The "My Guy" Fantasy Football Draft (4th Annual!) With Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck

15:28And he did what he did last year with those three quarterbacks. I'm kind of like, man, I don't know. Maybe this guy should just be like the sixth pick in drafts.

15:34Bill Simmons:Well, it doesn't come down to math if he's 70 points higher than the next tight end or something crazy like that. I always think that way. I've gotten to the point with fantasy where I'm just like, can I just have one of the best QBs? because they all get 50 to 70 points more than every other cuba. 100%. With Bowers, if he's like a wide receiver eight at tight end, I think that makes him first-round value in a Booger team. Yeah.

16:02Danny Heifetz:The easiest way to win your league with your friends if they're not paying a ton of attention is to just lock an elite quarterback, lock an elite tight end like Brock Bowers, get a running backs early, and just win on receivers and running backs later in the draft. That's generally the easiest way to do it.

16:14Bill Simmons:I'm in on that, and I think the Geno thing is the underrated piece of it. And I underrated with, I'm, I kick drove a couple of standing mock things with the Raiders as a seven seed just to see how it felt. Just to, you know, in the store, putting on the jacket, kind of walking around, looking in the mirror, see if it feels safe.

16:33Danny Heifetz:The floor associates, like, you look great in that. Did you see Pete Carroll in his starter jacket? He looks great. All the players, like, Gentee, Geno, Pete Carroll, everyone just looks great as a Raider. Yeah. Well, you think, like. It's cool when the Raiders are good. Yes. And the Raiders have not been good while we've been alive.

16:48Bill Simmons:As Craig knows, I invented the three and three out for the playoffs. Right. I'm saying that. I don't know if I invented it or not. But I wrote about it in 2010. I was like, Craig, I invented this. I'm just going to take credit for it. You're like, sure. I was like, well, if we're going by that classic thing where, you know, four teams stay in, three teams go out. And then he was like, I invented that. I have no idea if I did, but I'm taking credit for it. Anything else?

17:07Danny Heifetz:Piano key, necktie, anything else?

17:09Bill Simmons:The three and three out, the easiest thing to identify is like, did a team have a shitty quarterback and a shitty coach? Yeah. And do they now have a competent quarterback and a competent coach? They like fit the model for it. Yeah. And then you think like Bowers and Evgenzi is good. They're going to be a bitch to play. I mean, the Raiders didn't score any touchdowns last year. That was the only thing holding Bowers back. He had five touchdowns. It's like, all right, if he has Geno Smith now, he's probably going to have eight to 10. I love it. What do you have for my one true love? I'm going with Drake London on the Falcons.

17:38You've always liked them. I like Drake London. I'm big on Atlanta this year. I think Penix is good. I think the offense is going to be one of those. I think like the Bucs last year, this is going to be an offense that you kind of want everybody on the team. I think Drake Leonard's not that famous. He's a really cool name, but he's not that famous. I think he's like the cheapest guy you can get that could be the number one overall receiver in fantasy. Also, you just look on like FanDuel, he's 22-1 to lead the league in receiving touchdowns. I think he has as good a chance as anybody. When he played with Penix last year, 40 % target share, first in the NFL.

18:10117 yards per game, first in the NFL. He got 60 % of the team's end zone targets last year. First in the NFL. 60. I think it's a perfect storm of like, you have the gunslinger, even if Pennix, worst case scenario to me, Pennix is like Jameis. But for fantasy, that's all right. So if you have the gunslinging Pennix, you have a year or two in a system of Zach Robinson and Raheem Morris. I thought they did a good job year one. Zach Robinson comes from the McVay world. He's like moving Drake London around. He's moving him in the slot. They're like scheming him open. And there's not like a true other alpha competition.

18:43It's like, Darnell Mooney's good. You have Kyle Pitts. You have B. John Robinson. But I just think it's all going to funnel to Drake London. He's going to have like a Mike Evans 15 touchdown season, I think.

18:51Bill Simmons:I guess where I pause is you thinking Michael Penix is definitely good. But he doesn't have to be good. I just don't know. He just has to be a gunslinger, which I think we know he is. Also, is he going to be healthy? How many times did he get hurt in college? That was the big reason why he fell in the draft.

19:07Danny Heifetz:Penix being the new quarterback. Yeah.

19:09Bill Simmons:Everyone's just penciling him in for 4 ,200 yards and 30 TDs. And it's like, how about, is he going to play 12 games?

19:15Danny Heifetz:What are you worried about? He only had four season-ending injuries in college. I just, I don't know. That's fair. Am I crazy, though, that, all right, their backup is Kirk Cousins, who maybe as a starter, washed. That's a good point. Not a bad backup. Kirk was injured last year, but it would not be weird to think Kirk is better this year than last year because he's a year further removed from the Achilles. I think to your point, though, I think to kind of square what you guys are saying is I don't think you're necessarily wrong. I just don't know. I'm wide open on Penix. I don't know where it goes.

19:41Danny Heifetz:He may not be good enough to get Atlanta to the playoffs, but I think that one thing we know about Penix is he's going to throw deep down the field. Like, Penix, frankly, in a league where everything we keep bitching about, everything's, like, neutered, all the passing, it's like the bumpers up on the bowling lane. Like, no one pushes downfield anymore. Like, Mahomes. Penix is ripping it. Penix is ripping past. Ripping, yeah. Only people last year that were throwing the ball more than 10 yards downfield on average was Richardson, who got benched, and Penix. And, like, that's what we liked about Jameis.

20:07Danny Heifetz:like he's throwing so deep and like that was him in college he was just putting it up there for Roma Duns and Jalen Polk who sucks my guy Drake May is going to be like that too Michael Penix got Jalen Polk drafted by you guys in the second round Jalen Polk is he going to make a team like that no he's on IR now

20:22Bill Simmons:yeah he's out for the season he just got he's out with a shoulder separation thing my buddy Hench texted this is the first separation he's had since he's been a Patriot that's good tough one tough one for Polk so yeah also Atlanta fourth easiest schedule That's huge. A lot of shootouts. I was going through all my podcast notes last year to remember what happened last season because you just get amnesia when you're going through the season and you forget 90 things. Atlanta was terrible last year. Remember they should have been like 3-12 at one point? Well, Kirk. They won all these dumb games. They won that dumb, what was that, week two game against Philly?

20:58Bill Simmons:Saquon dropped the ball. Yeah, but they had like five of those. We were like, how are they? At one point, they were minus 400 to win the division, and they were awful. Kirk was a mess. Kirk was like that last time with Ben Roethlisberger where he was like just Adele, Parkinbark, couldn't move.

21:11Danny Heifetz:It's weird because Kirk has always been this way. When you think of him as an average quarterback, he's actually incredibly streaky. Extremely hot and cold. And he was very hot in the beginning. He was executing the offense really well. And then he was the worst quarterback. He was so bad. Couldn't throw.

21:23Bill Simmons:I have a lot of true loves this year. So I wanted to target one that I couldn't figure out in another category. I'm not just doing this because DK is here. Jackson, Smith, the Jigba. who I had last year on one of my teams. And I thought for about seven weeks, he was one of the five best receivers I was watching every week. He was open all the time. There was no difference between him and Amon Ross St. Brown. He was fucking awesome. Every third down, it was third nine, third and 10. Danny knows. And then at the end of the year, their offense died. And I'm not sure what happened to the offense. Remember they had that one, like they had the six to three game.

22:03Bill Simmons:The offensive line kind of died. The running back situation got weird, and the team just kind of cratered right at a point when it seemed they were going to win. There was some Metcalf stuff. I just think this year he's by far the best receiver they have. I like the Seahawks in general, and I just think he's going to have a massive year. I think he can be in the top six or seven for receivers. I just think he's 90 to 100 yards a game, steady, third downs, touchdowns. I'm in. Yeah, he's as reliable as they come in terms of route running, hands, just body control. He adds a little bit run after the catch.

22:38He does remind me. I think I comped him to Amon Rossi and Brown. He's just open all the time.

22:42Bill Simmons:Just kind of cross the middle, the out.

22:45Danny Heifetz:I remember watching the Ohio State Rose Bowl. I think it was versus Utah. I was veering over on January 1st. And I remember, I think Jackson Smith and J. had 350 receiving yards in that game. and I remember thinking that he was like the best college game I'd ever seen by a player. And he's not quite that. But I think because he had a weird rookie year with Shane Waldron and everything, his actual level of talent has been really just straight up forgotten.

23:15Bill Simmons:He basically took the Lockett spot halfway through the year. Lockett was the third receiver on that team. But we had him like in the Ringer Fantasy Football Guide right now. We have him 15th. We have him between T. Higgins and Garrett Wilson. Yeah, at the wide receiver position. And I just think he's going to end up, like, we have Puka 6, we have Neighbors 7, we have Thomas 8. I just think he's going to be in that neighborhood when the season's over. You can kind of go both ways. That is my guy. You can do, like, the, it's his team now. Look what he did with DK Metcalf and Lockett last year. He was still great.

23:43Now you have, like, a better play caller, all this stuff. And then you can be like, well, you're betting on Sam Darnold. This is a team that wants to run the ball. The defense is going to be awesome. Maybe they won't have to score that many points. Now there's only Jackson Smith and Jigba out there for defenses to focus on. You can kind of go both ways, but I do lean your way where I think he's going to be a good pick. The talent. Well, plus, I hesitate to do this to DK.

24:06Bill Simmons:What if Cup is, like, pretty good this year? Wow. I mean, it's going to hurt JSN. I haven't thought about that. But what really happened with him on the Rams was Puka was just, like, a younger, better version of Cup. Right. And just became Cup on the team. And then it was like watching a shooting guard on an NBA team, and there's just a better shooting guard. yeah so i just wonder like how the like i even i wrote him off i was like that guy i wouldn't want to draft them but they're i don't know he's in his early 30s i think is it is it a wrap for him they paid for him like he's gonna they gave him a good amount of money i think it's a huge red flag that mcshay or mcbay was like yeah we don't want you anymore but it is a red well here's what i'm here's what i'll say i think cooper cup is going to be on the team to play a couple roles he's going to be their slot receiver and he goes out and he can still block his ass off and that really matters to them in terms of like the schematic advantages it brings when your receivers can block it's like you can run so many different uh so many more different plays in like 11 or 12 personnel whatever where the receivers are out there blocking too it just gives you an advantage but i also think if jsn he's actually what i've heard is he's running around outside more and kind of like not just stuck in the slot he could have bigger plays in his future and they're going going to do a lot of play action.

25:24That's like a huge part of their offense. Think like Rashid Shahid and Chris Olave with the Saints last year when they were on the field together. It's like deep shots. Sounds great. And obviously Sam Darnold, I mean for all his flaws, he will push the ball down the field. He's an aggressive downfield thrower and he's accurate downfield.

25:41Bill Simmons:Valdez, Scantling too in the locket spot just running like straight lines. He's just clear out routes. Did you buy Horton stock? I'm buying Horton stock. I think he's going to be the number three. I think the Seahawks are going to be good. Let's take a break. We are on a terrible pace. We're going to come back with my crazy pills guy. This episode is brought to you by PayPal. All right, parents, PayPal's on your team, this back to school. I've been there myself. You're paying for sports gear, backpacks, sneakers, laptops. You've likely got multiple carts, your favorite online stores. Well, that's when PayPal comes in with the assist.

26:14Bill Simmons:Paying for no interest, no fees, truly game changing, subject to approval. Learn more at paypal.com slash pay in four PayPal, Inc. and MLS 910457. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. In today's sports, everyone is constantly trying to outdo each other. Trick formations, infield shifts, constant rotation changes, yet it's proven time and time again that strong fundamentals are the thing that will lead you to victory. Banking, no different. While everyone else tries to outdo each other, PNC Bank just keeps going right down the middle with steady calculated money moves and the financial wins just keep coming.

26:53Bill Simmons:PNC Bank, brilliantly boring since 1865, brilliantly boring since 1865 as a registered mark of the PNC Financial Services Group Incorporated. PNC Bank, National Association member, FDIC. All right, Danny, you're crazy pills guy. The guy you're looking at that you don't understand why everybody else doesn't see it the way you see it. I don't understand why T. Higgins is so low everywhere. And I'm probably part of the problem. I don't know if I have him high enough. But I think we're too low on T. Higgins. Last year, he was wide receiver four in points per game. He did miss like five games because of hamstring injuries, I believe.

27:29But again, he averaged 15.5 points per game. He's in the perfect environment in Cincinnati with a pass-first team. They're very pass-first, pass-heavy. Joe Burrow loves to pass the ball down the field. Trusts him incredibly in the red zone. They're just going to go out there. in terms of fantasy, the Bengals' offense is pure sex. It's exactly what you want. They're going to play fast. They're going to push the ball down the field. They're going to score a ton of points. Joe Burrow passes to his receivers inside the 5 - and 10-yard line a lot. They will throw a lot of passing touchdowns because he just trusts them.

28:01It's kind of like the old Aaron Rodgers thing. He's like, trust him to make the calls in certain areas where they're just audible. You got a one-on-one matchup. I'm going to throw it up to you. And T. Higgins, that's like his game. He's just so big and tall. It's like George Pickens, but more reliable.

28:15Bill Simmons:You know why he had him 14th? Because, like, played 12 games the last two years. Yeah, he gets banged up. That's the thing. 656 yards and 23 and 911 yards last year. He's only had 10 touchdowns once. He is, like, a little more theoretical than I think people realize because you catch him on the right day, you're like, oh, my God, this guy's amazing. But he gets hurt every year.

28:34Danny Heifetz:The thing DK keeps dropping on me that always blows my mind is in the games that T. Higgins and Jamar Chase both played, that T. Higgins got more targets than Jamar Chase did. They're, like, the best passing offense since the month.

28:44Bill Simmons:and he's I mean Niners I think he's the perfect combination of floor and ceiling at receiver for where you're getting him because he's going to give you a good floor there's only one season he's had where he averaged less than 10 points per game and that was 9.7 so he's like that floor is solid he's not going to kill you and he also has the higher end upside where if you know things go similar with the Bengals offense this year as they did last year he might be a top 5 receiver in the NFL I like it who do you got Craig? Tyreek Hill

29:15whoa oh my lord i'm willing to embrace the crazy this year with tyreek wow i don't get it i don't get it last year tyreek hill had 1800 yards two years ago sorry yeah now you're gaslighting the last yeah not this year we just watched 2023 at 1800 yards he was the number one wide receiver in fantasy he was 29 years old it's he had one bad year where he hurt his wrist in august to a missed half the season it was a down year he tried to quit at the end of the season he played 17 games and and now he started now so he was going literally second in drafts last year second overall out of every player's going number two now he's going 28 and i'm like whatever the dolphins are a mess i'm willing to like buy all that the vibes are bad tyreek's talking shit about mike mcdaniel i'm getting this guy i'm getting tyree killed the end of the third round if you just if you just believe that he's not washed guy's best pick in drafts

30:09Bill Simmons:I've just been down this road too many times in fantasy football four decades of experience now usually when it goes south it doesn't come back with the receivers that's fair however if you really did like a Sloan conference research paper on this

30:23Danny Heifetz:this guy Adam Harstad did a study on this and like it's totally when it craters it's never like back the other way but it cratered half because he had a ligament injury in his wrist in August and Tua his quarterback missed half the year

30:35Bill Simmons:Well, the good thing is he's a reliable health bet this year. Again, all that's fair.

30:40Danny Heifetz:It's a parlay to be like Tyreek and Tua both of them.

30:41Bill Simmons:Listen, this is why he's your crazy pills guy. Yeah, I'm just like, this guy's going 28th overall. I get Tyreek Hill. I think this was going to happen. We always talk about like the week one test. Yeah. Where it's like, it's Sunday at 11, 25 a.m. And Tyreek Hill has two catches for 95 yards and a touchdown already. And you're like, ah, fuck.

30:57Danny Heifetz:Yeah. He's back. Because like to your point, dude, Bill Barnwell had one of the craziest stats I've ever read about Tyreek Hill's 2023 season, which was that the Dolphins actually had almost the fewest passes in the NFL in the second half that year. Because they were leading games, right? Yeah, because they were winning. So they didn't throw that much in the second half. But the point was, if Tyree Kill had his 4.0 yards per route run, if he had had as many routes as Calvin Johnson did the year he set the single receiving mark, which was 1 ,900 yards, Tyree Kill would have had 3 ,000 yards at the rate he was going.

31:27I'm kind of just like, we had one down year and the team was a mess. I don't know if he's just physically washed. I'm getting him at the end of the third round.

31:36Bill Simmons:I'm not paying for him but if he's sitting there staring at me in round 7 I don't disagree with

31:41Danny Heifetz:it's hard to refute what you're saying where you're like he could be a good pick I don't know how I can argue against that

31:46Bill Simmons:mine's a little happier my crazy pill guy is on the Tampa Bay Buccaneers he's a rookie receiver named Emeka Ibuka this just happens every year and I'm tired of I had Brian Thomas Jr. and Michael Thomas thank God I didn't have him I had Brian Thomas last year, and it was great. And he just got better as the year long and was just clearly one of the 10 best guys by the end of the thing. This guy checks all the boxes for me. Like, he fell too far in the draft. He's going to a team that he's perfect for. They've already had receiver injuries. Godwin's not coming back until October. McMillan's out for at least half the season.

32:24Bill Simmons:I bet when I was in Boston, I bet, and I never bet on player over-unders because I just feel like it's stupid. You always want to go over injuries. his over under for receiving yards was 675 and i was like i'm betting this like i can't believe this should be like in the 900s i look today it's it's now 825 it's 150 yards and i think it should

32:44Danny Heifetz:go higher yeah um you win another week you probably get at nine here's the thing i love

32:49Bill Simmons:reading the quotes going back to danny's guy russell wilson in 2012 when the teammates and coaches when it gets to a level of rave yeah you just know and it was the case with thomas last last year in Jacksonville, that whole training camp preseason, they were like, this guy's got it. This guy's fucking special. And that's what they're saying about Ibuka. And I just feel like you have him 44th in our fantasy draft guide. He's going to be in the top 12 by the end of the year, my prediction. Maybe I'm taking crazy pills. Bill, regarding your bet that you made, you know who had around the same yards?

33:24What was it? What was it? It was 675. Ray Ray McLeod had 686 yards last year. Right. Wondell Robinson had 700 yards.

33:34Bill Simmons:675 is like 50 yards a game. You got it. Quentin Johnson had more than 700 yards.

33:39Danny Heifetz:Who do you have for your crazy pill guy? Oh, Jalen Hurts, the Eagles quarterback. Jalen Hurts, he's ranked further back than Lamar Jackson. Whatever platform you want to look at, it's generally like Josh Allen, Lamar, like 24th, 25th. Jalen Hurts is like 37th on Yahoo, 38th on Sleeper. That's next to Marvin Harrison Jr. Yeah. And Jalen Hurts is ranked like they banned the tush push. and they didn't. And I actually don't understand because people are caught up and like, oh, well, this is ceiling as high as Josh Allen. I don't care. There is a play that the NFL, the other 31 teams want to ban because it's too easy for Jalen Hurts to score a touchdown.

34:16Danny Heifetz:It is literally, like literally without exaggeration, I think Jalen Hurts is probably in the 21st century at quarterback, the most reliable week-to-week player there's ever been. He doesn't have down weeks. He doesn't have down weeks. Even Josh Allen has a few stinkers. He's been number one on this season. Hurts misses some games. When he plays, Jalen Hurts is the best player in fantasy and the most predictable player. The whole problem in fantasy football is hard to predict. He is the single easiest player to predict in the entire league at any position. And you're going to get it. So if, and this is honestly, he's kind of my one true love too, in a way, maybe give his flame.

34:48Danny Heifetz:Hurts, if you get Jalen Hurts in the fourth round, I think that is the single best pick you can make in fantasy football this year. Because you're going to get a guy who is going to have more 30 point weeks than single digits. You just absolutely.

35:00Bill Simmons:I think there'll be those games where he's just nine for 17 for 112 yards and rushes for 50 yards in a TD. And you just look at it and you're like, but then he has 27 points somehow. And you're like, it didn't even look like he had a good game. That's the story.

35:13Danny Heifetz:Jalen Hurts has played 50 games that matter in the last five years. He has 50 rushing touchdowns. Yeah. He has. I'm with you. He's a great guy to have. Yeah. What I love about him. And we talked, I think a couple of years ago, we were talking about how he's the greatest fourth quarter fantasy quarterback. of all time because if the Eagles are trailing and they're trying to come back in the fourth quarter, he's running around a ton. He's passing it. So he is game script proof too because he's either going to be scoring rushing touchdowns early in the game and they're going to be icing the game later or they're going to have to last six minutes of the fourth quarter, he's going to score 15 fantasy points because he's running all around and doing everything.

35:50So it's just, yeah, he's so consistent week in and week out. It's great.

35:54Bill Simmons:I would still rather have a few other guys but it's the fifth best guy and you're not paying that much for him. You're up with a new category. I absolutely hate myself for doing this guy. George Pickens, but I'm in. I'm going to do it. George Pickens? Yeah, yeah. I'm buying Dallas. I think Dallas is the off-brand Bengals this year. I need some oxygen. I think Dak and CD and Pickens are like Burrow and Chase. Bob, the guy from the stands, who's their starting receiver, running back? Whatever. Chase Brown? Chase Brown. Who's for the Cowboys? Oh, no, you're talking about Javante Williams.

36:37Danny Heifetz:He looked great last year. Who cares? That means he'll throw it more. Or Miles Sanders. I do think he's dead on that they're the off-brand Bengals because they're the same team. They have horrible defenses. Their offense is built around a quarterback who's doing a Peyton Manning. Discount Bengals? Yeah, they're doing Peyton Manning cosplay with these two top receivers. Yeah, it's like, I think Dak could lead the league in passing. Schottenheimer, let him cook. Yeah, everyone talks about the Bengals last year. Oh, how many points he scored, how electric they were. The 2023 Cowboys scored more points than the 2024 Bengals.

37:04Bill Simmons:I like it. I would never take him. I think it's more likely he's off the team in week eight and something horrible happens. It's certainly a risk. It sounds like you don't like it. Ever since that game when it was the last play of the game against Cleveland and he got in the fight during the Hail Mary. That's because he only cares about fantasy football. I actually completely out on picking. I came away more impressed with picking. That was cool. My guy, I wanted to shout out Keon Coleman because I think he's going to rope me in, but I don't want to pick him. That's a good one. He's just getting too much buzz and it feels like, ah, 33 bucks.

37:38Bill Simmons:And then you're like, what did I do? But it's definitely Travis Hunter for me. I was like, I'm staying away. I'm not even buying. I don't even, I'm not even shopping in your grocery store. I'm not even getting a car and pushing around. I don't want to know. I don't want to think about it. And then I read this one thing about how Liam Cohen is like, it's just going to be two bubble screens a game trying to bust him for 50 yards of pop. And I was like, oh. Caught the Holy Ghost? Yeah, just, oh. What do you mean? You just bust one at any time? Whoa, whoa. About to infrage him. Sorry. I was really worried about the defense offense thing.

38:16Bill Simmons:Just somebody trying to play a thousand snaps or whatever on both sides seems inconceivable with how fucking big football players are in the NFL. Right. And he's not big. But I feel like he's going to be sitting there and I'm going to get excited about it and I'm going to hate myself for doing it. We just had a massive argument about this on our podcast.

38:31Danny Heifetz:Bill, I need some therapy life advice thing. I think I was the single biggest Travis Hunter fan in sports media. My crazy pills thing on the draft was basically, I was just like, why do we talk about the ceiling of every prospect? No one ever admits that all these guys are probably going to have an average outcome between whatever. And the only person we won't talk about ceiling is Travis Hunter, who won the award for best receiver in college football, best defensive player in college football. And I'm like, what if he just does both? at a great level in the NFL, everyone's acting like it won't happen or can't happen.

38:58Danny Heifetz:It's impossible. Yeah, you're like, he could be Shohei Otani. I've been talking about this all year. I was like, yeah, he's like Otani.

39:03Bill Simmons:What if he's just four catches for 80 yards a week and he scores every other week and he's just doing that on the side as he's covering the other team's best receiver?

39:10Danny Heifetz:Jim Thorpe. And I'm like, he could win offensive rookie, defensive rookie of the year. He could do amazing. And I'm not going to lie. I capitulated 20 minutes before he walked in the studio. I admitted to them. I was like, on our show. Nonstop, Travis Hunter is going to blow everyone's mind. He's the best player since whoever. You give up? Today, he was like, ah, I don't know. You chickened out. I sold low. And I just, I saw him play in the preseason game. I called him a pansy for it. It's a weak move. You should have doubled down. Stick with your gun. I should have. Yeah. But I'm worried that like, I need the strength to stay away.

39:41Danny Heifetz:I'm worried that like the meetings is going to fall behind and stuff and they're just going to play him. But like, it's going to be really frustrating. It's going to be cool on the field, but like for your lineup, it's going to be kind of like annoying. I'm nervous. It could be cooler in real life than in fantasy. It's like, okay, he plays double the snaps. You don't get double the fantasy. The Jags play the Bengals in week four or five, and you're like, so do I bench him because he's going to have to cover Tee Higgins? And you're like, I've never asked that question before. So it will be a new experience, I guess.

40:03Bill Simmons:Well, it's like you never want to have the first of anything. Right. You never want to, like, you don't have the first iPhone. It's like, oh, it's not going to work. 19 things are going wrong. Too many bugs. The first iPad, the first, like, car that has gas and electricity, and it's like a hybrid, and it's like, oh, it's in the shop. so maybe maybe wait a year for hunter i think that's i still yeah if he's sitting there i still feel like oh i get it yeah who do you have heifetz he i oh i hate myself for doing this guy yeah

40:29Danny Heifetz:this is the easiest category it's kyle pitts falcons he's back he's almost honorary yeah he's like fathered in best situation kyle pitts has ever been in cheapest he's ever been it's that simple like he i will never do it when he had zero dollars we were not doing he was a top He was a fourth-round player. Marcus Mariota was his quarterback. We ranked him in the fourth round. Michael Penix, the last quarterback throwing 10 yards a throw, is his quarterback. He's a 14th-round pick on ESPN. I mean, he's going near Hunter Henry. And I'm like, Kyle Pitts, everything we've ever said about his upside remains true.

41:03Danny Heifetz:I'm just saying, yeah, he's not met expectations. The problem is he's not that good.

41:09Bill Simmons:When you watch the Falcons, he's not like a tight end like Bowers or Kittle. He can't really block. So he's basically a wide receiver, and he's not as good as the other wide receivers on the Falcons.

41:19Danny Heifetz:I don't know what he is. Ray McLeod. He's a vertical receiver, and I'm not even saying he's necessarily going to be ever what we thought he'd be. I'm just saying Michael Panix made Jalen Polk an early second-round pick, and Jalen Polk will probably never. I'm just saying, Panix made Polk. He made all these guys. DK, who do you have? I have, and I do hate myself for doing this, Kyler Murray for the Cardinals. Fantasy point of view, remember. that rushing is an absolute cheat code.

41:48Bill Simmons:So it's a two-year-old move from the ACL. Did you fall for that one? Yeah. Look, he's another guy that... The way that I talk myself into it is he's a high-floor, high-ceiling guy. And those are the types of players I want to go after in fantasy because he's not going to fail you. The worst average he's had in points per game last year was 17 and a half. That was last year.

42:10Danny Heifetz:He's just going to fail the real-life team, but the fantasy team. I don't care. I don't care. This is the Justin Fields.

42:14Bill Simmons:He's a high ceiling, low floor, unless you're trying to win NFL games with them. I'm fine with that. And then he's a low ceiling, low floor. It's actually probably better if they're losing, because then in the fourth quarter, they're running around. I actually want him to be better.

42:25Danny Heifetz:He's, to me, he has shades of Ben Simmons to me, Kyler Murray. Okay, can I talk about fantasy, though, maybe? Because that's what we're talking about here. It's important. He's the quarterback eight in the last four years, almost 19 points per game. Going back to 2020, when he ran a bunch, he averaged almost 10 points per game as a runner only. The last four years, it's been like five. And there's been a lot of talk in this training camp that he's, it's kind of, I feel like it's a lot of these, you know, dual threat quarterbacks kind of trying, because they know long-term I need to stick in the pocket and just like pass and do that.

42:56I think Kyler's kind of at a turning point now where he's like, actually my running really makes me a lot better and I probably should embrace it more. And there's been talk that they're working him into the design run game a little bit more in preseason. So I'm just, if he doesn't do it, that's great. He's going to be like a top 12 quarterback. probably. If he does run a bunch this year, he'll be top five. Listen, he makes sense in this category, is all. We

43:24Bill Simmons:have the I'm staying away from that whole team team category. And I guess the nominees are Cleveland, New Orleans, Miami, and Carolina. So I vote Cleveland.

43:37Danny Heifetz:Cleveland. I have Pittsburgh. Fuck off. What are you talking about? You don't want anybody on the Steelers. You wouldn't even accept D.K. Metcalf on your team?

43:50Bill Simmons:I mean, I love D.K., but no. Okay. So I had Cleveland's the obvious pick. Yeah. I do think there's a Judy. Like, he was huge last year for them, right? Jameis was playing. He's Jameis. I know. Jameis is like fire. Jameis has huge stats.

44:04Danny Heifetz:Yeah. Jameis literally, Jerry Judy had yards per run, yards per game, whatever metric you want to use. every game of Jameis was more than double his career average. And then when Jameis didn't play, it went right back.

44:17Bill Simmons:I had New Orleans written down. For sure. Wouldn't feel great about really anything involved in that team. And I had Miami written down just because that feels like that you'll actually spend money on some of the guys on that team. It'll feel worse. I'm surprised you had Carolina. Carolina is like my sneaky, truly out of nowhere team for this year. Carolina just had a habit. Yeah Muscle memory Because Chuma Hubbard Was actually good last year I like Coker Who knows I'm kind of sneaky high On Carolina this year The only other one The only other one I thought of Was Pittsburgh Which I was glad You brought up Because I don't like Having D.K.

44:51Bill Simmons:Metcalf On my team Because he's Feast or famine You never know What's going to happen With him I won't want any receiver There's no way I'm running back No way I'm taking Rodgers I do like Friermuth though I would have You like Friermuth With like three I traded for Johnny I do like Friermuth a little bit. All right. Next category. Hi, Fitz, you're up. Oh, no. This is a group category. It's the Kumail Nanjiani. Why the fuck did you bulk up like this is actually ridiculous? What are you doing, guy? And we all have Marvin Harrison.

45:22Danny Heifetz:So do your rant about Harrison. So Marvin Harrison Jr. obviously had a disappointing rookie year. To say the least. I still maintain that if his name had not been Marvin Harrison Jr., if it had been like Dave Harrison, son of Marvin, Malik Dampers would have gone over him, but it was hard for anyone to say Marvin Harrison Jr. So he's drafted and has this point of year and he comes in this year and he's absolutely ripped. He's got the huge biceps. Like he's added what? 10 pounds of muscle, which when you're an NFL elite athlete, that's a lot of weight to add. And I'm like, you're a wide receiver.

45:53Danny Heifetz:Why are you? Why are you having big biceps? Why are you getting your arms? Nobody was ever like, you know what Marvin Harrison Jr. Needs 10 more pounds of muscle. That's what he was missing. It's like, why is that getting fast? I don't like like armchair psychologist. I don't like that he came into year two and was like, I'm going to look better in the mirror. I don't know if the muscles he's added are necessarily the most functional.

46:13Bill Simmons:Yeah, it's like I need to get off the line better. I remember David Boston way back on Arizona. He just got really jacked, but he had a couple years where he was one of the eight or nine best fantasy receivers. And then he just got too big. Yeah. And it was like his career was over. It's like a desperation move. It's like getting out of a breakup and you just get ripped. Maybe that was like he was disappointed with his rookie year. is that for a movie what is that for why does he look like he's my age have you seen Sasha Baron Cohen no is he like ripped now oh my god Sasha Baron Cohen shaved body yeah that would have been a good fantasy punishment you have to wear the Borat bathing suit oh my god I have a question I thought about this it's like the Mac from It's Always Sunny he's getting ripped can you think of a single time any skill position where a guy got bigger over the offseason and that was a good thing.

47:06I'm sure it happened, but I really honestly can't think of one.

47:10Danny Heifetz:It's way more in the other direction of older guys losing weight and then they... Yeah. It's like getting faster. Trying to keep your knees... I think of like a tight end maybe. LeBron has lost weight throughout his career, right? That's all older athletes have to cut muscle eventually for your joints. You're right. That's what I do. He's young enough that you do have to get larger. like you do grow into your frame but i just feel like frankly maybe i mean here i am criticizing an nfl athlete but i'm just like i just kind of think yeah i know just cheeto dust all over me but i'm just kind of like you know what i just think he was uh he read all the comments and he was kind of embarrassed uh that he had a bad year and everyone else he was like the sixth best rookie receiver in his class and i think he was embarrassed so he got really ripped give us your uh your shameless homer pick so what is this category do you want me to talk about just one giant that you're the most like is it like a diamond in the rough or is it like like the best player in the

47:59Bill Simmons:team just a guy that is on your team that is being discussed as a fantasy guy anyway but you're even

48:06Danny Heifetz:hiring him than you should be just because he's on your team so neighbors is the obvious pick i will just reiterate that malik neighbors really was leaned on by the giants more to start his career last year than any more fun pick would be jackson dart well that's exactly so neighbors is week six dart i i think you like you don't have to hold dart the whole year because he's not going to play for too much i will say cam scadaboo cam scadaboo the running back i am in love with him He just came back to practice today. I wanted him on the pass. Scadaboo is the... I freaked out when they took him in the fourth round.

48:33And Scadaboo... You were always on him, too. I loved Scadaboo. Yes.

48:36Danny Heifetz:And I think he was the only player to have like 1 ,600 rushing yards and 500 receiving a season since McCaffrey. And I just... Frankly, he's slow. And we're by... I mean, it's just overlapping stuff of... It's like a cult hero. Yeah, it's like a white running back, which is just funny. You just know he's going to be good. Everyone's like, well, he's slow. And he's not that athletic. I'm like, I don't care. He's going to be good. I am so convinced that he has, and also the funny thing about him is because he's so big, he has a total three down skill set, which is hilarious because he's not fast, but he can block and he's a really good receiver.

49:03Danny Heifetz:So I am really convinced that Scadaboo, and I also think because he had this hamstring injury, zero rookie hype, he would have shot up. Well, he basically missed all of training camp. He missed a lot, but like Tyrone Tracy, in a weird way, even though he was a receiver in college, I kind of think that's the empty calorie touches, where I actually think Scadaboo could get goal line because he's way larger and he can do passing work. Transformative Giants draft. Yeah. Yes. Oh, yeah. It really seemed like a special one. Dude, Abdul Carter is, don't even get me started. He is. Every Giants fan in my life is just like, has to be hosed down.

49:32Danny Heifetz:Abdul Carter. He is. Dude, when they put him over the guard, like the Cowboys do with Michael Parsons against the Bills. Unbelievable.

49:37Bill Simmons:But we knew it the whole time. That's what, like, the Joe Milton game is just so devastating. But then the Pats ended up, I'll do my shameless homer pick ahead of everybody else, the Travion Henderson. Yeah. Oh, yeah. God. I was looking at the Jameer Gibbs rookie numbers where he was like 900 yards rushing and I don't know, 600 yards receiving. And it felt like a lot. It felt impactful. If Henderson plays 17 games, there's no way he's not doing better than Jameer Gibbs rookie season. He has this home run receiving power that I don't even think Gibbs has. Like I was looking at Gibbs' biggest receiving like explosion thing.

50:13Bill Simmons:Henderson's going to do it multiple times. And if you have kickoff returns in your draft that's tied to the players, which some drafts do. And they changed these kickoff rules. And I think he's going to be one of the biggest weapons in the league. I just think he's... It was honestly a miracle that he fell to... The Browns had 36 and took the other Ohio State running back. That's going to be an all-time error. And it was like a miracle. It made up for the

50:34Danny Heifetz:Abdul-Carter thing. No, it's karma. It literally did. It's karma for when you guys took... The Patriots took Sonny Michel over Nick Chubb when he came out of Georgia.

50:42Bill Simmons:Yeah, it seesawed the other way. Yeah. So we get Will Campbell for who... He's not Abdul Carter, but he is, you know, he'll be a good left tackle for us. And then Henderson, who, if he had gone 12 to the Chargers, people would be like, should he be RB5? They'd be just going, what's Harbaugh? Can he get to 2 ,000 all-purpose yards? And on the Pats, he's kind of buried, but he's been the story of camp. That's all people talk about covering the Pats. I feel like it's every day. Every day he does something.

51:07Danny Heifetz:His first touch is a 100-yard touchdown return. The thing with Henderson, we were just talking about it. We recorded our show for the fantasy show earlier today, and I was saying, I think the thing with Travion, about why I think he held a larger impact rookie year than most rookies is just, I think the passing game's harder because frankly, they don't want to trust, at the end of the day, a rookie's still an intern and like they don't want to trust the$100 million quarterback with like being protected by the guy who's been by 21 years old. And I think Henderson is a function of NIL because they paid him a lot of money to go back to Ohio State and want to win a championship.

51:32Danny Heifetz:And so I think frankly, he's just, it's a new era now where people as a running back, as talented as Travion Henderson would have gotten as much experience on the team. And so I think while that might be larger, you know, it's more of tread on the tires, so to speak, for his contract. In terms of a rookie or impact, he's just more experienced than most people this talented are entering a season. The fact that he can block like he does

51:54Bill Simmons:because they go nuts about how he blocks. Hardest thing for rookies to lose. So he's out there and it's like, oh, it's a passing down. He's out there. It's like, maybe it's not. Or maybe it is. Or maybe they'll run and you're going to have to defend the whole field with him. He's a godsend. Like, McDaniels is talking about like Vereen and James White, all these dudes they had in this spot. And he's like, this guy's like all those dudes on steroids. He's way better than them. he's gonna surpass

52:16Danny Heifetz:Romandre quickly and I entered the season thinking that would not happen but he's clearly

52:20Bill Simmons:yeah I'm gonna all my friends are gonna bid me up on him and it's gonna I'm just gonna like be like

52:25Danny Heifetz:28 28 30 yeah who do you have for Seattle I'm shameless homer about Kenneth Walker I absolutely love that guy I think he's I stand by this I think he's one of the best pure runners in the league going back the last few years I mean he make guys miss break tackles you know just obliterate angles in the open field. He's actually proven to be a pretty good pass catcher. Last year he had 46 catches which was 12th most among running backs and that was only in 11 games. Why can't he play

52:52Bill Simmons:five straight games? Well that's the problem. He's too busy suplexing defenders. He's too elusive. Right. He's a red flag guy. You can't even find him for the catcher. Well this is why I'm shameless about it. I'm shameless about it. He's one of those guys where if it was just like if you just watched like silhouettes of players running you didn't know who that was. If somebody like he kind of looks like Saquon Barkley in moments. Yeah. He really has. He's awesome. I had him last year.

53:13Danny Heifetz:He was great. Saquon with a touch of Isaiah Pacheco. Yeah, a little bit angry run to him. He has a weird running gate. He runs like a crab. He runs sideways.

53:21Bill Simmons:Do you have a shameless Steelers pick? To be honest, no. I don't. You got mad at me for avoiding the Steelers? Boswell? There's nobody that I'm like, this guy's going to crush. I mean, I can give you a player I think is kind of under the radar. I'm not saying at all he'll be fantasy relevant. but their third round pick last year, Roman Wilson, the receiver out of Michigan. I do think he's good. He played five snaps last year. He's hurt all year. Five. Literally five. Rodgers is talking him up. He won the natty with Michigan. He had 12 touchdowns that year. He's like very gritty, dirty work, blocking guy.

53:54Apparently he's been great in camp. He's like that slot receiver that is exactly what the Steelers need. Rodgers has seemed to like him. I do think there's a chance that in like a month or two we're like, oh, Roman Wilson. You might get some manufactured touches. That was sad.

54:07Bill Simmons:I don't have a shameless Homer pick I don't but here's a guy who had five snaps last year that I'm mildly excited about we'll take a break and then coming back with the Veal Chop guy this episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra whether you're racing to build the biggest sandcastle seeing who can throw the fastest pitch or competing in a championship match it's always better when there's a prize on the line like Michelob Ultra smooth, refreshing, and so satisfying after all that hard work Superior's worth playing for Michelob Ultra, Superior Light Beer. Enter for a chance to win superior soccer, basketball, and golf prizes at Michelob Ultra.com slash superior access.

54:45Bill Simmons:Enjoy responsibly. Copyright 2026, Anheuser-Busch, Michelob Ultra Light Beer, St. Louis, Missouri. This episode is brought to you by ServiceNow. Look, I already have my dream job. I run the ringer. Argue with Chris Ryan, AKCR. But even dream jobs have not-so-dreamy parts. The work that slows you down never seems to go away. That's where ServiceNow's AI specialists come in. They're like digital teammates who actually do the job start to finish. No handoffs, no homework. That means more time for the work that actually matters, which for me is talking about whether the 86 Celtics can beat the 96 Bulls, which they could.

55:22Bill Simmons:To learn how to put AI to work for people, visit servicenow.com. All right. This is a special category. Danny's going to lead us off. It's the My Veal Chop guy, the Veal Chop, which we argued about last year in this podcast. It's a feast or famine order. I still have yet to have a veal chop. It's expensive. It might be great. It might be terrible. You just don't know. David Chang, we did this category last year and he was so upset that the veal chop was besmirched. Yeah, disparity. He thought it was an absolutely insane take that I continue to be the worst food take person. Did he not agree with the podcast?

55:55Bill Simmons:He doesn't have bad veal chops. Dave Chang walks in and they're like, better not fuck up the veal chop. That's what I said. This is like, this is like, you know, he's snobby in general with this food. It's not like he's rolling the dice. So he thinks all veal chops are good. He can, he, his theory is all veal chops bring something to the table. Okay. Um, anyway, who do you, who do you have for your veal chops? It's like a phrase like, it definitely helps me understand. It sounds like a participation trophy for veal chops. Who do you have for your veal chop guy, Danny? Jameson Williams of the Lions.

56:23Good year last year. Yeah. He, obviously the first two years in the league was all over the place. He got, he was injured at first then he got suspended for gambling and then he was I think just kind of a knucklehead they didn't trust him right away so he was playing off and on but every time he gets on the field you're like this is the fastest guy in the league it never works out like there's been a lot of these guys and usually they're out of the league in like three years he was right on the cusp of like he literally might be out of the league that's what we had

56:47Bill Simmons:with Tyquan Thornton who the Chiefs are trying to save right now he's like 4-2 speed the Chiefs are just

56:52Danny Heifetz:like kind of your last stop on the way out yeah totally tire kick But J-Mo, he had over 1 ,000 yards last year. To me, he's just the perfect example of there will be one game where he has 200 yards and three touchdowns, and then he'll have a catch the next week, and you kind of whack-a-mole trying to figure out when to play him. But I truly believe he's one of the most talented receivers in the NFL. It's just a matter of— He is open by five yards when he's on a deep pass.

57:18Bill Simmons:You don't even see the defender behind him. The first round three years ago. That's one of the better fantasy questions from last year, of who had more receiving yards, T. Higgins or Jamison Williams. And everyone would have said T. Higgins. I like that one. I mean, it felt like he was getting better and better as the year was going along. Who do you have for your Bill Chopp guy? It's got to be Devon H.M. Oh, we're just running it back. It has to be. He hurt his team. For the most part, it was a pretty good experience with him last year, right? When Tua played, he was a top two running back. He was basically Saquon.

57:49When Tua didn't play, he was irrelevant and borderline not startable.

57:52Danny Heifetz:Alexander Madison had more points per game than A-Chan when Tua was out. Yeah. And so it's like, I mean, he hurt his calf right now. He's got a hurt calf, which is like the biggest red flag of all time. For speed guys. The calf is just, if we did a draft of the soft tissue injuries you want to see, calf is dead last. Well, especially after this NBA season.

58:09Bill Simmons:I now treat the calf injury like it's impossible. It's like a heart attack. Yeah. It's like a cancer diagnosis. Oh my God, it's a calf injury? Jesus. So I don't know. I don't know where I stand with A-Chan. and I honestly think I'm probably going to avoid him. I was kind of into him until the calf injury came around. I want no one on that team. I'm kind of out on him, too.

58:29Danny Heifetz:The way Craig nailed it, he said, Achan's a parlay. You're parlaying that Devon Achan's calf is okay with Tua plays football. Good luck.

58:36Bill Simmons:I have a great Bill Chup guy. I'm really excited about it. I'm excited to talk about him with the three of you. Braylon Allen. Yeah. Wow. So I had Brees Hall on both teams last year. Sure. Me too. He just put his poop in a doggy bag and whipped it at me for four months. Vivid. And every time Braylon Allen came in for him, you have that sinking feeling as a fantasy football person. You're 100 % right. The guy behind your guy comes in and you're like, fuck, that guy's better. Yeah, he just is. I knew it in my soul. You just know in your soul, like, ah. This guy's better. He just is. The guy just hits the hole far.

59:16Bill Simmons:He seems stronger. Like, God damn it. I thought I just really got this wrong. I just think he's going to end up being the jet starter and having a big season. He's like 19 years old. I don't even know. Is he still a teenager? He was the youngest drafted player ever, wasn't he?

59:31Danny Heifetz:Yeah, he was the youngest drafted player, I think, ever. And then, I mean, I don't know about the 30s when there was like World War I, World War II gaps or whatever. But he had his freshman year at Wisconsin. He was 17 years old. This is the meme. People always talk about this. But he had like 1 ,300 yards at Wisconsin in a very similar scheme. but overall to your point the person who's going to notice this immediately is aaron glenn the coach of the jets right he's going i think he's kind of team he wants to have i want to run the

59:58Bill Simmons:ball i want to pound the ball the case for the jets to go nine and eight get a seven seed which i will not make but there will be a terrible seven seed in the afc it's just where it's going to happen but the case is braylon alam is actually like incredible the case and their line is and

1:00:12Danny Heifetz:the other point the jets have a sneaky really good offensive line i mean you know you could be

1:00:15Bill Simmons:unless you watch the membo footage last weekend was he not good oh no it's good in theory the membo footage was bad footage i think he called it footage like footage like i was on a pruder film i was trying to pack pats fan text thread as we were exalting that we have campbell and that membo and somebody was like look how slow his hands are slow hands can't get his hands up fast enough it's like oh slow hands uh but anyway alan that's my guy i am stubbornly i'm very stubbornly staying on breeze hall island and i don't feel good i'll sell you my car i don't feel good about it anymore

1:00:53Danny Heifetz:as you can imagine never have him again we get mad at each other they one of them is mad at me yeah the only time i've seen them like actually really angry at each other was when he besmirched pretty small pretty small it's the only thing i've seen him do that get him it's a weird one

1:01:05Bill Simmons:because he seemed like just a slam dunk. He's not. He is good. Two years ago, it seemed like he was a slam dunk, paid$50 for this guy in a fan of Dread. I feel great about it. He's never had 1 ,000 yards in a year. Yeah. He's never averaged less than like 14 points.

1:01:19Danny Heifetz:I just can't get over the fact. HN literally is on par with Gibbs, Bijan, and Saquon when Tua plays. And then literally, literally he's there with Alexander Madison and post-injury Nick Chubb when Tua doesn't play. And I can't think of a player that would be more the spirit of this thing of boomer feast or famine.

1:01:36Bill Simmons:Braylon Allen's in the 20s somewhere, right? 25? No, lower. Oh, way lower. For sure. You think? By the time this season,

1:01:44Danny Heifetz:what if he has a starting job? Way lower. I mean, if he had the starting job, but I don't think he's going to, I think he'll be low. Way lower. If Reese gets traded. You can get him for, there's a world where if you didn't have this podcast and everyone in the league wasn't listening, you might have been. Yeah, but I haven't won since 07,

1:01:58Bill Simmons:so I'd be probably like zag against me. I'll tell you right now.

1:02:01Danny Heifetz:You can probably get him for$2. He's the running back 47. You can get him for$2 in your drafts. That's where he's going in drafts. Really? Yeah. You can get him for$2. I don't think he'll get him for a pay-three.

1:02:08Bill Simmons:He's not even a veal chop guy. He's like a freaking appetizer. Yeah. He's like the scallops with the bacon. Yeah. All right. DK. I wouldn't take him, even if he was free guy, a.k.a. the DND list, the list you don't want to be on. I have three guys on mine this year. Yeah. Mine's kind of a team thing. I'm staying away from the Cowboys backfield. So Javante. Just blind stay away. You don't want one person to play. Even if they're. I mean, I guess I would take Jaden Blue really late for a dollar or whatever. But I just am avoiding that. I just don't have any faith that they're going to run the ball well or often.

1:02:47And I think they're going to be a pass heavy team. I'm just staying away from that. What do you have, Craig? Garrett Wilson. I'm good. Yeah. I don't want anybody that's Justin Fields is throwing passes to. Rodgers had the third most passes in the league last year Garrett Wilson was the wide receiver 23 now he's getting drafted as the wide receiver 15 he's getting better with Justin Fields throwing the ball like 18 times a game I don't get it at all

1:03:11Bill Simmons:I like that one I have with apologies to DK Metcalf and Kyle Pitts Trevor Lawrence literally he was one of my big guys last year he scurred you I can tell Yeah, he's also not good. He's not good at football. You're not willing to wait for the Liam Cohen. I'm not willing to wait on anything. I don't think he's accurate. I think he throws hospital balls left and right. If I was Brian Thomas Jr.'s family, I'd be terrified every game. I don't think he's a smart quarterback. I think he does dumb shit, especially inside the 20th. I forgot until I went through my notes how fucking stupid the Jaguars were last year.

1:03:53Bill Simmons:Where they were like 0-4 and we were like, how is this team 0-4? I just don't think that goes away I don't think he has it and I think he's a complete stay away not even for zero dollars

1:04:03Danny Heifetz:I think the literal recent history of the NFL would suggest that I think giving up on quarterbacks who played for horrible organizations like Jacksonville is just a mistake like you're talking about they had to out Liam Cohen had to oust the general the GM of the Jags Trent Baalke like he was like Littlefinger or Rasputin or something because that's the organization but if you just look at is this a Trevor Lawrence defense? because it feels like you're making one I am No, it's just Baker. I'm just saying Baker Mayfield was salary dumped by the Carolina Panthers. And he's now a hundred,$40 million a year player.

1:04:32Danny Heifetz:Ageno Smith was a backup for eight years and then went and now is like a good above average starting quarterback. Bryce Young was given up on bench by the Panthers. And then two weeks later outplayed CJ Stroud the rest of the season. I mean, if you just look around and.

1:04:43Bill Simmons:Ruiz made the key point about, about Bryce Young yesterday in the ringer NFL show. It's like his stats are basically the same as Anthony Richardson. Anthony Richardson is younger. Everybody's like Bryce Young looking good. No. Bryce Young, he played two good games. Come on. Everyone has to settle down on Bryce Young. He almost beat the Eagles. I'm just saying that like. Like put these garbage time. Like everyone was not taking them seriously because they were so terrible.

1:05:06Danny Heifetz:I'm dubious. But you're like in Jigba for the Seahawks. And it's like Sam Donald's the quarterback of the Seahawks. It's like he's been given up on by like four or five teams. I guess I'm just saying like. 14 and three last year. I know, but that's my point. The Jets gave up on him. And the Panthers gave up.

1:05:20Bill Simmons:You haven't followed football for long enough because you're way younger than I am. I've watched this happen too many times when these people get infected by being on bad teams for too many years that's it, it's like gangrene your leg falls off how did Sam Darnold win 14 games last year well Sam Darnold how many teams was he on, he bounced around

1:05:39Danny Heifetz:he had to go to the Niners and be rehabilitated I think Trevor Lawrence needs to leave Jacksonville before anything good happens for him he needs to cut his hair I will bed in the Jags to win the Super Bowl when he just gets a buzz cut

1:05:50Bill Simmons:how many times do you watch Trevor Lawrence do something stupid and then cuts him on the sideline and he takes his helmet off and he's like, like, I just can't do it again.

1:06:00Danny Heifetz:I just think coaching, Kevin O 'Connell said last year. Doug Peterson won a Super Bowl. And then was fired with the same quarterback because he couldn't make it happen. Liam Cohen, like, had one good year

1:06:07Bill Simmons:with Baker Mayfield. Everyone's like, oh, Ben Johnson, 2.0. Like, are we sure he's even going to be a good coach? And what makes us think Jacksonville is confident in any way? They just traded

1:06:17Danny Heifetz:their entire draft for Travis Hunter. What exact week did Trevor Lawrence fail you last year's season that you feel this way? How about all the weeks? Every single week? It was 2-8 last year.

1:06:27Bill Simmons:There's plenty of hate in his heart right now, I feel like. What is his career record? Oh, it's 22-38. It's better than I thought, actually. I just don't get it. The last two years. This is his year. Last two years, 32 touchdowns, 21 picks. In a league where everybody is like 30 touchdowns, 8 picks. I'm out. He's making some good points. I'm out. I'm sorry. I just feel really passionate about this. I don't get it. it's just like the Justin Herbert thing where he sucked in the playoffs last year and now everyone just forgot nine months later it's like Justin Herbert one of the eight best quarterbacks in the league is he?

1:07:01Bill Simmons:because we watched him stink in the playoffs and it doesn't matter

1:07:06Danny Heifetz:but the through line of those is Greg Roman who's the coordinator of the Chargers just has never designed a modern passing offense and like 2019 is this another excuse maker for Herbert? oh I will defend Herbert as well I'm just saying we know Greg going in fucking Scientologists what? I just I'm not saying they're definitely going to be good. I'm just saying that I don't... We're at a quarter of the league is quarterbacked by highly drafted guys whose first organizations failed them. And it's really clear that like, okay, some guys just needed good, better coaching or maybe 25, 26. Josh Allen is someone you forget.

1:07:38Danny Heifetz:Josh Allen fucking sucked in his first two seasons and then was awesome in year three.

1:07:42Bill Simmons:He was 10 and 6 in his second season.

1:07:43Danny Heifetz:No, he was terrible his rookie year, though. No, his Texans... Terrible his rookie year. The Texans playoff game Josh Allen played his second season was the worst game I'd ever seen a quarterback. That was when he was lateraling. It's like... He must look like Justin Herbert. Yeah. You always say Herbert hasn't won the playoffs. Justin Herbert, the Week 18 game versus the Raiders that Brandon Staley blew because they tied the game. One of the best games I've seen a quarterback play. Maybe it's not playoffs, but if they win the game, they make the playoffs, and if they lose, the season's over. He lit up...

1:08:08Bill Simmons:Who did he light up? The Raiders.

1:08:10Danny Heifetz:Okay, but it was... He had two 4th and 15s, two 4th and 10s.

1:08:14Bill Simmons:They had the janitor as their interim head coach? I think like if you can come around on Sam Darnold now on his like ninth team on Seattle and you're like I only came around because he did it he went 14-3 he had a horrible playoff loss but that's my point Kevin O 'Connell

1:08:32Danny Heifetz:himself was the one and they're like how did he do it and people are like oh you did it he's like no organizations fail quarterbacks totally more than quarterbacks fail organizations okay

1:08:40Bill Simmons:well year five Trevor Lawrence they have one of the five worst offensive lines in the league right Danny yeah Bottom five. Probably, yeah. We've already seen that when he's pressured, it gets a little dicey. I just want to win one more year. If it doesn't work with Cohen. I would like to see. Yeah, exactly. I wish you guys a lot of luck. The Herbert one surprises me. His coaching matters. Well, it's like... Score 14 points against a good defense. He played the Texans. Sam Darnold got eviscerated in the playoffs. I'm not going to defend Sam Darnold. He fell apart. Or like, I don't know, Dak Prescott or something like that.

1:09:13It's like if Dak Prescott over Justin Herbert, What the fuck is Dak Prescott? Did everybody take a D &D list guy? I just tried.

1:09:19Danny Heifetz:Just Joe Mixon. His foot's messed up. I wouldn't draft Joe Mixon. Yeah, that's... Yeah, just Joe Mixon's foot. They're not being honest about it. I don't even know he's going to play.

1:09:26Bill Simmons:Would you... So you guys would take pits?

1:09:29Danny Heifetz:Yeah, because he'll be so cheap. He's the cheapest he's ever been.

1:09:33Bill Simmons:He's like$0 for me. No, I'm doing it. Oh, this is a fun... It's a group category. Our Aaron Brooks, please don't ever watch him. Just check the box score after the game, guy. it's justin fields yeah just don't watch one snap literally don't watch the points yep yeah he'll be like in the 20s every game right just don't watch any of the snaps don't watch the footage as the blake bortles was that way tim tebow had that year where he had like one point before the fourth quarter and then scored 18 every fourth and it's a it's a tough existence in fantasy when you have a guy like that but you can squeeze out 20 points craig who is this is one of our best categories from last year.

1:10:11Bill Simmons:My, that 2024 booty call isn't happening again guy. The guy who kind of, late at night in the fantasy season last year, all of a sudden he was getting points for you, but you don't know if it's a real thing or not. Well, this is funny because we just had a long conversation that he was involved in. Sam Darnold. Booty call guy for you? Natasha Hedtridge and Species. It only works there. Nowhere else. I'm like, in that movie? Great. The Kevin O 'Connell system awesome right now he's like in seattle i'm just like i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't want to change that category to the natasha species yeah i'm like like for sure yeah sam darnel anywhere else not for me sam don't want his own not for me i was split for mine between johnny smith i still don't understand that season he had last year yeah that's a good one how did that chuba hubbard thing happen where all of a sudden and he was one of the six best running backs in the league.

1:11:11He had all of it. He had all of the...

1:11:13Bill Simmons:Okay, so I'm going to go Johnny Smith. Hubbard was winning people leagues. Yeah, yeah. And I just wonder if that happened.

1:11:21Danny Heifetz:It's also because it may have been a bad move, if you want to say it, but they overpaid those guards. So the Carolina has a weirdly competent offensive line. And so it's a good line. And Shuba Hubbard, you have to be good to survive three regimes. He was drafted by Matt Rule, really Matt Rule's wife. Right, because she's like, I like this guy. Let's take him. I looked at his game log,

1:11:35Bill Simmons:and it's pretty... He's good. Every three, four weeks, he would have 150 yards. Well, he would, yeah. He was getting like 85 % of the snaps for that team. It's a good line.

1:11:43Danny Heifetz:He's good. So I'll go John Anu. Who do you have? John is better than... I think, unfortunately, Terry McLaurin for Washington is like a buzzkill. But I mean, Terry McLaurin tied the most touchdowns in the history of the team. But I mean, he only had like under 1 ,100 yards. But now Debo's there. And also every touchdown Terry had looked like, other than, of course, when they played the Giants, everything looked like the hardest catcher. Like a miracle. Yeah, it was like a miracle. Also, he's sneaky,

1:12:05Bill Simmons:like 31 years old? Yes, 30,

1:12:07Danny Heifetz:the contract. Terry's a great guy. He's easy to root for, but I just think where you're drafting him, it's like his ceiling and a realistic thing. Should we do an ESPN segment here?

1:12:13Bill Simmons:Oh, yeah.

1:12:14Danny Heifetz:You got to pay him.

1:12:16Bill Simmons:You got to pay Terry McLaurin. You got to pay him. I actually do think they need to pay him. If they want to win 10 games, they might need to pay him. Everybody had a booty call guy? I got one. Who's yours? James Cook for the Bills. I love James Cook, actually, And I think there is a small chance that he is just in that tier of, like Alvin Kamara, where he's just way too, he's so efficient and he just keeps doing it every year. It shocks you every year. But last year he had 16 touchdowns rushing. The two years before that, two and two. And if you look at his other underlying metrics, he is not a normal elite quarterback.

1:12:57He was 28th in touches per game, 38th in snap rate, 24th in rush rate in terms of how many carries he was getting relative to the rest of team like barely just over half of the goal go opportunities were his i think it was just like lightning in a bottle he got a he got the most goal line carries i think in the nfl or inside the five yard carries in the nfl last year i don't know if that's going to happen again josh allen's going to steal some of those maybe ray davis steal some of them uh his underlying metrics just don't match the production he would have to be one of the most efficient running backs in the NFL again in his second year, and I don't know if he can do that.

1:13:33And also, he wasn't really used in the passing game that much. So, I don't know. The James Cook, he just feels like that was one... And he got a new contract. Yeah.

1:13:42Bill Simmons:I really liked him second half of the year. I thought he was awesome. Yeah. So, I don't know if that... I don't know what to think on this one. Yeah. There's some red flags, but I could also see him being one of the five best guys. Right. He could be like Kamara. I think it's possible, but the metrics, the math, it doesn't... It's not mathing, as they say. All right. Next category is my look. Somebody's got to get points in that team guy. For me, it's Calvin Ridley. Me too. Calvin Ridley too. Oh, you have him too? Yeah. He's one of my favorite players this year. Here's the thing. Can't work might be like pretty good.

1:14:15Bill Simmons:Yeah. That's another guy. When you read the quotes and stuff, I like that he got in the fight with Jeffrey Simmons. Yeah. And they were like, what'd you learn from that fight? And he's like, Jeff's pretty strong. Yeah. Have you seen Jeff? Yeah. He's a big guy. There's also a narrative now that's not a narrative anymore, but it seems like it's become a narrative of we're not talking about Cam Ward enough, which is really borrowed from the NBA where we don't talk about guys enough. There's a first take right there. The guy in every single ESPN show is like, we don't talk about Austin Reeves enough.

1:14:47Bill Simmons:And it's like, no, we actually probably talk about him the right amount. The Cam Ward thing, he just looks like he's going to be a franchise quarterback. They have a good offensive line. and I'm not ready to think they could steal the AFC South or be out of nowhere and win nine games or anything like that because they're pretty bad, and the coaching was bad last year on that team. Who fucked up more games than the Titans? It's just hard to do anything, though, with Will Levis. That was Levis a lot of the time. Yeah, but they had some special team stuff, too. They were sloppy.

1:15:16Danny Heifetz:They brought you a new guy. But their defense was also one of the best defenses to start the season ever that barely won any games. I will say that I love, shout out to Bill Callahan, the reverse NEPA where the son gives the dad the job. And so they have the best offensive line coach in the league. And I do think it's underrated how much better Cam Ward will be than Will Levis. And then the offensive line getting Dan Moore Jr. It's like kind of like the Panthers. There's some pieces. I kick-started it as a sleeper. I couldn't get there. Overpay amid linemen looks dumb in March. But then we actually see the team.

1:15:44Danny Heifetz:You're like, well, if it works, if it makes J.C. Latham back to right tackle and everyone's, okay, that's actually above average offensive line. Cam Ward with time. I mean, it's kind of like he's doing a Matt Stafford arm angles with like Ben Roethlisberger. Like if he was Ben Roethlisberger, smaller Ben Roethlisberger. Like I like Ken Ward a lot. And he's, he also, all he talks about is throwing to Calvin Ridley. Yeah. And right now, Calvin Ridley is being priced like Will Levis is still the quarterback. It's basically, they're just like assuming he's going to have the same year he had last year.

1:16:09Bill Simmons:And I don't really want to have Calvin Ridley on my team, but it seems like he's going to be the beneficiary. He's the boring player that falls like multiple rounds and no one wants to take him. Also, he was, what was it, a gambling thing? Or what was this thing? He missed an entire year for gambling. To me, I'm like, great. That means his legs are a year younger than his age suggests. That happened with A-Rod. All right, so we all have Ridley for that. Anybody have one other guy for that? I had Ted McMillan for the Panthers. Oh. I just think, good receiver, and you're not going to like to hear this, but I thought Bryce, you know, elevated that offense in the second half of the year.

1:16:41At least statistically.

1:16:42Bill Simmons:No, he had some moments. Yeah, statistically, I think he got his confidence back because he was like no confidence at all. You know the scuttlebutt, right? do you know why bryce young was in turmoil part of mentally tyrese maxx he started dating

1:16:58Danny Heifetz:bryce's girlfriend oh really and we think and and then you know he kind of the benching was like a

1:17:04Bill Simmons:rebirth of sorts well it was really the andy dalton car accident yes right one of the most underrated the most underrated football moments it's the guy who was the guy that got stabbed by the chargers team doctor tyron taylor yeah yeah conspiracy do you think that that car crash you never know who knows Princess Diana Daniel Jones has got to watch out three episode Netflix show who hit Andy Dalton uh oh oh we'll do this quick my sorry that's a little too rich for my blood guy uh mine's McCaffrey I'm just any price over $32 I'm just not are we doing the McCaffrey thing now I'm just I'm just we don't need to everyone you don't have to talk me into it I'm not doing it it's just what your level of risk is.

1:17:49If it works, you'll probably win.

1:17:51Bill Simmons:Yeah. You'll feel great week four when he has like the 230 total yards and three TDs and everyone's talking about how he looks like he did five years ago and then the red flag pops up.

1:18:01Danny Heifetz:I mean, we're kind of stepping on this, but you also had a category later. I'd be afraid to look on Tuesday and see the red flag guy. He's almost should be named after. Yeah, honestly, it should. He's unlike any other fantasy pick I can remember McCaffrey this year because we're all afraid he's going to get hurt. But every week he doesn't hurt we're going to rank him where each week first yeah like he's the first one of the three best guys in the that's my week one test thing with mcafrey is he's going to probably have three touchdowns you know he's just been practicing all month he's going to play he's going to play 19 out of 20 steps about him being scared when they it's not even just a calf

1:18:36Bill Simmons:injury or an achilles injury they had it has some name that i don't even know what the you mean bilateral achilles tendinitis yeah it's like what is that i don't love that it's spread to the other leg yeah speaking of gangrene it's got the rock the one leg caught the other leg i the warren

1:18:51Danny Heifetz:buffett rule is my the ultimate fantasy thing to me is just like be bold when everyone else is fearful be fearful when everyone's bold everyone's not fearful he's the first rounder that's okay but he's the best fantasy football player since ladenian thompson period full stop but he's literally not somebody people are fearful about if he's going seventh but he's the best fantasy football player since i think when the drafts start he's gonna be in one of the three guys

1:19:14Bill Simmons:I got him seventh, like, literally yesterday. Because he wins the league. If he's healthy in week 15, 16, 17, you win the league. The argument is you're not trying to get seventh place. If you're trying to avoid, you know, doing rage-baiting tweets, maybe don't take Christian McCaffrey, but go big or go home.

1:19:32Danny Heifetz:Barry has the rule of, like, you can't win your draft in the first round, but maybe you can lose it. And, like, maybe I'm tempting the fantasy gods with hubris by being like that. But you know what? This is the exception. Like, I know I sound, like, hyperbolic, but McCaffrey literally has the most fantasy points per game of any player. And the Niners, even last year when he came back from this injury, they were conservative with it. He played all the snaps. How old is he now? He's 29.

1:19:53Bill Simmons:I'm not doing it. His Achilles are 38 though. Bilateral. Bilateral. I'm more scared of Achilles and calves than anything. Yeah. It's like Cold War 1960s level fear. You could just be standing there and your Achilles just explodes. Yeah. I also had Garrett Wilson for this category sure but we already talked about him hi Fitz

1:20:15Danny Heifetz:who's your$1 quarterback guy $1 quarterback guy so I'm curious where you think this begins because like is Dak Prescott a$1 quarterback guy is Drake May no he's probably in that 4 to 5 range right I think in that case I will just say I think there's more $1 quarterbacks than I can ever remember and I can make a case for Stroud you heard mine in Lawrence JJ McCarthy Stroud will be more than$1 but I'm going to have Jordan Love I think Jordan Love is probably You don't think so? It's higher than$1. You think? Okay, then I was... So you're just like... Are you going to have two quarterback leagues or just one quarterback?

1:20:44Bill Simmons:I mean, I have Cam Ward as my$1 guy. Oh, so in that case,

1:20:47Danny Heifetz:then I would pick Michael... You're going that deep? Michael Penix. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Penix.

1:20:49Bill Simmons:$1 is like your backup QB you spend a dollar on and then he wins eight weeks for you and you can't believe... Penix. I think Penix is going to throw a lot. I agree. Bill, I'm getting like Gary Payton vibes with Cam Ward. Just talk shit and picks fights with everyone. Has no fear whatsoever. The Simmons fight was enthralling. I read like eight stories about it. I was like, why did he do that? You're going into prison. You pick a fight with the biggest guy. Yeah. When he talks shit with Shadur. Punch the biggest guy you can find. Yeah. Did he remember the thing about the 5 a.m. meetings? Mm-mm. Oh, yeah.

1:21:22Bill Simmons:He gets in there for 5 a.m. meetings, and he would bring the skill guys in, and the coaches were like, well, this will stop once preseason starts. And then the coach was like, every day, 5 a.m., the guy is for real. Dog levels through the roof. Yeah, he checks some boxes for sleepers. It also makes you think about when you're like, oh, a rookie quarterback, how much can they come in and be a leader and immediately take over? Reading what Cam Ward has done kind of makes you think about Caleb Williams a little bit. You don't hear any of that about Caleb Williams.

1:21:51Danny Heifetz:And again, new left tackle. JC Latham's a first-round pick at right tackle. You have Peter Skronsky's a first-round pick at left guard. And then they have Kevin Zeitler from the Lions at right guard. It's an unusually good line for a guy. Good line coach as well. I like the Cam one. I drafted him in my league. In a super flex, I have him as my QB, too.

1:22:06Bill Simmons:And you loved him in the draft, right, as a franchise guy? Yeah, he's not on the level of a lot of the first overall picks we've seen in the past at quarterback in terms of as a prospect. You know, older guy. And, Hafiz, you talk about it. He's like the ultimate American, all-American story or whatever.

1:22:23Danny Heifetz:Cam Ward is the American dream. Right. He's like a zero-star guy that started at— Incarnate Word, who transferred to Washington State, who transferred to Miami. First overall. He went from one D one offer to the number one pick in the draft. And the art, I know there's a lot of issues with NIL, but to me, that's why we did NIL and started paying players is that's the American dream is like, there are a lot of guys maybe could have been cam ward, but couldn't transfer or whatever. Couldn't put themselves through school, but he was able to make money. I can't, it's really like a, in a very corny way, a very American story.

1:22:52Danny Heifetz:But yeah, I like him a lot. Efton Chisholm Jr.

1:22:55Bill Simmons:Same thing. That's right. Our new Julian Edelman. You gotta have one. Yeah. There always has to be a white slot. Um, DK who do you have for your DeMar DeRozan anti-lytics guy new category for us anti-lytics they make no sense but he's gonna put up points and you don't really understand how or why this one I'm going the anti-lytics is because the numbers and vibes and overall just feel right now for the Dolphins is not good I'm going with Jalen Waddle these guys hate him there's a kind of a long running bit there's a long running bit on our he will never be on my team That's how we feel about Lawrence.

1:23:33This is what I'm talking about, though, because we're all out on him here collectively. But weirdly, his stats are good. Well, last year they weren't great, but going back throughout his career, he'd averaged 12, 13, and 11 points per game. And if Tyreek goes off and does this thing, like he tried to quit last year at the end of the season, like if he does an Antonio Brown thing and just pieces out midway through the season, Jalen Waddell is getting 35 % target rate.

1:23:57Danny Heifetz:That's true, and I won't dispute anything he just said. I just you look at Waddle and the type of player he is and you think he's boom bust but he's had 20 points in a game like three times in two years it's not even fun to have him no no

1:24:09Bill Simmons:I'll never know because I'll never have him I'm taking him you like him? I'm doing it screw you guys do you have a DeMar DeRozan guy? this is your category yeah I think James Cook it's like oh he had 18 touchdowns last year no way he'll do that again you know the numbers suggest that he'll regress and I'm just like he's like nah he's gonna do it again

1:24:30Danny Heifetz:I actually had the same thing with James Cook. He's just going to do it again. He's just going to have 18 touchdowns again. It'd be great. I don't care what the numbers suggest. I had the same thing. He's going to have 16 again. I'm like, it's just going to happen.

1:24:40Bill Simmons:Mine is Isaiah Pacheco. Ooh. But you're out or in? I think he's an anti-Lytics guy and he'll end up with like 13 touchdowns. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. Because you watch him and you're like, it feels like the first four running backs on the team called in sick and they had to like grab him. Hey, will you put on this jersey? It looks like he's figuring out how to run. Yeah. He just doesn't seem like he should be a starting running back or any kind of running back. Yeah. And then he's 17 for 80 with two touchdowns. He's a good one. Runs like he bites people. Because he was going pretty highly in drafts two years ago or like last year.

1:25:12And then he broke his leg.

1:25:13Danny Heifetz:Yeah. And so he was out most of the year. And now everybody just kind of forgot about him. Well, people were like, oh, he broke his leg last year. I don't want him because he was so bad when he came back. I'm like, he came back last year. Yeah. Right. He's recovered. Yeah. I like Pacheco. Did you have an analytics guy? I had James Cook too, where I'm like, generally speaking, you can count on touchdown. I think you said James Quick never had more than two touchdowns in a year and then he had 16. And that's the safest bet you can make is to have less than 16. I'm like, ah, he's going to do it again.

1:25:35Danny Heifetz:And yet that one, he's going to do it again.

1:25:38Bill Simmons:Well, this dives into I can't resist even though I know I'll be afraid to look on a Tuesday and see the red flag guy. I don't know why I have him down, but I think it's because I had him in both leagues last year. Sam Laporta. I just felt like he's always has some sort of minor injury that you're just being held hostage with no he's gonna play he hurt his shoulder but he's okay he takes big hits when you watch the Lions it always feels like he gets wracked Goff will just throw it over the middle and just get annihilated by a linebacker I didn't really enjoy the experience for$20 or whatever I paid

1:26:16Danny Heifetz:it was a little tough for Sam LaPorte who do you have? we gotta name this the McCaffrey award if McCaffrey pops up at the red flag I can't imagine any of your heart sinks. I was trying to zag against McCaffrey,

1:26:25Bill Simmons:but this has to be McCaffrey. Is there anybody else who's in this?

1:26:28Danny Heifetz:Tyreek Hill has to be in here. I think Malik Nabors is kind of in here. This is the secret Giants fans keep to ourselves. He's already has quite a bit of injuries.

1:26:36Bill Simmons:He's like a first, second rounder right now.

1:26:37Danny Heifetz:He's had a toe injury since LSU. He has those injuries where he's just trying to stretch out to catch the ball and gets hurt. Yeah. He got knocked out in the Cowboys game when he made an amazing sideline catch and his face hit the ground. I think he lost consciousness. What is he, like 170? Yeah, well, he has the back. He has the toe. Oh, he's a shoulder. And it's like, he's all they got. They're going to throw him. He led the league in targets last year. I'm like, just be careful. I'm a little worried because he's a special player. They threw him 50 balls in the first month of the season, which, I mean, that's what Cooper Cup got when he won the Triple Crown.

1:27:04Danny Heifetz:It was 50 targets in the first month of the season. He was a rookie. But yeah, I'm also, I don't know if he knows how to protect himself in the field to some degree. I don't know what's going on there, but he's picked up more injuries than I would like to see. He's 200 pounds, by the way. He's thicker than you think for a fast guy. 200 pounds? Really?

1:27:19Bill Simmons:Yeah.

1:27:19Danny Heifetz:Because he wears one, so he looks slim.

1:27:23Bill Simmons:That's smart. Smart uniform stuff. I'm going to start wearing number one around the office. I had a repeat here. I had Kenneth Walker. Always hurt. It's going to be great. It's going to be awesome watching him run and score a bunch of points in the first three weeks. And then in week four, he's out with a bleak injury. And I'm like, fuck. I've had him the last couple of years in at least one league. And it just never seems like he's healthy for more than three weeks. I'm going to do it again, though. He's great. You think he's 27, right? All right. You're leading us off for my 2022 Cooper Cup.

1:27:54Bill Simmons:It's a year after the year guy. So we named this after Cooper Cup because he had that 21 where just everything's perfect. He checks every box. It's clear it's his career year. And then the next year you're getting bought at that price when it's like, that's never happening again. Right. So who's that this year for you, Craig? I don't want to believe this, but I think it's the right call. is Jaden Daniels and the Commanders. Jaden, they were the best fourth down team ever. 87 % conversion rate. Jaden, everybody was worried about how skinny he was. He played all 17 games. He did hurt his ribs, but he was able to keep playing.

1:28:33I'm kind of like, man. Also, their schedule last year was way easier than it's going to be this year. Last year, they played the NFC South. They played the Titans, the Cardinals. This year, they play the NFC North and the AFC West, which I think are the two best divisions in football. Their two easiest games are Atlanta and Miami. outside of the Giants who are in the division. And I'm kind of just like, you know, there's a lot of things that could go wrong. I feel like the roster's fantastic.

1:28:56Bill Simmons:We don't know about the McLaurin thing. Yeah. Not sure about Debo. We got Fat Debo. The seventh round running back who's like, my name's Jacob, but call me Bill. Right, right. Whatever's going on. Ja 'Coury. Ja 'Coury, their tight end is Zach Ertz. He's like 40.

1:29:12Danny Heifetz:That's the other thing with Washington is they're an old team. It's like the Steelers, you think that they're old because of Rodgers, but they're kind of young. The Washington, you think they're young because of Jaden Daniels. Washington's the oldest team in the NFL.

1:29:21Bill Simmons:I don't want to spoil my pod with Sal, but you won't be surprised to know I don't have Washington in the playoffs. Yeah, you know. I also had Jaden Daniels. Wow. Yeah. I just... I thought everything went right. I mean, they fucking completed a Hail Mary.

1:29:38Danny Heifetz:Yeah. I know.

1:29:39Bill Simmons:They were 20 for 23 on fourth down. Part of me is like...

1:29:41Danny Heifetz:Everything went right. Missing the playoffs to me is a given. Maybe that's insulting to Washington fans, but I'm like, If you look at the quarterbacks they played, they were atrocious.

1:29:53Bill Simmons:And they went from the half-dead Ron Rivera to Dan Quinn. They went from, I don't even remember who their quarterback is, Sam Howell and all the other schmucks they had the year before to Jane Daniels. Easiest schedule possible. Like, come on. They were the classic bump team. It's not going to happen again. The thing that I reference with Jane Daniels is, I feel like it's such a hater thing to say. is like jay daniel is gonna fall off after having an all-time rookie season one of the most exciting and electric players in all of football yeah like revitalize the entire it revitalized the entire franchise like a whole new era yeah but i look at what happened with cj stroud too the last like in a year two where people start to catch up with what you're good at and take away the things that you're really good at i just worry a little bit that you know that's gonna happen here i don't think their defense is good like they lost a lot of dudes true i do think there's a little bit of like off-season amnesia you get sometimes where you kind of start to look at like the narratives and the math and you're like, well, they were pretty good on fourth down.

1:30:53Oh, actually this and that, oh, their schedule was hard. And so you're like, you know what? I'm out on the commanders. Jaden Daniels is going to have a regression second year. When I watched him, I was like, this is, this guy's the fucking best player.

1:31:02Danny Heifetz:Week one test, you're going to watch him like, oh yeah, this is, this guy is unbelievable. He out for Jill Burrow on week three. It was like week three. And I was like, I trust him over anybody maybe. He could do surgery.

1:31:11Bill Simmons:That would be the, that would be the zag against this. is if he's just in that Allen Mahomes category and that's it, then that means he goes at least 10 and seven every year. Yeah, it just doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I kind of lean that way more, actually, to be honest. But I think this is like mathematically. It's more for Washington than him. Yeah.

1:31:28Danny Heifetz:Like it's just everything went right for that team last year. I mean, if you want to do sophomore slump, it's Jaden Daniels. But the nature of this category, like the year after the year after, I think Saquon has to be the guy. Saquon just had the best running back season any running backs ever had. Like he literally just spurned his old team, went to the Eagles, which are the two home down teams where he grew up had the most rushing yards ever in a single season including the playoffs and then won the Super Bowl and we kind of just saw that except he lost Super Bowl with McCaffrey and then McCaffrey barely played last year it's like the history I mean Sikwin had the second most touches of the 21st century like 482 or something like that almost 500 touches and the history

1:32:02Bill Simmons:what was the Aaron Schatz thing 375 it was 380 it was the curse of 370 curse of 370 that was a great one I was really jealous of that one Sikwin had four I should have invented that one there you go

1:32:12Danny Heifetz:maybe you could just say you did Bill invented that Bill invented the curse of 370 yeah sick went on over 470 and so you look at that and you're like okay so the history guys that is really simple half of them who did it missed half the next season so it's a cornflip and if he doesn't he'll be great who's the backup running back I'm feeling Will Shipley who I laid her down Will Shipley is the biggest sleeper in fantasy football now that everyone knows Ja 'Cory Krosky-Merritt exists the biggest sleeper in fantasy Bill yeah Bill Merritt Will Will You invented that one too Will Shipley The Eagles signed A.G.

1:32:46Danny Heifetz:Dillon But he's kind of washed Will Shipley actually Kind of like A.G.

1:32:49Bill Simmons:Dillon No I'm telling you Will Shipley's going to be the guy

1:32:52Danny Heifetz:It's the feeling But yeah It's the moments I think Will Shipley If you think Saquon's going to get hurt Will Shipley Because the Eagles starting running back By like week 11 DK you had a 22 Cooper Cup guy right? I put Saquon Okay I just think it's the Like the obvious is Just based on the volume I guess you could put Derrick Henry here If you want I'm personally Not fading Derrick Henry until he actually falls off. He's like the mountain from Throne. I'm going to see him die.

1:33:14Bill Simmons:No, it's stupid though. You just got to take him over here. It's like Mike Evans is like that too. He's just like, let's all give up. They're just going to keep doing this until they stop him. I almost put Henry as my one true love for this year, but I decided to go with powers. It is awesome to have him on your team. Oh my God. You feel invincible. It really is. 100%. It's just great. I'm never going to die. I love him. I don't think I can die. Like immortal. Do we all have for the, I just want everyone on that offense. I don't care who team. is it all Cincinnati across the board? I think you're going to hate me.

1:33:42Danny Heifetz:I have the Niners. I have the Niners, too. With the Bengals, you have to use your first three picks to get the... You have Chase, and then you have to get Chase Brown and then T. Higgins.

1:33:49Bill Simmons:So you'd want Pearsall and Jennings and wait six weeks on IU? I would take...

1:33:55Danny Heifetz:Kittle, Pearsall, Jennings, McCaffrey, Purdy. I think they're all good values. I'm confused by you having the Bengals. I feel like you make fun of people who spend all their money on four players, but you literally, to get Burrow, T. Higgins, Jamar Chase, and Chase Brown, you'd have to spend a lot of money.

1:34:07Bill Simmons:Everyone on that offense, I don't care who team. So that means I get Burrow, Chase Brown, Higgins, or Jamar Chase. That's like your— Jamar Chase.

1:34:14Danny Heifetz:That's a pretty penny.

1:34:16Bill Simmons:Even if I get one of them, I'm happy. Oh, okay. Yeah, no, I mean— I'd love to have Chase Brown on my team. Yeah. I wouldn't really be excited for the Gusecki. No. No, you take him as a handcuff. He's a handcuff.

1:34:28Danny Heifetz:I have Sabas, whatever his name was. The Bengals are good. I think the difference is the Niners are cheaper because you get McAfee in the first round. Ricky Pearsall, Jordan Jennings.

1:34:34Bill Simmons:If you want to go super duper cheap, How about can I offer you Drake May, Stephon Diggs, Trae Van Henderson, and Efton Chisholm Jr.?

1:34:40Danny Heifetz:I will just say this about, while you're talking about the fucking Patriots, I will just say this. You guys better be better under Vrabel. Because if you're not, all your shit about Herbert can't win. Drake May currently has won one game as a starter. He has one win. So they better win some goddamn games. He played 10 games. And he went one and nine. And I'm just saying, you better actually be good.

1:34:59Bill Simmons:Instead of defending this, I'll ask you, what do you think Gerard Mayo is doing this year for a job. It's a great question. What is he doing? What is he doing?

1:35:08Danny Heifetz:I'm going to look it up. Do you realize how bad their offensive line was last year? It was like, please don't just get Drake May killed. And yeah, Drake May has it. I think that they will, I think they could make the playoffs. I just, if they don't, it will be funny. I'm going to, because Drake May is going to be Herbert.

1:35:22Bill Simmons:Nate Tice to come through a wall right now and start strangling. Oh yeah. Nate Tice knows Justin Herbert. Nate Tice knows. Cincy, any other, so you would say Dallas, even like you'd roll the dice for the running back? No, I wouldn't want the running backs anymore. Okay. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Ask 10 football fans what to do on 4th down, you'll get 10 opinions. And somehow every fan watching from their couch is absolutely certain they would have made the right call. That's because every situation is different and State Farm believes insurance should be too. You get to know your needs and help you with personalized coverage.

1:35:54Bill Simmons:Create a personal price plan to help fit your life and budget today. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This episode is brought to you by ChatGBT. Imagine you're running a professional sports team. Nice. Imagine the player contract report is due today. Not so nice. You've got performance notes from the coaching staff. You got a salary spreadsheet from your analyst. Three rounds of back and forth emails with the agent. And all of it is scattered absolutely everywhere. Well, that's where chat GBT work comes in. It's a new way to use chat GBT for bigger multi-step projects. Give chat GBT work access to your apps and files and can create real work documents.

1:36:33Bill Simmons:For instance, spreadsheets, slides, structured reports. You can bring all those to your next meeting and when you don't need answers, you need help just getting the work across the finish line. Chat GPT work can move your projects forward while you stay in control. Put Chat GPT to work on your most ambitious ideas and projects. Get started. Just go to chatgpt.com by selecting work mode available on plus and pro plans. DK who's your my year two early fuck it guy so there's obviously we talked to Buka I think he would be like my top choice I talked to Ted McMillan I went a little further down the board here and I for some reason I'm just really excited about Colston Loveland the tight end for the Bears I just think and I really like Tyler Warren too actually the Colston tight end but I just feel like they drafted him with a very specific role in mind his ability to do things over the middle field, stretch the seams, run after the catch.

1:37:34There's teams that were looking at him. I heard this from Dane Brugler. Teams were looking at him as a receiver before the draft. Some teams were kind of evaluating him through that lens. He's a really big, smooth, huge catch radius. I just think he's going to be a huge part of this offense. And obviously, there's other weapons in that offense. DJ Moore is still there. Roman Dunze is still there. But I just, I think like four weeks down the line, if he's, you know, top two on that team and receiving, it won't be a big surprise to me. And like the way that Caleb Williams looked in his last preseason game, hitting his, getting the ball out, hitting his back foot on time, in rhythm.

1:38:09And I just think that's going to be Colson Lovell over the middle of the field. Okay. Yeah. I'm going to stay with the Bears. I think Luther Burden, like, that's a good one. One of the best names ever. He might just, like, in my head, he's just like Antonio Brown waiting to happen on the field. but I'm not convinced anybody likes DJ Moore I'm not convinced Roma Dunze is good and I kind of Ben Johnson wanted Luther Burden drafted Luther Burden and he's already popped a few times in preseason and if he plays in the slot Ben Johnson's slot receivers he had Jarvis Landry when he was in Miami who caught like 100 passes a year and then obviously Amon Ross St.

1:38:43Brown I just think eye test wise Luther Burden who had a weird year his final year in college it was like injury stuff he wasn't that good the year before he was like the best wide receiver in college football it would have been a top 10 player

1:38:53Bill Simmons:Isn't there some work ethic questions with him?

1:38:55Danny Heifetz:Yes. Well, I think our joke during the draft show was that all the teams were looking at Luther Byrne and being like, oh man, five-star, crazy talent, crazy speed, might be a headache. Ben Johnson, who's just dealt with James Williams for three years, is like, oh, I'll be fine. Yeah. Give me that any day of the week. I just think he's awesome. He has his number 87, though, which is tough. Well, that's because they're too young to remember when receivers wore that, so they're bringing it back because they think it's new. It just looks like a tight end. It looks... Yeah.

1:39:20Bill Simmons:DK mentioned my guy. Who? Tyler Warren. Oh, I have Tyler Warren too. I waffle between the two of those. All right, let's do the Tyler Warren thing. So they picked Danny Dimes as their QB. I checked around with Giants fans. I didn't need to ask Heifetz because I already knew, but I talked to a couple other Giants fans in my life. And they were just like, because I was like, I just want to make sure the Colts as an AFC South team. It's not going to happen. Yeah, I was like, just how bad was Dimes last year? It just sounded really bad. Like the chasm from 22 dimes, which wasn't exactly Joe Montana, but he was like 15 TDs, five interceptions.

1:39:59Bill Simmons:He ran for 700 yards. That guy was like miles better than last year dimes who lost his job to Tommy DeVito.

1:40:05Danny Heifetz:Only no one said anything nice about Daniel Jones while he was alive. Only when they cut him and he wasn't playing every week where people like, oh, he can play. I'm a Giants fan. I never heard one nice thing from anybody for four years about that guy.

1:40:16Bill Simmons:I mean Richardson has to be so bad for them to be like yes they're just basically giving up on him screen passes so I picture the one thing they do have is a good offensive line right? the Colts it's okay it's above average right and they have a running game and there's going to be play action and throw it to Tyler Warren because they have this whole deep passing offense that he's not going to be able to execute because he can't throw deep

1:40:43Danny Heifetz:no but you know what he can do? throw Tyler Warren Yeah, it's tunnel screens to Tyler Warren. I'm in on Tyler Warren. I think he's this year's kind of discount powers. I totally agree. People think Tyler Warren can block because he has long hair. And Jeremy Shockey and George Kittle have long hair. And he can't block. He's a receiver. Tyler Warren had the, he was the only player in the Power Five Conference last year in college football to have 100 catches. Like he's a receiver. He had tied the most catches in a game of any tight end ever in the history of college football. Like he's a crazy good receiver.

1:41:10Danny Heifetz:And again, to your point, Daniel Jones, I mean, Dable, the shoestring and bubblegum, that giant season that made the playoffs that screwed up the whole team. It was so much tight ends to guys that didn't have talent, but I totally agree. I just... I also thought he should have gone

1:41:23Bill Simmons:first as the tight end. I know you like Loveland, but it's kind of crazy that he fell to 14. I remember looking at him for the Pats before. The second when you watched him

1:41:31Danny Heifetz:in preseason, you were like, oh. Yeah. And the other thing, too, is that the Colts, every team has something like this or a lot of teams do, where they haven't been able to fill a tight end for 10 years. Yeah, they've been platooning that forever. It's kind of like, you know, maybe you didn't necessarily

1:41:45Bill Simmons:makes sense I can see him in the uniform I can see him having big games there's no other real alpha let's speed through the rest of these because we took way too long we'll just go rapid fire missionary position we've all had him this is getting boring it's not even exciting to see him in the lineup anymore for me it's Kelsey that's a good one it's just like alright Kelsey did the thing where he had one catch for 10 yards and there's a red flag next to him should I start him next oh now he has 7 catches for 90 again is there anybody else you would have? Aaron Jones. I think he's a good player still, but he was banged up pretty much all last year.

1:42:23He's getting older.

1:42:24Danny Heifetz:Let's talk about platooning him. Yep. I have Alvin Kamara. You're going to turn him on and watch him, and then you're going to watch Spencer Rattler, a quarterback. He's going to catch a pass on a bubble screen or whatever and just gain one yard. Yeah, just be a free and out machine. He's there in the way to see him. Jared Goff does nothing for me anymore. I don't want Jared Goff on my team. That makes you feel dead inside. Yeah, he can't move. I know he's good.

1:42:49Bill Simmons:I fell for the preseason hype. That guy. I had Gentry just because the hype is like, no, no, actually, you should pay 50-plus dollars for him. They're going to use him all the time. I've mentioned Hunter before, but those two, I think, we didn't really talk about Gentry, but it just seems like he's going to have the ball all the time. He wants the ball. P. Carl's going to give him the ball. And then the only other one I had there was Mahomes, just the Mahomes comeback better weapons. There's not another Hall of Fame quarterback whose hype you bought? Maybe in the East Coast? Well, I mean his. What do you mean?

1:43:27Maybe in Pittsburgh.

1:43:30Bill Simmons:Didn't buy that one. Aaron Rodgers? Any other preseason hype guys you were? So I was I couldn't remember exactly how to define this category whether it's like I fell for it I think that's part of the point and some of these categories are confusing intentionally. They're all Apex Mountain. And so I put George Pickens because I have fallen for the preseason hype with Pickens, and I don't know how it's going to go. I think Occam's Razor is probably – he's going to be off the team in week seven or whatever. But, like, I think he could also have 1 ,200 yards. You haven't – none of the Rodgers quotes?

1:44:06The teammates? I actually have the Rodgers. None of it? None of it?

1:44:10Bill Simmons:I have it blocked on my Google. Okay. There's a lot of good stuff about him.

1:44:14Danny Heifetz:So you should do your own research. That's the problem. I'm just saying. A lot of the young guys really like him. Good locker room guy. Not like a hostage situation. He's misunderstood. Yeah. Him and Tomlin, they really work. Craig walked in one day and was like, Will Howard said, can't wait to learn from him. And we were like, what the fuck do you think Will Howard's going to say? Why? Because he's a rookie? Yeah. You were like, yeah, they said nice things about him. I'm like, well, what are they going to do? This guy's a great. They're going out of their way to be truly effusive. You could be like, oh yeah, it's been great.

1:44:43Skylar Thompson is like, this guy is completely misunderstood. All the receivers, all the linemen. He seems like he's very well-liked right now. That's all I'll say. These aren't my quotes.

1:44:52Bill Simmons:I'm reading them. I don't know what plan B is for the conversation though. What do you mean? Like if we just added some new person and then somebody interviewed Danny Kelly and we're like, what do you think of the new producer, Johnny? Well, I don't know. Johnny's been great. Amazing. Amazing. Weird thoughts on the pyramids. Why aren't there quotes about how awesome Sam Donald is? Everybody loves Sam Darnold. All the players are talking about how great he is. Why isn't there that? Because Sam Darnold doesn't... I think there has been those quotes. You're not paying attention. I've been talking about that.

1:45:19Danny Heifetz:It's almost like Sam Darnold's focused on winning the season instead of just talking about who built the pyramids. He's too busy winning. He's not talking about that stuff right now. He's famous. People are interviewing him. He's not. I don't really know if there has been many Sam Darnold quotes. This is the first topic since we've done the show

1:45:34Bill Simmons:where younger Craig would punch current Craig in the face. Now, this is actually honestly a little sad. Oh, stop. No, it really is. You know what's funny? Sean came on our pod and was like, Craig, you have to have a take. You can't be apathetic about this. You can't say like, eh, they'll probably win eight games. Because your take for a long time was like, this is their best of many bad options. So if I have to pick a side, I'm going to be like, yeah, fuck yeah, we'll win 12 games.

1:45:55Danny Heifetz:December, Craig was like, I can't believe some team's going to talk themselves into Rodgers. I still maintain that this was the best thing they could have done in this situation this year. I don't know what the alternative was.

1:46:05Bill Simmons:I like when with Shio, anybody brings up Rodgers to him and he just like, it's like this switch goes up. I want him to be good so bad. No quarterback over 42 years old has ever played more than 10 Graves other than Tom Brady. Like he's just, she was the most out of anyone at the ringer, I think. He's 41. I love that. Is he going to be 42 during the season? Towards the end of it, yes. What were they going to do? Give Sam Darnold$100 million? I'm good. Hey, come on. What's with all the Sam Darnold game? What should they have done? I don't mean to open up the Shedora Can of Worms, but I don't understand.

1:46:38Bill Simmons:Yeah, you could have had Jackson Dart. Yeah, you could have had Jackson Dart. That actually had never occurred. Actually seems really good. Yeah, you're right. Right now, that dart looks okay. Sure. Looks okay. Hyphots has a jersey. Kenny Pickett looked really good. I like how you went from throwing dimes to throwing darts.

1:46:55Danny Heifetz:Dude, and also you have two emojis you can use because you can use the dart, but also you can use cigarettes, which are all-time emoji quarterback. And the job between DeVito with the thing, the Giants are cornering the market on the emoji quarterback.

1:47:06Bill Simmons:Schrager had the funniest trigger. Shrager monologue about dart about he has it. He has it. You can see it. He has it. He kind of does. He has a little bit of aura.

1:47:18Danny Heifetz:He's come a long way from that Gruden video where Gruden's like, show me your snap count. And he's like, cool. And he just claps.

1:47:23Bill Simmons:That's how I felt in our old studios when we had all the podcast interns and I met Craig. I was like, I told fantasy. Craig has it. He has it. I can see it. How do you start a podcast? I'm like. Actually, we do that. Yeah, he is. Line up the audio. Oh, this is, I think, my favorite category. I'd never root for an injury. I would root for one. It's Brees Hall. I want him to get hurt. God damn it, Craig. So Braylon Allen can get the football. Let me live. I'd never root for an injury, but he is one injury away guy. And we already talked about Brees Hall. Russell Wilson, wouldn't mind a pulled hammy so he can see dart?

1:48:01Bill Simmons:I know. Just saying. I had Ray Davis down here. there could be a really fun seven week Ray Davis stretch. We don't want anyone to get hurt. But if the James Cook like has a little pulled hammy or something and Ray Davis comes in and he's just awesome. Yeah, I could see that one. I have to just as a Pats fan put Ramondre Stevenson on this thing. I don't think he's going to get benched. I don't think you need more touches for that guy. How do you feel about Ramondre? I feel I still feel like he's a good running back. The fumbles are just out of control. I just can't handle the running backs that fumble.

1:48:38Bill Simmons:Just don't fumble. Hold on the ball.

1:48:40Danny Heifetz:Ramondra's an ex that in two years, he's not even going to remember the name. He's going to be like, who was there before? It's going to slip out of his memory.

1:48:46Bill Simmons:I don't know what the total number of running back fumbles, what the number is before you just completely lose confidence forever. But I'm there. He's close. Yeah. Yeah, it's like double digits in two years. Any other injury guys? Dude. Like just lingering? You mentioned the Eagles.

1:49:01Danny Heifetz:Well, I mentioned Will Shipley, who I do think is the most... probably the player who is the biggest ratio of how much people are talking about him, which is zero to the importance he could have in the season, which if Saquon, you know, again, second most touches in the 21st century, if Saquon gets hurt, you're like, damn, Will Shipley, is he going to be the starting running back for the Philadelphia Eagles? And then if you want to say, oh, maybe it's not him, it's A.J. Dillon, fine. I haven't heard anyone talk about A.J. Dillon for the Eagles, but even they split it, that's a crazy workload. The only other thing I'll say is I think Zach Charbonnet for the Seahawks.

1:49:29Danny Heifetz:Yeah. I don't even have to wish an injury on anyone. Ken Walker's just always hurt. he's the easiest person to see where if the Seahawks are good and it's what we think they'll be and they make the playoffs he's good this is awesome they're gonna run ice out and then Walker's hurt and you're like Charbonnet coming on Seahawks Island with us I am I am I am coming on Seahawks Island but I just think basically if Charbonnet is the easiest player to envision joining that like top four group of like oh it's McCaffrey Saquon Gibbs Bijan Zach Charbonnet was fifth in the second half of the season with yeah but it's if if Ken Walker's hurt man he's gonna to be so good in that system he has a fun running style he will go out of his way to truck you like yeah he's one of those guys who will be like i could go there or there and be open or i could just run right through that guy in in a good way in a bad way it's the trolley problem but he chooses more people he totally runs over all the children i do have a random football question

1:50:20Bill Simmons:though like everyone's talking about clinkubiak's like the zone blocking how good it is and grace abel's been amazing in his zone blocking scheme so why don't more people do zone blocking schemes Like, when did the Patriots do it last year? We had no fucking offensive linemen.

1:50:33Danny Heifetz:I can answer that. So the reason...

1:50:35Bill Simmons:Is it super hard to figure out?

1:50:37Danny Heifetz:It's hard to teach. It's detail-oriented. It's detail-oriented to teach. It's a simple system. When you understand it, players like it because they talk about feeling like a computer. Zero, one, C, hit. And so they feel like, I don't have to think. I can just execute. And so you become faster. So one, you need an organizational commitment to it because what you end up doing is basically...

1:50:57Bill Simmons:I didn't realize Heifetz would have

1:50:58Danny Heifetz:such a great answer for this.

1:50:59Bill Simmons:I was like going with a hypothetical. I'm just making all this up. You also have to have a quarterback who's willing to play under center.

1:51:04Danny Heifetz:Yeah, so you can't have Rodgers because you have to be able to do play action, turn your back to the defense. You can't have Rodgers doing the Ben Roethlisberger impression where everything's in shotgun. You can't do that. So you have to be under center, number one. Settle down. Well, I'm just saying, you also need an organizational commitment to faster linemen. The Niners line, I think when they started doing, and now it's more gap stuff too, but the Niners line was like the lightest line in the league. So you need a multi-year effort to draft. They've got right guys. But the whole point though, it sounds complicated.

1:51:28Danny Heifetz:it's just to make cornerbacks tackle the premise of this when they started doing this with the broncos mike shanahan his dad alex gibbs the whole point was well if you're gonna have all these dots and matt make the one one-on-one with the running back the worst tackler that's a cornerback so the whole point of wide zone or the slack cornerback yeah those guys well that's why those guys are the most important guys in modern defense right now are the most underrated because that's where the front yeah it's like the whole all of modern footballs right now is about the b gap which is a whole different conversation but the point to your question about why doesn't everyone just do it like why don't you build the plane of the black box it's hard to teach matt patricia tried to teach stuff and he's like it's not that easy so why sorry why can kubiak do it well his father fucking like invented it yeah like gibbs shanahan and gary kubiak it's like i invented the three out exactly but yeah so his dad like invented the thing i like it because it seems like it fucks

1:52:17Bill Simmons:teams up and gray zabel just seems like he's just a wrecking ball oh my god he's looked so good yeah A lot of guard talk. Could he be replacing Quentin Nelson as the guard? He might be. He's looked incredible in the preseason. I saw some stats. This is from Ian Harden. Guard talk. The Seahawks were like 30th in yards before contact for carry last year. And in the preseason, they're like fourth. The run game has really been clicking. I can't wait for Seahawks to throw a back-breaking pick six in the fourth in week one. And everyone's like, fuck, he's Sam Darnold again. Well, I think the other thing to add to what Heifetz said about the zone game, and Alex Gibbs said this back in the day is like, you don't do other stuff.

1:52:56You just, we're a zone team. And I think some teams like to be more multiple than that. And it is a way to kind of protect your quarterback and not make them have to throw a back break and pick six or whatever. But yeah, they're going to like run zone, bootleg, throw deep. It's going to be fun.

1:53:12Bill Simmons:The next category is my rookie Nitrous Oxide guy. I'm not even sure what that one was, but it was just so we could add Xavier Worthy. I didn't know what it was. I don't know. I just picked the fast rookie. Um, Thornton on Vegas, maybe? Oh, yeah. Deontay Thornton. Yeah. Thompson. Um, all right. Last category. Thornton. Who's seems like he's their number one receiver. I don't really understand. He's going to be Valdez Scantling.

1:53:33Danny Heifetz:He's going to just stand there and run fast. And yeah, but I like those guys. Watch the ball.

1:53:37Bill Simmons:By the way, great guy to have him madden. Thornton. Straight line guy. Sure. Are you playing Madden again? Um, depends if my son, I, I beat him and it drives him crazy. And then he throws a tantrum, even though he's 17 now. I only play if he wants to play. You never lose it once you have it. The remote. It's like riding a bike. I'm just kidding. Last category. I know this is good value right now, but I simply don't want to root for him, guy. It was Aaron Rodgers for me last year. I don't know why anyone would draft Aaron Rodgers this year. No, but he's not getting drafted. I'm going to put him in again.

1:54:13Bill Simmons:Aaron Rodgers? But the other person I want to put in is Brees Hall. Hell yeah. God. Because he helps with the Braylon Allen stock. Breeze Hall really hurt my feelings last year. Him and Trevor Lawrence just ran a tag team on me. I'm back in on Breeze. The feelings hurt. I'm zagging. I'm all in on Breeze.

1:54:34Danny Heifetz:He's going twice like a conspiracy theory. I feel like you don't even think he's that good. You're just upset at how much we think he sucks. Yes, correct. He's your Jalen Waddle. Yeah. He doesn't even hit the right holes in preseason. Shut up. Of course he does. He's really good. He's a good player. I'm with you on Rodgers. I don't want Rodgers. We're talking about fantasy football. Who's drafting Aaron Rodgers in fantasy? No, but the Steelers. You know why? My issue with Metcalf, Caleb Johnson, all these guys, it's the Roethlisberger Steelers again. So it's like a good value. I don't want to root for him.

1:55:04Danny Heifetz:I don't want to watch Rodgers because off the field he's annoying. But on the field, we saw this thing with Rodgers. What he's doing now, it's the old Roethlisberger. He doesn't want to get hit. So everything's shotgun. And it ruins the offense. They can't run the ball because the shotgun does everything. Everything's worse. Why am I getting attacked right now? Doesn't want to get hit at all. All right. The name of this category. It's hard to watch. The name of this category is, I know this is good value. So you're saying, you know, the Steelers are good value. Oh, that's a good point. I don't know.

1:55:30Danny Heifetz:Why are we talking about this? I just wanted to mention them anyway. I was like, I'm trying to make you back into complimenting the Steelers. I'm like, it's technically says, I know this is good value. So mine is the Saints wide receivers who, in theory, are being drafted super late. Chris Olave is good. Rashid Shahid is good. But I'm like, I just, I just, if it's Monday Night Football and it's like Saints Chargers and I need 20 points out of Chris Olave and I'm watching Tyler Shuck and Spencer Rattler, I just can't do any of that.

1:55:59Bill Simmons:He's a D &D guy for me, Chris Olave. He's hard to make concussions. At some point it's not, it's stupid. If anyone's going to be throwing hospital balls, it's Tyler Shuck and Rattler. Jesus. All right, this was fun.

1:56:11Danny Heifetz:Did we do 30 categories and not mention our favorite sleepers of the year? oh yeah that was our last thing who's your favorite sleeper i had him for nitro socks i just want to mention i just want to mention matthew golden for the backers and i just i'm a huge fan of him and i think that he there's overlapping reasons why he's fallen through the cracks but frankly in a nutshell most really fast guys don't have any touch or feel like they're like taekwondo thornton's they're track runners but matthew golden to me he has tempo he has feel he has really good hands a lot of these fast guys can't catch for shit you got to be like a deshaun Jackson like you know he's got the center fielder I just think Matthew Golden has a lot of juice frankly but also feel but then you go to the Packers and I just think people think he's gonna be a rotational player I'm like yeah he's gonna play for them like all the time to receiver sets three receiver sets I I am I he's one of my favorite players to get who's your sleeper Brees Hall you see really your sleeper grow up come up Peter Pan Brees all ranked ahead of Jalen Hurts anyway Ricky Pearsall I like I think that one makes a lot of sense is he even a sleeper

1:57:13Bill Simmons:I feel like he's awake and having coffee you want me to pick someone like way way down the list I feel like people think he's their number one receiver yeah but he's still not even drafted highly he's been shot in a year like he's got to be healthy from that right that was unbelievable that he played after he got shot he was lucky to survive he was shot in the chest he was lucky to survive I'll give you a different one Damien Pierce running back for the Texans because under the category of somebody on this team has to get 1 ,000 yards and 10 touchdowns. And he also has a 1 ,000-yard season on his resume.

1:57:42I thought he was really good coming out of Florida. He just wasn't a good fit for the wide zone scheme that they ran last year. Basically, he just was a forgotten man. And I think now they're switching to more gap stuff, a little bit better for him. And it sounds like Mixon is not back anytime soon. So I'll throw that out there. Who's yours? I think it's Tank Bigsby, the running back on Jacksonville.

1:58:01Bill Simmons:I like him. Yeah, I think what Liam Cohen did for Bucky Irving in Tampa, I think Liam Cohen could do for tank in Jacksonville. I think he's much more similar to Bucky Irving. What Liam Cohen did to the Bucs running game last year was pretty incredible. And Bucky Irving, his whole thing is yards after contact. He was the best in the league last year at it. Number two is tank. So I kind of think they have similar profiles. I have from the College of Holy Cross, but that's not why I'm taking him. I'm a Carolina Panthers, Jalen Coker. You're Coked? He's great. So I was really invested in him because he was a Holy Cross guy who was actually like doing stuff.

1:58:36Bill Simmons:Like it's not like we have a lot of football players. He's good. He is good.

1:58:39Danny Heifetz:He was significantly longer career than Xavier Leggett

1:58:42Bill Simmons:who they took in the first round. He was making big plays for them. He was open. Bryce Young trusted him. Yeah. And now I think people just think it's going to be a Ted McMillan's team. And I wouldn't be surprised if he had the most receiving yards on the Panthers. That's a good one. I think the Panthers just kind of have like a nice cast of guys now. Everybody does a thing. Like I think Leggett as a number two makes way more sense. McMillan is like your classic number one who can get a ton of targets. Coker's like the speedy guy doing it. But I just think they kind of are filling out a nice...

1:59:10Bill Simmons:Chuba Hubbard. Yeah, Chuba Hubbard's good. RB4. The offensive line's not bad. Year two with Dave Canales. Yeah, and I was too harsh on Bryce because I did think he had some good moments. I just thought it was notable that Richardson's just out of football now. But they're not the same. I know they're not the same.

1:59:26Danny Heifetz:Richardson's...

1:59:26Bill Simmons:At least Bryce's arrow is pointing up. Quite literally.

1:59:29Danny Heifetz:Anthony Richardson's completion percentage is lower than Shaq's free throw rate. Yeah, I think it's just like The difference is you can, as a coach, you can trust this guy to run the offense you want to run more. That's why they want Daniel Jones. It's like, I just trust this guy to run the offense. What did we call Richardson Ed 209? Right. From RoboCup. He can't go down the stairs. He can't get in a car. He literally can't go downstairs.

2:00:01Bill Simmons:Brace had moments, but man, he seems so small in some of these games. That's the thing you can't like when you're watching all the TVs and you see the different quarterbacks and then you see him and he just seems. Well, that's why they got a McMillan. He's so tall. I can see him. Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys, this is great. When's our big draft? Monday. One o 'clock. It's going to be on the Ringer Fantasy Football YouTube channel. One o 'clock Pacific time. It's a lot of Ringer people that people recognize. Yeah. We're all going head to head. There's going to be punishments that we talked about on your podcast.

2:00:31Bill Simmons:I think my favorite, what was the one I came up with? The tweet one? Rage bait. Rage bait. Rage bait. Go listen to that if you want to know what that is. Go listen to that. I had the punishment idea of one tweet each week, Tuesday at 1 o 'clock. Written by everyone else. Almost like the Colin, Joe, Michael Che thing where you're writing the weekend update joke for somebody else. And it's just like a tweet that will make people mad. The funniest thing is that it would be the worst for you because you have like 5 million followers. Yeah. You have the most to lose. Yeah, I do. It probably is. He didn't think it occurred and he would lose until just now.

2:01:01Yeah, but he also enjoys tweeting rage bait stuff more.

2:01:04Bill Simmons:I'm not going to finish last, though. I want to ask you... Because Van Lathan's in the week. He's going to finish last. What pick do you want? We're doing Snake. There's 10 teams. What's your ideal pick? Because we're going to do a trivia question to determine the pick. Oh, interesting. I usually like being near the back so you can get basically like three, four of the top like 32, 33 range. I think this is a good year actually to be towards the back of the draft. Yeah. Because I don't, I wouldn't be psyched about any of those running backs. We didn't even talk about Bijan, but like, I don't know.

2:01:37Bill Simmons:Bijan's good, but I don't want to spend$60 on him in a fantasy league. you're probably going to want to do that do I have it?

2:01:48Danny Heifetz:this is great you can have it do I have to? you don't have to do anything he's like yeah he's going to blow your fucking mind for how good he is he's not that famous he doesn't have that Saquon electricity where everyone wants to play him in Madden he's like the biggest freak I've ever seen even though he is but he doesn't really have that. I think it's a combo with the Falcons and then also it's weird that he wants to be an actor but I will say Saquon himself said like a month ago that the best player at making people miss the NFL is B. John Robinson.

2:02:22Bill Simmons:Yeah, I mean he's so I'm looking at my future and it's going to be a future of starting running backs. Travion Henderson, Braylon Allen and Kenneth Walker some sort of running back platoon and everyone will have a flag next to them at some point and I'll wonder why I didn't spend more money A little RJ Harvey are you in on him? I am. A little bit in on him. we don't talk about the broncos at all yeah that's surprising unfortunately with the broncos like a month ago it was like cool to be like i actually think the broncos could i know now everybody's i'm so i have so much money in them too it's like and now they're the sexy yeah

2:02:52Danny Heifetz:contenders i can't wait for him to spend 22 bucks on braylon allen in this draft and then we're going to be tweeting from his his profile just like the yahoo draft though that's the booger

2:03:01Bill Simmons:i'll just take him in like the eighth round yeah well yeah right after i take no punishment yeah which yeah if you don't know what we're talking about you'll have to go listen yeah listen alright thank you guys good to see you thank you Bill thanks to Gahau and Eduardo as well and I'm gonna be back on Sunday with a brand new pod and then episode 399 of the rewatchables Witness you weren't there for that one no I actually haven't watched it yet but I will watch it I think you really would have liked it I can't believe I haven't seen it for how much I love Harrison Ford it's like an incredible Harrison Ford movie anyway Mallory it was just the two of us and I can't imagine lines were crossed I assume In case you're wondering They were Good to see you guys though Thank you

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