Getting On Our High Horse

19:12The Buckleys:Yeah, absolutely. And these guys are like, I've got to get down to the gym. Like, they're just so sort of like, they're just so, it's just an irony. It's like, if you need to tell people that you're a big, strong man all the time. Yes, absolutely. And it just confused me. Yeah. It didn't make me at all go, oh, God, yeah, they are very manly. I know, but the worry is, it's not aimed at you, like you said. it's like 12, 14 you know watching that but I would also say I don't I don't think it's as big a problem I don't think so and I'm only going off of I might be wrong I might be wrong possibly Katie's sucking her tic going making that face to me but like you say those 12 year old boys they're gonna get older and 90 % of them are gonna go what was all that fucking nuts that I used to but this is the thing as well right?

20:10I have got two boys.

20:11The Buckleys:I'm a bit more positive after watching it because they all look so fucking stupid and I think it's so clear and obvious unless you are just hitting puberty. Yeah, but that's our boys though. Our two boys are in that age bracket and I wouldn't, not for a second would they, now I don't know anything about these guys. I've got my own, I'm picturing my own thing and I'm sure I'm right but not for a second would any of our boys look at that and be like oh yeah our boys would look at that and be like what a prick what a fucking melt yeah exactly yeah well but obviously you don't want your kids I'd like to hope they've got a genuine healthy male role model in their lives yeah yeah they do Louis Theroux lent on this thing a little bit I love Louis Theroux yeah he's fucking brilliant I love him I'm literally a lifelong fan yeah but he lent on this little thing where I was like isn't it a coincidence how these men were brought up by mothers?

21:13The Buckleys:Well, that makes me think the opposite, though. I feel like if a boy was brought up by a single mother that they would appreciate women more. Yeah, absolutely. And I think 99 % of the time that is what happens. I think it was just a coincidence. Right. Well, I've not seen it, so I don't know. And it's not my thing. I didn't think they were the way they were because they were brought up by mothers. Because he didn't have a good male influence. But I also think if you are a son that's brought up by your mother, nine times out of ten, you are way more appreciative and respectful of women. Yeah, I think so.

21:48The Buckleys:So that was the only thing I didn't agree with that documentary. You sort of lent into that a little bit. But it was interesting. Was it? It was quite funny. Wasn't it just annoying to watch? No, no, no. Do you feel like it would just piss me off? Louis Theroux did not hold back on any occasion to mug them off. Oh, I love him. Like he really did. And not through, and you know what he's like. Yeah. Not through being malicious. No, he's very clever. It was just all the time. It was just very subtle where it was like, oh, you are, you're actually now in the room of an older gentleman who is a father, who is thoughtful, who is educated.

22:27The Buckleys:And Louis Theroux comes across as the most masculine man, which is nuts. No, I love that. When you think of that sort of... Yeah. What, are they all like muscling? Yeah, they're all like, you know, hitting the gym and stuff. And they're in, what's it called? It's one-sided monogamy or something like that they called it. What, so they're cheating? She's not allowed? Yeah. Fuck off. Really? And they're going, she prefers it that way. Oh, I'm sure she does. Yeah, I'm sure she does. Listen, weirdos will always be weirdos. They'll always be about. But it was an interesting documentary. However, I watched it and I felt quite positive because it was so ludicrous.

23:04I feel like I'd be furious.

23:05The Buckleys:I didn't know much about the people that he was doing content on. And I was just like, I just think that these may be a hit with 12, 13-year-old boys. That's what's scary, though. No, no, no. But you do grow up. I know, but people can be influenced. I had influences when I was 12 and 13. James, you were obsessed with the Space Girls when you were 13. Okay, that's not a worry. Yeah, only because I wanted to, you know, I was trying to think which order I'd do them in.

23:41The Buckleys:No, I, you know, I'd watch Jackass and all that sort of stuff and I was obsessed with that sort of thing. Yeah, but that's not the same thing. But that was very boy and masculine and gross and stuff. But you do, you go through it. Not at anybody else's detriment. Yeah, it was to their detriment. Yeah, and that's why it's funny. Yeah, I suppose. Speaking of Spice Girls, can I just bring up, because it just made me think of it, do you remember that time we met Emma Bunton? Which time? Well, I've only met her once. I know you've met her a couple of times. I've had a handful of rendezvous with Emma.

24:14The first time I was there, I have never seen James. He crumbled like a little fangirl.

24:25The Buckleys:I think I was very cool and suave and sophisticated. I don't think you are. No, you weren't. I've never seen you do that before. Was this when we were in Oxford? Yeah. I've never seen you do that before. I'll tell you what, it cramped my style a bit that her husband was there. Yeah, you weren't happy about that. He's very handsome and that was sort of getting on my nerves a little bit. You managed to elbow me out the way. I know, and I was like... I left, I was like, oh, take him Emma, take him. I've never seen you do that before. It was really funny. Are you going red? She's a lovely lady. She's a lovely lady.

25:02Yeah.

25:03The Buckleys:Well, Claire. Yeah. I tried to move you on. Where are you fucking going to go now? Listen, Louis Theroux has a way. Mr. Louis Theroux. Louis Theroux has a way with words. Listen. Do you know what today is, Claire? Oh, no. Well, of course you do. It's Shakespeare day. Oh, I love Shakespeare. You do, yeah. You do. You've got his complete works in the book. 23rd of April is the day Shakespeare was born. But you didn't see that coming, did you? And also the day that he died. He died on his 52nd birthday from a fever. That shows how far we've come. That shows how far we've come. Yeah. I know, I don't want to get into...

25:45You would have died a hundred times.

25:47The Buckleys:Oh, God, yeah. I don't want to get into the... You know, we've already spoke about Louis Theroux and him talking about people on the internet and stuff like that. We've already done serious stuff. But there is a lot of stuff of like the caveman diet and stuff like this. And it'll be some bloke. That's all his credentials, by the way, going, it is scientifically proven that this, your doctors and all these people, they're making you have this and this. You don't need it. It's not natural. And I want to go, yeah, but people were dying of a fever. Yeah. You know all those things, medicine and stuff like that, that you're always terrified of.

26:28The Buckleys:It's like, it's not natural. They didn't have medicine back in the day. Yeah, well, they died when they got to 50. All that stuff is keeping you alive. Was Shakespeare only 50 when he died? 52, Claire. Wow. And that was probably, well, and also this is a misconception as well. They always say, like, during Elizabethan times, 17th century, stuff like that, up until recently, up until very recently, by the way, that your average life expense, am I boring you, Claire? Your average life expectancy was something bizarre, like 38 or something like that. Yeah. And they make jokes on Family Guy where it's like, oh, he's lived to the ripe old age of 38, if they're doing like a little sketch or something like that.

27:13The Buckleys:That's not 100 % true. It was just because infant death was so common that it really brought the average down. But you would get to 60, 70, no problem. If you managed to get past the age of 10 back in sort of middle ages and stuff like that, you were all right for a few years. However, the likelihood of you getting to 10 was quite low. Do you not think that's interesting what I've said just then? Yeah. I can tell. Shakespeare at school. So school ruined Shakespeare for me. And I think schools are guilty of doing that. So I don't appreciate Shakespeare maybe the way I should. Well, I'll tell you why I like Shakespeare.

27:53The Buckleys:I went to a fucking... Before you talk, Claire. Listen, welcome to the Manosphere, all right? My memories of Shakespeare is doing it at school, we took a... For GCSE drama, we went to a local production of Shakespeare and it wasn't your fucking Hamlet or Romeo and Juliet. I couldn't tell you which one it was. It wasn't even one of the good Shakespeare's. And it was about six hours long or something nuts. I couldn't understand a fucking word anyone was saying. I didn't know why it was so funny. And I happened to quite like comedy. And it just ruined Shakespeare for me. and now I feel like I owe it to Shakespeare, to Bill, to maybe go back and revisit with some slightly more mature eyes.

28:53The Buckleys:Why do you like Shakespeare, Claire? Tell me. That's what I'm dying to know. I can't remember what I was going to say. Oh, fuck off. I can't. Yes, you do. I honestly can't remember what I was going to say. What did I say? I like Shakespeare. I'll tell you why I like Shakespeare. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because when I was in secondary school about fifth year, our drama teacher was really good. And he really, like, made stuff really fun. And we did Macbeth. And we put on the play. The Scottish play. And it was so good. To sleep perchance to dream. That a little company came to see it, like a little like film company who does like you know like the boring little school videos that you had to watch they would put it on before you started reading the book and they got us to do a little like mini film of it and we went to the isle of sky and we all stayed in a little like hostel thing yeah we're all the drama kids the drama teacher and we filmed it and we were out on like the beach and i was um naked no no okay carry on what's her name oh my god her names went the woman the crazy lady his wife Ophelia Harriet no Lady Macbeth Lady Macbeth that's the one I was in my head I was going I can't remember her name I know they call her Lady Macbeth quite a lot and I had to like walk into the sea and stuff like we probably did it it was really fun so I do that got me yeah that's how you reach kids because we had to we had to learn the story it wasn't just about reading it in class and not we had to like he dissected it and was like, this is what this means and we had a great time.

30:37So that's why I do like Shakespeare.

30:39The Buckleys:Well, that's good. Well, I like Macbeth. You had a good experience with Shakespeare and the Scottish play. Yeah. I'm not a big Shakespeare fan, is the problem. Fine, fine. But I feel wrong. I need to see if I can find that video of that little thing we made. I feel wrong. I could show you that. The one that we made, the little one, the little thing. No, but I don't... That little three-second video. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but if you put it on... Loop. Loop, it's fine. Yeah, no, I just... I'm not into Shakespeare. Fine, fine. We don't need you to be. It's all right. But I feel bad because I'm not. Why?

31:19The Buckleys:It's one of those things. There's a lot of stuff in my life that I feel a bit insecure about and... What, because you're an actor? Well, yeah, because I'm an actor. James, you wanked with ham on the telly. It's not... You're not a thespian. no not just that nobody expects you to know the works of Shakespeare no but I do have a whole thing I'm not educated you're not Ian McKellen no but I'm not educated I'm an idiot once you get I'm fucking 39 almost nearly once you get to that stage of your life you're like I should have learnt something you're fine it makes me feel insecure that I don't like Shakespeare but apparently I'm supposed to.

32:03The Buckleys:I don't get it. No, I don't think you're in a minority there. I think a lot of people are like, ugh. Well, not people that I have to work with and stuff. Right, oh, so you're in rooms where you feel inferior. Yeah, that's what I do. Don't let them do that to you, mate. I do, I feel like... Don't you let them do that to you? I feel like working class people get that a lot. Yeah. They feel out of their depth in situations where they definitely shouldn't be. No. And nine times out of ten probably do know more, a bit more useful stuff than the other nine people in the room. OK, well, who would you rather you were on a night out way?

32:43The Buckleys:Go on. Somebody who knows the works of Shakespeare in great detail or a London cab driver who knows how to get your A to B? Well, the London cab driver's going to have lived a much more interesting life than somebody. No, but I'm just saying useful information. yeah well yeah of course right so don't you worry about it don't you let him make you feel inferior except me a lot of people probably don't realise just how much Shakespeare still shows up in film and TV 400 years after his death I mean that is incredible so that's why I'm saying there's got to be something there's got to be something about this Shakespeare guy I think he's going to really he might make it I think he's I think he's he's about to hear off yeah maybe I think he's about to blow up It's like when Paul McCartney did a song with Kanye.

33:32The Buckleys:Oh, yeah. And all the young kids were like, God, this Paul McCartney guy's pretty. He's all right. He can write a song. The Lion King. The Lion King.

33:42The Buckleys:Do you know what? I've just thought of a good brand for cling film. Lion Cling? The Lion Cling. Good, yeah. That plot mirrors Hamlet. Oh, okay. Focusing on a prince who must reclaim his kingdom from an evil uncle. Was it evil? who murdered his father. Scar wasn't evil. He was just fucking sick of everybody's shit. Apparently Mean Girls mirrors Julius Caesar. I've never seen Mean Girls. I've never seen it. Janice, a.k.a. Cassius, convinces Katie, a.k.a. Brutus, to backstab and betray Regina. Regina? It's Regina, right? I'd guess so, yeah. The powerful leader to overthrow Rome, or in this case, high school.

34:35Right, okay.

34:37The Buckleys:Soaps like Coronation Street and EastEnders. Soaps often mirror 21st century Shakespearean drama. Themes of power, comedy and tragedy within a small community. Guys, that's a reach. Also, according to ChatGPT. Go on, what's he saying? Jay from the Inbetweeners is a classic Shakespearean character type. Jay is the Shakespearean braggart. I find that offensive. Well out of my depth here. Doesn't matter. Nobody's listening anymore. Jay most closely fits the classic comic archetype of the braggart who exaggerates sexual and heroic exploits to compensate for insecurity. Shakespeare uses versions of this type influenced by Roman comedy, particularly Falstaff Henry IV part one and part two okay alright honestly honestly what we doing now right happy birthday Shakespeare yes happy birthday Shakespeare thanks for all the words on the subject of birthdays here's some things that are turning 30 in 2026 right Pokemon Pokemon

35:48Pikachu right yeah the Macarena Macarena, that's turning 30. That's only 30. That can't be only 30. That can't be only 30. No, no, no, it is.

35:58The Buckleys:It is. It can't be. Yeah, because then that would have been I was nine when the Macarena came out, and that sounds about right. Wow. Wannabe. I was only two when the Macarena came out. That's crazy. Zigga, Ziggar, Spice Girls, if you want to be my lover. That's 30. Wow. Nintendo 64. Beanie Babies. Oh, I didn't think they were that old. I thought they were about before I was born. The Beanie Baby. I remember when they came out. Well, I remember my sister buying them. Anyway. Does that make you feel old? No. Good. Because let's have a quick swipe and then we've got some listener emails. You tell yourself no one wants your college-era band tees, but on Depop, people are searching for exactly what you've got.

36:42You once paid a small fortune for them at merch stands. Now, a teenager who calls them vintage will offer that same small fortune back. Sell them easily on Depop Just snap a few photos And we'll take care of the rest Who knew your questionable music taste Would be a money making machine Your style can make you cash Start selling on Depop Where taste recognises taste

37:05The Buckleys:Hey Claire Yes James This is how I start every News segment James you say that in the husband I know that's how I talk to you He's started sentences like that for years whenever you want to tell me something or if you want to do something so if you're like I know what you're going to say go on hey have you heard this? well yeah you do that like I'm fucking doing a late night talk show monologue hey Brett have you heard this? like I'm Jay Leno hey have you heard this? you heard this in the news recently? Claire what's with the Republicans? but I'm talking even simpler than that like if you're like hey Claire listen to this I could have a beer you're like hey Claire yeah should we have a beer yeah I'm like sure James I say listen to this quite a lot you say listen to this which I think hey Claire listen to this I think if you could sum up my personality of someone who's someone who's just desperate for attention from you Claire I literally constantly say don't arm no no it's pathetic that's what you want no it is pathetic but I do for years and years Years and years I do say, hey, Claire, listen to this.

38:20The Buckleys:I say that all the time. Like a fucking little loser. And I've been listening to you three years. And you've not. And I pretend to be interested. Sorry. And also, you have always listened. I do listen. You have always listened. I do, yeah. I do appreciate it. Thanks. But we do have, speaking of listening, we have some listener emails. Okay. We've got one here from Paul. Paulie. I've not read this. Let's read it together and find out what Paul wants from us. Paulie. Walnuts. Walnuts. Paul says, dear the Buckleys, I'm getting in touch because I wanted to tell you about a recent incident, which I imagine will have you both raging.

39:02The Buckleys:Good. Okay, here we go. All right, I'm getting juiced. I'm getting juiced up. Our youngest daughter recently turned nine and for her birthday, she invited four friends over for her first sleepover. one of her friends had the worst case of main character energy I've ever seen I'm suffering with that a little bit I think sometimes anytime anyone spoke she interrupted do you know what there is James you're an interrupter I am an interrupter yeah but there is kids like that there is kids like that we've had Harrison's friends over and it is like relax Yeah, yeah. Relax. You're seven. Yeah. All right, chill.

39:46I have a children in my house where I go, if my children behaved like this, I would fucking die.

39:51The Buckleys:As the night wore on, she got louder and louder. No matter what the kids said they'd done, she'd done it bigger, better, louder, longer, harder. Strange choice of words for a nine-year-old girl. Anyway, everything was look at me. She was mentally exhausting. By nine o 'clock, we lit the candles on the cake and sang happy birthday and then it happened. She did not blow those fucking candles up. I think we know where this is going. Honestly, I'd be furious. As our daughter started blowing out the candles, the other girl leant forward from her seat on the couch and started blowing them from the other side.

40:31Wow. Out.

40:35The Buckleys:Now, what are the rules there? So if I, the story would be, see, say this is me and I've got a daughter. Say we've got a daughter. This is happening. I suppose the story the Daily Mail would run is James Buckley thumps a nine-year-old girl.

40:57But this is context. Honestly. The kids who blow, it's literally.

41:03The Buckleys:Just a little slap behind the head and just go, don't do that. Literally blowing out somebody else's candles. I think would be fair enough. Well, you're talking about daughter. Yeah. I mean, that's my boys. Yeah. I would like to see you with a daughter, actually. I would be... I think you would be the most stereotypical girl dad there's ever been. Imagine if you had a tiny version of me. I think it would be... Because let's be honest, right? I mean, I've already got quite a tiny version of you at the moment. Well, yeah, a tinier version. Because you love me. I think I'd be a very... And imagine a tiny version of me.

41:43The Buckleys:I think I'd be a very unhealthy girl, Dad. See? And you give me a hard time with my boys. We weren't recording earlier and James was saying how much I'd overly mother the boys. I just say things every now and again. And we both say things every now and again because we're a balance, me and you. We're a good double team. Yeah, we are, yeah. I don't want to say this, but it's true. I do think you are the best mum in the world, right? I do think that. No, I think that as well. I know you do. I'm not going to say that often. You know what I mean? Oh, my boys. If I'd had a daughter, though, I think I'd be a really, I don't think I'd be a good dad to a daughter.

42:25No, you would be, but I think you would be that really stereotypical like my little princess

42:33The Buckleys:exactly I think she'd grow up to maybe be a monster because I'd be like she's perfect yeah she is perfect Mr Buckley your daughter set fire to the toilets in the school today she burnt off the other girl's hair no way absolutely not nope what would you call her what would I call her Claire 2 No Weird I'm Claire too You are yeah On TikTok No I'm Claire too In our house Right Who's Claire one Your barbecue Ah Don't get me started on that I keep forgetting about that My barbecue's broken And that's a big thing No I do think I'd be a bad Daughter dad Girl dad No I don't think you would Why Because I just You just give too much I just think and our boys are amazing but just think if I had a daughter I'd just be like she's the greatest thing Right but that's how I feel about the boys and you're always giving me into trouble for pandering to their every move No I'm not getting you into trouble I'm keeping you in check You gave me into trouble So would you keep me in check Yeah I'd be like she's a wee bitch I'd be going I'd be going she's not Yeah I'd be going you're taking that out of context That's exactly the conversations we have you gave me into trouble not too long ago because you saw me putting on one of the boys' socks.

44:01And jokes on you because little do you know, I do it every day.

44:03The Buckleys:I know, but they're not for... They're my babies. I know, but you don't need... My little boys. You don't need to be putting their socks on for them. Jude, you do. He's inherited my feet, to be fair. They're both ice cold and clammy. They're like frog's feet. Just stick to stuff. But still freezing. he has got those from me hasn't he yeah they're not as cold as yours and in your defence I've tried to put a sock on him and it's like you've got to have the right technique it's like you're just out of the swimming baths or something like it just won't it all sticks to it and it won't go on and then it goes on all twisted and stuff and you have to anyway that's boring as our daughter started blowing out the candles the other girl leant forward from her seat on the couch and started blowing them out from the other side It was so unexpected.

44:56The Buckleys:It didn't even register for me that this was not normal behaviour. My wife was fuming, but that wasn't the end of it. The next morning at breakfast, as my daughter was opening her gifts off the other kids, her friends started unwrapping some of them and judging them.

45:15The Buckleys:What the fuck? What are the rules on petty revenge against spoiled brats? By the end of the morning, even our daughter said to us, I don't think I'll be inviting her back in a hurry like a little old lady I'd love to hear your view well I've said my view and mine was violent just a little listen let me tell you the one for all parents and this doesn't make sense but it makes sense are we getting on our high horse at the moment. Come and join me over here on my high horse, Claire. The one problem... I like being on a high horse. I don't get to be on a high horse very often. But this little girl's a menace.

46:02The one problem! She's not been brought up properly.

46:05The Buckleys:Claire, tell me what the one problem is. Fucking hell! Sorry, I was just enjoying being on a high horse and I'm instantly off of it again. The one problem for every other parent, right? Now, I will say this does exclude me because my children are fucking angels. right alright but the one problem that every other parent has in common is other people's children that's the same you cannot nobody likes other people's children but I barely stay on my own apart from everybody I talk to likes my children either that or they're just sucking up to me they're good lads no they're good boys they're sucking up to me no they're alright they're good lads they're not fucking perfect you cannot they're far from it listen if you have other people's children in your house, it's a very tricky situation.

46:55Because you have to look after them, and obviously you can't really give them into trouble. You can't, you know. But other people's children are fucking annoying.

47:05The Buckleys:Well, that's because you only have... I just think we can generalise here. It's not a good... This day and age, it's not good to generalise, Claire. But I'm gonna... I'm more than happy to get my balls out of the bath on this one, right? Kids are annoying. That's what, yes. Children are annoying. And you have a certain allotment of patience. Absolutely. And my kids take all that. Yeah. But I suppose when you objectively look at things. Well, how does it take them? Well, that's what I mean. Do you know, are my kids any more or less annoying than other kids? Maybe not. Oh, they are. But maybe because I'm so sort of just, right, these are the guys I've got to focus on parents have got an allotted patience slot it doesn't spread to any other children absolutely not so you're never gonna you're never gonna get rid of that although that little girl sounded like a little she does like yeah she's not a nice girl yeah she's she's a veruca you need to bazooka her right James also has a I don't mean fire a bazooka out of her by the way no we got that that was her name wasn't it from Willy Wonka Veruca I don't yeah Veruca Salt Salt did you say sock yeah yeah who yeah who's calling their child Veruca well I think it was for the movie because she's supposed to be unlikable I think you found it was a book first Claire anyway this is from James Bosch who says hi guys loving the pod who wrote it I would like you to ban people referring to their pets as kids.

48:53The Buckleys:Or as worse, themselves as pet parents. Okay. Is that the end of his email? No, there's more. Right, finish the email. I will say. Finish the email before we get into this. Doggy mum of two. Finish the email. I love my two cats and rabbits and I treat them as part of the family. But I can't stand it when my partner calls me a cat dad. And then there's people who include their pets' names on Christmas and birthday cards. Yeah, no, that's too much. Don't worry, my pets are well looked after and loved as all pets should be. Yeah. Of course. Hope you can clear this one up. OK. Can I take this, please?

49:33The Buckleys:Please, Claire. I'm just going to hand you these. It's the reins.

49:44No more beer for this guy.

49:48The Buckleys:Look at me. I'm going to keep drinking. You're gone. Okay. Let me take this for a second. Because you would think... We've got to be careful. You would think that I 100 % agree with that. Which I do. Literally pulling my socks up right now. Right. I do. You all right there? Yeah, yeah, I'm just pulling my socks up. Okay. When we had our first dog, we got our first dog, Paisley, the Rottweiler, when Jude was three. Just. Yeah. So we had tiny little kids, right? She was a dog, right? She was a pet. I loved her with all my heart. Yeah, yeah. But she was a dog. Yeah, yeah. She wasn't my child. Yeah.

50:35The Buckleys:We had children. However. What? However. No, not you. I'm talking about me, right? However, Paisley died, what, last year, the year before? I don't even want to talk about that. No, I can't. But now our kids are older and we just got Cosmo. He's only a year old. He's a year and a half. Right, a year and a half old. Now, because my children are older and they should be able to put their own socks on and stuff, right? You get the gist. He is my baby. Is this why I saw you putting socks on him the other day? Shut up. He is my baby. Yeah, well... And I do treat him more like a child than I did Paisley because I don't have little toddlers to look after.

51:19And he... I do treat him like a baby.

51:23The Buckleys:Right. Don't you think? I think we both do with him. I treat him like a little man. He's treated more like a little... He's treated more like a child than Paisley was. Paisley was a pet. Do you know what, man? It might be because he's smaller than Paisley. Paisley was a big dog. Yeah. Maybe. You don't make me feel guilty now. No, because when Paisley was a puppy, like I... She was a puppy for like 30 seconds and then she was bigger than all of us. But I'm just saying, I think it depends what stage of life you're in. Because now that my kids are older, I definitely treat Cosmo like a little baby.

51:58I do. I know I do. And so do you.

52:00The Buckleys:In what way? Oh, come on, James. He's a good guy. I like him. I like being around him. I like... He's one of the lads as far as I'm concerned. but I'll tell you the only thing I treat him better than my children if anything yeah no I think you do his diet is amazing there isn't there the kids are getting chicken nuggets and Cosmo's getting a fillet steak yeah I get yeah yeah he had he had fillet steak and a little raw egg twice in one day the other day anyway but his diet is absolutely incredible okay he's got what we're not going into a whole Cosmo thing because you'll talk about that for way too long okay i'm cutting you off the only thing he's the best though he's like brilliant the only thing that i have a problem with now signing on the cards i'm against that i've never written a doug's name and i cared right that's too much for me i take the piss out of people i've when i do cameos it's like it's like to david from sheila jessica and bernie the dog and I'm like fuck knows how Bernie the dog managed to book this but apparently you've got a dog that can book cameos now the one thing I've got a problem with and I always have pet Instagram accounts very lucrative pet Facebook, Twitter, Instagram TikTok, if I could trust Cosmo if I could trust because Cosmo he can do cute things and he can do stuff but if I asked him to do it I don't think he'd do it no he does his own thing I don't like if you've got if you've got an Instagram page for your dog I don't think we would be pals I don't know man saying that I like watching them yeah that's it because I love watching dogs I don't know I think it's but it's I think if you had an Instagram account for your dog it did something cool and the internet loved it and you went, my dog now gets all this free shit, I'd go...

54:09I guess I'm thinking before it was lucrative then, yeah, maybe, whatever. But I just don't like... I don't like... If somebody posts a picture of their dog and says, I've been to the park today and I had a great time with my mummy, fuck off. Fuck off, I can't handle that. It makes me feel sick. Don't like it.

54:29The Buckleys:It's big business though, mate. Yeah, probably. People love pets. Probably. Dogs are fucking great. Oh, I love dogs. Dogs are great. I love them. But I'm not a dog dad. I haven't given birth to a dog. They're not one of my children. No. Cosmo's not one of my kids. No, he's our dog and we love him. He's our dog, yeah. I didn't get a Mother's Day card from Cosmo. No, I should have done that. That would have been funny. I mean, I would have loved that. Well, yeah, maybe. What did you get for Mother's Day, Claire? Because I listened. yeah that was from this podcast yeah i've just realized that i forgot about that conversation yeah and they were really fucking hard to get they're so specific i just realized we had that conversation so for mother's day i came downstairs and there was two cards one from harrison one from by the way okay jude went sorry i'm so sorry claire i gotta jump in jude wound me the fuck up obviously I'd got the cards we have to say Mother's Day was a little while ago but we're reminiscing I'd got the cards obviously because also you know I did that thing about how the beginning of the year, the first three months of the year a bit of a stressful one for me, it's got your birthday we've just come off of Christmas then I've got Mother's Day Valentine's Day load of comments, not a load, one comment that logged in my brain because it annoyed me it was like why are you getting your wife a Mother's Day card she's not your mum I'm like I can't send my children my children don't know they don't have a bank account they don't know they they kind of popped into your mind who do you think sorts the like no one's under any pretense no one's like oh sometimes the kids make me cards they do yeah they do stuff like that but on the whole it is the dads that I know so I'm like a mother to you so Yeah.

56:27Carry on. What was the original? A sexy mother. Okay. What was the original point you were trying to make there?

56:31The Buckleys:What was the original point I was trying to make? Oh, Jude. You interrupted me. Jude writing a card. So I got him this Mother's Day card. And you know you get a little bit in the middle that they've usually written or whatever. It did say, happy Mother's Day something, right? Underneath that, he wrote, happy Mother's Day. And left. and I went Jude are you done with this card he went yeah I went you haven't I was like have you written a card before do you know what a card is you haven't written who it's to or who it's from you've written Happy Mother's Day which it already says right above it above it he was like alright sorry I was like right can you write to mum and then he started writing in the bottom corner, two mum.

57:24The Buckleys:I was going, it goes up there, it goes on the top. You write two mum, love from Jude at the bottom, it's really easy. He was going, I don't know, do I?

57:37The Buckleys:I was going, you need to, I need to get these kids watching the Manosphere. They're not manning up at all whatsoever. Jude is the most boyish boy though, he's just like, I don't know. It's a fucking card, what do you want from it? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, I came downstairs on Mother's Day to my two cards and how many? It was a big old pile. How many? I don't know how many. I cleaned out. Maybe like 10, 12? I took however many there was there. There was maybe about 10 or 12 packets of sweet Thai chicken McCoys. That was my Mother's Day. There you go. Yeah. A load of packets of crisps. because I'd mentioned on the podcast that they were up there for my favourite crisps.

58:22The Buckleys:Yeah, I was like... I don't think they were my number one. No, they weren't your number one. Your number one was roast chicken and I still feel that's boring. I still feel that's boring. So even though you knew they were my favourite, you thought that that wasn't good enough. You wanted to get to seven different... I just thought you were being a stupid bitch. I didn't know... Right, move on. What are we doing? What are we doing? I don't fucking know. Listen, pets are pets, kids are kids. Yeah. Boom. Except Cosmo, he's my baby. Let's swipe. Thank God. And then we've got a feature. Oh, that I can't read.

58:56The Buckleys:Because I don't want to cheat. Right, you ready? Lock your iPad, you big fat cheater. Oh, am I boring you? No. No, you've bored yourself. Right, okay. Oh, did you hear that? Yeah. God, it's nothing worse than a 26-year-old knee. Oh, it's fine. right we're gonna do a feature now yeah and I'm gonna why are you looking at that because I'm talking because I'm the one doing the podcast yeah yeah I don't want to do it I have to do this bit do your little host stuff right okay we're gonna do a feature we're gonna do Strike It Buckley terrible I'll clap you didn't juice anyone up you ruined it I didn't ruin anything I'm not gonna This is my favourite thing that we do on this podcast You ruined it You call me out and then I get nervous I don't like it You're brilliant Right Okay In honour of our good friend Shakespeare Right I have got some ye olde Shakespearean phrases Ye And you James Ye I think that's They would write TH as a Y Why?

1:00:14The Buckleys:So when you see a pub and it's called Ye Old Goose or something like that, they actually mean The Old Goose. So what we're going to get you to do... And these and yous were a thee. Right. I don't know why, actually. If you give me a second to finish your Falken's entrance, I'm going to get you to translate them into modern English. Translate what? Ye old Shakespearean phrases. Oh, the old Shakespearean phrases. Carry on. You ready? Yeah, go on then. Okay. We ready? We're doing this? I've already admitted that I can't fucking understand the cunt. Talk some riddles, that geezer. You can't call Shakespeare a cunt.

1:00:59The Buckleys:Also, what you've got to remember about Shakespeare is that they weren't... They were written in some sort of prose, weren't they? They were like... Stuff rhymed in a weird, really roundabout way. It was more poetry than it was a sort of script, a conversation between two people. It was like a song. Is that right? I don't know. You love Shakespeare, apparently. You're killing me here, Jimmy. You're killing me. Right, you ready? Go on. I'm going to get you to translate Shakespearean phrases into modern day English. I'm not going to get any of these. Right. Which has annoyed me. Number one. Because I usually have a good chance with this stuff.

1:01:33The Buckleys:That's why I like it. Shakespeare came up with some actually well-known phrases. In a pickle. He made, yeah, he made, like, words up that we still use. Right, number one, you ready? Parlance. Are you ready? Yes, I am, yeah. Fuck me. Number one. Yeah. Bite my thumb. Bite my thumb. What would that mean in today's language? What would we say instead of bite my thumb? Bite my thumb. Keep your mouth shut. stop talking keep it to yourself no big old buzz translation is do we have a problem?

1:02:24The Buckleys:this guy's a genius bite my thumb what you said makes more sense to be fair thank you I'm better than Shakespeare carry on okay number two it's Greek to me I can't understand it it's all Greek to me number three kiki wiki kiki wiki kiki wiki that's supposed to mean something so the translation of how we would say it yes it means something kiki wiki right okay do you want a clue I'm going to have to have a clue I don't know what kiki wiki means okay so you would say she's my wee kicky wicky. Right. I don't know someone I like, my special person. Who would be? Wife. Yeah. Right. I don't know why.

1:03:21The Buckleys:It's an affectionate... I only know that because you said she's my kicky wicky. It's an affectionate term for a wife. So would you like the quote? Yeah, please. The quote is, Away, you horsing upright rabbit. Away, my sweet kicky wicky. my sweet kicky wicky nonsense absolute nonsense right number four if someone fucking was on drugs and come up to you in the street and went away my sweet kicky wicky we don't talk like that anymore we used to right number four you ready barber monger barber monger he is yeah a proper barber monger he's a proper barber monger I mean you're never gonna get this he's a proper barber monger anything to do with haircuts no he's a proper barber monger well that's not the quote it's just barber monger I've said he's a proper barber monger right so you've put it in the context of he's a proper it just sounds like a sort of homophobic slur if anything no oh he's a proper barber monger that one no no do you need an answer if it's nothing to do with haircuts no it's not what's a monger really because you get your fish monger someone that sells fish wig sells wigs no it's nothing to do with hair barber monger fleece coat no okay I'm going to tell you it's a man whore right or hooah hooah right I just don't see the correlation monger usually refers to a seller like a fishmonger but in this context it implies someone who is always with a barber suggesting they spend far too much time on their appearance rather than being a man of substance right so I guess it does have something to do with her right ready number five that's very manosphere yeah that's Shakespeare commenting on the Manosphere there you go he was ahead of his time number five 300 400 years before Theroux did it yeah number five number five go on binger waste binger waste oh binger waste go away what would I say if I what do you hear me saying rather than what I'm saying oh binger waste weeshed More me.

1:06:01The Buckleys:Fuck off. There you go. Number six, The Beast with Two Backs. Oh, yeah. Now, I don't know what that means, but I do know... Think about it. I know that there's a Futurama episode called The Beast with Two Backs. Well, okay, what happens in that episode? I can't remember. Genuinely can't remember. The Beast with Two Backs. Someone that contradicts... No. That's two faces. Yeah. That, a beast with two backs, is a euphemism for sex. Right. Obviously, I wouldn't get that. Right, number seven. Even a worm will turn. Yeah, the worm has turned. Yeah. It's, when do people say that? They do say that, don't they?

1:06:54The Buckleys:They go, oh, the worm has turned. You thought one thing and now you think another. No. or something was going to happen. No. Now this, I don't know. Jenny don't know. So even a worm will turn is, translation is, if pushed too far, even a pacifist will seek revenge. Right. So even the nicest of people will go, what will they say? They'll say, bing a waste. Right. So the worm has turned. You've reached your limit. Yeah. Right. Even somebody who wouldn't say it would tell you to fuck off. Okay. Right, last one, thank God, number eight. Yeah. Salad days. Is there like a song called Salad Days or something?

1:07:37Yeah, I thought that. I feel like I've heard that before.

1:07:39The Buckleys:I feel like it's a theme song to a sitcom or something like that. Salad days. Salad days. Well, that's the day where you just sort of chill out and relax and it's, you know, there's no stress. No. The translation for salad days is youth and the period of young age. Yes, bollocks. Right, it is bollocks. It is bollocks. That's you done. Do you know what? You got three out of eight. He is the equivalent of Kelly Rowland and what's his name? Nelly. Nelly. I love that song. Yeah, they just made up the word boo. That's right. Because it rhymed with you. Yeah. At that point, everyone's going, what the fuck's a boo?

1:08:22The Buckleys:Well, it's a boyfriend, isn't it? It's a boyfriend. You're my boo. Well, it's boyfriend or girlfriend. Yeah, you're my boo. Yeah, no. You just made up a word because it rhymes with you. Great song, though. No matter what I do, I'm crazy over you. Even when I'm with my boo. Oh, cheating. Cheating. All I think about is you, right? Right, OK. So you got three out of eight. You just made that up. You just made that up. You just made up. And that's what Shakespeare did. And that was Strike It Buckley. Because also Shakespeare... Join us again next time. Because also Shakespeare used to have to make things rhyme and stuff.

1:08:52The Buckleys:so he just used to make shit up. My kicky wicky, fuck off. Well, it means, you know, my wife, my kicky wicky, you know. No, we don't, Shakespeare. You just made that up, mate. My bollocky wallocky is what I'd call it. That has just, that is just, I've gone back on what I said earlier where I was trying to be nice about Shakespeare and how maybe I'm a philistine and how maybe I'm uneducated enough to understand it. No, it's bollocks. OK, fine. It's bollocks and he's full of shit. OK. And people that like him pretend to like him so that they can pretend as if they're more intelligent than the rest of us.

1:09:33The Buckleys:No, we are. Whereas in fact you're just a fucking wanker. No, we are a bit more intelligent. Anyway, that was Strike It Buckley. Is there no outro music or anything on to Strike It Buckley? Did we just leave it? Well, I think I was supposed to do the outro but you steamrolled me again.

1:09:54The Buckleys:you're lucky the music's playing right now okay because we're going to fucking talk about this later when we go you've made me look like a fucking idiot anyway Claire let's move on shall we no we're not moving on we're finishing mate oh we're finishing pack it up that is the end of this week's episode of the Buckleys thank you very much for listening remember you can get in touch I can't remember what we've done you yeah Go on Oh she's about to say Something nice about me Now I can feel it Go on This episode Stop What What are you going to say Way too much Way too much You can never have Too much Way too much You can have too less That's it for this week's Episode of the Buckleys Thank you very much For listening Remember you can get in touch With your stories and questions By emailing thebuckleys At platformmedia.uk Or you can message us At the Buckleys pod On Instagram and TikTok And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use.

1:10:52The Buckleys:And if you're feeling extra generous, go, come on. Give us a little five-star review. Why not? All that is left is for Claire to say... See you next Thursday. See you next Thursday. Thank you very much, guys. That was an episode. Go on, the Chiefs. Chiefs, Ben. Thank you.