Clair and James Buckley's WORST JOBS

0:00Clair Buckley:Hi there, I am fully charged and here to tell you, Toy Story 5 is now on Disney+. Woody! It's been too long, cowboy. Woody, Buzz and Jessie are back for a brand new adventure with some seriously cool new tech. What? Holy butterscotch! You said it, Jessie. So, save your batteries and watch the global phenomenon at home. And the best part? It's perfect for the whole family. Power up your movie night and watch Disney and Pixar's Toy Story 5, now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG. The Crispy Chicken Crunchwrap Slider is back at Taco Bell. The slider-sized crunchwrap with nuggets inside you loved the first time, now with a spicy kick you're going to love this time.

0:43Hidden Valley Diablo Ranch. Or you could order some crispy all-white meat nuggets on their own. Pretty sure you love those anytime. Every time. Okay, all of the times. The Crispy Chicken Crunchwrap Slider.

0:54Clair Buckley:A brand new classic is back, only at Taco Bell. I participate in U.S. talk about locations for a limited time and while supplies last.

1:32Clair Buckley:I woke up today thinking about something that annoyed me decades ago. Do you remember Stomp? F***ing hours of people banging on shit. And then someone else would join in. And then it would become a big thing and it'd be a big crescendo. And then suddenly there's f***ing 30 people. And then it would stop. As an ex-barmaid, the coffee will kill you. What? Have an orange juice. Give me a f***ing break. Now I'm trying to froth milk. Remember weird an estate agent that you got like obsessed with? Joe! It was Joe! Yeah, yeah. I'm getting red.

2:11Oh man. I've done it again.

2:14Clair Buckley:What's wrong? You can't see the mic. You've wore orange. And you're wearing two stripe. They're not two stripe. Uh oh, you're wearing two stripe. They're not two stripe. Where'd you get those from? Tesco's? No. I got them from that Australian brand that I love. Claire's wearing two-stripe. Two-stripe are cool now. Yeah. I don't conform to the three. Well, you're wearing three-stripe trainers. Yeah, so I'm both. I'm cool and a consumer. Yeah. What are we doing? Podcast. Again. We're doing a podcast. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to the Buckleys, the podcast where we sit down and have a chat. moan a bit and invite you into our lives.

2:57Before we get into it, we just want to remind you that

3:00Clair Buckley:you can get in touch with your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you do enjoy the show, I've gone a bit wogan. Should I do this? Should I do the whole podcast, wogan? Why not? And if you do enjoy the show, why not go ahead and leave us a review after.

3:29Clair Buckley:That's not a bad Wogan. Is it not? That was all right. I didn't know I had Wogan in the locker. Okay. Well, there you go. Oh, dear. Do you remember that, what was it, Children in Need? Yeah. Do you remember one year they were doing these adverts for Children in Need and they had Wogan with a big, like, muscly body? No, I don't remember that. I just had a flashback to that. he had like a body they'd sort of like CGI'd his head onto like a bodybuilder's body right and it was just Wogan with an oily bodybuilder's body and what was the point of it? I don't know I can't remember I just got that image in my head well you whatever turned you on yeah well I didn't say it turned me on relax why are you thinking about it all the time then?

4:09Clair Buckley:it's sexy oh dear dear oh dear oh dear Claire how are you? okay good good yeah got into another phone call for it didn't I? So Jude's birthday's coming up. As of recording, it's in a few days' time. It is, yeah. And I'd spent a fortune on a hockey stick for Jude. He needed a new hockey stick. Yes. Because he's growing mental. He's really shooting up that one. Yeah, it's insane. Paid extra for faster delivery as well. Waiting for this thing to turn up. Still not arrived. Talking to someone on the phone, saying, where is it? They say, it's been delivered. Stalemate. You haven't delivered it. Yes, we have.

4:50Clair Buckley:So I wasn't sure what to do. I said, is there any photo evidence of the package being left? They said it was handed to a resident checkmate. I thought, I've got you now because it's not here. You hear me on the phone. You're like, who are you talking to? I was like, I'm chasing up Jude's hockey stick. You're like, it's here. It's here. I've got it. Yeah. I hid it. I know. I was like, yeah, exactly. Yeah. You had to be hidden. Yeah. So I didn't know it had been delivered. No, I forgot to tell you. And I, this is the worst. You called him a liar. I was, well, I was trying to get to the bottom of...

5:23Clair Buckley:In a roundabout way, you didn't say that word. Now, what was really bad was that I think he could probably hear you telling me that it's been delivered. So I had to apologise to the guy. And that is the worst way to win an argument. Oh, you still won. No, I didn't. I lost. Yeah. If you're ever arguing with someone, never apologise. You instantly lose the argument there and then. Yeah. So I had to say sorry. And we laughed about it afterwards. And now we're great friends. But your first instinct when you came off the phone, you were like, why did you move it? Why did you put it in there? And I was like, because it's Jude's birthday present and it literally says on the box, hockey stick.

6:08Clair Buckley:Yeah. In the shape of a big hockey stick. And I was like, wow. I just, it did slip my mind. I don't know who's to blame. You should maybe have checked. with me if it had come before you went ahead. In my defence, you put it in that room with the washing machine in it. Utility. And I'm never fucking going in there, am I, Kai? So how was I supposed to know the thing had been delivered? Yeah, I know. And actually, that is why I put it in there, because nobody in our house goes in there apart from me. I knew Jude wouldn't go in there either. Why would you? To help mum Maybe take the wet clothes out and put them in the dryer Maybe do some folding Anyway, thanks for that I lost an argument, which I hate doing Yeah I was sorry Have you used an inappropriate coat hanger to hang that up?

7:03Clair Buckley:No, no You look like you're wearing little pointy shoulder pads This has never been hung This is fresh out of the packet today Right they've hung it on a on a coat hanger that's sticking it no no no it's just quite um it looks like paper mashing yeah i bought it we're talking about james's top by the way for people not watching um you know i bought this top and i i did look at myself in the mirror i was like god that's a weird um fit they're very you've got like sort of like like an evil you'd make this is like what you'd make a tote bag out of or something yeah yeah it doesn't look comfortable it's not very no okay but like i say i bought it so i was like i suppose i better wear it yeah well speaking of comfort i've got a little confession to make go on this isn't a pajama top okay let me just be clear on that no however you do use it i do go to bed wearing this yeah and I didn't wear it last night.

8:03Clair Buckley:No. But I got up this morning. I couldn't be bothered to like think about clothes and I saw it sitting on my chair and I was like, fuck it. So I'm kind of wearing pyjamas. You're not. No, I'm not. It's not technically pyjamas, but it is my pyjamas. Yeah, but no one would have known. Here's something I did want to talk to you about, Claire. Okay. Now, here's a question for you. Is there anything that you wished you had learned but you never did? Like a skill, like an instrument or something like that? Oh, yeah. Well, the first thing that actually came to my mind was because when I was younger, in my early teens, I was learning to play drums.

8:48Clair Buckley:Right. And my dad even bought me a drum set out in the garage and I took it very seriously. but for a very short space, short amount of time. Yeah, we know what that's like. And I wish I had stuck at that. I wish I could play the drums properly. Yeah. I wish I could, like, really do it. Yeah, that would have been cool. Yeah, yeah. We've got a drum kit. I know, I know we do. And I'm not, like, terrible. I can carry a little beat and stuff, but I really wish I'd stuck at it and I could do it really good. Yeah, you can do like a basic, what do they call it, 4-4, 2-4 beat or something. Yeah. I always wished that I'd learned how to skateboard.

9:34Right.

9:35Clair Buckley:I really do. You're kind of obsessed with skateboarding, actually. You're always buying documentaries on skateboarders. I know. Ever since I was a kid, I've always watched skateboarding videos. Yeah. Always appreciated it. I've always like, fucking hell, it's so good what they can do. and I'm always dead impressed. And I always wish that I learned to skateboard. There was a few years ago. I was going to say, did you ever try? I used to have skateboards and stuff as a kid. So did the boys, don't they? I could stand up on them and skate and go down a hill and stuff like that. But I never once worked out how you ollie.

10:10Clair Buckley:I tried to. It just didn't make sense. It was like you kick off and you slide your foot forward. and that motion sort of makes you ollie or whatever and i was just like this doesn't make sense this goes against physics right and i loved all the culture as well and it's very sort of in with jackass yeah i was gonna say i think that's sort of part of the time and i remember my big brother being really into skateboarding and stuff and everybody was obsessed with tony hawk for a while oh yeah and the video game came out yeah that was yeah one of my most favorite ever video games yeah my brother used to wear like baggy jeans with like a chain like a chain with his wallet connected to it good yeah good stuff no but i do i like the culture i like the i like the videos i just wish i just i just can't i can i love everything about skateboarding i just can't do it myself right yeah and there was a time we've got skateboards at home i know we've got quite a good one as well i bought the kids were into it for a little while i bought judah proper birdhouse which I think is Tony Hawks' brand or something like that skateboard and I've got like I've bought skateboard decks off of like signed by Steve Owen Yeah you do, yeah that's right I do, I just wish there was a few years ago when I was in America and I was working out there but I wasn't like I wasn't working every day and you and the kids were at home and I didn't really have much to do with my time and I didn't really know anyone over there Were you thinking about buying a skateboard and just going in a skate park every day.

11:43Clair Buckley:No, I was Googling adult skateboard lessons. Aww. I Googled, like, one-on-one personal trainer but with a skateboarder. Oh, my God. And specifically for people in their 30s. Right, yeah, okay. And, yeah, no, there was a few about it. I sort of chickened out. You didn't do it? No, chickened out. I was worried about, because the only thing is is that I'd have to buy those, I don't even know if you get them anymore I remember when I was a kid you could get those wrist guards and there was like a piece of plastic that would go over your palms you do yeah because I used to hate grazing my palms it's the worst pain in the world you know when you're a little kid and you're running and then maybe you run a bit too fast and your head is sort of too heavy for your body and you start sort of flapping forward and you can't stop yourself and then you land on your hands and then you graze your hands and it stings and it's all hot And I was like, oh, if I did learn to skateboard, I'd have to get those things on wrist guards as well.

12:46And that put you off.

12:47Clair Buckley:I just think that the other kids would tease me. The other 30-year-olds taking their lessons. The skateboard part. I used to have to take the boys to our little local skate park loads. They were really into it. Do you know what, man? It's fucking terrifying as well. And they'd go down and you'd look at this like, there was like a, what do you call that? Yeah, ramp. Yeah, because there was also like half pipes and stuff like that. Again, the bigger boys were on. They were, yeah. They looked well good doing it. They were like dropping in and stuff like that. And I was, and you look at this ramp, it must have been.

13:23Clair Buckley:Four feet high, maybe? Yeah, like a 20 degree angle or something like that. And I was like, go on then, I'll give it a go. I got to the top of it, I said the top of it, stepped up onto it. Yeah. And then got one of the boys' skateboards and looked down and I was like, Like, fucking hell, there's no way I can do this. Because we kept saying to the boys, come on, we've been taking you here for ages. You've got to do it. You've got to just do it. Eventually, they started doing it. They did start doing it. And it was like, yeah, well done. And I was doing that thing going, yeah, that's really great.

13:50Clair Buckley:But in the back of my head, I was going, that's shit. When are you going to fucking move on to something else? And they're like, go on, Dad, you do it. I was going, yeah, all right, I'll give it a go. And I was like, I can't fucking do this. Yeah, no, it is. It looked like I was standing on the top of the Empire State Building or something. But also because they're so... Skateboards, they just fly away from you. It's really hard to control them. So what? Are we going to do it? You're going to learn drums. I'm going to become a skateboarder. It would maybe make us a bit cooler, actually. That sounds like a cool mum and dad.

14:20Clair Buckley:Yeah? No? I think you learning the drums is cool. I think me learning to skateboard might not be. Well, it depends how good you are, Edith. That'd be brilliant. Well, then it's cool. That'd be amazing. It's cool. Claire, I've got a retro moan. What does that mean? I woke up today thinking about something that annoyed me decades ago. I'll talk about that on the podcast. You're not even running out of stuff that annoys you? Yeah, no, I'll never run out of that. But I've also got decades of stuff in the bank as well. Right, okay. So what hit you this morning? Do you remember the musical? I don't know if it was a musical to be honest I don't know if you could call it a musical Stomp Is that Ben Lids?

15:07Clair Buckley:Yeah Yeah You remember that? Yeah Stomp I remember that Okay So I did That is annoying I did music GCSE And one afternoon We had to spend the whole afternoon Watching the video of Stomp Right Not even going Yeah On a school trip or something To go and see it Yeah They wheeled in the big television and they pop the video in, press play, and we had to sit there for a couple of hours and just watch this thing. Right. Now, the thing about, like, percussion, the drums, right, out of all the instruments, that's the one instrument that needs something else to go with it. Yes. You could have a guitar on its own.

15:47Clair Buckley:Yeah. You could have a piano on its own. Yeah. You know, some woodwinds and flutes or whatever. They'd probably work for a harmonica. You could listen to a harmonica on its own. I mean, you can listen to drums on their own. Yeah, for a little while. for a little while okay fucking hours of people banging on shit yeah and they're not even proper drums no and you go oh that's interesting they're making a drum out of that bin brilliant and for the 30 seconds you go oh that good and then you want to get on with your life absolutely I fucking sat there honestly for about two hours right and then she wanted to ask us questions or something about the performance and all this yeah And honestly, I don't know how that was a thing stomp.

16:31Clair Buckley:I don't know how. It was just, and it was the same thing. It would just be like someone just sort of like.

16:44Clair Buckley:And then someone else would join in. And then it would become a big thing and it'd be a big crescendo. And then suddenly there's fucking 30 people all banging at slightly different times. And then it would stop. and then the lights would come up again and then someone would get a brush and just go... And then it would go back again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? So the problem for you is it's too long. That whole show could have been a minute and a half and you'd go, oh, that's good. Right, yeah, got it. But you sit there and you go, this can't be the whole fucking thing. Is someone going to sing a song or something?

17:21Clair Buckley:You know, is there going to be some sort of melody? Didn't they do some backflips and stuff? I think there might have been some backflips involved at some point. I don't know why I remembered it this morning. I just remember being furious, how angry I was. Okay. Okay. No, I get that. I would have rather have gone to maths or something. I get that, yeah. It reminds me as well of the blue people. Yeah, the blue man group. What the fuck is that? They were huge as well for ages, weren't they? That was basically just the same thing for... Or it was... It was pipes or something, wasn't it? Yeah. And they're blue.

18:00Yeah, why were they blue?

18:01Clair Buckley:I don't know. They've got to fucking do something, haven't they? Yeah. You know what I mean? That's why I don't get that about dance either. Watching a dance act. Watching just dance. Yeah. You know, different strokes for different folks. I like Irish dancing. I like river dance and stuff like that. I'm not even just saying that because you used to do it. I didn't just use to do it, but carry on. Yeah, right, yeah, yeah. but I do like that's genuinely impressive what do you want to do do you want to go for a swipe I'd love a little swipe right now we'll have a little swipe and then we're going to we're going to be talking about stuff that gets on in the workplace gets on or goes on I don't know goes on in the workplace this episode is brought to you by Apocalypse on Channel 4 realistically how long do you think we're lasting in an apocalypse Claire?

18:49I mean me I think a while you if anything i think you're gonna hold me back yeah you'll probably get a bit further on your own

18:56Clair Buckley:yeah right let's set the scene you're in an abandoned town without food water electricity you're fending for yourself you're still confident so what's your plan of action then claire find shelter shelter get boarded up yeah go and get some food maybe try and get some medical supplies sure and then get back to your shelter like it logical yeah i just look forward to repopulating in the earth. Well, that is what the show Apocalypse is all about, apart from the repopulating stuff. What would you do if modern lives came to an end? I hate this already. Two groups must survive 28 days in an abandoned town.

19:34No food, no nothing. Push to their limits. If you take, you die. Will they make it to the end? Survival is the fittest. See, it's all about using your smarts to survive. Sorry, you might struggle there.

19:48Clair Buckley:Cheers. Stream Apocalypse now on Channel 4 Espolon Tequila It arrives in a cloud of feathers With a cry to wake the dead Espolon Tequila Balanced, delicious Perfect for nights out, nights in And people who like to drink tequila Just add ice, lime and your mouth Then hold on time 100 % agave, 0 % ego Espolon Tequila For a real margarita, ride the rooster Espelon Tequila, 40 % alcohol by volume, 80 proof. Copyright 2026, Compari America, New York, New York. Drink responsibly. We're talking about only in the workplace. Okay. I don't agree with that in the workplace. Shit, what is that? You know what it is.

20:33Clair Buckley:I know. It was my thing on Mastermind. Oh, is that on the office? And I don't agree with that in the workplace. Who's it? Do you not know who Eric Hitchmo is? Okay. Oh, yeah. Right, yeah. Before all this, we had other jobs, didn't we, Claire? We did. I worked I was fitting kitchens Yeah I worked for the home office for a bit Yeah Worked in retail What um What jobs did I have? Yeah My first job was working in the co-op Worked in the co-op Stacking shelves Funeral directors Stacking shelves in the funeral directors Yeah I worked Just dead bodies Yeah I worked in Johnny Walker's You did yeah The factory Packaging up whiskey Yeah I worked in Oh you would like this I worked in Bravissimo which is a bra shop and I was I got that's where we met yeah I kept telling you that they wouldn't fit you but you insisted that I fit you for one oh and I worked in a pub worked in a bar yeah that was probably my favourite yeah barmaid was probably my favourite job if you could have any other job than the one you have now what would it be?

21:39an embalmer yeah I would genuinely quite like to do that no you wouldn't I would or if I was really clever like if I'd done it all properly I would like to be in the police.

21:54Clair Buckley:I thought you'd want to be a forensic detective. Well yeah, like in the police, like working like proper like crime. Yeah, homicide. You'd be a dodgy cop though, wouldn't you? No, no. You're saying this now just in case. No, I definitely wouldn't, no. You'd be on the take. No, well maybe. You'd shoot Serpico in the face. That's what you'd do. No, I wouldn't. I would love to do that, though. I don't know what I'd do. Never wanted a job, which is why I've ended up doing what I'm doing. Yeah. I didn't want to work. Boring. Well, you always wanted to be an actor, didn't you? Yeah, that was it, really.

22:31Clair Buckley:Well, Claire, some of our listeners have sent in some of their best workplace stories. Sorry, I've said some of their too many times. Here is a message from Ollie, who is an estate agent. Ollie says hire Claire and James long time listener first time emailer here remember weird an estate agent that you got like obsessed with because you just thought he was the coolest guy in the world it was a bit weird it was a bit weird I had this sort of like cooler older brother crush on him yeah you did like your mate's cooler older brother he was younger than me he was very suave and cool he was just quite cool he showed us like a handful obviously this is years ago he showed us like a handful of houses Joe Joe it was Joe yeah I was just remembering his name oh my god yeah and every time I'm going red every time every time we would leave him Joe would just be like he's so cool I was like do you reckon I could like just be like do you want to go for a pint I was like he was cool he was quite handsome and he was just like you know he was just sort of like he wore a really nice suit yeah yeah and I was like had like a cool watch yeah yeah you're like oh you're a bit obsessed with Joe, an estate agent for a while.