The 2026 Made-Up NBA Awards With Zach Lowe

21:32I got one email.

21:34Bill Simmons:I got one email from a disgruntled Hawks fan. Look, if the Cavs, the Hawks are a very good team. And this has been one of the few, we're going to get to this. It's been one of the great stories of the NBA season, this sort of identity post-Trey Young that they have. It was like half of their identity with Trey Young and then it just blew up and became their whole identity once he was gone. and the awkwardness was lifted away from them. And they're a million and just a few losses in their last 25 games. They've been outrageous. If Cleveland can't beat the Hawks in a first-round series in which they have home court advantage, if they're even wobbling in fear of the Atlanta Hawks, just break it up already.

22:15Bill Simmons:If Cleveland lost to the Hawks in round one, they will be in trade podcasts that I do, you do, we do together, everyone else does. They'll just be the number one go-to team for all Giannis trades. Like, Palo, pick a guy. Is it time to trade Mitchell? Oh, the Knicks are out too? Here we go. Mitchell to the Knicks. Like, it'll just set up a chain reaction. It's time. We're going to take a break. And then the 2026 made-up NBA awards. Here we go. A lot of pressure. The Bill Simmons Podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. The NBA postseason is here, and FanDuel knows the only thing better than watching your favorite team win is winning along with them.

22:58Bill Simmons:FanDuel, the best place to bet the teams, players, and plays during their playoff run. Build the same game parlay or try live betting and jump in after tip-off. Don't forget with FanDuel, you get paid instantly when you win. Download the FanDuel Sportsbook app now and play your game. 21 plus select states are 18 plus DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Get a problem call 1-800-GAMBLER. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat. Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. We've seen some legendary athletes don the number four jersey. Now I can't name names, but you guys know who I'm talking about.

23:34Bill Simmons:In fact, if you look at my studio, there's a framed picture of one of my favorite number fours. He played hockey. Anyway, you know what else is game changing for? PayPal paying for no fees, no interest, no impact on your credit score, just the flexibility to pay the way that works for you. And it's available at millions of online stores. Pay in four with PayPal subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com slash pay in four PayPal Inc. NMLS 9 1 0 4 5 7. All right. It's the 2026 made up awards. We will be doing all of our real stuff. The NBA, all nba mvp rookie of the year all that stuff we have weeks to talk about it but not the made up awards we always do it the week before the end of the season bunch of awards i sent you a whole master list i sent you some nominees feel free to chime in extra nominees the first award one of the most important ones we like to for the made up awards we like to have a big one first like in the oscars when they bring out like the best supporting actress like oh i'm never ready now I'm never ready.

24:45Even though I know it's coming, I'm like, I just sat down. I'm not ready for this.

24:50Bill Simmons:It's unicorn of the year. Normally a controversial award with a lot of good options. This year, the nominees are Victor Wembedyama, Peyton Pritchard, LeBron James, and Jalen Johnson. I don't know if you had any more nominees to throw in. It's an interesting set of nominees. LeBron is obviously up there for his age, I would imagine. Peyton Pritchard, we can talk about whether he deserves to be mentioned in this group, or this is like a blockbuster movie that just got tossed in for Best Picture. But I did not add any additional nominees because the answer is obvious and I don't know what else there is to say.

25:25Bill Simmons:Yeah, it's almost unicorn of the decade is in play for Wemby. Peyton Pritchard I put in because of the bizarre stats about his two-point shooting and him near the rim and just this weird one-man post-up offense that he's been able to do. This iso ball banging to you around. I've just never... TJ kind of veered toward a lot of this and then Pritchard took it and grabbed it and took it to another level. But I've just never seen anybody do it like this. Okay. At 6 '1", yeah, for sure. Not a lot of mystery for that first one. The next one, though. The 2011 Blake Griffin Award for most unexpected delight.

26:03Bill Simmons:And the reason we had this award, this was the year before Lob City. Blake's out his rookie year, hurts his knee, comes back the next year. Baron Davis is on this Clippers team. He's probably 20 pounds overweight. DeAndre Jordan's feeling it out. I don't remember who the coach was. Maybe it was Vinny Del Negro. Yeah, Vinny. Not a lot of high hopes. And then Blake came in and just ran amok and was dunking on everybody. And it was like, oh my God, the Clippers have never had a guy this fun. The nominees for this award, in no particular order, Jason Tatum's comeback, the Charlotte Hornets just in general, the All-Star game.

26:43Bill Simmons:bam's 83 point game wimby leaping into the stratosphere jamal murray being fucking awesome again and kawaii leonard at age 34 becoming 2019 kawaii one more time any other additional nominees for you i added one and it's the hawks going like 14 and 1 and 15 games and 20 and 3 in their last 23 or whatever it is post trey young i mean there are like mini runs this is like a schedule aside this is like an epic turnaround in the middle of the season and like just scorched earth on the entire eastern conference so i put them and they're super fun to watch the way they cut and move and pass and play i agree so i put that was my only extra nominee so it's a heavy category already and you forgot to mention quinn snyder looking like he's in steve carell's rooster show as like the other teacher who may or may not be involved with like one of the co-eds He just has that kind of vibe tone.

27:41Bill Simmons:Well, just like there's mystery to him. You don't know. You don't know if he's a good guy or a bad guy. My answer to this. I don't think I could recover from that. Unexpected delight. Yeah. Bam's 83-point game was the winner for me. Just out of nowhere, watching somebody try to score 83 points against the tanking wizards and humiliate them when I wasn't expecting it on like a Tuesday night was my number one. So what is it for you? Did you see Jaime Hacquez Jr. on my pod last week talking about this game? What did he say? He was just like, we were sitting there in shock that the Wizards just were continuing to let him go one-on-one.

28:22We were like, what are they doing? The guy just put up 35 in the first quarter. You're not sending a second guy. They were utterly in disbelief.

28:30Bill Simmons:Do you see what he did in the last game? They played the Wizards again. He had 14 points. He had 83. He went from 83 to 14. I found everything about it delightful, too. I found the discourse, which I was set up to feel like the discourse was going to be insufferable. And I found it delightful nonetheless. I loved it. I went serious and sappy with this one. Jason Tatum's injury last year is a flashbulb moment in NBA history. It's the same night as Cooper Flagg going to Dallas in the lottery or Dallas winning the lottery. A night I'll never forget exactly where I was, what I was doing, when it happened, the whole thing.

29:05and I just given the history of Achilles injuries I was like my expectation I'm going to level set at he just doesn't play the next season because this is conference semifinals and my optimistic take is going to be like he'll come back and look like you know half of himself because that's what happens in these things for him to come back this early and look like this for a team with this many wins is like beyond a delight so I picked him

29:35Bill Simmons:I didn't want to pick that because it would have been a Homer pick, but now I'm jealous you picked it. Maybe I should have picked it as well. All right, we award that to Jason Tatum. I think you want, well, we each make our case and then we decide. So Jason Tatum wins that. All right, this is another really important award. The Gold Club Trial Award for funniest story or moment of the season. Our nominees are Michael Jordan joining NBC's NBA coverage, and it turned out to just be edited from some 10-minute interview he did where he didn't say anything. Matt Ishbia, trash-talking everyone when the Suns hit 32 wins, even though he's traded 17 first-round picks and had to pay Bradley Beal$100 million to go away to get under the luxury tax.

30:21Bill Simmons:Paul George's suspension, helping put Philly under the tax. They had to make a trade, too. Every Doc Rivers press conference after the Bucks got blown out where if you just left it, the TV on and it cuts to dock the thing. And he just looks like he lost his dog. And he's just like, what did I do? Why am I here? Nobody going to Chris Paul's party. A tidbit from Ramona Shelburne after what went wrong with Chris Paul and the Clippers and about how he threw like a Halloween party and only two Clippers showed up. Joe Mazzula renouncing coach of the year award. He was asked if he and he's like, I don't care about that award.

31:01Bill Simmons:Don't ask me about that again. It was the worst campaign of all time. And then last but not least, Ben Simmons becoming a fisherman. I don't know if you have any to add. Absolutely loaded category. Kudos to everyone. It's an honor, truly, to be nominated. The only other one I thought of was the Wizards' April Fool's joke going wrong from last week. That's a great one. Which got even funnier when they issued a press release apologizing for it. so serious that it was like, is this the White House apologizing for some horrible thing or something? It was just out. The whole thing was ridiculous. To me, I did think there was a clear winner.

31:46Not a clear winner, but a winner that was, for me, the winner. Should I just say it or do you want to say who you pick? You go. I think Ben Simmons becoming a professional, semi-professional, amateur, professional, whatever, fisherman takes the cake for me because it was framed in the story by Mark Spears that kind of broke this or whatever terminology you want to use. It was framed as like, you know, he's taking a break from the NBA and this is what he's doing while he kills time until he decides what to do with his comeback in the NBA. Is that really what's going on? So I, in a loaded field, I took that one.

32:22Bill Simmons:It's great. I'm going with Michael Jordan's NBC stuff, which led to so many jokes and so much comedy, including on your podcast. I haven't done one in a while. I had a running bit, just insights to mediocrity. I just thought they presented it like he was going to be this hugely important part of their coverage. And then it was just this interview they clearly filmed over like margaritas at six o 'clock in Florida. Do you think there was a conversation at some point after the first level of backlash where NBC was like, yo, Michael, like this is not going well. Can we do another? Can you just come in for like, it'll be 20 minutes, just wear a different outfit, different location.

33:02He was like, no, I'm good. Like I did exactly what you guys did. We're not doing that. Wow.

33:07Bill Simmons:It was very Megan and Harry-ish. Next award. This is a fun one. The Halliburton for Sabonis Award for most fun in-season trade. Only four nominees. Zubats to the Pacers with the Clippers getting back that weird five through nine possible pick plus Matherin. uh triple j to utah mccollum for trey or james harden and a second round pick for darius garland what do you have first of all i like that you cj mccollum is now the headliner in the trade for you it's cj mccollum for trey surpassed him as the headliner in the description um i had a couple other nominees but i i let's What are your other nominees?

33:55I just think the Jared McCain trade is interesting on a number of levels, including how angry it made and continues to make our own Chris Ryan on a daily basis, losing all the Philly fans losing their mind about it. This came down. I mean, these are three of these four are very interesting. I don't find the Trey one all that interesting. I went Harden for Garland because it's almost like a straight up challenge trade, except one guy's 10 years older than the other guy. So it's also just a crazy vote of no confidence in the younger guy for a team that has an enormous amount at stake right now in this very season.

34:30So I went that one beat the Zubats one by a hair.

34:33Bill Simmons:I agree. And that's our winner for this year. And we'll see five years from now. Who regrets that trade more? My guess would be Cleveland. Oh, speaking of trades, this is a new category that was created last year. It's called the Luca trade award for the most cataclysmic moment of the season. Our nominees. The KD Burner scandal. All-Star Sunday. The February tanking crisis with the Utah Jazz. Whatever happened that two days before when everybody went nuts, including me. Chauncey Billups arrested after the first game. Coaches won Blazers game arrested. Jimmy Butler, the knee injury. Bummer. But also felt like an official maybe end to the Curry-Dramon-Hole-Curr, Steve-Curr Warriors era.

35:19Bill Simmons:the 65 game rule just completely backfiring over the course of three weeks here uh america kind of turning on inside the nba one of our most beloved institutions for the first time feel like there's some real real uh literally animosity toward maybe these guys don't like the league as much i think they'll work it out i'm gonna bet on barkley who's the best media guy we've ever had and then uh this was this was brief it was in november it was when it seemed like okc was going to go 76 and six while the Clippers were in a free fall. And we had two weeks there where we were terrified OKC was going to go 75 and seven, but then also get the first pick in the draft.

35:59Bill Simmons:So any other nominees for you in this category? No, I think you covered all of them. And I will congratulate you because inside the NBA's public perception of it being nominated here feels like feels like if the president of the Academy for Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was like, I really love this Norwegian film about death and mortality. We're putting it in the Best Picture nominees. Okay, we're putting it in there. I'm going Tank in Crisis because it's ongoing. And just the noise drowned out everything else about a prolonged period of the NBA season. It is utterly embarrassing. I mean, that slate Friday night, two nights ago, top three worst night of NBA basketball in the history of the league.

36:43I mean, every game was unwatchable.

36:46Bill Simmons:What was the stat about it? It was like 25 points a game was the disparity of all the games that night. It was like one of the two worst nights ever for something like that. The stat you're citing is by Tim Reynolds at the AP. I don't remember exactly what it was. It was something like it was either the point spreads or the final margin had only been equaled one other time in the NBA. And it was also this season. And they're going to change the rules and everyone's just talking about it constantly. So in an absolutely loaded field, I mean, you're talking about a coach getting arrested, rules gone haywire, a burner thing.

37:19I'm going tanking.

37:21Bill Simmons:I think you're right because the story still will not die. And every time people get tired of talking about it, something like Friday night happens and then we're off again. And honestly, we would have talked about it all weekend if the Wemby Joker game hadn't happened. So can we can we also just congratulate the Blazers on bookending the year with Chauncey Billups at the beginning and this like bizarre two front office employees get fined. And so does the team for illegal contact with Hanson young, uh, before he was draft eligible. That was a new one for me. Yeah, that was, and it was a couple of years ago, right?

37:52Bill Simmons:Yeah. Yeah. Before he was eligible. Um, we, I mentioned this on my mailbag the other day with house. We haven't talked about it, but I, to me, the, the seatbelt is off with the blazers the next three months. I agree with you. I, it is weird. Just, we are going to take the speedboat out into the, into the ocean and we're going to fucking floor it to 110, like Sonny Crockett with the blazers. I am prepared for anything like Giannis trade new coach. Maybe they bring in a coach GM, um, any sort of wheeling and dealing, uh, this new owner coming in who already has this proven thing from hockey of like, I'm coming in, I'm rolling up my sleeves.

38:34Bill Simmons:Let's go. And I just think they're the wildcard team this year. If I had to bet on a Giannis team, we don't have the odds for this, although I'm sure the prediction market does, which sadly he invested in one of them. I think I would bet on Portland in the number two spot behind the Knicks. I would have the Knicks one and I would have Portland two for Giannis destinations. Cleveland three. You could make a lot of money if it comes true based on what I think the odds would actually be. And by the way, kind of forgotten offstage this year. All-time franchise icon Damian Lillard coming back to play basketball for the Blazers next year amid all of this.

39:15Bill Simmons:Could he come back for the 8-9 game? Or the 7-8 game? I have not even considered this possibility. Imagine that. Dame just shows up. He won the three-point contest, so what not? Well, you know what's changed? I don't want to talk about the Bucs and Giannis. I just don't. But I think the one thing that's changed is it's acrimonious enough now that I think he's lost the, okay, we'll accommodate whatever Giannis wants. We'll trade you to whatever city you want to go to. Now I think it's like, Hey, Giannis, you're going to Portland. I think that's what's flipped. They're going to make the best trade for them.

39:53Bill Simmons:And they're not going to worry about, uh, if his feelings are hurt or not, that would be my, uh, my take next award. You know, uh, an important award, almost like, uh, Best Cinematography. The 1986 Bill Walton Award. Biggest impact under 20 minutes a game guy. This is the true six-man award. Alex Caruso. Hugo. Shireman. Ron Holland. Grant Williams. Quietly plus 14 for the Hornets this year. Andre Drummond. And my pick for this, Dennis Jenkins. Who has just been a revelation. for the Pistons. And I think he's thrown his hat into the six-man award as well because he's been the definition of a six-man.

40:45Bill Simmons:A bench guy who, when you actually need him to start for a couple weeks, he can do it and carry you. It's a great story. I think he went to four colleges. He's somebody I never really noticed until at some point during that season. Like, wow, that guy's kind of frisky. And then it's like, man, that Jenkins might be good. And then by the end of the year, it's like, could this guy run a team? he's my pick for this one I do want to point out that Hugo Gonzalez played one minute of garbage time today I just want to point that out and the initial list of nominees you've changed it, you're changing it up I mean it had Bones Highland on it and he's apparently been disqualified from the award here I took Bones off, I felt like I maybe shot my wad on that one a little too excitedly because he was good for about a week my two other additions is I did a basketball reference search that fit the criteria I think Mitchell Robinson deserves a hello and Clint Capella deserves a hello.

41:38I'm going to say I made a dramatic decision on this. I think the correct answer is Alex Caruso. But last night, watching Detroit, Philadelphia, watching Dennis Jenkins yet again lead Detroit with his ball handling, with the shot creation, with his defense and all of it to another easy win without Cade Cunningham. I mean, you can pick whether it's him or Jalen Duren. he's the most important reason why they have not only stayed afloat without Kate Cunningham, but just death grip on the number one seed for a week and a half now. They never slipped for a second. So I'm flipping my vote from Caruso because Caruso, we all know Caruso.

42:13It's boring. Let's have some fun. Let's honor a guy who's really one of the stories of this particular season. Dennis Jenkins, come out from the back row wherever they sit you at this ceremony. You're getting this award.

42:24Bill Simmons:I'm really happy for him. Did a great job. And actually, I thought increased the ceiling of the Pistons because one of the things I just didn't take them as seriously as a true playoff contender because I didn't really trust their bench. And I didn't feel like they had like the right kind of guy who could come in and maybe swing a game or a quarter. And, you know, who knows when Cade comes back, he doesn't have the car keys in the same way. But I do feel like whatever's happened with him the last four weeks, he can come into a game now and flip the game, which is what they had with Schroeder last year, too.

42:54Bill Simmons:Do you think, when you're thinking about big picture, guys who, if you're another team, like, should we target this guy? Is he, he's trapped behind another asset? Maybe we can get this guy. I was thinking him and AJ Mitchell are the two guys that if I'm another team trying to figure out how to think outside the box with assets and picks, those would be the two I would look at. Is there anybody else you would put in that category? somebody who's basically really good but maybe is being blocked by somebody or isn't in the perfect situation or might become available because of the salary cap off the top of my head I think Kaysen Wallace would also maybe qualify for this or is he overqualified for this I'm just not trading him teams would you ever trade him if you're OKC I wouldn't ever consider it I mean OKC is going to have a whole bunch of different decision trees based on, you know, do we keep all three of these stars together for as long as possible on their max numbers?

43:55Do we not? What do we do? Like people are going to have to go one way or another. It depends what his number is going to be too. I mean, is, is he, does he get to restricted free agency and someone throws a massive offer sheet at him? I don't know. I think teams are thinking about Colin Gillespie like this. Um, I, I don't know. I mean, he kind

44:12Bill Simmons:of has a team. Yeah. You know, but now that he came off the bench today for the first time in a long, long time because they started Jordan Goodwin over him. And I think they're just experimenting. Now that G.L. Green's a full-time starter, do we want to just stagger our ball handling? Isaiah Collier on the lower level, I don't think that he's that great of a starter kind of candidate, but I'm sure I can think of others. The 1984 John Drew Award for most stunning random statistical achievement. I knew you would love this one. So I have six nominees and I'm sure you've found a couple. Some of them are easy.

44:51Bill Simmons:Con leading the NBA in threes as a rookie bonkers. SGA, 55 % field goal percentage and 31 points a game as a guard. Scotty Barnes, 100 plus steals and blocks. Derek White, I don't know if he had a block today, but heading into today, he was 10th in the league in blocks. He had 98 blocks. Derek White is going to get to 100 blocks. Donovan Klingen, leading the league in offensive rebounds with 4.5 per game. And then Wemby averaging almost 25 points a game in less than 30 minutes a game. He's 24.7, 29.7. His per 36, I think, is at 30. So those would be my candidates. Do you have any other nominees?

45:37Wait, did you wipe Knipple off?

45:39Bill Simmons:No, I had Conn leading the NBA in threes. Okay, so yeah. First of all, Derek White had no blocks today. There was one play where someone went up and he kind of deflected it, but I guess they called it either just a deflection or maybe the guy was passing. It would be very funny if he had 99 blocks going into the last game of the season and started just chasing blocks, like some guys chase triple doubles, chase assists at the end of games, just trying to swat everything in sight just to get this. He's like roping people into shooting so he could go at them. Yeah, just to cinch this random award.

46:11I mean, I guess it's not a season-long thing. I thought BAM's 83-point game would be in here, and I would even put...

46:17Bill Simmons:Oh, yeah, I was thinking for the year, but you're right, BAM. So if it was single game is eligible, BAM would win. I mean, that was just such an outlier event. And at the SGA, Wilt Chamberlain, 20-point streak, it's not a year, it's more than one year. I thought that was interesting. That's a good one. That's a good one. I went basic on this. Call me basic like the teenagers do. I went con canipple leading the entire NBA in threes and walking into the league as the best shooter in the entire world, not named Steph Curry, which I think is what he's established himself as in year one. The volume, the different ways he can get shots off movement, off the dribble, both sides of the floor.

46:58It's just, you cannot say enough superlatives for how great of a shooter he is in year one on a team that has been one of the stories of the season. And so I went with sort of the just most boring counting stat one of all of these.

47:12Bill Simmons:It's boring, but it's the right answer because you can actually bet this before the season on FanDuel. And I always like to, I'll do like a couple bets where I'll have Curry for most threes, parlayed with like Wemby for most blocks. And those are the two chalk ones and then put other stuff. I don't think Khan even had odds. So when you look at it from that perspective, because they probably have 20 guys that they'll put in there and it'll be like everybody you can think of, right? Jalen Brown, like everybody. Khan didn't have, as far as I remember, Khan didn't have odds. So to go from that to leading the league and made threes as a rookie, which is an achievement in itself.

47:48Bill Simmons:And, you know, he, as a shooter, I thought just looked like peak prime Clay Thompson. Right? With that, like some of the stuff, the quick release stuff that he was doing was like, it took Clay Thompson four years to get to that point. And Khan's already there. And I don't even know where we go from here with Khan. it's not like his release can get faster. I guess he could maybe move it five feet out would be the only, I don't know what else he could even add. He's just finished already. Can I give you two more nominees? Yeah. That I forgot. Zion playing 51 out of 52 games and counting. I don't know what, that seems to be something.

48:28And another single game one that just was crazy, so maybe it doesn't qualify, was the night that Kalel Ware had double-digit points and rebounds and seven blocks and five steals off the bench, and no one had ever done that coming off the bench ever before in the history of the NBA.

48:43Bill Simmons:So that was a little oddity for you. I actually I don't mind when they give us those things like, he's the first guy since 1963 to have 30 points, 18 rebounds, four assists, five blocks, and three steals like when they do those hodgepodge things. Yeah. But it's a little over the top with how many times, like to me, it's like Jokic had a 20, 20 and 20. That's, that's like a real, that's one where it's like, all right, I can put that into some sort of context. All right. Uh, two coaching ones really quick. I know that this is where you, Zach gets uncomfortable. Zach does. I'm not uncomfortable. I'm ready.

49:21I'm ready.

49:22Bill Simmons:Well, it's the Monty Williams award for worst coaching performance. First of all, do you think Monty Williams is the right person to have this award named after? Do you think he, Can you see his face on the bus? Is there somebody else you would put here? It's got to be somebody else because that year with the Pistons was... It felt like everyone immediately agreed on day one. You know what? This was a bad idea. The money was too much. Everyone got carried away. This is a horrible idea. And he had just coached the team to the finals and 60 wins and all that. So I feel like we could do better. Okay.

49:56Bill Simmons:I'll work on that. Or worse. I'll talk to the committee. nominees Doug Christie of the Hindenburg Kings Imei Adoka had to throw him on there just a lot of clogged toilet at the end of these games and the team seems super unhappy Brian Keefe who did not double Bam out of bio for three quarters or three point game Willie Green no longer with us Jamal Mosley who's been on it feels like the quiet hot seat now for a month and a half and then And listen, I got to call it like it is. I think Doc Rivers is on here as well. When you have this many 20-plus point losses, as much as I love the guy, I have to just throw him on there for sake of accuracy.

50:44Bill Simmons:My winner is Doug Christie. I don't know if we have the same guy. The committee is unanimous. Congratulations to Doug Christie. it's truly been an experience to watch across the board. I think the best thing you can say about it to really capture the moment is sometimes with these coaches, it's like, I wonder if he'll get another head coaching job. With Doug Christie, we have the answer already. He will never have another head coaching job. It will never happen. No other team will hire Doug Christie. It's the nicest thing you could say about it. We've had NFL coaches like this too where you're watching the tail end of the season and the guy's going to get fired.

51:21Bill Simmons:It's like, I'm never going to see it. the Patriots had Jared Mayo like that. I was like, we're never going to see this guy again. Doug Christie, we will never see again as a head coach. I feel comfortable predicting this. I had forgotten about that, about this until someone reminded me a couple weeks ago. Remember the brief, this guy's like a hall of fame level accomplished almost, but remember the brief John Beeline, Cleveland Cavaliers era, which was over in like weeks. And then all these funny stories came out. Like the players were like, yeah, he names plays after animals. So we're out there like Colin Panda.

51:52Yeah. And like Anteater and everyone's like, what are we doing here? That was, that was a good one.

51:57Bill Simmons:See, I had this thing when I did the mailbag with House about when we go to commercial for League Pass, instead of seeing the people dancing for the Jumbotron, it's a little two minute mini documentaries about players, teams. That would be a funny wrinkle to it. It's just a two minute John Beline documentary about the guy who had to leave in 40 games and name plays after animals. And we just think it was animals. I think it was animals. was a hippopotamus. A more positive award, the Brad Stevens Award for most untankable coach named after Brad Stevens' 2015 performance when the team was built to tank, was supposed to tank, and just wouldn't tank.

52:38Bill Simmons:So our nominees are Joe Mazzula, Jordan Nott, and Tiago Splitter, unless you can think of anybody else. Well, all the coaches who would have been, like Jordy Fernandez would have been in this conversation a year ago. Turns out you can tank with Jordy Fernandez as your head coach, even with Rick Carlisle as your head coach. If you try hard enough, you can tank with a Hall of Fame, thousand games won, all that kind of head coach. So I could not, I had no other nominees. I think my answer, oh man, this is a tough one because this is basically one of the proxies for a coach of the year. At least who you think is going to be second.

53:13Bill Simmons:It's between Missoula and I, and I can't decide. So you're going to have to decide. I went with Joe Missoula. I don't think Charles Lee deserved maybe a mention here as well as a nominee because I don't think the Hornets had any idea. I don't think Hornets brass ownership had any idea that any of this was in play at the start of the season. In fact, I think they would have preferred like, hey, let me get another bite at the apple. You know who had an idea? He's got two thumbs. And he's you? Yeah. I'll go Joe. I'm trying to tell you. I'll go Joe Mizzoula just because he's the Celtics are the two seed.

53:46He's going to win coach of the year. They have gap year stamped all over them by everybody. And they rejected the label and like just threw it in the trash. And I have to ask you then when he wins coach of the year, because I think he's going to win coach of the year, having denounced the entire notion of the award, what do you think he should do when he's given the award? Do you think he should just let his whole staff come up and accept it? Do you think he should throw it in a garbage can? Do you think he should like, like give a like a speech about how stupid the whole thing is? Do you think he should let the players accept it?

54:18I'm serious. Like, what should he do? He has preemptively said, this award that I'm about to get is a piece of garbage that is dumb. So what does one do then upon receiving it?

54:27Bill Simmons:I'm looking at the odds now. Bickerstaff is still favored. He's minus 240. Missoula's plus 230. I don't think, I think Bickerstaff's gonna win. You're right. Maybe Bickerstaff, you know, with the way they've, I would vote for Missoula, but with the way they've played, it says a lot about the culture that he's instilled there and all that. So yeah, maybe I'm wrong. To answer your question, I think he would refuse to hold it. Almost like NHL players refusing to hold the conference, whatever trophy that they get because you're not allowed to touch anything until the Stanley Cup. And I think he'd be dismissive of it and probably have a speech about how dumb awards are for people trying to lead their players and make everybody feel bad they voted for them.

55:09You know what the real award is? It's the journey. It's not the destination.

55:13Bill Simmons:It's the journey. yeah I think it is Missoula because I still don't know how this team's going to win like 56 games it just seems impossible now I know they had health good fortune with the best three guys in the team Jalen, Pritchard White those guys have stayed healthy and that's really helped them Tatum didn't play for the first three fourths of the season Um, I don't, I just don't understand how they're going to finish 56 and 26. It's impossible. They're 14 wins higher than the over-under. All right, we're going to take a break on Spotify. We're going to keep going on Netflix. This episode is brought to you by Tax Act.

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57:24Bill Simmons:The late 1990s Chauncey Billups Award. Best reason never to sell your stock. So explanation for this award. Chauncey Billups, drafted by the Boston Celtics 1997. Watched him play for 50 games. There was some talent there. My big takeaway was I'm not sure this guy's a point guard. I don't know if I, great athlete. I don't know if I see it. They turned him into Kenny Anderson. One of my more regrettable takes, I had my old website at this time, and I was like, I kind of like Detroit. Kenny Anderson's a real point guard. Didn't realize at that point that he'd had some personal issues going on. Billups bounces around.

58:06Bill Simmons:I can't think of anybody who would have kept their stock with him, lands in Minnesota, turns his career around, and then goes to Detroit, and the rest is history. I don't know if you have your version of a Chauncey Billups, where you learned your lesson not to give up on great talent. Is there somebody from your past? There definitely is, but I'm blanking on the spot because I was so focused on the nominees. All right, we'll do the nominees. For this prestigious award. This is a really important award. Lamella Ball, Jared McCain, only because of Daryl. Daryl said we sold high on Jared McCain. Maybe he didn't sell high enough.

58:45Bill Simmons:Anthony Black. I can report firsthand. I gave up on this guy. Duncan Robinson, who I think we've all given up on at least four different times over the course of his career. And then he always rallies back. And then Peyton Watson. I never saw it with Peyton Watson. Never thought he'd be a guy. And there's probably others, but those were the five. Who else did you have as nominees? By the way, you know who else? They didn't give up on Peyton Watson, but they made a very clear decision. We're paying one guy and not the other. And we paid Christian Brown and not Peyton Watson. I would nominate just late season nominees.

59:19Cody Williams is like flirting with next year's list, maybe. Bones Highland. The entire Atlanta Hawks franchise. And I'm going to preemptively argue with you again and Goldsberry again. I am just going to stake my claim to the Ahmed Thompson portion of this argument now and say anyone who labels him a disappointment or sells their stock is going to regret it.

59:45Bill Simmons:Leading the league in minutes. Did you know that? Is that good? Bad? Nothing? I'm just saying. It's not like he's having a bad season. I just wonder what the next level is in. But you might be right. It might have been too harsh. I think our winner for this category is LaMelo Ball. I don't know if you have. You never sold your stock. You always get mad at his people. As someone, I'm checking my retirement counts every day. And like, I've just, Lamello has single-handedly paid for seven vacations that I'm going to take in a couple of years. So I, no brainer for me. It's Lamello Bowl. There was a moment, even this summer, definitely, even in the, when they were four and 14, first like 20 games of the year.

1:00:28Bill Simmons:When it was Lamello, it was Trae Young and Ja. And I think I might have even done a podcast segment of which guy would you bail on the fastest? Who would you kind of hold on to? and LaMelo was the clear choice out of the three like I would give this one a little longer but the point is he was closer to that conversation than is this one of the best point guards in the league that conversation the seesaw had swung to this side and he's rallied out this will be when you talk next week we'll do the 25 most intriguing guys in the playoffs on this pod we did that last year we did it at Grantland way back when one of the last basketball hours.

1:01:12Bill Simmons:Grantland. Yeah. Remember Grantland. Great website. Funny. But we'll do that last week. I'll be interested to see where LaMelo falls in the 25 most intriguing players of the playoffs. There's a world where he's just fucking awesome and and basically pulls the 2009 Derrick Rose against the no KG Celtics. And I'm here. How many years of that series take off your life? A year, a full year? I mean, six months minimum. The two best first round series ever were that one and Spurs Clippers, right? I mean, you still probably have like Ben Gordon PTSD from that series. That was the one where a lot of people, Ben Gordon became Bitcoin.

1:01:56Bill Simmons:Where you just bought in hard on Ben Gordon and it came back to bite you. So you agree on LaMelo? I do. Okay. We'll go quickly here. The Freeman Williams Award for Biggest Black Hole. go look at Freeman Williams's basketball reference dot com if you want to have a good time nominees Cam Thomas Zach Levine Ace Bailey not his fault he's on a team that wants him to shoot and then Malik Monk I don't know if you've watched him recently on the Kings but he's really like I want to get traded this summer I need some tape and has been dialing it up it's got to be Cam Thomas though I just say as long as he's in the league I think I think he has to get this I abstain from I abstained from the voting.

1:02:41Bill Simmons:Because you got into it with one of the nominees over the summer. Well, he got into it with you. I felt it was appropriate and respectful of the process to abstain from the voting. Fair enough. Cam Thomas is the winner. The 2007 Kevin Garnett Award. So this is literally an award with Kevin Garnett's face from the 2006-07 season. You have to capture the face. Trap star who needs help escaping the most. nominees, Steph Curry, Giannis, DeMontis Sabonis, Lori Markkinen, and my personal winner, Trey Murphy. Oh, wow. I didn't see that one coming. Save Trey Murphy. Get him to a real team. I've had enough.

1:03:27Bill Simmons:Enough of him on a, not a real team. Let's put him on a real team. Let's put him on a team that has chemistry, that has guys that seem to like each other, that doesn't need five basketballs, let's put him in a good situation. Let's put him on the Spurs. Let's put him on the Thunder. Let's not put him on the Nuggets. Let's not put him on those teams. Let's put him on the Celtics. No, no. Let's put him on the Pistons. Let's put him on the Hornets and go fucking crazy. Put Trey Murphy somewhere else. No more Trey Murphy on New Orleans. The world does not need Trey Murphy on the San Antonio Spurs or the Oklahoma City Thunder.

1:04:02Bill Simmons:No, we don't need that. Well, from a fear title standpoint. Yeah, fair. I'm just looking out for Trey Murphy. I feel bad for him. Put him on a real team. Here's my thought process. Feels a little early for Trey Murphy to win this award. Maybe I'm wrong about that. Markkanen's finally coming out of four years of Utah Purgatory onto a good team next year. Giannis is, I'm just, we don't want to talk about it. It's whatever. And Steph doesn't, I don't think, want to leave the Warriors. And then I look around and I'm like, Domane Sabonis do you think he cries every night when he goes to sleep? I mean do you think he actually weeps?

1:04:40He looks at his

1:04:41Bill Simmons:he probably looks at his plus minus on that NBA site and sees the minus 15.5 or whatever it is. Do you think he watches YouTube clips of himself lighting the beam three seasons ago? And his wife is like hey Domane, are you doing it again? Come to bed. We're not lighting the beam anymore. he's an interesting one. I would still have Trey Murphy, so maybe we'll split the vote. Sabonis is an interesting one because I think people have given up on him as like you could actually win three straight playoff rounds with this guy as one of your four best guys. How about one playoff round? Yeah. Well, four best guys is too many guys, but this is why, so this is how I interpreted the award, who needs help escaping the most.

1:05:25I think he needs help in the form of another team valuing him more highly than the rest of the league and the consensus around the league and that they probably should. I think he needs that kind of help.

1:05:36Bill Simmons:I don't know what the team is because the defense stuff with him is rough. On the other hand, I think he's an incredibly skilled offensive player that if you put him with other really high IQ players, I always thought like if you just put him on the Warriors with the way they play and the kind of guys that they get, I'd feel like he would thrive for them. Maybe the Bulls could get Sabonis if they take back Levine and DeRozan and just put all of the morass of players who have switched teams onto one team. Trump ruled two days ago the Bulls and Kings are not allowed to trade anymore. This has been my rule.

1:06:09This has been my... No, no, he listened to you.

1:06:11Bill Simmons:He did it on True Social. Oh, gosh. So you have Sabonis, I have Trey Murphy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, this is one of the big awards. Okay. The Perk Thinks Jokic Pads' Stats Award for the most scalding hot media take of the year. Perk did say this a couple years ago.

1:06:35That wasn't even the most scalding thing he said about that MVP race. I remember.

1:06:42Bill Simmons:First of all, I want to apologize because I should have been keeping track of these during the year and I didn't. So I had to kind of go off memory and some Google searches. But here's what we have for this category. Six nominees. Perk says in December that Kawhi Leonard was the worst free agent signing ever. that one like actually like burned my eyebrows Stephen A recently I think this happened after the OKC game suggesting Luca fakes injuries when he's not playing well that became a whole thing I missed that one yeah that became a thing Perk said Charlotte limited Lamello's minutes to lower his scoring average so he won't be an all-star and that would make him easier to trade there was an OKC writer Clemente Almanza when the expansion thing started who said Seattle fans before they get the Sonics back and their history back should have to apologize to Oklahoma City fans before they get their history back.

1:07:38Bill Simmons:In other words, we're going to hold your history until you apologize to us. Mark that one down. Stephen A pushing Jalen Brown for MVP in mid-March. I love Jalen Brown, but that ship had sailed. And then Stephen A blamed LeBron for ruining the slam dunk contest, which he was never in. But that's why he ruined it, though. The take was he should have been in it. But one of the things with LeBron, he really only has like two dunks. I mean, he was smart to avoid the dunk contest. He's like a cockback and one-hand dunk guy. There was a reason he never wanted to be in it. My winner for this, unless you have any other, do you have any other nominees?

1:08:19I don't.

1:08:21Bill Simmons:The winner is the OKC writer demanding an apology from the Seattle fans. I thought that was absolutely unbelievable. I was in awe of that take. I couldn't decide what to do with that one because... I don't know how to say this. It just... It feels more appropriate to deflate Stephen A. Smith and Kendrick Perkins than it does to deflate him. But that was so wildly insulting to an entire metropolitan area. and not only that, how would it work exactly? Are these handwritten letters that everyone in certain zip codes has to write? Yeah, you have to digitally sign it. Is it the mayor? Is it like, what exactly are you asking for?

1:09:04And you're holding the Sonics earned history, the stuff that happened in Seattle over their head, like ransom for like a kidnapping?

1:09:12Bill Simmons:You guys won the title last year and it was like the second title for the Oklahoma City Thunder franchise. The first one was in Seattle. All right. Another really important word, the Virginia Beach Kings Award for most contrived story on a slow news day. Remember the Virginia Beach Kings? I do. Remember when that had like a minute? All right. Nominees here. Expansion being approved for 2020-29 without any bids or 23 votes from the owners. That somehow became a story. We picked the season and the cities. Well, you don't have bids or owners yet.

1:09:51Bill Simmons:LeBron using Rich Paul's podcast on the ringer to try to get the Lakers to trade Austin Reeves. This was an actual thing people thought. Stephen A feuding with the New Orleans Pelicans. This happened. Another one that I missed completely and I Googled it and I was like, oh wow, this is a real thing. It's like a two-day feud. Can the Jays coexist in Boston was the thing that kept happening over and over and over again. The Clippers want LeBron to replace the vacated Kawhi cap space. This was a recent one. I really enjoyed this one. It would have to involve Kawhi somehow being, somehow, somehow his contract being voided.

1:10:33Bill Simmons:What are the odds of that? Like, honestly, like, Ron Artest, his contract, Latrell Spree Roll, his contract didn't get voided when he choked his coach. We'll find out when the elite law firm of Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen, and Katz finishes its investigation in 2030. Five years from now. Yeah. And then last but not least, a recent one, LeBron doesn't like Memphis. Well, that's not a contrived story. That was, he said, I don't like, basically said it. And then doubled down and said, I don't like Memphis either. I mean, I'm Milwaukee either. Your answer for this. Or do you have any other nominees? I don't know if these fit.

1:11:14I just remember a lot of media noise about, you know, we got to wait to see what the Bucs really are. We can't judge the Bucs until Kevin Porter Jr. comes back and plays with Giannis. Like, we got to wait. We got to wait for that. Can the three guards coexist in San Antonio or do they just need to trade De 'Aaron Fox like right now because these two young guys are so good? I thought that was silly. And it's burbling up now. We're going to talk about versions of it coming up. but specifically like did or did Jason Kidd not know or know about the Luca trade ahead of time are all nominees for me.

1:11:50And another one that I might actually vote for, this might've been limited to Levitard's platform and we all love Dane Levitard and his show, but there was a day like - Speak for yourself. There was a day like a month ago where they had, unless it was AI, and I always assume everything is AI, but it was like a long clip I saw. They finally had the discussion of like, basically, are we sure Eric Spolstra is a good coach? Are we sure none of this is his fault? And I was like, wow, Spoh? Oh, my Lord. I am sure Eric Spolstra is a good coach. Wow. That was a segment? So of all your nominees, I think I would go with Stephen A.

1:12:32Feuding with the Pelicans because just saying it out loud is like the tagline of a ridiculous movie that happened. And like, but it's like, yeah. So I'd go with that one.

1:12:44Bill Simmons:I think that's the winner as well. All right. One of our big ones. This is like bringing out best actor right now. The McKeskey Award for best American white guy. Previous winners. Again, it's an American white guy. Previous winners include Chet Holmgren, Tyler Hero, Kevin Love, Mike Miller. Had a whole bunch of them. Do two of them come out and introduce the nominees? like do Tyler and Kevin Love come out? We like him. Please welcome Kevin Love and Mike Miller with Tyler Hansborough.

1:13:18Bill Simmons:I'm in awe of how loaded this class is. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Nominees. Cooper Flagg just scored 51 points as a 19-year-old. Con Canipple. Peyton Pritchard. Chet Holmgren. Austin Reeves. And Donovan Klingin. Anybody else who needs to be a nominee here? Well, first of all, when I told my wife about this award, she, as a Croatian person, was like, wait a second, why just American white guy? Wouldn't we Yugoslavians clean up? It has to be American. I was like, well, that's the point. You have so many overqualified people. I had no notes on the nominees. It's an absolutely loaded field.

1:13:59Other than I might, although he's missed so many games, I think Tyler Heroes had a sneaky good season. I went with it. I agonized over this. Austin Reeves career year, Cooper flag and can nipple what they're doing. Consistency, defensive dominance, health this year, dominant team. I'm giving Chet Holmgren a repeat win for this award.

1:14:23It's a tough one.

1:14:27Bill Simmons:So I thought about it long and hard. and it comes down to which of these guys is the most reasonable all-NBA vote if one of them ended up on a third-team all-NBA, which means the answer is Chet Holmgren. We have rookie of the year for flagging Knipple. The other guys, I think Reeves, before he got hurt, yeah, if he hadn't gotten hurt, I think there's a real chance he could have taken this, but I think it's Chet Holmgren. back-to-back McKeskey's for Chet Holmgren. I think agents have to start working this into their contracts for like if he gets the McKeskey Award,$15 ,000 bonus. Not a huge bonus by NBA standards, but if he gets the Bill Simmons McKeskey Award,$15 ,000.

1:15:14Bill Simmons:It would be funny if they put it in the CBA and you got like a 5 % salary cap bump. We did an old ESPN or Grantland column I did. We actually, somebody made a fake McKeskey trophy for this. And it's one of the funniest things we ever ran. It's McKeskey's face on this bronze, whatever. And as always, I encourage people to go onto YouTube and watch McKeskey highlights. Okay. It's the fact that you have to say as always about that. As always. As I frequently tell people. Yeah, listen. The Dennis Rodman Award for biggest ongoing distraction. There's not going to be a lot of mystery here. Maybe there will be because we have Giannis versus Milwaukee.

1:15:55Bill Simmons:We have John Morant, whatever the hell is going on with him in Memphis. Kawhi and the Aspiration scandal. Is it a scandal? We still don't know. And then Tanking. Any other nominees for you here? 65 Game Rule. Yep. Okay. Burner. Scandal. Whatever you want to say. Mark Cuban versus the Adelsons versus the Ultimate Regret of Life. I just, it's Giannis. It's Giannis because it's, it's, it's the worst kind of distraction because it will never stop. And it's reached a point of oversaturation. Yeah. It's kind of amazing to me that Kawhi and aspiration isn't going to win this. Um, but I think people tune this story out a while ago.

1:16:39Bill Simmons:And I think a lot of people, including myself were like, can you just tell me what happened when, when we have a final verdict, we can't escape this Giannis story. This is like, every time you think you think it's like poison ivy every every time you think you got rid of it all of a sudden it's back again and it's been going on since august and it's been going on in a way that people are now like like i think vehemently tired of it like when he started going against them this week because they wouldn't let him play and they like i don't even think people wanted to report it anymore i think people are just like just fucking trade him at the end of the year We're all done with this.

1:17:16Bill Simmons:Just trade him. This latest round was bordering on the absurd on a lot of different levels, whether he's healthy enough to play. We'll talk more, well, whatever. We won't talk more about it, but that's my pick. The Andre Blatch Award, most immediately regrettable contract or extension last 12 months. Named after Andre Blatch, who signed an extension that didn't kick in for a year. And over the course of that year, they became so unenamored with him that when they were allowed to amnesty anyone on their roster, they amnestied him before his extension started. Amnesty was really a great time. I love that.

1:17:55Bill Simmons:I think they should bring it back. Honestly, you should be able to use an amnesty once every 10 years. There should have to be a ceremony too. Everyone's got to go to a podium and it's like the opposite of being knighted. It's like something like that. That sounds great. Regrettable contracts. Paolo, Jaron Jackson, Miles Turner, Dorian Finney-Smith, Chris Paul. Any other nominees? Oh, I've got nominees. You want nominees? Yeah. Just a couple of nominees. I was a little surprised, and I wouldn't pick him, nor would I even nominate him. I was a little surprised De 'Aaron Fox's name did not come up.

1:18:33And I think the reason is, if you're going to win 60 games, you just get a pass, and he's been largely good.

1:18:38Bill Simmons:That's how I felt. I would actually, just to pick a winner, my winner for this, I would go off the nomination list, like ordering off the menu. I'll take, for my main course, I'll take Jakob Pertl contract extension. Like, it's like almost$30 million a year. He wasn't even extension. He wasn't even like becoming a free agent for two years. He had a bad back. He has back issues. He's just fine as a starting NBA center. And the Raptors were like, you know what? We don't even want you to wait. Let alone two years. not even six months. Here's$90 million or$100 and whatever million. And he's had a largely forgettable injury riddled season.

1:19:19It was the most inexplicable contract of the summer. So I'm going off the menu and ordering a big fat helping of Jakob Pertl.

1:19:30Bill Simmons:I'm not perfect. Even heroes have warts. Pertl should have been on there. That's my mistake. I think it's a great choice. It made no sense when they did it. Also, when we did the worst contracts, strapped with Woz and House. I was going hard on centers just because I feel like we've learned that there's this giant inefficiency with how much you should pay a center. And if you're 20 million and up, unless this guy is Wemby or Jokic, maybe not a great idea. And Toronto just ignored all the evidence and went all in on more Jakob Pertl, who got dominated by Namias Keita today. It would be one thing if he were approaching free agency and you thought, well, we're a good team.

1:20:08we don't really have a replacement for him. That's the bird rights trap, as Hollinger calls it, that you fall into with your own guys. This was like, what? Like, yeah.

1:20:18Bill Simmons:Really good one. 2027 Ewing Theory Award for the star most likely to be Ewing Theory next season. Giannis, Zion, Kawhi, Ja, KD. Any other nominees? So to be clear, what we're picking here is this person goes to a new team and his old team thrives? Basically, KD and the Suns this year. Okay. I think the Suns are like a stealth Ewing theory team right now. Not that they're going to win the title. But my pick is not Giannis as much as I wanted to pick that one. I think Zion was my favorite one for this. It's a good pick. They're clearly, if they keep your guy, Trey Murphy, instead of trading him or getting him to a new place as you so want, and they keep the other infrastructure around what they have now and just excise nine or turn him into a piece that fits better or whatever, that's a pretty solid case.

1:21:12I went with John Moran. It's a little hard because the Grizzlies don't really have a roadmap to being like who's the best player on the team if not John Moran. Are we going this all? Am I going so far all in on Ty Jerome? But I just like the way, I mean, who knows what of their young guys other than Coward and some of their other core guys will be on the team next year. I've enjoyed watching the remnants of the Grizzlies play. They play hard. They've sort of bought into a style of play. They play defense. They're super handsy. They play fast. And I could see a world where like the Morant cloud is removed and they just like become a really fun 34 win team next year.

1:21:52Bill Simmons:It's become a tough place. It's definitely like a trap game every at Memphis game now where these teams go, they all hate staying at the hotel, which finally became a thing in the last week. They don't really like going there. You're playing a team that's tanking, and they just kind of sneak up on you. All right, so we'll split that vote. Quick aside for... This was not on the list that I sent you. I forgot about Edie, by the way. I even forgot about Zach Edie. Edie, come back. Mike Smeltz, who I think was in the mailbag the last one we did, he wanted to know why the MVP wasn't on the made-up awards.

1:22:30Bill Simmons:Not most viable player. Most viable Poku. given to the bad player and a tanky team who's given too many minutes as a stealth way to make the team lose and brought back the 2021 season when they unleashed Poku. And he shot 37 % and was one of the great tanking weapons anyone's had. First of all, my apologies. That should absolutely... Next year, we will have the most valuable Poku. We'll be on the menu. He suggested Bez Embang on the Utah Jazz, who all of a sudden was playing all these big minutes for the Jazz as a possibility. I guess my issue with this award is I don't know if we'll ever be able to recreate Poku again.

1:23:10Bill Simmons:The combo of how bad he was, but then also this weird hope and love that the Thunder fans had for him. Like, there might be something there. Maybe Preston did it again and there was nothing there. I don't know if we see that again. So, Bez is among a pile of guys who are suddenly playing 40 to 48 minutes. I mean, literally entire games. And so I think to win this award, the essence of this award is you can't just sort of exist out there as a three and D kind of a guy for 48 minutes. You have to have the ball and do a lot of super damaging things with it. So I'd have to think hard about who that really is this year.

1:23:49Bill Simmons:I don't think the guy exists. And in some cases it's people like sense of Bob played 43 minutes today, but he's actually good. He's fine. 26. So it really, I don't, I don't, maybe most valuable Poku can't be an award or maybe it's, Oh, maybe it's a, you know, when you see it, it's like a, like when the Oscars, when they bring out the guy and they give somebody like it's Harrison Ford, it's a special Irving Thalberg award for special achievement. Maybe that's how it has to go. By the way, not a hot take. Shrinking is a favorite in the low household. I just, I say it every episode to my wife, Harrison Ford, American treasure.

1:24:26It's not, it's not a hot take, but I like to be reminded of it. He's so good in the show and he's just,

1:24:31Bill Simmons:he's an American treasure. Now you're sucking up to Mallory. League Pass Broadcast Team of the Year. I'm not even going to give nominees. This is your category. You care about this the most. Who was your favorite League Pass Broadcast Team this year? So I, all encompassing, the broadcast crew, the play of the team, how those two things mesh together. And it's got to be Charlotte. It's got to be Charlotte with Eric Collins and Del Curry and watching that team run up and down the floor and shoot threes and dunk alley-oops. It's like, look, we all know who the sort of pet broadcast teams are. We all love the New York broadcast, the Brooklyn broadcast, lots and lots.

1:25:08I love the Toronto broadcast. But the whole experience of Eric Collins just losing his mind 10 times a game for a team that like, like you watch the Wizards broadcast and they'll lose their mind over like Bub Carrington making a mid-range jump shot. Like, oh, Bub! Look at Bob Carrington showing out for the Wizards. Time out. Wizards are down by 21. Eric Collins is going crazy for legitimate basketball reasons. And the whole thing, the uniforms are great. The court's great. The honeycombs, the Hornet, everything. Charlotte.

1:25:40Bill Simmons:I had them as well. I think the only two... Well, there's three because Eddie Johnson does the Phoenix. There's only three teams where I make sure I switch. the broadcast, you can switch the broadcast feed. They'll give you one. And if it's Charlotte, if it's Phoenix, or the other one for me is Denver, I will switch over to their broadcast teams to hear their people do the games. So I never voted in the top 100, the ESPN 100 that they used to do when we would rank the players, but this is how they would be ranked. You would just get like snap decision on two players and you would just do that a bunch of times and they would then spit out your rankings of the players that way.

1:26:26That would be a fun column someday if we really just wanted to piss a lot of people off or delight a lot of people. It's just like that, but for League Press broadcasters, just like, okay, it's Philly, Detroit. Who are you listening to? Snap, good. And just like, me too. Just see how it ends up.

1:26:45Bill Simmons:You said more than enough about Eric Collins. I want to chime in. I think he's spectacular. he is like everything you would ever want from your local play by play guy. Cause he's like, Drew Carter's like this with the Celtics too. They're overqualified to be doing the local games. Like they're really national guys. The difference with Collins is he's been in Charlotte for a while, really cares, but cares like not in a way where it's like, you're a little embarrassed for them. Like they're cheering for the team too much. Like he really cares. And like, somebody will make a shot against them. It'd be like two minutes left.

1:27:17Bill Simmons:They're down one. and then some fuck up and somebody will hit a three against them. And he'll just say some crazy sentence like, oh, isn't that a chainsaw in the tibia? Like just, he just has like this endless thing of crazy comments. The Hornets are hanging on like a cat on a screen door. He's a 10 out of 10. I love Eric Collins. I'm so happy that. No, no. So good. And Del's great. I watched the whole Del Curry day. I thought it was so genuine with those guys. And shout out to them. Note for announcers. A lot of what you're saying is he's enthusiastic without being like a gratuitous homer. And part of that is, unlike some other homers, never hostile to the other team or the opposing players for no reason.

1:28:07Never going out of your way to criticize, sometimes unjustly, somebody on the other team.

1:28:13Bill Simmons:I'm blanking on her name on the Nuggets broadcast. Katie. Katie Winge. So she's done a couple games. I thought she was fantastic. As a color person. I really thought she had high level smart, breaking down what was going on. I thought she was really good. It seems like they bounced the partners around a little bit, but I thought she was really good. She played at a fairly high level in college, I think. It seems to me that they're making her the heir apparent for whenever Scott Hastings, who played against Larry Bird in college whenever he retires. Yeah, I did the rare... I never add Twitter follows anymore, but she was really good.

1:28:52Bill Simmons:I was like, I'm following her on Twitter. The Lou Brown Award for Out of Nowhere Surprise Team where we have Phoenix, Charlotte, Boston, and Post Trey Atlanta. Loaded category. I think it's probably Phoenix, though. Who had them as the seventh seed? It would have been absurd. Every other one sort of makes sense. Right? Phoenix still doesn't make sense. I still don't understand it. there's just you get a lot of mileage out of playing hard chemistry good top end talent and booker good complimentary pieces great coaching i mean they're only going to finish with like whatever only they're going to finish with 45 wins so it's not like they've blown the doors off people certainly they've blown the doors off expectations i still went with the hawks if like i issued a formal apology for my hawks optimism on my podcast around christmas i sat down and I reckoned with what I had done and what I had convinced people was going to happen with the Hawks.

1:29:47I actually thought about filming it in the vein of Will Smith's taking questions about why he slapped Chris Rock. I was going to sit down and wear the baseball hat that he had and like, we just ran out of time. And I was going to be like, read fake questions like, Zach, why did you think Trey Young would fit with this team? And I'd be like, well, that's an interesting Anyway, and then they were like seven in a row, 11 in a row, 15 out of 16. Like what's happening? It was an ultimate what's happening for me. Okay.

1:30:17Bill Simmons:I think you've convinced me. I'll switch mine over because we had all given up on the Hawks and left them for dead. And it just seemed like they'll make some giant weird trade this summer and that'll be it. What's weird is, does all this happen if they don't trade Porzingis? Because Kaminga's already... Not on the outside looking in for them. I wonder if they had kept Porzingis, if that would have been a fun wild card for them. A couple more awards. The ML car trying to trade for a retired Michael Jordan award for goofiest but possibly real upcoming offseason subplot. This is a thing that happened.

1:30:51Bill Simmons:He did call the Bulls and try to trade for a retired Michael Jordan, and they hung up on him, and then he leaked to people that he tried to trade for Michael Jordan. So technically it was true. I'm actually surprised there are not more awards named for ML car, but that's a different story. Yeah. Nominees. This is for this guessing this summer. The Warriors trying to get Kawhi. We found out before the trade deadline, they actually did try to get Kawhi when they traded James Harden. The Warriors came in and tried to make a bid. Didn't get him. LeBron becoming the Warriors player coach. Paolo for Giannis.

1:31:26Bill Simmons:The Celtics trade Jalen Brown. or OKC says fuck it and trades J-Dub.

1:31:39Bill Simmons:All those are ridiculous, but what's the one that... Oh, give me if you have any other nominees. No. All of these broke my brain. Although, Paolo for Giannis is not, to me, goofy at all on a number of levels. It's something I pitched in the fall before I forgot that Paolo was poison-pilled. Celtics trading Jalen felt more plausible last offseason than now, but crazy things happen. His contract is what it is. I don't see now that they've reset the tax. I don't see any scenario where it happens. And I know Chisholm is like he goes to every game. He loves the team. Everybody loves the J. I don't I don't see a scenario.

1:32:18Is it? I mean, I went with the Warriors trying to get Kawhi, which doesn't feel goofy since it happened. But I do. I mean, God only knows what could happen this summer. what's going to happen with Kawhi, what's going to happen with his contract, etc. But I went with that one because LeBron's not going to become player-coach. They could go to the Warriors, but that one is not going to be on the table.

1:32:37Bill Simmons:I don't know. Would they bend the rule? If the Warriors and LeBron went to Adam and were like, can you bend this rule on the player-coach? It'd certainly be good for business. Does LeBron want to be a coach? No. It's stupid. It's stupid. I'm going to say my answer is OKC trading J-Dub. I left that one sitting there for you. I'd rather you take it. I just find it hard to believe they're going to be paying three max guys and Kaysom Wallace, and they're going to have more stuff coming. And I just think Presti will proactively do stuff. And I don't think they're going to do this, just for the record.

1:33:24Bill Simmons:Don't aggregate me and be like, Simmons thinks OK. we're talking goofiest but possibly real this one had like a shred of what happens if OKC loses in the conference finals do they just run it back do they get creative they have all these picks do they try to upgrade Jalen Williams who was already a top 25 you're talking about last year yeah I'm talking about this year like if they lost yeah I was going to say what complicates all this if they win the championship the Zaza Peculia word Peculia? Peculia the Zaza Pachulia award for the one NBA rule that absolutely needs to be changed. 65 games tanking.

1:34:02Bill Simmons:Half court shots don't count as field goal attempts. A passion point of yours. And league pass showing people dancing during every timeout. Anything else you would add here? You should get to pick your opponent as the number one seed. And there needs to be a time limit on reviews. Oh, that's really good. I'm going with that one. That's my pick too. 45 second reviews. 45 seconds. That's it. Done. Every time you say you went off the menu, Joe has a stomach growls and you think some food. Just so you know. That's right. It should be 45 seconds. For the record. First of all, I do have to admit defeat on the half court shots rule.

1:34:44It worked. Players take half court shots. I mean, I still think it's, I like the idea of having, having the field goal percentage. Cowards have to be publicly cowardly. by not shooting. I enjoyed that, but I enjoy the heaves more.

1:34:58Bill Simmons:Me as well. So, 45 seconds. I don't even think the refs go over to the monitor. I think they decide it in Secaucus and they just tell the ref and it's announced. I don't even need the refs like, oh, I'm going to put my headphone on. I'm out. And the refs wearing the headsets has been this weird, they are wearing them now they're not like on again, off again thing. Like, what's going on with that? Why did that, you know, So, the games are too long still. And a close game at the end, if there's three reviews, it's going to take too long. All right, we'll go through a couple quick ones here. The 2010 Baron Davis Award for Best Individual Mail-In of the Season.

1:35:40Bill Simmons:Sorry, Baron, I went to those games, unfortunately. John Moran, Zion, Anthony Davis, Zach Levine, or Mark Cuban. I'm going out of the box here and giving it to Mark Cuban. How is this guy still giving interviews? and taking, first of all, nobody asked you to sell the team. You sold the team. After you hired Nico Harrison, right, the GM who then made the Luka trade, who now you've been bad-mouthing, you hired him. You picked the ownership group to sell the team to. You lost your say in the whole process. You had the famous line of like, nothing's changing except my wallet or whatever he said. Yeah.

1:36:18Bill Simmons:You're a rich guy who I don't, didn't seem like you need the money or maybe you did of selling the team, you sold too early. You sold before the value of all the franchises went way up. You handled every piece of this wrong, not to mention you said you were going to be involved and you weren't. And now it just feels like for the entire season, he's been trying to throw his scent off his culpability in the Luka trade, which never would have happened if he still owned the team. Like, I don't think he should give interviews about it anymore. It'd be my take. and so that fits the mail-in criteria for you because he mailed it in by selling the team it's your fault they traded Luca you're Dr.

1:36:59Bill Simmons:Oppenheimer in this wow yeah is that a hot take don't sell the team well I mean they trade Luca Doncic keep the team yourself invoking the father of the nuclear bomb is certainly this was the NBA trade nuclear bomb I went much I went with John Morant because he literally stopped trying during multiple games to the point that Blake Griffin and I think his first welcome to broadcasting moment called him out at halftime of a game and then he's just disappeared. But you make quite a case for Mark Cuban. How about this? Point the finger this way. Yeah, there is a lot of blame being thrown around retrospectively.

1:37:42Bill Simmons:It would be like if Howard Schultz when he sold the Sonics to the Oklahoma City Thunder businessman group who were dying to bring a team to the Thunder. And then they moved the team to Oklahoma City. It's like, oh my God, what? I can't believe that happened. It's like, you couldn't? You sold it to a bunch of guys from OKC. All right. The Shane Battier Award for Sloan Conference Stat Nerd Darling DuJour. It's Diabate, right? Did anyone have more fun with the what the fuck is going on here? Stats for the advanced metrics than all Diabate lineups. and all the weird shit with him? Or would you go with somebody else than the Moose?

1:38:19I'm happy to give it to Moose. A couple other names that came up for me were Dean Wade, because the Cavs are just obsessed with, well, when Dean Wade's healthy, look out. Dyson Daniels, Clint Capella, Derek Jones Jr. But I'm happy to give it to the Moose.

1:38:36Bill Simmons:Hugo, Hugo, having the plus 17 net rating for most of the season was pretty crazy too. The Vitaly Potapenko Award for worst deadline trade. For the kids out there, 1999 strike season, 50 games. Celtics are a bottom 10 team. Rick Pitino, who was just a serial killer when he was running the team and just leaving bodies left and right, decided to trade an unprotected first round pick for Vitaly Potapico, who was a backup center masquerading as a starter. And that pick turned out to be the ninth pick in the draft, which would have been either Andre Miller or Sean Marion if they had it and they did not have it.

1:39:15Bill Simmons:Uh, worst trade Kobe white for nothing. Porzingis for coming and healed or Simons for Vuce bitch or another nominee that I don't have. Jared McCain. Too soon to say, too soon to say, then they got real draft equity for him. Yeah. I wouldn't put that as the number one, but it could be a nominee. I mean, I'm just going, I'm going, I'm zooming out and just going the entire Chicago bulls organization for everything gets this award. I mean, I don't follow hockey and football closely enough to say this. Is there a more, I ask you then, is there a more depressing franchise in American professional sports right now than the Chicago Bulls?

1:39:58Bill Simmons:I think that, yeah, to flip that around, most depressed fan base, it's down to Chicago and Sacramento, I think, in the finals. Even Sacramento is going to enter the lottery in pole position or fourth position. At least they have that. The Bulls are ninth. in the lottery standings, hoping for a Derrick Rose redux with Matas Buzelas and a whole bunch of like... But even Giddy's like last two months have been... Now, I guess you just throw them all the way have been just like, okay. What was the Kobe White trade? And why did they then trade Buzelic to take on six more million dollars of Simons? What was that?

1:40:38I don't know. And it's tempting to say, well, they got Colin Sexton, who's been pretty good on an expiring contract and he'll be on another team next year when he walks for nothing. And also, I mean, wherever you want to classify this.

1:40:51Bill Simmons:Why didn't they keep Dang in the three-way trade they did? Why didn't they reroute him somewhere else? I mean... And he needed a 22-year-old, young, energetic forward? And their two big second draft swings were Rob Dillingham and Jaden Ivey. And one of those has gone completely sideways. And it's just... I just... Wow. It sounds like we should just move right next to the... Let's do it. The David Kahn Award for Worst GM Performance. Nico Harrison, not eligible. I had him in there, but then the more I looked at it, not eligible. Kings GM? I don't even know who is it. It's Scott Perry. It's Scott Perry.

1:41:28Bill Simmons:Scott Perry? But it's not. It's really Vivek and whoever his kids are, the GM. Somebody can announce themselves at a dinner and it's like, I'm the GM of the Kings. But they're not actually the GM, right? They're not really making these moves. That'd be great if I started going to parties and just introducing myself as the GM of the Kings. You should. I just want you guys to know. I've been quiet about it, but... But I'm running the Kings. Kings GM, Joe Dumars on New Orleans, John Horst on the Bucks are our winner, Arturis on the Bulls. So I don't think we'll have this job a week from now, would be my guess.

1:42:06I just don't.

1:42:07Bill Simmons:It was really abysmal for five years here. And it's a, yeah, it's in totality, multiple year award in this case. Protein is now at Starbucks and it's never tasted so good. You can add protein cold foam to your favorite drink or try one of our new protein lattes or matcha. Try it today at Starbucks.

1:42:35Bill Simmons:K-Pop Demon Hunter's Saja Boys Breakfast Meal and Huntrix Meal have just dropped at McDonald's. They're calling this a battle for the fans. What do you say to that, Rumi? It's not a battle. So glad the Saja Boys could take breakfast and give our meal the rest of the day. It is an honor to share. No, it's our honor. It is our larger honor. No, really. Stop. You can really feel the respect in this battle. Pick a meal to pick a side. And participate in McDonald's while supplies last. The LeBradford Smith vs. MJ Award for Saddest NBA Feud, where we have LeBron vs. Memphis, Chris Paul vs. the Clippers, Stephen A.

1:43:12Bill Simmons:vs. the Pelicans, or Mark Cuban vs. Nico and the Dumonts, I think is my winner again for all the reasons I said earlier. That's my winner as well out of this group of nominees because no one is rooting for anybody in the feud. Everyone is rooting against all parties involved in the feud. and everyone is rooting for Luka Doncic to have success for another franchise. Everyone in Dallas is now somehow a Lakers fan after all of this. And so that was my saddest feud too. We're running late on time. So we're going to cut the Team Morano word for most polarizing family member. We'll just give it to Rick Brunson right now.

1:43:50I was not consulted on that. That was a committee of one.

1:43:54Bill Simmons:The 1988 Reggie Lewis. I don't know. I just like this guy award for a young guy who's not playing much yet, but you've already bought significant stock. Really important category here. Our nominees, Ron Harper, Jr. Carter Bryant, Hugo, Will Riley. He's like Madonna. He just says one name. And I can't even say it right half the time. Will Riley, a Joe house, absolute favorite, favorite. He's on my old rookie team. He should be. Kasha and George, George, Malachi Smith. Did I say that right? Malachi. Malachi Smith. Diawara on the Knicks. And my personal pick, Niederhauser. I'm not even going to try to say his first name on the Clippers.

1:44:47Bill Simmons:I love Niederhauser. I was bummed out when he got hurt. And I think they would easily be the eighth seed if he hadn't gotten hurt. The other ones, the stock's a little higher. Niederhauser, I still feel like is like dirt, dirt cheap. Um, if I was getting a little pricier, I'd be looking at Hugo, Carter Bryant are two that I would invest in. But I think those are already a little jacked up. Uh, did you have any other nominees before you give us your winner? Carter Bryant is definitely, they're not, they're not taking on more buyers at this point. People are very high on him. They've shut the IPO and that's it.

1:45:19I went again off menu. Sorry, Joe House. I went for sheer Fleming, uh, in Phoenix.

1:45:23Bill Simmons:Oh, I like him. He should have been not. Why wasn't he nominated? I can't. I got to talk to myself. Yeah, that was the guy, all the Celtic, well, the smart Celtic fans were hoping the tea leaves were showing that the Celtics might take him. And then the Suns jumped them. They traded up for that pick, I think. Or traded up, something happened. Yeah. We got Hugo. Carol Dawson Award for Most Unabashed Tank Job. Carol Dawson, the guy who invented tanking with the Rockets in the Samson-Olajuwon things. So we got Utah, Washington, Brooklyn, Indiana, Sacramento, Memphis. I'm happy giving it to all six.

1:46:03Bill Simmons:I don't really want to separate anybody. It's a really hard one. It's a hard field. Yeah, we're not picking a winner for that. I would pick a winner. Go ahead. I would congratulate the Washington Wizards, and I would pick them because they traded for not one, but two good and presumably playable NBA players pretended that they might actually play them, actually played Trey Young for a hot second, kept pretending that they might play Anthony Davis, and then just issued one medical update after another about everyone's ramping up or ramping down or ramping in various directions, and basically played neither of them, and then stopped playing other people too.

1:46:43So I mean, like, the Jaren Jackson-Jugger had surgery.

1:46:46Bill Simmons:They took out$95 million for two guys to not play them. And like, are they going to extend them? What's going to happen now? It's just, it's a bizarre one. So in a field, it's like really 1994 best picture, but I give it to the Wizards. I mean, you got to look at Brooklyn too. Just playing all these young guys they have together who don't even make sense on a basketball court together. Just throwing them out there, making sure Porter Jr. doesn't play too much, all the stuff they're doing. It's loaded. It's loaded. If we have to pick one, your Washington case was good. This is, it's a slightly mean-spirited award and I don't really care.

1:47:24Bill Simmons:The Dwight Howard. It's mean. Sorry, dude. I can't help it. I just don't really like watching you play basketball that much award. Palo, James Harden, Jalen Green, Westbrook, Zach Levine, Rudy Gobert, Trey Young. I'm not saying it's a bad brand of basketball. I'm just saying for me personally, just for me, it's not really resonating. It's not really resonating. It hasn't really resonated with me as a fan. I don't know if you have any other nominees. This is... Again, we're not happy about saying these things. No. We're just trying to be honest. Carl Anthony Towns? Sure. Let's add them. Okay. Is that your winner?

1:48:09I flirted with a couple others, but my winner of this group would probably be Zach Levine. Okay.

1:48:21Bill Simmons:I have him as well. opted into his last year of his deal at 49 million. I don't know if you saw that. Well, here's one of the marquee awards, the Ron Artest Award. Best bet to inadvertently start the next Artest Melee. Three of the people on this almost did start the next Artest Melee a couple months ago. Isaiah Stewart, The Moose, Ron Holland, Goga Patazzi, Jose Alvarado, Donovan Klingin, who I don't think gets nearly enough credit for how feisty he is. I think he's going to be involved in a really big fight at some point. Jokic, got to include him. Jalen Williams, not J-Dub, J-Will. Lou Dort.

1:49:04Bill Simmons:And the Champagny brothers, both of them. They're on separate teams. They're both in. They're both ready to go. You can see it. Who wins this for you? This is basically the who is the guy you don't want to fuck with the most in the league award. I mean, I don't know if it's that. but I know it's the award for the guy who most wants to fuck with you award. And I mean, this is becoming a pretty easy decision. It's Isaiah Stewart who, when he begins running across the entire court with fire in his eyes, it's over. Like it's, you're too late. You're too late. It's now a melee. And this is the second time he's traversed the entirety of an NBA court to get himself a piece of something.

1:49:48Bill Simmons:the Novak's Kyrie Irving award best job of maintaining good stats by not playing regularly we're just giving this to Joel Embiid well listen if you're playing once a week or every once in a while your stats are going to be really good so congratulations Joel agreed I had him too the white chocolate was a problem award he was a problem 2026 guy whose season was so much better in 47 second Twitter highlights nominees Ace Bailey, Kayshawn George, Berenje. How do you say his name? How did he get on this list? Because if you cut 47 seconds of alley-oops and blocks from him, you would think he's like the next Wemby.

1:50:31Bill Simmons:Robert Williams, Time Lord, Dang, and Nolan Traore, who's my pick. I have him. I think you could cut a really nice three-minute super mix of Traore highlights and you would be convinced he's like a future All-NBA guy. So Ace Bailey and Usman Jang would have the most like basketball-y versions. Like they'd have turnaround jumpers and post-up moves. For me, can I go off menu again? Please. Joe House got hungry again. I went Danny Wolfe because if you super cut like crazy Danny Wolfe no-look passes and then some threes and some like overhead no-look passes, you would be like, wow, this guy's like Magic Johnson out here at Point.

1:51:13like just running, running things. So I went with Danny Wolf.

1:51:16Bill Simmons:Wow. You did the triple crown there. You made Joe House hungry. You delighted Peter Schrager because this is his favorite net. And you delighted Tommy Alter as well. Triple crown. Three for three. Thank you. All right. Three awards left. These are the big ones. The Travolta and Pulp Fiction Award for Comeback of the Year. Okay. Jason Tatum, obviously. Lamella Ball. Michael Porter Jr. Brandon Ingram. and whoever else you want to nominate. I would nominate Sadiq Bey, Nikola Topic, Nikola Topic. Yeah. The entire Atlanta Hawks franchise for the mid-season comeback. But I would give the award, again, sappy and serious, I would give the award to Jason Tatum.

1:52:02Bill Simmons:Yeah, this is, this is one of those where it's like the ESPYs where he's in the front row with his family and, you know, he's getting nominated. It's like, Tatum's winning that one. We don't even talk about that. So, this is one I really wanted to give out the 2026 LVP for least valuable player. The least valuable player isn't the worst player, but it's least valuable. It's somebody that is working against your team at all times. I don't think there's a winner for this this year. I think some years you have it. Some years don't. When you have 10 teams not trying, um, I just feel like the LVP becomes a lot harder.

1:52:43Bill Simmons:in a way it could almost be given to the team to the guy that his team's trying to tank but he's been too good at messing up the tank would almost be the LVP in this situation you're messing up our draft pick that makes you the least valuable so I don't know if you feel like we should give this out I'm fine with it we could skip it you could go the other way and it could be a team that was at various points including at the beginning of the season trying to win and investigated a crap ton of resources to get you onto their team and enjoyed arguably the worst season of your entire career. Paul George?

1:53:22That's not who I was thinking of, but is perfectly fits that sort of... Who were you thinking of? I was thinking... And you didn't prep me for this one. This was not on my list of nominees. Yeah, this is...

1:53:32Bill Simmons:I went off the menu for House. I was thinking of Miles Turner, who just... Can you remember one thing that Miles Turner did this year? Like one. Wow. And he's shot 38. He's shooting 38 % on threes. He just, he's missed a lot of games now. They're tanking now, obviously. But just given the wave and stretch sign for 25 million a year, perfect fit with Giannis, blah, blah, blah. It just feels like I just never even noticed him on the court the entire season. I mean, this is why you're one of the greats. I went from thinking we shouldn't have this award to thinking you laid out the perfect and Paul George would have been another one, right?

1:54:15Bill Simmons:But Paul George actually got them under the tax by getting suspended. So in a weird way, he was viable. Miles Turner, when you throw in the stretch and what they thought it might do for their seat, basically like this Hail Mary to save their next two years. And it just didn't. And they probably, as we've talked about, overpaid him a little because centers, unless I have an all-NBA center, I don't want to pay $25 million a year for a center. I think that's a good pick. Not entirely his fault. He did choose to leave Indiana. Off the top, it's just off the top, so I'm sure we can think of other, you know, candidates.

1:54:53Bill Simmons:Final award, the 2026 League Pass MVP. This is as coveted as the real MVP. I don't know. A lot of people don't talk about that. Everyone's been drinking now for a few hours. They're getting punchy. They're ready to go to the after parties. But now they got to pay attention. They got to sit and pay attention. This is so much different than the real MVP. This is, you're going back to the legacy of like, Michael, we didn't even have League Pass in 1987. But oh my God, Michael Jordan. This is Kobe in 2006. Like, is he going to score 80 tonight? It should really be named for Blake Griffin, I think.

1:55:29Blake Griffin made League Pass. Just a thought.

1:55:33Bill Simmons:He already has an award named after him. I know. He has the Unexpected Delayed Award. So the difference between this and just being the best player in the league is this is just you're flicking around and you just keep gravitating toward the team, a player, and it's just somebody you know is going to deliver the goods. It's like your best Postmates order. 7.30, I need to, and you just go, it's your go-to. It's like, I'm hungry, where am I going? The nominees are Wemby, Joker, SGA. I only have three people here.

1:56:09Bill Simmons:Because to me, it's either Wemby or Joker. Are there any other nominees for you? I would have the Hornets as a team, but teams can't win this. It has to be a person. I mean, certainly the last month and a half, Luca has gotten into this conversation, though. I know, but it's the whole season. And if I'm going to vote for him for the season, I also have to deal with, like, Luca from that one month when he just seemed completely miserable and was just mad at every ref for two and a half straight hours. I did not seek that out on League Pass. I thought, no, I have no other nominees. I mean, if you're just talking purely who do I have to watch, who do I have to watch?

1:56:48Bill Simmons:Yeah, this is Wemby versus Joker. You want to go first or me? No, you go. I never I thought Joker would win this award 10 times in a row 15 times in a row I never thought anybody would be more must watch appointment television for me and Victor Weminyama in his third year wins this award for me you know I watch every team as equally as I can you end up watching the best teams more because when they play each other it's must watch and then by the end of the season none of these teams the tankers are not trying to win And, you know, so I can't watch every Spurs game because it would be derelict of duty to the other 29 teams in the league.

1:57:29I feel bad when I miss a Spurs game. I feel bad when I have to read about it. I feel bad when I have to watch the highlights of it. I feel like I've missed something magical. And if he does something magical, then I'll go back and watch that game. It'll be an extra game. But the pang of FOMO that I get has exceeded the Jokic FOMO. So it's Victor Wembe and Yama.

1:57:54Bill Simmons:That was my answer as well. If you're going totality of the season, Joker wins for me because I love Denver. Joe, it's just like the most reliable order you can make on Postmates or Uber Eats or wherever you're getting your food. What Wembe was doing the last six weeks, I was going out of my way to watch the Spurs, which has not happened. I don't think as much as I, And you and I are probably two of the biggest Jokic fans on the planet. Just for just watching him play basketball. He's so steady and you know he's there. It's like, you're not going to go, oh my God, I have to watch Jokic. Like when Wembe played the Warriors last week and it was clear he was in his, I'm going to make my MVP case.

1:58:38Bill Simmons:I was like, I'm just not missing that game. I don't, there's no scenario where I wasn't watching it. There was no scenario where I wasn't watching the yesterday game against the Nuggets. And he's just hit that point. It's a pretty rare point to get to. We've had it a few times since we've known each other. But I don't think like this, where it's like every game you might see five things you've never seen on a basketball court before. And it's both ends of the floor, obviously. Not that he's good on both ends of the floor. We know that. It's that he's unprecedented on both ends of the floor. It's the Spurs figuring out the lob stuff in more creative ways as it goes on, where they're just throwing it to him and he's getting it.

1:59:19Bill Simmons:And we're going to put him on the floor to get the ball, like little stuff they're just getting better at. And even you mentioned, you know, for the whole season, it's Jokic because from start to finish, this guy's going to lead the league in rebounds and assists. And he's one of the most, maybe the most efficient high volume score in the league and the magic of his passes and all that. Even Wemby like learning to reach this level, the curiosity factor was just off the charts. Like I just wanted to see every part of even the mistakes and the things he was trying that didn't work. And I wanted to see, my curiosity was just off the charts.

1:59:52Bill Simmons:He, it's the last rule of basketball. Like your eyes just gravitate to where he is on the TV. When you go to see him in person, you just find yourself just watching him. To just, even though the ball's over there, you're just seeing where he sets up. He did a thing yesterday. I think it was in the second quarter. Valenshounis tried to post him up. Did you see that play? The one where you just took the ball at its apex? He did a jump hook and Wemby didn't jump and just blocked it. And he just kind of whipped him to the ground. He got bad. But it was like, I've never seen anyone do that ever. He didn't just block it.

2:00:29Bill Simmons:He almost blocked it with his elbow. He blocked a floater in that game. I don't remember who shot it. But he came from so far away that as he was going towards the ball, he was on the right side of like the foul line as he was going toward it i thought he's just trying to scare the guy at the end of the shot clock he's like he just doesn't actually think he can block that shot and then he blocked it and i was just like i don't even know what am i supposed to do now well and as the legend grows with him you could see the other players in the league like he before it was like people at the last second realizing they should he's there i've got to change my plan here and there'd be like two seconds of discombobulation and then they would reset the play.

2:01:13Bill Simmons:Now they're recognizing it as it's happening and they're just giving up on even thinking about potentially trying to make the play. They'll dribble in the paint. They'll see him and it's like a fucking shark. Like you're a swimmer in the ocean. Like, I think that's a shark fin. I'm going to go this way. Um, they just completely bail on it. They don't even really. And then the guys that challenge him are just nuts. Like the guys that are like, I'm going to take it right to him. I'm going to bounce into his chest and double clutch and try to overpower him. And it's almost like a badge of honor that they try to do it.

2:01:44Bill Simmons:I've never seen anything like that. You know who likes to play against him and plays that way is Shen Goon. Shen Goon, you can tell, is like, this guy. I can take this guy. I'm going to try. I like that about Shen Goon. And watching Joker try to solve him and doing like, now I'm going to take him this way. I'm going to put my shoulder into him and then I'm going to bring my jump hook a little bit further back and then try to flip it a little higher and that should be okay. He was solving him like an MIT scientist trying to figure out like some sort of DNA model for something. Uh, Wemby was the, was the clear winner this year.

2:02:20Bill Simmons:Jokic, I don't know what else he could do. He's leading the league in assistant rebounds. He's doing something that only Will Chamberlain has done where you add up his first place in two categories, he's fifth in points. So if you just do one plus one plus five, he's seven. And I think that's what it is, right? One plus one. He's seven. The only one that did that was Wilt in 1968. Second in assists, first in rebounds, fourth in points, seven. And I don't think anyone in the history of the league has done that for those three categories. Usually they're like one, two, 12, two, three, 15. This is his season.

2:03:00Bill Simmons:That's why I think I have Joker second for MVP heading into this last week. interesting because you were definitely flirting with the wendy mvp idea i was i think yesterday showed the limitations of the 29 minutes a game and there's a durability with yokage that i think should um that's what i'm staring at as i think of these three guys all against each other like is it just easier to be 29 minutes a game and have that burden versus like what yokage just went through where it's like i might have to play 45 minutes today well and it adds it adds up to significantly fewer minutes if you just want to look at it in the most raw and maybe basic ways.

2:03:38It's like, I don't have it in front of me, three, 400 minute gap.

2:03:41Bill Simmons:All right. So your podcast is Tuesday morning. Thanks to Sam's Club for helping us out with this live stream. Thanks to Gahal and Eduardo as well on the Ringer side and everybody else over at the Ringer. Made up of words. I feel like it was an A+. I'm glad. I'm glad you feel that way. I feel like your brain broke like three times. We went off menu a lot, which is part of the fun of it. Yeah, it was great. Thanks to everybody at Netflix. Thanks to The Ringer. And I will see you on the rewatchables tomorrow night for Eddie and the Cruisers and then back on this feed on Tuesday. Thanks, everybody.

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