In short
The Buckleys podcast episode “Buckley vs Buckley (Gameshow Edition)” is a comedic, competitive gameshow-style episode. They also discuss everyday annoyances (non-universal shoe sizing, kids/household mishaps, pub/airport/transport etiquette) and listener messages, then pitch “Buckley’s Bunker” invention ideas.
Guests
No guests. Only hosts James Buckley and Claire Buckley (plus listener messages read on-air).
Key claims
Shoe sizes vary by brand and even within brands, so “size should be universal.” Their “Buckley’s Law” is to make sizes consistent. In “Family Fortunes,” listener-voted answers include “not buying rounds properly,” “taking shoes and socks off,” “poor personal hygiene,” and “playing music out loud.” They win the games overall after point disputes.
Notable examples
Blankety Blank (fashion award “best shorts,” autobiography “The Woman Behind the Legend,” fan name “mother buckers,” podcast reviews “shit”); Catchphrase clues (“under the weather,” “take that with a pinch of salt”); “Count to 10” silence challenge; “Buckley’s Bunker” pitches (send smells via phone, dog umbrellas, TipTap app for tipping).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOHosts' Catch-Up
1:28 to 1:59
The hosts share how they've been and a humorous exchange about hydration.
“You know back to school is coming in fast.”
Hosts' Catch-Up
2:52 to 3:08
The hosts share how they've been and a humorous exchange about hydration.
“It's the clearest pee I've ever had in my life.”
Jelly and Treats
3:08 to 4:14
A quirky discussion about jelly and favorite childhood treats.
“This was something I was thinking about the other day while I was in bed.”
Thunderbirds Anniversary
4:14 to 5:30
Discussing the 60th anniversary of Thunderbirds and costume ideas.
“I suppose this is the time to bring it up.”
Shoe Size Frustrations
5:30 to 10:00
The hosts express their frustrations with inconsistent shoe sizing for their kids.
“see I'm Sulla it's my birthday tomorrow wow you're not going to get it for the mora no but we could make We could make, we could home make the costumes.”
Observations on Kids
10:00 to 12:54
A lighthearted look at the hosts' kids and their amusing struggles.
“We have done, despite our best efforts, to make sure our kids are equipped with the stuff that they need to know.”
Men's Handshake Moment
12:54 to 13:15
A funny recount of an awkward moment between the hosts and their friends.
“and we had no idea that you two were in the pub because you sat by the window.”
Podcast Updates
13:15 to 13:39
Brief updates about the podcast and new jersey availability.
“Just before we move on, I just want to mention that we'll be updating our jersey soon.”
Game Show Competition
13:39 to 14:00
The hosts introduce their game show segment and the rules for playing.
Blankety Blank Game
14:00 to 17:45
The hosts play a humorous version of Blankety Blank, trying to match answers.
“But they've thrown the word champion in there.”
Show all 22 chapters
Catchphrase Challenge
17:45 to 21:17
The hosts engage in a Catchphrase game with explanations and guesses.
“Right, Claire, the next round needs no introduction, but you sort of do have to introduce it, don't you?”
Catchphrase Challenge
21:21 to 22:20
The hosts engage in a Catchphrase game with explanations and guesses.
“You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist.”
Family Fortunes Game
22:20 to 28:00
The hosts play Family Fortunes, guessing audience responses to various topics.
“Surprised we're doing this, to be honest, because I feel like it's going to get some comments, but we're going to do our version of the cube.”
Voting on Biggest Icks
28:00 to 29:30
The hosts discuss their biggest pet peeves in a gameshow format.
“I suppose it's got to come off your heat.”
Public Transport Etiquette
29:30 to 30:59
The hosts debate the most annoying behaviors in public transport.
“Daordling in shops, saying like in random places in sentences.”
Game Show Competition
30:59 to 32:36
The hosts reflect on their competitive nature while revealing the game results.
“Yours would have been exactly the same if you were losing.”
Listener Updates and WhatsApp Groups
32:36 to 34:08
The hosts share listener messages and talk about funny WhatsApp groups.
“hey Claire let's have a little break from the game and quiz shows and have some updates from our listeners.”
Group Chat Anecdotes
34:08 to 36:14
The hosts share humorous stories about their group chats with family.
“It's called the Buckley's, me, you and the two boys.”
Beer Preferences and Alternatives
36:14 to 37:53
The hosts discuss their beer preferences and alternatives when Stella isn't available.
“We've had that when we went to like posh kind of Asian restaurants.”
Introducing Buckley's Bunker
37:53 to 39:54
The hosts present a new feature reminiscent of a popular TV show, inviting listener ideas.
“with both hands and fucking go to town on it You can go while I do this.”
Listener Inventions: Critiquing Ideas
39:54 to 42:00
The hosts critique listener-submitted invention ideas in a playful manner.
“I am sure the Japanese have already done that.”
Discussion on Tipping App Idea
42:00 to 45:14
The hosts discuss and evaluate an innovative app idea for tipping in restaurants.
“You're looking in the wrong place, Yolanda.”
Transcript
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1:31James Buckley:Hey, Chicago. Class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new Fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest croc store today. For a bit of friendly competition, we're playing against each other. No competition is friendly. Watching the pair of them trying to lower the window blinds was f***ing infuriating. Right, but in their defence. Your attitude absolutely stinks right now.
2:20James Buckley:It stinks, idiot. I went slightly different. I put legend.
2:32Welcome to The Buckleys, the podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit and invite you into our lives. Before we do get into it, we just want to remind you that you can get in touch with your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleys on Instagram and TikTok. and don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you do enjoy the show, why not go ahead and leave us a review afterwards? Right.
2:56James Buckley:Yes. We're back. We're back. We're back. How have you been? I'm good. Since the last record. Good. I had a lot of pee. I'm so hydrated. Good. That's good. It's the clearest pee I've ever had in my life. I've got a question for you. Go on. This was something I was thinking about the other day while I was in bed. When was the last time you had jelly?
3:15James Buckley:Like table jelly? Yeah. It's been a while, actually. I used to have, my grandpa used to make it all the time. Yeah. In a bowl. Yeah. Oh, it's been a while. We don't even have a jelly bowl. No, we don't. What made you think of that in bed? I don't know, I was just thinking. Looking at your arse. It's been a while since I've had jelly. Now, Claire. What did make you think of that? I don't know. You're so weird, man. I genuinely don't know. I was just like, oh, I haven't had jelly for a while. Do you want me to get some? yeah but I like to not make it properly you don't just eat it out the wee packet oh no that's like drinking diluting juice with the water it's just pure jelly oh no too much love it too much absolutely love it that's why you've got heart problems yeah probably that might have been it or an arctic roll when was the last time you had an arctic roll I was well I was never really I'm going to say 1999 was the last time I had an arctic roll what did I buy you no long ago what What?
4:13James Buckley:It's a little posh treat. You were buzzing. What? Vionetta. Oh, yeah, yeah, I didn't eat it though. Did you not? No. Why? I suppose this is the time to bring it up. I really appreciate it because you were like, yeah, I got you a Vionetta. Yeah? You don't like them? It was mint. You got the mint one. Aye, that's good. I just want the chocolate one. Mint's the classic one. No, I think the chocolate one's the classic one. mints the mint one anyway Claire I've got to move on because I want to talk to you about something oh okay now I'm sure you're aware that it is the 60th anniversary of Thunderbirds god yeah you're right I forgot about that they've brought out some amazing merch to celebrate just go to I think it's jerryanderson.com or something like that we're not sponsored by them but you can get like the blu-ray box set now and what not but my question to you is can I buy an adult sized Thunderbirds costume?
5:14James Buckley:A costume? Yeah. For you to wear? Yeah. If you want me. Yeah. Because I was thinking I could get like a Scott Tracy Thunderbirds uniform. Right. Maybe you could get like Lady Penelope and you know. Open a packet of jelly and see what happens. Yeah. That would be my sexual fantasy. Really? Lady Penelope? Lady Penelope. Me as Scott Tracy. me and you getting down to business it's niche isn't it it is niche can't find any porn videos on that at all I feel like there's a whole market well we'll make it we'll make it on do you think your sex tape would do well out of curiosity yeah
6:01James Buckley:I love that that could be the title curious curious you know you're curious you know you want to see it also can I I was joking I thought you'd say no to that but I'm glad that you've said yes because I'm going to work on that well I nearly said no because I thought you were going to say a real sized figure I was going to say absolutely not but a costume if you want to run about the house wearing a Scott Tracy costume you go for it alright and the Penelope thing is that a go? see I'm Sulla it's my birthday tomorrow wow you're not going to get it for the mora no but we could make We could make, we could home make the costumes.
6:41And then I'll just go, Thunderbirds are go! You could do the countdown. You could do the countdown. You could go five, four, three, two, one. And then I'll go, Thunderbirds are go!
7:06Good God. It is my birthday. It is my birthday. It's my birthday tomorrow.
7:12James Buckley:All right, I'll do it. Yeah. We're starting from five and that's all you've got. Oh, no. This is quite a long countdown. I don't know if I'll last that long. I'll maybe get to three. Okay. And then Thunderbirds might just have to go, Claire. They might just have to go. What are you talking about? Come on. Have you got anything that you'd like to whinge about? Yes, I've got one little thing. that's really been annoying me. So I'm in a situation right now with our kids where... I've got something to put about the kids as well. No, it's not the kids that are annoying me. Well, they are annoying me.
7:48James Buckley:You annoy all of us. Go on, carry on. But our boys, they're 14 and nearly 13, right? And they're growing so much. Yeah. Like every other week, it's like, I just bought you that. It doesn't fit them. Yeah. Shoes. Couldn't tell you what size shoe they are. Well, this is driving me insane. I can't keep up with it. I'm not talking about having to keep buying them stuff and things like that. Shoe sizes. Every single brand, every shop, they're all fucking different. I don't understand how this has happened. Even within the brand. Yes. I buy a lot of Adidas shoes. But the sliders come up small. Yeah, yeah.
8:32James Buckley:Why? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 that's the size make them all make them that size yeah I've been one minute Jude's a 4 then he's a 5 and then I'm like how am I supposed to just order some shoes I've got loads of Adidas trainers and I know what size I am in Adidas so I can order them online and when they turn up I know what they are some of them are so some of them will say US 10 yeah UK 9 yeah and then some of them say us 10 uk eight and a half right like and i'm like where's and it's the same brand yeah and it's the same size in america but it's different yeah like i just i cannot handle it i'm so and this is annoying me because i did order them um some new trainers not too long ago and they had had shoes which i took them out for to be fair and then i was like right that's your size we're good order trainers they're too small and then it's like vans are different to adidas it's different to it's so inconvenient that a size 4 is not just a size 4 in every shoe it's not just universal yeah you're a Nike size 4 bugs the shit out mate I'm sick of it I get it I'm with you so Buckley's Law yeah can we please make the size the fucking size we'll make them all universal yeah that's the whole point of the size system we'll do we'll do what Europe has done to Apple what's that they've gone stop making people buy your own your special little fucking charging cable just make it a USB so that everyone can use it right and Apple about to go okay then but that's what's been getting on my nerves you mentioned the kids I do want to quickly moan about the kids they are young they're young they are young yeah But I do, I just, you know they'll never be able to move out, don't you?
10:35James Buckley:What are you talking about? We have done, despite our best efforts, to make sure our kids are equipped with the stuff that they need to know. Those kids are great. Claire, I watched them. They have got proper screwed on little heads. They are fine. Watching the pair of them trying to lower the window blinds was fucking infuriating. Right, but in their defence.
11:01James Buckley:in their defence yeah it's slightly complicated no but that blind is also it sticks a bit it doesn't it does a bit I did it straight away aye I know but it does a wee bit you pull it to the side a little bit and you let it go you let it slowly go I know they're going
11:18I was like I don't know what you guys I don't know what you're going to do in the future I don't know what you're going to do
11:24James Buckley:they'll be fine they won't it'll be me there lowering their blinds for them have you have you finished bullying me what are you talking about now you and your mate taking the piss out of me and Cam because we shook hands oh come on that was weird that was such a weird little moment me and my mate Cam dropped you and his missus off at the pub we did a lovely thing the husbands did a lovely thing they dropped their wives off so that you two could go and have a drink and stuff. We'll come and pick you up. You don't need to get a taxi home. And then me and him were just chatting in the car park by our cars.
12:10Yeah, we were watching you
12:11James Buckley:at the window. Yeah, and you two were just watching us, laughing at us. Just because she's a soul. What are they talking about? What are they even fucking talking about? Just because she's so cute. They're such idiots. And then we went, all right, see you later, mate, see you later. We shook hands. They shook hands. By the way, they were parked next to each other and they stood. You know when you just watch men and do stuff you just think fucking idiots they they stood at the back of the cars and they were chatting and then they were like looking at the car like at one point at one point like somebody touched the car and it was like and we were just watching them and that's what was making us laugh but then as they left they shook hands and go into their regards we were just like what the fuck it just looked weird we can't do anything can't just have a conversation just having a conversation and we had no idea that you two were in the pub because you sat by the window.
13:01Yeah. And you two were both just looking out the window going, look at these fucking idiots. What are they doing? It was just funny. Mean girls. That's what it was.
13:10James Buckley:Sure. Mean girls. Sure. Right, Claire. Yeah. We're going to have a little swipe and we'll be back. Okay. Hey, Claire. Yes. Just before we move on, I just want to mention that we'll be updating our jersey soon. Oh, yeah. New season soon. The new jerseys, the new Chelmsford Chieftain jerseys are available just go to benchbuddy.co.uk buy one and also buy one and then take a picture of you in it so we can see you buy it yeah and we might put it on the podcast anyway last week Claire we talked about all things game and quiz show yeah so this week we're going to be playing some of them yes we're going to end up fighting for a bit of friendly competition we're playing against each other no competition is friendly we're playing against each other So I'll read your questions out and you'll read mine.
13:59James Buckley:Okay. And we'll see who's the champion. Not my words. Uh-oh. But they've thrown the word champion in there. Uh-oh. So this is starting to feel a bit serious now. Is it a prize? Well, it's my birthday tomorrow. Okay. Here's the... If you win, I've got to do what you want. If I win, you get nanty. I get to go to bed and rest in peace. No, I'm not doing that. No, you don't get out of it that easily. So first off, Claire, we're going to be giving Blankety Blank a go. Okay. Blankety Blank. Oh, we got props. For those who don't know, Blankety Blank features contestants competing to match the answers of celebrity panellists who have filled in the missing words of humorous sentences.
14:39We both get a point if we match. On this one, we're working together.
14:43James Buckley:So we are going to read out sentences. Yes. I'll read first and then you read. but when we put the blank in, we want our answers to match. Okay. Right? And if you can't see, we do have little, we've got little whiteboards. We've been given little whiteboards to write our answers on. So, okay. You ready? Yes. Right. I'll go first. Okay. James Buckley has just won a fashion award. It was an award for the best blank.
15:15Okay.
15:15James Buckley:Okay. You ready? Yeah. I didn't really know what to put. I'll be honest with you Claire James Buckley has won a fashion award it was award for best just put shorts I put trouser tint right because it's staring at me in the face it is yeah we don't get a point neither of us get a point shorts God's sake man well I just feel like I get my shorts taking the piss out of quite a lot in the house right okay next one yeah Claire Buckley has released an autobiography titled The Woman Behind the... I think we're going to match on this. Do you reckon? Yeah. Go on. Okay, so Claire Buckley has released an autobiography titled The Woman Behind the...
16:02James Buckley:Idiot. Right. I went slightly different. I put legend.
16:13But we sort of...
16:15James Buckley:Did we get a point for that? because in our own minds we're both right yeah in our own minds we've said the same thing yeah yeah all right next question or next blank the Buckley's listeners have given themselves a fan name like Swifties and Beliebers they have called themselves the Blanks
16:43James Buckley:I wrote something and then I thought I'll add to it and make it better all right ready yeah the Buckley's listeners have given themselves a fan name they've called themselves the silly buckers ooh very close I went mother buckers right well buckers same same point point yes look at us just giving ourselves a point for nothing for not matching this is almost impossible okay last one for blankety blank yeah the reviews are in the Buckley's podcast has been summed up in one word. Well, we can just be honest. Yep. You go first. Shit. Shit. Yes! Right, two points each there, Claire. Yep. Let's pop these down.
17:32James Buckley:Oh, you put your DJ voice on there. Right, two points each there, Claire. Yeah, because I'm trying to add some structure. Okay, do it again, sorry. Right, there's two points each there, Claire. Let's pop these down and we'll move on to the next game show that we're going to play. Minimum Misty!
17:51Right, Claire, the next round needs no introduction, but you sort of do have to introduce it, don't you?
17:57James Buckley:Yeah, we have to let them know. It's Catchphrase, one of our favourites. I'm so good at this. Mr. Chips, one of the biggest legends on British television. Sure. Bit gassy today. Yeah, you've got to stop doing that. And you can't say, it's the B, Claire. See, it's not, it's just you. As most of you are probably listening to this and not watching, it wouldn't be right to show a catchphrase. So we're doing it in a much less funny way. That sentence doesn't sound good, does it? Perfect. We've got some explanations of catchphrases and we have to guess what they are. We've got two each. God, this is going to be harder.
18:33James Buckley:Right, so I've got to read first. Right, here's your first one. Right. James. Yeah. A man is running off with a pot full of urine. A man is running off with a pot full of urine. Close your eyes and visualise it. Well, yeah, but if the man's running away from me... Oh, I've got it! I've got it! Then I don't have a pot to piss in. Ah, yeah. That's it, right? Is that not it? What the fuck is it then? He's taking the piss. Of course he is. I think Mulhern would have given me that. Do you think? Yeah, because they do sort of go, yeah, no, that works. It's good, but it's not right, is what old... Roy.
19:13Roy would have said alright right your turn your turn why are you just copying
19:18James Buckley:everything I'm saying why are you just copying everything I'm saying someone is in a shop paying with limbs easy so easy caught us an arm and a leg yeah fucking well easy yes don't start getting arse because I'm winning that's bollocks that one someone's running off of a pot of urine are you ready yeah someone has the sniffles right whilst it snows rains and hails above them. Right. I mean that's nuts. Someone has the sniffles while it snows, rains and hails above them. Oh! Come on, I've got it. If he can't get it, do I get his point if I get it right? Yes. No, you don't. I don't know. Under the weather!
20:08Under the weather,
Read the full transcript
20:09James Buckley:yeah no it does work in the end right Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams are holding some seasoning what Gary Barlow and Robbie Williams are holding some seasoning got to be something to do with take that what that's got me do you know take that with a pinch of salt ah hmm I think that was harder than the urine one yeah don't get down about it because I'm winning look at you we've lost you because I'm winning I just thought this would have been more fun hey Chicago class it up with Crocs you know back to school is coming in fast so why wait to find your new fave footwear step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look try it style it make it yours because the right pair doesn't just show up It shows off.
21:09James Buckley:First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook.
21:49James Buckley:Now at Lowe's, faster quotes start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved as a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. And if you don't see what you need on the shelf, we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in store or on lowes.com right from the Lowe's Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's. Okay, Claire. Yeah. The next one we're doing. Yeah. It's one that you used to like. Yeah. Surprised we're doing this, to be honest, because I feel like it's going to get some comments, but we're going to do our version of the cube.
22:32James Buckley:Woo! I love the cube. It was challenges. there was physical challenges mental tasks there was you know like estimation reaction I wanted to know who that woman was under the I know she had a body on her she did so one of the only challenges that we can recreate on a podcast is the simple game of count to ten right which I feel like you're going to be better at than me okay so we have to count to ten in our heads and press the buzzer when we think we've got to ten seconds Okay. The producer will stop the clock and the closest one to 10 seconds wins. Now, there is a bonus point. You could possibly get two points if you get bang on 10.
23:17James Buckley:Okay. All right? So this is going to be 10 seconds of silence. On a podcast. I didn't think about that. Yeah, you didn't think about that, did you? Right. And it has to be silence as well. You can't concentrate. Only on the Buckleys, guys. So here we go. All right, you ready, Claire? Yeah. Three, two, one, go.
23:47Way too early. 8.68.
23:51James Buckley:You're kidding me. Count it to 10. Right. My go. Okay, James, ready? Three, two, one. Oh, you didn't say go. Sorry. That fucked me Sorry Get ready 3, 2, 1, go
24:2811.62 Too slow, mate
24:30James Buckley:Too slow Right, you're going to have to do some maths now so after the silence now we're going to play a game called maths so I think Claire is closest oh for fuck's sake yes this is bollocks I won this is absolute bollocks I was closest stop swearing and getting annoyed it's bullshit look at you you knew this was going to happen it's fucking bullshit you knew this was going to happen you're lucky you're just lucky don't come up against me you get all the good stuff don't come up against me you're just lucky you don't know what it's like you've never had to struggle like me I've come from nowhere And you will not learn.
25:03I've come from nothing.
25:04James Buckley:Don't fucking take me on, all right? You don't know what I've been through. You don't know who I am, where I've come from. Anyway, we're going to play Family Fortunes. Finally, it is Family Fortunes, Claire. But we're going to do it a bit differently. Of course we are. We put some polls on Instagram. We did. With some topics and our listeners voted in their droves. we have to guess what they voted as number one in that topic oh okay this is good I think we know our listeners pretty well yeah so all you need to do is pick exactly the same as me and we'll leave a draw where's the fun in that I know where's the fun in that it's all bullshit I don't need to cheat you've already just said you're a cheater I don't need to cheat when I'm playing you because you're shite I've got to win anyway no you started making up rules can I get it can I take the point that's what happens in catchphrase No, but we never established that to begin with.
25:59James Buckley:I just did. I said, surely this point's mine. If I get it, you go wrong. And they say die. Only when you know the answer, you go, oh, I know the answer to that one. So can I change the rules now so that I can get another point, please? If you knew one of my answers. Oh, let me have another point, please. If you knew one of my answers, you could have took the point. But you did not. I did, actually. But I thought, you know what, that's not fair. I'm not going to take a point off her. You're ass. I'm not going to take a point off her. You're a fucking liar. Anyway, poll number one, worst pub behaviour.
26:28James Buckley:Now, this is voted by our listeners. This is voted by our listeners. We've got options here. We've got A, working on a laptop. B, ordering a Guinness at the end of a big order. C, not buying rounds properly. Or D, buying pub snacks and not sharing. Now, I think worst pub behaviour is not buying rounds. See, for me, the worst one on that is working on a laptop. I don't want to be in a pub with somebody on a laptop. I'll be honest, the type of pubs I go to, I've never seen it. I've never, no. So it's not really a problem for me. Okay, so what are you going for? Not getting a round in. Not, you know, skipping your turn or something.
27:06James Buckley:I'm going to go laptop. The answer is C, not buying rounds correctly. There we go. 38 % of the vote. The comeback begins. Right, number two, Claire. Yeah. Worst airport slash flying behaviour. Okay. A, reclining seat immediately. B, taking shoes and socks off C, standing before doors are open or D, queuing before gate is called well, standing and queuing don't bother me that UDU I think it's stupid but that's your business I'm having trouble picking between shoes and socks off and reclining immediately yeah, that's where I'm at I'm going to go reclining though because I feel like that will be the one that everyone will vote for I'm going to go reclining oh, you're going to copy me No, that's what I was going to say.
27:57So you started to lose a bit of ground there and now you're taking the, oh, I'll just do whatever he says.
28:02James Buckley:I suppose it's got to come off your heat. Is that what we're resorting to now? Mm-hmm. Anyway, we're both going A. The answer is B. Damn. Taking shoes and socks off. 42 % of the vote. Oh, 42%. Do I get it? Because I said I would go for that. But you didn't. I know, but we... So you didn't give the right answer. But if we're changing the rules as we're playing it... There's no changing rules. If I get one wrong and you get it right, you can have the point poll number three biggest ick fucking shove the point right up your ass a poor personal hygiene sorry A poor personal hygiene you're an idiot B rude to waiters C tight with money D uses the term ick they're all terrible they're all terrible my biggest ick out of those four is probably rude to waiters yeah I don't mind a bit of BO you're tight with money listen that's your business it's your money using the term doesn't really bother me so I'd say rude I don't like people who are rude to people who are working are you locking B in?
29:08James Buckley:I'm locking it in rude to waiters if I've got if I'm going to do anything I need to do I need to do a different answer to you but all of them are bad I hate all of them they're all big put offs for me yep I'm going to go A personal hygiene, bad personal hygiene? The answer is A, poor personal hygiene. All right, here we fucking go. Here we fucking go. This is it. This is it. Other notable suggestions. Daordling in shops, saying like in random places in sentences. You are not shaggy from Scooby-Doo. And having the same haircut for several years and wearing Fred Perry. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. poll number four most annoying public transport etiquette oh god A on the phone loudly terrible B bag on a free seat on a busy train disgusting C not waiting for people to get off before getting on moronic doesn't make sense no absolutely not you need people to make space for you to get on so you're an idiot and B playing music loud genuinely makes me violent I want to slap them I know what one I'm going to pick so it's up to you whether you want me to say it first or not yeah go on you say first mine's is playing music loud playing anything for your phone loud the phone call everything's annoying but playing something and having no regard for other people is crazy behaviour that is the answer I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure that is the answer I think that's what they would have said I've got to go different I'm going to go on the phone loudly but it's playing music loud that's the one So say it then No I think I need the points I need the points to even draw with you at this point I'm going to go on the phone I'm going to go A Claire's going to go D Answer is D Playing music out loud Yeah of course it is We've got the results here Claire Let's find out if Cheetah Claire or Hold on a minute Or honourable James Your attitude absolutely stinks right now It stinks Yeah Claire yours Reprogram yourself and do the end of this properly.
31:19You know what we're like. Yours would have been exactly the same if you were losing. No, it wouldn't. Because I'm not an idiot. And this is it. I'm not an idiot. This is what we felt like. We shouldn't... Our lives are a competition, me and you. We're always trying to beat each other. And the one that loses sulks.
31:36James Buckley:No. You need to. And the one that wins is always like, no, no, no, come on. You need to. adjust your attitudes it's just a game but you're doing a podcast and you went right anyway let's see who like come on yeah let's see who's won let's see who's won right honour or or cheaty fine take the point after me then cheaty Claire take one point after me fine fucking baby well okay right so after Claire's had her point taken off her Claire has five points and James has four get it up you Claire's the winner hey and what was that fair and square what's that they took my point they did take your point off you and I would just like to say I'm married to you so I'm really the winner oh god god let's have a little swipe hey Claire let's have a little break from the game and quiz shows and have some updates from our listeners.
32:44We've got a message here from Steve. He says, hi, James and Claire. I wanted to let you know that I have not one, but two WhatsApp groups inspired by the in-betweeners. I have football friends, which is for my father's side team, and I have bus wankers for me and my colleagues who commute together. This got me thinking about WhatsApp group names. Do you guys have any funny WhatsApp group names that you are in? Shit pod, five stars. Thanks, Steve. I've got well we recently changed the name of the group within in the last couple of years but there was a big group chat with the boys from the Inbetweeners and the writers and yeah the name of that group chat
33:28James Buckley:Oh God would have would have cancelled us would have got us Who eventually changed it? I think Must have been one of the writers I think it might have been Blake Oh really? or I remember I don't in fact I don't think it was Blake but I just remember I think Blake went yeah it was probably a good idea we changed the name of that yeah right because if one of us left our phone on the train or something oh god almighty and all those messages I don't even want to know what it is you know not even just the name of the group we've got to go we've got to go through that we might have to start a new group just delete it get rid of it all we might just have to burn the whole thing down yeah burn that I can't I mean I can't say it you can't say it so it's pointless can't say it I don't really get added to group chats a lot.
34:10James Buckley:I don't know what that says about me. We've got one. Oh, we've got a Buckley's family. We've got a... It's called the Buckley's. It's called the Buckley's, me, you and the two boys. And then we've also got our own separate ones with the boys as well. I've got Mum's Boys group chat. And I've got the Buckley Boys. The Buckley Boys group chat, yeah. So do you slag me off in the Buckley Boys? No.
34:32James Buckley:The only time where... I mean, this was quite funny. It's not funny, but it's a little bit funny so a while back my gran wasn't very well and she was in and you know i'm gonna say she was in and at a hospital and stuff right and um she got better and she's fine now but then just randomly just one evening one of my aunties set up a group chat on whatsapp just called gran and she added in like me and my sister and my brother and all her cousins so then And all of us, and we're all in different places, right? But we all got added to this group chat just titled Gran. And we were all like, fuck. And I was like, surely they're not going to tell us our group chat that something's happened.
35:21James Buckley:Anyway, we waited and waited. It was like a few days go by. She'd never put anything in it. Just made a group chat and never said anything. Eventually, my sister was the one. And then we've also all got a group chat ourselves. So we were all like, does anybody? and my cousin Alan was like I saw her yesterday she's fine so I don't know what the group chat is my sister eventually was like are you going to tell us she might just be prepping what this is I don't even know what it was I think it was for her birthday or something but she never replied never spoke in it she never spoke in it set up a group chat and usually when someone does set up a group chat I was like hey guys just wanted to set this up before we could talk about you know our birthday's coming up maybe we should come up with some ideas set up the group chat never said anything yeah so that's the only that's the only group chat thing I've got everything else I'm bolding I've got another message here from Josie who says hi James and Claire long time watcher of the pod here I have a question I can't help but notice you like a bottle of Stella during recording so I can safely assume it's your favourite only thing is I miss it what do you do when you get to a pub that doesn't have Stella do you have backup options what's your tipple need to know so I can change my order accordingly thanks Josie yeah absolutely there's a few good beers we could have if there's no Stella Moretti's good I don't mind the Cronenberg Peroni is a nice beer but I wouldn't class it as the same as a Stella no but if they've got a Peroni there I'm like yeah alright I can work with that Estrella I like that Estrella's alright what if we weren't drinking beer What would your grown-up drink be?
37:03Gin and tonic.
37:04James Buckley:Yeah, me too. Straight away, gin and tonic. Me too. Any of those beers are good. Any of the premium lagers are fine. Yeah. I even love a Cobra. Oh, I like a Cobra. When you go for a curry. Yeah, that's really nice. Or a Kingfisher. Acai. Acai, yeah. Acai, that's really nice. Yeah. We've had that when we went to like posh kind of Asian restaurants. I'm not sure if it is posh. I just think it's posh to us maybe It feels posh It does I was thinking yeah no I know what you're talking about but then I was thinking I bet people in the comments go it's not posh Oh is it not Well I think it's posh I don't know I think We had to have a posh restaurant Anyway We've got a feature let's have a swipe and we're going to find out what this it's a new feature right Is it Yeah Does that mean a new jingle Alright okay let's have a swipe and then I'm going to grab this feature with both hands and fucking go to town on it You can go while I do this.
38:00Okay then. Claire, we have a new feature.
38:02James Buckley:Oh yeah. So we've been talking about British TV shows all episode and recently we had a few emails in sharing their new business ideas. Oh yeah. What did we call it? Which resembled another famous British TV show, Dragon's Den. What was those again? So here's our cheap rip-off version of it. It's time for Buckley's Bunker. Buckley's Bunker. Buckley's Bunker. Buckley's Bunker Show me the money What did he say at the end? Show me the money Show me the money Well done Sammy, I like that Buckley's Bunker is exactly like Dragon's Den but a much, much lower bar and absolutely no promise of investment But first, it reminds us keep your big business ideas coming in by emailing thebuckleysplatformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok.
38:59First one here is from Caroline.
39:01James Buckley:Okay. She says, hi, James and Claire. Love the pod. And the new segment on inventions cracks me up. I have one I cannot believe hasn't been thought of yet, unless it has. That's always the thing, isn't it? You know the way we can send visuals through our phones? As in? Texts and sounds, voice notes, et cetera. Well, I think it would be very cool if we could send smells Oh, come on. You're in fantasy land here. We want real stuff. Okay, how's she doing it? When I make a lasagna with garlic bread, I can send a smell note to my boyfriend to lure him home from Pints with the Lads. The only caveat I thought of is that people will inevitably use it in a less lovely way.
39:47And it wouldn't be great to wake up and open a smell note of someone's shit. Let me know what you think. Caroline. Yeah, Caroline.
39:56James Buckley:Caroline, you need to come with some actual I mean what do you want us to do with that Sure it's a great idea No it hasn't been thought of yet Because for obvious reasons It's not possible to send a smell down the phone You know that Caroline And I think you're being silly And I don't think you're taking Buckley's bunker very seriously She's being a silly bucker I think you're trying to be funny And I am not amused I am not amused And you're not getting any investment from me I'm out Right here's one from Yolanda. Yolanda. Hi Buckleys and team. I'm Yolanda from Worcester. Worcester. How do you say that?
40:35Worcester. Worcester. Where the sauce is made. My invention is umbrellas for dogs. I am sure the Japanese have already done that.
40:45James Buckley:Why the Japanese? They love all that kind of stuff. They do like little things for animals and stuff. Hear me out. I have a dwarf shih tzu and she is a real queen and any sign of rain she's either not stepping out or if she's forced out she comes home soaking wet and does the zoomies to try and get dry and so today i took her for a walk whilst holding my umbrella over her oh but she's not getting the idea and walking off like a knob my idea was umbrellas for all size dogs and they come with a strap from around the tits she's going very technical under the chest the strap from around the tits and over the back and the umbrella opens and keeps them dry happy dog and happy walker no more wet zoomies and more importantly my husband looks even more of a twat walking her than he already feels thanks guys I look forward to your investment not sure how much we need yet raincoats for dogs raining well you could do is a very popular thing Cosmo had a little raincoat when he was a puppy You could do it for cats and dogs, and the company would be called Raining Cats and Dogs.
41:54James Buckley:Beautiful. But raincoats already exist for dogs. They do, yeah. And I think that would cover it better than an umbrella. It already works. You're looking in the wrong place, Yolanda. The markets, there's no space for that. It's already covered. You can pop a little raincoat on a dog these days and ages. Yeah. This day and age. Yeah. And you can, and that would be better than the umbrella. Umbrella, yeah. Because they're going to be knocking into stuff. Exactly, yeah. It's not going to work. This is terrible, guys. What are you doing? Sorry, Yolanda. I'm out. I'm out. Mark, we've got one from Mark.
42:29Come on, Mark. You've got to help us out here, mate. Please. Mark says, howdy, buckaroos. I'd like to put forward my idea for your deliberation. I call the app TipTap. Okay. It came from my wife and I arguing over tipping in restaurants. As a tight Yorkshireman, my criteria for tipping is much higher than my wife, who used to work in the hospitality sector, who feels it's a given after most meals out. Do you tip a set amount? Do you tip a percentage? Do you tip at all? Tip Tap was born. You set an agreed tipping amount, i.e. 10%. On the screen, either side of the starting tip is a plus and a minus.
43:16The waiter is friendly, takes your coat, makes small talk.
43:20James Buckley:Love that. Tap the plus. Yeah. 10 becomes 11. 11 becomes 12. Right. Et cetera. The waiter ignores you, is intrusive, doesn't know the specials. You tap the minus. Right. And see that tip quickly disappear. The reasons for plus and minus are unique and to your preference. So you can set those yourself. Of course. And at the end of the meal, enter the total bill and it works out the tip for you. Safe in the knowledge, it's fair. Unless services included. Don't get me started, says Mark. Now, I do kind of like this. You tip, you tap, you tip, tap. I am coming from both ends of that because I used to be, I was a barmaid.
44:07James Buckley:I was a waitress, but I also am a firm believer in the tip should reflect the service. I hate this whole, well, it's, well, yeah, included, which I don't really mean that much. But when your service is crap, when you've asked for ketchup four times and they never bring it, I do think it's like, well, why am I tipping you 20 %? You were shit. I love that idea. Now here. And also it incentivizes good service. Right. So that was my question. Because you could be like, listen, I'm using TikTok today. So you look after me. This will be going up. Don't you worry about that. That was my question. Would the waiter see?
44:44James Buckley:Are we brave enough to do that? Where the tip tap is maybe on a... Because you know when you go to restaurants in America, there's little screens. I think you do have to... Do we have it in the restaurant where the waiter can see it? Restaurants could... Yeah, that's it. Restaurants could bring them out. And then we're all being honest right from the go. Restaurants could have a little tablet and, you know... Yeah. Okay, Mark. Mark, well done. Thank God you saved this feature at the end. I'm in. I'm in. Also, Mark does say despise the podcast. Five stars. Oh, OK. Thanks. Thank you. Brilliant idea.
45:19Genuinely brilliant idea, Mark. Really good. Really good. I think it just stops any argument.
45:25James Buckley:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK. All right. Well, get back in touch. How much do you need? What's the percentage? What are you cutting us in for, mate? Let's talk. Brilliant. Listen, Claire. Yeah. That's the end. That's the end of the episode. Wow. Are you surprised by that? I'm surprised. Okay. I'm appalled. But that's it for this week's episode of The Buckleys. Thank you for listening. Remember, you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at The BuckleysPod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify.
46:01James Buckley:I mean, it's just not even what. Or whatever podcast app that you like to use. It's just one big what. And if you're feeling extra generous, why not go ahead and leave us a review? All that is left is for Claire to say... I'm thinking about food. I'm thinking about restaurants and food. I'm thinking about going to a restaurant. All that is left is for Claire to say... See you next Thursday. Donna Chiefs! Chiefs!
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From the publisher
James and Clair CLASH this week as competition brings out their worst sides in Buckley vs Buckley. Plus, James is in a sharing mood as he reveals the Inbetweeners group chat with a name that could get them all cancelled… and a ‘special’ birthday bedroom fantasy he wants to pitch to Clair. We also hear some of your best, and worst, business ideas in our shiny new feature: Buckley’s Bunker.
You can be a part of the podcast too by emailing your messages to: thebuckleys@platformmedia.uk or by dropping us a DM @thebuckleyspod
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