh and so so true so for the first six months anytime he was calling it was because he had to like he didn't want to like send a text being like I'm so sorry like Azealia Bakes won't let me off the bus or whatever um I think that did happen once I don't know I remember he was in Los Angeles when he was interviewing her I spent time with him during that trip.

1:22:11I don't like to talk on the phone for a very simple reason. My parents got divorced when I was like 10 and my dad which this is a very generous act as a father and not one that other divorced fathers do. My dad called me every day. Called me every day to talk. Which was very nice but you know we didn't have that much to say to each other and also I was a little raw about them getting divorced. Yeah sure. And he would just call every day and he'd be like put Sean on the phone. He was calling the house phone of course not a cell phone because I was 10 and we talked every day or almost every day.

1:22:42And I only saw him once every two weeks, but we were in contact all the time. It was nice, but... I understand that you have an association now. You know, now I'm like, so I was on the phone and then I went to college and Eileen and I stayed dating, but she went to Johns Hopkins and I went to Ithaca. Right. And we talked on the phone every day. Yeah. For a long time to stay in each other's lives. So from 10 to 21, I was on the phone at length every day. So I don't ever want to be on the phone again. And I hope all my friends out there understand. And actually the greatest thing that ever happened to me, the greatest thing that ever happened to me in this very specific respect is we started doing this show and friends listened to it.

1:23:25Yeah. And they don't call me anymore because they know what's going on. I know, but you have like complained about that. But I'm over it now. I think it's good. It is a nice way to sort of stay in touch with people. That's also Instagram is very useful for that for me. It is. There's a little bit of a like gilding the Lily thing to Instagram of like, is it really this good? Yeah. I'm suspicious of. Sure, sure, sure, sure. You know what I mean? Yeah. Whereas on pods, I'm like just honestly having a meltdown. All right. Sean's not good today. Don't need to call him. Yeah. No, it is nice. But anyway, back to the dating apps opening line.

1:23:58I mean, I just like I have no idea. I assume that you would be responding to something in someone's profile. So... I don't know. I've literally never seen one of these profiles. You haven't? You haven't even like gone on? I've never downloaded the apps. I've never seen what they look like. Let's be clear. I haven't downloaded the apps either. But you haven't had a friend give you the phone? Maybe. Maybe in the 2010s. Maybe. I really don't think so. I've done it a few times. But I feel like the prompts are built in, right? At least on Hinge they were. Are they like skincare routine? Favorite baby product?

1:24:32No. And I think that those would... Are you smelly? I'm not sure I would respond to those as a, you know, that's not, but like. A little intense. But is it like favorite song? Yeah. Or like favorite. Favorite vacation. Maybe it's like a movie thing or something. Do you play pickleball? Yeah. Why don't you just tell me the person you want to date? Right. I wish we could be more help. I'm sorry. You know, ask them, do a movie thing. If the person doesn't like movies, then. It's a flag. You probably don't want to be like, don't like quote a movie, but you could ask a movie question. Do you think there are people who are avid listeners of this show?

1:25:07Yeah. Who listen to every episode, true psychos, whose partner is not into movies and that we fill a gap in their life? I think so. Yes. Because. Do you think that's healthy? Well, we have met the, and I, you know, I don't want to gender essentialize here, but we've met many of the girlfriends at the screenings who show up and they're like, oh, it's so nice that he gets to meet his friends. You know, like we're basically imaginary friends for a lot of people. And that's okay. That's good. I get it. I have other imaginary podcast friends or, you know, or influencer friends. You do? Yeah. Like Katie Storino, you know, who I told you about, who sells me the odor.

1:25:44But you do not want to meet her. Well, Katie has social anxiety, I think. So she's talked about that. So I don't want to make her uncomfortable. But I think it would be fun. Yeah. Do you feel that this was a worthwhile experiment? Yes, I do. I don't know how many problems we solved for people. I thought it was about our problems. This is not about their problems. I was kind of like, if, if we could figure out like a call in element, you know, like we could really work. You want to do a call in show. I think that I could really like if the guy who didn't know whether he was into the girl, we're calling in.

1:26:19I think that could have been radio gold. You know, Brian. Yeah. But then he was using an Elias. So I don't know if we accidentally just added him. um but also you know that's that's how social media works so uh i'm not sure i understand alias elias i always say it wrong i think it's alias i know but i'm what it's one of my chris ryan things i that guy i don't really know what he's talking about chris no no no chris i do know what chris is talking about he's talking a lot of sense brian i don't you know you you're either feeling it or you're not bro like is it really that complicated um yes it is when you didn't meet the love of your life at 16 it is okay it's a tough beat yeah uh thank you to everybody who sent incredible questions were demons in the chat participated willingly thank you to amanda for dear abbying her way to her next career this is very exciting for her this is all she ever wanted thanks to john richter for helping us with this live stream really appreciate it thanks to jack Sanders, the silent man of this episode.

1:27:23But very reassuring on the big screen. Very calming. Let's talk about the schedule very briefly. Yeah. We had to move number 18 of 25 for 25. Yeah. I saw people were getting a little testy about it. Listen, I'm sorry. There were there was quite a few things happening in Los Angeles last week. We had to make some accommodations. Yeah. So we need you to work with us. The schedule is knowing the schedule is a privilege, you know, not an entitlement. Thank you for saying that. I completely agree with you. On Wednesday, number 18 will premiere. We already recorded the episode. It was an emotional one.

1:27:54I'm very happy that we chose this movie. On Friday, well, first of all, just behind the curtain, I'm going to Atlanta to go watch the Mets. Speaking of the Mets, I'll be in Atlanta for three days for this three-game series. I get back Friday morning. I'm getting off a plane. Will you get to be on the broadcast again? I haven't told John, so I don't know. But if you're still watching, he'll know that I'll be in Atlanta. with my father who I just told his story of his divorce on this podcast. Does Kyle watch or listen to this show? He does. My brother Kyle. Hi, Kyle. Kyle, yes. I wouldn't say, I'm not sure he's going to like crush the materialist episode per se, but he definitely is, he's a, he's a, he's a Dobmov member.

1:28:37Oh, thank you, Kyle. Kyle and, and my dad and I are really like our first trip ever together. Yeah. Going to see baseball, of course. and I'm going to come back Friday morning and I'm going to drive to a movie theater in Ontario, California. I'm going to go see 28 years later and then I'm going to drive to Los Angeles and pod with you and Chris. Are you doing the Ontario trick that I taught you about? Yes, I am. Oh, I'm so pleased for you. It's a really much smoother way to travel. I will let you know how it goes tomorrow. I'm seeing it Thursday. Okay. And then we're podcasting rather than parenting our children on Friday afternoon.

1:29:10Correct. After I have been not parenting my child for three straight days. Anyhow, it should be fun. 28 years later looking forward to it and then after that we have a whole summer of potting to do thank you everyone again see you soon