The 49ers Crush the Jet-Lag Bowl, Rams Overreactions, Bills-Texans, and Week 1 NFL Picks With Joe House

21:55Bill Simmons:Oh, I mean, it's still... It was mildly entertaining, but it was... The Niners were prepared and the Rams were not. I give it an A +, because... I don't know if the referees, when they arrived, six total penalties in the whole game. Very quietly in the back of my head, I was really enjoying no goddamn yellow flags anywhere to be seen. Just let them play. Two very good teams, no penalties. The Seattle, New England, false start here, illegal shift there. Come on, man. Let's play football. We got that tonight. Well, you know what the other thing with that Netflix, for some reason, I felt like there were less ads.

22:34Bill Simmons:I thought the first half moved fast. Yes, it did. Did you notice that? Yes, I loved how fast it moved. They were like scoring or like somebody would kick a field goal, kickoff. We just stayed on the field. We're running plays again. Yeah, it was pretty good. Okay. All right. We're going to take a break. We're going to come back with Harlan Coben's week one NFL picks. I just said that to help with the Netflix algorithm. But now we're going to take a break and come back. And House and I are going to bang out some picks. I'm pumped, buddy. The Bill Simmons podcast is brought to you by FanDuel. You know how NFL Sundays go.

23:07Bill Simmons:Start with the early games, roll into the late ones before you know it. Sunday football is kicking off and then you're watching me and Sal do Guess the Lions that night. You know the drill at this point. FanDuel has something for you every step of the way with the Sunday Spectacular. We're talking rewards throughout the day from the first games kicking off all the way through Sunday night. And if you're listening to our Thursday night podcast every week, House and I are going back and forth our four favorite bets of the week for Ringer 107, our big contest that we're having, heading toward that Sunday.

23:38Bill Simmons:And then we're gonna post one extra last minute Saturday. We're gonna post on social as we get closer to the kickoff. So feel free to ride us. We're feeling really good this year. Wherever the NFL Sunday takes you, keep an eye on the Fando app to see what's waiting for you. Maybe take the Steelers this week. I think that's my favorite bet. It's a full day of football. More ways to get rewarded along the way. Download the app to check out the Sunday Spectacular and make this your most rewarding season ever with Fandle. 21 plus select states are 18 plus DC, Kentucky, Wyoming. Restrictions apply.

24:10Bill Simmons:See terms at sportsbook.fandle.com. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes. And yet, it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory, and banking is no different. While everyone tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady, calculated money moves. And the financial wins, they just keep coming.

24:48Bill Simmons:PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865, is a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group, Incorporated, PNC Bank, National Association member, FDIC. Today's Ringer 107 picks are brought to you by FanDuel. Make this your most rewarding season ever. That's what we're going to try to do. Download the FanDuel app, check out all of our 107 picks and our boosted teaser every week this season. All right, House, we've been waiting for this all spring, all summer. We've been waiting for redemption. We are doing Ringer 107 again. We're changing the rules in general, but also for this podcast.

25:31Bill Simmons:You're getting your own five picks. I'm getting my own five picks. We're doing four today. One has to be a teaser. And then on top of that, we get to do a social media pick on Sunday. That's our fifth pick, which is hilarious because we told Raheem this today. And Raheem, who is the reason we added this rule, because all he did all weekend was would be complaining about how the lines moved and it changed. And he hates locking in these picks on Thursday. And two people on Twitter said something to him and he's upset. And then we tell him we're doing this. And then he asked on our text thread today, can I put in all my picks on Friday morning?

26:10Bill Simmons:And it was like, we created the rule for you. So Raheem rule, the Raheem rule. And he didn't want to use it. So Raheem was teasing himself through the zero. Anyway, shout out to Raheem. Shout out to the dream. Love the dream. So we added the teases because we brought the teaser back on Fando this year. They're going to do a whole teaser promotion. Six point minus 110 juice. There we go. Now we're talking. Up to$50 bets and we're doing it. Old school, baby. So that's going to be one of our things. A proper price for a teaser. God damn. Let's go. So for us, we were talking about going back and forth.

26:42Bill Simmons:And if somebody makes a pick, the other person can't use it. But we also want to win this ringer 107. There's going to be prizes. So what we're going to do, even if you take a pick and I decide I like it, I'm going to say I'm going to piggyback on yours and we're going to keep track of the piggybacks all year. And that's just going to be a code of honor. Yeah. Who piggybacked the other guy's picks. Oh, OK, good, good. Because I'm going to try not to piggyback your picks. But we want to give the people lots of things to consider, lots of ways of looking at the world. We, as we've advanced into our, you know, AARP stage of life, we see the world the same way quite a bit, you know, quite often.

27:27So we'll probably...

27:29Bill Simmons:You and I see the world the same way. That's what I just said. You and I see the world the same way. Yeah, I didn't know where you were going with that. I got nervous for a second. We're more aligned than not these days. Yeah, like we see a story like Aaron Rodgers complaining on a podcast that he proposed to Shailene Woodley. but she has to have sex with somebody one more time. And you and I are probably going to have the same reaction to that, which we don't need to share in a podcast. That's right. But I think you and I are on the same wavelength on that whole story. The whole thing's a little suspicious.

27:57That's all.

27:59Bill Simmons:So every week we're going to alternate. This week, because it's week one, you're going to go first with your first pick. Then I'll go with mine. And we'll keep going. We should mention, I really like this season. I like the week one slate. I remember last year being just like trying to talk myself into certain matchups. This one, it's an embarrassment of riches. I had multiple things for the tees. The lines line up to like teams I really liked heading into the season, going against teams I didn't like that much heading into the season. And we had on Wednesday, I thought was a good example of the Pats line seemed a little high.

28:35Bill Simmons:They covered this Australia game. Just throw it out. I think with the travel and stuff where we've learned nothing from that. We are going to learn stuff from these Sunday games. House, you have the first pick. What are you going to do? Let's go. So this will be, you just hit on this. I want to bet immediately on teams that I have a favorable opinion of for the entire season. I just want to get right into not a lot of foreplay. We're going right to the meat of the matter. And that's why the first pick here is the Houston Texans at home catching points from the Buffalo Bills, which is really just a wonderful opportunity.

29:15A couple of ways of looking at this. In the first place, Josh Allen has had a problem with the Buffalo Bills and especially the Buffalo. No, against the Houston Texans, the Houston Texans. Yes, that's what I meant.

29:28Bill Simmons:Was it one in four lifetime? One in four and oh, and four when they play in Houston. I think that this Houston defense is absolutely magnificent coming into this season. They're the best defense, in my opinion, even with the outstanding performance that we saw last night from the Seattle Seahawks. That's pretty good defense. Even we have your wise guys show. And on this podcast, we were all in on the Texans across the board. That's 100 % correct. And part of that is on the offensive side of the board for me. And I think that this Texans offense has an enormous space to improve into. You have to remember that they had new offensive coordinator, Nick Cayley, last year.

30:14And he had in mind a rush attack that never materialized. It could not come together because Joe Mixon got hurt at the beginning of the season and didn't play a single down. I think that the addition—

30:27Bill Simmons:And by the way, the guy they replaced him with is no longer playing football, Nick Chubb. He is retired. And Woody Austin's a fine third down back. Woody Marks, yeah. Marks. Austin Marks, I'll get it. Hey, it's a week one start. Yeah, yeah. But now they have David Montgomery, who you and I both love, who is kind of a sneaky fantasy guy. And he's a move the chains, four yards of carry, good around the end zone. He's serviceable. Yes, exactly. So, I mean, in making the case for Houston, the one unit that I trust in this game is the defense. And they've done a really nice job. They have exactly the right personnel to cabin up Josh Allen.

31:08And we've seen it, you know, with our own eyes. And I think that there's tons of potential for this Houston offense. I think that I wouldn't mess with this game if Houston was favored. And I think they should be favored. But there's just too good of an opportunity here. catching the points.

31:24Bill Simmons:It's in the tic-tac zone. It's Buffalo by one and a half. I think Houston should be favored by one and a half, so I'm with you. There's also the Keyshawn Booty where the Pats trade him. A.J. Brown gets hurt. They don't have Keyshawn Booty to put in for A.J. Brown, and I just know he's going to do something in this Texans game. Yeah, there's a giant question mark surrounding this Bills defense. New defensive coordinator Jim Leonard coming over from the Broncos. There's a personnel question at all three levels with this Bills defense, And if the Texans, they sucked last year, they did. Whenever people wanted to go down the field on them, they did.

32:00Bill Simmons:And what's going to be better about it this year? One of the worst run defenses in the NFL last season. I kind of expect to see the same. So if Houston comes out and establishes the run, then I really like what they can do. Obviously, the Houston offensive line, you don't you're not going to go crazy for that. The only pushback for this is, you know, you're betting. It's an incredible Josh Allen. Yes, the numbers are incredible. And interestingly, C.J. Stroud, three seasons, 0-6 against the spread in the first two weeks of the season. But that's the counterbalance to this Houston angle. It's just some trend stuff.

32:41Bill Simmons:There's some good football nerd stuff with this matchup, too. Like the kind of defense the Texans have where they can spy Allen and they can basically just make him for it. DJ Moore will be the big X factor that they didn't have last year. Can he get open? But I don't know. I think Texans, I think they have the best defense in the league and this is the perfect defense to go against Josh Allen. It's Petrie at the super nickel. He's like not just nickel, he's super nickel. So that's what you're getting at. So the fear would be CJ Stroud would be the fear that he just basically does what he did in the playoffs last year.

33:16Bill Simmons:I had them down as a straight up as well, but I moved them into the teaser section. Oh, good for you. Which I might as well just do now as my first pick. Great. Nothing more fun in a teaser than taking a home team you'd like to possibly win anyway and bringing them over the seven. So with the six-point teaser, you can bring them the plus seven and a half, which is just wonderful because this is either, I think this is either a one-score game where Houston kicks their ass. But I think they'll hang around. I think they're going to win, but I'm happy to take the plus seven and a half. And in general, I think they're the best AFC team.

33:55I want to pat you on the back for this Houston teased leg, especially because these games are always super low scoring between these teams. They don't combine for many points when they play. So that plus seven and a half is very valuable in that context.

34:08Bill Simmons:And they have a top five field goal kicker. They're home. I just, I like getting that many points. and I'm going to put that with the Jaguars minus two and a half with the caveat. I know this is an obvious pick. They're home. They're eight and a half point favorites against the Browns. It's Deshaun Watson. I have a bunch of reasons I like this one. I don't really like the Jaguars that much this year. They'll be somewhere nine and eight, eight, nine, whatever, but this is a nice spot for them. Two things. One, we have two more chances in our lives to bet against Deshaun Watson. This week. This is one of them.

34:41Bill Simmons:And next week. And then we'll never have the chance again unless it's a situation where he's like the third string quarterback on a team that has a situation like what the Falcons had this week where the top two guys are out. So I just want to enjoy this and enjoy our last stretch here with having money against him and watching him throw grounders to guys across in the middle and fumble and scramble at the wrong times and throw it in a triple coverage. That will be fun. It's so sad because the Browns actually have some weapons and talent on offense. Right. And maybe by week three, they'll unleash them.

35:13Bill Simmons:The other thing, and we talked about this, um, maybe Sal and I talked about it Sunday. It, the weather is going to be hot and humid in Jacksonville. They're saying low nineties with the humidity way higher than that. It might be a little drizzle. It's just going to suck. It's going to be like, uh, you know, like a Miami vice episode basically. So you have a road team that normally is, you know, playing outdoors in Cleveland dealing with the humidity. You have Deshaun Watson, who's already got enough obstacles against him. You have a brand new coach. You have no Jim Schwartz for the Browns defense, who always seemed like he was worth a couple wins.

35:49Bill Simmons:And this is one of those, if the Jags can't win by three, punt the season with them. Then that tells me they're going to be like a 7-10 team. So, my teaser is Texans plus 7.5, Jaguars minus 2.5. Jaguars keep it a one-score game and the Jags just have to win by by three. Feeling pretty good about that one as my first. So this is an incredible segue because shocker, I also have the Jaguars as one of the legs in my teaser for all the reasons you just laid out, but most prominently, one of our last cherished opportunities to bet against Deshaun Watson. That's the number one thing here for sure. They should have a ceremony before the game.

36:31Well, we could do it.

36:32Bill Simmons:People should walk all the different people who run the online sports books, The CEO should come out. Christian could come out from FanDuel. He could give Deshaun a watch. Thank you for your service. You've made so many betters money over the years. We know you have two weeks left. Here you go. I just, it's somewhat emotional. Three weeks from now, we'll never have this chance again. It's emotional to our pocketbooks for sure. Other leg for me of the tease, and there are many, many good candidates. I love your Houston leg. I'm putting it with the Lions, where the line has moved from seven and a half down to six and a half.

37:13So not getting the benefit of moving through, but the Lions down to a half point from six and a half down to a half. So Lions winning outright at home against the New Orleans Saints as a teaser leg. It's a kind of a must play. I mean, for sure, the Saints have a lot of pundits blowing smoke up their skirt for this upcoming season. I understand all the reasons that Kellen Moore seems like he's a pretty damn good coach. Wait, do you understand the reasons? Well, because I don't really understand the reasons. It's the shock and Kellen Moore when they went on their little mini run over the last portion of last year.

37:53Which you can pick apart easily with the schedule they played. Bad teams and bad quarterbacks. But New Orleans did beat them. They did. And they did beat the Buccaneers, which really had a big role in keeping the Buccaneers out of the playoffs and kept them from winning the stinky NFC South. I still have questions about the Saints' defense. And I think this Detroit team is absolutely loaded on offense. There is some moving parts on the offensive line that are a tiny bit concerning. and it's fine to point at the holes in the secondary for Detroit, you know, with Branch and Joseph both out and Terran Arnold.

38:34Well, there's going to be, and Terran Arnold gone.

38:36Bill Simmons:Yeah, there's going to be a week. Abroad. There's going to be a week in these first four weeks when they get absolutely torched by a QB. I don't think this is the week. And even if this is, you know, ends up a shootout kind of thing, I'll just take the half point. That'll be fine. All I'm asking them to do is win the football game in this tease context. And the Dan Campbell record is wonderful. I mean, he's great against the spread. He's great in the opening part of seasons. He has one of the strongest against the spread records in season openers. This Lions team has something to prove. They're forecasted to get to 11 wins.

39:14This better be one of the wins. So I'm playing them as the other leg of my teaser.

39:18Bill Simmons:I thought it was curious that the line dropped. and I think it dropped under a touchdown because of the cheap touchdown potential with Shuck who we watched do in the second half of last year against a Lions team that the secondary is shaky where this is like Lions are up 14 with three minutes left and Shuck does the drive and all of a sudden and I think that's why it went down. I think the way you played it, this was my backup choice for a team, the Lions. So there's three teams that could really F you. on a big-ass tease. One is the Lions, who you took. One is the Jaguars, who I took. And then the third one would be the Chargers, if you wanted to bring them down to three and a half.

40:04Bill Simmons:I got to be honest. I looked at that Chargers game. The Cardinals were the other team I was looking at for a tease, and I backed off because they're the Cardinals. But that line is minus nine and a half. are we sure the Chargers defense is I kind of like the Chargers but are we sure their defense is even going to be that good this year and getting that up to 15 and a half with the way the Cardinals had some of the garbage time shit they did last year that seemed kind of appetizing they might be the kings of the back door this upcoming season with LeFleur I mean this is why I've been cautious with my Arizona exposure this season they have talent on offense I mean, they still have weapons across the board, and they still have running backs to come in.

40:48They can block a little bit, too.

40:50Bill Simmons:Yeah, yeah. Percent wasn't bad last year. I don't know. A lot of running backs. They have big play potential with two receivers, plus Jeremiah Love. Yeah, decent receiver room, plus Trey McBride. I don't want to be on the wrong side of the back door with that one. I thought plus 15 and a half was enticing, but ultimately, I didn't want to do it. All right, so you have two picks.

41:13Bill Simmons:I gotta do this one next I just love the Bucs this week and I like the Bucs in general this season they're plus three and a half in Cincinnati Cincinnati has been a very sexy preseason team we've talked about it for the last couple weeks of pods I like this spot for a couple reasons one, this line is basically saying they think Cincinnati has two points better than the Bucs because the minus one and a half is a neutral field I just completely disagree with that. I think these two teams are, I would have them even, and I think the Bucs might actually be a slight more talent proficient. What's the opposite of deficient?

41:52Bill Simmons:Proficient? Sure. Talent loaded? Talent affirmative? Talent affirmative? I don't know. I just like their team more. This feels like a back-and-forth game. there's some unbelievable stats with the Bengals in week one which we just forget every year with Zach Taylor. Every year they look awful in week one. Last week they almost lost to the Browns. It was that 17-16 game which I think they fucked everybody over on the T's if I remember correctly. I think they were favored by like eight or eight and a half and somehow they won but didn't cover the T's. I don't trust Zach Taylor at all. This whole Joe Burrow is going to be under center a lot more this year when all the stats say he's bad when he's under center.

42:37Bill Simmons:That worries me. And I like the Bucs. I think this team's pretty good. They had a great draft. And I think they can go in there and throw some punches. It feels to me like an either-or, three-point game. Somebody's going to have the ball at the end with a chance to win. And I think the Bucs could win. I like the money line, too, in this game house. But for the purposes of our contest, I would go Bucs plus three and a half. That's interesting. Part of the thing also that I like, you know the Buccaneers are coming in off of a failure to cover streak they haven't covered nine straight games so I like this one coming in you know sort of angle wise um but the the real compelling thing is these these uh home openers um to burrow has Zach Taylor yeah and he's he's four and eight against the spread uh in terms of um the first two games of the season so right Right.

43:35So Bucks, they're plus 168 for the money line.

43:40Bill Simmons:If you wanted to potentially put them with another dog, and we'll talk about some of the other dogs. All right, you have the third pick. What is it? I am going with, and this is against one of your rules, but I don't know if it applies in week one. I'm going to a shit game, and it is the New York Jets at the Tennessee Titans. Listen, you think I'm surprised that you're doing this? You have nine Jets bets. You might have 10 Jets. How many Jets bets have you been in the last three months? I have said, and you know, the Jets is, I have the Jets a million ways on teaser legs as well. So yes, I have the Jets all over the place.

44:20Many of those bets that I'm referring to when I'm making the references in our threads about having Jets exposure, it's in this, the tease context. I have them teased with Houston. I have them teased with the Jags. I have them.

44:33Bill Simmons:I just can't put bad teams in the tease. I'm going to really try not to do that this year. I like the straight up. The, the Salah revenge game is funny. Cause I don't, does he even have revenge in him? I don't know. No, no, they looked, he has, he has semen in him. I mean, he does have nine kids. Right. But they had a, probably the worst buzz of any AFC team in the preseason. Right. Like they, at the beginning of August, people were seriously looking at them as like, could that be a worst of first? Right? Could that be the Patriots this year? They fiddle out of the profile. By the end of the preseason, people were wondering if they could win four games.

45:17So I like this a lot.

45:20Bill Simmons:It scares me. It's a stay away for me because of what we saw from Gino last year, which is now, it's funny, we get amnesia with all this stuff, but Gino was really reprehensibly awful last year. And now it is because in September of the new year, it's like, well, his offensive line was terrible and he didn't have any weapons and Bowers got hurt half the year. And it's like - All those things are true. Or he was awful. I don't, or maybe it's both. Both. Maybe those things were true and he was awful. Both things could be true. But he might be completely washed though. He might be, but they have a vastly superior offensive line with the New York Jets than what he experienced with the Raiders.

46:01This might even be, and folks can look it up and see, this offensive line for the Jets might be better than the offensive line that Geno played with in Seattle before he jumped over to the Raiders. You can go back and look. That Seattle team was decent, but that offensive line could not establish the run. I think that this offensive line against the Titans, and the Titans' front seven is good, and that's the strength of the team, but I think they're going to be able to establish the run And very quietly, the Jets did something that was curious. They gave us the indication they were going to be in rebuilding mode.

46:34And then they went out in the offseason and got a bunch of talent. They got talent on both sides of the football. We all liked them. We all liked the over. Yeah, we had like seven, eight wins possibly for them. Yeah. So I look at this offense and, you know, they establish a run with Brees Hall. they have A.D. Mitchell joining opposite Garrett Wilson

46:57Bill Simmons:it looks like Cooper, it didn't seem like Cooper had a good preseason that was one where they thought, because it was like the Jets have three first rounders and it's unclear if Cooper's going to play, so counters to the Jets buzz here they're the Jets, that would be my biggest counter, it's a good counter you just have to keep your guard up at all times I like that you're playing them straight up and that you're not putting them in a tease, I'm with you I think they should be favored in this game I think when Sal and I did guess the line Sunday, I think I was off by four points on this. Because I just assumed the Jet, why are the Titans favored against anyone other than Miami?

47:31Bill Simmons:Yeah, maybe Miami is the only team, right? Right. That's the point here. And it was, there was a time, I think this line opened at two and a half and it's, you know, bet down to one and a half, which tells you a little bit of something directionally about the market. But the Titans over the last three seasons haven't been favored very often. They're 1-8 against the spread as a favorite. So I'll go ahead and take that. I like this Jets team. If we are going to get to a Jets over, then this is one of the wins. Right. And that's part of the priors. They're not going 7-10 or 8-9 if they don't win this game.

48:05Bill Simmons:I think that's fair. All right, we're going to take a break and then we're going to do the rest of the picks. And now it's time for a special part of today's episode brought to you by our buddies at NFL Sunday Ticket. With NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV, You get every game, every Sunday, all in one place. And I cannot recommend it highly enough. YouTube, as you know, has crowned me their CMO, their chief multi-view officer. It's my job to tell you which four games deserve a spot in your multi-view this week. Well, obviously Tampa, Cincinnati. Fantasy guys galore. I love Tampa just in general this season.

48:40Bill Simmons:And I don't like Cincinnati that much. So you can guess where I'm standing on that one. Buffalo, Houston is the best game of the week. Cleveland Jacksonville just from a what's going to happen with the Cleveland quarterback situation plus Jacksonville scores a lot of points I have my eye on that one and then my last pick would be Baltimore at Indianapolis Baltimore as road favorites Indianapolis all the signs pointing toward them being frisky at least for this one so those would be my four also keeping an eye on Atlanta Pittsburgh as well for for financial reasons for myself you can guess what I'm talking about there.

49:18Bill Simmons:Um, that is the beauty of multi view. You don't just have to watch Houston Buffalo, which is going to be awesome. Fit three other games in there as well. Instead of flipping channels every two minutes, you just build your own Sunday slate. New users can get NFL Sunday ticket for eight payments of just$30 a month. Get every game, every Sunday on one place with NFL Sunday ticket and YouTube TV. New users pay$240 or eight, eight non-cancelable payments of $30 a month. First charge at purchase availability varies with NFL Sunday ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local and national games.

49:48Bill Simmons:YouTube TV required. Terms, restrictions, and embargoes apply. Commercial use excluded. No refunds. This episode is brought to you by my old friend, NFL Sunday Ticket. Kickoff's coming and with NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV, you get every game, every Sunday, all in one place. New users can get NFL Sunday Ticket for eight payments of just$30 a month. New users pay$240 or eight, eight non-cancelable payments of$30 a month. First charge of purchase, availability varies with NFL Sunday Ticket for out-of-market games and YouTube TV for local and national games. YouTube TV required. Terms, restrictions, and embargoes apply.

50:22Bill Simmons:Commercial use excluded. No refunds. This episode is brought to you by NBA 2K27. We just had one of the craziest off-seasons we've had in the NBA, which is perfect for 2K because every 2K season could be one of the craziest off-seasons. The whole league shifted in real life. It could shift to an NBA 2K27. The best place to compete with these new look rosters, and also try to figure out who's on what roster. You can see how new teams and new dynamic duos match up. You can play Philly, feel what it's like to have all their new guys with the old guys. And you can also take a struggling franchise to the NBA finals if you want, because it'll never happen in real life for a couple of the struggling franchises.

51:08Bill Simmons:You know who I'm talking about. Anyway, NBA 2K lets you experience every transaction and storyline right from your home. pick up your copy of NBA 2K27 right now. All right, coming back. I have two picks left. You have one pick. This one is easy. I can't believe it's still on the board. It might be our first piggyback. Cowboys Sunday night minus two and a half against the Giants. I think this line's inexplicable. It's been between two and a half and three all week. By the time when we locked down the lines on Thursday, it was Cowboys minus two and a half. I'm grabbing it. Dak has had a lot of success against the Giants and in general, this whole division.

51:56Bill Simmons:This isn't the Giants team that I think we're going to see probably in week eight when they have all their dudes back. Like we're not getting, you know, 70 plays from neighbors in this game. They don't have Wandale Robinson this year, which I think people forget. He had a thousand yards for them last year. He's on the Titans now. and look, this is a classic. I was high on the Cowboys. I was low on the Giants and it's a borderline miracle that they're playing each other and that this is the line. I honestly do not understand the line. I think the line should be Cowboys minus four and a half. This is a case of people are like, ah, suspicious of this Cowboys thing.

52:36Bill Simmons:And it's like, I think they're going to be really good. I don't love that they lost their all pro guard right before the season. That's my only fear, especially against this Cowboys defensive line. But, man, if you think the Cowboys are going to be good this year, you have to take them in this game. So Cowboys minus two and a half. I'm taking them. Is this a first piggyback? This is a piggyback. I'm looking at my notes. I had them right here. I could not agree more vigorously with the proposition that this is underpriced. And it's a market that is reflecting sentiment that is not in alignment with reality.

53:14This is a Harbaugh driven. He's going to come right the ship. Look at the offensive coordinator. This is the thing that really pushes it over. Go ahead. Let's do it. You're going to put Jackson Dart in the hands of Matt Effing Nagy. Show me the last time that we saw Matt Nagy give us anything that looked like innovation, that looked like modern football. I mean, this is a wonderful opportunity. So if this Dallas defense has any of the potential that we've come into this season, anticipate, we better see it because their offensive line remains to my way of looking at it shaky. It is not a top half of the league offensive line.

54:04Yeah. Neighbors. Who the hell knows? It's a it's a it's a receiver room. Wondale going abroad is not helpful to Dart he was Dart's safety blanket go take a look Scadabo coming off of you know that bad injury this is not a team that is built to hang in with the Dallas Cowboys within a field goal unless Dallas' defense looks like last year and that's the big open question the other element of this

54:36Bill Simmons:they've spent money, they've spent draft picks And as the Bundle pointed out on Ringer Wise, guys, 17 of the 26 guys from last year's defense no longer play professional football. That seems relevant. That's interesting. But look, their defense, I mean, you could say the same about Cincinnati. And you could honestly say the same about the Lions. Their defense just needs to be somewhere between 14 and 17 for them to be a 10-win team. I think that's going to happen, especially with the schedule they have. The Giants' secondary is super gettable. You're going to let Dak cook with the weapons that he has.

55:11I mean, they better get the pass rush. No Dexter Lawrence. Okay, well, let's see. When Dexter Lawrence isn't occupying two linemen, let's go ahead and see what these other guys have in them.

55:24Bill Simmons:You also have the Brandon Aubrey factor. That's worth three points. You have a Giants home game, but you know there's going to be Cowboy fans there. You know it. I don't know how many Cowboy fans, but they're going to be there, and they're going to be loud. so the one thing that we'll just confess up front we are putting ourselves in harm's way with one of the most compelling week one trends go ahead talk about this divisional home dogs you go back 20 years when two teams inside the same division are playing each other and one of them is at home as an underdog they are 27 and 16 against the spread this is from the good people at action network, 11 and four against the spread since 2018, 19 and six against the spread since 2012, 25 and nine against the spread since 2000.

56:12So all of the more recent vintage reflects that that home dog is valuable, that home. But I think the line reflects that.

56:21Bill Simmons:And I, and the Seattle, New England line on Wednesday night was the same thing because it was three and a half. And I think, I think it was as high as it was because of the Super Bowl and the loser and all that. It was basically an extra point toward the Pats, which ended up helping them cover. So in this case, it's the other way. Drew Luckett's quarterback helped them cover. Yeah, that did help us cover. We lost him anyway because our quarterback threw three interceptions. That did happen. He became the first quarterback since Cordell Stewart in 2001 to throw three picks in the fourth quarter of a game he had a lead in.

56:57Are you feeling half full or half empty? Glass half full, glass half empty about the Patriots. You've now had 24 hours to process it.

57:06Bill Simmons:First of all, thank you for asking. I've landed here. Drake had no preseason. A.J. Brown got hurt halfway through the game. The game plan was awful, and the Seahawks have an awesome defense and we're at home. When we started the podcast last night, I felt like we were going to go 6-11. Now I'm like, you know what? There was a Pat Super Bowl, 03 team maybe, 04, one of those ones where they got killed by Buffalo 31-0 in week one, and they ended up rolling off. So I'm just trying to calm down. But Drake was really bad, and I don't really have an explanation for it. He was just really awful. Well, I have an explanation for it.

57:50The Patriots couldn't establish the run. And so you let that... Well, they kept trying.

57:54Bill Simmons:Man, we kept running it on every first down and getting stuffed. And Seattle was like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. I mean, there is a tiny bit of a mismatch there. That offensive line for the Patriots isn't quite up to that elite level to take on a front seven like Seattle and the innovation of Seattle. What McDonald brings to the table and stunts and simulated pressure and all that stuff. What you saw out of Byron Murphy all game long, moving side to side. They couldn't locate him. And he was awesome. Yes. I think it was an awful, awful, awful game plan. And it really, it honestly concerned me because it was just the opposite.

58:35Bill Simmons:Like Danny Kelly was on the pod. He was like everything the Pats did. He was like relieved and excited. That shouldn't be the case. It shouldn't be. Please don't throw deep on our precocious cornerbacks with A.J. Brown. They never did it. They never went to him once. Here's the surprising thing to me. The single best weapon and the thing that keeps that Seattle defense off kilter off of being able to just load up is Drake running. And he's so good at it. Yeah. Drake may running, not scrambling, scrambling. He's very good at design runs. Yeah. Yes. Almost like you were doing video games. You send everyone deep and roll them out.

59:13If you can't establish the run, then let the quarterback run. They can't account for it. That's the one position that makes it a challenge. which I'm sure Josh McDaniels is in the lab cooking up some stuff to respond.

59:25Bill Simmons:It was a horrible, horrible, horrible game plan, and they were not aggressive enough, and they lost the game in the first two hours of the game before Drake May ended up actually losing the game. I agree with all of that. They played like 10 points was good enough to win. They did the same thing in Denver last year, and it actually worked because they played the odds right with their backup quarterback, but the Seattle defense is a different animal at home than Denver was in a snowstorm. Also, remember, the weather in Denver went from like, you know, perfectly solid. And then all of a sudden we're playing in a blizzard.

1:00:00Like the weather produced that outcome as much as the backup quarterback, as much as Jarrett Siddham.

1:00:05Bill Simmons:The Super Bowl, making the Super Bowl really threw off all of the expectations and everything about this Pats team, which was a young team that last year that probably shouldn't have made the Super Bowl. And now it feels like they should be a contender on par with some, I think they have as much talent as Buffalo but I don't, I don't defensively like Seattle and Houston, possibly Philly. Like I want to see this Philly defense, especially this weekend, but for sure. There's a defensive class at teams. That's just the whole level above the paths. Anyway, I don't like that. It's 10 days till the next game too.

1:00:38Cause in Boston, everyone's going, Oh, everyone's going crazy. But it's a home game against who somebody decent Pittsburgh. They have a good front seven. Yeah.

1:00:49Bill Simmons:And speaking of Pittsburgh, I thought about holding this pick because we get one extra pick on Sunday and holding this pick, hoping that Tua was going to be cleared to play and that the line was going to go down. Because this was three and a half. This was three, three beginning of the week, got to three and a half. It was still too low because Tua was the quarterback in Pittsburgh against a team that has a really good pass rush. And Tua is not a starting quarterback anymore. He gets hurt. Now it's Cooper Rush. Line goes to four and a half, which is in the Vegas zone. And you have this weird Steelers team with Aaron Rodgers that inexplicably doing this super candid podcast right before the season.

1:01:32Bill Simmons:I don't know what he was thinking. Inexplicably. Inexplicable podcast. Although I did enjoy the shots at Danica Patrick. It worries me to lay this many points with them. but I think before the year I had the Steelers at 10 wins. I actually like McCarthy. I think they're going to be a playoff team. And I think the Falcons have a chance to be the worst team in the league or at least the worst team in the NFC. And this is minus four and a half. And I wonder in five weeks, is this line minus eight, minus eight and a half. So I'm going to hold my nose and I'm going to lay the four and a half. I think in real life, we don't have a parlay option for this, but to me, this is a natural money line parlay with something else.

1:02:18Bill Simmons:Just take Steelers money line, put it with another game. Like if you like the Ravens, maybe you like the Bengals money line, but I like that Steelers money line with something else. I thought about teasing them through the zero and putting them in the tease. Don't do it. Just to lay the smack down with Raheem just right away to show him. That's not a smack down. That's a dumb down. Don't do it. Yeah, that was a dumb down. That's why I didn't do it. good ones out here. So I'm going to hold my nose and I'm going to do Steelers minus four and a half against a Falcons team that looks like it's starting Cooper Rush.

1:02:50Well, I'm putting together a parlay, a Moneyline parlay. Oh, boy, do I love this one. What is it? I came dressed in my team's garb today to show my respect, to show my enthusiasm. No games have been played. Hope Springs Eternal. It's a divisional game. Washington has demonstrated an ability to be feisty with the Eagles. They've also gotten slaughtered by the Eagles. But they, look, it's week one. Nobody knows anything about this Washington defense. Oh, so you like their

1:03:24Bill Simmons:money line for this? I sure do not. No, sir. Why are you bringing up Washington? You already made your four picks. No, I'm just saying you raised the idea of a little money line parlay. Why wouldn't we just go ahead and give the people a way of looking at some other games. This Philadelphia Eagles team is so good in the trenches. And on paper right now, on paper, the Washington team is very bad in the trenches, especially with the absence of Larrant. I know where you're going. See, this... I'm not playing... No, I've already looked at this. Any numbers. I'm not playing the numbers. But look, the Eagles on the money line, parlayed with the Steelers on the money line, is dead even money.

1:04:05Plus 100. I am betting that. I'm telling you right now. Philadelphia Eagles at home, beating Washington on the money line, Pittsburgh Steelers at home, beating the Atlanta Falcons at home, even money line parlay. Let's go. That's one that I'm getting down right now. Okay?

1:04:25Bill Simmons:I really like it. And I wanted to talk about some possible options for the fifth pick. And one of these was the Eagles, which is five and a half right now. And I think the way to play them is the money line with the Steelers and hold your nose and bet against two bad teams on the road, basically. My fear with the Eagles and why I didn't put them in a tease other than it would have teased them through the zero. How many times have we been fucked over by an Eagles-Washington game one way or the other? It's once a year. It's once a year. Something weird happens, right? And I don't understand for the life of me why this line isn't seven and a half.

1:05:03Right.

1:05:04Bill Simmons:Other than these divisional matchup, all that shit. That's really the only reason. But the Eagles have way more talent. They're dominant in the trenches. Washington is going to be the opposite, especially because you don't have Tunsil. And I just, I'm dumbfounded by this line. Is it because the Eagles receivers? The line is telling you. Well, it's an unknown quantity with the offense. In its entirety, right? Because Wicks is the number two receiver for them now because Lemon, I guess, wasn't good in the preseason. Oh, he's hurt. He has a hamstring problem, Lemon. Yeah, but I think he's playing week one.

1:05:36I understand, but I'm just saying we barely saw him because he missed a big chunk of preseason. But you can see it in the fantasy drafts

1:05:42Bill Simmons:because I had two. I had one on Monday and one on Tuesday. And Lemon, I don't even think Wicks got drafted. Lemon was like$1 at the end of the draft. Like, this is not nothing. So, you know, if Devontae Smith is, oh, he was a number two all along, what's the basketball analogy for this? Well, not Bradley Beal. Not Bay of Beal. Bradley Beal took Chris Paul's number. The Clippers are like, they had a staff meeting. Did Chris Paul get the number? Chris Paul's number three. I know, but so what? Bradley Beal was number three for the Wizards. I know, but Chris Paul... Chris Paul's legacy isn't the Clippers.

1:06:27Bill Simmons:Well, whose legacy is he then? What team is his legacy? The New Orleans Hornets? He played for the Clippers the longest. Like, he had most of his good years there. All right. I just think if the Clippers were ever going to retire a number, it would be Chris Paul or Blake Griffin. They have no retired numbers. They showed us what they think of Chris Paul. I know. They kicked him to the curb unceremoniously. So on top of that, they gave his jersey number to Beta Beal. What a fuck you that is. They should have given it to Uncle Dennis. We've given Uncle Dennis number three. Well, yeah. I mean, three is one worse than two.

1:07:07And he took a giant number two all over that organization. They should retire Kawhi's number.

1:07:12Bill Simmons:The Clippers, they have staff meetings trying to figure out how their fans can possibly hate them more. They haven't apologized to their fans. They've said nothing. What about the lawsuit? Oh, we're going to sue. What happened? This whole thing was nine days ago. What are you guys going to do? The season's starting in a month, in five weeks. What are you going to tell your season ticket holders? Look at the other teams that cheat the salary cap. Look at the, I'm not going to name teams or players, but I guess that's it.

1:07:46Anyway, Devontae Smith might be just a number two. You're right. the problem is we have no idea what the hell's going on. I'll tell you the Clippers are definitely a number two.

1:07:55Bill Simmons:Okay. So, yeah. So here's some possibles for my fifth pick on, on Sunday right now, leaning toward Broncos plus two and a half against the chiefs. I, I didn't do it in the ringer one Oh seven now. Cause I'm really hoping that goes to three. I want to take the Broncos plus three. It's a super cheap, um, two and a half. It's minus one Oh five. so the three is right around the corner at a fair like minus 118 minus 120 to get the three that's super fair that's a very fair price what's our 107 it's midnight saturday night oh i i got it i'm not i'm not going to circumvent i'm going to play by the number that is the number do we have a piggyback rule for the fifth pick or no everybody might grow okay well so it doesn't matter yeah so that's who i i already i mean that's who i'm i'm 96 there already with denver i thought about them long and hard for the tees too that was the other one they were one of the runners up amazing teaser leg i don't understand how this isn't a one score game one way or the other i think denver both of us think denver is just better than kansas city so that was one um i'm still looking at that panthers bears line there's a lot of good things at toward the Panthers in that, especially the weather is going to be really bad.

1:09:16Bill Simmons:It's going to be hot and humid. I think that's going to be an advantage for them. The Bears... I think Panthers are a very live teaser leg also. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But they did have the bad juju preseason, which worries me, so I'm going to stare at that a little longer. I'm staying away from Ravens-Colts except for the over, I thought. It was enticing. The over is 47 seven and a half right now. It's indoors. Yes. And I don't really trust either defense. And I wonder if that is going to be a point bonanza. So we're allowed to make overs for the fifth one, right? I don't know. Or is it just for teasers?

1:09:57Bill Simmons:Oh yeah. It's for teasers. Sorry. Oh yeah. Right, right, right. Yeah. I mean, I like that over quite a bit. Also that, that, that game is fascinating. I decided to stay out of it. Just like you, but I don't like the hook. It's Ravens three and a half. I don't like Ravens have cooked. Lamar has absolutely cooked against Anarumo defenses. He's annihilated them. But I can't get into a game with a guy coming off an Achilles at record speed. I just, you know, oh, he looks fine. He's been fine in practices. We haven't seen him under center. We haven't seen him try and play proper football against it.

1:10:34But I'm very skeptical about Danny Dimes coming out and just, boom, slotting right in and stiking in that offense being, you know. But maybe modern miracle medicine, maybe so. I just need to see it before I'm going to bet on any of it.

1:10:52Bill Simmons:They're a 14, 13-point teaser candidate, that over-under, too. You bring that down to 34 and a half. It's the 35 points covers. They'll have that at halftime. Yeah. It's back. Are you putting out Sunday morning? Fando would not give us juice on the... Yeah, no, I'm going to send it to you guys. Fando would not give us the juice on the 13-point teaser. Maybe we could talk to Christian. I don't know. But yeah, getting that down to 34 and a half, I think there's going to be... Plus, it's in a dome. Yeah. I just think there's going to be points in that game. And then the other one I was looking at was that Titans-Jets game that you already took.

1:11:31Bill Simmons:Like the two stayaways for me, Raiders Dolphins, especially with Bowers out,

1:11:42Bill Simmons:what really annoys me about this is it's one of the late games. There's only like four late games, and I know we're going to all end up betting on this game. I don't want to bet on this game. I'm betting on it. I don't want to bet on it. I want to stay away from it. It's stupid to bet on it, and I know it's going to suck us in, but Raiders minus three. now without Bowers I don't think they have a single receiver or tight end on their roster that would get like a 70 in Madden right? that's true, right? yes they have two running backs but right, not a receiver or tight end and then the Dolphins, who the F knows but then the other stay away to me Vikings Packers I really wanted to talk myself into the Packers I just can't there's bad matchups everywhere if Kyler and his first start going against Jonathan Gannon, who coached him last year, that's a red flag for me.

1:12:35Bill Simmons:You have the shitty Packers offensive line against Brian Flores, even though I can't name five guys in their defense anymore. I'm staying away from that. I don't want to bet on Kyler. I don't want to bet on Green Bay with a bad offensive line in Minnesota. I'm just out. I came like not this close, but this close to taking Minnesota because it kind of fits my narrative coming into the season, which is I think Minnesota is going to be a slight tick better than their forecasted win total. And I'm very pessimistic about Green Bay this season. The only other one I was looking at from a parlay standpoint was something trying to keep something in the same game with the Chargers and the Cardinals and doing some alt stuff, like getting the Chargers down to minus two and a half, trying to get the over-under as far down as possible with the over so that it could get to like plus 100.

1:13:27Bill Simmons:But because I just feel that game has cheap touchdown potential to me. I think the Chargers are going to be pulling it out. Dirk Digger style. Yeah, I agree. They're going to be slapping it on the table and flapping it around and doing everything. And it just feels like they're up 15 in the fourth quarter and percent. Oh, Michael Wilson, the Cardinals aren't that. Oh, they're going for two. And now it's like, oh, my God, could the Chargers? It just has all the makings. Chargers under Harbaugh early season. they come out and they look ready. They look ready to run the last couple of seasons. Like they, they're like, there have been an early season.

1:14:03They've impressed us even with the offensive line situation of last year. I, I, I like the chargers, but I, I see what you're doing. I don't mind it.

1:14:13Bill Simmons:They're saying Harbaugh is like a young Bob Chesney. Wait, but you know, the other way around Chesney is much younger than Harbaugh. I know I was kidding. I'm a dummy. That's the other, one for parlays. UCLA is minus 12.5 and minus 480 this weekend at home against San Diego State. Coach of San Diego State made a mistake. Took a couple light shots at UCLA about polos and tried to make it seem like they were the rich kids. San Diego State were the gritty. It felt sour grapesy. He was also up for the UCLA job and didn't get it. Oh, interesting. I do not think there's any chance UCLA will lose this game.

1:15:02Bill Simmons:Wow. And I would put them in a parlay. Yeah, I think this is... On the money line. Yeah, on the money line. Okay. Hold on. I'm going to put them in. Put them in. Add their minus 480 in New... What time do they play on Saturday? Do you know yet? They're playing at... It's a night game. It's 715. Okay. So let me get there. I was debating about going since I'm an unofficial UCLA booster, but I didn't want to go to the Rose Bowl and spend my entire day going back and forth to Pasadena. I mean, that's understandable. Today's Ringer 107 picks were brought to you by FanDuel. Download the app now to find all of our 107 picks and make this your most rewarding season.

1:15:40Bill Simmons:We're trying for you. FanDuel, play your game. Odds subject to change. This episode is brought to you by Core Power Protein Shakes. You know how we always talk about the little things that separate great athletes? post-workout recovery is a big factor. Core Power Protein Shakes help you keep going after your workout with high-quality protein to build muscle and electrolytes to help hydrate. It's all you need for your recovery. One bottle available in 26 and 42 gram protein options to pick what works best for you. Visit corepower.com to learn more. All right, quick break. This episode is brought to you by Fire TV.

1:16:13Bill Simmons:You ever sit down ready to watch the game only to search and scroll endlessly? If so, you need Fire TV. It shows your live games from your favorite teams all in one place right on the home screen. No more searching. Just sit down and turn on Fire TV. Separate subscriptions may be required. Feature and content availability may vary. I didn't get a chance to talk about the U.S. Open and how stupid it was that the best match of the entire tournament started at 11 o 'clock and then people defend it. What? Who's defending it? People were like, well, you got to understand people in the night. No, you don't.

1:16:48Bill Simmons:Don't got to understand anything. there's two matches people pay it's gotta be an ash nope don't have to understand any of it can you imagine if they started the Eastern Conference NBA Finals game 7 at like 11 at night and it just ended at 2 in the morning how fucking stupid that would be it was like hey when Spurs Thunder game 7 oh the other games ran late it's not gonna start till 11.30 tonight what are you guys doing Alcarez against Shelton This is like the best possible matchup you can have in the whole tournament. You're trying to establish Shelton as American superstar. You get Trinity Rodman in the stands.

1:17:29Bill Simmons:You have this awesome, incredible five-set matchup, which, by the way, took four and a half hours as usual. And the games, the match is ending at 3.30 in the morning. Right. 3.30 in the morning. It was great for me. I had nothing to do at 12.30 at night. On the West Coast. I came home from my fantasy draft and watched the fourth and fifth sets. I loved it. But guess who didn't see it? Everyone I know in the East Coast, including you. Most of fucking America. Like, it is stunning. It's beyond stunning. How can you be so disrespectful to your own product? Like, this is a moment in American tennis that we haven't had in a couple generations.

1:18:11Bill Simmons:We haven't won since 03. Roddick won in 2003. That was the last American U.S. Open winner for men. And the three greats have cleared the space. Nadal, Federer, and Joglis are all out. And so it's wide open for Americans to take the stage. And Big Foe is doing his part, and Shelton is doing his part, and Fritz is doing his part. Like, you know, this is an amazing moment in American men's tennis. and they have come up with an arrangement where they have marquee matches going off after fucking 11 o 'clock at night on the East Coast. The marquee match. This is the best match you could have. Shelton against Alcarez.

1:18:54Bill Simmons:Do you want people to watch? Do you care about... It's the dumbest fucking shit. How does ESPN tolerate this? ESPN pays a fuckload of money to have this tournament on its station and then ultimately on ABC, how can you go along with the number one player in the world playing one of the very best American prospects going off after 11 o 'clock at night because they had to accommodate two very talented American women, Navarro and Pagula, playing in primetime? We can't have that match happen simultaneous with Shelton and Akarez playing in primetime. they can't be on ESPN and ESPN2? That's impossible?

1:19:38Is that what you're telling me?

1:19:39Bill Simmons:How about do a poll? What do people would rather watch in primetime? Varro and Pagula or Shelton against It's batshit crazy. It's otherworld crazy. They tell me as a sports fan who tunes in because it's our national championship what they're telling me is to fuck off. We don't care what you think. We don't give a shit about you. Who cares whether you watch or not? The matches are too long anyway. And I said this last week, I planted my flag on it. And, and I knew, you know, I, the tennis people, they get mad when the outsiders come in, but the reality is nothing before like the quarterfinals should go for four and a half hours.

1:20:21Bill Simmons:And I think it's arguable that the quarterfinals should go for four, like in basketball, when we had the best of fives, the best of fives are great. Sometimes you'd have an upset, but it would shorten the series. Then there was too much money at stake and they didn't want to do that anymore. And the tennis, these guys are, these rallies are just longer. The sport's harder to play than it was 20 years ago. The equipment's better. The conditioning's better. Everything's better. And the game and the matches are just longer. They're all like heading toward an average of three hours now. And they have to figure out some sort of fix and they just won't.

1:20:52Well, I don't mind long dramatic matches. It does heighten, like the Mickelson big foe match that ended up going five sets.

1:21:02Bill Simmons:But that was the reason that the Alcaraz match didn't start till 11 o 'clock. Well, no. That was what Dabundo said. He was like, well, you had four matches on Ash and they played the maximum 16 sets. And it's like, well, this is dumb. If you didn't have that variable that, oh, if there's 16 sets, everyone's going to be here till 3.30 in the fucking morning. No. Without waiting at home, by the way. The Pagula Navarro was the reason. That's why those guys came on at 11. Also, like if you have Alcaraz Shelton, that match has to start on Ash. I would say like 930 at the latest. Because it needs to be on television for everybody like you on the East Coast to watch it.

1:21:43Bill Simmons:To suck me in. So I can get invested. Sports 101. Like, are you trying to build your sport or not? Dumb asses. It was a Tuesday fucking night. There was nothing else on. I would have watched it. I would have been all the way in. And by the way, you know what the schedule said that match was supposed to start? 930 at night. It didn't because the other matches went long and then you had to end the Pagula Navarro. If the matches go long, have the ability to take that other match with Pagula and move it to the stadium that, what, has 14 ,000 people? Push it over. That's fine. That would have been fine.

1:22:15We could have lived with that. I mean, whatever. It's up to tennis can do whatever they want. I do really love Big Foe. Big Foe.

1:22:27Bill Simmons:Because it's like rooting for one of those teams that you know they're going to, the tire's just going to blow at some point. You don't know what it is. Heartbreak could be right around the corner at any moment. It's just, and it's almost like he needs to go down so that he can have the comeback and yell to the crowd and do fist pumps. Like he just can't have it easy. He can't cruise. Oh, you know, he's my guy. He's from PG County. He's from DMV. I mean, we go thick. We're very thick with big foe love here. Yeah. So, and then Shelton, I can't believe how good shape these guys are in is the other thing.

1:23:03Bill Simmons:Shelton's doing like the hardest possible serve to do. Like he's jumping up in the air and fucking hitting 140 mile an hour serves for four and a half hours. Like these guys, I don't think anyone's maybe soccer player. Who's in better condition than some of these tennis players? Well, that's also part of what really adds to the drama of it. They're incredible athletes in these marathon contests. If they were playing at the appropriate time of day, then we could enjoy it. I think I wouldn't mind if it was like three sets, two or three sets, and then maybe the third, fourth, and fifth sets just have less games or something.

1:23:44Bill Simmons:It's like you have to get to four. I like best of three up to quarterfinals. And when you're in quarterfinals to the finals, play all five. Best of three to the quarterfinals is great. Yeah. That sounds awesome. Let's get through it. I also like, I think there could be a mercy rule where if you're up more than, if you're up three games in a set, you won the set. One of the five sets, but if it's like you're up 4-1, you've won. Now let's look to the next set. All these innovations you're talking about in terms of shortening up, That makes sense for lesser tournaments. When we're playing in the majors, then let's have a rule where we can have five set competitions for the majors.

1:24:23Bill Simmons:Or best two or three until we get to the quarters. Yeah, because there are these 500 series tournaments that only play best two out of three sets anyways. But tightening that up so that we get our best players not coming in injured, right? Like, you know, there has been a lot of scuttle. But in that tennis world about the guys, the schedule's too compressed. the guys and gals are not coming in healthy. It's similar to basketball. Yeah. I just think the sport's harder to play than it used to be. And what's happening is not sustainable to me. Right, right. Unless you use PEDs and sheet in various ways.

1:25:00I'm okay with that.

1:25:02Bill Simmons:By the way, did you see that picture as a Sabatini? No. Did I send those to you? She looks great. One of the heroes of the 80s for us. I'm relieved. Yeah, no, she looked awesome. I'm glad to hear that. Okay, good. Very important. person for us in the 80s. Very important person for us, yes. I don't even think we knew each other. My buddy Bish from high school, we just completely in love with Sabatini. Well, you were a big tennis guy back then, too. Still a big tennis guy. I was. All right, anything else before we go? Just this four-leg parlay that I want to make sure America hears. We're going to take the Eagles, the Steelers, we already put those two together.

1:25:39If you add the Chargers, and your UCLA Bruins plus 192 on the FanDuel Sportsbook. Almost two to one.

1:25:46Bill Simmons:Will they put that on the... I'm going to ask Jack to put that on the FanDuel for us. Plus 192. Plus 192. That's a juicy price. Four leg Moneyline Parlay. We must be playing some fucking football. It must be football season. Four leg Moneyline Parlay. Must be football season. What happens if we take Philly out of that? Just out of curiosity. We can do that for sure. Yes, we can. Because I still don't know if I trust Philly. Okay, fine. How many times with Philly? Like, oh, Jalen Hurts, slow to get going. And it's like, I have a parlay on him. Plus 108. Plus 108 if you take Philly out. Still plus money.

1:26:25That's Steelers, Chargers, UCLA. Yep.

1:26:29Bill Simmons:Oh, man. Plus 108? Steelers, Chargers, Bruins. Plus 108. House, you're an American treasure. It's great to see you. I will see you next week for week two of Ringer 107. Don't forget, we have our bets coming. Our fifth bets will be online. We'll tweet them out on Sunday morning. And here's to a whole year of winning. Thank you, House. Thanks to Eduardo and Jack and Chris and Gahal as well, our guys. We're going to be back on Sunday. And it's going to be live on Netflix with the dastardly cousin, Sal, who I'm really starting not to like coming off this Cowboys-Giants game. He'll be coming off of Cowboys-Giants.

1:27:13Bill Simmons:Right. So I might put as much money on the Cowboys as I can put on a game and feel good about it. Well, how's Hank feel about that? On the Cowboys? Yeah, I'll talk to Hank. Yeah, talk to Hank. Hank's doing great. Hank says hello, by the way. Thanks, everybody. Have a great weekend, and we will see you on Sunday night here.

1:27:52Bill Simmons:Must be 21 plus in president select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas star casino or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky, or Wyoming. Game problem, call 1-800-GAMBLE or 1-800-MY-RESET. Call 888-79-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat in Connecticut or mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24-7 support in Massachusetts or call 877-8-HOPE-NY or text HOPE-NY in New York for Louisiana. and call 877-770-7867. This episode is brought to you by 7Up. Okay, this one's a case for conspiracy bill. Let's bring them in. Ever notice lemon is everywhere from lemon recipes to lemon scented cleaning supplies?

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