A Crazy 49ers Win, Baltimore’s Alive, Week 18 Stakes, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal

24:07He's like, how can we get the Chargers? We just want to get them in there. Stafford, minus 250 for MVP. Is that changed? It's 250. Yeah. Drake is plus 200. Everybody else is gone. Right. That's it. that's it. So the Rams, the Rams are probably going to be a five or a six seed. I'm not even sure they're going to care about tomorrow night now, which if you have the Rams and parlays tomorrow, it's like, uh-oh. Now, what happened? Yeah, we both do. Son of a bitch. I don't know why Stafford's favorite. I don't really understand that. So you're saying, because I know Patriots fans are all caught up in this, how could a five seed quarterback on a five seed?

24:48Yeah, I thought we established like it's the one or the two seed usually presents the MVP. Plus Drake has gotten better the whole season. I mean, I don't really care. I don't have money on it, but I want to, I want to congratulate Josh Allen and the bills for five straight AFCs titles, which the streak ended today, but five straights, a good number. Good job by you. That was one less than Tom Brady's second longest streak of six. There you go. He had 11 and he had six. and then the Bills, who were supposed to own the division like Tom Brady and the Pats did for the next 20 years. I think they are the only team to win a division five years in a row and not make or not win the Super Bowl.

25:31I thought it was not make the Super Bowl. Was it not make? Okay, you're all over it. With all that said, that's the team I don't want to see in any part of the playoffs. I don't want to see Josh Allen. I was talking to my dad about it today and we were just going through all the teams and we were like, yeah, yeah. And then it gets to the Bills. I don't want to see them. I don't want to go against Josh Allen for three hours, even though, you know, whatever happened today happened. That's still the guy. Are you insulted, though, that they have the same odds as the Patriots to win the Super Bowl, 10 to 1?

26:00I think it's fair because the Pats haven't done anything. And we've been down this road with them and the Bears and these teams like this that once it gets to January, I think it flips a little bit. Pats have stayed healthy. today was a don't get hurt game in this Jets game. Drake had a 99.8 QBR, which was the highest since they started recording QBR. The Jets were awful. I mean, it was combo of Drake and the Pats were good, but the Jets were really awful. And then they had, they kind of had a rough in the passer. It was 28.3. Did you see this? Yeah, I did. Yep. And Vrabel got pissed and the Pats went in FU mood and drove down and scored.

26:39And then they called a timeout with 11 seconds left. It felt like the Pats were back. It was 35-3. Yeah, Vrabel calls a timeout. I mean, I guess he figures, what are the Jets going to make me pay for this in the year 2052? What's the downside? But actually, the downside is you could be a likable team now that you're good again, but you're choosing not to. So that's fine. Listen, today might have been the peak of the year for us. Like the chance to maybe get a one seed. We win the AFC East. Josh Allen doesn't win. This might be as good as it gets. but 13-3 is pretty impressive. And then you get the thing that was being forwarded around today about how they beat one team with a winning record.

27:19Yeah, it's true. And I said, that's not true. And then I looked it up. I was like, ah, that is true. Yeah, we've had one win against a team with a winning record. They just demolished some of these teams, though. I looked up. It was 22-3 in first downs. I was like, oh, geez. Why are you even getting off the bus? This is just sickening. And the fact that they have no interceptions still through 17 games, As a quarterback, you're Drake, but you're just foaming at the mouth. You have as free a game as you want. Well, I had the New York football stuff that's in play right now, other than the four December games by 23-plus points, all losses, which Jets made history there.

27:55They were down 35-3 at halftime to a coach that they passed up on hiring two straight years. They could have fired Salah two years ago and hired him. Right. They didn't. last year kind of like tepidly went after him and you know and he was kind of using them as leverage with the pats um and then you have the giants raiders where we have this last 72 hours was hilarious with the injury scratches giants raiders going for the one seed and we you have a bunch of giant fans in your life yeah and it was like oh this is how it's going to play out the giants are going to be dumb enough to win this game convincingly i actually ended up putting them in a parlay because I was like, they're definitely stupid enough to win this.

28:36I finally ended up, today, ended up putting them in a parlay, but they love doing this. The Raiders now have an 80 % chance of the first pick. Max Crosby's playing basketball and jumping on a trampoline and videos. And what a mess. Just a mess all the way around, Sal. Well, you know how I hate this tanking stuff, right? I feel like December tanking should be reserved for the NBA and the NBA only. But, and I just, I had my fun with it for sure on the pregame show, but the NFL really took a chance by isolating this game. Yeah. Like they really, like it was that. They could have nudged one more early game to late.

29:12They should have sent this to Australia. This should have been played at 3.30 in the morning and nobody should have seen it because, but it's not like anyone's punting on first down or purposely doing whatever. Ashton Gentry played the whole game. I know everyone made a big deal out of the Max Crosby thing. He hit an off balance. three. He didn't look that good making that three-pointer. I think if you film our wives shooting off-balance threes for a half hour, they're going to make one. That's a good point. And I just don't like the... I don't know. I think it's an arrogant stance by the front office of any team that's supposed to be tanking.

29:45Like, oh, we're not good at hiring coaches. We're not good at signing free agents, but get us our draft pick, because that's where we're going to turn it around. It's like, no, you're not. Cut it out. Just play the game. Play it away. I was texting with McShay today and it sounds like if the Oregon QB comes out, if you look at Fandle Mendoza, who's supposed to be the number one pick, he's only minus 180 to be the first pick. Right. Dante Morris. Morris plus 250. I think because they don't know if he's coming out yet or not, but it might be a two-keeper. So it might have worked out for the Giants anyway.

30:16So the Jets are in trouble. Yeah, the Jets are the ones. The Jets are the ones that could be in trouble. But Gino threw his 17th pick today. If you thought they were tanking, you didn't see Gino the rest of the year because because he was on brand. He didn't do anything differently. I didn't see the box score. Did you mean 17th pick today or 17th pick? Today he threw a 17th pick. I think he had 17 picks and 29 drop picks is where it landed. The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. FanDuel, changing the way that you bet live. They call it live bet. Bet live, whatever you want to call it.

30:50They're changing the way you live bet football. It starts with next drive SGPs. Now you can bet what's happening next drive. Could be a touchdown. punt, a field goal, stack your player props, build your bet exactly how you want it, and just tie it to the one drive. Every NFL game day comes with a profit boost you can use on your next drive SGP. Visit Fandor.com slash BS, download the app today, and bet the next drive your way. You must be 21 plus president select states or 18 plus in president DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Optin required bonus issued as nominal drawback profit boost tokens. Restrictions apply, including any token expiration, max wager amount.

31:27See terms at sportsbook.fandler.com. Gamble problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn Ads. The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn Ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, including 130 million decision makers. And that's where it stands apart. from the other ad buys. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority skills, company revenue, so you can stop wasting budget on the wrong audience.

32:04That's why LinkedIn ads generates the highest B2B return and ad spend on all online ad networks. Seriously, all of them. Spend$250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free$250 credit for the next one. Just go to linkedin.com slash Simmons Bill. Terms and conditions apply. Jags Colts. two more red zone turnovers for the Jags in this game. Yeah. Old man Phil Rivers going for his first run. All these shots of his family celebrating in the luxury box. They take an early lead, and it's like, here we go, same old Jags. I know where this is going. And they won. They pulled it off. They staved off old man Phil.

32:51They finally got him to throw a pick. He was having the old guy luck. They were dropping picks and stuff, and then finally they got a turnover off him. But did it change how you felt about the Jags at all? Yeah, it did. I felt the same way about Lawrence as I did with Purdy throwing that early interception. Like, we've seen them not bounce back. Like, you felt like it wasn't going to sink them. Yeah, exactly. Well, I was surprised when it didn't. I was like, wow, we've seen this, just put them behind the eight ball, and then, like, they just couldn't come back from it. But, like, we have a thing where we text the quarterback's name and then an exclamation point after any interception.

33:23There's like 70 of those throughout the day. But when that happened, I was like, I'm live betting. I'm live betting Jacksonville here. They're just moving the ball too well. Otherwise, they're doing good. Rivers, I know he owes us one. And also, you can't ask for a lot more than him, right? Like, I think over three games, he has four touchdowns, three interceptions, like about 550 yards. That's what you're going to get out of a guy you signed. And it was good last Monday. And it was good. And it was moving the ball. He wasn't the reason they lost to San Francisco. He didn't really cost them. So Riley Leonard cost them one pass and an interception.

33:56No, then the Hail Mary. But no, that's a game the Jags have lost a hundred times in four years. I felt the same way. It was the first time I've watched the Jags where they had adversity early and a couple of dumb things happened. And I didn't feel like, oh, cross them off. I also did not put them in anything today other than a 13-point tease that I sent you guys in the pregame show. But I didn't trust them at all. I didn't know what they were capable of. You know, on the one hand, they kind of went for it this year in a bunch of different ways. Like, they have a lot of first-round picks. They had a lot of high picks over the last couple years.

34:33They traded for Jacoby Myers during the season. They went all in on that Travis Hunter trade and traded all these future assets. So it was a little like Atlanta where they were really trying to be good in 2025. On the other hand, a lot of it worked. You know, like when you look, Like Myers is over and over again, third and nine, third and seven. It just seems like that's become the guy. They got ETN going again. And I think they're a mildly frisky playoff team. They're probably going to be, it's a chance they're going to be a home underdog if it's Buffalo, if it's a 3-6, right? I wouldn't be opposed to taking them as a home dog in a playoff game, would you?

35:11Me too. I think like, and I'm pretty brave about this right now, but maybe in a couple of weeks I won't be. but I don't think the Bills have four in a row in them. So I don't know if it's the first one, if it's against Jacksonville or not, but they get stops. They do all the right things. They do all the teams. I just can't believe, is this Indianapolis year the strangest of any other? Like their coach dies. They have Daniel Jones. They're seven and one. Then they're eight and two. And then Jones goes out and they just free fall to the bottom and they sign Phil. They haven't won since, right? Sauce Gardner.

35:45Oh my God. They trade all these assets for Sauce Gardner, so their future is kind of screwed here. And not only, it's the AFC South. Not only don't they make it at eight and two, but two other AFC South teams make it in the playoffs. Like, they're not one of them. What a bizarre-ass year. That first-round pick they gave up for Sauce Gardner, which feels like it was 10 years ago. Oh, yeah. And it's like, oh, yeah, well, they're going to be a one or a two seed, so that pick will be bottom of the first round. Now it's going to be like 16. Right in the middle. So it's a great trade for the Jets. What do they care?

36:14I actually wrote down in my notes, is there an MVP case for Daniel Jones, even though he only played half the year? Interesting. Like, gets hurt. They never win again. Maybe he was the MVP. That should be an NFL honors. The award for, I didn't realize how important you were until something bad happened or whatever that's called. It's so funny because I had in my notes, that's why I would pick Ben Johnson for coach of the year. Because he gets the double FU. We saw with Detroit, can't get a first down for some reason. And all what he's doing with the Bears, the worst to first deal. Jags, Colts.

36:52Unbelievable turn of events for the Colts and the Bucs. And I was trying to think like, is this unusual or what? And it's just the season's so fucking long. We talked about this last week. The season's just too long. It takes forever. Guys get injured. These big injuries, you've a cluster of injuries. You've just, your season flips. Dolphins-Bucks, where, I don't know if you saw this, but the Tampa players, they had a press conference about an hour ago. They announced they've run out of ways to quit on Ted Bowles. Oh, wow. Yeah, they said, we've tried everything. We've lost seven of eight. We've tried to lose games at the end.

37:30We've tried to get killed during games. We've tried to seem unprepared. We've tried to have games where we have 12 penalties. We don't know what else to do other than not show up for the next game. We've exhausted our options. Not only are they trying, the other teams are trying too. We're going to give you Quinn Ewers on a platter. We're going to give you the 17-point lead, everything else. But I don't get it at all. And I have this team to win a division. I stupidly took them. You might still win it. Make it, I guess. I just, them and the Lions. I look up and I see that they'll have 10 points in the fourth quarter.

38:00I'm like, how does this happen? How did these, who was calling these plays here? This is outrageous. And I don't want to hear about Tristan Wirfs. I get it. But, you know, I watched every single play. He had time to throw the ball, right? He had time to throw the ball downfield. He actually had that one scramble where he really should have been, like, he should have been flattened in the pocket. And he rolled left and he got a first down. And then he followed it with, like, the worst interception you'll see if you live to be 150 years old. I don't get it with him. He has eight picks in the last seven games.

38:31I was thinking that, well, two things, two awards for him. I think he took the season lead for hospital balls today. I think his receivers are now terrified when they're over the middle because his balls, you have no idea where they're going. But the Baker Mayfield Award for the guy who looked like an MVP for five weeks and then completely died by the end of the year. You wondered if he was going to be on the team next year, which I think started with Russell Wilson that one year when remember Russell Wilson had that awesome September where like he's never won the MVP. How crazy is that? Is this going to be the end?

39:02But by the end of the year, it was like he might be out of the right of Seattle. But Baker became that guy this year. It's just the gamut of emotions. When the Browns are like, yeah, man, we did the right thing. Okay, that's what we might have done the right thing with Baker. They might have felt that way until Sanders threw that pick. He threw the lob, hail, mary interception. Then they're like, ah, maybe we did the right thing. I think he has a different form of a hospital ball. He throws it to the sideline. He'll overthrow Mike Evans by the sideline, but Evans has to die for it out of bounds.

39:31He could get hurt. He'll run into eight guys with jackets on and stuff. Sometimes it's his own guys, but he gets up. That's not a hospital ball. It's like a collision ball. Yeah, right, right, right. Who's the guy? What's that Allstate, the guy from Oz who's always banged up on Allstate? Ryan O 'Reilly? Mayhem, right? Yeah, whatever. But he was Ryan O 'Reilly and Oz. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, he throws the Allstate balls. It's like collision insurance. He gets the Allstate award? It's like nobody's safe. Cameraman, assistant coaches. He should do a commercial for sure. so this is my favorite stat I did a lot of research during the late games because there are only two games to watch and one of them was a complete abomination so during the commercials Bowles, Todd Bowles this might be his second division title where the team went 8-9 that's like Hall of Fame candidacy material nobody is ever doing that again like how many losing record division champs have we ever had he's going to do it twice Mike Tomlin's like, get off my back.

40:36You see what's going on in Tampa? Shit. He's like, at least I go 9-8. I was thinking they could win the title, go 8-9, but they'd already planned on firing him after week 18. They might just do it anyway. Right. Just bring in whoever. Bring in Bruce Arians to coach it. One last thing on that game. First of all, I don't feel like that's an easy Pat's Dolphins game next week. Even though we haven't guessed the line yet, I don't know what it is. but I think the Dolphins have been reasonably frisky 80 % of the time for two months here. I mean, they had just came off two weeks off of that Pittsburgh game was an abomination on Monday.

41:14Right. They played last week, Cincinnati, who was left for dead. And then they, I don't know. I, but they know they look pretty well. I mean, I know they look fine today. Well, Tampa's still alive because the Panthers couldn't beat the Seahawks. And, uh, I was texting with Danny Kelly and Mina Kimes about this, two Seahawks fans, asking them if the Seahawks have finally beaten out any confidence they had in January. Is there a small piece left? And I think it's gone. I don't think you can watch this team for three hours a week and think they're going to win a couple straight playoff games and make the Super Bowl.

41:52After today, you thought? When they beat Carolina? No, but just when you watch them for three hours, it's like, this is all cute. Right. there's just no way they're actually going to make the Super Bowl with this team. Darnold has 20 turnovers, which leads the NFL. Seattle has 28 turnovers, which is the second highest. And here's another stat for you. They've only gone for it on 13 % of the first downs this year, which is the worst in the NFL. So the coach doesn't trust the offense. The offense still turns the ball over all the time. It just feels like it's ready for a January playoff tsunami for themselves.

42:27So you trust them least out of the three NFC West teams? I think out of all the good teams, I trust them the least. I just don't trust our offense. Their offense hasn't been good for two months. I don't see how it's going to change. Just take out JSN as much as you can. What else are they going to do? I guess. Like screen pass to Kenneth Walker? What else is left? And sometimes that works like all game, all three hours. And sometimes you don't see it at all. But I don't know what to do with this. Like, I feel like I have to step aside. Sam Darnold has 26 wins in two years. 26 wins. Well, their defense won the game today.

42:59Bryce Young had 54 yards passing total, which is the same number as Times Panthers fans have switched their opinion on him. I think they're now glass half empty on Bryce. But like a week ago, it's like, we might have a guy. It's almost like it needs to end. What would you do if you're a Panthers fan? Would you want him back next year? He threw 24 times. You could have 54 passing yards on like six or seven attempts, but not on 24. Yeah, what was that? You mailed me that stat. Who was the guy? The last guy who did it? David Woodley. David Woodley in 1980? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, David Woodley. I'm sorry.

43:35We don't bring you up that much, but that's... Sadly, I'm old enough to remember David Woodley and he was not good. Hey, if I can get Malik Willis, I would do that over Bryce Young, I think. I mean, he's going to get paid now, Malik Willis, isn't he? Would you take Mac Jones over Bryce Young? I don't know. Because I think I would. I don't know. it's close. I just don't think this team should be anywhere near where they are anyway. We just can't escape the crumminess of the NFC South. And the funniest thing is the best QB in the conference now, or the division now is Shuck. No doubt. It's not even close, is it?

44:12I mean, he was 22 for, he gets the Titans, but he was 22 for 27 for 333 and two TDs. Name anyone he played with today. Who was on his team? It was unbelievable. If you actually look, Alave has like nine touchdowns. That surprised me. I looked at his numbers and everything. Yeah, Alave has been his one guy, but he had Vele, who I had on my fantasy team for a week. He's out for the year, but they lost Kamara. They've lost all these guys. Shuck is now plus 120 for Offensive Rookie of the Year on Finder. I saw that. Why is he behind Tett McMillan? I know you shouldn't get too excited about a win over the Titans, but this guy's solid, and he's not going to really lose your games like this.

44:54And like you said, I know I'm being facetious. I think he's better than solid. I honestly think he's better than solid. I think he's legitimately pretty good. Well, he has more 300-yard passing games than Drake maybe. So maybe. And he's tough. We talked about him last week. I was texting with McShay about it because McShay was all in on him from the senior bowl. What a name dropper you are. McShay and Nina, Danny Kelly. I have more. I have more coming. Woodley. But McShay, McShay was, was wondering like these older QBs, maybe this is like an inefficiency now in the NFL. These guys who have just lived some life instead of just bringing these, maybe think of like that Oregon QB who's going to be like 21 next year.

45:38Like maybe, maybe that's not a good idea to bring in like the baby. No, I know. I mean, it's like this old guy has bounced around. We've seen both, right? We saw like Bo Nix. It's great. A million starts and a lot of these guys are going to have like 60 starts. Purdy. So we've seen it go both ways. But I might rather have an older one except that when you sign him to that contract, then you have a big decision to make when he's like 29 years old. First time. Right. So the Seahawks win next week. They're playing the Rams. I'm sorry. They're playing the 49ers. Which number one seed would you feel worst about Denver or Seattle?

46:19If I'm the opposing team? Just you in general, from a gambling standpoint, from a football fan standpoint. Oh, backing them. Yeah. Just everything. Like, which one makes you queasier out of those two? See, you're going to say Seattle, but I think Denver. I would say Denver. Yeah. Because at least Seattle's defense, we've seen them really turn it up, whereas Denver's defense, I'm not even sure where we totally are with it at this point. Denver, they beat the Jets by two. They beat the Giants by one. They beat Davis Mills by three. They beat the Raiders by three. And then they beat them by seven.

46:50That was, you know, that was a weird one. The Casey game was alarming. Like, Casey almost beat them. Chris Oladokun by seven. The fuck was that? Kelsey's, like, wide open. He's the only receiver they had. Yeah. Yeah. Like, we've seen them open up their offense and play great. But that's half their schedule, I just read to you. Well, I was thinking, I was looking back at the 2008 season. because I was trying to think of the last crazy, I've mentioned this before, but the last really, truly crazy season. And that was the year when Pittsburgh played Arizona in the Super Bowl. But I was looking at the first round where, so things that happened that year, Arizona was a nine and seven champion that then made the Super Bowl and just kept upsetting people.

47:34The Chargers were an eight and eight division champ. They, of course, won in round one. But if you look back at round one, I think all of them were upsets. the Chargers beat the Colts, the Eagles beat the Vikings, the Ravens beat the Dolphins. Each one, it felt like, I think the underdog maybe won outright three of the four and it just kind of kept going and was just one of those stupid years and then ended up with a Pittsburgh, Arizona, which I think was the birth of the Gary Russell prop. Oh, beautiful. What a beautiful day. But looking at that first round, made me wonder if that's what we're headed for this year with even more games, where we're going to have six games round one or we just got like five upsets.

48:13I just, and I texted you like, and I texted Bill Simmons, I'll drop a name, like an hour ago. I was like, man, this is, we are going to have, it's going to be impossible to make money in the playoffs because who do you trust? I think your overall point is Denver and Seattle. You're not getting that trust factor because you're not getting that go-to quarterback, the one that's been there for so many years. But I guess we're just going to deal with it. Yeah, who couldn't we put as the anchor of a tease or parlay who's like a minus 250, minus 300, seven-point favorite, seven-half-point favorite. I don't have the team.

48:48I don't trust the Niners from what we saw today. Their defense can't stop anybody. They're going to have to outscore somebody, which is what they did today for two hours, but then they finally had to punt and it felt like they were going to lose the game, not to mention if you have one turnover. A couple more games quickly. Brown Steelers, which we thought the league, this was the one you rig? If you're going to rig a game, not that the league's fixed, but if it was, this would be the game you fix where the Browns win. Now, there's no DK Metcalf. That was the case for Browns Moneyline. Who had that on the pregame show?

49:21Somebody must have Browns Moneyline, right? A few of us had plus three and a half or plus three. I thought Browns without Metcalf. Rodgers was helpless. 39 attempts for 168. It looked like the classic bullshit Steelers game that they're going to somehow win. and they didn't win. They lost. I mean, deep exhale from Roger Goodell as Rogers sailed that fourth down pass out of the end zone. Oh, yeah. He got his Sunday night matchup for 18. But yeah, man, I don't want to... I'll give Miles Garrett credit. It seemed right. Yeah, they were just too worried about stopping me. They weren't worried about winning the game.

50:01They really didn't plan. They were moving him around, and he was a pain, and Rogers didn't throw downfield until late in the game when they played prevent, which is driving us crazy. You got like two or three first downs in a row, but it is the same old Pittsburgh team. Like they're either going to go nine and eight or they're going to be a first round casualty. So that'll be that. I wonder like in classic Pittsburgh fashion, will Metcalf somehow get exonerated because there was a story today about how when he played for Seattle, the same fan messed with him. Will they review it and be like, no, actually we can't spend you suspend you for week 18.

50:35And then all of a sudden he's back there playing Baltimore. where Sanders had a couple good throws, had one of the worst picks I've ever seen in my life. They did not score 14 points. There was a stat that they lead the league in the 2020s. They have six wins where they didn't score 14 points. So congrats to the Braves fans. You guys did it. The Steelers looked awful, though. And I've learned not to bet honor against them in these games. They're just a complete stay away now, right? What are we going to do next Sunday, though? I guess we're going to have to bet on that. Yeah, you know, when Deion is hiding behind his cowboy hat, things are bad.

51:15You can't spin it anymore. That was tough. Saturday football, we had the Derrick Henry fuck you game. 216 and four TDs. We had a ridiculous Texans win over the Chargers that I still can't believe I lost. Kicker Dicker, Mr. P.A.T. in a field goal. Gazdon dropped what's just sent an interception up in the air. Herbert was amazing. The Texans had two long passes and then did nothing else the entire game. They've somehow won eight straight. I don't know what to make of them. It was a weird day of football. Which game did you take more out of? I mean, that Ravens-Packers game, I would have thought under.

51:54I would have thought there wasn't going to be that much offense, at least from Baltimore. And I don't know. I look at it. And I'm like, Harbaugh kind of blew it for this team. If they don't come away with a win Sunday night against the Steelers, like so many times he had a healthy Derrick Henry available to close out a game and just forgot about him. What are you at? Two 16 and four touchdowns. He has almost 1500 yards and 16 touchdowns. And what do you have? Like 18 carries against you guys and 10 against Cincinnati. I didn't play against us in the last seven minutes. Why? Like, does he just forget?

52:26Like set an alarm. The game starts at one. Set your alarm for three 15. And then your iPhone goes, it has all kinds of like audio sounds like a radio and canopy and chirp and story. Just get the alarm you want and put him in. Like it's insane to me. Hire a Derrick Henry advisor. Yeah. That was very weird. I tell you what, I don't mind Huntley in the playoffs if it comes to this. I don't, somebody will make this a story Tuesday, Wednesday. Would you rather have a healthy Huntley or a band up Lamar? I'm not saying that, but I don't mind him. I don't think he's not awful. We'll see what we're saying.

53:01Would you rather have a healthy Huntley or a banged up Lamar? Oh, shit. I don't know you're going to ask me that. Like, if Lamar can't really move around like he normally does, and he's hampered, and he just doesn't seem right, it's at least a discussion. I know they'll go with Lamar because he's been in the big games, but I love the Ravens on Saturday night. If he can't move like Huntley did yesterday, and the other team knows about that, then, yeah, it's Huntley. I love the Ravens on Saturday night, had multiple real life bets on them. And somehow in Ringer 107, lost our Ravens bet because we moved it to four and a half, did the under of like 55.

53:40And of course, what were the odds that game was going to have over 50 points, much less 60? It's a 65 point game. Willis and Huntley, always a corner burner. Willis is, that's worth a gamble, I think, in the off season. That could be the Reclamation guy this year, right? Yeah. We were talking about on the pregame show, and Matt Flynn got his bag, as you'll say. That's the worst version of this. But at least there were 25 good quarterbacks back then. Right. Yeah, it was a stretch, but they were good quarterbacks. Malik Willis is a no-brainer at this point. He could start for probably six teams.

54:20Mitchell and Matt Flynn, those were the two famous ones. Mitchell, right. Scott Mitchell was a classic. and then the Christmas was awful. Did you have fun at least with the Cowboys-Washington? Oh, that's great. That's it, man. I keep, you know, we did our Netflix thing, and then we watched Josh Johnson. Looked like a playoff quarterback, but yeah, that was fine. Cowboys win. Rosmer versus Goff was amazing, especially if you had the Vikings, and then Broncos-KC was abysmal. I have my parent corner is going to be about that, actually. I have one last thing for you. I was going to say the Detroit thing.

54:58Let's just put another nail on Dan Campbell's cough. And like, I think since he announced he's calling the plays, that offense has been a complete curiosity. Like he's, I think that's the worst plot proclamation of 2025. Him saying, Hey, look at me. I'm calling the plays. It just all went. Yeah, I've got this. Like if I had a list. Dad's driving now. Give me the steering wheel. I've got it. Kids get out of the way. I think I wrote down top four worst proclamations of 2025. It's Dan Campbell announcing that he's calling the plays. It's Pam Bondi saying the files are on my desk. It's me announcing my nickname for the Pats QB.

55:38Or it's you. Drake maybe? Drake maybe, yeah. Follows me everywhere. Or you announcing your addiction to hot water with lemon. So I think we should put that to a poll. Those four. You have it? Look at you. I got a new thing, actually. What is it? Let's hear it. Well, I did something you're not going to like. What is this? But we have to tell you. Is this in the top four? Is this a new entry in the top four? You're not going to be happy at all. Christmas was my last day eating bread and dessert. Oh, fuck that. And really any sugar. Oh, stop it. I'm done. I'm done. And guess what? I feel great. I think I've been really good on the podcast so far.

56:15You can feel the difference. Would someone give you a skirt for Christmas? Like what? No sugar in the morning on my coffee. just coffee and half and half no dessert i'm just done i'm done i realized sugar was just like bad for me as we get older and i'm just gonna try life without sugar for a while all right so of course you're right but don't do it so the only thing i've allowed myself is hot water with a little honey in it just a little so i can taste it and that's it that's what's keeping me alive right now because i can't have dessert pizza no pasta anymore i'm giving up a lot of stuff but you saw me do this in the 2010s.

56:49You saw me do this for like four years. I was pretty committed. You're always the same way. Yeah, Bianco's out. Chris Bianco's gone. He's out of my life. That's terrible. That's terrible. Out of my life. Turns out I didn't really need him. Congratulations, Dan Campbell. You're bounced from the top four worst proclamations. I figured you'd hate this. I made a list to celebrate the end of 2025 of my list of things during the typical NFL weekend that I've given up figuring out. I have seven things. Driving the QB into the ground on a sack being either a penalty or not a penalty, depending on how the linesman's feeling on this specific play.

57:28I've just given up. Sometimes it's like if you wrap your arms around, but it's for one one-hundredth of a second too long, or you push, you have to tackle him, but you can't tackle him too hard. You have to kind of pull your arms as he's landing. You have to pull your arms back. Yeah. But even then, it might be rough in the past or anyway. I'm just giving up. You know what I say about that? I think that's fat shaming. I think anyone who is bigger than the quarterback, if you weigh four more pounds than the quarterback, you can't drive into them and complete a tackle. Right. I don't like that. Yeah.

58:00I think that's fair. No pizza, no bread. Taunting penalties. Just there's no rhyme or reason in them anymore. I watched, there was one in the Browns game today that was awful. There was other ones where the guy stands over a receiver and then nothing happens. They just, that's arbitrary. when you can take your helmet off on the field has now we've gotten really flimsy with this. Right. You see this a lot now as the guys are walking off, they just take the helmet. This used to be like dating back to Dwayne Rudd. This was like, you can't take your helmet off to get to the sideline. Now it feels like maybe you can take your helmet off.

58:36I don't know what to think anymore. They don't call it. When was the last time you've seen them call that? Yeah, you're right. They haven't called it. They're not consistent. Caleb does it a lot. Caleb does it as like he's not even on the sideline yet and it's off. Good, good. They should have flagged him. Yeah, I know if you get it ripped off, you could basically, you get a free like you could do a chorus line on the field with your helmet off. You can do whatever you want. You can do a podcast. Yeah. Four more. This was really important yesterday in the Chargers-Texans game. And it goes both ways.

59:06These pass interference bump clutches after five yards, like six, seven yards. Right. When the guys are tangled up and then sometimes it's offensive pass interference because the guy pushed off. Other times the guy held too long and it's just game to game. You have no idea how to interpret it. And for some reason it decides games left and right. And they've never decided on an explanation. And whoever the rules analyst is, they take the side of the referee in that case. You can't do that. It's like you're getting scolded by the principal. Don't do it. You can't push off and break away. And then offensive pass interference is the other one where we've seen, especially near the sideline now, they're calling the little shove-offs when the guy's going for it, but they're not calling the opposite.

59:55When the guy's getting shoved, then it feels like they bent it against the receiver. Second to last one, tackles, the left and right tackles being able to jump backwards for the snap. We just don't call that anymore. I don't know why. I don't know. So it's a false start every time. You're allowed to do false starts. And then last but not least, obviously, is continuation catches on TDs. Which one was that this week? It wasn't this week, but just it'll happen five times a year, and we've never landed on what's fair or not fair. Oh, yeah. You have to do the Lambeau leap and still have it in your possession for it to count.

1:00:32Yeah, it's stupid. You can run four steps of that, flip it to the cheerleader. It's like, no, flipped it too soon. Didn't count. Not a catch. I don't know. Any more? Is there any other ones you can't figure out? I just like my thing always is trying to draw the guy offside. This is not a rules thing, but trying to draw the team offsides from the shotgun in a loud venue. Like you're never going to do it. No one. I appreciate when you try to draw a team offsides and then punt it, but don't do it from the shotgun. I don't understand. Don't you want if I'm screaming at you from six inches away, you're going to be more startled than if I'm seven.

1:01:07yards away, right? And everybody else is drowning me out. So that's my big pet peeve. The new one people are trying is in the shotgun. They do this really fast, hoping somebody's going to jump. But it's everyone knows that trick now. I can see that. I just don't... If I hear something, I might jump, right? But if I see that... And we also laugh at the guys trying to down the punts now. Like nine times out of ten, everyone should just run off the field if you're trying to down a punt inside the five. because you're ultimately going to kick it into the end zone. We always text about that with our friend Hench because it's his favorite play in sports when the punt's about to land at the one and the punt defender guy steps on the goal line or fucks it up or goes to throw it back and ends up throwing it forward.

1:01:54The one today was epic, though, because the guy saved it on the Eagles. Was it the Eagles? It was the Eagles. The next guy comes in to make sure the ball doesn't go to the goal line but steps on the goal line. If I was the putter, I'd be so mad. But this is where we need Hench as a special teams coordinator. Just be like, there's Eagles special teams coordinator, Kevin Hench. And he's just like, ah! Ah! Why? He's left the building. The Zamboni machine ran him over. He just stabbed the traitor. Yeah, any time you, me, or Hench can make a better play on something like that, it's not good. the one I almost added but I do think the refs have a handle on it but it always takes them an extra 15 seconds that I have no idea why is intentional grounding when the guy when the QB throws it away and it's clearly intentional grounding but they don't call it and then 15 seconds pass and the refs kind of look at each other and then they huddle up and they're like yeah that probably was intentional grounding and then they throw it I don't know why we need 15 seconds to wait on that Hopefully, in the next couple of years, replay assist will be broadened.

1:03:04Just immediately. Let that take care of a lot of these things so we don't have to worry about it. Playoff matchups right now would be Denver with the one seed, Pats-Buffalo, but as we discussed... that's not, it's going to end up either Pats, Chargers or Pats with the one seed. Jacksonville Chargers, which we've already seen, which might end up morphing into Jacksonville, Buffalo. Right. Pittsburgh, Houston. So let's say, let's be smart and we'll say Denver, Chargers, Pats, Buffalo, Jags, Pittsburgh, Houston. And then in the... Pittsburgh or Baltimore. Yeah, Pittsburgh or Baltimore against Houston.

1:03:46Then Seattle in the NFC, Bears, Packers, Eagles-Rams, Panthers-Niners. So I just gave you six matchups. Panthers-Shakies game to lose right now? Like minus 200? What is it? Yeah, I think so. That's pretty good. So you think they'd put the Niners in the Shakeies game early start Saturday? You don't think they'll go AFC South for one of these? Like, could Jags-Chargers make it? Could be Jags-Chargers. I think that's the other final. Could be one of those. If it's Jags, Buffalo, they're not putting Josh in the first playoff game. Right, right. Because that's like, he's the most famous QB left at this point.

1:04:27If we're getting Rams, Eagles in that first round, I mean, if we get Rams, Eagles, I know you don't want to think about it, and Pat's Bills, that's a solid. I go back to my football game. Pat's Bills would be incredible. Yeah. There's no question that would be a who has the ball with two minutes left. Just prepared mostly. The Bills could be missing. The Bills had fucking Brandon Cooks today. made four big catches for them. I don't even think he was on an NFL roster five weeks ago. I said to my son, like, did you know he was on the Bills? Because he's their best receiver right now. That's it. Right.

1:04:58He was the only guy who could get open deep. And Brady was like, oh, Cookie. Yeah. If you played with him, you like. I was like, you played with him a year. Settle down. Guess the lines. Week 18. What's our score? Nine to eight? I mean, you're going to win because I don't even think this week should count. These lines move around so much throughout the week. Coaches lie about who's playing. Why are you already quitting? Well, because I was off 40 points over 12 games or whatever, probably. First game, Saturday. NFC South on the line. Tampa home for the Panthers. I mailed you two games because we knew what we were getting, two games.

1:05:36So, you know, I actually had these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's in Tampa. I don't like either of these teams. I'm going to be hard-pressed to wager on this game. I think it might have to be a 13-point tease, and that's it for me. Really? Which way? Who are you at? I don't know. I just like that step. Or maybe put both of them in it. Bucks minus three was my guess. You got it exactly. I said three and a half. I thought it was a little too much for Carolina to handle, but it is three. Little caveat here. Doesn't necessarily get Tampa the division with a win. If Atlanta wins. This is the craziest stat of all time.

1:06:14Really nuts. Atlanta, who's been eliminated six weeks ago. I don't know. But if they were to beat the Rams and then beat the Saints next week, wouldn't matter if Carolina won or lost. They'd be the champs. So Carolina gets the South. If Atlanta beats the Rams, who might not have anything to play for anymore and might just say, fuck it with tomorrow's game, and then beats Tyler Shook and the Saints. He rested his guys last year, McVay. did that line move no I wrote down my guess we'll get there you're talking about tomorrow's line did that line move still 7.5 the funniest thing about tomorrow so you have that weird Rams thing where now it's suddenly the NFC South is tied to it but then you also have Kyle Pitts potentially swinging fantasy titles tomorrow night.

1:07:13This guy who everybody's had, everybody's gone a couple rounds with and waved or hated it or hated the experience. Whoever landed him around week 12 just hit the lottery, basically. He'll probably have 40 points tomorrow. Yeah. I think this is... I have a bigger thing about fantasy later in parent corner, but I feel like this week should not be utilized. I mean, imagine having Puka in your lineup and McVay says, hey, we're sitting everybody. That just sucks. Week 16 is when I think fantasy should end from now on. Gahau said the chat voted for hot water and lemon as the worst proclamation of the year.

1:07:53Oh, really? Yeah. That's good. Pam Bondi's off the hook. All right. Damn it. I can't believe she could have beat me.

1:08:08Bucks-Panthers I feel like should FanDuel let us do some special bets for this? I'm going to ask them. Should we be like, will this game have a pick six? Oh, I see. What were the odds on that? Plus 200? A pick six? Plus 300? What would be the odds for a pick six in a game that's clearly going to have a pick six? Oh, I see. Normal pick six odds are like 50 to 1 or 10 to 1, whatever. This is like almost a lock. Somebody's throwing a pick six. Right. Yeah, for sure. some kind of... Over under combined interceptions? Two and a half? That's good. I think so. Attempted down punts where the guy steps in the end zone.

1:08:50Seven and a half, I would say. There's stuff you wouldn't be able to bet on. Like, number of times the fan base quit on their quarterback during this game. Right. I mean, if Tampa... Think about this. They're minus three at home against Carolina to make the playoffs. Like, if they can't win this, what the fuck? If we talked about this in September, like, here's Tampa's season. They just have to beat Carolina by three. They've had so many bad losses. So many bad. I mean, imagine they lost that Thursday game to Atlanta. They're killing them. Saturday night, NFC West on the line. One seed on the line.

1:09:26These two teams can't believe they're not playing on Sunday night. They don't know what else they needed to do. Niners home against the Seattle Seahawks and I have the Niners favored by two and a half. I feel like that's low. I don't know why I went the other way. I thought it was tic-tac. I was right about that, but I had Seattle as the favorite. It's San Francisco one and a half, so you get it. I went too high. Wow, so they full tic-tac'd it. Yeah, that's a good one, man. It's a good one. I'm going to apply all playoff manifesto lines to this game. And one of the number one rules of the playoff manifesto is please study the quarterbacks long and hard and think about who you'd feel good about having in this game.

1:10:11I would not feel good about having Sam Darnold. Just period. I just wouldn't. How about McDonald on the road? Like, that's good. Like, it's all... How about the team that doesn't ever want to go for it on fourth down in a big game? No, I get it. That sounds terrible. Would they play week one? San Francisco beat them week one, right? 17-13. All of these NFC West games have been close across the board. I like the Niners. I do think it's probably not awesome to have the six-day turnaround for this one. Yeah. Right? Like all of a sudden, they're playing five days from now. They just had a pretty grueling Bears game.

1:10:51McCaffrey looked like he's going to have to fly to Italy or Germany or somewhere to get some stuff. The marquee game, Sunday night. AFC North on the line. Ravens at the Steelers. We assume no Lamar for this? Probably? I can't say anything. I can't say anything. I assume no Lamar. I think the Ravens are favored either way. I think Mike Tomlin is exactly where he wants to be as a home underdog in a must-win playoff game. He must be delighted. I have Ravens two and a half. All right. You're going to get this. I said Ravens by one. I thought that was fair. And it's Ravens by three. You're going to kill me.

1:11:35I mean, these are the ones I'm closing. I like the Ravens. That's what they want you to say. Could I lose one more time on the Steelers this year? They said it couldn't be done. They said I couldn't lose night time on them. If Metcalf doesn't play, I don't know how many people listening are watching all the games. You really had to watch that game, like how fucking helpless they were. Like they just didn't have anybody open. They were trying to run their normal garbage stealer plays with like back shoulder throws and little lob pass on the end zone. Like they're running them with like, you know, their number nine receivers.

1:12:15Sometimes their defense gets mad enough where it just doesn't matter. I mean, think of how surprised we were when they lost the first week in December in Baltimore. more. Could this be a Ravens alt-line, like Ravens by 20? Like, if they win, they're really going to win? Like, it's almost like that Packers game or alt-line 17 or something where they just run all over them. Like, if Harbaugh gives Henry the ball more than 12 times, like, they could actually... Yeah. Yeah, it could be that. I don't know. I'm scared. I'm scared to take the minus three here. I know they're better. I know all this stuff.

1:12:49It's all what you're saying, but there could be one more screw job in there for us. There's no question. All right. Next one. AFC number one seed on the line. There's two games. Broncos home for the Chargers. Really tough one to figure out from a Chargers standpoint what their motivations are. Yeah. The Chargers lose. They fall to a seven seed unless Buffalo also loses. Right. The Chargers win. to get the sixth seed. Do they care? And then the Broncos, do you feel good? Them getting a lot of points over anybody? I didn't know what to do. I did the Broncos minus seven and a half in Denver. You're going to be closer.

1:13:39Now, I said nine and a half. It's six and a half, but I think this will go to nine and a half. I think Harbaugh, like I said, is going to lie, and he's going to say Herbert's not playing, and then he's going to play one series or something. I think it'll go up. The right people will know about it, but I'm very much looking forward to putting that on a Moneyline parlay and losing. I think the Broncos are a must for a Moneyline tease. Yeah. Pencil them in as an anchor. I don't see... If it was the Chargers going from a 7 seed to the 5 seed, maybe, but you have the Texans playing the Colts, who it sounds like Phil Rivers is done.

1:14:19He talked about these three games. I think that's it. I don't think he's playing week 18. So that's Riley Leonard. So odds are Texans win that. So Texans are going to be the five seed, it looks like. So if you're the Chargers, like, yeah, I'd rather play Jacksonville, but would you rather just get the rest? They don't care. Teams rarely care about that, right? Five, six, or seven. Well, the Patriots are home for the Miami Dolphins. And I think this line is going to be higher than it should be. they lock down the two seed if they win they could get the one seed if they win and Denver loses I have the Patriots by 12 and a half whoa I said 8 and a half it's 9 and a half okay that's good so that's the second anchor for your money line parlay it is Quinn Ewers on the road it's gotta be isn't that what we saw today yeah Quinn Ewers on the road Yeah.

1:15:22We saw that today against Tampa Bay. So that could be a... You're not going to blow that. You can't blow that. What did you beat them the first time? 33-27? That was ages ago, though, right? I think we get Milton Williams back for this game. Yeah. And then Will Campbell, not until round one, I don't think. He's just throwing all over the place. I think it'll be similar to... It was Burrow that threw four touchdowns against them last week, right? Against Miami. It's also, odds are, cold weather, Miami and cold weather. Right, right, right. There's some good signs for this. I forgot about that, yeah.

1:15:56The late East Coast start always makes me nervous, but as we discussed. All right, AFC seeding on the line. Three games. Texans-Colts in Houston. Houston gets the three seed with a win if Jacksonville loses. Houston gets a five seed if they win. And odds are it's Riley Leonard. I think the Texans are a classic. Be careful when they're favored by more than X amount of points, and we're probably here. I have Texans by eight and a half. You're going to get it. I said seven and a half. I don't know why. I thought it was Rivers, and I'm not even sure. What do you think? There's a point difference from them.

1:16:37But anyway, it's ten and a half. Oof, that's too high. Is that three? That could be our three right there. They can't really run the ball. they scored on the first two drives yesterday and then for the next two and a half hours did nothing. I don't know. That's a lot of points. See, I'm more, I think it's more likely that a team playing for a draft pick screws up this teaser than a team, like the three teams we just mentioned. The Raiders, after all this, could beat the Chiefs and then that'll be hilarious, right? I don't think Pete Carroll would find it hilarious they probably told him like we'll bring you back next year just make sure you lose the rest of this and then they'll fire him Jaguars home for the Titans

1:17:30Jaguars locked down the three seed with a win I didn't look I think the Pats get the two seed either way win or lose I don't think the Jags flip over them but I might be wrong but you know There's a lot of moving pieces, but I think the Pats are locked into a two seed. Wait, 12 and four, 13. So they'd both be 13 and four. You say New England goes over Jacksonville? Yeah, I think they've been over them and all the weird tiebreaker stuff, but maybe I'm crazy. Regardless, Jags, I have minus 14 over the Titans. I said 13 and a half, and it's only 10 and a half. Ooh.

1:18:11Didn't they screw something up? Was it the Jags or the Colts a few years ago on week 18? This could be. It was the Colts. No, it was the Jags. It was Lawrence, wasn't it? It was one of those AFC South teams. I can't remember. It was awful. Wasn't it? No, it was Indianapolis. It was Carson Wentz. That's what it was. And we all had him on every single teaser. I will tell you right now, I'm not putting the Jags in a tease. Really? I still don't 100 % trust him. Yeah. Do 2 % trust Cam Ward?

1:18:40Well, we know there's going to be a want game. We know it. We know one of these games is going to be fucked up. And the thing that scares me is it could be the Dolphins. And then did we do Bills-Jets? We didn't. Bills home for the Jets. Bills stay the seven seed unless the Chargers lose. You could make an argument they might throw the game away and not give a shit and rest Josh Allen for a week. But I did not factor that on my line. They're in Buffalo. I said Bills by 14 and a half. All right. It is Bills by 12 and a half, but you're going to get it because I said nine and a half. Killing you this week.

1:19:21I think the, so it's Trubisky if it's not Josh Allen, like even if it's a couple, like the great thing about this is you don't have to worry about throwing interception against the Jets because it's just not going to happen. Yeah, any turnover at all. Trubisky's cool. Brees Hall got his thousand yards. Yeah. The Jets need to get a top three pick. They'll probably rest everybody. Do you think the Jets and the Giants are now lumped in for every stat? Their home record at MetLife is just extraordinarily bad, and they haven't had a winning team in however long. Do you think at this point they should be like, hey, I want you guys to start including Buffalo when you talk about New York teams?

1:20:01Right, to boost our numbers. Yeah, to boost our numbers, it'll take the attention away from us a little bit. I think that's a really good idea. They should make a statement. I like that. I can't imagine the bills. I mean, this is a 10 point teaser. I'd feel good about the bills in there unless they were starting to arrest people and just throwing it away. But we'll find out as we get closer. All right. NFC seeding on the line. Bears Lions mentioned that earlier. They get the two seed with a win, the Bears. And it's in Chicago. I don't know what's going on with Detroit. What would you put for odds on Dan Campbell on the Fox studio show next year?

1:20:38I asked you like before 2030, but what about next year? No. Next year is what? 26? Nine months from now. Sometimes? No, no, no. They get rid of Bradshaw. There's Dan Campbell. They get rid of Gronk. One bite kneecaps. No. I would say that's still plus 1 ,500. Okay. He needs another year. I love Gronk. He's the best tight end I've ever seen in my life. One of my four favorite Patriots. It's upsetting to me how Fox uses him and it really makes me mad. Why? What do you mean? It's him like he's like the village idiot. Like they can't, that halftime of the game today, which is the only game I didn't even watch.

1:21:17And they go and he's standing on the second level and there's a table. And Kurt Menefee is like awkwardly standing next to this table. And Gronk's like, at halftime, am I going to jump through that table? And it's like, what is he? Our drunk uncle at Christmas is like, oh, Uncle Gronk's going to knock over the Christmas tree. Watch this. Like, this is a football studio show. He's the best tight end of all time. Why are you making him like a self-parody? I love Gronk. What are the producers doing with this? His predecessor is Terry Bradshaw. He's got a pee break. So that's it? They're grooming him to be like the next person everyone makes fun of?

1:21:54I don't know. I think Gronk's podcast is good. The one with him and Edelman. There's a lot more there. And then on that show, they make him seem like the... It's like, oh, he's like the fucking wacky neighbor in an 80s sitcom that comes over. It's like, oh, Gronk's here. Oh, he knocked over. a plant. It's like, is he? How did he end up with this role on the show? I honestly think there's precedent in that he is groomed. Bradshaw's grooming him. It's the best tight end of all time. You're like getting upset that Sammy Hagar screams during his songs. Like, yeah, this is what Van Halen, that's what they did.

1:22:29That's what David Lee wrote. It's upset. He means a lot to me, Grok. Just show Grok some respect. Am I going to jump through this table? That's coming up next. It's like, what are we doing? it's a network television show Rams oh that'll by the way that'll be on a sports blog with like a really angry headline Bill Simmons eviscerates Fox's use of Gronkowski you want to apologize now? you shouldn't be no I'm not going to apologize at all you're not going to do it? I'm glad give the sports blogs their meat okay just treat Gronk like he has an IQ over 80 because I'm pretty sure he does his podcast is good he's capable of conversations because I think it rang in at 77 seven.

1:23:08Am I going to jump through this table? Rams cards. No, we didn't do bears. Oh, we still didn't do bears. Well, Gronk jumped through a table. I got distracted. I have the bears by eight and a half. All right, so we're going to have to talk about this because I said six and I'm staring at this line and the bears are favored by one and a half. Did they lock down number two? We must have missed read something. So we fucked up. We must have, right? They are. What's their record? Oh, I know what it is. They did lock down too. No? Well, because they beat Philadelphia. I don't think. So the lose. But Philadelphia and Chicago, the same record.

1:23:57So if they win and Philadelphia wins, it doesn't matter. They get the two seed. But why wouldn't they want to win this game? They'd want to be the three seed? No, if they lose and Philly wins, they have the same record. And Philly's the two seed. We're going to go through this one. We used to be able to press pause. Right now, Philly's 11-5. And Chicago's 11-5. And Chicago beat Philly. So they have the tiebreaker over them. But if they lose and Philly wins, Philly's then the two seed. I guess they don't care about the two seed. I mean, they are still playing a game. That doesn't make sense. We got to be missing.

1:24:35Can people in the chat, if we're missing something with that Bears game, please put that in the YouTube chat? No, you've read it right. They're both 11-5. So if they lose a game to Philly, they're going to be a three seed. Yeah, but why wouldn't they want to win and be the two seed? And Detroit's season is over. These teams just like to rest. It's just better to have a rest unless you have a shot at a one seed. That's just how it is now. So they'd rather be the three seed? So three... So that would mean they would play the Rams. I'd rather play banged up Green Bay than the Rams. Like 100 times out of 100.

1:25:08Tough to beat a team three times, but you're probably right. Let's ask Rob Gronkowski, who's currently drinking Drano. Drano is our sponsor of the Halftime Show. Gronk, how's the Drano taste? It's the best tight end of all time. Protect Gronk. Hashtag protect Gronk. Put them on. The ringer should do it. Put them on with Kellerman and Rich Paul. Gronk, do something. Anything's better. Yeah. All right. That's crazy, though. I would have thought it was like six. I mean, that is what I guessed. Rams-Cardinals. It's in Los Angeles. The Rams are basically locked into the six seed. I still think they're going to be favored by seven and a half in this game.

1:25:56All right, I get this. I said eight and a half. It is nine and a half. Am I coming back here? Not really. No. 6-4. You're not coming back. You're coming nowhere. Eagles Washington. If they're going to maybe sit guys tomorrow, wouldn't they also maybe definitely sit guys week 18? That's high. I know Arizona sucks. So if you were the Rams, would you sit Puka and Stafford for the last two games and just get them ready? And anybody else you have who's banged up and just get them ready for round one? Because as you mentioned earlier, they've done this. They have done it. They didn't do it two weeks before.

1:26:30They did it on week 18 last year. We saw Jimmy G out there. But I wouldn't do it because I would feel bad for everyone to put a teaser in on them like Tuesday or Wednesday and wasn't thinking this through like me. I have the Rams tomorrow in a thing that all the other pieces hit thinking that they were a lock and now they might not care. It's not good. Eagles home for Washington. Eagles locked into a three seed could get the two seed with a Chicago loss. And as I said earlier, I still feel like that two seed matters because you get to play Green Bay who's missing everybody. I have Eagles by ten and a half.

1:27:13I get this. I said six. It's seven and a half. See, we're all over the place here. Why is it seven and a half? Are they think they're going to arrest people? Washington is Josh Johnson. That's such a stupid guessing game. This is the hardest week.

1:27:32So we have five games left. What's the score? You come back and be so fucking bad. You're up 6-5. You roped over me. You said I was going to win. This is bad. Well, I think you got all out of sorts with this Gronk thing. Gronk sent me in a tailspin.

1:27:49This game means absolutely nothing. Packers, Vikings, and yet Green Bay is the seventh, seed either way. I'm off by three points, so you could steal this one easily. I went low. It's in Minnesota. Mm-hmm. And I did Packers minus two and a half in Minnesota. Packers minus two and a half? Yeah. I said Vikings minus two and a half. It's Vikings minus five and a half. Oh, you're going to lose your shit. What in the hell? I mean, they're definitely sitting people, right? I mean, that's not... We're going to see guys who... Yeah, I didn't but from Wisconsin. What do the Vikings have to play for? You know, I mean, think about what Rosmer and Jalen Hurts did.

1:28:34Like they, they had almost negative yards passing combined. And they just, and they both won. Wow. Okay. Next category. Four games left. Top three draft pick on the line. First one, Chiefs at Raiders.

1:28:55Chiefs at Raiders. We just saw what the Raiders are capable of this week. Yep. It's in Las Vegas. I wanted to put this in the Vegas zone in honor of the Raiders, but I had to bump it up a point. I did Chiefs minus six and a half. Well done. I had five and a half. It is six and a half, exactly. Not touching it. And yet, you can't tease the Chiefs. No way. Because their quarterback is Michael Ola Candy, whatever his name is. Can't put it in there. It's a first-round pick. He's number one pick. I, yeah, I get that the Raiders know the assignment, but is Chris Oladokun going to play ball? Next one's a little harder.

1:29:36Cowboys at the Giants. Giants won today. Screwed up their chance at the number one pick, and now we'll be somewhere in the top five. Cowboys, you don't have your pick, right? You don't have your pick. We're doing all right. You don't have your pick, but you have the Packers pick. Right, yeah. You get the worst one of those two. That is what happens. I've Cowboys minus seven and a half is my guess for this. All right. I get this. I said six and a half. It is currently five and a half. Yeah. Vegas. Okay. Last one. Bengals. Who are just peaking at the right time here. Home for the Browns. I had the Bengals by seven and a half.

1:30:19We split it. I said six and a half. It is seven. All right. So one game left, what's the score? Hold on, hold on, hold on. Five, six, seven, eight. One, two, three, four. Fucking rope-a-dope me. I think it's tied. Six, seven, eight. God damn it. Seven, I swear it's tied. But is there one game left? Yeah, there's one. Falcon Saints. I'm off by two points. Falcon Saints in Atlanta. You're going to steal it. Falcon Saints in Atlanta. Saints showing signs of life lately. I have the Falcons by three. Yeah. Congratulations. It's two and a half. I said it's two and a half. I said four and a half. Oh, that sucks.

1:30:59That's all. I kind of came back for nothing. By the way, we have a lot of money. Me, you, House, Hench bet the Saints two come in last place. We have to really give it like 20 minutes thoughts of how we're going to hedge out of this. I mean, sir. So if the Falcons win one of the next two, we're good. Right? That is. Let's see. Wait, where are they? They're. Falcons are one ahead of the Saints. No, so they're 6-9. So if they win their 7-9 tomorrow, Saints are 6-10. If they both end up 7-10. Oh, they have the same record. They both have six wins. Six wins, yeah. Oh, so we're going to have to hedge this.

1:31:34How is this even? We should have won this 40 times over. They're going to have the number one pick. Could he win coach of the year? So what did we have? Cleveland, Tennessee, and the Saints, right? Just those three. Yeah, just those three. And the Jets, maybe? The only thing that could stop us was Tyler Shuck. Oh, yeah. Probably getting the job and then playing so well that he's now one of the favorites to win the Offensive Rookie of the Year. And that's exactly what happened. He beat everyone in that division. Sick, man. I lost some crazy futures. I thought I was going to win 75 % of my futures that I made before the year.

1:32:09Today I lost the Browns. I had three and a half wins under, which was plus 200. Lost that one. I had the Miami Dolphins under six and a half wins that was like plus 185 and what were they one and eight or it seemed like that was a lot they just played a bunch of cupcakes like six in a row what are you going to do we're excited when it's August you got to fire away Parent Corner presented by Greenland 2 Migration saw an ad for this during football if you loved the disaster hit film in 2020 the end of the world was only the beginning apparently Gerard Butler, Monor Baccarin they're back for the sequel oh no, I call it it's Morena Baccarin alright Morena Baccarin you're dumber than Gronk back for the sequel more on that later about Greenland 2 migration we're gonna do Parent Corner though what do you got alright, so Christmas, great everyone's home together got the tree going, the gifts.

1:33:16It's beautiful. It's fun. My son, Jack, my middle son, gave me the best gift a father could ever receive. We were scheduled. He had a wrestling tournament Friday, December 26th. Weigh-ins were at 7 a.m. in Upland, California, which is a good hour and a half drive. At 5.30 in the morning, you could get there probably an hour and 20 minutes. So I was going to have to be up on December 26th at 5.30 to take him to a tournament. and then he was going to, the rest of the tournament didn't even start till 11. So I was going to have to sit in my car and bet like English Premier Soccer. Christmas Eve, wrestling practice, he throws up in front of the coach and three other kids throw up.

1:33:59This is like the fourth throw up story with Jack we've had on Parent Corner. Oh, he's so good at vomiting. And the coach is like, see you Monday. It's like, you did it, buddy. You did it. What do you want? Do you want a pony? Whatever you want for Christmas. I'll get it for you. God bless you. And so the poison Cheez-Its you gave him that had like the stuff, the X-Lax stuff to make him throw up. Whatever it was. That was it. Yeah. And now he's not eating bread or pizza. No, that's you. But so that was... What a miracle for you. Really great. Really was a Christmas miracle. I can't thank him enough.

1:34:35Honestly, I was so relieved to not have to get up at 530 in the morning. I have another one. so fantasy football is just awful right i'm in a high stakes league and uh i'm in the finals so second place is nice prize but first place is a ridiculous we did some texting about this yes and i have a decision to make and going into saturday and it's basically christian watson or alec pierce right and so have you checked the history of this whenever somebody has a 50 50 a decision like this, they lose 100 % of the time with who they picked. There's actually no... I researched this. Nobody ever has the positive story of they picked the right person.

1:35:15It's always the wrong person. Didn't break the streak this time. I'm thinking, all right, Malik Willis, Christian Watson, he also... Watson had the red flag. He had the red flag. Everything's pointing against it. Alec Pierce had two touchdowns last Monday. Crazy figure. Philip Rivers loves him. He's in sync. I ask you and Hench. I ask my buddies, Brian and Darren. and I asked my buddy Alec. It was named Alec and still didn't say it. So I said, everybody says Watson. And my son Archie, I'm like, Archie, I'm going to let you be the deciding factor. And he's like, actually, everyone said Pierce. I'm sorry.

1:35:48So I said, I'm going to let you be the deciding factor. He's like, start Pierce, pick up Barner. He's looking through the thing. He's like, pick up the tight end in Seattle in case something happens to Pierce in the morning. I'm like, all right, that's a good idea. So I take Watson out. Frickin' goes nuts immediately. Their first touchdown. Malik Willis is thrown to him like they were college roommates. It was so in tune. It's insane. He puts up 23 points, and I'm losing my mind. I come downstairs, and I'm pacing and everything, and Archie's like, huh, Watson, huh? I was like, yes, motherfucker.

1:36:19I'm cursing under my back. And then Watson will catch the pass, and he goes to high-five me. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? He's talking to you. I was like, well, this is not, you know, Like you're going to stay in your used Corolla Tercel. Like if, if he's like, he's like, what? You put Watson in the lineup. I'm like, no, I didn't. And a lot of, because of you, I said Pierce and like, and we picked up Barner. Remember all that? He's like, oh yeah, I didn't. Okay. I didn't hear you. Right. I was like, yeah, you certainly didn't. He's like, oh, calm down. Now you're fighting. Now we're like arguing over this.

1:36:54And so I'm getting mad. I'm like, whatever. I end up losing by 60. So that's good. I'm not going to lose any sleep over this. But I don't think anyone should ever play fantasy for anything more than pride. I just don't. Because now Archie and I will never be the same. Right. You can't come back from that. That was it. We're never going to be the same because of sister Christian Watson. That's it. So I don't even know what the moral is, but fantasy can really. Don't play fantasy? Don't play fantasy. I had that last week with CJ Stroud just single-handedly murdering my season. And then I'm watching the Chargers game yesterday and he's just immediately two 70-yard bombs to start the game or whatever happened.

1:37:33I'm like, of course, why do we do this? But you're right, there should be sharp and square picks. Like what everybody would go with is the square pick, so I should have started Watson. Yeah, just zag. Yeah, he's got the red flag. Well, in our knockout league, it looks like our friend Cohurst, the MOOC, is going to win the league with McCaffrey, as we mentioned earlier. He's had, this will be his fourth title since I won my last title in 2007. And we still use this WCBS site and it has all the chimps. Right. Dating back to whenever you started the league, even before I was in it, before I moved to LA.

1:38:07Right. And this is how sad it's become for fantasy for me. And by the way, I won our guillotine league. I've won the league. I'm in with my college and high school buddies. Like I've hit that, but somehow I can't get over the hump. I went back and I looked at my 2017. Like I was looking through an old photo album. Yeah. I went through it. I'm like, oh man, Tomlinson, Peterson. Carson Palmer was so good. They had Romo was on the team. Wes Welker. I'm just going through. I'm like, ah, that was such a great year. You should have a reunion. 19 years coming up. 18 years. 18 years ago. It's there on the fucking site.

1:38:48Anyway, congrats to the MOOC. He's won four times. That's my last. You should win it once in a while. You'd think I would win once in a while. I'm good in all the other leagues. I know. my parent corner so Christmas night my kids are excited and by the way my kids are barely kids anymore like my daughter's gonna be 21 in May and my son's 18 all that Christmas they just want to race through it because of Netflix is releasing the next three episodes of Stranger Things it's all they care about I love that you're on TV Christmas but they're they never even came over the TV for that no could have cared less Stranger Things is coming so we set the dinner so that we can finish and everybody can get out of the house by, you know, like, uh, I don't know, six o 'clock and then they're going to watch Stranger Things.

1:39:35And it's going head to head against the NBA. It's like the end of the second to last game and then Denver, Minnesota, which I was excited about, but I have the setup where we have the big TV and then I have the two side TVs so I could watch Denver, Minnesota. I'm like, it's Christmas. I'm going to hang out with my kids. I'll watch Stranger Things with them, which I think was almost four hours. Because the episodes were longer than an hour. So it's episode five, six, seven, but somehow not the eighth. I've never seen the show other than like the first episode six years ago. I have no idea what's going on with any of it.

1:40:08I'm just completely out. I don't know anything. And I'm just watching the show, but I'm really watching the basketball, which turns out to be this incredible game. Jokic has like a 55, 15, 16. It goes into overtime. Edwards has a crazy shot. And they're watching Stranger Things. This just seems like the dumbest show. I can't believe this is a phenomenon. But the reason it seemed dumb to me was because I didn't understand any of it. They're so far advanced and their kids are explaining it to me like, no, no, only 11 and the other person, they're the only two people that can go back and forth between the worlds.

1:40:41And this person can't, but they think they can. There's an upside down. And then there was like the end of the fifth episode. They're going nuts because something, and I'm just watching it. And I didn't know anything that was happening. And I was like, this must be what happened when people watch sports with us and they don't know anything that's going on. Like we're watching football and we're going nuts on every play. And oh my God. And, and whoever's sitting there and they don't care about the NFL and they're kind of annoyed that we're that into it. So it flipped on me on Christmas. I was just kind of annoyed by Stranger Things.

1:41:14I was excited to see Winona Ryder. You know, she meant a lot to us once upon a time. Linda Hamilton came in at some point from Terminator. she was playing a bad person other than that like if you quiz me on what happened I don't think I'd be able to answer three questions you can't jump into something like that that's not like Landman or something there's so many twists and turns but that specifically it is so far down the rabbit hole for people who watch the show it is completely inaccessible to people like us I had no idea what was happening but I'll tell you this, my kids were fired up and excited for four hours they thought it panned out it played out they were mad at the end of the 7th episode that it was that obviously there's one more coming on New Year's Eve I see but they were like now we have to wait what are you going to do New Year's Eve you're going to have to watch Ohio State play it's Ohio State Miami while watching the finale there's a couple and probably some good basketball too neither side I didn't get sucked in and I feel like now I know what happens for the most part.

1:42:20I don't want to spoil it if people haven't seen it yet. It hurt my head. I had to quit because it was, first of all, it was very long. Like to knock through season four or three, whatever it was, it was very long. But people do love it. The big winner of the show seems to be Kate Bush because they keep playing that song she has. Yeah. And they actually weave it into the plot. So like she must be delighted that that happened. But anyway, Parent Corner, I tried. I tried to, I tried to get into it for my kids. It just didn't work. Today's Parent Corner presented by Greenland 2 Migration. Where were we?

1:42:55That's right. The sequel. Five years after a comet strike devastated most of the earth. The Garrity family leaving the safety of their bunker in Greenland in search of a new home. We'll see. We'll see what happens to them. A disaster film and my guy, Gerard freaking Butler, my guy from Den of Thieves. What else do you need? Greenland 2 Migration in theaters January 9th rated. PG-13. I have a quick NBA thing for you. Go ahead. And just so people know, this is where I just sit and I nod and I can't contribute more. And I furiously look through. Yeah, but you still, you're on our gambling shows. Of course, I love it.

1:43:30I'm just, no, I'm not. The Warriors had a really bad, the Warriors had a bad loss today in Toronto. Like a bad one. They controlled the whole game. I actually had it on because we only had two NFL games. So I was watching it and they just couldn't close and they just kind of like broken. I don't know what the fix is. It's no matter how good Steph is, they can't fix it. Toronto wins an OT. They've just seemed like they've taken whatever iteration is as far as they can go. Then you see the Lakers. I think they're three and six since LeBron came back. He's kind of screwed up their team. Nobody wants to admit it, but it kind of has.

1:44:05Now they have these, now Reeves is out for a month. The team just has got, like, Redick is, seems like he's not handling things great. and I was just thinking like, how do you make the league more fun? You have a team that nobody's excited about with the Lakers and a team that feels dead with the Warriors. LeBron for Jimmy Butler. Oh, okay. That's it. And I looked it up because Bronny probably has to be in it too and the Warriors can throw in Will Richard. I sent this to a couple people, including Zach, who got excited about it, Zach Lowe. But it feels like for the good of the sport trade. It's just more fun.

1:44:46The Warriors are not fun. I don't see a scenario where they become from, but now you put LeBron on the team with Curry. LeBron reinvigorated and who knows? And then Butler is probably a better fit with LeBron and Reeves anyway. With Luka and Reeves anyway. Who's more likely to say no to that? Golden State, right? I don't know. That's why... Oh, I think Golden State would probably do that. You think so? Because LeBron is an expiring contract in the end of the year. Maybe they'd throw one more year. It's a good who says no, though. Because if you're the Lakers, you can lock in the Butler contract for an extra year because all they care about is two years from now.

1:45:22But maybe Butler is a better fit with what they have anyway. Because LeBron doesn't really seem like he wants to be on the Lakers. This is my take. And then Bronny has to come over. Does Jimmy Butler's son have to? Do they do like this? Timmy Butler? He also has to be involved. If Jimmy Butler has any sons, they also have to be in the trade. Okay. I think that works. That was my idea. I like that. That's all I got for you. Why couldn't you tell me not to bounce back with the Spurs, not bounce back, because they had beaten the Thunder on Christmas. But I stupidly took them on a Moneyline parlay against, what was it, Jazz?

1:45:55That was the most obvious loss possible. Oh, shut up. That was ridiculous. You know what was another one? And I would never bet against the Celtics. But this road trip where it's like, they're only playing under 500 teams. And it was like the Portland spot was so dangerous tonight. and of course they lost in the last two minutes. I'm hearing... And now they're playing the Clippers who are coming on. They're like four bad teams that are playing well now, right? The Clippers, the Jazz, the Wizards won. The House's Wizards won back-to-back. The Nets are playing well. The Nets. The Stupid Hornets.

1:46:28Porter's playing so well for the Nets that they're going to have to emergency trade him, it looks like. Yeah. They're going to have to move in the next two weeks before he completely screws up their chance to get a top three pick. There's a lot of teams that are not happy about about their team right now, including the Warriors and the Lakers, which is why I thought of it. Anything else before we go? That's it. We're going to be on, I'm on with Tate Tuesday, and then Friday, we've got a lot of college football to talk, and it's a good time of year. Lots of fun. All right. Well, we're on, our last live show on YouTube is going to be next week.

1:47:00Oh, right. After week 18, after the NFC West One Seed Showdown, we'll be live, and then starting on the January 11th, Sunday coming off three NFL games. We'll be live on Netflix for that one. And then you'll also be able to get it on Spotify, by the way, it is not exclusively on Netflix. You also have to say that there, they were on Netflix and Spotify. They cut the biggest check. Don't be stupid here. Yeah, no, they, and then in three weeks from then we're on to be, I don't know how this works out. This is to be, those are the classic episodes with us. This is from, from years past where we're flipping out about terrible.

1:47:38You'll get to see Simmons' 2007 fantasy team highlight. Yeah. Video yearbook. It's like one week I'm eating gluten, and the next week I'm not. I'm drinking water and honey. What the hell? What happened to you? Well, I'm psyched that I beat Pam Bondi. Because it was a very strange year for a lot of different reasons. But in a lot of ways, I'm glad we're at the end of it. I'm excited for 2026. As always, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. Thanks to Gahal. Thanks to Eduardo as well. I'm going to see you on Tuesday on this feed and then a special episode of the rewatchables tomorrow as well.

1:48:11Bye, Sal. See you, bud.

1:48:26Must be 21 plus in president select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in president DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. gamin problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER, visit rg-help.com, call 888-79-7777, or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut, or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts, or call 877-8HOPE-NY or text HOPENY in New York.