Holiday Rip-Off

23:23Clair Buckley:It's really shit. and so you save all the booze and everything. You fiends are 10 days in Alicante. And yeah, we do. We go a bit mental, don't we? It's like the fucking, what's that film? That film we love with Ethan? It's like the purge, innit? Absolutely. You go on holiday, you just fucking get it all out. You fucking work your bollocks off all year long so you can get a year's worth of boozing in sort of six days or whatever. Yeah. And yeah, all right. I feel like yous are always like chucking chairs about and stuff though. Listen, we've got a bit of a reputation. Drinking and a bit of a fight.

23:59Clair Buckley:But it's not, I don't think it's our fault that the rest of Europe can't handle that we're a bunch of fucking legends. Legends. All right. Okay. Because that also brings me on to my moan this week, Claire. Go on. Quick little moan for you. Quick little moan. Quick. Quick little moan for you. Go on. And I think we can all get on board on this. travelled agents and, you know, your package holiday people are hiking up their prices during the school holidays. Oh, I know, mate. I know. I think it's fucking out of order. It is. I know. I think it's well out of order. I think there should definitely be some kind of law against that.

24:37Exactly, because there's all these laws stopping people taking their kids out when it's actually affordable.

24:43Clair Buckley:That's the thing. It's a tax on the working class. They can't take the kid, again, and it's a common sense thing. A kid going to Spain for a week, missing a week of school, they're not going to suddenly go, I can't remember anything now. Careful. What's wrong with that? But taking your kid out of school for a week is not going to have a lifelong effect. Exactly, exactly. You're making memories. So the government are going, no, if you do that, we're going to fine you and send you to prison and stuff and whatnot. So parents are going, right, well, we'd better wait until it's school holidays. And then the company is going...

25:16They have to do that. Yeah, it is. It's terrible. And it doesn't matter. You've got no choice. But I tell you what, though, I know you did say working class and obviously that it hits people like that a lot harder. But it doesn't matter how much fucking money you've got in the bank whatsoever. How annoying is it just to know yesterday it was 800 quid,

25:35Clair Buckley:today it's 1 ,600 quid. Absolutely. Listen, nobody likes, no one likes, is comfortable with being ripped off. No. Doesn't matter what situation you're in. But it is a tax on the working class especially. Yeah. Because I didn't have a holiday every year when I was growing up. No, me neither. And my parents did work every single day. They had a couple of days off over Christmas. And they lived for, you know, 10 days in Zakynthos or something like that, right? Is that real? It's anti to you. It's out of order. It is. It's absolutely out of order. And we did a thing. We were booking something the other day, not abroad, but we were booking to go somewhere.

26:16and you went on the website. It was like a little activity to do while we were there. You went on there one day and let's say -

26:24Clair Buckley:It wasn't one day. It wasn't one day. I looked at it and how much it cost. Let's say it was 100 quid. Yeah. And then I went, oh, is that how much it costs? So then I thought, I'll have a word with the missus. Come back. We were talking about it. Do we want to book that? Should we do that? That's a four minute conversation. And you were like, yeah, do that. Went back to it. Went back to book it again. Gone up. Doubled at least. Because the internet knew that I'd already looked at it once. That's so early order, isn't it? And flights do that as well. Yeah, flights do all the time. If you go and look at a flight and you come out and then you go back, it's always made expensive.

26:56There's got to be something. That's a Buckley's law.

26:58Clair Buckley:We've got to have, yeah, we've got to do something about this. It's so out of order. It is. It's so annoying. Do you know what a lot of people are doing? It's not going to destroy your kid's life if you take them out of school for an holiday for a week. No, is it? And it might fit in with you and your job. Yeah. You might have a lot on while they're off at school and then that fucks things up. You might have a quiet week or whatever and go, I could take a week off there. I have to take the kids out of school. And you're getting fined. You're getting fined for it. But a lot of people are like, I'll pay the fine.

27:28Clair Buckley:It's cheaper paying the fine. It's cheaper on top of the holidays. It's cheaper paying the fine than getting another working class tax. I know, but it's a blotch on a record, isn't it? On what record? I don't know. when it comes to kids everybody just that just sort of freaks you out doesn't it you don't want being judged for taking your kids out it's out of order it is I agree but I'm fed up with it I'm fed up with all that stuff and it was that thing that I think that got me thinking about this stuff yeah we were booking something you went back like 20 minutes later and it was because I made a note of it in my phone I can't remember the situation why I made a note and I was like it's fucking out of order it is it's because they know you're going to book it and also you're then in a situation where it's packed like the holiday like that exactly if you could just take a holiday when and where it works best for your family we used to be able to though like when we were kids I remember my gran my mum and dad didn't go on holiday my gran and papa did and I was like oh you're gonna miss the last three days because we fly out whenever this is another thing because the common sense is illegal you're not allowed to have common sense it's either you can or can't do it you can't have a bit of like Well, this will be fine.

28:39Clair Buckley:They've not got any exams on. You know, they're in a year where they're not working towards anything. They're eight. They're a primary school. Well, that's, yeah. You're not allowed to have, you're not allowed, you're not allowed to do what's best for you and your family anymore. We need a revolution. It starts here. We need a revolution, Claire. On this orange couch. No, it doesn't. I don't want to. I don't know what I'm talking about. Hey, Claire, let's take a quick break, and then we need to move on to our theme, which this week is barbecue. Oh, fuck. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need.

29:11Clair Buckley:From athletic stuff, like a full-court pickup game, swish, to athletic stuff, like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in! And from morning hikes up the mountain trail, good pace to nighttime ghost stories from the camping chair. What a twist. Whatever level of active, Sierra loves it all. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it.

30:07Roll out! chronic migraine is 15 or more headache days a month each lasting four hours or more botox on a botulinum toxin a prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start it's not for those with 14 or fewer headache days a month it prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo prescription botox is injected by your doctor effects of botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing speaking breathing eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life-threatening condition.

30:38Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue, and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms, and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions, including ALS Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert-Eaton syndrome, and medications, including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects. Why wait? Ask your doctor. visit BotoxChronicMigraine.com or call 1-800-44-BOTOX to learn more.

31:10Clair Buckley:Yes, Claire, it is time to talk about the theme of this week's episode. It is barbecue. Did you write this? I didn't, actually. But we've never had a conversation about barbecue before, have we? We've never spoken about... I've never spoken to you about barbecue. Have I? Have I mentioned it? I'm pretty sure I just fucking block it out now. We've got some questions here. The first one is, and they're going in hard. Thanks, guys. I can tell what side the production team are on. The first question is, why does James have so many barbecues? That's a good question. Let's answer that. What number are we on?

31:42Clair Buckley:I think it's six. I think it's six. And that's only because Weber gave me a free barbecue recently. I'm not including the flat iron grill that I've got that they gave me as well. You want to fucking get that burp out so that you can talk normally? Or do you want to keep fucking... I can either talk... Nobody wants to listen to that. I can either talk or burp. Bad enough if you're talking about barbecues. We don't want to fucking have to struggle. I can either talk or burp. Listen, hear what you're saying through fucking rifting all the way through it. What do you want, Claire? Quiet. Well, that's going to work great on a podcast, isn't it?

32:18Clair Buckley:Fuck. Christ. No, I do have six barbecues. To be fair, a couple of them do overlap now. I've got two grills that are basically the same. And that's only because I set fire to one of them on Jude's birthday that year. and I needed a barbecue. Yeah, that was a fucking great time and had loads of foot coming round. I had to go out and buy a new... I had to basically replace it. They're basically the same. So why have you still got the other one? Because I then sent it in to get all degreased and all that stuff and it all works fine now. Have you ever used them all at the same time? No. That's not true.

32:49You've never used them all at the same time? You've had six on the go at once?

32:52Clair Buckley:No, I've not used them all at the same time but sometimes I've got a grill on and also I combine that with the pellet smoker. And a couple of times I've used my actual proper smoker. And that takes like 16 hours to cook a brisket on and stuff like that. So I have the grill going. 16 hours. 16 hours. Remember that time you tried to cook a fucking chicken with the neat towel at midnight? I remember that. Listen, it takes its time. You can't time a barbecue. You go by temperature. You don't go by time. I'll tell you the most annoying thing about when you want to do a barbecue. Go on. I'm sure we've...

33:32Don't slowly shut your eyes at me. Go on. I'm sure I've mentioned this before. The most... James is like, oh, we'll have a barbecue this weekend. I'm like, all right, yeah, fine. He goes to the butchers, gets some fucking burgers and sausages, sticks them on a barbecue, and that's it.

33:51Clair Buckley:Right. What am I doing? The shit stuff that goes with it. The pasta or whatever that you like to do. Fucking making pastas, potatoes. sides. Yeah. Make sure I've got plates, napkins for people. Yeah. And then, oh, have we got any skews, Claire? I might cut this up and Michael, and then I've got to run out and get peppers and all the hard stuff. I tell you this stuff. All the hard stuff. You're talking about the, I wanted to do little kebabs and I said, I need peppers and onions. Can you handle that? Obviously you can't. So it's fine. Don't worry about it. All the hard stuff falls on me. And then you use fucking four different tongs and then it's gone because sometimes I'm doing sometimes I'm doing buffalo wings and barbecue wings and then you go they've got barbecue on them can you wash them and then I'm fucking standing at a sink washing everything so you're ready for the next thing if you can't handle it don't worry about it you're doing the assistant stuff you're doing the helping things I'm cooking the meats sonning in one place drinking a beer anyway Wait.

34:59Clair Buckley:Here's a question here. Gas versus charcoal. I do not have any. I don't use gas. That's not proper barbecue in there. I don't have any gas-fuelled barbecue. What about the Traeger? The Traeger's pellet. It's a pellet smoker. Right. I don't use any gas. I don't have any gas canisters. I do have a flat top that I've not used yet that does need gas, but I've not used it yet, so I can still say that I don't use gas. Right. But it's got to have that charcoal. Maybe even a little chuck on a couple of lumps of wood. A little bit of mesquite. A little bit of apple. Oh, I hear it when you use that. Everything tastes like shit.

35:39Clair Buckley:No, it tastes great. Like Disney. It tastes disgusting. It tastes good. That's what it's all about. Listen, you don't like barbecues. That's your problem. I do. I like a sausage. Well, have you heard of a Tobacon? Tobacon Epic Centipede, Claire? It's ten roast piglets Oh no Each stuffed with turkey, duck, chicken Cornish hen and quail See that's just stupid, that's too much Wrapped in bacon Sewn together, anus to mouth To form a meat centipede So it's like human centipede Garnished with baconators That's ridiculous That's stupid, that's too much I would like to do a hog roast though I'd love to do a hog roast I couldn't see its wee face.

36:27Clair Buckley:No, it'd be a proper pig. Yeah, that's what I mean, though. It's wee face. What? What's the matter with that? Oh, it's fine. Oh, no, I don't like it. I'm dead already. You might as well cook it. No, it's dead because you're going to cook it. No, it's not. No, it's not. Someone else was going to eat it. I know, but no. You don't go to a farm and go, I'll have that one. Yeah, but that's the whole... Anyway, let's not get into that. No. I'd love to do a hog roast. Oh, no, I couldn't look at its wee face. Let's move on, shall we, Claire? Let's, yeah. For the love of God. Yeah. So, Claire, a few episodes back, we played our first game of Strike It Buckley.

37:05Yeah.

37:07Clair Buckley:You quizzed me on some funny place names. Yeah. We've had some listeners get in touch with some of their own favourite funny place names. It's always good. We've had loads of them. We've had loads in the comments and stuff. Oh, have we? Here's a couple for you. From Sean. He says, I have two additions on the weird slash funny place name list. A village called Muff. Nice. Which also boasts an establishment called Muff Barbers. Oh, I could be doing whatever, isn't I? You should go. Yeah, I said it before, yeah. Ha ha, very funny. The other is Ringrash Road. Oh, Ringrash Road. We've got another here from Anthony, who says, I think you'll find this funny.

37:49Clair Buckley:It's in Scotland. Oi. It's called Twat. Have you heard of that, Claire? No, I haven't, actually. Whereabouts in Scotland is that? Mac, with a Q, pretentious, says, the most childish place name I could find is Willys. Willys. I remember, I think I brought this up on, I don't want to keep going on about nostalgia, and I think I've already brought this up on the podcast before, but Fat Willys, the surfers, that surfing make, I feel like that was a 90s thing. my dad had a I think we went to Cornwall or something on a caravan holiday and my dad got a Fat Willys t-shirt and I thought that was the funniest thing in the world I was going can I have one and he said no We've got one here from somebody called Absinthe What the pure alcohol He said or she, don't know there's a mountain in Australia called Six Mile Knob.

38:48Clair Buckley:It's named after me. It's not. Right, so... Is that mile? Sorry, I thought it was short for millimetres. Right, as it was such a big hit a few weeks ago. It was such a huge hit, Claire. People fucking loved it. It's time for another Strike It Buckley.

39:17Right, welcome to Strike It Buckley, the fast-paced trivia game show presented by yours truly, Claire Buckley.

39:27Go on. I was waiting for my applause.

39:30Clair Buckley:Oh, sorry.

39:35If that doesn't happen next time without me having to ask. This week I'm going to ask James 10 Quinn.

39:41Clair Buckley:Seriously, do it. It's easier that way. this week I'm going to ask James 10 questions on, don't you be looking you took your wee fucking iPad off me I was covering my iPad I was scrolling up so I couldn't see do you know what your 10 questions are on? no you do don't you, you looked at it I know what it's on but I don't know what they are cockney rhyming slang right let me just jump in you're not a cockney, you're just a cock right good, I'm not a cockney at all no you're not what is a cockney? East London You have to be born within the sound of the bow bells To be considered a true Cockney However Is Danny a Cockney?

40:23Or does he just talk like one?

40:24Clair Buckley:East London, Camden Right, okay Well you've hung about with him long enough You must know But Growing up in Dagnum And I know it's Cockney Rhymes thing I've grown up with mates And people That do not Do use it That don't use it ironically No, yes I know And some of them I've been like, that's made up. That's not real, surely. Yeah. Remember, I made one up and you loved it. What was it? This was years and years and years ago when we first started going out and I was hanging about with all your mates for the first time and I'd never heard this. They were literally saying apples and pears and stuff.

41:00And I was like, is this fucking real? I did not know people talked like that.

41:05Clair Buckley:Yeah, they do, yeah. I don't know if they still do. Remember, I made one up. No. What was it? for dinner I fancy a Rafa Rafa Benitez no Rafa Nadal what was it it didn't really work noodles yeah because you used to call it a pot Nadal right because we had them all the time because you were trying to make this out you were like we'll have a pot Nadal tonight we'll have a pot Nadal tonight and I was like yeah a Rafa yeah I fancy a Rafa Rafa Nadal yeah no perfect anyway just a couple of my mates ones that I was just like even I was like I'm not having that I'm not doing that are you allowed to make them up is that how it works I assume so.

41:41It's got to be, isn't it?

41:42Clair Buckley:I don't think there's any rules. But just having a couple of frames of Mark. Frames of Mark? Yeah, Mark for Duka. Snooker. Oh, no. But again, just sort of like, yeah, no, stick 50p in the light. We'll play a bit of Mark. And I was like, what? Mark for Duka. That's Snooker. Yeah, Mark for Duka, Snooker. That's not bad. That's not bad. He was a Celtic player, right? Yeah, he played for... I think he's more famous for playing for Leeds. here's one for you again no irony go on no irony you may be using them up here we'll find out just like oh oh you coming out tonight are you coming out tonight no I can't tonight I'm Brassic Park well I know I know Brassic means skinny yeah Brassic doesn't even rhyme with Jurassic no but a mate of mine was just like like no like not making a joke no I know that's what I'm saying that's how your pals talk can't make no I'm Brassic Park tonight like mate now what does that rhyme with brassic but surely it's the park that rhymes with something brassic park no it's brassic i'm brassic i'm skinned oh park's got nothing to do with it he did that brassic means i'm skinned i don't know if brassic is also a rhyming slang for something i got yeah but there's an inception style of slang just you need to get through that Yeah, yeah, yeah.

43:04It's like, I'm Brassic. I like Brassic Park.

43:06Clair Buckley:I'm Brassic. I'm Brassic Park. I like that. Jurassic Park. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, right. This week, I am going to ask James 10 questions on Cockney rhyming slang. Right, James. All you have to do is answer whether the following Cockney rhyming slangs are real or fake. I'd say they're all real because... If they work, they work. Like, when I grew up, anything went, apparently. If they're in use. Right, okay. Okay. Right. So I'll give you a little example one before... Shall I guess what it is before I guess whether it's real or not? Yes. That's the game. You have to guess what it is and whether it's real.

43:46Right. Okay, so here's your little example. Plates of meat.

43:50Clair Buckley:Feet. And is that real or not? That's real. You want another little example? Yeah. Use you in. Who the fuck was that? That's my thing. I got it right. Oh, I thought something left a phone on. Do we need that? Yes, we do. Okay. We do. Okay. We need anything. All right, okay. We're playing Strike It Buckley, Claire. Okay. This podcast needs whatever it's got. Hampstead Heath? Hampstead Heath teeth. So. Hampsteads, yeah. Give your Hampsteads a brush. Yeah, knocked one of me Hampsteads out. Right, okay, so. Right. If you're going to do it, fucking do it when he says it right. Don't wait until you're moving on.

44:28Clair Buckley:No, do it wrong. Do it wrong every time. Okay, you ready? This is real now. We're playing now. This is real, right, we're playing. We're playing. Mop and pail. Mop and pail. There's a sail. There's a sail on. There's a mop on at Debenhams. I'm going to say that's false.

44:51Okay. China plate.

44:54Clair Buckley:Mate. True or false? Me old China, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

45:01Danny Dyer Danny Dyer

45:03Clair Buckley:deep fat friar Danny Dyer big fat liar right you're talking out of stuff that I'm saying no Danny Dyer's not a cockney rhyme saying well he absolutely should be should be should be an honorary mention don't believe a word he says he's a right fucking Denny but the problem is liar yeah that's what I said that's good the problem is is that Danny's already a rhyming slang. Four. Fanny. Jack and Danny. Course. Okay. Dustbin lid. Dustbin lid, kids.

45:41I'm fucking panicking and struggling. I just loved it.

45:44Clair Buckley:I loved it. You're not angry at me for a while. This is a nice bit of respite. Someone else is annoying you. Bottle cap. Bottle cap. Crap. No, that's pony. No, I'm going to say it's false. Going to have a quick bottle. Right. No, we do need to stop that. Going to have a quick bottle before dinner. I'm saying it's false. Yeah, it's false. Why? What did you think it was? I don't know. Right, okay. Trouser cough. Trouser cough? Yeah. Trouser cough? Not heard of that one. Who dropped a cheeky trouser cough? Oh, it's a fart. Yeah. It doesn't rhyme, though. It's not a rhyming slang, is it? It doesn't rhyme.

46:27Clair Buckley:That's just slang. Go on, next one. Terry Wogan. Terry Wogan. I think that is something. I do think that is something. Terry Wogan. You want a little example? Yeah. That t-shirt's got a weird Terry on it. Terry Wogan. Slogan. I'm starting to think that's not a thing. It's not a thing, but it's a good one, isn't it? Bristol City's. Is that tits? Yes, it is. Yeah, Bristol's. I know that She's got a lovely pair of Bristol's Yeah Bristol City's titties Yeah It says here Example She's got a cracking pair of Bristol's Yeah Yeah That's it We're done Ten Is that it? Yeah Yeah You're not hot I'm hot Right How did James do?

47:14Clair Buckley:He's doing the sound effects I don't know You won the fucking counting Well let us know in the comments How many I got right I think you got them alright I think I did them alright there I thought Terry Wogan was something Terry Wogan slogan I thought Terry Wogan was something I'll be honest with you, I feel like that should be something but yeah, there's loads more we could have done with that anyway I'll let you sign off Anyway, thank you for joining us for this week's round of Strike It Buckley We hope you enjoyed it Listeners, do get in touch with any You're on the nice Do get in touch with any trivia rounds you'd like me to test James on and we'll be back with another round soon I'm not sure how well that one went anyway that's it for this week's episode of the Buckleys thank you very much for listening remember that you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk you can't take a deep inhale of breath while I'm doing the outro trying to do the outro and you're just sitting there going sorry I'm already on the train email thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok and don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use and if you're feeling extra generous why not go ahead and leave us a really fucking amazing five star review all that is left is for Claire to say see you next Thursday see you next Thursday guys that was the podcast we did it

48:43Clair Buckley:you want to impress them on a first date but also play it cool so what do you do? I'm Rufy Thorpe and I wrote and read a real love story about a hinge couple that navigated exactly that. Listen to the free audiobook now. The Viore Core Short moves with you. With everyday versatility and classic athletic fit. It's the one short for everything your day brings. Invest in your happiness and get 20 % off your first purchase at viore.com slash core20. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash K-O-R-E-2-0. Exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.