2025 NFL Teams as Classic Action Movies, With Kyle Brandt and Joe House

15:39Bill Simmons:And we've talked about this on Rewatchables multiple times. Arnold comes in and he's just like, here's Total Recall. here's kindergarten cop here's terminator 2 he's just like he's pummeling him a lot like rocky and uh in the in the first couple rounds of rocky four he's still just getting the shit kicked out of him and people kind of give up on stallone a little bit and then cliffhanger happens and he gets us to come to the theater right before it's like right around memorial day um may 1993 yep and he's fucking back. He looks great. The movie looks awesome. He's just playing all the hits and we leave the movie and we're like, Stallone's back.

16:20Bill Simmons:I think that I'm going to feel that way about Buffalo at the end. Like all the stuff, all the tough losses and the close and this and that and I just feel like, I feel like this is going to be their cliffhanger season. Plus, literally, it's a cliffhanger, Kyle Brett. Yes. That's my case.

16:34Kyle Brandt:I think there's also a lot of things that just piss people off about the Bills. They leave you frustrated a lot. And as we know, Michael Rooker spends this entire movie just kind of pissed off for really weird reasons that don't make sense. Like at the beginning scene, he's mad, even though he brought the girlfriend up there and she died. But he blames. There's a lot of blame that goes around with Buffalo when they don't pan out or they can't beat the Chiefs again.

16:54Bill Simmons:So I think there's a symmetry there to misplace anger, blame, resentment. Yeah. So cliffhanger starts house. Michael Rooker takes his girlfriend up on a mountain. and they're hiking and it gets fucked up. They have to be rescued. And finally they're on a zipline and she barely knows how to hike and starts to lose it on the zipline. And Stallone tries to be the hero. Like she's going to fall, climbs on the zipline to save her and she ends up falling to her death. And Rooker's pissed off about it. It was like, what about you, buddy? Yeah. Who took her up there, shithead? Who took her up there? That's right.

17:29Bill Simmons:So anyway, and he's mad at Stallone in the whole movie. All right.

17:31Kyle Brandt:This is like Bill's fans being mad at Dalton Kincaid at the end of the title game for dropping that pass. Like, was that really what it was about? It's a little bit misplaced. So, Bill, I think it's a great pick. And we're two teams in. I feel the same way you do. I'm like, oh, shit, I had a good one for Cliffhanger or I had a good one for Buffalo. So we'll have to get to him somehow.

17:49Bill Simmons:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think we're off to a good start and it's a relatively coherent gimmick. And I'm pleased with it. But now this is the part where it gets scary because Joe House is up.

17:57Kyle Brandt:All right, come on, House. I don't think I can mess this up. This is the third team in the AFC. And it turns out that this is my favorite team in the AFC and the team that I think is going to land the one seed and the team that I've already bet to win the Super Bowl this year, and that's the Baltimore Ravens. I think the Ravens are lined up for an incredible season. Reminder to everybody, they started off last year 8-5, and they had bad losses. A couple of dumb losses. Unnecessary losses, that's exactly right. They had likely lost. Yeah, there's a couple bad ones. And then they reeled off four straight wins and came into the playoffs, you know, in as good a position as anybody and once again snatched defeat from the jaws of victory.

18:35And it wasn't Lamar Jackson, reminder to everybody, in that game against Buffalo, there was a couple key turnovers and Mark Andrews, you know, was the GOAT. And I don't mean, you know, greatest of all time. This Baltimore team, what they did in the offseason, once again, they reload on the defensive side. But I think that they have found a defensive identity last year in that run at the end of the season. I just think that they are ready to go on a tear. And so I'm in between two movies. Let's hear him. On the one hand, I love the idea of Terminator because Lamar Jackson last year had an MVP season.

19:15I don't see anything in terms of this offense that will take me off of Lamar Jackson in that direction. And then the other one, if we're going to go in that direction, is First Blood 2. Rambo. Those were the two where I was...

19:30Bill Simmons:First Blood 2? Yeah. What would be the case for First Blood 2 with the Ravens? I'm trying to just like... Well, you didn't give me First... Oh, you did give me First Blood. Sure. You could do First Blood if you want. Oh, yeah. I meant First Blood then. You put both movies in. Okay, I see. Rambo 1. So you don't want to put Action Jackson here. Oh, well, that's the layout, right?

19:50Kyle Brandt:Guys, mind if I butt in, Bill? I got Action Jackson written down for the Ravens. It's fucking awesome. God damn it. I love it. I got it. It has to be.

19:57Bill Simmons:Done. Done. Okay. If the Sommelais can help you here. I agree. I love it. Thank you. We have a vintage bottle of Action Jackson. He's literally the Action Jackson.

20:07Kyle Brandt:It really is. Are you interested in a movie house where at one point Carl Weathers throws a guy out of a window so hard that he goes through the window and into the window of the building next to him? It's never been done before. That's Lamar kind of shit. Jackson Jackson you guys thank you also

20:26Bill Simmons:I don't want to say this was the movie I fell in love with Sharon Stone in because it had already happened five years earlier but she's throwing 119 miles an hour in this movie also have we talked about this Kyle the fact that they weren't three or four of these is enraging

20:44Kyle Brandt:I don't know why well that brings it to the point about the Ravens Bill Carl Weathers never really became the man. He was always the guy in Predator, or he was always Apollo, or he was always Chubbs. He never got over that. Is that Lamar? Does he never win the Super Bowl?

21:02Bill Simmons:Beloved, respected, and yet Love him. I mean, honestly, some MVPs, there's a real Rocky III MVP case for Carl Weathers that I could have thrown in, but yeah, I just felt like I loved Action Jackson. I don't think we've done it yet on the rewatchables. That's one of the ones we're saving. And I don't know why there wasn't four of them. I mean, we actually know why there wasn't four of them because Hollywood was super racist back then and all they wanted to do was get the white dudes. So it's really only Snipes has a couple movies and the one Carl Weathers and that's it. Well,

21:36Kyle Brandt:on the topic of being exclusionary, I love that House gave two totally viable suggestions to Bill and I. Like, nah, fuck that. Action Jackson. You're out. We're like the dick waiters. It was the right answer, though. I love the dick waiters. I love dicks in all of those walks of life, like a dick caddy. I always love the guys that are ready. You know, the asshole at the counter, the soup Nazi. That appeals to me.

21:56Bill Simmons:I have a challenge. Having worked in the service industry for a couple of years there, I always thought people respected when you gave them the truth. Yeah. When they give you a choice and they're like, I was thinking about either getting the chicken or the cheeseburger. What would you get? And I'd be like, I'd get neither. Our skirt steak is phenomenal. Yeah, don't sugarcoat it. Just tell the truth.

22:18Kyle Brandt:I was recently in Vegas and I ordered a tequila. And it's the George Clooney's tequila. The bartender looked at me and goes, would you mind if I gave you something else that's way better and cheaper? And I was like, awesome, man. Yeah, do it. And he gave it to me. And I had so much respect for him.

22:32Bill Simmons:That just happened with Action Jackson. The Baltimore Ravens. There we go. All right. So off the board, interesting wrinkle. I got to say, the gimmick's working great. We all had different one seeds. I would not have guessed. So Kyle had Kansas City. Yep. I had Buffalo and House had Baltimore. And it was going to be in some order, those three. This is where I was really excited to see where the draft was going to go. Yeah. The four spot. Because, well, I'll tell you later. Who do you have for the four spot? All right.

23:04Kyle Brandt:So this is my first shock and awe. In the fourth spot, gentlemen, I have the LA Chargers.

23:10Bill Simmons:Oh.

23:11Kyle Brandt:Wow.

23:12Bill Simmons:Oh, my. Hold on. Let me scroll down.

23:14Kyle Brandt:They're not in my first spot.

23:16Bill Simmons:Hold on. All right, there they are. Gotcha. Okay.

23:19Kyle Brandt:And my movie comp for the LA Chargers is Total Recall. You have, in both cases, a wild man director. You got Harbaugh. You got Verhoeven. You got Harbhoven. Okay? You got a great lead in Herbert. But, like, for the Chargers house, like, weird shit always happens. Yeah, that's true. You have your quarterback who throws, like, no picks all year, and then he throws, like, 12 in one game, in one playoff game. with Verhoeven it's like we're going through a science fiction movie this is fine everyone looks normal and there's a three-breasted woman out of nowhere for no reason God Verhoeven's fucking crazy for no reason lastly there's always the sense of with the Chargers like the past is repeating itself and haunting us and I'm having recall of I'm living a different life and it's like it just seems to gel up Chargers total recall

24:03Bill Simmons:so it's funny I had total recall for the Chiefs oh no but this is better you made a way better case because mine was was like, Mahomes, you're pretty ordinary last year. You were just a construction worker working nine to five and coming home and you threw for 3 ,900 yards. Yes. You guys, you didn't have a top five offense. And then in the playoffs, you weren't that great. In the Super Bowl, you got your ass kicked. Yep. You realize you're a guy that everyone thinks is the key to Mars. That's in there. Is that coming back? But I think this is way better.

24:39Kyle Brandt:Well, ironically - I think also - I think the Chargers, like, I have them in the divisional round losing. So that would mean they're in the playoffs for how long? Two weeks. Two weeks. It's all there. How else do you think?

24:52Bill Simmons:It's a total recon. I love it. I think it's tremendous. So we've already done this movie in the rewatchables. Although I don't think you were on it. No, I know Van was on it and probably CR. I don't remember, though. I just watched it from start to finish.

25:05Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah?

25:06Bill Simmons:A week and a half ago.

25:07Kyle Brandt:Wow.

25:09Bill Simmons:And I couldn't believe how good it was. even though we had already dissected it exacted every amount of content we could have gotten start to finish I was just like god damn they really knew how to make movies back then there's not a wasted split second in that movie it just goes and it's got and there's just these different premises and different locations and every time you think they've run out of characters there's another one the three breasted ladies there we have shootouts all of a sudden we're in this weird nightclub it's just a tour de force and the ending's unbelievable.

25:43Kyle Brandt:I know.

25:44Bill Simmons:And I still don't know if he dreamed it or not. What was your take? Did he dream it?

25:48Kyle Brandt:Yeah, I mean, it's like Inception with the top spinning. I like to think he dreamed it because it was just so cool and everything was so fun and he wins in the end. I like to think he dreamed it. The reason

26:00Bill Simmons:you would think he dreamed it is they ask him to find a girl and he picks the girl when they're trying to do his Choose Your Adventure. Sleazy. It's the exact girl that's the girl in the movie. Right. So it's like, okay. Then the other hand, I don't know, maybe he didn't dream it. Maybe he really did save Mars. Who knows?

26:22Kyle Brandt:What's really fun about Total Recall for a beginner is it leads the league in Arnold Schwarzenegger yelling and grunting like that. He does it more in Total Recall than any other Arnold movie. So if you like that, that's your movie.

26:34Bill Simmons:So ironically, my wife was in the background, like getting ready and walking in and out and stuff. And at one point she says to me, is this just an entire movie of people grunting and screaming? And I was like, yeah, you nailed it. Pretty much. That should have been in the Ebert review.

26:48Kyle Brandt:That's being a Chargers fan.

26:49Bill Simmons:Well, let's talk about the Chargers really quick. I'm down on them. And I have four days to talk myself out of it. I thought the Slater injury was a terrible omen. Trying to figure out. And I know like out of all the teams in the league to be able to at least move Joe Walt over is probably a better solution than anyone else would have. But I just, when you lose a guy like that before the season starts, when is that not a terrible moment? Yeah, and I didn't love what they did with the receiver room. I mean, at some point, these Herbert seasons, you have to, like, capitalize on it and use it to push you.

27:26Bill Simmons:They have guys they're all excited about, but it feels like preseason. I know poor Kyle's doing three hours of content a day trying to, like, talk about fourth and fifth receivers. son.

27:36Kyle Brandt:No, but my deal is like, I've learned over the years, especially with playoff picks, just go with coaches. Yeah. Like cover the roster, pick Mike Tomlin to make the playoffs, pick Sean McVay. And I know Harbaugh's new here, but I don't care. I think he's a top five coach in the league. He's crazy, like in the best way, but like, I know they got an offensive tackle injured. It sucks. It happens. Other teams will too. I just trust Harbaugh. I do always.

27:58Bill Simmons:The case against them is last year's schedule was, was so favorable for them. But then the games where they had to play good teams. They just didn't score. I mean, you're talking like 10, 12, 14 point range for five. Then in the playoff game, they completely fell apart. I had a different AFC West team.

28:17Kyle Brandt:Okay, what do you got?

28:17Bill Simmons:That I'm about to take. I really admire that pick, by the way. It's a team that I had in the three spot because I think they're going to win the AFC West, but I don't think it's the Chargers. I have the Denver Broncos right here.

28:33Kyle Brandt:Okay, talk about it.

28:34Bill Simmons:Um, I just like every, Hey, I've talked about them five different times in the pod. It just feels like they have a ton of talent. They know who they are. You're a great coach theory. Um, the Denver versus K KC thing has been kind of quietly really good here for since the 1990s. Um, the KC piece of it where, you know, they're still trying to figure out some of the stuff with their offensive line, especially the middle. the Rasheed Rice thing just kind of hanging over the season like an anvil when does that suspension kick in doesn't seem like they're totally psyched with their running game I just I have just as many questions about KC than in Denver I'm just like fuck it I really like this Denver team I'm gonna ride with them so my movie is Predator

29:22Kyle Brandt:somebody's gotta take it

29:23Bill Simmons:for a variety of reasons but this is more like less of a match of what the movie's about and more like just the name

29:32Kyle Brandt:I think Denver is the predator

29:34Bill Simmons:of the AFC nobody sees them coming not really sure what's happening in the jungle there's just some weird shit happening can you guys go down there and it's like oh no you're not hunting them they're actually hunting you and right now I feel like Denver nobody realizes they're the alien in the jungle yet and that's my case

29:52Kyle Brandt:that's like Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes are like you're scared Andy bullshit you ain't afraid of no man there's something out there hunting us and it ain't no man. And Casey, it's like,

30:02Bill Simmons:how's Casey going to lose this? They have Jesse the body and Carl Weathers, Arnold. Like, this is going to be great. They've got this. I also, you guys talked about this on the Ringer Gambling Showhouse. And then Sheil did his three tiers of MVP picks on the Ringer NFL show. Did not mention Bo Nix. I don't think Bo Nix is going to win the MVP. I'm just going to say that.

30:27Kyle Brandt:Nor do I.

30:28Bill Simmons:But there is, it usually, Shield made this case out, it's usually a 13 or 14 win team produces the MVP. So if you're all in on Denver, as House would say, maybe sprinkle just a smattering on the 60 to one Bo Nix. Why not? Like, what if he throws, what if he's 3 ,500 yards, you know, runs for 800 yards and 10 TVs, they go 15 and two. I am not saying this will happen, him but for the odds i just thought it was interesting yeah i i don't think that's a bad way to speculate to have that you know in the portfolio a little taste because purdy's the other one like that where it's like if you really like a san francisco comeback odds are purdy's gonna be awesome and maybe just go long shot on him all right i think what else is interesting is

31:16Kyle Brandt:one of these second year quarterbacks is not gonna play well this year it's just how the odds are it's like they're not all gonna work out they're not all gonna be great so jayden nicks may and And then like Pennix and McCarthy are in their other class and Caleb as well. Like, I think one of those four, including Caleb, is going to be like, oh, what happened in that second year? You have to just the law of averages of quarterbacks. Is it going to be May or Caleb? Like, Knicks looked great. Fine. He was in the playoffs. He represented himself. But I don't know. I just don't think he's John Elway yet.

31:44Bill Simmons:Here's the problem with the Bears from what I say with Caleb. They just, how much can you blow Tyson Badgett? They like Badgett a lot. The coach loves him. They gave him an extension. He's sobbing in the press conference. It's like, what are you guys doing? Let's save it. Save the Bears for the Bears. I've never seen it. We're not even on the Bears. We're not even in their conference. The house is going to be on my podcast on Thursdays this year. And as we're leading up to it, if I was just like raving about the person who's like, if anything happens to the house, I'm going to have this guy host instead of house.

32:16Bill Simmons:And all I did all August was rave about the other person. If you get that person a$10 million contract, I'm going to be upset. Two years,$10 million? Yeah, I'll be upset. Tyson Bajan or Bajan?

32:27Kyle Brandt:Bajan, like agent. Yeah, you said it right. Tyson Bajan. Okay, I did say it right.

32:31Bill Simmons:All right. So Denver off the board, and that means House is now up with the six picks. So we only have two playoff spots left here. Yeah. And in that context, this is why Houston is the right answer to me. They are the class of their division. The case for Houston is just it's a bad division, and they have a great defense. There could be, should be a bounce back for C.J. Stroud. They got rid of three other offensive linemen. They brought in four guys. So you swapped out. There's some weird receiver stuff, too. They're relying on some rookies. Tank Dell's not back yet. The thing that hurts the enthusiasm for Houston is the Joe Mixon injury.

33:13And it does seem like that is going to be persistent.

33:17Bill Simmons:Because they're basically having an open mic night for the running back position. That is the problem. It's like, is it going to be Nick Chubb? Is it going to be this random guy we drafted? And yet, it may not matter in that division. And C.J. Stroud and that defense might be enough. So I'm not sure what to do. I think this is the right spot for them, first of all. Like the sixth spot, even though they'll be the four seed because they're going to win it. But it's the defense. At least we know they're going to be good defensively, and we know their secondary is awesome. So you'd be like, even in the playoffs, pretty respectable defensive performance by them, right?

33:53Kyle Brandt:cobra yeah they where you're putting them now is just it's kind of like where they've been like yeah yeah they're they're a very good team but like you know not that upper echelon so i i'd be curious to know the movie pairing because i have something i have an idea as well oh well i'm sure i was going to ask you guys about cobra because this idea of a secret society the killers

34:14Bill Simmons:i don't know if we want to shoot our cobra wide here okay by the way cobra is the 85 bears and

34:19Kyle Brandt:the 73 Steelers. So no, that's not that. We can't do Cobra with the 25. That's fine. That's why I like you're curious about it.

34:25Bill Simmons:You gave us a price range in the 60 to$80 range. And then you just asked about a$750 bottle. Can I have the St. Steph Bordeaux? Yeah. I was. So what were you thinking? Because I had a movie I was thinking for them.

34:39Kyle Brandt:All right. This would be wild. This is this is an interesting one for the Texans. I have passenger 57 just for the simple reasons of lot to like really strong cool lead you got some good supporting actors the young liz hurley time size tom sizemore but it's just not up there it's not a stallone or schwarzenegger van damme quality thing yet that's what i'm saying i like that movie but i'm not saying it's going to win the afc or

35:06Bill Simmons:like be the coolest movie of the year so my two were commando and pastor 57 because commando some commando well that's good because i had commando as my second choice but great so i think it's passenger 57. Passenger 57, good. The thing I was thinking with the Commando is it's like really likable, good Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, but it's either a round one or round two loss compared to the rest of his catalog.

35:29Kyle Brandt:Absolutely.

35:30Bill Simmons:Okay. So that's a strong pick for the Texans. Passenger 57. All right. We're through six teams. We're going to take a quick break and then hit the rest of the AFC. The Bill Simmons Podcast is presented by FanDuel. I hope you're ready because FanDuel Futures Day is going to be Tuesday, August 26th. It's a futures extravaganza. Not that it hasn't been a futures extravaganza for me and House all summer. If you want to do straight up overwins for the Pats, do alt wins. Maybe you think the Pats are going to go 12 and 5. Go nuts. Go nuts on House's team. Go under on Washington. Unders on Pats. You can do that.

36:08Bill Simmons:You can parlay division champions. I have a five division champ parlay. We do have a couple of those lined up that are tasty. 190 to 1 or whatever. One day only, all customers get an instant bonus on any football futures bet, plus flash deals. Every three hours that you want on a mission. I like flash deals. Flash deals? Yeah. Whatever your game is, you choose how you want to play it. Tomorrow, Tuesday, August 26th at FanDuel. What are you doing for future day? I have an idea. Visit the FanDuel app to learn more. Get your picks ready. FanDuel, play your game. Must be 21 plus and present in select states or 18 plus and present in D.C., Kentucky, or Wyoming.

36:44Bill Simmons:Gamma problem, call 1-800-GAMBLE or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat. In Connecticut, paid endorsement. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Cracking up at a cold one on a hot summer day is one of the best feelings, but it's even better when it feels like you've earned it. Like in a little friendly competition, it's always better when there's something worth playing for. Michelob Ultra, Superior Light Beer. it's a pretty great prize. I'm trying to think stuff I would play for this summer. Golf. I'd have the, I need to have a big handicap for golf.

37:24Bill Simmons:It's really tennis and maybe basketball three point shooting contests. And I don't know. What's that block blast game? You play on your iPad. I'd do that. I'd compete against other people on that one. It's like Tetris for the 2020s. Play for ultra, fill your fridge with Michelob Ultra this summer at doordash.com. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2025. Anheuser-Busch. Michelob Ultra Light Beer. St. Louis, Missouri. And now it's time for Fantasy Sleepers. It's a new segment presented by Yahoo Fantasy, a site that we use here at The Ringer for our fantasy football draft. The season kicks off September 4th.

38:01Bill Simmons:Now is the time to play Yahoo Fantasy Football. Try the new Yahoo Fantasy guillotine leagues. We're doing that this year. The lowest scoring team gets eliminated weekly. It's great. It's cutthroat. It's awesome. Want to play instantly with friends? Try the new draft with friends mode? Prefer the classics? Play in a private head-to-head league? That sounds fun. Maybe we'll just go head-to-head. Don't touch R.J. Harvey. R.J. Harvey's my guy. Or you could join a public league. No matter how you play, one thing's true. Sleepers can win you the week or even the whole league. So House loves R.J. Harvey.

38:35Bill Simmons:That's your guy? Oh, yes, I do. I loved Egg Buka, who's a first-round pick, who's not even a sleeper. But I actually think he's a sleeper to be a top 10. Okay. Dude, my biggest one is Travion Henderson. Yeah. I just think he's going to be a top 20 points guy. We're going to find out a lot about that offensive line this year. I think Sam Darnold's a sleeper. You're down on him. Nobody weaves at Sam Darnold. He's going to be sleeping on his back from that offensive line. Yes, I agree with you. He's a sleeper. He's literally a sleeper. JSN on the Seahawks as well. I like him. That receiver room's gotten worse.

39:06Bill Simmons:The season's almost here. Don't listen to House. Listen to me. Draft now at yahoofantasy.com slash Simmons. All right, so we have six AFC teams we've done. KC, Buffalo, Baltimore, the Chargers, Denver, and Houston. One of the questions with the AFC, Kyle, which I'm sure you've done multiple segments on. Sure. It's your bleary-eyed.

39:28Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah.

39:28Bill Simmons:In the mornings, trying to figure this out, is who the fuck is the seventh AFC team? I know. Who is it? I mean, you could even say who's the sixth AFC team. You at least made a compelling case for the Chargers. But when you get to the seven seed, it's an all bets are off situation. So who'd you have?

39:47Kyle Brandt:I have an angel and a devil on my shoulders because I have some teams, but my movies for them have already been taken. But it's fine because there's a clusterfuck trying to get the seven spot. So I'm just going to go with it again. You guys mentioned this division already. I have the Raiders. I have the Pete Carroll Raiders. The Pete Carroll, Tom Brady Raiders. I like them. I like how they're built. I like their quarterback. I like their running game. I like their defense. And my my movie comp is kickboxer. I like anything with an old mentor who teaches like a young talent how to do things. And that's Pete Carroll.

40:23Kyle Brandt:I also like that the Raiders given Ashton Jensie 350 carries in his rookie year is like Van Dam kicking the tree until he breaks his leg. Just keep kicking it. Kick it. Kick it again until it's bleeding. and Max Crosby as Noxu Kao, the white warrior. So I have the Raiders as kickboxer and as our shocking seven seed as the third team from the AFC West for me.

40:46Bill Simmons:It's in the vicinity of where I had them as well.

40:48Kyle Brandt:I like it.

40:50Bill Simmons:But you left out the key point why this is such a great pick with the Raiders. The unintentional comedy in kickboxer matching the unintentional comedy of the Las Vegas Raiders. Brady just randomly coming in with his cool Raiders gear, Mark Davis's hair, just the fact that they're in Vegas. Like, there's a cheesiness to the Las Vegas Raiders that matches. There's a famous scene in Kickboxer when Van Damme dances.

41:18Kyle Brandt:Oh, yeah.

41:20Bill Simmons:Yeah, and it's like his whole, he's wearing a black tank top. It'll occasionally become a meme, and it's like, what fits better than that with the Las Vegas Raiders? It's great. I just want to observe out loud. We have all four of the AFC West in the top seven teams here. Unlikely, but possible. I'm just saying it out loud. That's what we did. The coaches. I understand. There's two divisions that are above all the other divisions, AFC West and the NFC North. And I think you can make a case for playoff spots for all eight of those teams. We just did. If you want to. We just did with AFC West. and people have a different one of who bounces out.

42:00Bill Simmons:Most people will probably have it like we have it here. But listen, talk about this every year. If you have a terrible QB and a terrible coach and you go to a B - for those categories or C +, it's still four to five wins. Just being competent makes you go from five and 12 to nine and eight. So I'm fine with that.

42:24Kyle Brandt:You have an adult in the room. Listen, Geno Smith, I know he doesn't blow anybody's hair back. The Seahawks won 10 games last year. 10. They have all that. They have Carroll now, and they have a adult in the room. I like it.

42:37Bill Simmons:Pete Carroll's never lost less than seven, right? Isn't that the stat?

42:41Kyle Brandt:You take your hands and you put them in broken glass for the fight against Tong Po at the end, that's them against the Chiefs. Amazing sequence.

42:48Bill Simmons:I had the Patriots. Not just because it's my team. I'm stunned. Look. Come on. What do you mean, come on? Come on. They're making the jump? Make the case. They check all the boxes that we see every year that Washington did last year and they have the balls to pick them. But brand new coach replacing a horrific coach and a horrific coaching staff. Spent a lot of money in free agency. They had a really good draft with guys that seem like they're going to play. They have a quarterback that I think has a chance to be special. I just thought what he did in 10 games last year with the worst coaching personnel, offensive line situation possible.

43:26Bill Simmons:Ever. And the team really likes them. And they're definitely going to be better. Nine and eight might be a seven seed. And when you look at their schedule and you start going through it, it's like a miracle of a schedule. And you know what else was a miracle? Getting Travion Henderson because the Browns took his teammate two spots before. So my movie here, we circled it with Houston, but I think this is Commando. where it is, it's just like, it's just a little tester for what's to come or what I hope as a Patriots fan is going to come. It's like, oh, can Arnold carry his own movie where he's not just walking in and going, I'll be back.

44:07Bill Simmons:Oh, he can. He can be like a likable star of a thing. Oh, could this, could bigger things happen down the road? They could. Could there be a good infrastructure around Arnold in a movie that's repeatable? Oh, yes. Yeah, sure. So Commando is my pick. I know you love Commando.

44:25Kyle Brandt:I love Commando. My wonder, what I'm wondering about is the Stefan Diggs piece of this. Is he Bill? Is he a Radon Chong? Is he a Bill Duke? Is he Vernon Wells? I think he's Radon Chong.

44:40Bill Simmons:I think it's like we just kind of needed somebody where you recognize their name. Could we have spent more money on the actress? We probably could have. She's serviceable. Can she get 75 catches and 900 yards? She can. And that's it.

44:56Kyle Brandt:I think Diggs is going to have 90 catches this year. I know that people are down on him and they think he's a jackass or something. His stock is low. He's such a professional on the field. He's so, so good at wide receiver. And he took Josh Allen from adolescence to adulthood. I think he's going to do it again. I love Diggs this year. My only issue, the ceiling for me that makes it unattainable is just that offensive line isn't good enough to give Drake May the time that he's going to need to get 90 balls into the... It's a way better offensive line this year,

45:24Bill Simmons:and it's still not that good. Right. They were an F-minus-minus last year. It was an offensive line. It was the worst offensive line they've ever had since I've been a Patriot fan. And now they're going to be... A D? No. I think they're going to be like a C. Okay. Maybe a C+. I'm not going to sit here and argue with you about it because last year, Washington was forecasted to have one of the four worst offensive lines in the entire NFL. You look at every forecast, and then they came in, and scheme-wise, with Kingsbury and with the weapons that they had, they ended up being a very serviceable offensive line.

45:55Bill Simmons:I mean, they had, when you look at the coaching staff they had last year, it's people that aren't in football. I get it. It's a great point. I don't know what Mayo's doing. I don't know where Alex Van Pelt is. You're going down the line. I don't know if these guys are in pro college, high school. Who knows? You're up again with the ninth pick, Kyle. um the ninth pick all right well i had this is where i had the bangles

46:23Kyle Brandt:i had cincinnati here just on the outside and listen i this is where i run into the i have predator i i know billy already claimed predator but it's just like so many so many just huge giant expensive violent weapons with no ability to defend themselves they just sit there like a sitting fucking duck and the predator goes in and steals Jesse, the body's body. There's nothing they can do about it. And it's pretty cool. And they got mini guns and Jamar Chase is old painless, but like they really have no way of protecting themselves against this, this superior weaponry.

46:58Bill Simmons:You just violated the draft. I know.

47:01Kyle Brandt:So I got to go with another movie.

47:03Bill Simmons:I have an idea for this. If you want, if you, I don't know if the Samaeus can help each other. yeah give me give me something i had tango and cash written down for them and here's why it's not a good movie it's super entertaining i don't know why it's so entertaining but it is you just get to hang out with stallone and kurt russell yes they have this weird kind of back and forth stuff uh And Stallone's trying to be hilarious. He's like this hilarious, wisecracking, really into the stocks. And it's just a fun hang, and you never think it's going to win the Oscar or be that good. And I think that's the Bengals.

47:46Bill Simmons:I just think they're a fun hang. They're never going to really do anything. Their defense is going to be bad. Zach Taylor are too close. Chase and Burrow are cool, too. That does, like, there's a cool factor with Swayze. You'd want anybody from this team on your fantasy team. You enjoy it. I'll buy it on 4K Blu-ray.

48:04Kyle Brandt:Predator's too good of a movie to go to the 2025 Bengals. This is good. We're in agreement.

48:10Bill Simmons:That's where my head's closed.

48:11Kyle Brandt:Highly watchable. I think that's a word for both of those things.

48:14Bill Simmons:Tango and Cash. Plus like Burrow and Chase. Literally Tango and Cash. Alright. My next one this is gonna hurt. See I'm taking movies right off Kyle's board. I don't mean to. That's alright. It's not a zero-sum game. I have Pittsburgh right here. Okay. I don't think they're a playoff team. I don't know if Aaron Rodgers even gets through the season. I think it's completely unrealistic that he's going to be good this year. I don't see the case. I watched him play football last year. I don't know why he'd be better a year later. I don't think he wants to get hit anymore. The way that team cratered last year, the Metcalf thing, they kind of went sideways with the skill positions.

48:54Bill Simmons:Their offensive line will be a little bit better. Schedule is pretty hard. and I just grabbed out for justice here because I think it's a season where there's just a moment where Tomlin's just wandering around going has anyone seen Richie? Has anyone seen Richie? But he really means a quarterback because this is year 8 for him not having a quarterback. Year 9 and it just feels like has anyone seen Richie season for the Steelers? They'll probably go 8-9, 9-8, whatever but I don't think they're a playoff team.

49:26Kyle Brandt:I'm going to keep coming back to 9-8 until somebody remembers seeing the divisional round. It's good. It's good. That was excellent. The case for Aaron Rodgers being better this year is that he is a full year now rehab away from the Achilles. I mean, you know, if you want to advance the argument that he was back too early from the Achilles, definitely you would make that argument with Kirk Cousins. Was he back a year too early from not wanting to get hit anymore?

49:57Bill Simmons:Because he didn't want to get hit last year. There was a lot of disarray. Now, some of it he certainly had a hand in. I'm not absolving him of the disarray in that Jets situation, but this is a different situation. I'm really, really, really intrigued by Arthur Smith and Aaron Rodgers. Really. KB, what are you hearing? How is that relationship going?

50:21Kyle Brandt:I went to Steelers camp. I sat with Rodgers. I watched. And, God damn, the ball flies out of his hand. We know that. Like, it's very impressive. And the Arthur Smith thing is very strange from the get-go because Arthur Smith's like, run the shit out of the ball. Just run left, run right, do the Falcons thing, what I did with those two running backs. You wouldn't think. And the weird part about it is Rodgers had no say in picking him. Rodgers brought Nate Hackett to the Jets. There's no Alan Lazard. Randall Cobb is not on the studio. It's not like his whole crew where he's Vinny Chase and he brought Turtle and E.

50:53Kyle Brandt:There's none of that. He just is there because Tomlin is the coach and Tomlin always is in the playoffs.

50:59Bill Simmons:All right, you monitor this training camp stuff closely and you've gone to training camps. Yeah. Why do we believe any story about anything that these guys say in the training camp? Like, who's going to be like, yeah, we haven't really liked him. He's been kind of a dick. No, but those stories do leak out. Like, that's why everybody's got their eye on the Dolphins. We'll get to them eventually, right? Yes. Those stories are leaking out of Miami. Like, you know. That's a good point.

51:26Kyle Brandt:It's like you're skeptical of X players in the best shape of his life and has recommitted himself to fitness and lost this much. It all matters in this time of year. It's what we do in August.

51:35Bill Simmons:Well, the thing that, and I've talked about this, the one thing I do look for is the raving quotes from the teammates and coaches about like a new quarterback, a rookie. and this is where the Cam Ward thing becomes so interesting because the way they talk about Cam Ward it's very similar to Daniel's last year you can see from the moment Daniel showed up in Washington and House and I were texting during the summer I was like, House, did you did you get a quarterback? It seems like you got a quarterback everyone's like blowing this blowing this draft I wouldn't let myself believe it I was like, oh, this is the thing he didn't want to be hurt when did you start believing House?

52:13Kyle Brandt:when was the moment? That pass that he threw to Terry McLaurin on Monday Night Football against the Cincinnati Bengals. Over the shoulder. And took the hit. Yep. I got chills. I'm almost getting chills right now thinking about it again. It's just so unexpected to see a guy with that level of poise. And it was like there was a bucket to drop it into that was like barely the size of the football. God damn, that was a badass play. That made me believe.

52:36Bill Simmons:Well, how sadly you're up. And the following teams are left. Indianapolis, Jacksonville, the Jets, Miami, Tennessee, and Cleveland. And you have to go. You have to take one of those teams. Who are you taking? Miami. And the reason that I'm taking Miami is because it's one of two outcomes for them. And for sure, everybody's got their antennae up. Everybody's paying attention. Like when the odds board opens for first coach to be fired, it's going to be Mike McDaniel's name at the very top. and all we've been talking about is that hot seat for him, the hot seat for Tyreek. But the talent is still there and on both sides of the ball.

53:20Like if Jalen Phillips and Bradley Chubb can play 12 games this coming season on defense.

53:26Bill Simmons:Yeah, they have certain skill sets. Yeah. They can rush the passer. They have speed. Then there's other parts of the team where it's like, yeah, we just don't have an offensive line. Yeah, we're just not going to have a secondary this year.

53:37Kyle Brandt:Well, the thing with McDaniel, his apologists say, his record with Tua as a starting quarterback is excellent. He wins. It's a huge if. When he has a starting quarterback, he wins. So what's a movie that's like one extreme or the other?

53:52Bill Simmons:I had an idea for this but Kyle, you go because I've kind of strong-armed you in a couple of days.

53:59Kyle Brandt:I don't think we burned this. This is where I'm ready. I have a chip that is very special to me. This is where I'm ready to burn my Cobra chip. I think Marion Cabretti is Mike McDaniel. Just eccentric for eccentric's sake. Like, doesn't even really make sense. You know what I mean? It's just like, why are you being that strange? You can just be straight with us sometimes. And it's like, I can see McDaniel with the aviators and a match in his mouth and talking about his run game. You're like, guys, defense is a disease and I'm the cure. Like, that fits to me. It seems like him.

54:32Bill Simmons:He would definitely eat pizza by cutting it with scissors.

54:35Kyle Brandt:Yeah, just scissors, frozen pizza. I think Tyreek is like this really cool like bladed weapon with spikes. He's the Night Stalker. I think Cobra is down in South Beach. I do.

54:45Bill Simmons:House and I went to breakfast and I was walking him through the movies on the list because he didn't remember something. Fun. That's a fun breakfast. And I was just like. It's a great breakfast. Yeah, if somebody had overheard it, they would have thought we were just two lunatics. But we get to Cobra. I'm like, Cobra. Stallone just lost his mind.

55:01Kyle Brandt:Yep.

55:01Bill Simmons:He just loses his mind. And at one point he eats pizza by cutting it with scissors. He kills 230 people and mumbles all his lines and has a toothpick in his mouth. And it's an incoherent movie that we both love.

55:13Kyle Brandt:There's no guardrails. Just do anything, Sly. Nothing. It's no one stepping in to tell him that would never happen. And that's why it's fun to watch. That's the dolphins, too.

55:22Bill Simmons:I had over the top in that splot for many of the same reasons you just laid out. Completely ridiculous. Incomprehensible. Not sure why it happened. Multiple major, major holes in the movie. And yet, still weirdly enjoyable. Okay. That means I am now up. So. I can't believe I'm doing that. I hate the AFC South. I really do. It's tough, isn't it? I've changed my mind on the Indianapolis, Jacksonville, Tennessee thing. And I thought I had kind of landed on Indianapolis for a split second. And then the Danny Dimes thing, I just can't do Jacksonville. My body keeps rejecting it like a kidney. It's understandable.

56:05Bill Simmons:And I keep kind of veering toward Tennessee for the second place spot, maybe. which we already have bets on them finishing in fourth place. So it's like a zag just on things we bet on. And it really comes down to like, they have a good offensive line. Yep, they do. They might have a quarterback who's special right away, which we've seen year after year after year now where this one quarterback will come in and just be good right away. They have some things they can do. Like maybe they'll have a little bit of a pass rush. Yeah. Maybe they'll have an easy schedule. So you can kind of start talking yourself into pieces, but it's really the cam word piece.

56:43Bill Simmons:I want to ask Kyle this, and I want to ask it in a way that won't get him in trouble with anybody.

56:48Kyle Brandt:Okay, go on, go on. I didn't see any team last year that was worse coached than the Tennessee Titans.

56:56Bill Simmons:Well, so that was the hesitation. It was spultifying. The special teams, like some. But how much of that was Will Levis, though? Will Levis didn't play special teams. Their special teams was an abomination. yeah no i know that they they brought in you know an adult finally on that that side of it but i'm just gonna put it politely i have maddie callahan questions i have callahan questions how about sure and and until those get answered why is this making kyle uncomfortable they talk about shit like this every day a good morning football i don't have to tell the league line

57:29Kyle Brandt:that hard it's how it's cool house i i'm the only one who's critical it's fine i don't care good I don't think they're going to fire me because I say the Titans coach has questions about it. Right.

57:38Bill Simmons:They're like, hey, did you hear what Kyle agreed with this Tennessee coach? I thought they were point shaving last year. That's how bad it was. Yeah. I call them the Tennessee point shavers. I never told you my movie for them. Oh, yeah. What do you got? Kindergarten Cop. Because Kindergarten Cop, first of all, gives the feeling of youth, which is what they have with Cam Ward. Right? He's too young. They can't do anything. He just got there. The team's a mess. Kindergarten Cop's a movie that when you saw the trailer, you just assumed it was going to be terrible. I'm old enough, unfortunately, to remember seeing the trailer.

58:17Bill Simmons:Arnold's really lost it. What the fuck is he making this movie? This is just going to be a bomb. I can't believe it. Then it turned out to be really good.

58:27Kyle Brandt:It's one of these annoying things that our heroes all did. is they're like, I can't do action movies forever. I got to show my diversity. I'm like, God damn it. Just make the fucking action movies. It's like when you go to a concert of a band you loved in the 80s and they're like, hey, this is one of our new ones. I'm like, oh shit, I'm going for a beer. It's like that. Don't do that. But they do.

58:45Bill Simmons:And it worked in this case. So I got them there.

58:47Kyle Brandt:Yeah, and twins worked and a lot of them worked for him.

58:50Bill Simmons:House, you have... Are you next? Yeah.

58:55Kyle Brandt:I lost track, Bill. Yeah, I lost track too. Give it to Kyle. I'll go if you want. Yeah, Kyle, you go.

58:59Bill Simmons:Yeah, I think Kyle hasn't gone.

59:02Kyle Brandt:All right. I like that. I feel like a janitor just mopping up the hallways of the AFC South. We have to do it.

59:09Bill Simmons:The real point is it doesn't really matter who goes at this point. But you go. Who do you have?

59:13Kyle Brandt:All right. I'm going to go to Duval County. You got the Jags. I got the Jags. I'll take this one for us, Bill. And this one is on a T for what the movie is. This is definitely double impact. This is like, listen, back in the day, people were like, we need more Van Damage. We need two Van Dams in one movie. And House, I'll give you one wild guess who gets a screenwriting credit for this movie. Take a guess. I can't. I can't imagine. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Screenwriting fucking credit. On the screen, my hot take, Bill, about Double Impact is that Sinners is just a ripoff of Double Impact. And Michael B studied tape of Van Damme and that Smoke and Stack were just Alex and Chad.

59:55Kyle Brandt:Totally ripped off. Van Damme did it first. That's great. That's it. That's great. But obviously the connection is Travis Hunter. They need a double impact. He needs to do two characters. They draft him to be the defensive guy, the wide receiver guy, and we'll see if it works. Double impact doesn't totally work. Trevor Lawrence in this case would be Bolo Young. He was like great physical gifts, but never really wins. So that's where I'm at. It's right there for you. Double impact Travis Hunter.

1:00:21Bill Simmons:I really like it. I don't have a lot of notes other than to mention that not only did Van Damme co-write the movie, I wonder if he bought First Draft. Do you think he loaded it into his computer? Do you think Van Damme had a computer? No. But he plays twins, and he plays the twins differently. But, you know, even in Sinners, the twins, they're a little different, but, you know, they sound... Van Damme's like, no, one guy is going to be this guy, and the other guy... And it's a really bad movie that I can't believe we haven't done on the rewatch.

1:00:52Kyle Brandt:There's a part where a woman starts to put her hand down Van Damme's pants, and she goes, am I going to get a surprise? and he goes, yeah, big surprise. And you're like, Jesus, what are we doing here? Just kick somebody. He wrote that.

1:01:04Bill Simmons:He wrote that.

1:01:06Kyle Brandt:Big surprise, a big penis.

1:01:07Bill Simmons:Yes, that's him. He liked that one. That's great. All right, three teams left. You can have Indianapolis, the Jets, or Cleveland here. I'm taking the Jets, and we're squarely in the Seagal-Van Damme division, I think, movie-wise, right? It's got to be one of those. So if I can suggest a movie here, as an action somaier, I mean, you could do The Running Man, the double entendre, because Aaron Glenn is just like, we're just running. We're just going to run the ball a lot. And then we're going to keep running it. Is there a scenario where the Jets can win eight or nine games this season? I mean, yeah.

1:01:46Bill Simmons:How many Justin Fields conversations have you had on the show in five years? He's pulling his hair out.

1:01:51Kyle Brandt:Yeah. And you know why? I've seen a lot of Justin Fields a lot a lot and he is like the greatest person and the greatest employee he doesn't say shit and he works really hard and he gets his ass kicked he almost never wins the game he starts and then when he finally did win some games Mike Tomlin benched him for Russell Wilson it's a very odd legacy so I love him I'm rooting for him but like it's also the longest playoff drought in like major professional sports so is this did Justin Fields in year one of Aaron Glenn's gonna break it I don't think it's like

1:02:20Bill Simmons:I went back of my notes from last year for all the podcasts I hosted to just try to jog my memory because we always get amnesia after the season and before they benched fields there was a game that they won but I did a whole section I wrote out a whole section to do in the pod about like fields doesn't have it they actually have to go to Russell Wilson he's not good enough um because he just you know especially if you're down what was that game was that maybe Dallas where they were down and he had to do a drive at the end he's just not accurate enough I know so So it might be, I think I've said before, I think they're going to be the tease buster this year.

1:02:56Bill Simmons:There's going to be like two games this year that they win 16 to nine and they have to lead the whole game. And you had the other team as part of a three-team 10-point tease and you can't believe like Cincinnati's losing to the Jets in the fourth quarter. Let's go to Cincinnati where Justin Fields just ran. So you're just like, I can't believe I bet on Cincinnati. What am I doing? I just, I'm not going to bet anything involving the Jets because their defense and Aaron Glenn together, like, they're still talent on that defense. They do have talent. It was a disaster what happened with Salah leaving and the difference between what, you know, what that defense was capable of when Salah was still there.

1:03:35That was the only unit that had any kind of semblance of, like, competent football. And, I mean, their schedule is the problem.

1:03:43Bill Simmons:We're in a terrible pace. We got to keep moving. We can't spend this time.

1:03:46Kyle Brandt:We ran in on Running Man for that, Bill?

1:03:47Bill Simmons:Let's do, yeah, let's lock down the Running Man for that. Okay, good. All right. You have the second and last one here, Kyle, and then I'll go last. You can have Indianapolis or Cleveland. Tough podcast already for Danny Dimes.

1:04:00Kyle Brandt:I'm going to go. I'm going to go Cleveland and I'm going to go Jim Cotta. You're going wild card. Wild card Jim Cotta. Cleveland is like, we have Miles Garrett and that's it. Jim Cotta is like, we have a pommel horse and we will kick the shit out of you with it. I don't care what else is going on. You give us a pommel horse and we will kick. That's all. It's really like one asset that they're bringing and all kinds of other shit going on with quarterbacks and ninjas and attacks. I got the Cleveland Browns as Jim Cotta, Bill, and I hope I didn't steal your wild card. So does this mean you've watched Jim Cotta?

1:04:37Kyle Brandt:I've seen Jim Cotta like a seamstress, like in pieces.

1:04:41Bill Simmons:I've been poking it with it for the last couple of years. Oh, let's go. Well, for rewatchables, I'm just like, hey, can you check out Jim Cotta? like he badgered me for out for justice for two years and I finally did it. And guess what? I was, it made my year. I'm so happy that I, that I dove in out for justice. He won't oblige with Jim Cotta. You can't do a full hour on Jim Cotta. How do you do it? Oh, we definitely can. It's in the running for the worst sports movie of all time. Cause it's Kurt Thomas as Kurt Thomas coming off the 84 Olympics star gymnast and they make an action movie for him.

1:05:17Bill Simmons:and he just has to do gymnastics action shit. It's amazing. It's a mesmerized movie. It's one of the funniest movies ever. It's stunning. Yeah. All right. I'm going to take Indianapolis then, who somehow fell to the 16th seed in this.

1:05:35Bill Simmons:We're going to do True Lies here. All right. Go on. Yeah, I'm sorry. No, do it. I just think a lot of lies left and right coming from this franchise, Just things that the Richardson and I, all of it just seems, I don't think they had any intention of bringing him back. I think there's a lot of stuff behind the scenes with that. They're saying that we're not seeing, uh, they spent money on dimes to come in. Dimes is not remotely close to the guy he was in 2022 when he wasn't even that good. And I just think they're out on Richardson and I don't even know, like I would have tried to trade him in August.

1:06:11Bill Simmons:Just be like, you know what? We fucked this up. It was the fourth pick in the draft. We took a swing. I have two questions about that. Yeah. Kyle, how invested was Shane Steichen in that draft pick? I think very. Yeah. Is that the story? Steichen saw him. That was the guy.

1:06:27Kyle Brandt:We're going to find the weapon of tomorrow. That wasn't Ursae. It was Steichen. I mean, when you draft a quarterback that high, the owner is very involved as well, especially that owner. Yeah. So I don't even know who was it. Was it Ballard, Steichen, Ursae? Maybe that's why we are where we are. Okay.

1:06:43Bill Simmons:True Lies is a good movie and Indianapolis is going to be a bad team. And by the way, we have to stop talking about them because we're way behind on pace now. We're going to go to the NFC. We're going to take a break and we're going to rip through the NFC. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes, yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady calculated money moves and the financial wins just keep coming.

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1:08:03Bill Simmons:PayPal Inc. NMLS 910457. four or five, seven. All right. We're coming back. We just did the AFC. We each had a different one seat for the AFC. I can't wait to see what happens in the NFC. Plus we have a lot of good movies left, including, uh, I think we have under siege above the law over the top terminators available. Point break, rainbow two, sudden death. Toy soldiers is still available under siege to Rocky four above the law. Demolition man, a couple of wild cards, blood sport. So we have some good stuff here. and Kyle, you're going to lead us off with, I don't think it'll be a surprising one seed for the NFC, but who you got?

1:08:44Kyle Brandt:I got the Lions.

1:08:46Bill Simmons:Wow.

1:08:46Kyle Brandt:I do. I got the Lions.

1:08:48Bill Simmons:I'm surprised. We're both surprised. I have the Lions.

1:08:50Kyle Brandt:I know. And I know all the attention is on Philly. I'm going to go with the Lions and I'm going to go with under siege for the Detroit Lions. Ryback is just like, I'm just a cook. And Campbell's like, I'm just a coach. But you know, both of them want to get in there and kick ass. You got all these new weapons. There's Tommy Lee. There's Busey. Jameer Gibbs is a laniac, just hot as hell, fulfilling different kinds of fantasies. It's under siege, the Lions, exactly what they are.

1:09:17Bill Simmons:That's great. I have them lower in the seeds than I had under siege too for them. So I thought that's pretty funny. Wow. Fucking awesome. I love when they're amazing. You got under siege one. That's the difference in how we feel about the Lions. He's feeling an under siege season. I'm more in the under siege too. I was telling House about under siege because I don't think he'd ever seen it. And as soon as I got to Erica Oleniak jumping out of a birthday cake, he was like, say no more. I'll watch it. I mean, so lions, you're not worried about. Coordinators.

1:09:48Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

1:09:48Bill Simmons:So that would be like, in this case, it'd be like, it's diehard on a boat. We're not worried about it's too close to die.

1:09:53Kyle Brandt:But all those movies are like, you know, the odds are against Dan Campbell. That's just the way he likes it. This season is about like, are you just some meathead who had really smart coordinators and this is going to catch up with you? Or is Dan Campbell truly like Mike Ditka? Is he the real thing? We'll find out. I think he is.

1:10:10Bill Simmons:So here's, I just want to make this as a PSA. You can't be all in on the Bears and Ben Johnson being a genius and how great he's going to be for the Bears, but then also be all in on the Lions being good this year. Okay. Like it's, to me, that's the seesaw and you got to pick a side on the seesaw. Yeah, I know which side I'm on. So if you don't think, if you don't think the Ben Johnson loss is going to be a huge thing for Detroit, then you can't also then pick the Bears to go 11-6 because Ben Johnson's their coach. I'm going to take Philly here. This was a pretty easy movie. I had Rambo, First Blood 2.

1:10:45Bill Simmons:First Blood, big movie, influential. The best acting is Stallone's career other than maybe maybe the Mickey dying scene. It's so much to do. It's so much to do. So Rambo, they're making First Blood 2. There weren't a ton of sequels. The sequel thing had really started in the late 70s. And they started to feel money grabby by around 84, 85. It's like, oh, they're bringing this back. Boy, was I glad they did.

1:11:18Kyle Brandt:I know.

1:11:19Bill Simmons:And they took it. They blew it out. They threw some steroids literally and figuratively into it. They made it absurd. It had iconic moments and scenes. and was in some ways better than the first movie. I still like the first movie.

1:11:33Kyle Brandt:More weapons, more muscles. There's a love story in it. There's helicopters shooting missiles. They're just adding shit. John Kreese is in there. It's just like, put it all in. Yes, more, more, more. It was like the Bash Brothers of a movie. Just like big, beefy forearms and muscles and hitting Jack's house. It was great.

1:11:49Bill Simmons:So Eagles, they won the Super Bowl last year. So how do you top that? Well, just fucking make it more cartoony. Run it back. More. Run the tush push every time. Run it back, baby. Try to see if Devonta Smith can get 200 yards in a game. Just come up with the fake hurts injury. So Tanner McKee, you can showcase him for a game because you're trying to trade him before week seven. I'm ready for all of it. And that's my pick. How's your up? Third pick. Out of respect to the Washington franchise, I'm not going to select them here. Okay. But I am going to select the Green Bay Packers out of respect for the NFC.

1:12:24Wow, that's high. It is high. That's exactly right. But I think that this is a 10 to 11 win team. And the winner of the NFC West, I have around 10 wins. Not much more than that. And the winner of the NFC South is like a 10 win team. So I'm fine with Green. I think Green Bay, the combination of their head coach and their quarterback, if their quarterback is healthy all season long, I like that combo better than any of the other divisions. Mainly because the LA Rams with Matthew Stafford's back have taken a significant drop for me. I would have had the Rams, honestly, in this spot because of how much progress their defense made last season.

1:13:02Their defense was incredible the last six games of the season. So the Rams would have been, but I'm not touching an old quarterback with a bad back. So I'm putting Green Bay in here because of out of respect for LaFleur, out of respect for Jordan Love and their defense. They changed that defensive coordinator and very quietly, Jeff Hathaway had a good season last season. I thought they're still thin the secondary Green Bay, but help me out here. a quality team. They gave the Eagles everything the Eagles wanted. Oh yeah. They were right there.

1:13:32Bill Simmons:So the profile is basically they're young. They're coming on. Could this be the year, the year away? What are we getting from Jordan Love? I had point break written down for them.

1:13:44Kyle Brandt:Interesting.

1:13:44Bill Simmons:It's like Keanu had been in our life for a few years. Could he lead a movie? Swayze's coming off ghost and roadhouse. It's like, could he be a bleach blonde, cool surfer? So the Swayze Keanu is your LeFleur Jordan love? There were just questions when it's coming out, but I also really wanted to see it. And then it delivered. So how's this case putting Green Bay here? You're just like, there's some young pieces here.

1:14:12Kyle Brandt:What's crazy about Green Bay too is like, House, there's no buzz. They're very quiet. Yeah, I love that. Because everyone's talking about the Bears and the Lions and what's J.J. McCarthy going to look like. They're by far the most quiet team in the league. that's probably good. I don't know if we saw Point Break, Catherine Bigelow, middle of summer hit, like being that big of a hit. Point Break's one of my favorite movies of all time. I think it was way better than everybody thought. That would be Green Bay. Okay.

1:14:36Bill Simmons:Good one. So we have a top three of Detroit, Philly, and Green Bay. Interesting. Two division champions, not even brought up yet. You have the fourth pick, Kyle. Who do you have?

1:14:47Kyle Brandt:All right, well, I'm going to need some help from the sommelier because my picks here at the top of the NFC, the movies are all gone. So we'll go Samae to Samae here. Yeah, I need help. I have the Buccaneers. I have them right there for a bunch of reasons. Not only is the NFC South pretty light, I like Baker. I like Bowles. And nobody plays the Eagles harder than the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Ask any Eagles fan who plays them the best, the Bucs. They knocked them out of the playoffs a couple of years ago. They play awesome. If they were to run into Philly in the playoffs, they could beat them. but I also had Bill I had written down that Baker has Bodhi energy it's not tragic to die doing what you love but point break is off the board so are you feeling anything for like young hot shot Baker a lot of baggage there it hasn't got it done yet what do you think so this was my favorite one of

1:15:36Bill Simmons:the 32 for the movie great um and one of the reasons I came up with this dumb idea that people are probably pouring gasoline oh this is awesome I'm having a great time I don't care if people like this or not?

1:15:45Kyle Brandt:I am too.

1:15:47Bill Simmons:For me, it's obviously Toy Soldiers. Oh. Baker Mayfield, Sean Astin. Young, scrappy. Like, Sean Astin can't be the lead of a movie. What are we doing? He's 5 '7". He's going to be John McClane in a boarding school, saving a boarding school from terrorists. This movie's ridiculous. How is it working?

1:16:05Kyle Brandt:Great.

1:16:05Bill Simmons:And same thing for Tampa. Like, this is ridiculous. How are they... Godwin's coming back from an ACL. They've lost McMillan for a half year. this Ohio State receiver, Miraculous, he falls to them at 21, who's going to be awesome. He's going to be awesome. Mike Evans is still good. Like, what are we doing? Worfs they're not going to have for four weeks. How are they scoring 38 points in this game? I just think it's going to be a lot. And then you have scrappy, underdog, tiny Baker Mayfield, a.k.a. Sean Astin.

1:16:34Kyle Brandt:Yeah, I thought that Todd Bowles would be Lou Gossett, but Mike Evans is so old, I think it might be him. And I also think that Toy Story, or not Toy Story, Toy Soldiers, the villain is really bad, right? We've talked about that. Like that villain is not great. The NFC South, the villain is not very good. Like there's not someone who's really intimidating there. So I love, you know, I love toy soldiers. Great call.

1:16:54Bill Simmons:Yeah, I don't know who Wil Wheaton is in this. Because when we, Kyle and I broke this down two years ago and we slow-moed a couple Wil Wheaton scenes and just went like really, really intensely in on some of the stuff he was doing. I don't know who that character is in this Tampa.

1:17:11Kyle Brandt:It's gotta be Bucky Irving. He's looking to fight, but maybe not really. I like Bucky. He's up and coming. He's going. I think Jason Light, the GM, is Marcus Brody from the Indiana Jones. We could do the whole casting, Bill. The fact that this was what launched what we were doing is perfect. Toy Soldiers and the Bucks. I'm in.

1:17:30Bill Simmons:All right. So now we have Detroit, Philly, Green Bay, Tampa. I am up with the five seed. And it's a team that I actually had a whiff higher than that. And I'm just confessing. This is full confession time because I think I'm locked in. House is not going to like this. It's fine. It's the Seattle Seahawks who I think are going to win the NFC West.

1:17:52Kyle Brandt:Okay, I love this.

1:17:54Bill Simmons:I have... I needed a Nobody Believes in Us team. They qualify. I couldn't find one in either conference. How do they qualify for Nobody? They won 10 games last season. They're plus 550 to win the NFC West in a division that I think any of those four teams you can make a case for. Okay, that's fair. Why is Seattle plus 550 on FanDuel? There's almost six to one odds they're going to win the division. They were good. They had the division last year. They almost won it.

1:18:20Kyle Brandt:People are not excited about Sam Darnold. Let's just say what it is. Which makes the nobody believes in this thing.

1:18:26Bill Simmons:But this is the nobody believes in this part. They don't believe in Sam Darnold. He already went through this last year. They thought they got the receivers worse. They don't believe in Cooper Cup. Everyone's just blindly in on the Niners. And from a Zag standpoint, I think it's the best zag of the eight divisions where there's a case for it. I know. Their offensive line, Kubiak doing the zone blocking. Everybody's excited about that. They nailed the great Zabel pick. They nailed the draft house. They did. They did a great job with the draft. I agree with that. And guess what else they have? They have a defense that might be a top five defense.

1:18:59It's a very good defense.

1:18:59Bill Simmons:If you're making your top five defense draft, they have to be one of the candidates. They have a home field advantage. And I don't think their division is going to be very good because of the Stafford piece you mentioned earlier. So I have Seattle and my movie is sudden death.

1:19:12Kyle Brandt:Oh, awesome.

1:19:14Bill Simmons:Sudden death is a nobody believes in us movie. Okay. They're, they pitched this and the people in the room were like, no way stop. It's like, so man, it's like diehard, but it's during a hockey game.

1:19:27Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

1:19:28Bill Simmons:It's a penguins game.

1:19:30Kyle Brandt:Yes. Van Dam is basically going through a divorce.

1:19:34Bill Simmons:He's kind of a loser. He's just like a security guard type guy. and he's going to have to foil this terrorist attack. And at some point, he's going to play goal in the movie.

1:19:43Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

1:19:43Bill Simmons:And everyone in the room is like, I don't believe this. We shouldn't make this. I don't want to commit. And they're like, just trust me. Just trust me. And guess what? We've already done the rewatchables. It's a magical movie.

1:19:53Kyle Brandt:And they said, well, what if we have a scene where he fights the mascot in a kitchen? Would that work? Yes. Everything. House, the best thing about this movie is, can you imagine if a team, if a movie maker went to the NFL and they're like, can we have a thing where the Steelers and Cowboys are playing and the whole stadium's rigged with bombs and it's going to explode. And they're like, fuck no. The NHL's like, sure. You're going to make a movie about hockey? Take our jerseys? Whatever you want. Fine. If you want to blow up both teams, fine.

1:20:18Bill Simmons:Just cut the check. So Seahawks, nobody believes in them. Nobody believes in sudden death. I definitely don't believe in them. Well, there you go. It's a perfect pick. How's your up? I have San Francisco 49ers here. This is the right place for them. I think, where there is a bit of a large market movement in favor of the 49ers winning the West. You know, they have their penciled in the win total. It's just the NFC West is done. Just put them in there. They're the champs. It's just that they're the favorite. I mean, it's not, you know, it's still like everyone has them in the playoffs. Everyone's doing the three and three out.

1:21:00Bill Simmons:Well, the Niners will definitely be one of the team. They're just in. And meanwhile, they lost 10 guys who signed contracts for at least 10 million a year. on top of like McCaffrey, who knows? We don't know when I was coming back. They're already having like major wide receiver stuff. I don't know. I just have questions.

1:21:18Kyle Brandt:They just brought, they traded for Brian Robinson Jr. from commanders. Yeah. Really good running back. Really good. I just had a fantasy draft and that was fucking everybody up. I think he's going to get carries. I do. He's definitely going to get carries. He's a tough guy. This is one where you have to invest in, in, you know, the regression, which is to say they're not going to have the injury luck that they had last year. They're not going to have the worst defense in the second half of football games. They were an abomination in the fourth quarter of football games last year. The defense was a bottom five defense in all of those metrics.

1:21:49You say that Robert Sala with these guys starting from scratch. Robert, eight kids Sala. I know.

1:21:54Bill Simmons:There we go. Schraggs is probably texting him right now.

1:21:57Kyle Brandt:And they have the—

1:21:59Bill Simmons:Text me after you put the kids to Beth. I have some questions about the secondary.

1:22:02Kyle Brandt:Do you know I once had an exchange with Robert Sala that I'll share with you where I was like, dude, you're ripped. Like, you are so huge. What are you on? Like, do you take some sort of, like, creatine? Or he's like, no, I'm on PHW. And I was like, what's PHW? I'm Googling it. PHW. I go, what the hell is that? He goes, pure hard work. And I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. You're on pure hard work. I love this guy. That was an amazing story.

1:22:25Bill Simmons:Let's go. PHW. So you had the Niners winning the NFC West. I do. And you did a movie. I bet it. And I bet the Niners to win the AFC West, even though I think Arizona has a good, you know, it's an interesting team. I just can't do anything with the Rams. You disparaged Seattle and you like Arizona. I think Arizona is better than Seattle. And I think that's what's going to work out this year. It sounds like we're going to have to make a head-to-head bet. It's fine. Well, give me a movie for San Francisco. They have the easiest schedule in the NFL. That's part of the case for a while. I have a good one for this, but I stole the last one spot.

1:22:57Bill Simmons:No, no, no.

1:22:58Kyle Brandt:You do yours, Bill. I want to hear yours. no my my nine because my niners pick was um was cliffhanger just because like everything's so tragic with the front 49ers constantly and the cliffhanger is tragic but the cliffhanger's

1:23:12Bill Simmons:already been used so what do you got so i was thinking above the law because it's them coming out of the coma yeah yeah that's hard to kill hard to kill is coming out of the coma i mixed

1:23:23Kyle Brandt:up my seagals your three word titles they're tough they're tough but that's why i'm here i

1:23:27Bill Simmons:I mean, I would argue if I'm not the preeminent Seagal expert, you are. Thank you. And even I messed up the title just now. We all do. I just got above the law at Hard to Kill. Screwed up. Well, I'm going to go Hard to Kill for this. Maybe, House, that could be your random surprise pick. I like that. So Hard to Kill. Yeah. Seagal gets shot after a sex scene with his wife that became a rewatchables category.

1:23:56Kyle Brandt:Correct.

1:23:56Bill Simmons:because Seagal just starts going at it with the actress in a way that it's uncomfortable oh it's it's so we had like we had to create a category for like we this movie needed an

1:24:06Kyle Brandt:intimacy coordinator what's crazy is later in the movie he has a sex scene with his future wife and

1:24:10Bill Simmons:they have no chemistry right no chemistry at all there's way more chemistry with this actress but anyway he's in a coma comes out of the coma hasn't done anything for five years and sees senator trent on the tv oh yeah and senator trent says you can take ted to the bank and the first words he says is, I'm going to take you to the bank, the blood bank. And then all of a sudden has his strength back. Nobody's ever come back from a coma faster. That would be San Francisco coming back. Yes, so that heart to kill is the case. Great. Love it. I'm in. All right, you're up, Kyle Brandt. This would be the seventh seed on your board.

1:24:48Bill Simmons:Playoff team right here.

1:24:50Kyle Brandt:I got the Cowboys. Whoa! I got the Schottenheimer Cowboys. Wow. And my movie comp is Last Action Hero. I had that as well for them. See, Bill, the FanDuel odds of how many times can we nail the same movie on the same team? Why? Because it's just so fucking much. It's overproduced. It's loud. There's so many cameos. You can't keep track. It's still pretty good if you watch it. But what is Last Action Hero most remembered for? The soundtrack, Cypress Hill, Alice in Chains, and it's all the sound bites coming from Dallas, all the nonsense and the blather, but the movie is still pretty good even though it's just a fucking lot.

1:25:32Kyle Brandt:Last Action Hero Cowboys.

1:25:33Bill Simmons:Big budget, Arnold, a lot of attention. Ultimately disappointing. It's the perfect pick. It was one of the only no-brainer. It has to be Dallas. I had them lower on the list. I have them lower ranked, but the movie is a great movie. So the case is basically when Dak Prescott plays, they're usually pretty good. Yeah. They weren't good last year. Just with that cross-cut just before he got it. Just a play. All right, I'm up. I am taking the Bears of Chicago. Okay.

1:26:07Bill Simmons:And I might change this before Thursday, but right now I have them as a seven seed. I'm actually buying the Ben Johnson hype. Me too. And they've just, they've had good drafts. They've spent a lot of money. They beefed up stuff. Their biggest question is this left tackle thing where they just basically had an entire off season audition for this left tackle and then landed on the same guy they had last year. So that was enjoyable.

1:26:35Kyle Brandt:Braxton Jones.

1:26:38Bill Simmons:They just have a lot of talent and they have an easier schedule and easier road than those other teams, even though they're playing all the NFC North teams. The road is easier.

1:26:46Kyle Brandt:When did you know Jaden Daniels was good and you had the moment immediately? Yeah. The moment, Bill, I started trusting Ben Johnson was there was a moment in early in training camp where he screamed at Caleb, like was tearing him apart. They get to the press conference. The press goes, what was that about with Caleb? And he's like, he was late on the throw. He can't be late. And he knows that. And now he knows that even better. I was like, holy shit. Like, Caleb is the ultimate for real. And I self-made millionaire. Everybody kisses his butt. And now Ben Johnson's like, fuck you, kid. Like, be on time with my throw.

1:27:15Kyle Brandt:I love it.

1:27:16Bill Simmons:one other thing with them, they play the Vikings week one, Monday Night Football at home. And they're catching the Vikings at an optimal time where there's a bunch of shit going on with them. And if you want to play them, you want to play them that week. Then they're at Detroit, home Dallas, at Vegas, bye week, at Commanders, and then home Saints. And it really feels like they could be 5-2 coming out of that. They have to be for the season because the bottom half of their schedule is brutal. They have Green Bay twice. They're on the road at San Francisco in week Week 17. They host the Lions in Week 18.

1:27:48Bill Simmons:Everybody in that division has a tough road. So my movie for them is Rocky IV. Oh! Okay.

1:27:58Bill Simmons:You know, nobody believed in Caleb Williams. Could he be the guy? I know he got drafted. Just bear with me. Sorry, go. Just bear with me. Okay. Cook. Because deep down, there's this whole Bears QB thing that's lingered over the franchise forever. and then if he actually gets over the hump and the Russians are now cheering for Caleb Williams, it becomes a, you know, when I first got here, a lot of people were saying the Bears would never have a QB, but I guess it's better than 400 million people killing each other. And if I could change, and it just, I don't know. It would be Caleb climbing the mountain.

1:28:38Kyle Brandt:Yes.

1:28:39Bill Simmons:And doing the, ah, Drago, Jim McMahon! Doing the Drago yell.

1:28:44Kyle Brandt:he's in Lambeau Field and it's like a few cheers now for Caleb Williams right yeah so yeah I don't know for some reason Rocky Forest struck me I do love that I have him over 4 ,000 yards this year I bet that he's gonna do it I think yeah I mean if Luther Burden's good they might be genuinely dangerous the schedule is the problem

1:29:06Bill Simmons:but do you have a Loveland jersey yet Kyle or no

1:29:09Kyle Brandt:I have a Colston Loveland jersey I have an Olamide Zaccheaus jersey I have a Braxton Jones jersey a Joe Tune I have them all I can go get them right now I haven't but yes I do do you have them as a playoff team I do have them as a playoff team my list is getting convoluted but yes I think I do you know and for no other reason than like if not now when their defensive coordinator is perfect it's Dennis Allen who's not good as a head coach but a great defense coordinator so many weapons but I think to your point Bill like the most interesting game of week one for me is Vikings at Bears and the team that has to win the most week one is the Bears.

1:29:43Kyle Brandt:If you lose at home to J.J. McCarthy without Jordan Addison, that's so bad. So bad.

1:29:49Bill Simmons:House, we skip you on this one. We go back to Kyle for the next pick.

1:29:59Kyle Brandt:I actually have the Vikings. What? Wait, what number are we?

1:30:04Bill Simmons:This would be, I think, number nine? No, no, no. Are we eight or nine? nine because you had the Cowboys Detroit, Philly, Green Bay, Tampa, Seattle, Sam, Cisco, Dallas, Chicago. We're nine.

1:30:15Kyle Brandt:Take the Vikings back. I actually might choose an even crazier team. In my eight spot, I have the New York Giants. Oh my God. I love it. I love it.

1:30:27Bill Simmons:The only reason not to do it is the schedule is the scariest. It's terrible. It's the hardest schedule in the NFL.

1:30:35Kyle Brandt:I have to tell you guys, I love you. I fucking hate schedule talk. I hate it. I think it's usually so misleading. It's all based on last year. I don't know. It's a pretty daunting schedule. That team might end up sucking or have a million injuries. There's so much turnover. I'm personally not intimidated by schedules. I just not. My movie, it was already taken, but it was perfect. It was Kindergarten Cop. There's just all these fun little kids. You know what I mean? There's Scadaboo, and there's Dart, and there's Neighbors, and Dable and Russ are like Schwarzenegger and his partner. And also, in the history of the New York Giants, they have a player who's named Amani Toomer.

1:31:08Kyle Brandt:So I don't have another movie. It's kindergarten cop. And I just, the question is, and let's talk Giants House. I have it over under when does Jackson start? Jackson Dart start. Yeah. I have it week 4.5. What do you think? Wow. I thought it was going to be a little bit longer.

1:31:28Bill Simmons:I think it's in, I think it's in September. So you can't do kindergarten cop because you took it. Can I suggest?

1:31:35Kyle Brandt:Yes.

1:31:36Bill Simmons:First blood. And here's why. Did we do first blood yet? We did first blood too. Did we do first blood? I don't remember. Hold on. I'm looking through. Yeah, we didn't do it. We did Jim Codd. I know that. We didn't do first blood. The problem with the Giants at this spot, there's a cognitive dissonance here, right? Because if they're going to go to Jackson Dart in four games in, that means that they've lost. No, or he's so good, they feel like they have a pretty good team and they want to activate him. Here's why I'll go first blood. Or they're two and two,

1:32:05Kyle Brandt:and he just, Russ hasn't been good. and they run the ball and play defense and they're like, Russ, you got us on the ground but now let's go to the kid and the kid works. And he gets to go to the Saints and they go three and two at that point. Sounds great.

1:32:16Bill Simmons:Let me do my first blood case. You've interrupted me twice. We know you don't like the Giants pick.

1:32:21Kyle Brandt:Didn't you go over this at breakfast? Oh yeah, I did.

1:32:24Bill Simmons:Jackson Dart is just John Rambo walking through a small town trying to get some breakfast. Trying to stay out of everybody's way. And then he gets activated and fucking unleashes Holy Hill. And it's about the 20-minute mark of the movie, basically, when all of a sudden he's a superhero. That would be the case here for Jackson Dart when the Giants. He gets unleashed. It's like, oh, my God, he took down those three guys in the prison cell, stole a moped, and went into the mountains. This guy's a fucking badass. That would be the first web case. I really tried to talk myself into the Giants going 9 and 8.

1:33:05Bill Simmons:and that was the one schedule where I was like, holy shit.

1:33:08Kyle Brandt:Guys, don't be scared by the fucking schedules and look at the teams and like, don't worry about the schedules. Are they going to beat the Chiefs? No. Even though it's at home, but are they going to beat the Chargers at home? Maybe. I hate that.

1:33:20Bill Simmons:I hate Giants fans because they took two Super Bowls for me and remind me about it all the time. I'd actually be happy for them if the Giants were good. Like if Scadabo is getting goal line carries and Jackson Dart's good. That is fun. And they have like a pass rush that's the 07 Giants again. It's like, this is fun. Tremendous combination.

1:33:35Kyle Brandt:And they go to Russ, and they go after four weeks, Russ, it's over. And he goes, no, bitch.

1:33:43Bill Simmons:It's over, Russ. Well, the other case for them, and this is sadly, does not apply to Indianapolis because they're not going to be good, but this is a we all get fired if the season doesn't work out team. Yeah. So if they think Jackson Darts good, they're going to play him.

1:33:54Kyle Brandt:There's a different kind of pressure with the Giants. Like, I think all those three other teams in the division have to do incredible things this year. The Giants are like, let's be, like, pretty good this year, and we have things to build on. I love Dable. I think he'll work. I do. I believe once they get Darden.

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1:35:30Bill Simmons:YouTube TV for local national games. YouTube TV required. Terms, restrictions, and embargoes apply. Commercial use excluded. No refunds. All right, so I'm up and I'm delighted because House interrupted me twice with the last team. Now I'm just going to take his team here. The Washington Commanders. I do not have them as a playoff team. They fit just about every regression exercise you're ever going to do. They check all the boxes. I'm still not sure if Jada Daniels can be healthy for 17 games, even though I respect the guy. Here's the thing. If they're a playoff team again, then Jaden Daniels just moves into that Josh Allen group of just, he's 10 wins a year for the rest of his life.

1:36:10Bill Simmons:I think this was a team that the fourth down locked last year, the schedule, the new coach replacing, the new coach bump. So many things went in their favor. They fucking completed a Hail Mary and ruined the Bears season. They just had a couple of ridiculous wins. I'm going Demolition Man for them for this season do it it should have, it looks good on paper this movie should have been awesome you got Stallone and Snipes and Sandra Bullock just feeling her oats out, cool premise there's a cryo prison I gotta chase somebody and it just Dennis Leary the pieces just didn't totally work by the way I've watched Demolition Man 12 times the pieces never really fit together, and I think that's going to be this Washington season.

1:36:59Bill Simmons:What pieces aren't fitting together for Washington? Much harder schedule. What about

1:37:04Kyle Brandt:the wide receiver? The wide receiver's still holding out. Oh, he's playing. He'll be in week one.

1:37:12Bill Simmons:You spent some money on these two defensive line guys who didn't really play last year. I'm not sure about your secondary at all. You got old guys everywhere. The secondary is better now. It's the oldest team in the NFL. The one thing I'll say out loud, I won't say the line because I respect you and Cousin Sal. They are favored by a number that is inappropriate against the New York Giants. One of the best bets for week one is playing the New York Giants against taking the number against Washington. Historically, those teams play each other tough. The front seven for the Giants is as good as any.

1:37:47The only case that I'll make for Washington is they got markedly better on offense. Assuming McClellan's back for week one, I keep assuming that. They're markedly better. The line is better. What they have in terms of a double-headed running back tandem with Rodriguez and Bill Jacory, whatever the extra. The hyphen guy. Yeah, exactly.

1:38:09Bill Simmons:Hyphen, but call me Bill, but I have three other names. And Debo in a Kingsbury system. I think it's going to be a dynamic offense. Counter. Go on. Did we see Debo's best years already? Of course. It doesn't matter. Are you going to have the same luck you had last year? Did we see Austin Eckler's best series previous to this point? 20 for 23 on fourth down conversions and completed a Hail Mary. They're going to keep going for it on third and fourth down. They're going to play four down offense all season long. I'm not saying that they're going to convert that number. I have them stepping back.

1:38:40They're not going to win 12 games this season. Where do you have them, Kyle?

1:38:43Kyle Brandt:I have them just on the outside. And I'll tell you how, I'm not talking shit here. I think they lose week one to the Giants. I'm petrified of it. You're not talking shit.

1:38:53Bill Simmons:I think that's a very, very sound observation. More importantly, we've never done Demolition Man on the rewatchables. Where do you stand on it?

1:39:02Kyle Brandt:Stand in great places. It's a lot of predicted a lot of the future. Wesley Snipes. And I look at the three seashells, kind of like the commander's wide receiver room. Like, we don't really know what they do. Like, what are those things? So we can go out. Taco Bell plays a role in it. The warden from Shawshank. It's great. I love it. Okay. Touchless sex. It's odd, but it's in the movie.

1:39:22Bill Simmons:It's a very strange movie.

1:39:24Kyle Brandt:All right, you're up.

1:39:25Bill Simmons:What do you got? Oh, I'm up? Yeah, you're up. All right, what number is this? Is this like 10 or 11? Yeah, we're in the double figures range.

1:39:33Kyle Brandt:All right, here's my sleeper. This is like my super, super, super sleeper. I like this team. I have the Carolina Panthers. Wow. Oh, man. Yes, based on this. I like the coach. I like the staff. I like the quarterback. I like how they played at the end of last year. They scared the shit out of the Eagles. They scared the shit out of the Chiefs. They were winning games down the stretch. And I think there's continuity. I like the draft picks. I like them to play in early December. I'm like, holy shit. When the playoff scenarios are up, the Panthers are in the hunt column or whatever it is. I really do.

1:40:07Kyle Brandt:I had them, Bill, as Terminator 1 because it's like, holy shit, where did this movie come from? Wow. But we've used Terminator, I think.

1:40:16Bill Simmons:Yeah, you have. Panthers. So what do we have left? it's not a lot of good picks left of movies, but, um, I mean, we do have under siege to left. I don't know. It doesn't really fit. Uh,

1:40:31Kyle Brandt:we have dark territory.

1:40:34Bill Simmons:That's the NFC South. We have, uh, over the top is left, but I don't know if you want to waste on the Panthers, but your excitement for the Panthers, maybe this is where over the top goes.

1:40:44Kyle Brandt:Over the top. And Bryce young is the child in the military Academy who learns how to be tough and learns how to arm wrestle and learns how to love his father, Dave Canales and David Tepper is the Robert Loja up there with all the money. Say, I want the kid like that. We can make that work.

1:40:58Bill Simmons:Yeah. And Matt Rowe is the mom.

1:41:04Kyle Brandt:Also, it's a very over the top pick to say the Panthers. So like it all works. I'm talking Panthers. Very over the top.

1:41:10Bill Simmons:I explained over the top to house today when I think he had a vague memory of it. And I was trying to explain how important it was.

1:41:16Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

1:41:17Bill Simmons:Wasn't. He was just thinking about boys from Carolco. Think about it. Yeah, our guys.

1:41:22Kyle Brandt:They're like, we want to make an arm wrestling movie, but we also want to make a truck driving movie. Let's save some money and just make it one movie. Fine.

1:41:28Bill Simmons:Merged them. We kind of fucked up the order. House was supposed to go there, but it's fine because I don't think he was going to take Carolina. I definitely was not going to take Carolina. So I'm going to jump. We'll make believe. House is up here, and then we'll jump in ahead. Who do you have here, House? I think Atlanta is interesting. I thought they were more interesting a couple weeks ago before all these injuries on their offensive line. But you can't overstate how much Curt Cousins sabotaged their season. It's not possible to over-exaggerate what he did. He single-handedly submarined them with that stretch of games that he had.

1:42:08He had by far the most fourth-quarter turnovers where the game was within one score. He had near the most turnovers that were returned for points.

1:42:19Bill Simmons:We don't need to hear about how bad Kirk Cousins was again. What the point is... Kirk's probably watching and you heard his feelings. He seems like such a nice guy. They have talent and they improved on defense, I think. The defense let them down over the course of the season. Well, they definitely spent next year's first round pick trying to improve their defense.

1:42:38Kyle Brandt:Well, listen, fantasy draft last night for me and everyone is saying, take Bijan number one. He's the guy. And I couldn't do it. I couldn't pull the trigger. It's like a Falcons running back in 2020. I like Bijan, and I think he's really talented, but the number one pick, I couldn't get there.

1:42:56Bill Simmons:All right, we're coming back. If you noticed that edit, that was because we couldn't figure out the movies. Then producer Steve Cerruti reminded us that we used Rocky IV to start this podcast, and then I did it again for the Bears.

1:43:08Kyle Brandt:Fine.

1:43:09Bill Simmons:I'm going to make the case Rocky IV eligible twice.

1:43:12Kyle Brandt:Do it. Do it a third time. You are the podfather.

1:43:16Bill Simmons:How about the Falcons? We haven't used Roadhouse yet. maybe this is a fun spot for Roadhouse. House thinks the Falcons are going to be exciting. They have a lot of fantasy guys. Nobody thinks it's going to win an Oscar. I don't know. There's some comedy. Why are you shaking your head sadly? No, it's the rowdiest bar south of the Mason-Dixon line. Yeah, it's somewhere in the south with Atlanta. I think that's the right call.

1:43:38Kyle Brandt:Hey, you know why? I got one. Have you seen this video where someone was chirping Michael Penix and calling him Michael Penis and he confronted him and it looked like he was about to roundhouse kick him or something like Dalton? Like, don't mess with Pennix. He doesn't think that's funny. So there you have it. He'll rip your throat right out.

1:43:53Bill Simmons:Yeah, and it's... And there's, like... I'm trying to figure out who Kyle Pitts is in this. Maybe it's the guy that gets sent in. It's Dalton's buddy who just gets the complete shit kicked out of him. And Kirk Cousins would be Sam Elliott. He's the old vet who might have to come in for one fight. Yeah, Robles makes sense. This is good. This is good. This is good.

1:44:13Kyle Brandt:Yes.

1:44:14Bill Simmons:Who is our guy, Brad Leslie, in this?

1:44:17Kyle Brandt:Brad West, is that like Arthur Black?

1:44:19Bill Simmons:Yeah, Arthur Black

1:44:20Kyle Brandt:I brought JCPenney here because of me

1:44:25Bill Simmons:Alright So Atlanta, then Carolina and then Minnesota is going to be my pick here and Minnesota can't believe it took this long to go I had a stretch where I had Minnesota winning the division at one point in early August and I might even have a Fandle bet when I was in Chicago on them to win like 10 games I just don't like what I'm smelling from this team the last couple weeks I think the defense is still going to be the defense just the combo of the McCarthy with some wide receiver uncertainty harder schedule stuff somebody kind of has to lose out of the NFC North and I just think I like Chicago more I just have a lot of questions with them offensively beyond Jefferson and we're just pushing McCarthy into this I know.

1:45:15Bill Simmons:When he missed all last year's coming off an injury, the more I stared at it, it just made me nervous. The thing that got me off of Minnesota was when you go into the numbers and look at how incredible Sam Darnold was on passes that were 20 yards or longer down the field, he led the league in every one of those submetrics having to do with longer passes down the league. And I have no confidence whatsoever that J.J. McCarthy will be able to replicate that. And it was a really important part of that Minnesota offense.

1:45:45Kyle Brandt:I think J.J. McCarthy is the most pivotal player in the whole NFL this year. Like so much weight. Is he good? Is he not? We have no fucking clue. He has this Lamborghini and Justin Jefferson. And you know how that goes. Like they start 0-2 and he throws a couple of picks. And it's like, well, we could have had Darnold still. Look at him. He's winning in Seattle. That's a bad storyline. So he seems like a great dude, McCarthy. But like it's a lot to step into. And he's played no football in the NFL.

1:46:08Bill Simmons:Ironically, I'm pairing those two storylines together with liking Seattle because I think the Sam Donald, nobody believes in us. But then also the Minnesota not being as good and people going, hey, you know, it's pretty good Sam Donald. Anyway, my movie is Bloodsport because the thing that is fun with them is their defense and Bloodsport is just a violent, incredible action movie. Chong Li, I think is, I'm not sure who.

1:46:33Kyle Brandt:The Lions. The Lions. It's Dan Campbell, basically. Bill, I got Bloodsport for the Vikings. I just so thrilled to tell you that. I got it written down. Wow, we've matched on like eight. You guys.

1:46:44Bill Simmons:If we had done Match Game, we would have won. We would have been going to Hawaii for a week.

1:46:47Kyle Brandt:At the beginning of Bloodsport, Van Damme's acting is so fucking bad. But by the end, it's like he does that scene with Ray Jackson where he's like, if you ever need me, my brother, I'll be there. I was like, holy shit, Van Damme. That's really good. I think that's how McCarthy has to be this year. It might start rough, but he'll get better in the Kumite that is the NFC North.

1:47:04Bill Simmons:Yeah, I think I said this when we did the pod. it's the best acted scene in a bad movie of all these movies yes he has this moment in the hospital and um and and what was this guy what was the guy's name ray jackson ray jackson he goes any time any place anywhere i got you or whatever he says and van damme's like i love you my brother and it's like why am i welling up it's fucking blood sport i'm getting choked up he used to

1:47:35Kyle Brandt:on the monitor taking off his headphones being like, cut? Wow! Guys, really good!

1:47:42Bill Simmons:It's getting no more takes. We're done. That's lunch.

1:47:49Bill Simmons:All right, you're... I'm up, I think, or is it... No, because we screwed up. So it was Carolina, Minnesota, now House is up, and I'm really excited for this one because I have the wine bottle ready for you. How do we not get to the Cardinals yet? Is that who you're taking? Yeah. I think the Cardinals are live this season. All of their offensive metrics were good. I mean, obviously the story is always what version of Kyler, how consistent can he be, but they have room to improve on defense, and I thought as the season went on, they were legit threatening for a playoff spot. It feels weird to have them where we have them.

1:48:29They're, to me, as good of a breakout candidate. I like them way better than I like Seattle. I think Seattle with the porous offensive line with Sam Darnold under under duress is a disaster waiting to happen. I think this Arizona thing like that's a sustainable on both sides of the ball with the talent. They made the improvements on defense that they need. And I trust Gannon. So I like this Arizona team. Well, we don't have a lot of movies left.

1:48:54Kyle Brandt:I can do one. What do you got? I have I have the Cardinals as marked for death is a kind of a ridiculous Steven Seagal movie in which he fights the quote, Jamaican voodoo posse. Oh, no. And it's kind of like a dumb movie, but really likable. Like the Cardinals, very likable. And the comeback for Kyler, to your point, House, to have an ascension to stardom again this year, would be like Screwface's comeback after he gets his head cut off with the katana and he comes back to life to fight Hatcher. So I like Mark for Death. It's not like one of the most famous Seagal movies, kind of like the Cardinals small media market, but talented.

1:49:30Kyle Brandt:And there's still an arm-breaking bill over the shoulder, and it gives you what you want. Well, of course there is.

1:49:34Bill Simmons:It's a Seagal movie. It's the only one out of the... We haven't done that in Under Siege 2 out of the Seagal catalog. Those are the two. Unless we... Probably in season 15 of the rewatchables when we talk ourselves into executive decision. Yeah, and on deadly ground. On deadly ground, we might actually have to do. I like Mark for Death for them. That's good. I actually had Mark for Death for the next team. Oh, no. Kyle's up.

1:50:02Kyle Brandt:All right. All right. shit. We're really deep now. I only have a few teams left. Are we on 16? Is this the last team?

1:50:10Bill Simmons:I think we have two teams left, and I can't believe one of the teams hasn't been picked yet. We only have the Rams and New Orleans left. I'll just put my cards on the table.

1:50:17Kyle Brandt:I have the Saints at 16. So who's left?

1:50:20Bill Simmons:The Rams. The Rams are 15. You have to pick the Rams. Oh, Jesus Christ.

1:50:23Kyle Brandt:How did that happen? Yeah. All right. Well, listen. I believe in the Rams way more than this. Here's my take, and this is nuclear. I said you believe in the coaches. I think Sean McVay is the best coach in the NFL. House, if they said that Matthew Stafford was out for the season, I would still think the Rams are fighting for a wild card with Garoppolo. That's my take. Wow. I believe in McVay that much in their defense, in their run game. I just think he's the best coach in the league. I do. I don't have their dad at 15.

1:50:51Bill Simmons:So how did they fall to 15 on our list? I don't know. It's just that uncertainty. I think I kept picking teams because I like the movie better. So who's your movie for this one?

1:51:01Kyle Brandt:I don't know. What's left? We have only a couple of movies left, right? I already used Gymkata. I used, what's left? Anybody? Well, Above the Law is left. Under Siege 2 is left. They're down here because you dummies put the Panthers and the Giants all the way up. I did that. I did that.

1:51:17Bill Simmons:That's it. It looks like we only have Under Siege 2 and Above the Law left.

1:51:22Kyle Brandt:Well, I had Above the Law for the Browns because many of their players think they are. But I went, let's go Dark Territory, Under Siege 2. bill for the, for something, you know why? Cause I've never seen that movie before and I've never seen the Sean McVeigh, Jimmy Garoppolo Rams or the injured back Matthew Stafford Rams. But I still kind of believe in it. Okay. So what movie did you do? Under Siege 2. Under Siege 2.

1:51:47Bill Simmons:Okay.

1:51:48Kyle Brandt:I've never seen it.

1:51:50Bill Simmons:You've never seen Under Siege 2?

1:51:52Kyle Brandt:I refuse to watch it. It's like I don't watch the Hangover sequels. I don't want to watch that. I like the original only. My relationship is strong. It's on a train. People say it's not very good. I'm out. Who said it's not very good? Many. That movie is like, Under Siege 2 is not well liked. That's not, that's, you partner with Under Siege 2?

1:52:10Bill Simmons:In this house, it's liked.

1:52:12Kyle Brandt:I have never seen it. Sell me on it.

1:52:16Bill Simmons:It's Under Siege 2. I mean, for 15 years, it was on all the time and Under Siege 1 was never on. So Under Siege 2 was like, all right, there's not the beer I wanted left in the fridge, but there's that beer left. I'll drink that. That was under siege too, like forever. Because under siege, I don't know. It's like Tommy Lee Jones made it disappear from cable for...

1:52:38Kyle Brandt:It's like, I've never seen U.S. Marshalls, the fugitive sequel. I don't want to watch it. I don't care. I like the original.

1:52:43Bill Simmons:That I can defend you on.

1:52:44Kyle Brandt:Yeah.

1:52:46Bill Simmons:All right. New Orleans. Here we go. That's our last team. Do you think this is the worst team in the league?

1:52:53Kyle Brandt:It's just, what is the plan here? Like, they don't have a quarterback, right? So every other one, everybody else kind of does. So their defense is good. Like they have really good defensive players, but I just, I knew head coach, no quarterback. What are we doing? People think they're going for Arch Manning. Horrible organization,

1:53:10Bill Simmons:poorly run. I don't think there's any scenario where they're not the worst team in the NFC. I'd be shocked. I have adjusted alt unders on them already. House on FanDuel can bet them to win three wins or less, two wins or less. And I'm not giving them a good action movie. So we're going to have to go to one of the worst action movies. What do you got? Ever. It's Stone Cold with Brian Bosworth. Yeah!

1:53:38Did the Boz ever play for the Saints? That would have taken it to another level. Probably.

1:53:43Bill Simmons:Well, there was this era where they just, like Stallone and Schwarzenegger and Van Damme, all these guys got old, Seagal. And we were just like, we need some new action. Maybe it'll be Brian Bosworth. And it's like, you know what? It's not going to be Brian Bosworth, actually. it will definitely 100 % not be Brian Bosworth it's a really bad movie I can't defend it I wouldn't watch it if it was on right now and I think New Orleans is going to be bad

1:54:05Kyle Brandt:our guy William Forsythe aka Richie from Out for Justice in Stone Cold in which Brian Bosworth goes undercover with a biker gang it's awful not even fun awful just awful. How has she ever seen Stone Cold? I don't think that I have

1:54:19Bill Simmons:I think ironically I've only seen it once

1:54:23Kyle Brandt:Yeah, I've watched it.

1:54:24Bill Simmons:I think, ironically, it's in New Orleans. Is it possible? I don't remember. Maybe not.

1:54:31Kyle Brandt:I don't believe it once. But that'd be great. It's bad.

1:54:33Bill Simmons:What's funny is Stone Cold Steve Austin then came in and took Stone Cold and turned, and that became, and so it even made it go away even faster and more violently.

1:54:42Kyle Brandt:At the same time, Vanilla Ice was in a movie called Cold as Ice, which is also like, what are we doing with all the cold? It's very strange. And none of them were good.

1:54:50Bill Simmons:Yeah, so that was 1991. that came out. Stone Cold. A street smart cop goes undercover to infiltrate and bring to justice a ruthless motorcycle gang before they can carry out their plans of tyranny and murder.

1:55:05Kyle Brandt:Do we have some Lance Hendrickson in there too, Bill? I think he might show up. He's in everything back then. Yeah, we did. I thought so. Our lead lady

1:55:12Bill Simmons:was Arabella Holzbog. That was it for her.

1:55:16Kyle Brandt:That's her character or the actor? That was the actress. She played Nancy. Oh, good.

1:55:22Bill Simmons:all right that's it so our big fuck up here is the rams are not going to be the 15th best team i don't know how we ended up but i also think that speaks to how good the nfc is compared to the afc like we got to the afc there's seven teams left and you don't like any of them you get to the nfc it's like all right carolina maybe the giants like you could really do some talking so there you go kyle did you have a good time i had the best time i'm trying to think of the

1:55:48Kyle Brandt:one that was the most satisfying. I like the Cowboys as last action hero. And I like the Ravens as action Jackson guys. This was, I could have done this for three more hours. I love it. Let's do MLB and NBA teams too.

1:56:00Bill Simmons:I think my highlight was when I took Rocky four, even though it had already been taken with the first pick of the draft, but I took it anyway. I just didn't care. Guess what? Uh, Calbrae, great to see you. We could see a good morning football and all over the place and definitely on the rewatchables too. We're already talking about the next one. Thanks for coming on, buddy. My pleasure. Great times, KB. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to insult any of your ex-colleagues. I'll save that for the next pod. Who would it be? We'll do a draft. I know who the number one selection is. I don't. Sorry, Shranks.

1:56:31Sorry, Pete. Bye, Convrent. Bye, guys. See ya.

1:56:36Bill Simmons:Oh, that was awesome. So fun, Bill. Thank you, guys. Thanks for sticking around so long. Of course. This was a great time, dude.

1:56:41Kyle Brandt:Good times. See ya, KB.

1:56:44Bill Simmons:All right, so that was it for the big movie. I'll give it a B+. I had a good time. Hard to keep track of while also hosting it and coming up with the teams, but I thought we did a good job. I want to see the rankings. I think the Rams were the big mistake. Somehow, I don't see them falling to 15 in the NFC. Well, the Rams and the Cardinals. I think both of those teams. It's just Carolina and the Giants ascended, but this is what happens in football. The big thing is, so on Thursdays, You're going to be on my Thursday podcast. We're launching Ringer Gambling Show this week. And you're going to be on that on Monday and Wednesday.

1:57:20Bill Simmons:And on Thursday, we're going to launch this gimmick called Ringer 107, where we're going to make 107 football picks for the 22 weeks of the NFL season. 22? Three. 23? Yeah. Super Bowl. So five picks a week. And it's going to be four straight up picks. and then one has to be a teaser or parlay around even odds. I'm going to do two. We're going to agree on two together and then you're going to do the fifth one and we're going to be a team and we're actually going to compete against some other ringer people and Fando's going to put odds of us going head to head and all that. And the goal is like 107 picks total for the season.

1:58:02Bill Simmons:I'm not doing million dollar picks for this season and we're hoping that we can go 60 and 47 would be the dream. Can we get to 60 wins? What's a good record? What's a record that you would be delighted by? 58 and 49? Yeah, I want to get around 54, 55%. That's how you win at football picking. So I feel like we should be able to do that. It feels like we should be able to, but it's hard. I mean, come on. So yeah, so that Thursday night pod, we'll be doing our picks. We'll be using those lines. The lines are going to freeze on Thursday morning for all the shows. and we'll be doing Ringer 107. And that's what we're going to be doing.

1:58:38Bill Simmons:But we'll talk more about that. The next time you're going to be in here is that Thursday. I mean, after Tommy Fleetwood wins a PGA tournament, anything's possible. Man, he did it. Thank God. Thank God for Tommy. He took out the check that he won today is enough for all of the tournaments that he should have won combined. He made all the money back. He did. And then we spent the weekend with Jacko. Amazing. And we watched the Yankees, Red Sox. We watched two of the games. And he started drinking at 1054 in the morning. He wanted to know when we could go to the bar after the first four innings.

1:59:13Bill Simmons:I mean, I'm probably jinked. As we're recording this right now, the Red Sox are playing the Yankees. But we had a good time doing that. We saw Cousin Sal. We saw Rob Stone. We had a fun trip. And then the other thing is we're doing this ringer fantasy football draft. Yes. That we're doing on Monday, which is tomorrow, in person. Yahoo. You have a team. I have a team. We're going head to head. We're doing the whole thing. Fun. So it's football time. It's officially now. It officially feels. This is my last Sunday podcast without the cuz. People can't wait. We'll have it. So thanks for doing the movie draft.

1:59:47Bill Simmons:Thanks for pretending you've seen any of these movies. Thanks to Gahau as well. Thanks to Saruti. Thanks to Eduardo. And I will be back on this podcast, I think Tuesday. but Thursday is going to be the big two-part over-under podcast with me and Sal. I'll be interested to see. You guys swayed me on a couple of teams today. I still haven't landed on my final outcomes, but it'll be interesting to see where we go. Good, I'm eager to hear. Thanks, Sal. My pleasure.

2:00:27Bill Simmons:It must be 21 plus and present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and present in D.C. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-887-897777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelpline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York.