A Goofy Cowboys Tie, the Reeling Ravens, a Crazy Sports Weekend, Guess the Lines, Mets Sadness, and Sox-Yanks With Cousin Sal

14:09Cousin Sal:You're not freaking kidding. I don't know. I still haven't heard one that's perfect, honestly.

14:16Bill Simmons:Yeah.

14:17Cousin Sal:What would you do? I would have gone two more minutes. I think it should be 12 minutes.

14:21Bill Simmons:Yeah. Because then that's enough time for two long drives. You've got the two timeouts. And then if you're the Packers, where you're like, ah, whatever, we'll just tie, you're not worried about Dallas getting the ball back because you can do what they did, which is just basically kill the clock. I didn't like that.

14:36Cousin Sal:I'm good with adding time. I don't think it's a danger thing anymore. You got half the players wearing helmets the size of the sphere. So we're good. We can play two more minutes.

14:46Bill Simmons:The Packers are playing blackjack. They're just surrendering over and over again. Ah, surrender. Ah, one more.

14:53Cousin Sal:Very strange. So you didn't like the two-point. I don't think, I take it you didn't like the two-point conversion being run back. Well, the extra point being blocked. You weren't a fan of that.

15:03Bill Simmons:You know what I wasn't a fan of? They scored and it's 13-0. And I had a great day today. and this was like the Packers and some Moneyline parlays was the capper. And I went and I got myself a nice thing of hot water. Three minutes, I'm talking to my son in the kitchen, come back with my glass of hot water with a little lemon in it. And it's 13 to two. And I'm like, did I like have a stroke? What, how, what, did I miss a safety? And so now I'm rewinding. And I mean, that never happens, that two point thing. They said it happened 15 times in the last 11 years. I don't remember any of the times. Do you?

15:42Bill Simmons:Like maybe once?

15:43Cousin Sal:No, it never happens. Another thing that never happens, a football fan drinking hot water with lemon. What's the matter? Are you sick or something?

15:51Bill Simmons:Huh? What's wrong with having hot water with lemon?

15:54Cousin Sal:What's right with it? Hot water and lemon. You deserve that. I'm old. You're going to run back. I'm old. Oh my God.

16:01Bill Simmons:I had some pizza today. I wanted to send some hot water down the pipes.

16:05Cousin Sal:Oh, my God. Wow. How dare you? No, it's good. It's good.

16:12Bill Simmons:You were complaining on Tuesday night because I wanted to get milkshakes, and you didn't want to get a milkshake. I know. You wanted to share a milkshake with Rob Mills. You wanted to share a milkshake with another grown man.

16:22Cousin Sal:You're making fun of me? I can't breathe at the end of these meals. I still don't want hot water and lemon. I would never be seen.

16:29Bill Simmons:Well, the hot water is making me hot and sweaty right now, So I'm probably going to have a stroke as we do this. Well, Green Bay, I'm pretty lukewarm. I know they'll get a couple receivers back. They'll get a little healthier on the defensive side. But for the most part, the impact of the Parsons thing was not what we had in our heads so far.

16:53Cousin Sal:Definitely far from what we saw week one, right? Like against Detroit. Like, oh, this team's not – you're going to be lucky to get 10 points against this team. at all. I'm looking at the divisions. You want to guess?

17:06Bill Simmons:For NFC North?

17:08Cousin Sal:North, yeah.

17:09Bill Simmons:I think Detroit has to be favored now. Probably minus... I haven't looked at this. I would say Detroit minus 140.

17:17Cousin Sal:Detroit plus 140. Green Bay. Sorry.

17:20Bill Simmons:No, I would have said minus 140.

17:22Cousin Sal:Yeah, yeah. Green Bay's even. Detroit plus 140.

17:26Bill Simmons:So Green Bay's favored still.

17:28Cousin Sal:Yeah. Barely favored. And they have to play in Detroit, yeah, yeah.

17:35Bill Simmons:So who would you have in the NFC right now? In the whole NFC? If you had to pick an NFC team. It's the Eagles. I hate it, but it's the Eagles. Yeah, isn't it? They had no completions in the second half. I know, I know. They're laughing at all of us. They just love to fuck with us. Let's play a game of win you over. I'm going to throw some things at you, and you tell me if you were won over or not. I'm going to throw some hot tea with lemon at you. Now I don't have a lemon in this one. It's just hot water.

18:07Cousin Sal:Look. At least put it in a Big John Stud glass or something.

18:14Cousin Sal:This is going to be us in the nursing home 25 years from now.

18:17Bill Simmons:You're making fun of me with the hot water. Put your lemon away.

18:24Bill Simmons:Win you over. Did the Chiefs win you back today?

18:29Cousin Sal:Yeah. They did. Yeah. Okay. They did. Yeah. They, I think they were laughing at all of us, much like the Eagles do offensive with their offensive game call. But I don't know, man. I mean, they have receivers like dancing. Like, all right, you, you barely break 17 points any week and you guys are dancing around. Then like, I don't know. Do you think it's a combination of the Ravens defense being abysmal?

18:54Bill Simmons:Bottom three. I thought it was a good sign how they played today. I didn't understand the line this week, especially when all the Baltimore injuries came out. I thought it probably should have been closer to Pickham. With that said, I just thought Baltimore was decimated. I think Harbaugh knew it. Some of the usage with Henry was pretty strange, where he just wasn't in there on these third and two, third and ones, where I feel like in January he will be. And I thought the announcers did a good job of talking about it. When he's out there, you have to play like he's going to move your line back.

19:28Bill Simmons:And when he's not out there, you can just play everything completely different. So I just felt like they kind of knew they weren't going to win the game. And they went pretty vanilla. And Lamar tweaked his hamstring. And they're just like, all right, he's out. It was like they just felt like they weren't going to win. And they didn't really want to go for it. That was my take.

19:48Cousin Sal:Yeah. I mean, you're not wrong. This is two weeks in a row we saw Lamar not be able to break contain, right? And maybe you're right. Maybe they're just showing vanilla offense because they knew they were going to be stuck today. But yeah, the Chiefs are... You know, once the Chargers lost to the Giants, I'm like, oh, I get it. I get it. Now the Chiefs are going to win. They're going to be a game out and they still have the game at home against the Chargers. Now I understand football.

20:15Bill Simmons:Kyle Hamilton had a really weird quote. Let me see if I can find it. It was the only thing that made me feel weird about maybe something's going on with the Ravens. He said, I just want to apologize to the fans. The product that we're putting in the field right now is not up to par with what the Ravens have been in the past, in recent past. We're trying our best to correct it, but obviously something's wrong. It's their best guy on defense. Now, they're missing seven guys. It's going to take a while for everybody to come back, and they feel like they do this every once in a while, But the difference this time around, going one and three, apparently that's only happened twice in the last 25 years for them.

20:57Bill Simmons:In 05 and 15, they didn't make the playoffs. And more importantly, their defense is on pace to allow 560 points. Wow. That seems like a problem. Yeah. That's a lot. They're 560 for 17 games. And they just don't get stops. They seem slow. And I would be like, Mallory is freaking out. She thinks they might be the year from hell team. Yeah. Which brings up the point that we don't have the year from hell team obvious yet, and they're probably the favorite, right? They're minus 150 to be the year from hell team. Who else would you put the Niners?

21:32Cousin Sal:No. Niners? They're kind of coming off the year from hell. So you can assume that it might happen again. Yeah, I was thinking about it. So just taking it down the ladder a little bit. I don't think Lamar could be in the conversation with Allen before this game even to be MVP. Because after last week's performance, they're going to lose five games. They're not going to be a top two seed. Now I'm not even sure they win that division. What do we have for the odds there? Do you have that? Baltimore's minus 210. I don't know if there's value in the Steelers plus 280, but I had no way I would take the Ravens at minus 210 at this point.

22:11Bill Simmons:So the Steelers have a two-game lead on them. and one of the biggest, shiniest horseshoes up their ass that I've seen in recent years. It's unbelievable. We're going to talk about them later. I think there's a real issue with the Ravens with all these injuries and the fact that the bigger thing is their schedules. It was one of the three or four schedules we were kind of worried about heading into the year. We were wondering if they would go two and two to come out of this and then kind of right the ship and do what they do. But I don't know. I guess the one thing with them is the division, I don't think.

22:46Bill Simmons:Now that Burrow's out, Cleveland can't score. There's already like, are they going to change QBs, stuff with them? And I continue to not think Pittsburgh is good. I don't care. They can go 16-1, and I'm just not buying them this year. I was in on them last year. I don't see it this year.

23:00Cousin Sal:Do you? I'm with you, but they're going to win games like this, like today, right? Like, I don't want to give them too much credit, but their offense isn't imaginative at all. They moved the ball a little better. But, you know, I go back and forth. They have wins against Justin Fields and Drake, maybe, and Carson Wentz. And I'm like, but I'm not betting them to win the AFC North, right? And they have the Browns and Bengals next. They could be 5-1, this team.

23:26Bill Simmons:They seem so easy to stop. Rodgers is just quick-throwing everything. I don't understand why teams don't just move everybody up. Like, they're not trying to test anybody down the field at all. Yeah. I don't think they run the ball particularly well, though Gainwell was pretty good today. and they just get these turnovers every game. I mean, the Jags are the other team that are just getting turnovers left and right and the Steelers are getting them. But the game today, like the right tackle and the center and the Vikings were out by the second quarter. Like you just kind of knew, all right, Carson Wentz with a triple-A offensive line, like this isn't going to go well.

24:02Bill Simmons:And then they're playing in Ireland, which is supposed to be, you know, their foreign country neutral site. It's like 95 % Steelers fans there. And it felt like a real home game. And it seemed like it was loud there too. So I just don't see it. I thought the patch should beat them last week, like convincingly. So I said that last week.

24:23Cousin Sal:Yeah. I mean, look, they're probably somewhere in between what we saw today. I still don't like the quality of quarterbacks they're facing. Like Wentz, you know, we fall in love with some of these backups. Like Wentz won last week. They crushed Cincinnati. Cincinnati. Well, look what Cincinnati did the week before. They won and we like Browning, right? Like, it doesn't... You can't count on these guys to play consecutive games, you know, above par, I think.

24:47Bill Simmons:Yeah. I mean, Wentz and Mariota were two people I didn't bet on Washington. Yeah. Two quarterbacks you could have bet on today and felt good about that until you're watching the game and you're like, oh, shit. I bet on Marcus Mariota. What did I do? Right. Right. Did the Jaguars win you over? Where are you with that? How much of that game did you watch?

25:12Cousin Sal:No, I watched a lot of it. And I, you know, I have to stick with them because I picked them to win that stupid division. And, but they.

25:20Bill Simmons:Three and one. I don't know if it's stupid.

25:22Cousin Sal:Plenty of times they look to give that game away. Right. That just seems to be the thing. Like, will the clock expire before they do enough stupid shit? Whether it's Trevor Lawrence going out of bounds, you know. when he should be trying to kill the clock. But I think you said it earlier. They have three or more turnovers in all four games. They had four today. And Eric Armstead is all walking is older. Yeah. So that'll keep them in every game if that keeps up. But it's also kind of flukish.

25:49Bill Simmons:They had nine total last year. They have 13 already this year through four. They lead the league. Pretty good. I've actually just randomly, I think, have watched every Jaguars game. I think I've had money on three of them. there were a couple you know dopey turnovers that like oh that was stupid but they there was somewhere they you know they caused the turnover and they are aggressive and they do fly around and they make plays so at some point it's a real thing um I want to point out they're a dumb Jake Browning drive away from being 4-0 right?

26:19Cousin Sal:right for sure

26:21Bill Simmons:their best player has 12 catches and zero TDs in four games Thomas their stud mega rookie who they traded all that shit for has 10 catches and zero TDs in four games. And for some reason, it's working. Etienne is like really, really... Like he murdered my fantasy team last year. But he's got the juice back. And I don't know. They've gotten some special team stuff. Their coach tried to fight Robert A. Kittsala. That's fun. After the game, I enjoyed that. And I can't find seven AFC playoff teams. So they might make it. I mean, they might get to nine and make it.

26:59Cousin Sal:They could beat out Baltimore for a while card at this point, even if they don't win the division. It's getting that weird.

27:06Bill Simmons:I think I don't want to say they won me over, but I am taking them seriously as like I bet on them today they won. I do think they're competent. I think they're slightly above middle of the road. I feel the same way about them and the Pats. The Niners, is there a 3-1 team you like less than the Niners right now?

27:28Cousin Sal:Let me say...

27:29Bill Simmons:They looked awful today.

27:33Cousin Sal:what's Denver? Are they two and one? They could be three and one or no. Three and one teams are,

27:37Bill Simmons:I'll give them to you. Pittsburgh, Jacksonville, Indy, Chargers, Detroit, Tampa, San Francisco, Seattle, and the Rams. I mean,

27:47Cousin Sal:we're probably going to get to this on your list there, but Indy is, I think I would take San Francisco over Indianapolis.

27:54Bill Simmons:Okay.

27:55Cousin Sal:Not by a lot, but they just, they just look like they want to do anything stupid to lose. I mean, And that Adonai Mitchell play, sorry. What's the equivalent of that? He cost him 14 points. The touchback one is the one I love. Yeah, that was tough. I felt bad for him because it wasn't like a Deshaun

28:17Bill Simmons:putting the ball out and doing a dance. He was about to cross the line and he was going to hold it up, which every guy does. But for some reason when he did it, he had like a spasm.

28:27Cousin Sal:Yeah, it was a little less foolish.

28:29Bill Simmons:Yeah, it wasn't. The Deshaun thing is still like the all-timer. When they drop it before they hit the goal line, those are the stupidest.

28:36Cousin Sal:Yeah, that wasn't that. But I mean, does this go on in any other workplace, really? Like at the Ringer, if someone wrote an article and then juggled his computer in celebration and dropped it into a staircase, three floors, like you're like, fucking asshole, don't ever talk to me again, right? What are you doing?

28:53Bill Simmons:You flew to New York, you forgot your cord. Yeah, that's true. That was like an Adonado Mitchell. Can I not imagine you go to Amazon and send you a new recorder? Oh, what an idiot I am. Here's the thing with the Niners. Special teams, week after week, they're in the bottom three or five, right? They gave up a huge kick return this week. They had the field goal stuff from earlier in the year. It just feels like they've just never solved that. They just lose points. They're like the anti-Dallas. They've already had a bunch of injuries, and they have not had the McCaffrey injury yet. and they're rushing by the way what do you think they're rushing yards per carry the vaunted diners running attack 4-2 3-3

29:37Cousin Sal:really

29:37Bill Simmons:second to last in the NFL and they're playing Thursday right playing Seattle so they could be 3-2 and headed the wrong way or the Rams Thursday so I don't know who's your favorite NFC West team

29:54Cousin Sal:I think you're right because it's like we haven't seen the end of their injuries. And Purdy, like, you and I, we went back and forth with Purdy so much from game to game. I did it again.

30:03Bill Simmons:I'm back against... But now you'll see it

30:06Cousin Sal:within the games. You'll see him make a great throw, and then you're like, oh my god, what is he thinking with that interception? Just within the same game. That's new Purdy. Alright, let's look at this. He makes some plays

30:18Bill Simmons:that I'm just like, I gotta go get some hot water and lemon. I just can't believe he did that. You got to blame someone for that. That's a double lemon. It's a double lemon. Plus throw into traffic by Purdy. Yeah, so can I get, I haven't looked at the NFC West lines. Can I guess? Sure, yeah. Because we have three, three and one teams and then Arizona's two and two. Two and two, yeah. I'm going to say the Rams are favored to win the NFC West and probably in the plus 140 to 150 range.

30:49Cousin Sal:Very good. Plus 135.

30:51Bill Simmons:I'm going to say the Niners are second just because there's a bunch of money in them already, but it's probably higher, like plus 190.

30:59Cousin Sal:165.

31:01Bill Simmons:I think Seattle's under 2-1, probably plus 190.

31:06Cousin Sal:All right, so that's the team you got to bet, and I like them too. They're 4-1. I guess they were almost 8-1 last week, but I don't think they cut that enough.

31:16Bill Simmons:They were 5-1 before the season because I bet it. after week one, they went to 10-1, 11-1 in some spots. Eight-to-one after week two. So now still four-to-one. Four-to-one. I think Seattle's a good team.

31:30Cousin Sal:Well, we were cursing that coach all Thursday night on text. We were very upset with their decisions. A lot of good coaches made weird decisions this week.

31:41Bill Simmons:I just think he's like, do you ever have those family members or friends who are just like the overprotective parents? where they're just like, you're going somewhere and the kids have to be in a car seat and just completely over the top. I just think that's how he treats offense. He's like, gotta be careful. Put Donald in a car seat. It's 33. He's so scared of anything, of having the offense fuck things up. He either really believes in his defense or just doesn't understand offense. Because this is two out of the four weeks, he just seemed terrified to let his offense win a game for him.

32:22Cousin Sal:Yeah. And then by the goal line, making weird calls. Kenneth Walker never gets a ball at the goal line anymore. And nobody does their kickers any favors. Nobody wants to go for touchdowns anymore. It's like, all right, let's get him to the 36-yard line. Let's see what he's got.

32:36Bill Simmons:Let's take a break, and then we're going to play more win-you-overs. All right. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. FanDuel is changing the way you live bet football, and it starts with next drive SGPs. Now you can bet what's happening on next drive. We'll get in a touchdown, a punt, or a field goal. See the player stats you need, stack in player props, build your bet exactly how you want it. And every NFL game day comes with a profit boost you can use on your next drive SGP so you can get more of every play, whether you're betting a drive, a player, or the next big moment. FanDuel makes live betting feel smarter, faster, and way more fun.

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33:47Bill Simmons:This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra, the official beer partner of the NBA. You know the NBA season's almost here when that anticipation kicks in. What trades worked? What rookies are popping? Which teams might flame out by Christmas? I already had my guard up with this season because the Celtics, obviously a team in a little bit of flux. And then Jason Tatum posted like a minute of him working out and looking really good. And it broke my brain because for the first time I was like, wow, he might actually be back in the second half of the season. What's that going to mean? Whatever happens when I'm watching all that unfold, I'm doing with the Michelob Ultra in hand.

34:25Bill Simmons:Superior Light Beer, just 95 calories. There are a lot of moments worth playing for, but the ones that taste the best are served cold. Order Michelob Ultra and fill up your fridge as we gear up for NBA season. Cannot wait. Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2025. Anheuser-Busch. Michelob Ultra Light Beer. St. Louis, Missouri. All right, I have a couple more win-you-overs. This was my number one one-me-over guy. I want to see if you felt the same way. Did Ashton Gentry win you over as a top six pick today?

34:55Cousin Sal:Yeah, this is a departure of what we said just last week, right? Literally seven days ago.

35:02Bill Simmons:We were like, man, when you have that many holes, I don't know, that's a luxury pick. I believed that when I said it.

35:08Cousin Sal:I've watched a lot of them. He's getting blasted behind the line of scrimmage. So his bad carries are not his fault at all, I don't think, for the most part. That offensive line is decrepit. And had injuries today, too. Right. But when he breaks them, man, he's rock solid. So, yeah, he's back. He's back in my eyes. Won me over.

35:29Bill Simmons:I thought he was the best player I watched today on any of the TVs. Wow. He was either getting blasted behind the line and somehow fighting his way back to the line of scrimmage. I don't know how many guys. I can't wait for the stats. I don't know how many guys he made missed today, but it had to have been... It felt like 20. He's just so dangerous. He can catch it. I just felt like he found his footing today. I felt in the other games, he just seemed kind of small to me. And today, he was just like... I thought he was overpowering today. I thought he was awesome. And that was a really, really, really, really horrible Raiders loss.

36:05Cousin Sal:Yeah, I was going to say, plays from losers. That's a problem.

36:08Bill Simmons:Yeah, I'm out. I had them begrudgingly as my seventh seed. And it was like, do you go Jacksonville? Do you go Indy? Like, who do you have to go nine and eight? And I was like, ah, fucking Vegas. They're not making the playoffs. I feel very comfortable predicting that right now. You're out on the Raiders? You don't think this is a hasty decision?

36:27Cousin Sal:Wow.

36:27Bill Simmons:No. Okay. No. Yeah. We need to have... Gino has seven picks in four games, by the way. I know. We need to have a real combo about Pete Carroll. Because they're one of the three worst coach teams. They do really stupid game management stuff. They seem unprepared. They're sloppy. I just don't agree with stuff. I don't know how they beat the Pats in week one, because I think the Pats are just better than them.

36:52Cousin Sal:When he went on third and two, again, setting his kicker up for a shitty long field goal, because there's this common misconception that everybody makes field goals. Like, no, there's a bunch that are blocked and there's a bunch that just miss, you know? It still happens. But they cut away to him, like, right after the run play, the weak run play, and he's like, that was a bad call. He actually, you could see his mouth goes like, yeah, yes, Pete, yes, you're getting it, yeah.

37:15Bill Simmons:Well, I wonder, like, with him and Belichick, because I've been thinking about this with Belichick and we even talked about it a little last week. Like, I wrote this column for ESPN. It must have been in, I don't know, late 2000. I did the speed limit corollary about when coaches hit 55.

37:31Cousin Sal:I remember that.

37:32Bill Simmons:That they start tailing out and I had all this data. And it was like Don Shula, Chuck Knoll, Tom Landry, all these people when they hit a certain age. And then, you know, as we have better stuff now, we have hot tea with lemon and creatine and all these things, HGH, all these different ways, mind exercises. But maybe we're really pushing it when we get to the mid-70s. Like it might be too much. And I can only judge it from the people in our life who have hit that age. And you have a few relatives in that age or higher. And it's just like, I just don't know if they should be running an NFL team against people like in their 30s, like Ben Johnson.

38:09Cousin Sal:But then we get tricked, right? Because he's doing pushups with the special teams and training camp. And he's chewing that gum faster than anybody's ever said. Like, oh man, maybe there's something in the gum. And the players like him. So you want to make an exception in his case, but you're right. Sometimes it's too old.

38:27Bill Simmons:It's a tall task because it still seems like he's Pete Carroll, right? He looks young and spry, but man, they look really, really sloppy.

38:35Cousin Sal:I mean, this guy might be getting up at four in the morning and going to the facility every day. So what the hell do we know? But yeah, they're just no different. They're never any different.

38:47Bill Simmons:Well, the weird thing is Tennessee is definitely the worst team in the conference. They're really, really terrible.

38:52Cousin Sal:Did not win me over. Was that on your list? I did not have them on the list.

38:56Bill Simmons:Okay. Jets, Miami, one of those teams may be terrible, maybe both. And we'll probably have a better idea after tomorrow. Cincinnati without Burrow might be terrible. And then, you know, the Browns.

39:12Cousin Sal:You got to hate the Saints and the Panthers.

39:13Bill Simmons:I'm just going to AFC.

39:15Cousin Sal:Oh, sorry. Okay.

39:16Bill Simmons:Yeah. The Browns, their quarterback is just two, three picks every week. They might be terrible. There's just a lot of terrible... No surprises. But yet, if you go to the NFC, it's only New Orleans and Carolina that I feel like are really bad. I don't think the Giants are bad. Giants jumped out of there momentarily.

39:36Cousin Sal:Your team's not bad. Thank you. Yeah, I don't know what other NFC... I guess the Bears aren't bad because they win against garbage teams like mine and today.

39:49Bill Simmons:Tennessee is really bad. And we talked about Callahan fire, tire, tire, and tire fires. We've already done that whole thing. The Tommy boy Titans. Cam Ward finally laid into them. Did, uh, did the bears show you anything that you liked today? Cause they are two and two. I did watch a five minute bears locker room handing out the game balls. Ben Johnson was like just doing a Sean McVay impersonation. Gave one to, uh, gave one to, uh, the safety buyer. He gave one to the guy who blocked the kick. Right, right, right. And he was like, I told you. He was doing that whole thing. And it was like, you guys, you should have lost.

40:30Bill Simmons:Like, the Raiders, I don't know how they didn't win the game. They'll get too excited.

40:33Cousin Sal:He's going to have to give one to the reporter who asked him, what are you going to change? Did you see that? The female reporter. Yeah, you got a little testy. Getting in trouble. Yeah. It kind of sucks because there's only one question you could ask a coach that's losing coming out of the locker room. And it's like, what are you going to do different? But if you word it just differently and be like, you got to, what are you going to change? Come on. Like, come on. What's wrong with you? You could see these guys getting mad, but no game ball.

41:00Bill Simmons:She, she, she, she maybe should have audible than done like that. So what do you think of Las Vegas? Like it's really changed, huh?

41:08Cousin Sal:Exactly. Are you a six to five? Will you leave the table? If you don't see three to two blackjack?

41:13Bill Simmons:Cause, uh, why do you think tourism's down? What would be your three takes? I'm not sure about the Bears. I didn't think Caleb played particularly well. Their defense made a couple plays, but it was almost a case that the Raiders were just kind of worse. All right, next one. Did Drake maybe win you over? He was great today. This is maybe, though.

41:38Cousin Sal:This is why he's maybe, right? He's got to do it. Go to Buffalo next week and do something similar. Because right now it's just, yeah, maybe. And I bet him over one and a half touchdowns today. I thought this was a nice spot for him. Maybe he's Drake, definitely. Oh, come on. That doesn't even flow. Still Drake, maybe. I know, I got a lot of shit for that.

41:57Bill Simmons:I can't wait to get... You got a lot of shit for that? Well, like, oh, look what he's doing.

42:01Cousin Sal:Who was it? Jaybug, even on our chain. It's like, look, yeah. Jaybug was offended.

42:05Bill Simmons:Yeah, he didn't like that. All right, well, next week. We all love Drake May. There's some good Drake May stats now about his stats three games in a row. and it's like, the only other QBs under 23, Peyton Manning and Tom Brady. Yeah, yeah, he's on some weird list. But you know when you can make these lists where you're like, only five other QBs have ever done this. But I mean, he's completing over 75 % of his passes. He's not turning the ball over that much. He only had one dumb play today. It didn't come back to haunt them. But the thing that I loved about him today, because you knew they were going to win once they went up 14-6.

42:40Bill Simmons:there was a couple plays during the game there was one play there was a run out to the side when last year he would have put a shoulder and tried to get the extra yard and ended up getting like concussed and then there was another one on a scramble or the middle where he slid but it's clear that they've just banged home don't take hits, don't take hits, don't take hits so he was like way more cautious about how he put his body out there which I thought he was excellent but that said Carolina's terrible I mean, that's what I was going to say.

43:10Cousin Sal:If you were to create the perfect get right spot, wouldn't it be Carolina playing Carolina at home? It was after, after they won a game.

43:19Bill Simmons:Right. And the line was two points too low. The line should have been over seven. I think. Yeah. I think this is a bigger game for Vrabel.

43:27Cousin Sal:I mean, I would have think Drake, Drake may, I'm not going to think he's terrible after this game, but Vrabel really had a, had this one. Yeah.

43:34Bill Simmons:Well, here's the thing. They're going to Buffalo next week on a Sunday night. and they're playing a Buffalo team that the defense just looked awful. And they've had some injuries. They have two guys suspended that haven't come back yet. But New Orleans was moving the ball up and down the field on them and was way more in that game than the final score showed. I had a 13-point tease with them that I was sweating out.

43:58Cousin Sal:I sweat that one out too, yeah.

44:00Bill Simmons:But I think they're going to be able to move the ball on them next week. I can't wait to guess that line because there's like a four-point cushion that I think that could go.

44:11Cousin Sal:Would you take 40-40 tie next Sunday night? He would take a 40-40 tie. Would not want the ties.

44:17Bill Simmons:Oh, stop. A couple more win-you-overs really quick. Did the Steelers win you over at all as a playoff team? Or do you think they're a rabbit team this year?

44:26Cousin Sal:I think just by default, because all these other – we just went over the AFC teams that are dropping out. But, yeah.

44:34Bill Simmons:Because they're 3-1 so they could go 6-8 and make the playoffs now. Or 6-7 and make the playoffs.

44:42Cousin Sal:Tomlin's streak seems to be intact, right, at this point? Oh, man.

44:46Bill Simmons:I mean, his clock management was some of the worst stuff of the season today. Right.

44:51Cousin Sal:Yeah, for sure. The not going for it on 4th and 1 and then taking a delay a game. It's like, what are you doing? What do you think they are to make the playoffs?

45:06Cousin Sal:plus 110 take a sip of water if you need minus 130 so they're favored now to be at least 9 and 8 or make the playoffs

45:16Bill Simmons:did you go under on them this year because I know I did

45:19Cousin Sal:yeah but barely I went under I thought this was a year it breaks

45:23Bill Simmons:I gotta hand it to what they're getting out of Rodgers they're maximizing the 3 or 4 things he can do and he looks way better than he did last year. He's just getting rid of the ball anytime he has pressure. They have eight, nine types of plays that they just do and it's all quick and he's getting rid of the ball. He's never on the move and they know how to use it. I think as the year goes long, I think people are going to figure it out. He's gelling

45:54Cousin Sal:with Metcalf better than I thought he would. All these receivers that he made the Jets bring in and everything, you didn't see that spark. I kind of see it with Metcalf.

46:04Bill Simmons:It's funny. It reminds me a little of Tua where it's just a certain type of thing. And I think as Tua, the longer he's been doing the Dolphins, teams are getting more and more used to it. And I just don't think they're used to it yet with Rodgers. The ball's coming out super fast. And it's always to the sides or right over the middle. And he's never... He's playing so differently than he used to play. Here's what I learned. this is what won me over. Don't bet on the overseas game. Just don't. House told me this on Thursday. We were doing it for Ringer 107 and House is like, I just want to point out we're betting on the 930 game and we've said we're not going to do that.

46:45Bill Simmons:I'm like, alright, but I really love the Vikings.

46:48Cousin Sal:Right. Well, I had the Steelers, so I'm not going to subscribe to that just yet.

46:53Bill Simmons:The other guillotine league that I'm in, we had Kenneth Gainwell on our bench. we don't have good running backs and woke up at 6.30 Justin you would have been proud of me I woke up turned on TV there was 14.55 left in the first quarter I was like I fucking nailed it it was like 6.33 and then they're like there's Kenneth Gainwell the starting running back because no Jalen Warren today and I was like and I just wonder how many people got hosed on the Jalen Warren thing because I got hosed by not putting Gainwell on our stupid guillotine thing but how many people just had Jalen Warren in a starting lineup and woke up and he's just not there.

47:29Cousin Sal:It's not good. It's not, yeah, there wasn't enough heads up Saturday night for sure. No, it was Saturday night now.

47:36Bill Simmons:All right. Next win you over. Did Ireland win you over as an NFL location?

47:42Cousin Sal:I don't know. I mean, we were doing the pregame show on YouTube. You should watch that. You should definitely start watching it.

47:50Bill Simmons:I 100 % watched it.

47:52Cousin Sal:I had multiple TVs I was watching. It is hard. We're up against the Ryder Cup in the NFL game. But so I didn't see a lot of the festivities. I'm going to have to pass on that. Well, they did.

48:05Bill Simmons:So here's what I really loved. Other than I thought the crowd was loud and engaged. Their version of Sweet Caroline in Ireland is Zombie by the Cranberries. Oh, really? The whole crowd sang Zombie. And then weirdly, after the Ryder Cup, they're in the bus, all the foreign team, European team. and they're singing zombie on the bus to Rory McIlroy. Shane Lowry's leading it. This is like the biggest day zombies had in 30 years. Yeah. Huge zombie day. Zombies make sense as like a crowd sign. I mean, if you read the lyrics, it's pretty depressing. It's a weird one to sing.

48:43Cousin Sal:Yeah. And you got the... Yeah. You got the crowd. Yeah. I can see it. They did a great job. I like that. That's better this week, Caroline. Yeah.

48:51Bill Simmons:The fantasy guys had a great time. did Puka Nakua win you over as the new best wide receiver in the league because I think it's official

48:59Cousin Sal:I think he has the belt here's what I'll say about 42 receptions in 4 games or something

49:05Bill Simmons:42 for 503 4 games

49:11Cousin Sal:I think I used to think McCaffrey is the one guy if he's not in the lineup I don't want anything to do with betting that team now I think league wide I think it's Puka Nakua Like if he's out, I don't know that any situation that I'd bet the Rams. This guy is just such a godsend for this team and Stafford. 42 receptions.

49:34Bill Simmons:You know what's crazy? It's all types of catches and plays. Like if you do like the montage of his, he'll beat somebody down the sideline. He'll have a crosser. He'll have a bubble screen. He'll have like a little 10-yarder in traffic. Like he's just amazing. I agree with you. right what's cool about him versus chaser jefferson is you feel like those guys aren't going to be the same if they have the backup qb and i think with puka i i honestly feel like with any qb he'd go for like eight for 90 at this point yeah he's just a monster he was awesome that game was awesome you mentioned the mitchell thing before uh the colts pass defense is going to be their achilles heel if they're going to actually make a playoff run it's really bad to give up an 88 yarder to lose the game basically.

50:22Bill Simmons:And their fans will remember that one as the Michigan.

50:25Cousin Sal:Jaden Daniels, obviously a much better athlete than Danny Dimes at this point. But the teams, the last year's Washington team and this year's Colts, Washington didn't punt for like three weeks, right? Remember last year? And the Colts punted once in the first three games. And you just wonder when that's going to end. You know, it was like it just, they had to be slapped around, even though they should have won today.

50:48Bill Simmons:it was a if you had the colts either money liner plus whatever like that was a pretty tough beat because they were they hung that was a 50 50 game uh i thought that taylor when on the holding penalty where they run that guy he's just so fucking fast he's never looked better or faster uh the mitchell touchdown was awesome right so you lose 14 points of plays that just swings it that was a lot of big plays go against them yep i will say i'm afraid of the colts like i'm i I didn't really – I had the Rams like in a – like a tease situation, but I don't really like betting against the Colts. They kind of scare me.

51:25Bill Simmons:I think Warren's terrifying. Yeah. He's going to score touchdowns from the backfield. It's not good. He's a monster. For other teams. Last one, win you over. Did Jackson Dart win you over at all? And did you watch the game today with any Giants fans? Oh, yeah.

51:41Cousin Sal:Oh, yeah. What was the take? Oh, they were losing their minds. Well, their takes was screaming at me for having the Chargers on a teaser, which I guess House and everybody warned us again. And then I doubled up on them in the second half. You didn't do that?

51:56Bill Simmons:No, I completely stayed away from the Chargers.

51:59Cousin Sal:Darts hurt, Neighbors is out, Neighbors is out, and Darts banging his hand against the helmets, not even one of the soft helmets. And then, you know, I was like, oh, man, they're down three. They're going to win this game. but that defense was much better than we've seen in the past. And Scadaboo, I see a ton of Scadaboo jerseys out here. Like, just in Brooklyn. Like, I think they like him more than, like, any prospect of Dart. Like, I don't even think they care if he gets, like, 700 yards and five touchdowns. He's the guy.

52:28Bill Simmons:Well, I mean, the first 45 minutes of that game for the Giants fans, that was, like, the greatest. And then, like, a neighbor's goes hurt. Yeah, that's a bummer. losing young Beckham and then losing young neighbors with season-ending injuries fucking sucks. It's like completely unfair because both at these awesome points in their career where it just seemed like every time they were throwing it up to him, it felt like anything was possible. The Giants just they've just had so much bad luck. But I do think Dart, even when he went out, he had this great scramble and they took him out for, I guess, the concussion spotter.

53:07Bill Simmons:and fucking Russ came in and you feel the crowd. It's like, oh no. Russ, like they just have to wave him. But no, it seems like they nailed the pick.

53:19Cousin Sal:Dable must be like, what? I got to put Russ in now. Shit, I'm never going to be able to figure out this quarterback gauntlet. I'm going to be jobless. James is like, I'm right here.

53:28Bill Simmons:Right here. Right. That draft though, because Carter was awesome today. He had 20 pressures of the Chargers. But that's a different conversation is the Chargers O-line all got hurt, which was the biggest injury that happened today other than neighbors. He's out for a few weeks, it seems like. They already lost sleep. It's an ankle injury. They said a few weeks already? They said they were worried that it was going to be at least a couple weeks, so who knows. But, you know, maybe that's the team. One of these teams, Colts, Chargers, one of these 3-0 teams, one of them not making the playoffs. I'm like, oh, it was 3-0.

54:05Cousin Sal:We can't give them the division just yet, like a lot of people were with the Chargers last week.

54:14Bill Simmons:All right, just some random questions from some of the other games. Philly, who died in the heat, and you could feel that one coming. That was a great second-half bet. They kept talking about the heat. They kept talking about how the Eagles bench was baking in the sun, and then cutting over, the guys are dying. so Baker almost came back but they just didn't have enough weapons Chase McLaughlin made a 65 yard field goal today in that game what distance would actually impress you at this point with a field goal because 20 years ago like I went to see the Broncos play in the late 90s with our buddy Gus and we saw Elam kick a 63 yarder and it was in altitude but it was like we just couldn't believe it It was like the fucking moon landing.

55:03Bill Simmons:I just couldn't believe how far it was. And now this is... So how far? Is it over 70 for you that would get your attention? What's the number? 72?

55:12Cousin Sal:That was the outdoor record, right? Today, 65 was the outdoor record. And you're right. We just moved on to the next one. It just wasn't...

55:20Bill Simmons:We wouldn't even be in the top 40 minutes of the SportsCenter. 70? With 70?

55:27Cousin Sal:I remember when Janikowski would do this, right? and you're like, oh, maybe they should take a false start. They're not winning any games this year anyway. Maybe they should take a false start right before the half and he should kick it from... Let him break the record. I think 71 or 72. I think we're in the Barry Bonds range here. It's got to be like...

55:46Bill Simmons:Aubrey will have a 70 at one point, right? Yeah.

55:50Cousin Sal:I think so. I just... I don't understand.

55:52Bill Simmons:I don't understand how this... I know they did something with the balls, right? They did... You can massage your own balls and put weird...

55:59Cousin Sal:Whoa, hey. Yeah, no, it seems like it for sure. You can tush push. You can massage your balls. You can do it all.

56:06Bill Simmons:Here's another one.

56:10Bill Simmons:So Bijan had a 69-yard catch today, and they made a big deal about how he was 21.85 miles an hour on the run. Right. And then that Steelers linebacker caught Addison from behind, and they were like, oh, he was 21.3. When did this start, and how could it end? When can this stop? Oh, you don't like it? You don't like that? I don't mean to be a fart in church on this, but the difference between 20 miles an hour and 21 miles an hour, I'm going to be telling my grandkids about, oh, I got to 22. I don't know.

56:46Cousin Sal:Who cares? You like it in your car though, right? You like the odometer? You like being able to tell how fast you're going?

56:53Bill Simmons:If I'm going 21 miles an hour in my car, I'm fucking pissed. there's some old lady in front of me.

56:58Cousin Sal:I thought it was cool with the Eagles blocking the kick. I didn't think it was cool because I lost money on it with the Rams. But the fact that they clocked that guy at 19. So for 300 pounders running 19, yeah, but you're right. Otherwise, I don't know the difference between 20 and 21.

57:14Bill Simmons:Just when you're driving around the next couple days in Uber, just like, oh, 36. Oh, now we're going 37. These numbers are all around the same. Yeah. Like if somebody was going 25, I'd be like, hold, B. John Robinson ran 25 miles an hour? That's amazing. But it seems like it's all in the 21, 22. I don't know. Maybe I'm too old.

57:35Cousin Sal:I think we have to be, I don't know like what an ostrich runs. I want to compare it to animals. I think then maybe we'd be more impressed, you know? Oh, like show like a bobcat? Yeah, like a cheetah or a bobcat. I want to see. Or like a black bear? They call Tyreek the cheetah, right? But it's a cheetah's probably a lot faster, isn't it? I would assume. I think a cheat is like 50 miles an hour. Yeah.

57:58Bill Simmons:Well, I mean, so they do the miles an hour thing, but... But heat is more interesting to me because they were like, it's 90, but it's really 100 degrees on the field. It's like, well, how hot is it exactly on the field? And that's where instead of Mike Pereira, let's go to some sort of scientist and be like, okay, Jordan Davis is 330 pounds. It's 100 degrees outside. So the odds of him being dehydrated in two hours is actually like 90%. What they're going to have to do is give him oxygen. Like now I'm actually learning something.

58:31Cousin Sal:I like that.

58:32Bill Simmons:You're telling me the difference between this guy runs 22 miles an hour and this guy runs 21 and a half. Like, great. What do I care?

58:39Cousin Sal:Yeah. Bill Simmons' water is 108 degrees. If he throws a lemon in there, it goes down 104.5.

58:45Bill Simmons:See, I'm drinking hot water and I have a lot of energy for the pod. Maybe I know something. More Washington Falcons notes. I won money in the Falcons, and their offense looked great. They scored zero points last week. They had 435 yards this week. Washington is banged up. I think Penix is the new Gino because I feel like we're about to lose Gino feels like we're the end of Gino's career

59:07Cousin Sal:we lost Gino

59:09Bill Simmons:Gino's gone but I think Penix is going to be the new Gino where game to game it's just going to be like fucking it's like when we go to Bianco's and he's like I've created a new pizza I'm just going to bring it out it's like anything's possible oh this is like your olive artichoke pizza I don't know if I like this oh my god he did pepperoni and sun-dried tomatoes. Right. I just think that's Penix. I think that's who it is.

59:33Cousin Sal:I bet on Bianco much faster than I do Penix. I mean, I had it today, too. I don't blame you. This is the most effed-up team, maybe even for years now, right? Like, they – all right, the first game was legit. The kicker missed a field goal, and we're used to that, right? They lost to Tampa Bay. Then they beat up Minnesota on the night game, the Sunday night. Shut out by Carolina. You just get a completely different team every week.

59:55Bill Simmons:Yeah. You just have to assume they're the zigzag team.

1:00:00Cousin Sal:they should call him the pits because it's like the drama of when to start Kyle Pitts, it's the new drama the pits scored a touchdown

1:00:10Bill Simmons:he's been doing stuff this season the funniest thing with the Falcons is Washington scores to cut it to 7 Falcons come back down and now they're in the mode where it's like they can either go for the kill get a touchdown or probably settle take it easy, kick a field goal it's like 3 minutes left less so they play it easy and they're playing for a field goal and because it's the Falcons you just assume something horrible is going to happen and I was trying to think of any other team maybe the Chargers and the AFC is like that because they have that juju too but I was just like this is definitely getting blocked this is going to be a tie game your mind with the Falcons goes to the worst case at all times this time they kicked the field goal they won but weren't you thinking the same thing?

1:00:53Bill Simmons:it's the Falcons they're going to fuck this up

1:00:54Cousin Sal:and they also look so much faster I know you don't like speed or anything, but don't they look faster at home on their turf? Like I see Bichon and I see London. I'm like, these guys should be scoring every single game. Instead, they settle for field goals and with guys they cut two weeks later. I wish we knew how fast each guy was going. You hate that. It's going to be a Madden rating soon enough.

1:01:14Bill Simmons:Could Darnell Mooney get to 20 miles an hour? I'm on the edge of my seat. Tell me later. A couple more quick things. Flacco has six picks. The Browns are pretty boring to watch offensively, even though they have some decent weapons because that Judkins guy might actually be good. Can they just make Shadora the starter for content? Like, do that for us? Like, we all need it. The daily TV shows need it. The podcasts need it. It gives, like, anecdotally, we have stuff. Like, just do it. I have to see how fast he runs first.

1:01:47Cousin Sal:No, I think you're right. Yeah, for sure. Can you get to, like, 19 miles an hour? If you can get to 19 miles an hour, we'll give you the ball. You get the game ball. He should race Joe Flacco. Flacco was weird because his first two starts, he dropped back like 90 times, right? Like, oh, we're going to see like a poor man's Baker Mayfield here, right? And maybe it'll work and maybe it won't. But yeah, if they're not scoring in Detroit or against these other teams, it's not good.

1:02:13Bill Simmons:Well, that's the other thing with the miles an hour. They never do it for the slow guys.

1:02:17Cousin Sal:Right.

1:02:18Bill Simmons:Like Flacco chasing down somebody in interceptions. Like Flacco, 13 miles an hour, pretty rough. that would be funny

1:02:24Cousin Sal:they gotta do that

1:02:24Bill Simmons:people in their 80s do that yeah oh Pat's Panthers is my last thing for you so remember we did this we've done this the last couple years where we try to figure out what's gonna be the weirdest result of this season like at the end of the year when we're like what happened that what was that I think it might be Panthers 30 Falcons 0 I think is gonna go down as the weirdest game right

1:02:50Cousin Sal:yeah I think so too right Right. It's going to be a tough one to beat. The Panthers will end up with what? Four or five wins? And the Falcons should be around seven or eight or nine? Yeah, I think you're right.

1:03:01Bill Simmons:The Panthers, I think it's going to be less than that. The other one was, who did the Browns 13, Packers 10 might be up there too. We should keep track of this.

1:03:10Cousin Sal:I don't know. That's the last time the Packers didn't give up 50 points. Maybe.

1:03:16Bill Simmons:Who do you like in Dolphins, Jets, and Broncos Bengals tomorrow?

1:03:20Cousin Sal:you know I have I let the bundle pick for our ringer 107 so we have the Bengals plus the points but I'd be lying to you if I didn't say Denver on a couple money line parlays to close out right and then the other one I really don't know I'm really not sure what the this is a this spells someone could get fired maybe not coach mystery pizza game someone's getting demoted and a pizza slapped in their face from this game.

1:03:51Bill Simmons:Remember when Bianco brought out that market pizza and it was like the greatest thing either of us had ever eaten? What was it? That's what the corn? It was like all these vegetables on it. And it was like, we were just like, it was like descended from the gods. I don't think Dolphins Jets is going to be like that. All right, we're going to take a break and then we're going to get against the Lions. Then we have to, a couple other things too. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, Everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes, yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory.

1:04:26Bill Simmons:Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady calculated money moves and the financial wins just keep coming. PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865. Brilliantly boring since 1865 as a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated, PNC Bank, National Association, member, FDIC. This episode is brought to you by TikTok. Did you know you can use TikTok to connect even more with the sports you love? It's not just highlights, it's everything around the game, including the sports community. Find breakdowns of classic basketball plays, deep dives on baseball stats, even videos on how athletes train and recover.

1:05:08Bill Simmons:There are people teaching strategy, sports, history, even ways to improve your jump shot. It's kind of like the biggest locker room ever and everyone's sharing what they know on TikTok. All right, guess the lines. Bye weeks, Pittsburgh, Atlanta, Chicago, Green Bay. We're finally at the bye week. You're already getting sad that the season's almost over. We're only four weeks in. Yeah, a little bit.

1:05:28Cousin Sal:They don't need byes. Come on, everybody play every week for 12 months.

1:05:33Bill Simmons:Well, the problem with this one is we're losing a couple of entertaining teams this week. Yeah. You can feel it in the lineup. So Thursday night, Rams-Niners, good Thursday night game. That is a good one. In Los Angeles. And I have the Rams by three.

1:05:53Cousin Sal:So this is two NFC West in a row on Thursday night. You have three. You're going to get this. I had two and a half. I believe it's three and a half unless it changed. It's three and a half.

1:06:06Bill Simmons:we should mention you won the first two weeks i won the next two weeks i know you're gonna win

1:06:10Cousin Sal:this week i'm so off i think so my miles per hour way down this week probably the pizza yeah

1:06:19Bill Simmons:how much pizza have you had in brooklyn how many days have you been there uh got here uh friday

1:06:25Cousin Sal:night there's a place a half mile away that's excellent and they're open till 1 a.m so that's bad for me. Then went to Grimaldi's yesterday and then walking back, our friend Tony says, holy shit, there's an L &B right across the street from Grimaldi's. So we did the bang-bang. And so, yeah, it's a lot. Then I had another slice this morning. Yeah, it's not good. You may not see me again. This could be it.

1:06:52Bill Simmons:Hey, there's a London game. The Vikings. They lost to Pittsburgh and they were told you can't leave now. You have to stay. We're taking your passports. And they're playing the Cleveland Browns who can't really move the ball offensively.

1:07:10Cousin Sal:Right.

1:07:12Bill Simmons:But I think Carson Wentz is probably playing again. This is either three or three and a half. I went back and forth. I did Vikings minus three.

1:07:19Cousin Sal:All right. I got it exact. I hit it three and a half is the answer. It went down from four and a half, actually. This is rough. This is a rough one.

1:07:30Bill Simmons:Defense is good. Like the Browns defense, if it's Carson Wentz again with all those guys, if the center is missing and the right tackle is missing on the Vikings D, that's going to be a lot of trouble for them because that Browns front four is beastie.

1:07:43Cousin Sal:It's tough on the West Coast waking up for two bad quarterbacks, isn't it? Like if it's going to be Wentz and Flacco again.

1:07:51Bill Simmons:That's why you got to do this is when you do Shador this week. Yeah. Or even Dylan Gabriel. We could be like, oh, look how short he is. Sunday marquee I I have Seahawks Bucks as the best Sunday game It's good It's a good game Here's the case Every game the Bucks play It goes down to the final three minutes Baker's really fun I think Bucky Irving is a top five running back now Tremendous

1:08:24Cousin Sal:Such a great burst for him

1:08:26Bill Simmons:He's fucking incredible and I like watching the Seahawks defense I'm going to put this is in Seattle I'm going to say Seattle minus one and a half

1:08:35Cousin Sal:oh it's Seattle minus three and what did I have you moved it on me oh I had one and a half also so we tie

1:08:46Bill Simmons:so it's Seattle minus three

1:08:48Cousin Sal:Seattle minus three

1:08:52Bill Simmons:so Seattle's finally getting some respect

1:08:54Cousin Sal:yeah I guess it's a long it's a shorter or longer rest for them Tampa Bay still injuries. They are unbelievable. They had two gigantic... How long were both their touchdowns? So long. And then two of the longest field goals we've ever seen. And they were right back in that game. I was kind of getting mad. I had the Eagles.

1:09:14Bill Simmons:We both loved Ekbuka. It was the only player prop bet I made was over. And it was like 680 yards or something. I probably have that by mid-October. Two watchables. Not a good sign for us for Sunday. Eagles-Broncos in Philadelphia. I mean, honestly, the Eagles might be banned from the watchables category if they don't get their shit together. You can't have a game where you have zero completions in the second half. Four, no. Their fans are just furious constantly. It's like they have to have the game get to where somebody has a 17-point lead before they're interested in whatever the proceedings are.

1:09:58Cousin Sal:Can I make a, this is going to sound like bitter sound. It really, really is. There's no other way to describe it. If you're going for the tush push, you should have to declare you're going for the tush push. It shouldn't be an option that you could flip it back to the tailback who has nothing but daylight and runs it in. It should be like the onside kick. We're going to let this lunacy fly. I didn't like that. I like it.

1:10:23Bill Simmons:Well, this line could move depending on how the Broncos look tomorrow night. But for the short term, it's in Philadelphia. And I have Eagles by four.

1:10:32Cousin Sal:We split it. I said five. It's four and a half. Come on, Denver. Play tough. Play tough here.

1:10:40Bill Simmons:Pretty important Bo Nix game tomorrow night. Yeah. Because if he sucks again, that's an entire month of him sucking. and then going into the Spillie game. Yeah, right. The stat that he, what was he, 35 out of 36 for the graded quarterbacks? Yeah, not great. The only other watchable game I have, which might not be watchable if Mariota's the QB, is Chargers-Washington in L.A. And I have the Chargers favored by three and a half because I assume he was just playing.

1:11:12Cousin Sal:I went way high. I said five. I didn't even think about the Daniels thing. In my mind, he's out another week, but I guess he was almost ready Wednesday. You get it. It's three. Chargers by three.

1:11:24Bill Simmons:This will be a nice little test for how many Chargers, like our theory that the Chargers crowds are getting better. Yeah. Because Washington, old school NFC team, there's a lot of transplants here. I'll be interested to see what the breakdown is. But I've been impressed by the Chargers fan base.

1:11:41Cousin Sal:Yeah, they could step up even further this week.

1:11:45Bill Simmons:Fairly watchables. I had to put Colts Raiders in here because you just know that game's going to be absolutely unhinged. I'm prepared for anything. I had to put it in the Vegas zone. Colts 5.5.

1:12:00Cousin Sal:I said 4.5. It's 6.5, so you'll get that one. I don't know. I know we buried Gino here, but could you see this stupid shit here?

1:12:12Bill Simmons:I think this is where he needs to be. getting almost a touchdown on the road is when he finally gets his sea legs.

1:12:19Cousin Sal:Right.

1:12:20Bill Simmons:He doesn't like these games where they're either favored or they're minus one and a half. He needs to be like a dog. Yeah. I think this is a let's be careful, do not put the Colts in a tease game would be my recommendation. I'm with you. Be careful on this one.

1:12:32Cousin Sal:I hope I stick to that. I think, you know, maybe Crosby like plants Danny Dimes, Indiana Jones, whatever we want to call him now, a couple times. Yeah.

1:12:44Bill Simmons:maybe he's like South Indiana Jones. Ravens home for the Texans with a bunch of injuries on the Ravens side. And Houston's defense threw a shutout today. Now, you said that counts in our league. I didn't see points for it.

1:13:03Cousin Sal:Well, you start with 13 points. What, you want a bonus also? We're playing each other in fantasy. Yeah, I should get a bonus. If my defense gets a shutout, I should get more points. Not against the Titans. That's not it. That's hardly even.

1:13:17Bill Simmons:There's like 10 shutouts. Is there five shutouts a year? How many bonus points do you want? I think it should be like four points.

1:13:23Cousin Sal:Oh, it's a close game too. We have a close game.

1:13:27Bill Simmons:What do we have tomorrow? I think you're going to win anyway. I have Tyreek Hill and you have two people. I have, I do have two people.

1:13:36Cousin Sal:Sorry, let me pull it up here.

1:13:38Bill Simmons:Riveting content for this. This is almost as, can you do this as we figure out how fast you run?

1:13:43Cousin Sal:All right, you're up 11. You're going to win. How am I favored here? You're up 11. You have Tyreek Hill. I have HN and Garrett Wilson. Oh, you're going to win. You're favored? I'm favored. They have HN projected for 16 points. That's stupid. Stop it, CBS.

1:14:03Bill Simmons:Ravens, Texans in Baltimore have Ravens minus four. Wait, what did we say?

1:14:08Cousin Sal:Oh, Ravens minus four. Okay. Yeah, I said five and a half.

1:14:11Bill Simmons:It's seven. I don't agree with that at all

1:14:17Cousin Sal:well now it's a must win shit they're both 1-3

1:14:21Bill Simmons:the Texans have a good defense though as ugly as their offense is their defense can hang around last one is Lions-Bengals it's in Detroit and I think I think they add the half point on this I was going to say 7 but I think they bump it I think it's 7.5

1:14:41Cousin Sal:I was way, way off on this. It's eight and a half. I said five and a half. So you said seven and a half? Yeah, you got it.

1:14:55Bill Simmons:Four perfecta games. Yep. Giants at Saints with no neighbors. It's a bad one. And yet, I think it might make a multi-view for me. Has anyone planted their flag on the Saints are fun corner? because they were fun in this Buffalo game.

1:15:13Cousin Sal:That's all you. You could have that one. You know, I thought that too. I mean, you said they went up and down the field. How many passing yards do you think Rattler had? Was it an optical illusion? What was it? 126. 126. And they were playing catch-up the whole time. How many did they rush for? I don't know. I think Kamara had a decent day. But to say that, like Rattler, I don't get the team that I'm watching there.

1:15:38Bill Simmons:Yeah. I mean, in my defense, I'm watching six TVs at once. Right. And every time I looked on the right TV, it seemed like they were moving the ball. They were getting closer, yeah. Jets, Cowboys.

1:15:48Cousin Sal:I don't think we did the Giants.

1:15:50Bill Simmons:Giants, Giants. I have Giants one and a half.

1:15:53Cousin Sal:Oh, you jerk. Son of a bitch. I had Giants by two. It is one and a half. It is that tic-tac. Tic-tac. Well, if they're going to win one game, the Saints, this has got to be it. Isn't it?

1:16:06Bill Simmons:this should be one of the ones you have circled

1:16:08Cousin Sal:I don't think they're favored in any other game not that they're favored in this one but this has got to be the closest

1:16:14Bill Simmons:Giants pass rush, Skadabo has Damer Sheck tried to pronounce his name yet? Skadabo Skadabo and then in a Jackson Dart scramble I think that's enough for the Giants I wouldn't bet that game Jets home for the Cowboys Wow So I'll keep my guess I don't know if the Cowboys tonight swung it But I had Jets minus one and a half

1:16:40Cousin Sal:No I think you were Yeah I had Cowboys minus one and a half It's two and a half

1:16:47Bill Simmons:Cowboys Favorite I should have changed that But I was trying to keep what I had before Cowboys two and a half

1:16:56Cousin Sal:Wow we tied that game I was just about to go through my We lost we're coming off a loss but we tied. We actually tied that game tonight. Holy shit.

1:17:05Bill Simmons:It was like a moral victory for Jerry. This is another poopfecta game. Dolphins-Panthers in Carolina.

1:17:17Bill Simmons:I think the Dolphins have to be favored by three and that's where I landed.

1:17:21Cousin Sal:That's exactly what I have and I'm looking. They're favored by one and a half. Oh, how the Miamis have fallen. that is brutal that's the worst team in the league and they're favored by one and a half over them

1:17:38Bill Simmons:McMillan was open a lot against the Pats today and Bryce did not find him that often and he was starting to get that Larry Fitzgerald early 2010's body language remember when Fitzgerald had bad quarterbacks for like five years in a row he used to be open and then the ball would sail that way there was a couple of those with McMillan today and he was like oh my god really last poop fact the cards Titans in Arizona and amazingly this has to go over seven and I think it I think it has to be seven and a half for Arizona

1:18:11Cousin Sal:man I was way off on this I said five and a half I was not impressed with Arizona it's nine and a half

1:18:18Bill Simmons:yeah I think I think that's the price for the Titans that's too high though Arizona should not be favored by that many against anybody

1:18:27Cousin Sal:that's unbelievable I mean it's just they don't trust the kid on the road? Is that it? I mean, Kyler was not impressive for two hours and 20 minutes of that game.

1:18:38Bill Simmons:I saw there was something online about Ryan Clark five years ago was arguing about Kyler Murray versus Lamar Jackson. Oh, wow. And he was like way in on Kyler Murray. And he was like, let me tell you something. Kyler Murray will win a Super Bowl before Lamar Jackson. Mark my words. It was all in. And I was thinking like, that's a bad one to have, but we all have those. Sure. Those ones where it's like, what? And it's like, oh my God, I can't believe. What's your worst one? Because that's got to be his worst one.

1:19:08Cousin Sal:You know, I said, Bill is too manly to ever drink hot water with a lemon. And now I look freaking foolish. I don't know. That's a good question. Just like saying a player is going to be great. He didn't turn out.

1:19:23Bill Simmons:Because I have some bad ones in print. I guess we could just go to Reddit.

1:19:26Cousin Sal:We could just go to Reddit and find out.

1:19:29Bill Simmons:I was trying to think what's my single worst one, but I think since I've been on video, I think it's James Wiseman that that was a great pick for the Warriors and really liking that pick. I think that might be my single worst one.

1:19:44Cousin Sal:It might be a basketball. Yeah, it'll have to be a basketball one.

1:19:46Bill Simmons:This would be a great podcast where each episode, somebody just comes in and they go over their most regrettable take they've ever had.

1:19:54Cousin Sal:Right, right. I like that. Did James Wiseman win you over? My James Wiseman pick.

1:20:00Bill Simmons:I had a borderline talking about Mac Jones, but I didn't really come out and say it.

1:20:05Cousin Sal:I was going to say that for you.

1:20:06Bill Simmons:I thought he was skirting that he was a possible MVP candidate if they were good, but we always say that anytime we think so. You didn't buy the jersey.

1:20:15Cousin Sal:You didn't buy the jersey, so you held back.

1:20:18Bill Simmons:I think Wiseman is my least favorite one.

1:20:21Cousin Sal:Yeah. I have to think of mine.

1:20:23Bill Simmons:All time, I've had some worse, though, in the column.

1:20:26Cousin Sal:Would it be basketball? but most of them would be basketball mostly basketball

1:20:29Bill Simmons:like draft ones there was a Dame Lillard Austin Rivers one that was pretty bad but they should take an Austin Rivers there was like there was an Emeka Okafor versus Dwight Howard I think I took team Okafor yeah

1:20:44Cousin Sal:it's alright we talk a lot about this stuff we're not gonna bat a thousand it's like saying I never had a bad meal what was the worst meal you ever had like oh yeah you have to eat it's gonna happen

1:20:57Bill Simmons:Sunday night Bills Patriots in Buffalo let's do it let's fucking go I really think the Pats can hang in this game I think they're going to jack the line I think this is going to be Bills minus eight and a half

1:21:10Cousin Sal:wow look at you go Bills minus eight and a half is right I said seven I thought they put it in that good you know decent difference between division foes but it had to be seven, but eight and a half is, that's up there. Do you think it's fair?

1:21:33Bill Simmons:No, I think, I don't think the Bills, I think that's a lot of like people that haven't watched the two teams the last couple of weeks. Pats have a good special teams. Pats can block. Pats defense is okay. I didn't like how open McMillan was, but you know, you're on a Sunday night against Josh Allen. It's a pretty tall task, but I think they can hang around in that game. more because of the Bills. Think about Bills opening week against Baltimore where Baltimore is 1-3 and then go through all Detroit like they couldn't stop them. I don't think their defense can... I just don't think their defense is good.

1:22:07Cousin Sal:I don't want to read into this one too much. The Saints is tough to get up for.

1:22:13Bill Simmons:Cook is... Cook's turned into a monster too. I wouldn't have him top five but probably top seven, top eight range for running backs.

1:22:21Cousin Sal:He's fun. He moves the chains. There's no more chains anymore, but he moves them.

1:22:25Bill Simmons:You think he can get to 21 miles an hour? I haven't checked. I have to see. Does he have like a 21 and a half in him, maybe?

1:22:33Cousin Sal:That tush push for Hertz was only 0.4 miles an hour. What a fun football.

1:22:40Bill Simmons:Monday night, really good game. Probably the best game of the Sunday Monday. Chiefs at Jags. Nice little tester for the Jags. 3-1, Chiefs 2-2. The Chiefs are obviously going to be favored. And I put this in the Tic Tac Zone. The Chiefs minus one and a half.

1:22:56Cousin Sal:Yeah, I said three and a half. It is three.

1:22:59Bill Simmons:Oh, you win that one.

1:23:01Cousin Sal:You won the week, though. That was seven for me and like ten for you. Three in a row. Not good. Chiefs minus three. That's a little high. We're going to take Jacksonville on a teaser?

1:23:15Bill Simmons:I'm just saying that's a little high. Yeah.

1:23:19Cousin Sal:It's reactionary for sure.

1:23:20Bill Simmons:Interesting that the Chiefs were plus two and a half against Baltimore at home. But now they're minus three at Jacksonville. But I don't think Baltimore is better than Jacksonville right now, do you?

1:23:34Cousin Sal:Right. No, I don't. I will say if they're thriving with the turnover, Jacksonville, Mahomes is a little smarter. And I know some of these can be freak turnovers, but Mahomes is a little smarter and more careful. You don't see him knocking free turnovers.

1:23:50Bill Simmons:Yeah, you bet the Jags, and then at some point you realize you bet Trevor Lawrence over Patrick Mahomes. Yeah, right. And you feel really stupid.

1:23:59Cousin Sal:Mm-hmm. Yeah. All right, just stay away.

1:24:01Bill Simmons:All right. Damn. Let's take one more break, and then we got to talk about baseball and Ryder Cup and Brooklyn Quick. Mm-hmm. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. On the court, the pitch, the track, even the pool, professional athletes show extraordinary physical flexibility. For us normal people, we've got PayPal's flexible monthly payment plans. Pay nothing at checkout, then enjoy a flexible monthly payment plan that works for you with no sign up or late fees. And it's available millions of stores. Pay monthly with PayPal. Subject to approval, pay monthly consumer loans made by WebBank. Available through PayPal Inc.

1:24:38Bill Simmons:NMLS 910457. Learn more at paypal.com slash pay monthly. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I already have my dream job. I run the ringer, argue with Chris Ryan, AKSCR. But even dream jobs have not so dreamy parts. You know, the work that slows you down never seems to go away. That's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They're like digital teammates who actually do the job start to finish. No handoffs, no homework. That means more time for the work that actually matters, which for me is talking about whether the 86 Celtics can beat the 96 Bulls, which they could. To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com.

1:25:18Bill Simmons:All right, baseball. So the murder of the Mets season, they were just, it was like while you were sleeping and the Mets were just Peter Gallagher waiting to wake up and the Mets fans were going there every day to go see him and then the Mets just died.

1:25:33Cousin Sal:I didn't see the movie. There was no happy ending. Not watching it. Yeah. It sucked. I mean, just the way it all went down, and you let the Marlins beat you and shut you out, and they take a team picture like they just won the NLCS. It was disgusting. It's not how I thought it would go. I thought we would blow out the Marlins today, and the Reds would win in the last inning, and then the Cowboys would get killed, and that would be my day. It said the Mets lost and the Cowboys tied. Yeah, right. I wonder what that would have paid. I mean, they were almost the first team to have a losing record after being 20-plus games over 500.

1:26:09Cousin Sal:It's one of the most disappointing seasons of my life here. Especially with Soto, 43 homers, 105. He almost had 40 stolen bases. Pete, 38. Where is it? We have one pitcher with 10-plus wins. And I get it where teams, if you root for the Pirates, that they never spend money. But there's something to be said about a team that spends$341 million. I know you get to watch great players perform well sometimes. but when you never win a World Series, it feels like that attempt to compete is futile, right? How much would we have to spend? I hate it. I hate it all.

1:26:51Bill Simmons:40 years for you. Yeah.

1:26:55Cousin Sal:Yeah, 86. It'll be 40.

1:26:57Bill Simmons:The thing is, if they made the playoffs, do you think they would have won four straight rounds and won the World Series? No, so that was the thing.

1:27:02Cousin Sal:So going into the weekend, I'm like, what are we going to do? Win three against the Marlins and then two out of three against... We're going to win five out of six in the next week. So, yeah, it's probably better just to not watch them.

1:27:15Bill Simmons:Well, my team made it.

1:27:17Cousin Sal:You're psyched.

1:27:18Bill Simmons:Which makes no sense because we traded our best player and then our new best player, who is fucking awesome, Roman Anthony, gets hurt, misses the last month of the season. I don't think he's going to be available for... It certainly doesn't seem like he's going to be available this week. I think Hench said we've used 35 pitchers. Wow. We had 10 of the worst losses you can imagine and somehow finished 89 and 73. And now we're playing the Yankees. And we have Crochet, who's an absolute fucking beast, who's the best pitcher in the American League.

1:27:57Cousin Sal:I'm surprised you're an underdog. I'm looking at that now. You're an underdog in that game?

1:28:02Bill Simmons:In game one, we're an underdog?

1:28:04Cousin Sal:Yeah. he's plus 112 oh wow Max Freed yeah

1:28:10Bill Simmons:um I think the key is if they can if they can win game one and it's just a crochet and Chapman game and they don't use Whitlock and they can save Whitlock for game two I think they can win the series if they have to use all those guys for game one I think that gets really tough and then Baio hasn't looked as good the last um I would say the last probably month or so he's the game two guy the Yankees have more talent. I mean, the Red Sox have just lost too many people. I just wish we had Anthony. If we had Anthony, I would be like, heads up.

1:28:43Cousin Sal:But a lot of these don't go three games, you know? They just go the two. So this is so huge, Crochet. I'm really surprised that he's an underdog. And like, you know, I say to JJ, John Jastrzemski, who's a Yankee fan, I'm like, is it really a home? The Yankees have home field advantage much anymore? Like, bro, I'd much rather play this game in Yankee Stadium I'm like, yeah, yeah, no, I get it. But I think this is definitely a winnable game for you, game one.

1:29:11Bill Simmons:Well, they're starting two lefties in a row. And I actually like when we go against lefties.

1:29:20Bill Simmons:That Schlittler really scares me. I'm kind of hoping we don't see him. Have you seen him?

1:29:25Cousin Sal:Yeah, a little bit of him, yeah.

1:29:29Bill Simmons:Hench and I had him on our AL Keeper team, too. He was a legitimate stud. I thought for sure they would pitch him at home in game two, but maybe the days rested and worked. So they got Radon is doing game two against Bayou. Anyway, I already have my guard up because the Yankees, I just think, have a better team. And if the Red Sox lose, we just point to the Devers trade and Anthony being hurt and Kostas got hurt in the first month of the season. and we're like, ah. But if we beat them, it's so embarrassing for them. Oh, yeah. With like Ref Snyder. I mean, it's like Nathaniel Lowe who basically picked up off waivers playing first base.

1:30:15Bill Simmons:Like that would be a crazy loss by them.

1:30:17Cousin Sal:You're in great shape if you win that first game. Yeah, Yankees minus 178 for the series.

1:30:22Bill Simmons:Who do you think is going to win the World Series?

1:30:27Cousin Sal:You know what? I'm going to say...

1:30:31Bill Simmons:Or am I stepping on your Tuesday podcast?

1:30:34Cousin Sal:No, yeah. Let me think about it. But it's still going to take, even though their relief pitching is really faltered, it's going to take a lot to knock the Dodgers off, I think. I don't think they have the relievers. I don't think they have the relievers. Yeah. Everybody goes two innings, though, on these. Remember, you're looking at different baseball here. I mean, what the Tigers did, it would have been so much better if there were no wild cards. That would have been maybe the biggest collapse of our life. They were up 10, 12 games at the end of August. I know.

1:31:05Bill Simmons:I thought the best team I saw, the best team the Red Sox played all year was the Padres. Just from like watching them. And they just kept bringing these guys in and threw 100 miles an hour. They lost one of them after we played them. But I was...

1:31:18Cousin Sal:You talk about speed. That's something that we're not. You asked like what kind of kick would impress me. guys throw 102 now and we don't even the broadcasters don't even mention it at all

1:31:32Bill Simmons:yeah the Sox they have the best starter in the series they have a really good setup guy and a really good closer but I don't trust the lineup I'd be surprised if they beat the Yanks even with the crochet piece but I'm excited to have baseball It's fun. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. You've been in a couple years. Yeah. I like that it's three in a row, too. Four games. It's coming out at 3 o 'clock there. Are you going to be able to see anything, or you're there for Jimmy's show?

1:32:04Cousin Sal:Yeah, I'm there. Someone offered me tickets. I'm not watching those dumb teams. But, yeah, you get the Dodgers and Red Sox. Yankees get the night slots Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.

1:32:16Bill Simmons:How much Ryder Cup did you follow?

1:32:19Cousin Sal:A lot until today. I really didn't watch. I was so like, you know, I bet Europe. I listen to House. House is going to pretend he's upset about the Americans. He had Europe. He's so not upset. He had so much Europe money. Have you ever had a friend like a bet for so long and it worked? Like I think in February he was talking about Europe winning the Ryder Cup.

1:32:38Bill Simmons:He kept putting more on it. It was like listening to somebody who loved AI stock in like 2020 who just kept buying more of it. Right. Yeah, and then he had to pretend he was really upset that America choked. So I didn't have it on. I had the six games on. Yeah. It was actually seven, but I had a split screen. And didn't have the rider on until, I don't know, at some point it was like, hey, I think my dad texted me. So then I put it on. And there was a moment where it seemed like they really had a chance. Like when Henley was up one heading into the 18th. Right. And it felt like he was going to just take it.

1:33:18Bill Simmons:And everything else is pretty even. and you start doing the math, they're like, holy shit. But then Shane Lowry. My biggest problem with the Ryder Cup is most of my favorite golfers were on the European side. Yeah, which I think a lot of people feel that way. I love Roy McIlroy. I really like Shane Lowry. They can't get dual citizenship. I like John Rahm. Yeah. I even like Victor Hovland. But the only guy I really liked in the American team is J.J. Spahn.

1:33:45Cousin Sal:Yeah. He's your favorite American golfer. Well, Scotty's so much fun to watch. He's all right. He's fine.

1:33:53Bill Simmons:I didn't really like him on Friday and Saturday when he went 0 for 4. Thomas was good. Thomas had a good one.

1:33:57Cousin Sal:You would have gotten killed betting Scheffler Friday and Saturday. He was like minus 180, but it wasn't always his fault with the pairings, but that's where all the money went for sure.

1:34:08Bill Simmons:Oh, my favorite guy, Fleetwood. That was another guy on the European team. Yeah, he likes Fleetwood. So I was pushing again. I didn't end up betting anything on it. The fans were brutal.

1:34:18Cousin Sal:I had no idea. I read afterwards what they're doing to Rory. And Rory going into the weekend was good-natured. Remember that heckler was like, hey, Rory. He was like buttoning his shirt. He's like, Rory, you don't need a button to choke. And he's like, oh, good one. And he laughed. And by the end, he's like, fuck you. These guys are all looking at these guys. Shane Lowry.

1:34:36Bill Simmons:They're screaming fuck off at everybody.

1:34:38Cousin Sal:Like a big bear screaming at these fans. And then, yeah, it's, yeah, I don't think it's, I was saying like people are like, oh, no, you have to have so much money to enter these events. You're not going to get the wise-ass typical New Yorker, but yeah, you did. Yeah. There's wise-asses that got lucky with hedge funds. That's all it is. Just they have enough money and just screaming their heads off. Well,

1:35:00Bill Simmons:you know what the great equalizer was, was alcohol. Oh yeah. Like maybe they weren't wise-asses at nine in the morning. Right. Baby doll went, our, speaking of, our beloved. He was there on Saturday and left early. I couldn't find out if he helicoptered in and out.

1:35:18Cousin Sal:I think he just rode the smoke from his cigarettes over. Yeah. That's a good question. No, well, he lives like 20 minutes from there.

1:35:26Bill Simmons:Okay. So he drove it?

1:35:27Cousin Sal:Yeah. Yeah.

1:35:28Bill Simmons:Baby, I helicoptered anyway. Before we do Parent Corner, should we do Agent Corner after Parent Corner or do we want to do Parent Corner first? Are we really going to... Is that going to be our bombshell? The Agent Corner? Yeah, we'll do a bombshell later. Today's Parent Corner brought to you by Scout Motors. less screen time, more doing, making, building, exploring. Scout Motors is creating for the next generation. Enter the Scout Tare and Scout Traveler engineer for a future that's hands-on, a little muddy, with advanced four-wheel drive, available locking differentials, optional 35-inch tires, and a projected 1 ,000-pound feet of torque.

1:36:02Bill Simmons:They'll give playtime a whole new meaning. Join the wait list at scoutmotors.com. What do you have?

1:36:08Cousin Sal:All right, I'm getting my hair cut the other day, and this guy, Graham, good guy, cuts my hair. He cuts Harrison's hair, too, and Jag, my son's, and Archie when he's around. And he says to me, he's like, hey, I hear Harrison wants to be a Cowboys fan. I was like, what? He's like, yeah, he's going to be a Cowboys fan. I'm like, oh, holy shit. I was really stunned by this. Because he was always like whoever won the Chiefs when he was young, seven or eight. Now he's 12. He really hasn't. It's all fantasy. But this year, like CeeDee Lamb, he was rooting for him, I noticed. but I thought it was just because he had him on fantasy the first two weeks.

1:36:44Cousin Sal:And then I'm like, I got to get out of this barber chair. Like we could stop this now. I have to get home to talk to this kid. My hair is going to look like shit in six days anyway. So let's just, it's not Graham's fault. It's my bad hair. So I'm like, hey, I say to Harrison, I'm like, what's going on? Graham told me you want to be a Cowboys fan. He's like, yeah, I am a Cowboys fan. I was like, I don't think this is good. I don't want you to do this. And he's like, I want to do it. I want to be a Cowboys fan. I said, why? He's like, because you're my dad. And that was like a real Cosby show moment.

1:37:15Cousin Sal:But I was like, no, I want to.

1:37:16Bill Simmons:Wow, the crowd got silent and then it started applauding.

1:37:19Cousin Sal:Oh, a little slow clap, yeah. You're like Uncle Phil? I said, hey, I want to talk to you about this when I get back from Brooklyn. He says, am I in trouble? I was like, yeah, only if you make this terrible decision. You're in trouble for the rest of your life. I'm like, why can't you be a Chargers fan? We live 10 minutes away and they need fans. And I feel like I'd be doing something good for LA. So, I mean, I really just, I really, really don't want this for him. I feel like I'm running a business where I sell fax machines and I haven't sold one in like 25 years. And he's like, I want to do that too.

1:37:51Cousin Sal:I'm like, no, no, I want better for my kid. But what do I do? I need advice here. Do I continue to push other teams on him? Does he have to have a football team to be a big sports fan?

1:38:01Bill Simmons:I think it would be fun if he was a Cowboys fan. Maybe you have another person to complain about the Cowboys with.

1:38:08Cousin Sal:it just eats me alive because it's not a fun oh look what they did tonight although tonight was fun but I don't know man I don't know what I'm going to do I may not allow this

1:38:22Bill Simmons:I was thinking about what you just said made me think about before the Red Sox won I think I wrote a column about how after the Aaron Boone Homer about passing the Red Sox to my kids how I wasn't going to do it And now the irony is neither of my kids care about baseball. We don't even have a team anyway. But in 2003, it seemed conceivable. But yeah, you feel like you're giving them this burden. It's like you're giving them some sort of disability.

1:38:52Cousin Sal:Yeah, and it doesn't have to be.

1:38:53Bill Simmons:They just have to carry for the rest of their life.

1:38:54Cousin Sal:It doesn't have to be that way. You can root with your friends for the Chargers. Do that, please.

1:39:03so my parent corner um there's a starbucks that when we moved to la it was near the house

1:39:10Bill Simmons:that uh that we were renting um and it was basically like near where tarantino's new beverly cinema was it's on detroit street and used to be it was like the walkable starbucks to where this house we're running. And it was the Starbucks that I was walking to right before the Yankees Red Sox series in 2004, ironically, when a bird shit on my shirt. And I wrote a whole piece about how, because the Italians, like bird shits good luck. So I was, and I was like about to write my Red Sox Yankees preview. And I was walking with my wife and her brother and the bird shit as I was thinking about the, and I was like, this is good luck.

1:39:58Bill Simmons:So went into the thing and I wrote this whole thing about it on page two. So same Starbucks that when my wife was giving birth to my daughter, Zoe, I just told this story in the pod and she went into labor and then she wasn't in labor. And then two days later, she thought she might be again. And we were going there in the morning and I stopped at this Starbucks and got a coffee because I was like, You're probably not having the kid. I need my coffee. Went in the coffee, saw this 90210 actress that was in there. Came out. I was like, you're not going to leave us in there. And Kara's like, drive!

1:40:33Because she felt like, and she's still mad about it.

1:40:36Bill Simmons:She's been mad about it for 20 years. She threw the heel at your face? It was, it was. From last week. Yeah, it was Lucinda from season four, 90210 was in there. And I'm like, you're not going to leave us on. She's like, drive! so anyway she she is coming home and she's stopping because she's coming from that direction and she texts do you want to you want me to get you a nice coffee and i'm like yeah yeah so she comes home and she's like i had to get it from somewhere else that starbucks closed the one on the trade the one we went to and then she's like remember the one where i was about to give birth to zoe and And you were more excited that you ran.

1:41:18Bill Simmons:And we had a whole thing about the... It was still there 21 years later. Still bad about the Starbucks. Anyway, a lot of memories. Bird shit, labor. That's it. I used to write columns at that Starbucks every once in a while. And now it's just gone.

1:41:34Cousin Sal:Oh, that's too bad. And Lucinda was a barista recently there. She probably was. Wait, I have to ask. Did you... When the bird shit on you, did you go in the Starbucks and write the column? Right then? Oh, okay. I thought you sat there with the first bird shirt on.

1:41:50Bill Simmons:I went in. The guy actually noticed the thing because we were talking about it. He's like, what is that on your shirt? And I was like, I need a napkin. And we had this whole debate about whether I should wipe it off, whether it was good luck. I ended up wiping it off, but then not washing the shirt, which is pretty psychotic.

1:42:08Cousin Sal:That's a good fantasy punishment. Someone should have to wear that shirt. That's not to be good luck. Yeah. Nice.

1:42:15Bill Simmons:Yeah. Anyway, that's Paracorner brought to you by Scout Motors. Join the wait list for the Scout Terror and Scout Traveler at scoutmotors.com. Concept vehicle is not available for sale.

1:42:25Cousin Sal:Sorry about that. Keep going. No, I was wondering, was there any chance you were going to name Zoe Jacinda? Jacinda? Jacinda? Sorry. Yeah.

1:42:34Bill Simmons:I think she was dating three guys on the show at once. It probably would have been a mistake. Concept vehicle is not available for sale. Joining the wait list does not guarantee purchase. Visit scoutmotors.com for details. It's weird though, because I used to, you know, I used to be a writer and I would go write my column or write my basketball book or anything. I would go to these, I would leave the house and go to these different places around LA. And that was one of the go-to ones. But when I see these places now, I just think of like all the, these hundreds of hours I just spent with my head down, like fucking, you know, typing.

1:43:08Cousin Sal:What is it? What did it turn into? The Starbucks? I don't, they just closed it. I don't even know what it's going to be. But you could buy it if it means that much. No, it's sentimental.

1:43:18Bill Simmons:It's nice. No, that's fine. Memorabilia. All right. I don't even know if it's sentimental. My wife got mad all over again that I stopped for a coffee there. It's the opposite of sentimental. Needed the coffee. It was the morning. What was I going to do? Sentimental case. Should we do Aging Corner really fast? I guess so.

1:43:36Cousin Sal:I don't know what we think we can get away with here, but all right. Yeah. Go ahead.

1:43:42Bill Simmons:So the big controversy, our cousin Jimmy's back on the air.

1:43:50Bill Simmons:Triumphant week for him. We went to the show on Tuesday. It was great. It was great to see everybody. It was emotional, the whole thing. And he's back. Now he's in Brooklyn doing his show. But his agent, our beloved James Babydoll Dixon, as all this stuff was happening the week before, had a wedding in Martha's Vineyard and was handling his whole side remotely. And that turned into a big topic for us, whether he should have flown back or not. And you're going to be shocked to know that he did not appreciate the discourse about whether he should have flown back or not. And was, dare I say, defensive for one of the only times I remember, like when we were really busting his balls on Tuesday in Jimmy's office.

1:44:34Cousin Sal:Yeah.

1:44:35Bill Simmons:seemed almost a little rattled about it.

1:44:38Cousin Sal:So it was me, you, and Louis, and I don't know how much we're going to talk, but Aaron, the EP, and Bolly, the EP. Yeah, there was like five of us, and we were all giving him shit about it. And so what does he do? He turns his attentions to me and starts getting, which I'm fine with, right? And it was varying degrees of, we're just screwing with you, baby, to, hey, we're angry. Where the hell were you? kind of thing, right? So he, of course, is very defensive about it. But not so much. He just took off and left for the Ryder Cup, like, right the very next day. So he's fine.

1:45:15Bill Simmons:He was like, I'm here, aren't I? This was a day back, yeah. But then left the next day. So he technically did come back. Right, right, right. But I don't know. I still don't. I need. I kind of need more information. I wish there was a reporter covering Babydoll. because I want to know what the wedding was. Who was the wedding? What do we know about the wedding that he couldn't leave?

1:45:40Cousin Sal:I think it was one of his daughter's friends. Very dear, sweet, sweet kid. I couldn't miss this. No, I'm not missing that wedding.

1:45:46Bill Simmons:But he claimed he was putting in 20 hours a day remotely.

1:45:51Cousin Sal:Working on trying to get... During the whole saga.

1:45:54Bill Simmons:Did you believe that? I mean, he doesn't sleep, so that is conceivable.

1:45:58Cousin Sal:I don't believe it unless he's... I mean, first of all, he shows up. He's so dark. He looks like Wesley Snipes when we see him. You know, and it's like, I don't think he's doing 20 hours of anything, but like sunbathing, like Pauly Walnuts.

1:46:15Bill Simmons:Yeah, he's 20 hours, but then he's also talking about how good his swing is.

1:46:19Cousin Sal:Yeah, right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah. We love you, baby. I don't know. We just need some answers there.

1:46:24Bill Simmons:It was just... We get in trouble. Well, you have to see him for the next five days. Oh, yeah, you're right. You're right. I'm going to get in trouble. I'm 3 ,000 miles away. I'm not going to get in any trouble.

1:46:39Cousin Sal:Who knows if I'll see him?

1:46:41Bill Simmons:I don't know.

1:46:41Cousin Sal:I don't know what he shows up to.

1:46:42Bill Simmons:But the important thing is he did show up for Tuesday after all the drama had been settled. He was there.

1:46:48Cousin Sal:Yeah, yeah. I'm there when it counts, baby. Now, my boy Carson is doing something for the Budweiser light tent. I got to get the hell out of here. Off to Beth's page.

1:46:58Bill Simmons:Maybe he's like Tom Hayden. Maybe he's a peacetime conciliary, like Tom and the Godfather. Oh, yeah.

1:47:05Cousin Sal:All right.

1:47:05Bill Simmons:I mean, that would be different. Maybe he's not like Janko. Like Janko is a wartime conciliary.

1:47:10Cousin Sal:I like that. I mean, his way is usually just to scream until he gets his way. But that wasn't the deal this time. It all worked out.

1:47:19Bill Simmons:I did not appreciate that you talked about this on the podcast.

1:47:24Cousin Sal:This was private business. You know, leverage-wise, this is not good for me, baby. Shit. Maybe we run this by Louis to see if...

1:47:38Bill Simmons:Well, leverage-wise, it all worked out somehow. Yeah, that's right. And now we have this Brooklyn week and good times all the way around. Good week of shows. Very happy to have Jimmy Kimmel back on the TV. Yeah. Anything you got to plug this week?

1:47:56Cousin Sal:Tate and I are going to talk college on Tuesday big wins for Bama and Oregon those were fun, go Ducks House and DeBundo on Wednesday, House again, I gotta he endorsed my bet, Europe to win between 1 and 3 plus 400, so that's my claim to fame for the weekend, thank you

1:48:14Bill Simmons:did you like Dante Moore by the way, because McShay was on here on Thursday, and he said that was his favorite QB, and then I watched a bunch of that game, and he was good you didn't like him? no, I liked him I thought he was good.

1:48:25Cousin Sal:All different arm angles. That was a toughest. I mean, what's tougher place to win than that? I don't know. Maybe Penn State isn't great, but that was a, he showed some grit. It was a great, it's great when you win those games in the other team's stadium and college football when it just goes completely silent. Right. Yeah.

1:48:42Bill Simmons:When it's like, ah. And then it's like, it's almost like a pin gets shoved into the stadium. But that was one of those wins where it was just.

1:48:50Cousin Sal:Walk-off interception. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That was great. That was good. and then Friday the Bundle and Heifetz with me and Todd Marinovich will join us he has a book out

1:49:00Bill Simmons:good times we'll try to find out more information about Baby Dawn next Sunday we'll do Agent Corner I can get a sponsor next week for Agent Corner

1:49:10Cousin Sal:alright let's do it I know you're way far away drinking hot water with lemon and he's gonna lambast me for five straight days I can't wait I can't wait

1:49:19Bill Simmons:for the stories cause good job by you good job by you buddy. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Sal. Thanks to Eduardo and Gahal as well. Don't forget new rewatchables coming Monday night, prestige TV task, uh, all of our sports and pop culture content on the ringer podcast network. This is a big, big, big month for us. That's coming up. Uh, we are in our wheelhouse, uh, in a whole bunch of different ways. So I will see you definitely on Tuesday. You might even see me four times this week because, uh, with all the stuff that's going on, but I will see you on this podcast on Tuesday.

1:49:53Bill Simmons:I wanna see them I wanna waste all that I wanna say I don't have periods with them Must be 21 plus in President's Lake States for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus in President of D.C., Kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-health.com Call 1-887-897777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelpline ma.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York. This message is brought to you by Mariner. It takes the right team to help develop an athlete's talents.

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