EMBARRASSING Clubbing Stories

0:00For adults with Crohn's disease or ulcerative colitis symptoms, every choice matters. Tremphaya offers self-injection or intravenous infusion from the start. Tremphaya is administered as injections under the skin or infusions through a vein every four weeks, followed by injections under the skin every four or eight weeks. If your doctor decides that you can self-inject Tremphaya, proper training is required. Tremphaya is a prescription medicine used to treat adults with moderately to severely active Crohn's disease and adults with moderately to severely active ulcerative colitis. Serious allergic reactions, increased risk of infections or lower ability to fight them, and liver problems may occur.

0:40Before treatment, get checked for infections and tuberculosis. Tell your doctor if you have an infection, flu-like symptoms, or need a vaccine. Explore what's possible. Ask your doctor about Tremphaya today. Call 1-800-526-7736 to learn more or visit Tremfiaradio.com. This episode is brought to you by Petivity. Cat parents are basically mealtime detectives. Who actually ate? Did they finish? Was that less than yesterday? The new Petivity Smart Feeder for Cats turns everyday meals into meaningful health insights, helping you identify changes in your cat's habits and be more proactive about their health.

1:19Plus, you can feed them from anywhere. Take the mystery out of mealtime. Visit Petivity.com, P-E-T-I-V-I-T-Y.com slash catfeeder to learn more. This episode is brought to you by ADT. One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home. You're miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT security systems can monitor your home 24-7. They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry, so you're always supported during an emergency. When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com to learn more. I know Noel hates the in-betweeners.

2:02He's been very open about that. What do you call you? Call me a c***. Let's do it. Let's have a fight. Imagine that. Have you seen the Ronaldo documentary? No. Ronaldo just goes, I am the best footballer in the world and you are the best agent in the world.

2:22He just laughs like an insane person. I like the moustache. It's a funny look. I like it. It's tickly as well. Anything. Anyway, I flustered myself.

2:38I am hitting the Barocca hard. You can, Dan. I am hitting it hard, mate. Should I do this podcast? Yeah. Hello, you. and welcome to the Buckleys, the podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit and invite you into our lives. I'm going to try and make eye contact with the camera a bit more when I read this. I make eye contact with the camera all the time because I do a thing where like I know that you've annoyed me and they'll back me up so I'm always like... So you're doing like a Tim Canterbury? The office, yeah. Yeah, yeah. yeah um no i i watched a recent podcast oh that was yeah i haven't done that for a long time for about a year right how was it i just was annoyed that um i was just reading the intro like this all the time okay here's your moment um before we get into it we just want to remind you that you can get in touch with your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on instagram and tiktok and don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use and if you do enjoy the show, why not go ahead and leave us a five-star review?

3:53I'd appreciate it. Well done. You'll be on this morning before you know it. Oh, God, what a gig. What a fucking gig that would be. Do you think? Oh, yeah, you get tied down for about 15 years. You do it. You've got a job for life unless you really fuck it up. Right. it's a real gravy train. It's really, really difficult to fuck that job up. You need to get up early though. I bet they have to be there quite early. You do four days a week. Oh, yeah. You do two hours of work. Yeah. Sure, you've got to get up early in the morning, but you're done by midday. Yeah, true. You've got the rest of the day to do whatever the fuck you want.

4:28You get paid a fortune to do it. You get the summer holidays off with the kids. Every half term, it's always like, because they always do a story. Yes, they do guest presenters. They'll be like, it's this morning's presenter's last show. They say, it's not really. They've just taken the six weeks holiday off to be with the kids. It's fucking brilliant. They don't have to do Fridays. Right. They get the B team in. Right. In fact, I'd rather be the B team. One day a week. One day a week. Yeah, yeah. But they take over for the summer holidays then. So you wouldn't have to spend any time with the kids either?

5:03Yeah, yeah. what did i want to talk about that was not what i wanted to talk about um claire yes do you remember when they were making lasagna out of horse meat that was fucking wild wasn't it that's right that was nuts and i remember it was like a big like news story and stuff was about 15 years ago now no surely it wasn't that long ago i feel like It was like 2009, 2010. Oh, no. But I remember at the time how outraged everyone was. Yeah. Because it is a bit of a piss take. No, that's insane. I remember thinking. Oh, no, James. Who cares? No. Say if you managed to find some way to cook a piece of broccoli or a Brussels sprout or something, but it looked like, I don't know, mince meat or right and i ate it and i was going god what did you go to the butchers get this that's really good that is and you went no that's actually brussels sprouts right i've made it just look and taste like me that's very different james i'd go fucking hell that's amazing yeah that is amazing that's a good thing listen i don't actually eat a lot of meat to be fair i think eventually i'll stop eating meat altogether mate we've stopped drinking on the podcast now we're gonna fucking and become vegan or something.

6:28No, not vegan. Oh, Christ. Not vegan, but just when you see... No, but where do you draw the line? Because I know what you're going to say. The little cows in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's awful. It's terrible. Oh, I don't like it. They taste so good, though. They're so tasty. But isn't there so much nowadays, like, good fake meat that tastes... Like, a lot of people I hear say that they can't tell the difference. Have you had the Greggs vegan sausage roll? No, why would I? They've got normal ones right next to them. I know, but it's not, it's not, I was actually like, oh, that's not bad, to be fair.

7:02Yeah. I'm going to get you one. Do they do any other vegan stuff? Do they do like a vegan pasty? I don't get the sausage roll from Gregg's anyway. No, you don't. That's Jude's order in it, sausage roll. I get the sausage, bean and cheese. That's actually not true. Go on. You get everything from Gregg's. Well, I do a thing. You get one of each pasty from Gregg's. I do a thing where it's like, oh, I've got a medley of pasties. Yeah. What? What's wrong with that? It's fine. No, it's good. What have I said there? No, I didn't expect medley. It's fine. It's fine. An ensemble, a pasty ensemble. God, I fucking love Greg's.

7:36Have you got anything to moan about, by the way? I've got some stuff to moan about. Before I get to that, though, I've got some bad news. What? The mullet is sticking around for a little while longer. But you're finished your Netflix thing now? I've wrapped on the woods, yeah, but I'm going straight into my next film. Right. And there's no prizes for guessing what that is in the comments. but yeah I'm a I'm a mullet man for a bit they're keeping the mullet as well yeah why? because it looks funny right okay I think the moustache is going oh no moustache is just for me now I feel like the moustache is the only thing that makes the hair look alright sort of works with the hair doesn't it the moustache sort of makes sense I think bare faced mullet is going to look crazy clean shaven mullet oh god clean shaven mullet oh god Okay.

8:25Maybe keep the moustache. We'll see. I'll see how it go. I like the moustache. I would push for the moustache. All right. And again, it is funny. It's a funny look. I like it. It's tickly as well. Yeah.

8:42Where?

8:46Anything. Anyway, I flustered myself.

8:53looking big talk I'm over here gone red gone red I can feel I've gone red yeah anything what are you talking about have you got anything you'd like to moan about no but do you know what I realised about myself the other day so I met up with a friend that I hadn't seen for quite a while right yeah because we're not going to the pub that much anymore because we're not really doing anything oh no oh that's a disaster oh my god he's got it on the couch he's got it on the couch that by the way let's all just that's your fault no no no wipe that before it sets in it's not my fault can I get some tissue or something can I just say this is the stupid fucking lid um you're right god what is happening we're falling apart here this is the stupid fucking you can't remove the lid from the top so you can't really get the angle right to put the lid back on and now I'm in this situation.

9:52Who's this benefiting? Who's this benefiting? The ocean. I put the lids, I put the lids where they're supposed to go. But what maniac, but they're even not recycling or they are. What maniac is throwing the bottle away but going, the lid's going straight in the ocean? Yeah, I know. I know, that is my argument as well. The attached lids are very annoying. What are you shaking it for? It's fine. Because I've got all bits in it. Look, I'm covered.

10:22I'm not going to be able to carry on No, hold on, we'll take a second Should just stick to the beer That's what you get for having a Barocca Glass bottles or cans, no plastic involved at all whatsoever That's true Sorry about that Claire, what were you talking about before I derailed us? So I met up with a friend who I hadn't seen for a while. And we were catching up, right? And we were talking for a little while. And then she said some words to me, right? And I mean, I already knew this about myself, but it was just the excitement I felt. She said the words. Okay, can I just be really horrible about somebody for a second?

11:11and I was like, absolutely. What are you got to say? I'm so excited right now. Give it to me. Tell me. What is it? And I could feel the excitement in me. What was it? Well, I'll tell you later. Oh, what? I can't say it because it is horrible. Oh, that's annoying. And it is about somebody. It's about a real person. You're blue balling our listeners there. No, but the point was... Your little gossip tart. Troy was, I wondered if anybody else just loved, because you actually don't. Like I'll come home and I'll say to you, I'll say to you, oh my God, do you want to hear what so-and-so told me today?

11:55And you're like, oh, no, is it about somebody else? Is it bad? You're a bit like, oh, no, because I told you some gossip the other day. My problem is, is that I'm not good with secrets. Don't fucking tell me gossip. Because that is a secret. Don't tell me gossip because I don't, I'm not good at secrets. No. I'm not good at secrets at all whatsoever but this wasn't that so it wasn't even gossip or a secret it was just bitchy it was just like can I be really can I just slag someone off can I just really get into something here and I was like I am all ears hit me yeah I'm your girl and then I was just thinking like just how excited I was about it I was like I wonder if other people have got that or whether you have to be a bit mean most people do I don't really get it you don't like it when I come home and say oh can i tell you what so and so say yeah you do you're a bit like if there's anything i'm supposed to know or if i was supposed to hear then i would have heard it and also james is one of these people right where he'll go with maybe someday that you know maybe something's been going on maybe we've heard some stuff and he'll come home and i'll be like did you ask like about or what happened there or what was he saying?

13:09And you're like, I don't know. I didn't ask anything. I'm like, so boring and annoying. It's not boring and annoying. It's simple. Life's better when you just sort of concentrate on yourself. No, I like it when it doesn't involve me. It's really easy to slag other people off. It's really easy to be like, oh, God, this person did this. It's not about slagging them off. It's just about, you know, it's just about knowing the deets. Yeah. I love the details sometimes. You like the deets, don't you? It depends what mood I'm in, though, to be fair. You like the fine print. I need to know... You like the T's and C's.

13:41I need to know everything before I make a decision on whose side I'm on. Right. Anyway, that just really excited me. I had a great old chat. Yeah. And she made some very good points. Right. And I agreed with a lot of them. I bet you did. Mean girls. Yeah. I'm actually in quite a good mood, considering. I came in a bit hot when I first arrived today. today. I was a bit angry. Yeah, there was a lot of annoying people today on the way in. There was a few annoying people yeah, but I was also fueling the fire. Just, I spent the whole journey in watching videos of cyclists being dickheads. Right, there was a couple of them on the road.

14:23And you stormed away from me this morning. I didn't storm. You did? You walked so far ahead of me. I was behind you and I was... I thought you were behind me. I was, you never turned around once to see where I was. I thought you were right behind me. And I was watching you getting further and further ahead and I was furious at you. It's because people were dilly-dallying trying to get off the train. I was on the chair, fucking, nothing against them, middle-aged woman and a gaggle of them. There was. There was. They were all excited about their trip to London. They were very loud as well. They all stood up.

14:58So you go, right, fair enough, you stood up so you must be in a rush. sure you've got to get off the train first. Just fucking turning around, talking to a mate. So when I finally did see a gap in the middle-aged woman. Yeah, you took it. You hopped off. I thought you were right behind me. You know it was a tiny gap. You hopped off and you fucking sprinted to the end of the train station because by the time I got off, you were gone. I had to get away. Honestly, and I could see this little green dot. And I was watching you and I was going, he's still not turned around. He still doesn't know where I am.

15:29I thought you were behind me. there's a difference between thinking and taking two seconds to look and knowing yeah you can be wrong you can think something and be wrong why didn't you check where I was because I thought you were behind me I could have fell down the gap for all you and you I honestly I honestly thought you were like on my like I could feel as if someone was oh no there was nobody there there was nobody keeping up with you yeah no but I was just I was angry it was an angry journey for me and I shouldn't watch stuff on social media that makes me angry No, that's a stupid thing to do.

16:02It was just chucking up all this stuff for me. Right. Just cyclists clearly in the wrong. Videos of cyclists clearly in the wrong, but acting like they're fucking holier than thou. Why are you harping it? I don't know. I'm not sure.

16:23I just cheered up a little bit. Okay. Anyway, should we take a swipe? Yeah, because I want to talk. we've got some stuff to talk about some actual stuff great not that nonsense that we just did just then let's have a swipe we'll be back in a sec do you know what we're going to talk about now we're going to talk about nights out we are nights out we've had a few I've heard that big nights out like loads of drinks bit of clubbing getting into adventures adventures finish off with a kebab they aren't as popular anymore apparently Gen Z aren't feeling it now I know I've slagged off Gen Z for being a bit boring and for trying to encourage them to be young and stupid and enjoy yourself and laugh at yourself while you're young.

17:09The clubbing thing, I agree with. I do agree with clubbing. It was awful. Now, because me and you met when we were quite young. 2021? No. I was 21. I must have been 22 then. even then like if I had said I think well in our whole relationship I think we've been in a club together once or twice literally you just you are not you don't like it I mean to be fair it is you are in the in between us and anytime you go into that no I didn't like it before I was in the in between us oh okay I used to be the driver for nights out right it's fucking boring I mean, I better get involved because all my mates are doing it.

17:57Yeah. Because I used to love, and I still do, the pub. Yes. I used to absolutely love the pub. And every sort of a Friday or a Saturday, you'd start in the pub. And then you would end up, yeah. And then it'd get to about 10 o 'clock and you'd be like, right, I've probably got one or two more drinks in me and then I'll call it a night. And they'd be like, right, we're going to head into Romford now. Right. And my heart would sink. I didn't mind it so much if I knew we were going to a club because like I say I wouldn't drink I'd just drive so then I could fuck off because my mates are all lunatics as well yeah we'd end up fucking there'd be someone we wouldn't end up fucking they're not that you really should have a drink before that it does help no but one of them would end up having a round with a bouncer or someone else there so I just want to get away yeah I remember one time my mate massive bloke out of his nut he was leaning against the wall like by the stairs right this club they had those what are those what's that lighting called where it comes out the wall you know we got those ones in the kitchen wall light yeah well alright is that what it's called a wall light the little round ones we've got yeah yeah wall light yeah but more of a more of a candly looking one like a sconce yeah I don't know what a sconce is but I don't know why this was important to me because he was standing next to one and he just went oh Buckley watch this and he just smashed it oh no that's terrible behaviour there was a bouncer right there and he smashed it it was like so instant I was stood in front of him he went oh Buckley watch this smash and then he just went what?

19:42to the bouncer oh my god you know what I do and they chucked him out. All that nonsense, I couldn't be bothered with. Yeah, no, that's mental. The pub was so good. The pub was so great because you could talk to each other, get a bit pissed, have fun, play a bit of snooker if you wanted to. But clubs, they're a rip-off. Everything costs a fortune. There's too many people in there. You can't get near the bar. The music's shit. See, I feel like the pub when I was that age was more of a boy thing. like the boys would go to the pub we would me and my friends would sit in like somebody's house we would all get ready at somebody's house so I would always be like at Claire's or whatever we wouldn't leave the house obviously we would have drinks and stuff we wouldn't leave there until about 10, half 10 and then you would just go to like one place and then straight to the club right now I could not think of anything worse than having to leave the house after 8pm bedtime yeah yeah but also like another reason young people would go to a club is to meet other young people yeah it's not my arena what do you mean the nightclub you never picked up a never pulled at a nightclub no because I'm not much to look at and I can't do any like I can't do any like funny quips and stuff because the fucking music is drowning me out and everything I can't like charm anyone or you know right okay it wasn't it wasn't my Show them how funny you are.

21:13No, and there's always bigger boys there and stuff with muscles and things. And so I was just like, I can't operate yet. You're not going to get what you might. So I hate, it was boring. There was nothing there for me. Right. And my other mates, they'd pull and stuff and they'd be like. You never could? No, no, never, no. Not in a club. Couldn't do it. I don't believe that. No, I couldn't do it. You never had a wee winch in a club. No, I can't think of any time that ever happened. No, honestly. The club wasn't my bit. It wasn't. So did you pull in the pub? I could pull in pubs. I could pull at gigs.

21:51There he is. There you go. Okay. But it was, the club was, I remember sometimes I'd be driving my mate and some birdies just met back. Fucking sit like a taxi driver. Just looking in the rear view mirror watching them getting off of each other. I've got to stop for petrol, is it? Do you need anything? Yeah. Some condoms. Yeah, exactly. Buckley, get some condoms. All right. Oh, Jimmy. But yeah, no, Gen Z aren't feeling it. They're not really feeling the pub either. Right, right. I mean, I don't really, I feel like I'm in a weak position this day and age. Oh my God, look. A recent poll showed that eight out of 10 young Brits now prefer to socialise through activities rather than the classic big night.

22:43Yeah. Now, I'm looking at a few of these activities and I sort of hate them all, to be honest. Okay. But I do still think these are way more interesting and fun than what it would be going to a nightclub. All right, what are some? Coffee raves. What the fuck is that? Alcohol-free daytime dance events held in cafes with coffee DJs in the atmosphere of a club night. No, not for me. Come on. That's the worst stuff of the club, all coming together at once. Yeah, and you can't get a drink. No, no. Board game cafes. Absolutely not. Supper clubs. What's that? Organised communal dinners where people eat together and often meet guests they didn't previously know.

23:23So a fucking restaurant? No, yeah, but I think you have to mingle. I think you have to sit with people that you've never spoken to before. Oh, no. Every single one of these sounds horrendous. It's not fucking weird, but still better than... No, I'd rather have brought you a club. No, because I'd be like, at least I'm going to get a fucking nice meal out of here and I can sit down. I mean, you have to talk to folk you don't know. You don't have to. I'd just be like, I'm just here with my mates, sorry. And also, but I maybe would have pulled a bit more as well if I could have fucking spoke and been a bit funny and a bit...

23:53Maybe. Bouldering. That seems like some sort of sex game. Indoor climbing without ropes on shorter walls. oh so just sort of rock climbing yeah um pickleball isn't that an old man's game no it's well it's baby tennis um it's sort of baby it's tiny little tennis yeah I've played pickleball I played it with the boys oh yeah yeah you did yeah I couldn't be bothered I was too drunk I was too drunk that's actually true you and we went with some friends and you and John just stayed in the bar yeah and me and and his missus took the kids out to play pickleball yeah and we got really really drunk what was the name of those things negronis no wasn't it called like paracetamol or something i think that's what it was called yeah it was a cocktail called a paracetamol i think that's what it was called like that but there was it's one of those cocktails that don't have anything it's just a cocktail of all alcohol penicillin that's what it was There's no like bit of orange juice in it or something.

25:00It's just whiskey and brandy and wine and beer. That was the night John didn't make it to dinner. Yes. No, he did make it to dinner. And then for two seconds. He was there for about five minutes. I've got to go. Fair enough. Run clubs. Organised group running. Not for me, that one. Cold plunge gatherings. Oh, come on, guys. I really wanted to be on their side here, No, listen, all these things are dull and boring, but I do have to admit, I'd rather do this stuff than the nightclub. No, I'd rather go to a nightclub. Listen, maybe they've not settled on a good thing to do yet. I do respect Gen Z for waking up and going, the nightclub thing.

25:53No, I get that. Who fucking likes it? I do get that. Who likes it? My answer would be just go to the pub. There's nothing better than a little day session at the pub, especially during the summer. The best. You start at two. The beer garden. We say this all the time. You start at two, you finish at eight, you've done a six-hour session at the pub, right? It's still light out. Yeah. You're home in time for bed. And something to eat. Maybe. Maybe I would have ordered some fries or something in the pub. Probably, yeah. It's the best. you're off your face you put it so lovely but there's no one you know in the alleys waiting to give us all your money and stuff like that just because it's still daylight what clubs did you go to?

26:38and also right if I was Gen Z so if I was if I was young nowadays and you were like dating and stuff I feel like if a guy said to me and this is just me I'm sure there's loads of people who would prefer this but the activity date really isn't for me it's not no I think it's a good thing though I think it's too embarrassing for the younger people I think it's too like if it was like do you want to go indoor rock climbing I'd be like I wouldn't do the indoor rock climbing no but there's loads of those places now that have popped up or crazy golf yeah a little bit of crazy golf indoor crazy golf a little bit of axe throwing and stuff like that and it's way more interesting I remember when I was like Like, if I wanted to go, so those, that period between leaving school and going to a pub and being allowed to go to a pub or whatever, it was very much like, or go clubbing, like if you wanted to take a girl out, cinema, that's all you had.

27:44Yeah, we didn't have as much places. That was it. Yeah. And if you were seeing the same girl for about three months, it would just be cinema on Nando's twice a week. The fucking same thing. I don't mind the cinema for a date, though. I think that's quite good because you don't have to talk because you're watching a film. Yeah, it takes the pressure off that a little bit. But like you say, once you've been dating for a few weeks and stuff and things are starting to become a bit, oh, you two are together now. Right. And it is just like cinema, I'll pick you up. Yeah. You didn't really take me on dates.

28:14You didn't really date me. City of Barbados, mate. Yeah, but that was like we were already together. That was like a holiday. We were together. I know it was very new but you didn't like I said do you want to do some crazy golf and you went nah fuck off you didn't really like court me you were just like right this is it then yeah I was like sure no it was very much sort of like year nine at school it was like so what are you like my girlfriend now then alright cool see you later so what are we going out yeah okay alright catch you later I think the words you said to me were so you're not gonna like go on a date with anybody else are you?