Boston Gets Clocked, Round 1 Predictions, and a Mega-Mailbag With Chris Ryan and Joe House

22:17Bill Simmons:Even bringing in Alvarado for these little Camryos, it feels like it supercharges them, which is what I was saying about the Celts before. Like the Celts used to get that from the bench, even like the little Alvarado run. Brunson was masterful tonight. The CJ piece was really interesting, CR. Yeah, so I was mostly watching Sixers Celtics, and by the time I flipped over, this was pretty much over. So he only had six points. What happened here? Yeah, he just was a non-factor. I think what happened is he's 34 years old and old guys in the playoffs just, you know, they're going to have nights where they just don't have it.

22:50Bill Simmons:Like you said, Drew Holiday tonight in the San Antonio game was another one. It can look great in a game two. All of a sudden in game five, it's a two for 15. But they, I guess the benefit house was that with CJ, now they're not going to have to pay him$35 million a year in the free agency if they lose him six. And he kind of peters out near the end. maybe they get him on a better deal Atlanta made some interesting they put Daniels on Kat they put Okongwu on OG and they put Alexander Walker on Brunson and watching in the beginning I was like oh I like this I like Daniels on Towns this is good and then the Knicks figured it out in about 10 minutes and that was that but I think CR I think we can retire the CJ McCollum on the Reggie Miller villain MSG storyline to be fair to him I think he was like I think he didn't even want to start it like I'm 34.

23:41I do wonder whether or not the front row of Stiller, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan, and Chalamet was... Don't forget Jenner. And Jenner. And whether that was kind of like a hat tip to Adam Silver, like, we can't lose in front of these guys kind of situation. First, great to see Chalamet

24:03Bill Simmons:back out there having fun again. It feels like the Oscars were a million years ago. When was he not having fun? I'm glad he's living his life. I'm glad he's not wearing his Knicks concerns on his face. But this playoffs really feels like the Knicks fans have passed the Laker fans from a star power standpoint. That was a pretty impressive fivesome that they had trotted out. I was like, wow, this is good. I don't know what the Lakers are quippling. The Lakers are really struggling as Jack is getting older. I think they really struggle. Yeah, that's true. Who's the mayor of the Lakers right now? It's really tough.

24:39Bill Simmons:like you you hope denzel but denzel is like also a knicks fan he's like a sports bigamist does flea still make it on the screen yeah you have flea of dian cannon like they can't oh gosh they're in a knife fight with like a little butter knives yeah they really need to double down on uh on their fan base um yeah so i guess going forward with the knicks the only thing is bridges just seems like he's a section eight at this point offensively and that's just how it's going to go, but they, what the Knicks had in game four with the being down to one, this is a real people staring at each other. The fans freaking out.

25:17Bill Simmons:All right, what do we got in us? Are we going to come together? And they did. It's not far away from where the Celtics are these next couple of days now where they really look, they, they legitimately lost tonight. That was not a, oh, we didn't hit our threes. That's why we're doing it. It was like, they got their butt speed tonight in the second half. So what is that going to mean? And what adjustments are they? Spurs Blazers. Thanks anyway, Portland. Thanks for, uh, thanks for all your efforts and your concerns. Thanks, Denny. Thanks, Denny. You, you tried, you got mad at people a couple of times.

25:48Bill Simmons:You lost half of a tooth. Yeah. Thanks, Drew Holiday. Enjoyed your performance. Uh, thanks, Scoot Henderson, for that quick little, uh, cameo that boosted my stock before Dylan Harper took it to him. Donovan Klingen, can he make a three-point shot or have I just not seen it? He'll take him. Yeah, he'll make you think about him. Yeah, he'll shoot it. Yeah, he'll take it. He's no Drummond. Drummond's just automatic from the corner now. I mean, Jesus. Yeah, so House, is this a sweep without the Wemby concussion? Yes. Yes, it is. I agree. But, you know, I want to give some flowers to this Portland team.

26:27They were in it. They fought. They showed the value of pushing all the way to the end because there was kind of an inflection point moment for their season where they could have found themselves in the lottery again without too much effort. But I mean, I love this revelation of Denny, and I'm interested in their offseason. They have cap space. They kind of need a point guard because I don't know if Scoot's going to be the point guard. Why are you doing that today? Well, isn't Damian Lillard supposed to be the point guard? Well, what's he going to do, right? He will be something to them. He will be a very important, meaningful piece to them.

27:06But they have some money. They have some interesting pieces. They have 15 million bucks. You have to ask. Maybe Tom Dundon thinks he gets to keep that. I was going to say, you're like, I'm going to give them their flowers. I think Dundon might be like, I'm not paying for those flowers. These guys don't need flowers. They're basketball players.

27:24Bill Simmons:I got this email from a guy named Parker who had more ideas for Tom Dundon to save money. And one of them, he had stuff like on the bench, only have seats for the coaches, for like the two best coaches and everybody else give to paying customers because you can make more courtside stuff. Use unpaid people to clean up the court. Halftime shows just don't have a halftime show at all. Honestly, there's a couple of these things that I'd be pretty into. Yeah, he can really zag the other way. I just think that Dundon is obviously going to drive. If this keeps going, it'll be an embarrassment for the league.

28:02But if he was like, you know what? You guys, we don't need somebody unicycling around during halftime. Just go to the bathroom, get a beer, come back. We're just going to play some music.

28:13Bill Simmons:He could have the scores table, could just have two people on it, try to sneak some courtsides in there. What else could he do, House? I mean, the halftime is easy. That's kids playing basketball. and you know you can depending on how cynical you want to be about it you can set odds like you know you can bet on kids basketball same game parlay within the game yes that's right he thinks he thinks he can say Parker thinks he can save money on the exercise warm up bike and maybe just use real bikes because they're cheaper so the guys would have to actually pedal around well you could do that you could just basically say to a guy you'd be like you're either in the game or you're out riding a bike is not going to change it We've gotten rid of the bikes.

28:53Bill Simmons:We saved$590. So yeah, this will be some Blazers summer. They're going to be cheaping out on a coach. They do have some maneuverability with some trade stuff. They didn't have Shaden Sharp really for this series because he had a stress fracture thing and he barely played. He wasn't the same. And I do wonder like with his scoring, could they have made this a six-game series? Fun team though. I'm excited. I do hope he doesn't destroy them. I'm excited. Interesting team. The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. We are right in the middle of the NBA playoffs. I'm making picks left and right.

29:28Bill Simmons:Did an unexpected one on Monday night because I really like the slate. So we did OKC Moneyline, SGA 25 plus points, K25 plus points, Tobias Harris 15 plus, and it hit. It was two to one. Going to try to, every time I like any sort of parlay or any situation, probably just going to tweet it out. And if there's additional FanDuel value, like there is tonight where all customers get a profit boost. Oh yeah. You love those profit boosts. And if you can match that with the parlay or the bet that you like, your win hits bigger. FanDuel giving you better payouts on same-gay parlays on NBA playoffs, all playoffs long.

30:10Bill Simmons:Lock in your bets, boost your odds, make the playoffs pay off with FanDuel, official sports betting partner of the NBA. Head to FanDuel.com slash BS to get started. FanDuel, play your game. 21 plus select states are 18 plus DC, Kentucky, Wyoming. Restrictions apply. See terms at sportsbook.fanduel.com. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. You know what my favorite thing about the playoffs is? I like, and it's usually maybe a game four. Might even be a game five. Game seven, everyone's nervous.

30:46Bill Simmons:there's a different level of energy. But game four, game five, for one of the two teams, there's this realization with like five minutes left in the fourth quarter. Where it's like, uh-oh. Our fate is suddenly in real flux right now. Who's stepping up? What are we going to do? Let's calm down. Can we rise to the moment or are we going to shrink from it? And you can kind of see it with different teams. It's definitely like, for instance, going to happen in this Denver, Minnesota series. There's going to be a moment in one of the later games when all of a sudden either Minnesota's taken it from Denver and at some point somebody in Denver is going to have to hit a shot and you're going to look around and go, who's going to do it?

31:25Bill Simmons:Or in Minnesota's case, maybe Denver is punching them back and now Edwards has to step up or DiVincenzo. And you just never know. And you never know how somebody's going to respond to pressure. But that's why we love the playoffs every spring. it's as great as opening up a Michelob Ultra a nice cold one crisp, refreshing the ultimate prize plus as the official beer partner of the NBA they're giving fans a chance to win courtside tickets custom merch and more you could be at one of those games when the pressure rises Michelob Ultra Superior is worth playing for enter now at MichelobUltra.com slash courtside Michelob Ultra Courtside 25 to 26.

32:13Bill Simmons:No purchase necessary. Open to U.S. Residents 21+. Begins on October 1st, 2025. Ends on June 30th, 2026. Multiple entry periods. See official rules at michelobeultra.com slash courtside for free entry, entry deadlines, and prizes and details. We're going to play a game of which underdog would you rather be? Lakers Rockets. The Rockets are plus 750 for the series. Celtics Sixers. Sixers are plus 1100 for the series, which seems way too high. And then Knicks Hawks plus 560 for the Hawks. This Rockets idea is Durant. There's no Durant, right? I don't know. Is there Durant? Well, even if there isn't, is it better without him?

32:59Right? In some crazy way.

33:02Bill Simmons:Better without him? Do you want him on the bench? He was laughing it up with Reed Shepard and Jabari last night. Or the other night. So it seemed like everything was cool. Joe, you go first. So are you reading the prices as they exist right now in the FanDuel Sportsbook, Bill Simmons? They are where I saw them a half an hour ago. Maybe they changed a little bit. And what is the Rockets price? The Rockets price, I'm going to give it to you right now. The Rockets price is plus$730. Okay. So that's because no team in the history of the NBA has come back from a 3-0 deficit. it. Philly is still 11-1 and Atlanta is plus 570.

33:45Bill Simmons:And weirdly, I probably feel the worst about Atlanta. I feel like they had their their like the Turk and the Godfather. I missed my chance. I am the hunted one now. They had the Knicks. So, yeah. I missed my chance. Who would you have, House? I think probably the Sixers just because there's a world where Maxie has one awesome game and Embiid has another awesome game, and then all of a sudden the Celtics are going home, and it's like, what just happened? We got Edgecombe. I mean, at the price, that's right. We got one great Edgecombe game. He's capable of two. So if Edgecombe and Maxie together go off, and they did do this a couple times in the season, I mean, there still could be like a vintage Paul George game in there.

34:37I guess that's the one

34:38Bill Simmons:What does a vintage Paul George game look like? Honestly though, he's right It's like saying like a vintage Nell Carter performance It's scoring in the high 20s, early 30s and locking down one of Boston's wings I'm going to regret saying this I agree, it's the Sixers It is like let's win game 6 and then game 7s are weird Great theory about how the Rockets I mean the Lakers didn't want to win game four because they wanted to extend the series so that the next series would start later to buy Luka more time. I don't believe this. I just caught conspiracy bill's attention that the Lakers would lose game four and game five to push the next series to like Tuesday.

35:22Bill Simmons:Oh, they would lose both. Yeah, they'd basically throw multiple games. I don't believe this, but conspiracy bill did come across his desk. I did hold it up to the light. It didn't pass the... Do you think every time Luka watches Lou Dort trip a guy, he's like, ah, you know what? This is getting a little tight, though. One more second here. It's going to be fun watching SGA against I don't even know who and the Lakers, if that ends up being the series. Smart. Yeah, that's not going to last too long. Okay, next question. Which team would you rather be? Denver, minus 142, or Minnesota, plus 120 right now, heading into game six.

36:02Bill Simmons:If your life depended on it, which team would you rather be? which team would rather back. So I missed it. What's the state of Nas Reed? He came back in the game. I think he's okay. Okay. Man, that's really rolling downhill against Minnesota.

36:23Would I rather be Denver or would I rather be who?

36:27Bill Simmons:Minnesota. Denver's minus 138. Minnesota's plus 138. Oh, I thought it was a different series. Yeah, I would rather be Denver. house. Why is that a question? I don't understand. It's a question. Minnesota just has to win one game. Yeah, but they don't have Anthony Edwards. They don't have their best player. They're not going to be. What you're doing is you're saying that the version of the Joker that we've seen thus far, even with an empty calorie triple-double to stave off elimination. That was not an empty collar. Why do you say that? He was great in that game. He was fine. Here's my fear. The game five, Spencer Jones, Cam Johnson were really good at home in a game five.

37:20Bill Simmons:What is that going to look like in a game six in Minnesota when you're on the road and your team actually needs you? I just think it's easier for guys like that to play at home. And that's one of the things that frustrated me with the Celtics tonight. Like home games are the time to bring out your bench guys and hope you strike oil with one of them. I don't really trust that many of these Denver guys if Gordon's not going to play. You know, and I don't think Minnesota needed that game. I just think that's the way the league works. It's like we're up 3-1. It would be nice if we could steal this.

37:52Bill Simmons:They don't have Anthony Edwards. They need every game. There are no giveaway games for them. I'm not saying it was a giveaway game. I just think there's a level of desperation that one team has versus the other. You could feel a little in Philly, Boston, but especially in Denver, Minnesota, where Minnesota's like, all right, we don't really need this game. Like game six is the one they need. But that's, wouldn't you call that a must win, basically, though, that game six for them? I mean, I wouldn't because I don't, I don't, I think it's conceivable to go in somebody's building and win game sevens.

38:26Bill Simmons:We just see it over and over again now. Like, Kavs, it's not like what we grew up in the 80s, where it was like Game 7 at home, you won. And if you could win a Game 7 in somebody's building, it was like a fucking miracle. I feel like anybody can win anywhere now. If Anthony Edwards was playing for Minnesota, they'd win this series. This is a Minnesota team that went to the goddamn Western Conference Finals two consecutive years. They have no problem beating Denver. And they demonstrated, you know, the idea for this series was that this is a new Denver. Denver reeled off 13 straight wins coming into the playoffs.

38:58I don't know the last time they lost three consecutive games. They just lost three consecutive games to this Minnesota team because this Minnesota team, they know how to beat Denver. They are built to beat Denver. They know how to beat Denver. They have no issue beating Denver. But they don't have Anthony Edwards. So I think that Denver's going to win three straight games and they're going to beat Minnesota in the series.

39:19Bill Simmons:Well, it sounds like you should bet the Denver money line for this series then. Done. I'll tell you this. I think the line for game five is out of whack. Minnesota is plus five and a half at home in game six. I think it's a 50-50 game. And I don't really trust Denver without Gordon, with him either playing hurt or not playing at all. They don't have five guys that I trust in a game like this. And I think that's what worries me with them. So if you have, with Minnesota, even if it's just Ayo, McDaniels, Reed, Randall, and Gobert, and you get lucky with one of the bench guys, I think you could beat Denver in a game like that.

39:58Bill Simmons:So I'm leaning Minnesota. I mean, I would take the points, but I also... Something's a little off with Denver. I don't like it. I think Gordon's too important to them. So you would really have to see Joker just go bonkers. Yeah, but don't you think he has that game in him? I mean, unless he's got some secret injury or a horse he loves dies, he's got that game in him. Of course. I don't know. The fact that he's just not hitting threes anymore worries me that the nba did the little bit of the playbook in game four mcdaniels had two fouls in the first three minutes of the game which was just a classic and i don't you're not getting that in this game and i bet mcdaniels is all over the place all right so we disagree on that one um this one's probably a little easier which team would you rather be cleveland or toronto cleveland's minus 460 toronto's plus 380 i would be very worried if i was cleveland though because I think Toronto's found something with the muck it up small ball thing.

40:55Bill Simmons:And Cleveland has James Harden.

41:01Those would be my two concerns. Zach Lowe called this one correctly. This is going to go seven and the home team is going to win this series. And it's kind of unnecessary that it's going to go seven. Yeah, it really does not have to go seven. It doesn't need to go seven. Cleveland has advantages in a lot of different ways. Except... Is Evan Mobley a bitch? I mean, I think it's time to go ahead and put it on the table. I hope I would use that word. What word would you like to use? Because it's step-up time. It's step-the-fuck-up time. This team was built to be a 55-win team this season coming in.

41:39They were supposed to be comparable to the team from last year. They hit the reset button and brought in some really important, valuable assets at the trade deadline because it wasn't working. The formula didn't work. And I just would like to see the guys that were adorning with the leap is coming. Here it comes. This is what this team's supposed to be on paper. And I'm still waiting. We're playing playoff basketball games now. That's where their advantage is supposed to reside is that dude with his inside-outside capacity. I don't know. I'll just sit tight and wait for it to happen, I guess.

42:22Bill Simmons:I said this to Zach on Sunday. He doesn't seem to have these games where it's like, wow, Evan Mobley is running amok. He's just destroying Toronto tonight. Like, he's kind of there. He does some nice things, but I don't know if there's that last level for him. This might just be who he is, CR. Yeah, I've not spent a ton of time with this series. This is always the one that seems to be on. You're not locked into Raptors' caps? on Tubi at like 1.30 p.m. You know, like I'm never sure. The Mobley thing though is strange because you would hope that something like the Harden trade is the exact thing that would be like, look, like, I mean, Harden was very, very, very good for Embiid.

43:02Like, I mean, it's just like playing with a big man and being able to like facilitate that kind of stuff. And it just doesn't seem to have made an appreciable difference. I do kind of feel like Cleveland's playing with their food a little bit here and will win the series. but it's an unnecessary amount of labor for these guys, I think.

43:19Bill Simmons:I picked Cleveland in six. The two series ones I liked were Cleveland in six and the Knicks in six. Cleveland in six is now minus 105, so it's even. Cleveland in seven is plus 170. And if you wanted to get nuts and think Toronto upsets Cleveland in game seven and we have another James Harden moment, that is seven to one. I do think they found something with Murray Boyles, though, and going smaller. Like they've, you know, they basically have turned it into an athletic rock fight and they made it really difficult for the Cavs. And I'll be interested to see what the adjustments are. I'd probably lean Cleveland in six still.

43:59Bill Simmons:But if it goes to a seven, I would just be really nervous. The history of Cleveland sports, the history of James Harden, the Donovan Mitchell. Okay. And then Orlando, Detroit. Orlando is minus 240 and Detroit is plus 198. But we did find out that Franz is yet the latest one. Oh, now it's minus 250 Orlando plus 205 Detroit. We did find out, even though Orlando's up 3-1, that Franz has a calf thing and is going to miss game five. Bad calf thing? Because it's like probably for the rest of the series? It's a calf thing where you're missing a game, which tells me that's at least a week and it's not 100%.

44:40Bill Simmons:in the way that... I thought that team really found something with the five starters and Kane and a little black, but really like six and a half guys. So this changes that a little bit. I don't know, House. Where do you stand in this serious house? It's the most impossible one to figure because of the schizophrenic magic. They were schizophrenic coming down the stretch. They lost seven straight games. Then they finished the season on a seven and three over their last ten. They lost to our G League team. When they needed a win, they played all their starters. G League team, and then they lost to Philadelphia.

45:18Right. In the play-in. And really didn't even show up. Yeah, they thought they did not want to be in the playoffs against us. Yeah, that was a 1-2-3 Cancun vibe they were giving off. For sure, Paolo. But Franz reminded us, he was really important to them. He really can score. He really can create. but he's Franz questionable Wagner. Tell me, take the cue out of the, you know, next to his name and go play. Just play. He can't play. He can't be on the floor. Chris? It's hard to imagine because Detroit's so new to this and this is all happening so soon for them and playing as a one seed that I don't think they have like the institutional knowledge necessarily to claw themselves out of this.

46:03So even without Wagner, it doesn't feel like this is Detroit ripping off three in a row. And there's no guy on that team where I'm like, well, he's going to put it together. Cade's been playing, like he's had a lot of turnovers, but he's been playing fine. It's just like, it's exactly what you've been talking about, where it's just like they stood pat at the trade deadline. Maybe in three years, they'll be able to be like, see, that's why we did that. But this year, they're going to regret it. And it's going to be a little bit of like a bruise going into next season where you're like, you're number one seed.

46:33You were the number one seed, almost like wire to wire. I think they were pretty high up there, at least for most of the season. And to get beat by the eighth seed of a bunch of guys, most people were like, Jamal Mosley's going to get fired in between play-in games. Still might get fired. He might win the series and still get fired. And that's crazy. So, I mean, I think that that's pretty unnerving for Detroit.

46:54Bill Simmons:Well, you get the stink on you because you have this great regular season, then you flame out in round one, and then you go to the next season. And no matter what the result is for the first three months, people like well you this was what happened last year like we've seen this happen with the calves we saw it happen with the phoenix suns there's these teams that can have these great regular seasons and it just evaporates overnight when you when you have like a flame out um yeah i mean i'm i'm willing to be a tiny bit more generous with detroit they did like jade and ivy might have played an important role in this series it's it's possible you can't dismiss it out of hand.

47:31You mean for TMZ headlines? Well, no. I mean, you know, he couldn't have been a viable starter. And it's the case that, like, you know, we complained that they didn't do more at the trade deadline, but they thought they were going to have Malik Beasley last summer. They thought Malik Beasley was going to play basketball for them. One of the best three-point shooters in the league last year. Yeah, but they've known for a long time that he was. I know.

47:57Bill Simmons:Nobody put a gun to their head and told them to sign Karis LeVert when there are other free agents. I don't think they covered themselves in glory. They won 60 games. No, but I'm saying with the moves, you can feel it now. I really like the Orlando minus 240, and I just think they will win one of the next three games because their defense, the rock fight nature of this, I just don't see Detroit winning three in a row. Yeah, and Duren seems like he's on another planet. Yeah, they've solved something. If he was balling and it was just like they just are losing close games or something, but he seems...

48:38He just got new to Reese. Yeah, right.

48:41Bill Simmons:We cover that later. Last thing, the lottery proposal. Shams wrote this 3-2-1 lottery proposal that they leaked out. Lottery is now 16 teams. This would be the idea. teams four through ten in the lottery order get three lottery balls but if you fall into the bottom three you only get two and then everybody else nine and ten uh playing seeds in each conference also get two and the losers of these seven eight playing games get one and then they had some other stuff about no team would be able to win the top pick in consecutive years which i like no team would be able to win three consecutive top five picks i like that as well um and then you would not be able to protect picks in the 12 to 15 slots going forward oh interesting so i thought this was too confusing i the only ones i really liked out of this were the uh the ban on winning top pick and the ban on winning three consecutive top five picks this other stuff like i still feel like there's going to just be different ways to tank Like, would Golden State have rather been a playing team or would rather be in the 4-10 spot with more lottery balls than anybody else in the other six teams?

49:58Bill Simmons:I would rather throw away the playing game at that point, which to me sounds like even more severe. So going into the playoffs, I was chatting a little bit with Zach about whether or not the teams in this play-in tournament, if that's what you want to call it, were like a validation of the concept of the play-in or a repudiation of it? And like, would you rather be in the AJ Peterson, you know, A-cuff sweepstakes, or would you rather, you know, go get your teeth kicked in by Oklahoma City or I thought Detroit? And now it's like, you know, not only has Orlando now made this a series with Detroit and that's super fun.

50:38You know, it'll probably be a little bit hard in the second round. But like, I don't know, man. And I kind of think that improving, enticing teams that are mediocre or low mediocre to duck the playoffs or be worse than they actually are because they might get into the lottery. Even if it's weighted that way, I still don't love it. And again, I know this is kind of a superficial critique, but if you can't explain it to me in an elevator ride, it seems like it's not going to really be popular. and that's also one of the problems with this is it's like, it's not like the NFL draft where everybody is like, I can find somebody at 30 that can help my team go to the playoffs.

51:20Like, you kind of tune out after the first four picks. What about you, House? Yeah, I mean, this is the inherent challenge that's super unique to the NBA and as long as the incentive structure rewards teams that fare worse over the course of the season with a higher draft pick, then you are stone cold fucked. You have created an incentive structure for teams to go try and get that because the impact is outsized. The impact of getting a player that can change your franchise in a split second. I mean, Wemby isn't a good example because he's a once in a whatever kind of a player. And Detroit had the highest number that year and didn't get them.

52:11Yeah, that's right. I mean, and Washington has been up there in the mix for a handful of years. But, you know, Cooper Flagg to Dallas completely resuscitated. It's like saved the franchise. A dead situation. It's a miracle that they got that lottery. Really, it's a miracle. I'll never get over their good luck. It's a miracle. It's going to be a miracle when Golden State wins this year.

52:36Bill Simmons:When Golden State gets the top four pair. It's going to be miraculous. It's going to be a miracle. I don't know why we can't just have the top 10 worst teams each get 8 % and anybody in from the 1 to 10, 8%. And then we split the other 20 % with how many teams you want to go and then put in those other things about the top five pick consecutive years and all that stuff. I'm fine with that. The thing I really don't like about this bottom three record being penalized saying, what happens if you just have the year from hell and a bunch of guys get injured? Like, Indiana... The Patriots. Yeah. Indiana, I actually watched those games and felt like they were trying to win most of the time for the most part.

53:18Bill Simmons:They weren't doing a lot of the chicanery of others. They just had a lot of injuries. Well, in the first part of the season. Yeah. The second part of the season. I mean, let's be... But there were teams earlier in the season and earlier than usual. They just didn't have a choice with what was happening. Yeah. But then there were teams like, with no disrespect, Utah, who I felt like were... Utah definitely could have been better than... Why with no disrespect? Because they get very touchy about that. I know, but Utah should have done that. Like, if the system is going to tell you to do this... Yes, because Utah could get AJ and have Markkanen and JJJ and be awesome next year.

53:55You know, like, they could be really exciting.

53:57Bill Simmons:I still wonder if there's some way to split, like split the seasons in half for the lottery balls. And if like in that second part of the season, like Argentinian soccer. Well, if your record is just way out of whack with what it was in the first half of the season, then maybe that, maybe that should be, but it, but this gets into your elevator thing. CR, I do think you were going to have to be able to explain this in a sentence. It's like anything else. It's like good TV shows. You should be able to explain in a sentence. A movie pitch should be a sentence, a pitch I have for a company should be a sentence and the latter should be one sentence.

54:35Bill Simmons:And it's like, Hey, top 10, the worst 10 teams, 8 % chance each. You can't win the top pick two years in a row and you can't get a top five pick three years in a row. And those are our new rules. And that's what we're doing. I think people would accept that more than what we have now. This three to one thing is just like you, the, the teams that are 13th, 14th worst, try to dip in. Look at this. This is the proposal. This is fucking 400 words. That can't be your proposal. So hopefully this will not be what they end up doing. House just wants to win one more lottery before they pack it in. This is the one.

55:16Bill Simmons:What are your big ones? John Rawl? There's a big culture change happening in Washington. I was reading about it. Culture change? Yeah. They're doing one-on-ones with the whole staff of the players. I was reading about it. It was kind of cool. I was like, Ted, how's that? We're about to do a mailbag. We have a great, great, great Washington Wizard question in the mailbag that we're about to do. CR, what's life been like after CR month? Just searching for answers after that? Yeah, searching for meaning. No, it's been pretty good. Dude, it's still riding the high. What are you talking about? Ghostbusters, baby.

55:50Yeah, Ghostbusters was great. Bill, did you see the PSG Bayern Munich game today? at all. I did not. The Champions League game.

55:59Bill Simmons:Sadly, I was doing work stuff. I highly recommend you check it out. What was the final score of it? 5-4 PSG. It's one of the best soccer football matches I've ever seen. Oh, really? And this guy, Michael Olise, who plays for Bayern Munich, played out of his mind today. I was hoping he would go to Liverpool next season. You know what I did say was the second division Spanish goalkeeper clocked that other guy and got jumped by 20 guys. I watched that. I watched a bunch of angles of that one. Can that happen more? Because the goal was not like The pads, too. He sent me that one. I want to see that one.

56:30Bill Simmons:Oh, it was great. He cold-cocked the guy. Yeah, it was good stuff. Yeah, we're getting ready for the World Cup over here. Is that what's going on? Yeah, I mean, like, I think it's heating up, obviously. But no, the PSG-Bayern game was like, revived my soul. It was amazing. Do you have a Champions League pick for House and I? I think PSG's going to win. You think they're going to win the whole thing? You got House's attention. Okay. What are the odds? I don't know, but I think the tough thing for Arsenal is if they beat Atletico, the Spanish team, Plus 185, yes. Okay, good. I'm in. They're running.

57:07Arsenal's run-in is tight because they're going nose-to-nose with Man City for the title. Got it. It's a little harder for them than it would be for PSG.

57:15Bill Simmons:CR is just, as soon as the Sixers get eliminated, whatever round, he moves right into World Cup mode in England. Just thinking about everything. Where are we going to go? Is that the... Well, who's your World Cup pick? My World Cup pick? He hasn't done all the research yet. It really depends because a bunch of guys have gotten hurt recently. So I have to kind of rethink it. A couple of French guys got hurt. He's doing, he's preparing for, Sean's doing a movie draft of the best Philip Baker Hall movies. And so they're running out of movie draft ideas. So they're doing that. He's hoping to get happiness with the second round pick.

57:52Hey, I don't want to keep House up very late, but I have to ask him one question.

57:55Bill Simmons:Groggy House loves this. What are you talking about? Yeah, I'm good. I'm hot. For the last 10, 12 days, maybe a little bit longer, he's been kind of trolling me about how unquestionable it is that REM is better than the replacements. Oh, my God. I didn't know where you stood on this, but I know you must think it's a closer fight than Bill seems to. No, that wasn't what I said. As usual, classic CR, you twisted my words around. I said at the time, CR, that REM was a much bigger band than the replacements. and it wasn't arguable and we didn't put them next to each other. That is true. And now as the years have passed, people are like, no, actually the placements were better.

58:35Bill Simmons:And that's been a thing that has now happened. Those are two different arguments. And you following me down the hallway and being like the bums lost is not convincing me because you said they're bigger. I said, I know they're bigger. And you were like, and they were better. And it's like, I just don't agree. They had a more successful career. Okay. Again, two different, like, you know who had a more successful NSYNC had a more successful career than Minor Threat. Okay. Now we're talking. NSYNC had, you know, made more money, was more well-known, you know, more critical, not more critical acclaim, but...

59:10Bill Simmons:When we were in college, REM was the crown prince of alternative college radio. They were the band. I was a DJ. I know. WCHC, the College of the Holy Cross, the hip stuff. 99.1 FM from the day I arrived, you know, the first time they let me on in that radio station within the first couple of weeks of school. They gave me, me and Jeff Maser, the 10 a.m. 10 p.m. to 1 a.m. Friday night slot. Hey, freshman, go suck a fat one. Here's your radio slot. Friday nights at Holy Cross. It's actually a good spot. lights and mountain dew with joe house and i'm here to tell you i didn't play rem in four years from 19 the fall of 1987 to the to the spring of 1991 i didn't play a single rem song not once in my entire college because they were too mainstream and you were how much westerberg at that place say it again CR how much Tim did you bang amazing of course goes without saying there you go that's the only metric that counts mission of Burma replacements lemon heads back amazing stuff we could do volcano suns bang it baby so what's your answer house but what REM has more established a lengthier career, but the replacements are irrefutably incredibly impactful for the moment that they arrive in what they did.

1:00:54Okay. I agree. We're all on the same page. So is Fugazi. Fugazi surpasses the replacements, to be, I mean, respectfully.

1:01:07Bill Simmons:You know, it's coming back, guys. That's a much longer conversation. Early 2000s music is fucking back. Let's go. Ben Simmons went to Coachella. Number one reason was because the Strokes were playing. He was more excited about them than anything else. All that music is back from the yay, yay, yes, the Strokes. All that stuff is back. LCD. It's all back, CR. I saw the Strokes a bunch back in the day. They were a little wet farty for me.

1:01:36Like, I saw them with Guided by Voices. That's the problem, CR. And Guided by Voices kicked their ass, right? It wasn't even close. Yeah, so that's the problem. First time I saw The Strokes where they played with God by Voices.

1:01:48Bill Simmons:All right, can we schedule like a late 80s, early 90s alternative rock debate podcast? Is this the first time minor threats ever been mentioned on your podcast? Yeah, that was pretty impressive. Definitely. There's a 100 % chance. All right, House is going to stay because we're doing a mailbag. CR is going to go and celebrate with a couple of VJ Edgecombe brews. VJ Edgecombe lights. That sounds delicious. Some BJ lights. Guys, thanks so much. Talk to you soon. All right, we are in full swing for the NBA playoffs. Great teams, great players, great action. Every single night, the stakes are the absolute highest.

1:02:25Bill Simmons:And when I watch, I love to bet on FanDuel, especially when I'm on the East Coast, back for Celtic games. So that I could just jump right in. FanDuel, a brand I trust, easy to build by bet. I know I will get my winnings instantly. So Wednesday night, a couple of really fun ones because we have Orlando, Detroit, Toronto, Cleveland, and Houston, Lakers. And honestly, I don't think you can go wrong with the underdog money lines in any of those. I'm going to send out an official pick if I really love one of the matchups or a parlay situation. But I think all of those series are 50-50 series, especially like Orlando might just be better than Detroit.

1:03:04Bill Simmons:Toronto has really figured out a small ball lineup to bug Cleveland and Houston, Lakers. Who knows? I mean, that series should be 2-2. It's 3-1. Anyway, I will figure it out. Check out my picks in the FanDuel Sportsbook app and on my social feed. Don't forget to boost your potential winnings before you place it. FanDuel, play your game. This episode is brought to you by Panda Express. It's not always easy to show love, but there is one way to express how you feel. Food! And what better way to say I love you than with Panda Express's delicious, authentically cooked American Chinese cuisine. Whether it's eating with someone you love or while watching the team you love, you can pick from tasty options like orange chicken, honey walnut shrimp, Kung Pao chicken, and black pepper sirloin steak.

1:03:47Bill Simmons:Have you eaten yet? Order now or visit a Panda Express near you. This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Life's full of little surprises like spilling coffee everywhere five minutes before a meeting or reaching for a diaper and realizing the bag is empty. Kind of like draft night. You think you know the plan, then everything changes. Look, life can be unpredictable, but everyday shopping does not have to be. With great savings on essentials, Amazon helps you cover the basics and the surprises because when life throws you a curve ball, it's nice knowing there's a place you can count on, Amazon.

1:04:20Bill Simmons:Save on essentials, save the everyday. All right, you just saw a house with CR. Now we've gone in a time machine backwards about 10 hours house and we're gonna do some mailbag questions. I had so many good mailbag questions, people sending them into BS podcast 33 at gmail.com. You came on and did the mailbag with me, I think last month. And you said after, I just had a great time. It's a true story. I love the mailbag. I'm not as sure that I'm allowed to talk about your re-Apex, but the reintroduction of the mailbag into your steady stream of content is welcome and America loves it. Yeah, when I started my column on this Boston Sports Guide in 97, I think the mailbag was like the third one I ever did.

1:05:07Bill Simmons:It was encouraging people to send emails. So I'm glad they're still happening. I have a bunch of good ones for us. First one is from Chad H., who made a request. Oh. Would prefer if you could answer this one with house for obvious reasons. Uh-oh. Yeah. Where do you think this is going? There are two or three possibilities, none of which are good. He said, I was so excited for Arby's Steak Nuggets when they came out last year. And then it seemed like they dropped off the face of the earth. It was over before it started. I think this should be an NBA award. Who is this year's Arby's Steak Nuggets NBA Player of the Year, named for the player that showed such early promise, and then for one reason or another, completely fell off the map?

1:05:52Bill Simmons:Wow. Tremendous question. Really good. I have a good answer for this that I can go first unless you want to jump in. I need you to go first, but I will say in Arby's defense, part of the allure of the Nuggets was their scarcity. It was a limited time run, a limited edition. Now, I'm not suggesting that whatever player you have in mind and one that I'll think of in the next 35 seconds also should be scarce or should be a limited run. But there's nothing keeping Arby's from bringing back the Steak Nuggets in the same way that this player that we're going to talk about could ascend yet. So the scarcity, I think what we're landing on here is it had to be somebody we felt like was going to be in our life more consistently.

1:06:38Bill Simmons:And then it was abruptly over. Okay. But we know next season, the player is going to come back much like the Arby's steak nuggets. So the candidates to me are basically anyone on Charlotte. We could go with Conk Nipple that we thought we were going to get a great playoff run from him. All of a sudden it was over. He didn't win Rookie of the Year. It's just abrupt. I think the answer is Jalen Duren who I voted for second. I voted for him second team on NBA. You're getting daily content out of this now. He hurt your feelings. You're really in your feelings about this. I really believed. I had him second team on NBA.

1:07:17Bill Simmons:I want to write into the NBA and see if I can change my vote even though I already sent it in. He's been so bad in these playoffs for him, for somebody that I thought was just impactful and consistent night after night. And now it just seems like he's a mess that I wonder if it's, but he's still playing. So I don't know if that qualifies. So I was trying to think of teams that came out hot and then fell off at the beginning of the season. We thought, oh, look at this team. And then they fell off, but I can't really come up with anybody that fits that very well. Does Giannis qualify? Like the version of the Bucs that we all lost money on because we thought that the Bucs were going to be really something this season.

1:07:56And we got tiny tastes of him and like, oh, Collins. Look at this, what he's done in terms of they've got the role players. It looks like this Bucs team could be something. It was very fleeting. It tasted good for a minute and now it's gone.

1:08:12Bill Simmons:Yeah, that's pretty good. I think that's probably the answer. there was like this when Giannis came back and the Bucks had hung around in it but the thing is like the RB Steak Nuggets came out of nowhere Giannis we'd had for years and years so I do feel like it has to be like a fast riser guy oh a player that we didn't anticipate well you know it could be Lamello too like we didn't realize this Lamello thing with it that's the answer I like that one yeah it abruptly ended and then we were mad at him and he just did a bunch of dumb things and we don't know where he went. All right, we'll go with LaMelo.

1:08:50Bill Simmons:Alex from Virginia said, I know you and Zach are old white guys. Good start. And maybe you need Van Lathan to inform you of important information that the beautiful Angel Reese used to date Jalen Duren. Now she is the proud girl of Wendell Carter and has taunted Duren on Instagram during this series. So Carter may have taken Angel Reese, outplayed Duren in a series and potentially even sent him home as a 1-800 dog, Wendell needs respect. So I didn't know about this till yesterday. So maybe that is because I'm an old white guy because she did an Instagram of Kane on the magic who raising Kane came out of nowhere and dunked right on Duren's head.

1:09:31Bill Simmons:And she did an Instagram post about it and has been, I guess, I'm not really on social like that. So sometimes I miss stuff and I definitely miss this storyline. I wish we could have incorporated it into our bet. I feel like we might have even taken Orlando Moneyline if we had known this was a factor. But anyway, did you know about this as another old white guy? Game by game. I'm familiar with who she's dating now. I'm familiar with this current relationship. I didn't know the entirety of the history. I will say since game two with Orlando, I've thought that Orlando has been super live And I'm sure we were covering it in the portion with CR.

1:10:17So I won't elaborate right now.

1:10:22Bill Simmons:Zach wants to know, for all the times you mentioned people saying Denver beat no one on the way to their championship in 23. I didn't say I felt this way, but this is a thing that people are saying now, that Denver's only won one title. They didn't beat anyone that year. Zach wants us to remember that all the experts picked both the Lakers and the Suns to win the West a year. And the Suns team was allegedly stacked. And the whole reason I started listening to your podcast in the first place is you were the only voice outside Denver that genuinely believed the Nuggets could win. I just feel like I need to defend our only championship as we potentially fall apart this year.

1:10:54Bill Simmons:It is one of those stupid narratives because Denver was not on the radar like that. And people did think it was going to be Lakers. I don't remember what the Suns Nuggets line was that series, but I think people felt like that was going to be even. Right. I loathe this. I loathe it. that is to say the storyline about a team with an undeserved NBA championship outcome. The only one within modern era that you could possibly take issue with, poke holes in, is the summer camp championship that the Lakers won. That's exactly right. Everything else, come on. Did you see what Davis said about that? He felt like they didn't even really totally win.

1:11:35Bill Simmons:And it was so weird there. And it was just completely different. Sounds like every other Davis. That makes sense to me. Yeah. Shocker. No, I thought Denver, you know, when they played Miami, Miami was like a giant killer at that point. They'd taken out a lot of good teams. And you could make the case. The only thing you could really ding Denver on, it's not their fault, was Drogic got hurt. And Drogic wasn't the same in the finals. And I think that would have been a really live finals for Miami if Drogic is healthy. I don't know if they would have won. We have examples of teams that suffer an injury in that way, either as the finals get started during the course of the finals.

1:12:12NBA history is replete with those examples. Denver earned that title. It was legit. That's how I feel. You can pave it however you saw the path because they encountered this and that. Every champion of the last 50 years has those kinds of weird oddities.

1:12:28Bill Simmons:If we're going to do that with teams and pick the 24 Celtics or another team, we're like, oh, who'd they play? If we're going to do that with half the titles, then we should swing the other way. And we should talk about the 2011 Mavericks title reverentially, where they went through every good team in the West. I think they were underdogs. They beat Portland in a series they were down on. They swept the Lakers. They beat OKC when OKC was really scary. And then upset this Miami team that everybody thought was going to win eight straight titles. Then we should talk about Dirk reverentially. We should talk about the 2011 Mavs all the time.

1:13:05Bill Simmons:You can't have it both ways. That's fine. All roads aren't equal. We, we, but they're all hard. I mean, I'm not, well, why were you trying to win 16 playoff games? Yeah. It's hard to win 16 playoff games. We're on the same page with that. I don't want to get into the business of, of, uh, yeah, we're on the same side. Yeah. Cause you look at OKC this year, they get Phoenix in round one. They're going to get Lakers, Rockets, you know, that, that winner in round two. And then, um, you know, potentially San Antonio, uh, Denver, whatever. happens. And maybe who knows if one of those teams is even going to be fully healthy in that series.

1:13:43Bill Simmons:So I don't know. You could do this all the time. This one I did not know about, and I checked today and it was not a big deal. It was brought to my attention by Dave Workman who said, did you hear Jay Moore's latest pod with Vlade Divac? Now there is a really funny part of this where Vlade explains why they took Marvin Bagley over Luka because they already had this leader in De 'Aaron Fox who was happy to be in a small market and he thought Luca was a big market guy. It might not be a fit. It was like insane. It was like he had six years to workshop it. Anyway, Dave says, obviously he's married to Jeannie Buss.

1:14:23Bill Simmons:When they were talking about Luca, he said, quote, I knew about the Luca trade for like six weeks because of Jeannie had to keep my mouth shut. And I was like, don't trade AD, that's crazy. And then he asked thoughts. Okay. So this goes back to a great conspiracy bill thing that I've even tried to badger Rich Paul, who does a podcast for The Ringer about. I feel like way more people than everyone claims knew about this Luka trade. I'm just always going to believe it. You've been saying it from the very beginning. I'm always going to say it. I'm always going to... Cuban pretends he didn't know.

1:14:59Bill Simmons:The Dumonts pretended they didn't know until the last minute. Jason Kidd, who I wouldn't say has like an awesome truth history. He claimed he didn't know. JJ Reddick said he knew at the last second. It was basically... Out of every single person so far, I believe JJ the most. And I think Jeannie even said, yeah, we didn't know until the last second. Well, now your boyfriend just went on, or now your husband went on a podcast and said he knew for six weeks. I mean, the proof was in the pudding. You spelled it out immediately. 80 waved the trade kicker. That's it. That's all you need to know. AD waived the trade kicker almost overnight for reasons that remain unclear because he was fine with the trade because he wasn't 100 % happy in LA.

1:15:41Bill Simmons:And I just, I, I, what would you say over under people that know I'm going, if I give you over now, over under nine and a half, would you go over? I thought you, I thought you were going to set it at 15 and a half because think about everybody in that on the two ownership groups, right? Those ownership groups are, uh, you know, have, have, uh, minority owners, whatever. Yeah. Nine and a half isn't over for me. Okay. This is one of the reasons I wanted to have you on. A fantastic email from Fergus Collins. All right, Fergus. I'm from Ireland. I mostly follow Irish sports, but I'm also a Celtics fan.

1:16:16Bill Simmons:Why does following Rory McIlroy and following the Celtics feel like the exact same emotional rollercoaster? They both give me the most hope for success to a fan, while also giving me the greatest chance of a dramatic collapse. The Celtics lost two 20-point leads against the Knicks last year. McIlroy ties the round with Scottie in the 18th and Ryder Cup. The Heat upset the Celtics in the playoffs. Rory throws a four-shot final round lead in the Masters in 2011. Going up six on Saturday in Augusta. Countless articles about how no go for his ever-sorner major. Then he's talking about the Celtics favored to win the East.

1:16:52Bill Simmons:Scrappy team, but always blows lead. He goes on and on. And he said, how did I end up with both of these people in my life, basically? What a great analogy because Rory is the most talented. I mean, other than Scotty, he's the most talented golfer. Yeah. And it's always like... And over the last 20 years, he's really, you know, he's been in that upper, upper, upper echelon. And he, the greatest enemy to Rory is himself. And in a lot of ways, I felt the same way about the Celtics the last few years. Even the other night in Portland, in Philly, when they're up in game four by 25. And I'm like, I'm fucking...

1:17:28Bill Simmons:I still have my seatbelt on. I'm fully prepared for them to just take 10 terrible threes in a row and all of a sudden we're up seven. There's something about their style of play. I just never feel safe, which I think is exactly the same feeling as Rory. So I actually think this is really good. It's great. Never feel safe with Rory, any lead whatsoever. I mean, going to bed Friday night with that six-stroke lead, you know, the conversations in my threads were like, you know, how is this going to get tightened up? We all know that the six strokes are going to evaporate by hook or by crook. The only thing I wonder about, and it is a tremendous job by Fergus.

1:18:07Rory has an element of unmet potential because there was a 10-year gap between the majors that he won. was there a point since you know the the Celtics won in 24 so they finally got the the Jays the championship but it felt like that was on time it didn't feel like the Jays should have won a championship earlier than that to me no they should have won in 22 they just weren't ready to win it

1:18:37Bill Simmons:yeah I agree they were better they had a better curry just that was curry and the Warriors infrastructure and the okay the Celts not being ready yet but I think if you walk go back and watch those games it's like oh my god how did they not pull this off it was just curry was the know-how you couldn't compete with it that's right um i agree 20 in the bubble is interesting because i don't think they were really ready that year and they had the kembal walker piece of it but they really went toe-to-toe with all those teams that year and um that was easily one that could have made the finals and then 18 that game seven against cleveland we you know one of lebron's greatest games ever.

1:19:16Bill Simmons:He plays all 48 minutes. And it's basically just LeBron against the Celtics. What did they miss? 100 threes? So they would have made the finals. So if you say this whole run from when they got Al Horford all the way to now, and it's basically they've only made the finals twice, I would say that's a slight underachieved for the potential. Okay. Yeah, because you would point to, for Rory, the U.S. Open that he coughed up against Bryson when Bryson snatched it on the 18th hole with Rory missing a short putt. Or Rory lost the Open Championship, Cam Smith, a couple years ago. Shot a super low score and Rory couldn't get any birdies to roll in.

1:19:51So it was right there on a Sunday on the back nine of those championships and couldn't get it across the line.

1:19:56Bill Simmons:And last year too, they blow two 20-point leads to the Knicks and then Tatum gets hurt and they squander that series. Indiana ends up making it and taking OKC to seven. And OKC's young and not totally ready yet. And who knows what the Celtics would have been. But I think that's a good analogy. I think we're going to look back at how they had Tatum and Brown basically coming in at the same time a year apart, which is impossible now in this day and age to keep two guys like that who are that expensive together. But they also had cap space and a great GM. And they're like, man, they only made two finals.

1:20:35Bill Simmons:That's why I think there's some pressure on them this year. That's a great point. You know what I mean? It's like, wow, why didn't we make more finals than that? We had these two guys the whole time. It's important. Speaking of Tatum, Xavier in New York says, Dante DiVincenzo, they said he already went full Tatum surgery. Are we at the point where that should just be what it's called? Like how Tommy John became TJ, tear it, fix it immediately, no debate. Tatum bounced back. Have we now created the JT surgery? Because so much of it depends on how fast players get it after they tear their Achilles.

1:21:09Bill Simmons:You have to repair it immediately. You have a better chance to come back. will this be called the Tatum surgery? I can't stand for it. And it's not because I have any particular feelings for the player that I think it's appropriately assigned to. But we lived through it with Aaron Rodgers. Aaron Rodgers was threatening coming back and playing football games the season right after. But Aaron Rodgers got the different surgery, though. He got the quickie surgery. Tatum got the one where... He did it immediately. Yeah, but he got the one that allowed him to come back faster. Tatum got the one where they did the full heel, but they did it within 10 hours of the injury.

1:21:52Bill Simmons:And they feel like that allowed it to come back 100%. I do feel like he might have... The doctor who did it might have created some new version of this. All right. I don't know. I don't like having Tatum's name involved with a surgery is my least favorite part of this. How long did it take Kobe? I feel like Kobe was his comeback. But then he got hurt again. Okay. Yeah, he came back, but then hurt something else. I threw this at Zach. I wanted to get your take from Rob from Penascola. Could you consider renaming the Ewing Theory after Trae Young? Got a few of these about the Hawks without Trae Young are eligible.

1:22:26Bill Simmons:My take was pretty steadfast. He wasn't good enough to be eligible for the Ewing Theory, and I don't feel like anybody thought the Hawks were screwed when they traded him. You're down with that, right? No, and also, I feel like an element of Ewing Theory includes a kind of immediacy. Like the player is supposed to be part of your plan and the player is lost and you're not expected. Like Edwards getting hurt right now. Minnesota makes the finals without Edwards. That's the Ewing theory. That would be the Ewing theory. Exactly. Trey Young had already been marginalized. Like the direction of the team with the trades that they made, the acquisitions, the off-season acquisitions, the direction of the team, they were looking to...

1:23:06I feel like they knew what they had with Trey. you know the answer to this because they didn't extend him like if he was the most important player to them then they would have extended him so I don't ever criticize anyone for trying you know let's be creative here everybody's innovating with the theory but I feel like we have to visit don't forget what the bones of it are

1:23:27Bill Simmons:which was a superstar that the media felt was the single biggest reason the team would win the title gets hurt Everybody writes off, gets hurt or traded or whatever. Everybody writes off the team and then they do better without him. That is fundamentally what the Ewing theory is. Edwards would be an example. Another one would be like if Jalen Brunson sprained an ankle or something and all of a sudden the Knicks started running stuff through towns and were much better without Brunson, basically. And we were like, whoa, it's a different Knicks team, but are they better? And that would be an example of the Ewing theory.

1:24:01Bill Simmons:Like, oh my God, we're so screwed. We don't have Brunson and then he's better. And it would be the Knicks. I mean, that would be pretty interesting. Or if the Celtics last year, if Tatum had got hurt and they came back from 3-1 and made the finals, and then... Sure. Yeah. It has to be that level of player. Will Hanselman from Chicago writes, I didn't know this. He said a lot of people talk about Ripken's consecutive games played a streak that you love dearly. Or Wilt's 100. I will always think the most unbelievable sports stat is LeBron averaging 27-7-7, over 1 ,600-plus games, but never playing a single game that had the stat line 27, 7, and 7.

1:24:41Bill Simmons:I feel like it's more likely his points record gets broken than whatever the hell that record is. It's the perfect metaphor for a guy whose historical consistency never stops changing and evolving. I had no way to look this up because I'm not smart enough. But if this is true, if he never actually had a 27, 7, 7 while averaging 27-7-7 every year. That's fucking crazy. That's the single... That's crazier than Bam's 83-point game. So please, can somebody tell us once and for all if that is true or not? Let's get somebody to look that up. How is that possible? 127-7-7 for all the games that he played?

1:25:16When you think about it, he made eight straight finals. So you're not just talking about regular season games. You're talking about playoff series after playoff series. And they weren't like, you know, 4-0s or 4-1s. That's a lot of games to not get a 27-7-7.

1:25:33Bill Simmons:It can't be true. John Palmer asks, you'll love this one. Will pulling a Paul George become a thing? Every aging star dealing with injuries should be taking tons of alleged HCH and other alleged banned substances to get stronger and recover faster. The penalty if caught is a 20-plus game mid-season vacation, which you probably would have missed anyway via load management, leaving you more time to recover and train. They come back healthier and better just in time to spin up for the playoffs. They're giving up money, of course. But what were the other negative consequences for Paul George? Again, this is from John Palmer.

1:26:12Bill Simmons:So here's the thing. Paul George has looked really good in the Sixers Celtics series. Like he, I talked to this with Zach on Sunday night. It's like, I feel like he's resuscitated his trade value. so he cost himself what 10 million with the suspension but he's resuscitated himself as an asset whereas March with Big Waz he was the second pick in our worst contract strap I don't think he would be the second pick anymore so I love the concept of pulling a Paul George in general and trying to guess who would do this next year it's like oh Zach Levine he's pulling a Paul George no it's gotta be somebody good who needs the rest somebody like Draymond old.

1:26:53Yeah, somebody who needs it in their 30s. We're in that stretch right before the playoffs. That would be, to me, if you're looking for an opportunity for there to be genuine salary cap circumvention, that would be one where the team and the player and its representatives are all like, you know, you felt like just taking a look. Because in terms of NBA public consumership, I feel like it's You don't get as mad at the player for, oh, he got popped for a piss test, as opposed to he's sitting out deliberately because he's resting up for the playoffs. True. I feel like it gives you a pass a little bit to fail the piss test.

1:27:38Bill Simmons:Plus, he brilliantly played the mental health card immediately, right, when he came back. And people were like, okay, didn't realize. And that was it. Barry Bonds was like, fuck, why did I know that in 2004? If only he knew. I was thinking of some of the best pulling of blanks ever. And I think my favorite one is Vince Vaughn and Swingers saying, I want to grab two cocktail which is a pull me a Fredo or whatever he said. Like the pull in a Fredo was my favorite pull in a. But pulling a Paul George, pretty good. And now it's time for a new segment called Era Comp. It is brought to you by New Era, the official cap of the NBA.

1:28:14Bill Simmons:Today's players, I know they're incredible. It's also important to recognize the legends who shaped the game we're watching today. As you know, I love to do this in my podcast constantly, bring up the past, bring up the history, everything. The new era NBA Hardwood Classics Collection celebrates a lot of those iconic moments and players who made that era unforgettable. So let's put the era side by side, the 80s and now. They wanted me to pick up top player now and compare them to a player in the 80s. And this is a little unconventional, but I think there's a lot of Jokic and late 80s Magic Johnson who Magic Johnson was allegedly a point guard.

1:28:54Bill Simmons:He really wasn't. He couldn't guard the other point guard in the other team. He controlled the game. He could post up. He did a lot of stuff with his back to the basket. He controlled the pace of the game. Unbelievable passer. He could score 37 points in a game. He could score 20. He could have 20 assists in the game. He could have eight. He could rebound. he could get triple doubles and was just all over every single game offensively. And I think Joker, even though he's a center, when I watched them, they really remind me of each other. Joker is like the kind of spawn of Bird and Magic, but really closer to the late 80s Magic side, I think, is the comp.

1:29:29Bill Simmons:And when I watch Joker, it's hard not to think of late 80s Magic as Kareem is bald and old and everything had to run through Magic. Anyway, you can relive vintage logos and timeless icons with the new era NBA hardwood classics collection headwear available in a wide range of fitted and adjustable styles. I'm personally an adjustable guy because I have a giant head as well as hardwood classics apparel. Here's what you have to do. You have to visit neweracap.com slash ringer. That is neweracap.com slash ringer. And you can shop now and you can use one-time code ringer for 20 % off your first order.

1:30:05Bill Simmons:Go do it. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I already have my dream job. I run the ringer, argue with Chris Ryan, aka CR, but even dream jobs have not so dreamy parts. You know, the work that slows you down never seems to go away. That's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They're like digital teammates who actually do the job start to finish. No handoffs, no homework. That means more time for the work that actually matters, which for me is talking about whether the 86 Celtics can beat the 96 bulls, which they could. To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com.

1:30:40Bill Simmons:This episode is brought to you by Firestone Complete Auto Care. There are a few things you don't want to overthink, like where you take your car when something feels off. Firestone Complete Auto Care is basically a one-stop shop. Tires, oil, changes, brakes, batteries, alignments, diagnostics, whatever's going on, there are thousands of ASE certified technicians have got it covered. Plus, every visit comes with a courtesy inspection, including free tire and battery checks. Visit FirestoneAuto.com to find a location near you, a trusted name since 1926. D-Bob in New York, he says, I think the streaming resolution, I'm sorry, the streaming revolution of the last seven years was secretly pushed by big advertisement.

1:31:28Bill Simmons:Before streaming, I never watched a commercial in my life. When the game went to break, I flipped channels. If I was watching on DVR, I fast-forwarded. Now I'm taking every second of commercials in because it takes too long to get out of the Amazon or Peacock app. Thoughts? It is true. D-Bob is on the money here. We're on Peacock. First of all, if you leave Peacock, you can't get back for another seven minutes. It auto-locks you out. I thought it was me. I thought that I'm a pretty caveman TV person. Yeah. So I thought it was because I'm using the internet to pull up my streamers. For Peacock?

1:32:09Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I'm doing it. And I thought, oh, I must be the only moron who can't switch from there to ESPN to see what's going on in the hockey game because it will take me another four and a half minutes just to get over to ESPN. So good. This makes me feel better.

1:32:26Bill Simmons:These sports on streamers, I think there's been some real ramifications that we weren't really fully able to assess until these playoffs started. Because when Netflix had the Christmas games, it's like, cool, I'll just pop over and check out the Christmas game or I'll watch the Christmas game. But now in late April, when there's hockey and basketball and baseball on, you really want the ability to maneuver around. And thank God for me, I have multiple TVs and I can keep stuff on. Thank God for you. But if you're a college kid, you have one TV, or if you're at a bar. like somebody was telling me in New York at a bar, you can go from that portion of where that TV over to this portion where the other TV is.

1:33:06Bill Simmons:Somebody was telling me at a bar in New York, they could only have the Amazon on one, one of like the eight TVs because they lock you out after, after it's three devices. So the other seven TVs were like tied to ESPN and baseball. And there was like the one Amazon TV. And I was like, that makes sense. Like I can't even watch Amazon with my dad and my daughter hopping on my Amazon at the same time. We really, this is, we need a sports bar, sports are to really figure all of this out because I just feel like Amazon should relax the device thing for the playoffs and Peacock, same thing, where it should just be like during the playoffs, 25 people can use my Peacock or my Amazon.

1:33:48Bill Simmons:And, and then bar or maybe bars get a special exemption. I don't know. There's gotta be a better way to do this. there's got to be a better way to do this I just want the back function how do I get the back function restored I can't have two TVs yesterday Monday's game the first one ended on Peacock and I wanted to go backwards out of it and I just went into an abyss on the TV I was like Pluto I just skidded sideways this email is no longer timely, but I really liked it. And I feel like we got to figure out how to use it anyway. I am a proud female listener, and I've been riding hard for the pod for decades.

1:34:37Bill Simmons:Now to business. The playoffs start on April 17th, and I need to know, which matchups are you fully locked in for, and which ones are you absolutely not drinking any fucking Merlot on? Do all eight matchups have some Pinot in them, or do any qualify as a Merlot matchup. Maybe you can spend quality time with your family and miss one. And this is written by Nicole B.J. Diamond in Larchmont, New York. I'm just reading the email. Tremendous. What was our... I like the idea of the Merlot matchup, though. I think it was OKC Phoenix was our Merlot matchup. Definitely. I'm only interested in that to get a gauge on whether I'm going to live bet the spread the second and half spread or the fourth quarter.

1:35:26Is OKC going to cover? How am I going to live bet this? That's it. I would check in. Do I want to live bet it?

1:35:32Bill Simmons:I did a FanDuel thing yesterday that actually hit where I had K25 plus, Tobias 15 plus, OKC to win, and Shea 25 plus. So I was rooting for Shea to score. And Shea had five points at the end of the first quarter. And it was really fun because it was like, all right, I'm probably safe here. It's SGA. And then Shea just ripped off like 14 points in like three minutes. And it was like, this is great. I'm having so much fun. It is over. Yeah. Phoenix was very, very, very plucky. They were, they were in that. But it was, it was a really fun way to watch the Merlot matchup between OKC and Phoenix. So next year, I'm just going to bet the over on Shea points.

1:36:14Bill Simmons:But I like the Merlot matchup because we don't have NBA TV anymore. So we needed somebody to replace NBA TV. And it really only applies to round one, right? because we're not going to have... Every matchup in round two is going to be a delight, an absolute full-on banger. Big Reds. We're going to Big Red land, aren't we? Yeah, well, Lakers OKC, if Luka's not back, will be interesting to watch. Isn't Reeves likely to be back? I understand. They're not beating OKC. No, they're not. They would need injuries on the OKC side. Brayden from New Brunswick, Canada. Check the average Roger Goodell hug time for the first rounds of 2026 and 2015 and said my instinct, which I said on Thursday that I thought the hugs were getting longer, is correct.

1:37:04Bill Simmons:In 26, the average hugs were four seconds and 10 years earlier, they were two seconds. And he wonders if this doubles each decade going forward in 2036, eight second hugs. Now, he said this before the guy who stayed in the green room the whole time didn't get picked, the nose tackle, and then got picked and came out at a 19-second hug with Goodell, so that might have even bumped the hug number. Well, you know, that was emotional. The move is somebody should come out, and instead of going for the hug, just a firm handshake. A firm handshake. Like, almost refuse the hug. I just would like to give you a business-like handshake.

1:37:47Bill Simmons:How would Goodell react? Would he pull the guy in Trump style and like just maul him? What would he do? Yeah. It feels like, I mean, cause Goodell isn't tiny. He's not, you know, he's doesn't, he's not dwarfed by these guys. I feel like, yeah, Goodell, he wouldn't, he wouldn't tolerate it. As soon as he gets your hand. Yeah. He's Trump hugging you. Yeah. Why do we, why, why, why are the hugs longer though? What's the explanation for that? I don't know. Oh, I thought that's where we were headed on this whole conversation. Well, we know the hugs are twice as long as they were 10 years ago. So why?

1:38:25Bill Simmons:Is it because Roger's more comfortable? He's like, I own all this shit. I am the man in charge. Let me ask you. You want to hug me. Who have you hugged for more than two seconds in the last 10 years that was a friend of yours? I'm not at liberty to discuss this. I mean, wait a minute. A friend of mine? Yeah, a friend. A male friend. I've had some very When you saw the Holy Cross guys Joey on Happy Let me think about this When you saw Finny and the Holy Cross guys Did you have a four second hug with anyone? You go like this hug and then you go to the arm around each other Bop bop bop bop bop bop bop Yeah those lasted But you didn't go four second full body hug with anyone right?

1:39:06No no no no Not junk to junk I think the guys

1:39:10Bill Simmons:It's like the quick hug and then the back clap It's a handshake, you're tight and then I like the arms around the shoulders because you've got some stuff to chop it up on. The arms around the shoulder extends the hug, but it's not like a full... Nobody goes genital to genital. Which, that was my favorite... Did he do that? Goodell didn't do that for four seconds with anybody. He goes full straight on, like hugs. This is what... Remember, this is my favorite NBA draft moment ever. Darius Miles and David Stern went full waist-to-waist genitals to genitals hug for some reason. And it's one of the funniest photos of all time.

1:39:47Bill Simmons:Let's get the clip. Let's run the clip. Listener Bill Dahl said, I am a Wizards season ticket holder. I'm sorry, Bill. My hot take is that LeBron is coming to DC this summer. No, he's not. Here's the evidence. He was incredibly complimentary of the Wizards Young Corps and Steve Nash's podcast. I like that he called it Steve Nash's podcast. It's LeBron and Steve Nash podcast. Number two, he was seen hanging out with Jaden Daniels, post-Lakers game. Number three, he's a good fit with Trey and Anthony Davis, his old buddy. It's LeBron's team, nobody's else. Number four, shifting the Michael-LeBron narrative by actually winning in D.C.

1:40:30Bill Simmons:Somewhere Michael couldn't even make the playoffs in. Could not play in the go-combo. Now that this is spoken to the ethos, it won't happen, but maybe those of us up in the 400s will actually get some decent basketball here in the nation's capital, a guy can dream. I like the MJ angle. That's tremendous. MJ finished here. I did too, and I made the conference finals with Anthony Davis and Trey Young. It is kind of fun. I mean, that team with him on it, they would be better than any team that MJ played with during MJ's era here. Can we talk it out for a second? So you'd have Trey Young, Anthony Davis, LeBron James, Alex Saar, and who's your shooting guard?

1:41:13Bill Simmons:who the shooting, it can't be Koulibaly, right? It would be Keyshawn George. Keyshawn George. Yeah, we like him. Yeah. Yeah, he's good. We do, we like him with good reason. And a little Trey off the bench. Yeah. I don't know. That could be, talk myself into 45 wins. It's a low 40s. Yeah, to 45. It's, it could win, they could win a round in the playoffs. His goal could be like, look, this LeBron versus MJ thing I brought to the table, I've played way longer. I threw an alley-oop to my son in a playoff game. And now I've won a round one series in Washington. I've done three things Michael Jordan couldn't do.

1:41:55Bill Simmons:Also, I was never maybe secretly suspended by David Stern because of gambling. So there's four. Great, great point. Speaking of conspiracies, this is from Peter L. Assume the conspiracy theory that the NBA draft lottery is rigged is real. and you've just been appointed the commissioner with these powers, how are you arranging the first four picks in the upcoming draft lottery? Wow. It's a great question. We had this conversation, what was it, a month ago? Yeah. Who did we say was going to be the funniest to win? Well, Golden State. Oh, Golden State. Yeah. Well, that's not the funniest. That's an actual, genuine, like, that's a conspiracy.

1:42:38Well, that's what he's saying.

1:42:40Bill Simmons:So, all right. So I get the commissioner job. I'd obviously immediately hire you as my Mark Tatum. I'd let you announce all the second round picks. And now I'll announce the second round Joe House. So the lottery teams we have, I'll just give you the top 12. Well, I'll give you all of them. Washington, this is an order of one to 14 for odds. So Washington, Indiana, and Brooklyn all have 14%. Utah, Sacramento, 11.5. Memphis, New Orleans, Dallas, Chicago, Milwaukee, Golden State, OKC. They're out. Not fixing anything for them. They're too good already. They don't need help. Miami and Charlotte. So if we're rigging this, Golden State has to be in the top four because it's our last chance to save Steph.

1:43:25Bill Simmons:So it's more a question of who is the best guy for him to play with. And I actually think it's Caleb Wilson. Wow. Okay. So I'm happy just putting them at four so they end up with Caleb Wilson, even though I'm becoming increasingly concerned he could go, not for him, but for the Boozer family. I think he's going to leapfrog Boozer. I think his tape is too crazy. Like, I really think you'd have to, if we were in the room, I feel like we would spend enough time scouting these tapes and at some point look at each other and be like, we got to take Wilson. Like, this guy is a fucking freak. Man, I watched so much Boozer and he was so tough.

1:44:05I thought he was NBA ready every time I watched him play. I understand the limitations. I think there's a ceiling, right? He is not the guy I would have for Golden State. That's totally fair. That makes tons of sense.

1:44:17Bill Simmons:All right, so we'll put Golden State four and we'll give them Wilson. So now we have three teams before. Charlotte has 2.4 % odds, but can we have them jump to three and take Boozer? Oh, wow. Wow. Right? That's pretty good. Lamello, Kahn, Bridges, Boozer, and who am I leaving? That's pretty good. Who am I leaving now? Oh, and Brandon Miller. And then Diabate, that's a fun team. Diabate, that's who I was thinking of. Atlanta, too, I was thinking because of Peterson. Adding Peterson to what they have now as the CJ McCollum understudy, eventually moving in. It's not going to matter if he doesn't have a personality because that team has a lot of personalities already.

1:45:07So that's the New Orleans pick?

1:45:08Bill Simmons:That'd be the New Orleans pick. Atlanta moves up. So I'm thinking them at two. And then number one, like, why not Joe House? Why not Washington? Why can't you have Devansa? Why not? I would definitely fix it for me. That goes without saying. But I think Devansa, it's the most fun teams for him would be Washington or Utah for him to go in right away. And then in this scenario, the Clippers get the fifth pick. And that would be really fun too. and Indiana would not get any of the top four picks. Right, because five to nine, the Clippers keep it? Is that what it is? Yeah, it's basically five or six they keep it.

1:45:41Bill Simmons:It can't go lower than six. Now, I do love Indiana, and I'd feel bad if they didn't get the pick, but I don't know. Why did they put the protection on it then? They shouldn't have put that protection on it. Yeah, also, why did you give up all of that for Zubats? There's a lot to give up. Well, Zubats, I think, is going to be awesome on that team. I know, but that's a top four pick in this draft? Yeah. It's a fair. I don't know. Now that we're here and that they could actually lose the pick, this draft is fucking incredible. It's going to be really good. The other one I was thinking... Because that would mean like Pippers getting Acuff or something.

1:46:15Bill Simmons:Well, the other thing you could do, you put Indiana in that Darren Peterson spot at two. And then you put Atlanta fifth. And Atlanta gets our guy Acuff at five. Who I think the combination of Acuff and Atlanta, His name ends with first letters in A. There's like some A, double A stuff. Okay. His game in Atlanta could be really special. Yeah, like I feel like he'd be a hero in Atlanta pretty quickly. And they can run. I mean, they can definitely play at face. So is that our answer for the fixing? Do it again. I think I agree. I know I agree with Washington number one. DeBansa won to Washington.

1:46:56Bill Simmons:Peterson to Indiana, two. Boozer to Charlotte, three. Um, and then Golden State gets, gets Wilson at four. Atlanta at five. Atlanta at five takes Acuff. Acuff. And then there's one more team I wanted to take care of. Oh, we better go bet this. No, number six. Dallas has to get top six because they need to get either Acuff or, uh, or Wogler from Illinois. I want, I want Dallas to fuck off. I'd like to invite the Dallas Mavericks organization. Their fans are like so traumatized. Come on. I understand. This isn't, they, they, they already. All right. So that'll be our top five. Yeah. Okay. All right.

1:47:40Bill Simmons:Good question. Glad we talked that one out. Corey writes in, I'm 25 years old from the Bay Area and a lifelong Warriors fan trying to come to grips with the fact that Steph Curry will be retiring sooner than later. My basketball life will be changed forever unless the expendables happens. I imagine this is similar to how you felt when Larry Bird was nearing the end of his career. What advice do you have for coping with the loss of one of the greats? House was in my place a couple of times in the mid nineties when I would break out old bird Celtics tapes because the Celtics were so depressing. It was all I had to go back and watch old playoff games.

1:48:11And honestly, Corey, welcome to your future.

1:48:15Bill Simmons:If it gets super depressing with the Warriors, all you have are the old tapes and reliving Curry games. And I had a two and a half foot bong at the time. That was really helpful. You did. That's true. To get super baked and watch all the Celtic games and pretend they're happening live. I've talked about that. But that would be my advice. That's what the post-curry era, because you're never, it's just never going to happen again. This is once in a generation. You get somebody like that. You're never. And, you know, you look at it so fondly. You say, I can't believe I was so lucky to enjoy that.

1:48:48And you, in the same way that Corey's being prepared, I mean, Steph is missing big chunks of regular seasons now. Yeah. Um, and, and, you know, bird was, was so broken at the end. It did. Right. We knew. Yeah, we knew.

1:49:01Bill Simmons:We knew. Yeah. Um, Paul and last, I got a few people who mentioned, and this has been on the internet to Tatum Halliburton, Lillard and DiVincenzo all had the number zero and all tore their Achilles. Okay. Do you have to be zero from did not. Do you have to be crazy at this point to have number zero? Is this like a jinx number? Would you change your number if you were a zero at this point? I was making the joke about Gilbert Arenas as agent zero, but he did have a debilitating leg injury. Yeah, what's up with zero? And the Wizards did give him a giant extension anyway. Are there any more zeros right now?

1:49:39I mean, the answer is definitely yes. Oh, no. Tyrese Maxey's a zero. Oh, okay. Off-season number change. We need it. Jalen Dern, Christian Brown,

1:49:50Bill Simmons:Kulibaly on your team. I'm just out on zero. Don't get rid of the zero. We've seen too much damage at this point. Kelly from Iowa, I know you'd like this one. Kelly from Iowa wants to know, can we please have Babydoll get Waymo to sponsor Tiger Woods? Come on, baby, who loses here? I love the idea of Babydoll taking on Tiger Woods as a client and trying to keep it low and just calling different people in his life and making it seem like you're the only person he's told. and meanwhile he would tell 150 people in five hours? Everybody would know and there'd be pictures of Tiger in a Waymo. I do like, why couldn't Waymo offer Tiger like$50 million to be the first Waymo sponsor?

1:50:33Bill Simmons:It's actually a great idea. That is kind of brilliant. I mean, you know, we have to get to the point where we can have a little bit of a chuckle maybe. I mean, it's tough to have a sense of humor. We obviously just reached it right now. Like, what's a little Waymo sponsor for him? Um, Chaze from Kenton, Ohio. I didn't know about this. Said that Cavs had a social media playoff theme in 2026. That they called be the fucking difference for their fans. Oh, okay. But they blotted out all the letters in fucking and just kept the C. So the t-shirts read be the C diff. And then apparently C diff is the shorthand for close triodides difficile, which is a bacterial infection, severe watery diarrhea and abdominal pain.

1:51:24Bill Simmons:One of the most known treatments is mixing your poop with the poop. If someone you share bacteria with is hit to a dried up poop pellet they put in your stomach. I'm not even joking. It was to know where does this stand in your pyramid of poop jokes? How could the calves win the title of the postseason theme of be the C diff? And would anything funny have ever happened? You know what would actually be funnier is if they got bounced in round one after B the C diff became a thing. Yeah, apparently this is a thing that happened. This is amazing. Poor Cleveland deserves it. The fans deserve better.

1:52:02Now, they did have LeBron for all the time that they had. Yeah, they did win the LeBron lottery. And he did the little bit of a championship, but you know. Yeah.

1:52:08Bill Simmons:Yeah. So if you Google this, I can't believe they did that. How did they not Google that? Mitch from Carlsbad wants to know, you and Zach touched upon Kevin Durant's complicated legacy a bit on Sunday. Too often, his Olympic performances aren't discussed, and they should be. He was often the best player on the floor. He'd be dinked for a lot of things, including leadership skills, lack of the same team jumping. But I do think his Olympic performances should be mentioned. You agree with this. Totally agree with this. And the same goes for Melo. Like part of what, you know, when those guys play with their peers and their peers find them and their peers, you know, revere the performance at that level and let them, you know, sort of take over the way that they have.

1:52:58That to me just says so much about, you know, who that player is in their era. Yeah. And so KD's ability to do it across, what is it, five golds? Is that what he ended up with? That is something that needs to be mentioned. It's a top line on the resume for me. One of the top four lines on the resume.

1:53:20Bill Simmons:Maybe his legacy is he couldn't plan the bachelor party, and he might have been a wild card at the bachelor party, but there's a bunch of different scenarios where he would have been really fun at the bachelor party. The MVP of the bachelor party. He might have been the MVP of the bachelor party. Didn't plan it. Didn't pick the location. You had to kind of fight for him to get there. But then he was tremendous for two straight days. Yeah. Elevated everybody. Elevated the whole thing. But if you put him in charge, it might not have gone great. Sure. That's fair. We've all got friends like that.

1:53:51Bill Simmons:We'll never go to a bachelor party again. We don't know. Who says who? We'd have to have somebody our age divorce. Second marriage? Yeah. Well, that happens. Do second marriage people have a bachelor party? I sure hope so. I haven't been invited to one, but I would go. Chris wants to know, is Zima Adoka getting himself fired the most underrated key to Boston's continued success? I can only imagine how quickly he would have mentally broken and buried Cato, Walsh, and Shireman and how the Celtics offense would look with Chris Bruchet and Xavier Tillman standing around while Tatum and Brown played iso ball.

1:54:25Bill Simmons:The Rockets are a bad sequel to the 22 Celtics in the finals. Now, I don't think that's totally fair because they did make the finals. They did have some good wins. The offense was really rough, and we blame Tatum and Brown a lot. And now we're watching the Rockets basically do the exact same thing. Game four, Zach and I talked about on Sunday, was the first time they actually were like, hey, we should maybe attack Luke Kennard and spread out. And it was pretty bad. What was your EMA take? Well, I honestly, the longer this has gone on, I'm subscribing to the theory that there is some dysfunction in the decision-making, guys are not all on the same page inside the building at Houston because the Reed Shepard bit is inexplicable.

1:55:11Our guy Raheem Palmer has been loudly all season long saying you've got to get Shepard his minutes. It doesn't matter how you feel about his contribution. He needs to be ready for right now because Houston, for whatever reason, thought they could play this season without a point guard. I do want to go back, by the way, you guys, you and Zach on Sunday show in entirely appropriately giving CJ McCollum his flowers. You, me and Zach sat in your studio and I said, Hey Houston, go get CJ mother effing McCollum. He's going to be available. Before the season. October. Yeah. October of 2025. And look at this guy in the playoffs, but be that as it may, EMA to me, like we, even as early as November, you're watching end of game sequences and it didn't make sense who was getting the ball.

1:56:04It didn't make sense the way the rotations were playing. I feel like there's something going on inside that building where personnel and EMA are not on the same page.

1:56:15Bill Simmons:Yeah, I would look at it when you're talking about point guards that you know you're going to need in the playoffs. It's almost like scuba diving where you need to get X amount of hours to become an official scuba diver that can go 100 feet under the sea or whatever it is. I don't scuba dive, as you can tell. But it's like, you can't do this until you've had this number of hours of instruction and now you're finally allowed to go below this level. Your body's got to acclimate to the pressure. Yeah, to me, it's like, I know it's probably going to be frustrating at that fund to play this guy 25 to 30 minutes a game, but you're going to have to do it because in April, this is going to be your one chance to do anything because Fred Van Vliet's not coming back.

1:56:55Bill Simmons:Yeah. The crazier thing, though, is that they didn't trade for Dasone Mu or Kobe White. I just don't understand the thinking of that at all. Nothing at the trade deadline. I mean, the Pistons, too. We said this at the time when the Pistons were like, Kevin Herter, we're good. It's like, you're not necessarily good. Doesn't feel like enough. Yeah. Last question. This is from Chris Krause, who for some reason was thinking of car-centric movies that I could parody with Con Canipple. Feel free to add your own, he said. but here are the ones he came up with. Driving Miss Daisy. Instead of solving racism, Bill teaches Khan the value of 1980s pop culture and why being on his phone less than allowing himself to be bored is good.

1:57:35Bill Simmons:Speed. Instead of having to keep the car at a set mile an hour, Bill and Khan have to keep podcasting. What will run out first, their gas or list of topics? And then his last one, collateral. Bill already has the silver haired look, so he's obviously the Tom Cruise assassin, But in this scenario, it's Khan realizing Bill is driving to the houses of his least favorite internet trolls. Close shot of Khan looking terrified as Bill beats a keyboard warrior to death with a copy of the book of basketball. If any of these are made, I only recruit producer credit. House? Yep. These are my listeners. This guy wants me to remake collateral with Khan Knipple where I beat people to death with a book of basketball that trolled me on the internet.

1:58:18Bill Simmons:Pretty phenomenal. I don't know where these questions come from, but I love all of them. Great job, Krause. Before we go, how do you feel about Sonny Stiles? You happy? Oh, I'm over the moon. I just couldn't believe that he fell to seven for this. I mean, this is why I'm out here repping the squad. I think what Washington did on defense, and Stiles is a perfect fit for our new defensive coordinator, the guy from Minnesota. He's so versatile. He's so fast. He's so athletic. It's going to be a great fit. He's already, you know, the team has already embraced him. Amazing job. Two things dear to your heart where he was the only one that noticed$100 at the end of the playbook allegedly and mailed it back.

1:59:03Great story. Whether it's true or not, it's a great story.

1:59:05Bill Simmons:Great story. And then unbelievable high school basketball mixtape. Oh, outrageous. You love nothing more than that. The football player high school mixtape. Put that on repeat. I made myself... Even when Drake May had one, you went nuts and you didn't even pitch rank me. But that, I mean, you know, that gives your brain like, oh, he could do all of these things. Look at this. It's great. I really, if I was in the war room, I would really factor that in, the high school basketball mixtape. Like, look how generous he is with the ball and his teammates. Like this, maybe he'll be this way as a teammate.

1:59:38It counts, it counts. I mean, Hoops IQ is not a small thing.

1:59:42Bill Simmons:All right. House, thanks for doing the mailbag with me. I appreciate it. Always a pleasure. Thank you for inviting me. See you on Fairway, Roland, and on the Ringer Gambling Show as well if you want to check out Morehouse. Happy playoffs. All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to House and CR. Thanks to Eduardo and Gahau as well. Don't forget Ghostbusters. That is the new rewatchables, and it's up, and you can listen to it, and you have six days to watch. There's something about Mary because that's going to be the next one. I will see you on this feed on Thursday night. God only knows what's going to happen with the basketball these next couple nights, but we will have a big action-packed podcast on Thursday, probably taping at least the first part of it right after the game.

2:00:23Bill Simmons:So I will see you on Thursday. Go Suckers.

2:01:10Bill Simmons:Thank you. gamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPENY in New York for Louisiana. Call 877-770-7867.