Career Reinvention, Personal Growth & Purpose-Driven Success with Terri Trespicio

22:40Terri Trespicio:You'll go after the best one and then land them and be so excited. And then be like, what do I do with this? What do I do with this guy now? I don't know. Did you get the egg? I was always afraid that they would like me back. As soon as they liked me back, I was like, you're a piece of shit. I'm out. I'm out. I bet looking back on your life, you're like so much clarity, right? All these moments. Yeah. Yes. I have a podcast I just launched with my sisters and we read our journals from high school and junior high. Oh. From the 80s. I'm tuning in right now. This is amazing. It's called Generation Art Text.

23:14Terri Trespicio:You guys watched The NeverEnding Story. Do you remember that movie? Yes, I loved it. I remember it. Yeah. It was so good. I'm sorry. Do you remember the horse that drowns in the swamps of sadness? Yes. His name is Artex. That's what we named it after. What's the name they shout out? The Generation Artex, A-R-T-A-X. It's Generation Artex with a Gen X, you see? And so it's really because that is the most Gen X, that was a real trauma for people watching movies when we were, you know, in the 80s. And so anyway, that's the name of it. But the beginning of it was my my sisters and I all kept journals.

23:52Terri Trespicio:And so we've been reading like journals. Here's something from 1982. Here's something from 1993. And it is mortifying. And every page I'm like, this guy is giving me the ick. This guy makes me queasy. I don't know. This guy likes me, but he's gross. Like I was clearly like, what? But when I allowed myself to do it, but to your point, you were just saying, there's a lot of women who are in relationships who shouldn't be. It doesn't mean they're gay. Maybe it means they want to explore and we're in a world of exploring. So I encourage everyone to try it. I tell you, and I will say this right now, and I will put my money where my mouth is, if we had 100 people listening and I said, you're all going to date women for like six weeks and you're going to find your ideal lesbian, you're going to date them for six weeks.

24:35Terri Trespicio:I say, you're lucky if half go back. What? Serious? Seriously? I don't think you choose to be gay. Yeah. I was probably gay. Like I had, this was not my identity. I always had, even my mother was like, you always had a boyfriend. I don't understand. I was like, it doesn't matter what you have a boyfriend. Anyone can get a boyfriend. I'm like, that's not what makes you gay. I was probably always gay, obviously, but I chose a straight life because that's what I was conditioned to do. And I could have kept choosing it. And I could have, I could have dumped that boyfriend, got another boyfriend, got another boyfriend, and just lived in a kind of slow, low simmer of boredom and resentment.

25:13Terri Trespicio:And instead, I will tell you right effing now, I'm having the best sex of my life. I recommend women to anyone who will listen. And I'm seeing a lot of it. You've seen it, the story about, is it embarrassing to have a boyfriend now? People are not posting their boyfriends on their Instagram because they're like, well, they always embarrass me. Or what if we break up? I don't want him on there. It's sort of like, not that people don't love men, because that's how you know sexuality is not a choice, because some people do. But honestly, if you had a hundred women, that is my fantasy is I want to have like a reality dating show where I make everyone date women for six weeks.

25:48Terri Trespicio:And because if you found a woman who's a masculine woman, which is what I love, you're beautiful women. I'm sorry. You're not my type, right? The woman who you had on to talk about the bunions though, super hot. But my point is, so cute. She is cute. Yeah. So cute. But my point is you can find masculine women and I see them on TikTok and they're like, Hey, you know what? I'll take you out to dinner. I'll also take you shopping. We'll get our nails done. We're going to read together and we will do our hair. Like there's so much you get. It's all the things you think are true. It's not easier. Hell no, it's not easier.

26:27Terri Trespicio:But the idea that I can finally like hang out with a woman that I'm into and we can also be friends. And I know when I go, when I'm dating, I'm not going to get raped and murdered. Probably, maybe, probably not. This is amazing. So, okay. Then you said that you had some women were, were, were not nice. Are you saying that that was people that you knew or people, women in the gay community? Sorry, clarification. Everyone in my life was so nice and wonderful and supportive that I joke that I actually wish it had been a bigger deal. Like I called my friend Jen from high school and was like, Jen, I have something to tell you.

27:02Terri Trespicio:I'm gay. And she goes, yeah, I saw that on Instagram. What else is going on? I think it's great, but like, what else is going on? Like it was not headline news. It was not. It was almost like coming. I make a joke that when I came out to my friends, it was as if I showed up with bangs. They're like, huh, weren't expecting that. But as long as you like them. But the people who are a little bitchy are some lesbians who are gatekeepy. And that is my most watched TikTok was about like, can we talk about lesbian gatekeeping? Because there's a whole class and caste system that people who have been lifelong lesbians - You don't fit the mold.

27:43Terri Trespicio:No, but not just that. I mean, I'm fairly femme, right? But oh, look who just showed up at the party. We suffered our whole lives and we were made fun of and we were - No, I get it. They've been through it. I did not. I was straight, straight passing. I'm still straight passing. I'm trying to be gay. I'm trying to let people know. But the problem is women are competitive. They are jealous, like any humans. And some women sort of like, I went on a date with a woman. I was like, well, and she goes, when did you come out? I don't volunteer this information, by the way. Find out. You'll never guess that I just came out.

28:17Terri Trespicio:I've done the homework. But they'll say, like, when did you come out? I'd be like, oh, not that long ago. Well, when? 2024, you know? And they're like, oh. And they give you that like, oh, you're new. And I was like, listen. And one woman I went on a date with, she had just gotten divorced from a woman she'd been with for 20 years. And I just came out. She's new to dating. I'm not new to dating. So she was sort of like, well, she was kind of, I don't know what the kids are doing these days. And I was like, first of all, ew. And second of all, she goes, you're kind of new. And I go, I'm not new to dating.

28:54Terri Trespicio:As far as I'm concerned, we're in the same boat because she didn't know how to date. And I already knew how to date. I've been dating up a storm. So that kind of, that's not common though. Most women, most lesbians that I've met are like, oh my God, yes, please. Thank you. This is wonderful. So I felt nothing but welcome. But just, you know, also from women I broke up with who were like, well, whatever, you're new. like you know what about if you had struggled with it your whole life like would they have a different narrative or take or take on you maybe i could lie i'd be like yeah it was really hard but come on uh no yeah i think that first of all i think there's a lot of mental illness everywhere and also a lot of mental illness in the queer community because there's been such abuse and abandonment and a lot of these women have been through it and i've had experiences people i was like, wow, this is wild.

29:44But even though it's wild, it's still better than dating men, as far

29:47Terri Trespicio:as I'm concerned. Okay. Well, if we move on to your second TED Talk, it's about time we rethink happily ever after. I mean, this fits right in. And where do we go with this? That TED Talk, I'm convinced didn't do as well because the title wasn't good. They titled it something that had to do at their event, which no one remembers. And it is really about that. The seed of that talk, and by the way, how I got that second talk was someone saw the first talk and they said, hey, we're doing a TEDx event. Would you come do a talk here? I was like, well, what am I going to do? Play the hits? I already did that talk.

30:22Terri Trespicio:They're like, no, write a new one. I was like, oh my God, everybody's giving me homework. Okay. And so I thought about what opinion bugged me. And what bothers me always, since I've been single my whole life, is when people go, oh yeah, I'm still single or, oh, you're single again, or, oh yeah, it never works out. The assumption that because, oh boy, there's a cat. Get down. Oh, the cat's been there the whole time. We're like, we're vibing with the cat. Yeah. They've been there the whole time. Listen, I have male cats. They try to steal. They're trying to take space. That talk is basically, the point is there's nothing wrong with you because you're single that again is a kind of patriarchal vibe it's you're damaged goods no one wants you and you should be afraid so that you're grateful when someone does that's all set up to make you oh god i need someone i need someone i'm not worth anything and the guy said to me that that talk starts with the guy saying oh you're single and you seem smart and you seem what's wrong with you what's wrong with you he said.

31:26Terri Trespicio:And I said, there's literally nothing wrong with me. How old were you? What's wrong with you? I was 40s. I was early 40s. And they're like, why aren't you married? Why aren't you? I was like, because I don't want to be. Even my boyfriend at the time said, you know, it's hard for me to believe. I can't wrap my brain around why you're single. I said, do you think I'm a catch? Do you think I'm like a catch? And he goes, yes. I said, so why would you think I'd be so willing to go with anyone? Why wouldn't you assume I was really picky? Because I am. It is a strange belief. It is. That, think about it for a second.

32:00Terri Trespicio:Like, really, I wanted to change your thinking about this, especially people listening who feel bad or embarrassed or defensive about their singleness. You are born single. You are single until you choose to live with or spend time with someone. And our culture is structured around the belief that having a married couple is the basis for everything and must be. That's just this culture. It's not all cultures. But what happens if you're not in a relationship or you had one before? oh, what happened to that guy you had here Thanksgiving last year? Oh, it didn't work out. Why? Well, he was a douche.

32:31Terri Trespicio:Couldn't you make it work? Well, no, I don't want to make it work. Like this idea that you should be long-suffering and stay. And my takeaway from that or my response to that is the only difference between someone who's single and someone who's not defined as single is if you die while you're still in your relationship. If you do not survive your relationship, I guess you're happily married. I don't know. All I know is you died while you were in it. That's the only difference here. Because if I die single, oh, she died single while she had a boyfriend. It didn't work out. What? Yeah. Why are you less than if you're single?

33:07Right?

33:07Terri Trespicio:I would like to survive everything. I've survived bad friendships. I've survived jobs. I survived men, which is no small thing. And I have survived relationships. My hope is that you do survive. And by the way, this is not, I do not get a get out of jail free card with lesbians because they also are like, well, isn't this forever? isn't this we're gonna be like the right end like to forever and I was like I mean I don't know I but I don't treat people casually I'm not like well no you're casual that's rude yeah so I never say that I go no we're in this and we're gonna experience it if it doesn't work out doesn't work out and one girlfriend said I just worry that like if we break up you're just gonna be you'll be just fine and I said and I hope you'll be fine I'm 50 years old I lived my whole life without you, why now would it be that I can't live without you?

33:54Terri Trespicio:That would, something's wrong with me then. Can you ever get this talk in Utah? Because when you're not 21 and married, you're an old maid that no one wants. No. And I see so many women on TikTok who are like 80, 90. They're like, girls, don't, don't get married. Or if you do be happy when it ends, because your life starts. But that's something that you guys talk about a lot. Like midlife is when some changes happen. And yes, some relationships peter out and it's a painful end. And I don't take that lightly either. But this idea that I'm over and I'm done because no man wants me, really ask yourself that.

34:31Terri Trespicio:Is that a reality? It's not. It's not. But until we see it that way, we're going to think, well, I don't know who would want me. Who would want you? Go on the apps. You could have a date every night if you wanted. Yeah, but you're going to have to lower some standards. But like, you know, you could do it if you wanted. Like, yeah, the ability to catch and keep is like, listen, I'm in the catch and release program. If it's not working, it's going bad. Yeah, I like it. It's an interesting concept that it's opening up the conversation than the traditional. I love it. I love. And that's kind of what went into your your TED talk.

35:13That's what it was about.

35:14Terri Trespicio:That's what that was about. It was sort of like, can we just think about this as surviving and learning something? First of all, I don't regret any of the relationships I had. Every relationship, I learned something. I learned a shortcoming of mine. I learned to address it. I learned about what I like and what I don't like. And you learn each time. No shade on people who are with their high school partner. Fine. That you are a rarity, fine you're in a different category there but if you date and date and date you're not a whore you are learning who you are dating is to learn about yourself as much as anyone else and because i'm a new game i've been out for almost two years i dated so much to make a head spin because i need to know who am i in this world what am i like what do i like and what is it like like and i go in with total respect, authenticity, clarity.

36:13Terri Trespicio:I don't want there to be any confusion. And I am really clear about those boundaries. I think there is nothing more important for a woman as she gets older as to shore up those boundaries. And then everything else you can make, you can allow for, you can accommodate, but your default cannot be accommodation. That's been my whole life. Well, I know. I know, but most women, it has been. That's okay. You serve, not just me and you, but women have served, they've put all their talent and energy into serving other people, which was their choice, a wonderful choice. You raised humans who are going to go off into the world.

36:48Terri Trespicio:You had a wonderful relationship and then it ended for whatever reason. Now what? Now, because you talked about, you were asking, let's talk about rest and what it means. I don't like rest because it sounds like rest in peace. We're not there yet. But you now have all of this energy. You have all of this energy that you've just now freed up because your kids are older. They do not need you every second. You're maybe, who knows what's going on with your job, your partner, or maybe you don't have a partner. What are you going to do with all that energy? You're certainly not going to just sit home and use a callus remover tool, though I have one and it's such a pleasure to use.

37:25Terri Trespicio:But I'm telling you, every night you can't be home doing your feed and taking care of stuff. That's fine. Self-care should have a box that is protected, and that's one part of it. But the rest of it is, where will you go with that energy, and why would you stop using it? There's a reason why the world hates middle-aged women. It's because that's when they don't give shit. They are now ready to not care. And so what do they do? Vilify. Oh, you're over the hill. No one listens to you. Every midlife, and we'll say the crone age when I say that in a positive way, is a wiser, older woman. They know shit and they know your shit and they are not taking your shit.

38:06Terri Trespicio:And they are terrifying. Men are very afraid of them. And that is why they hate them. That's why. Why do you think, well, I don't know, our administration does not love cat ladies? Because these women are going to make their own decisions. And in a matter of five minutes, they're about to inherit and have a lot of the money in this country. What are we going to do with all of that energy and all of that money? You sure as shit are not going to just sit home and binge TV shows. You're going to meet people. You're going to date. You're going to have the best sex of your life. You're going to have better sex.

38:37Terri Trespicio:Even the, okay, you don't look like you do when you were, uh, you don't look like you did in 1992. Who cares? Guess who doesn't care? The person you're in bed with, I can vouch for this. They do not give a shit. They, they want you. They love you. And to feel desired in that way, I'm telling you, it's the best. Life is good after 40, the best after 50. What advice would you give to anyone listening who is feeling inspired by what you're saying, but has been afraid of disrupting the story that they've built? How do they tap into the power and find what's true for them and make that change? Be around women who do.

39:20Terri Trespicio:If your friends like to sit around and complain and say they can't do stuff and say, this is hard now and my back aches and I can't because this and I can't because that. You need new friends and you do and you can meet new people. Do not hang around with people who make you kind of hate yourself a little bit or feel stuck. You know, who you spend time with. I mean, that's why I've devoted my whole like I was a consultant for years, but now my whole life is building this community of people. We are taking our stories and our memories to the page. I'm a writer and I don't teach people to write.

39:53Terri Trespicio:I free people's stories up. And you know who's in those classrooms? You know who's on those Zoom calls? Middle-aged women. Because they're like, guess what, bitches? I got something to say. And I'm tired of being quiet. So here's what I say to people who are like, but I can't because this. You can keep doing what you're doing. No one said you had to change your life. Not one person, not me, not you guys. you can keep doing what you're doing. How mad are you going to be if you're like, well, it's too late. All right, but you're not dead yet. How mad are you going to be if you just continue to serve and accommodate and put everyone else first?

40:30Terri Trespicio:You'll do that till you die. Like they say, when you die, you'll have things on your to-do list you didn't get to. I am not interested in having things I didn't get to do because of that. So you have to ask yourself, who am I spending time with? Have I written down how I feel? I'm journaling more than I ever have in many, many years because I know when I write, I think it makes me think in a new way. And I would say, write, keep a journal. You don't have to tell anyone about it. Challenge the ideas you have. Write down. Here's what I think my limit is. I'm not, I can't do this because someone will be mad.

41:05Terri Trespicio:Someone will be mad at me. Listen, I'm afraid when people are mad at me too, but at some point I go, I'm sorry, you're not going to live my life. I have to. So I'm going to live with the boundaries I've set. And I have friends who's had very clear boundaries with me. I have friends I do business with and they'll be like, well, this is our deal. And this is like, respect it. If you don't keep boundaries, who's going to trust you? You don't have any boundaries. I get real nervous when people have boundaries. They're loosey goosey, make me nervous. Yeah. That's true though. You don't have to be angry and belligerent, but you can kind of speak up and decide what you want.

41:41Terri Trespicio:And if you don't feel like having sex, but you don't want to break up with your partner, then you say, you know what? I'm not feeling it. Open up your relationship. The rules you were raised with, especially us, because we are Gen X, are we not? Yes. Yeah. The rules we were raised with, I hate to tell you, it is a lie. And it's not something you have to live by anymore. And you don't get points for clinging to things you did right before. no one's giving out trophies for who was the good girl not anymore i'm obsessed that was the mic drop there's always a mic drop that was it right advice that whole yeah it's interesting reinventing yourself i i feel like and this is totally off topic so i'm gonna bring it back but i have a i have a well i have a few children but a 19 year old son that is kind of, I'm telling him some of these same things because he's kind of got in this warped world of just virtual reality and not meeting people and not dating and not getting out.

42:44And the kids just don't talk to each other anymore. And the college experience, I'm like, you should be meeting people.

42:50Terri Trespicio:Well, we're in an analog world still. Like, as far as I know, we're not living in a virtual world. We're living in the real world. And that's going to be really hard. That generation, I don't know what's going to happen. I feel like we know Gen X is the toughest. We grew up analog means we can do literally anything. Like we grew up analog. We learned digital. We can speak your language, but we worked in ways you didn't. So we're sort of unstoppable in that way. But I do worry for young people because I don't understand. I don't know what they'll do. How will they do it? How will they be social?

43:23It's hard. It's just a different, it's a different world. I just read something somewhere that was talking about, I mean, and it was, let's be honest, it was like a TikTok or a reel.

43:32Terri Trespicio:Yeah, sure. That's where I got a lot of my news. It was saying how we were actually the best parents of all of the generations. And it went through and said why. And the millennials were like under us. And then our parents were under them. But it was really interesting to put it out because, I mean, I just finished watching Stranger Things and I'm like, but the 80s were, where was that? Nobody paid attention to us. nobody called us we were back at nighttime and our parents didn't give a crap where we were or what we were doing i mean it was freedom and like but look at the kids probably your son watched stranger things right they all do excuse me romeo um these kids are watching that going i mean the music i want to weep when they're playing prince and they're but this is almost how will how the generations will like how we'll make our peace with the newest generation because they know that That was so cool, you know?

44:28And so, yeah, watching that is very,

44:30Terri Trespicio:and also I felt the same way about Yellow Jackets. That was also 90s, the music, and I was like, this is so awesome. I gotta watch that. Oh, I know, me too. Oh, God, you guys, absolutely. It is our people, it's actresses we grew up with who are now grownups, and it was fantastic. But yeah, I mean, I hate to be like, I worry about the children, because they said the same thing about us. Actually, no, they didn't. They didn't worry about us. They had to say, it's 10 o 'clock. Do you know where your child is? Because maybe we haven't thought about them all day. They'll be home. They'll show up. They'll show up.

44:59Well, Terry, I have to say this, we have all these questions. We never get to any of them, but the heart of what I wanted this episode to be has, has arrived.

45:11Terri Trespicio:Oh, okay. Good. Was there something I missed? I feel bad now. I took you off. No, no, because this is what I really want. I think that this struggle of identity. And I mean, for, for you, your story, um, you know, Laura has a different story of having, having a baby, you know, a couple of years ago, a totally different story. I have a different story of in my forties, like I didn't even start strength training until I was 41. And then I can't believe that this business and, and, and all of these things that I didn't think was possible in my path when I was in my twenties and thirties, because I was a stay at home mom.

45:47That's my identity. That's what I was. That's what I did. And so this reinvention is really, you have three people on this call right now that have reinvented in a different way than what the norm would tell you, I would say.

46:05Terri Trespicio:I mean, there is no norm because you might have seemed norm because you're like, I'm a stay at home mom, but your life changed. My mom always says, and she's something I'll never forget. She's like, you know, people like life is short. Life is short. My mom goes, life is long. Make good decisions. You know what I mean? Like it's, you're going to have to live with that. Now you'll also live through it. Like, yes, you had little kids when you were, you were a baby yourself. So young. And now those kids are grown up. Like you have a whole other life, right? What are you going to do? I mean, my sister just sent her first to college.

46:40Terri Trespicio:her second one is going to college. She was a little panicky, like, what am I going to do? She's so young, right? She has so much energy. She is now producing our podcast. She learned how to use her, like the Riverside app and edit. And she's like, I love this. She has a whole new career as essentially a producer. She's like, oh, I like to zoom in on this. She has a whole new skill set. And she says, thank God we did this now because I don't know what I would have done. So the answer is everyone should have a podcast. Just kidding. I think the answer is everyone Someone should make something, do something, write something.

47:11Terri Trespicio:I mean, there's a reason why we're called to like, I just want to make something. Well, and then they'll say, talk to any woman or age. Oh, but I mean, I was an accountant for years. It's not like I wasn't trained to do this. We were trained for different things for a different world. We were trained for a different world that doesn't exist anymore. It's a good point. So guess what? You're going to have to invent who you are now. And that scariness that we feel like people go, well, I don't know. I just want to go back to what I know. You know, it's not scary because it's dangerous. It's because freedom is so foreign to you.

47:44Terri Trespicio:You don't recognize it. And so you're defaulting to fear, but it's not scary. It's exciting. But the fact that so many women are afraid of that, well, what do I do? It's like, this is what you've been waiting for. This is it. Freedom feels scary because you're so not used to it. Yeah. And I like the reinventing of the skills. Cause I have to say on my, my, um, staff alone, I have one person that's kind of the, um, I don't know, chief operating officer, whatever you would call them who has been in corporate America for 20 years. And then I've hired a bunch of other women, my age that are wicked smart women, but they, you know, they raised kids.

48:29And so we're sitting here and half the time on these calls, this one person is like, well, you know, you, you guys get this. And we're like, we stayed at home for 20 years. We didn't, we don't know this, but all of these women can learn. And I wouldn't have picked anyone different because the skillset, as you said, with your sister, who cares what you went to school with and you haven't worked in X amount of years, or you don't know that - You haven't watched the rumors. Like it can just, you can figure it out. We're all smart women that can figure it out.

48:58Terri Trespicio:But this is the self-esteem. And this is, I'm gonna speak to our generation because the younger are not old enough to complain about this yet much, but I cannot stand. I have an allergic reaction to when any woman around me, around our age, says they can't do tech. I want to scream. I wanna grab them by the ears and shake them. Because I say, everything's tech. You use a phone. You use a microwave is tech. Books are tech. All tech is is a tool with which to do something else. This idea, I'm not good at that. We have counted ourselves out. I didn't. Neither did my mom. She's online. She knows how to order stuff, ship, so she can do everything.

49:38Terri Trespicio:This idea that I can't, oh, I can't. Oh, but you know, women are age. No, don't start with that. Do not. And this idea that you can't learn tech is crazy because this tech today, especially. You don't have to be an engineer. It's made so that a monkey could do it. So you can do it, but that's not what it is. It's not like, well, I can't. This is too hard. No. You're so in your face with your critic. You're just like, I can't because I'm not a person who does this. They've over-identified with someone who can't do things, who doesn't know things. When in fact, if I said, I'll give you a million dollars and won't murder your family if you learn to use Instagram, guess who's going to learn how to use Instagram?

50:18Terri Trespicio:So like, don't tell me you can't do it. You can. It's the block about the idea of what you can't do. And that's what's going to hold women our age back. That's when we pull away from the shore and the people who say, well, but I can't, they stay on the shore and they're done. It's like people don't use AI. I'm like, goodbye. I hope you had fun because you're done now. Yeah. I mean, no, it's great. It's great. It's the reinventing. And I see this like in the weight loss world of, you know, people will come into my programs and I'm like, there's nothing special here. There's nothing, there's no magic pill or solution.

50:52Like they want your arms.

50:54Terri Trespicio:They just want your arms. They want you to tell them what to do to get the arms, the arms, the arms. Well, I mean, it's just like every day I see women reinvent themselves, but you're right. You have to change. I had to do it myself. I was just like, I can't start a, who's going to listen to me on Instagram. I don't know how to do any of this. Or, you know, you starting off with a TED talk. Well, I don't know, but I'm going to figure it out. You'll figure it out. Of course you figure it out. I think we undermine our own abilities. Something that my niece says that, well, that people say now, they'll be like, how hard can it be?

51:34Terri Trespicio:Boys do it. I like that. Amazing. So whenever someone says, well, there's not enough money or we can't earn enough and there's not enough. I could, there's plenty of money and some douchebag out there who's doing very little is taking home your share. So what are you going to do about it? Do you speak? Are you, do you have any speaking engagements coming up? Because I feel like I need to meet you in person. I know. I'm like, where are you going to be talking? You know, anyone who needs a speaker? Because my bookings are down. I haven't really tried. I haven't really pitched and I would love to do more speaking.

52:08Terri Trespicio:So if you know anyone, But no, I don't have anything currently scheduled. I just have the podcast that goes live every week. That's it. I also run live workshops and I do lecture them because the room is all women our age, basically, with a few very advanced, involved men. And I run live workshops every week where people come and write and I'm forever telling them, you are creative. I don't care that you majored in finance, Nancy. You're still creative. So I am forever coaxing people out of that shell. So when I speak, I'm speaking to my community and that's easy enough to check out. But yeah, if you hear of like any major events, please tell me.

52:47Terri Trespicio:I would love to throw my hat in the ring. And you still live in New York? Yes. Yeah. Couldn't you hear the ambulance? Oh, sorry. Or the police? I don't even hear it in New York. Where are you? Where are you in New York? I'm on the Upper West Side. I'm near Lincoln Center. Okay. We had an apartment in Murray Hill. Like years, well, my husband did. I would visit. We were kind of living in two places while he was working out in the city before we moved out. But such a fantastic, there's nowhere like New York City. There's not. You walk down the street in New York and you're on your own music video.

53:24Terri Trespicio:It's whatever you're listening to, whatever you're wearing, whatever. Like, it's just, I love it. I know everyone's like, it's not what it used to be. I'm like, I don't care. It's still New York. It's still amazing. Absolutely. So Terry, in closing here, where can women find you? And can you just mention again about your writing group? Because, oh, it's a big book. Oh, the book is called Unfollow Your Passion. You can find it wherever books are sold. Hopefully it came out in 2021. So I hope it's still there. It's very good. it. Thank you. It came out during the pandemic, so it did not get the attention that it might have.

54:04Terri Trespicio:But that's all right. You can find me anywhere. I'm everywhere. No one has my name. Literally, no one. So Terry Trespicia, you can find me on the gram. You can find me on TikTok, blah, blah, blah. But if you want to actually hang out and spend time, I'm always on and talking to this group in my little community. It's the group I run. It's called the New Rules Studio. We call at the studio. And it is essentially a live, real-time, virtual, critic-free writing room, not just for writers. I'm joining. I know. You want to write? Do you guys want to write? Yes. I've always wanted to share a... Yes, I do.

54:45You want to write now.

54:46Terri Trespicio:Do you like the idea of sitting and writing your story? Well, I would say I'm too busy right now, but it's definitely on the docket in like the next decade. Decade. I like thinking in decades. I think it's really important. Well, let me tell you, I'll tell you and everyone else, you're better than you think because I can't tell how I'm really a bad writer. I'm not good. No, it's just that you trained according to grammar and you were afraid of doing it wrong. You, there is, I say, there's no such thing as writer's block. There's just the desire to write and the desire to be right. And if you're going to write and be creative, you have to be willing to be wrong and to mess it up.

55:24Terri Trespicio:But we are a very specific approach to writing. It's called the gateless method. I did not invent it. There's no criticism. There's no judgment. No one's going to tell you how to do your thing. We're only going to listen to your work and tell you what we loved about it. And I, being a seasoned and certified facilitator in this method, will point out the craft points of what this speaker did. Haley, you can see what she did here is she did this, and then she starts with this introduction and you'll be like, I didn't know I did that. So I'm forever showing people their work and showing them how strong it is so that they can share it however they want to.

55:58Terri Trespicio:But you can come and try it. And what I'm doing is getting a special BodyPod link that you can put in the show notes so that we'll know how many of your friends come. I love it. I love it. Well, Terry, thank you so much for spending your afternoon with us. This was such an enlightening and, and, and as, as I mentioned at the first different podcast than any other guests that we've had. So thank you for being here. Thank you. Thank you. So fun. You are so fun to have you. Oh, you guys are so sweet. I would like to meet you in person at some point. I'm on East Coaster now. So when I come to New York, I am meeting up with you.

56:39Terri Trespicio:Please, please do. This is real fun. Thank you guys. Yes. Thanks for listening, everyone. If you enjoyed this episode, please consider giving us a five-star rating and sharing the body pod with your friends.