Hotel Room for One

0:00Clair Buckley:This episode is brought to you by ADT. One second, you're enjoying your day off. The next, your phone buzzes. A window's been broken at home. You're miles away. In one second, everything can change. That's why ADT security systems can monitor your home 24-7. They're backed by the most company-operated monitoring centers in the industry, so you're always supported during an emergency. When every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com to learn more. This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist.

0:44Clair Buckley:The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for. From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it, style it, make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Crocs store today. Right, I'm just going to say it.

1:31We love Popeyes.

1:33Clair Buckley:How could you not? I mean, the chicken, the crunch, the New Orleans flavour. I'm dribbling just thinking about it. Yeah, you are. Well, you know it's serious when we start daydreaming about their chicken sandwich. Don't get me started on the chicken sandwich. It's the best. It all started back in New Orleans in the 70s. Proper Louisiana roots, proper southern flavour. Then they came to the UK in 2021 and they've already got 75 restaurants here. And every time they open a new one, it's a massive deal. They're accused down the streets. Have you seen it? Yeah, I have. I know you were there. They serve their New Orleans style menu featuring the infamous chicken sandwich that literally broke the internet.

2:12Clair Buckley:Plus wings, tenders and traditional biscuits served with gravy. Their chicken tastes so good because it's 100 % fresh, marinated for 12 hours and hand-breaded and battered on site for that iconic Shatter Crunch coating. Oh, I think my stomach just rumbled. Sorry about that. So if you haven't tried it yet or you're already hooked like us, Popeyes is offering the Buckley's listeners a tasty little treat. Yep, you get£5 off when you spend£15 or more on the Popeyes app using the promo code BUCKLEYS. That's B-U-C-K-L-E-Y-S You know how to spell it That's how you spell it Honestly, trust us, just try the sandwich You'll be licking your fingers and possibly the phone screen as you order Well, try not to do that, that's a bit gross I'll make no promises, Claire I'm on that list Any time that I go to America I have to open it up and show them everything that's in the suitcase Not because I was smuggling drugs or anything cool like that No, it was because I tried to get some Oxo cubes into the country.

3:18Clair Buckley:If we weren't hosting this amazing podcast and vlogging, what side hustles would we pursue and why? First of all, this is my side hustle. I've got some updates from our listener. Listeners, sorry. Our listeners. Updates from yourself. I don't even f***ing listen to this. Right, before we kick off this episode, Claire. Are we going for it? A couple of things we need to address. First of all, there's some, next door to the studio, there's some building work going on and somebody is really fucking loving that drill. And also, I've picked a not very flattering shirt that keeps just sort of opening up and like exposing my hairy, flabby gut.

4:03Hey, the ladies might love it.

4:05Clair Buckley:They might do. The ladies might love it. Yeah, so if you can hear some drilling, I mean, you probably won't be able to when I'm talking because I'm so fucking loud, but when James is talking, you might be able to hear it in the background. Speak up, mate. I will speak up. Have a bit of confidence. Put yourself. That got eroded away years ago. Hey, listen, it's time to do a podcast. Welcome to the Buckleys. This is the podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit, and invite you into our lives. Before we do get into it, we just want to remind you that you can get in touch with your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at The Buckley's Pod on Instagram and TikTok.

4:45Clair Buckley:And don't forget to subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you do enjoy the show, why not go ahead and leave us a review? Five stars. Hey, Claire, how are you? Are you all right? I'm all right. How's your week been? I'm all right. I'm a bit... Oh, no. What have I done now? No, not you. I'm a bit... I'm just... I'm feeling a bit on edge. On edge? Yeah, I'm a bit annoyed. Oh, you're coming in with that? energy are you? A little bit, yeah. What's annoyed you? Who's upset you now? Well, just, I don't know. I don't know everything. It's just, it's just bumping under.

5:21I'm just feeling like if somebody says something to me.

5:25Clair Buckley:Don't worry, James, God, you don't have to look so. The whole room is terrified now. I'm just feeling it a little bit. Because you haven't even given us anything to work on because it was like, oh, she's annoyed by that, so I'll avoid that. So now I'm walking a whole fucking minefield this whole episode oh dear hey listen claire listen to this what um i saw a video this week of my instagram and it was talking about boarding pass codes boarding pass yeah when you get on a plane right and um and the reason why i carried on watching it was because I was like, oh yeah, I see that all the time. And it was if you get SSSS on your boarding pass, which I do when I'm going to America and stuff like that, always get SSSS.

6:16Clair Buckley:That means secondary security screening selection. Well, you're flagged, didn't you? That's it. I think I've mentioned this before. No, we were talking to our mates about it. Oh, is that what it was? Yeah. I don't know when my life ends and this podcast begins anymore. um but yeah so i am on you know if you've tried to smuggle anything into america yeah i'm on that list yeah drugs any time that i go to america i have to at the other end i have to have all my suitcase um i have to open it up and show them everything that's in the suitcase not because i was smuggling drugs or anything cool like that um no it was because i tried to get some oxo cubes into the country.

7:00That's right, yeah.

7:02Clair Buckley:And that was a big problem. When I go to America, I stay with your family, and they're Scottish. Manny Dora wanted some Oxo. She was like, can you get us some Oxo and some Bisto and bring that with you? I was like, yeah, absolutely. To be fair, Oxo cubes are tiny little powder cubes wrapped up in tinfoil. Yeah, they are. And they were like, what is that? Yeah. And I was like, oh, it's gravy. And they took them from me as well. They didn't let you through? No, I wasn't allowed to take them through. Because it's like... Well, it's beef. Beef, isn't it? It's a beef extract. So it's like certain meat and vegetables you can't take from one country to another.

7:40Clair Buckley:So now, any time I go to America, I'm flagged straight away. I can't just go straight through. I have to have this whole thing at the other end. Yeah. And then don't you remember the last time when we went to Florida, you put everything in my name? I put all the suitcases under you. And then the guy at check-in at Heathrow, rather than just doing it, you then explained to him why, and he was laughing. No, I said, can you just put all the bags under her name, because I get... I get flagged, so then he obviously had to be like... No, but he laughed, and then he went, yeah, no, it's come up here straight away.

8:20But why didn't he go, wait, why are you flagged?

8:24Clair Buckley:It's me, isn't it? I'm not going to be doing anything I'm not a criminal mastermind by any means am I? No. I'm not smuggling stuff. If I was to smuggle stuff I'd use a submarine if you're interested Anyway, that's what's been going on this week Not the fucking one that that bloke. Oh god, did you watch that? Did you watch the Netflix thing on that Ocean Gate thing? That's crazy I was obsessed with that a little bit I found that really But what I said to you, we watched that thing and what I said to you was even though they tested it i think he'd been what was it ocean gate what was it called titan the yeah the uh the submarine he'd been to the titanic three times something like that yeah he'd done it a couple of times as a test so he'd got all the way down there because it's really fucking deep yeah and that's why it took so long to find the titanic yeah it was almost like a hundred years before i would like to see it i would i'm i'm a bit the titanic interests me as well i'll leave that one i was talking to you and i was like would you because the first time that they took paying customers down yeah yeah it all went tits up right yeah and i said to you wouldn't you just be like i'll see how this goes oh wait until somebody else is like 250 grand a ticket i know but what i said to you was the thing is though he's already done it he's already done it a couple times yeah and when i'm one of those people right i don't i just sort of i'd be like whoa it's on offer i have to pay for it so it's obviously safe like i get on a roller coaster and i'm like it wouldn't be operating if something could go wrong but it does i know i know i was shocked when you were like yeah i'll just do it i was like no i'd give it a year i'd let them be in service for a year see uh see what their track record's like yeah but he'd already done it i know but what does that mean means he can do it i'm shocked anyway i think after watching that netflix thing you know you just don't know you don't know what corners are getting cut that guy that guy was cutting some corners it was that wee scottish guy he was trying to yeah he was trying and he's hard to bless him.

10:37Clair Buckley:There was people around this fucking millionaire guy going, this is not safe. You shouldn't do this. And he was going, people have been telling me that this isn't safe for years. Well, I'm going to prove them all wrong. Even though he's got no background in any kind of engineering. No, he was just like, I'm going to prove them all wrong. Anyway, I've got a little quick algorithm for you. Because I was just talking about Instagram there. It's reminding me that I've got a little algorithm. Okay. So you know if you watch one clip of something on Instagram, then Instagram goes, oh, here you go, here's loads more.

11:10Clair Buckley:Here's one that I get loads of clips of. People having leg lengthening operations to make themselves taller. Oh, I could do that. Right. I'm a very tiny woman. But this is a thing. Would you have, like, you need to see what they go through, by the way. they split your fucking shin and put more put i don't know a bit of plastic or something it feels very much ocean gate right right shin gate shin gate yeah they're they're lengthening their like shins and their what do they call it femurs or whatever right to be a bit taller i think i'm not a tall man and i'd like to be taller that's a step too far it just depends listen it depends what what you're up for a lot of people will do it but they're like see i think that's where so the men were on the submarine this is where the women come in i feel like women will be like i'll fucking try it no it's all blokes i've not seen a woman do it oh really i've not seen a woman do it okay i don't think a woman's height is really that no i'm just talking about like like plastic surgery type stuff i feel like we're a bit more like all men it's all men that want to be taller well but you see them and i'm like mate your legs are already in proportion to the rest of your body well that's it yeah so then you look a bit weird yeah like a fucking monster from an 80s movie or something dark like you know like a cheesy b movie yeah it's like one step forward and two steps back because their legs are longer but then i wouldn't say you're taller four steps forward i'd say you i'd say your legs are longer mate it's like your overall height is still taller.

12:52Clair Buckley:Yeah, your height is taller but you've got, your legs don't match your body anymore. You look like a freak. Yeah. Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, you don't look better. You just look like you've got weirdly long legs. you look like, with big scars on one of them. you're like, what the fuck's up with your legs, mate? Yeah. And it is a bit like when I trim my beard, right, my beard is always uneven because you have to like take a bit off this side and you're like, oh no, it doesn't match that side and then you take a bit off and there's a point where you have to go, I'm going to have to fucking stop now because otherwise it's all going to just go.

13:26Well, it's like doing eyeliner, doing winged eyeliner for me.

13:30Clair Buckley:It might be like, where does it stop? You go, oh, I'm taller now, but my legs don't match my body. I'm going to have to have my arms lengthened a bit there. Oh, the old torso needs to come up a little bit. Oh, now my head looks really tiny on a really long body. We're going to have to have some sort of skull augmentation going on. And then you're like, oh, I've done the skull too much. We're going to have to start with the legs again. Yeah. How are you getting fed this stuff on your Instagram? What the fuck are you doing? Because I watch one video of it. You watch one thing and they get you. It's like, I've had my legs lengthened.

14:01Clair Buckley:You go, what? Carry on. I'm listening. Well, on algorithm, I've got a little complaint to Mick. To who? Whoever's running the fucking Buckley podcast page on Facebook. Right. Right. let me just i don't know you guys no it's not there no no and i've looked and you can look into where and there's loads of different countries on the thing anyway whatever can i just say that's not us because i keep getting messages from people going this this is weird like they're posting pictures of me and you saying stuff like forever in love one love for for the rest it's it's pissing me off no it's not our style it's not fucking us all right and also now listen thank you god love you right but they've posted some pictures of me off my instagram where i'm obviously i'm feeling myself right i think i look cute and they're posting it and they're saying stuff like gorgeous one hot mama people think it's me like you're describing yourself as that yes and then there's there has been some comments under it like fucking hell you'd eat yourself if you were chocolate and And I'm like, mate, please.

15:18And I don't want to comment on it because then you're just feeling it.

15:21Clair Buckley:Well, if it means anything to you, you're not chocolate. And I'd still eat you. Hey, that brings me on to my moan, actually, Claire. You have accidentally, seamlessly moved me on to the thing that I want to moan about. Oh, OK. Now, there's someone pretending to be me on TikTok. Oh, before you go, can I actually just say we do have... There is an official. there is an official i'm sorry i'm just getting word in right now yeah there is an official facebook page for this podcast there won't be any of that fucking weird lovey-dovey shit on it that's how you know it's just be stuff about this podcast it won't be pictures of our instagram it won't be pictures of us all right it's not me right fucking hate it so there is someone pretending to be me on tiktok they're called jame buxtagram without the s now i do have a tiktok account i'm not super active on it but it is me right and it's called james buxtagram right so they've got this thing called jame buxtagram how many followers have they got i think they've got six figures or something i think they've got more than you i think they've got over a hundred thousand i don't know how many followers i've gotten are you not ticked no i'm not ticked on tiktok i'm not ticked on tiktok right well you need to get ticked i don't know how to do that but this other person right jame jame buxtagram they use all my reels everything that i've posted on my instagram they use all the shorts and stuff from from this right all the shorts from our youtube channel our vlog right and they just take all our content right and just put it straight out and then people comment and they're like oh jay you're a legend and then they write back going thanks Oh no!

17:05As if it's you!

17:06Clair Buckley:Yeah, and it's winding me up a little bit, I've got to be honest. I have tried to report it, there's nothing that can be done about it apparently. Let me see, right? There's no problem with people reposting stuff. That's a great thing. The more you get out there, the better it is. But just make it obvious that it's not us. Don't just pretend you're being the person, that's fucking creepy. I've decided to bring it up on the podcast because I'm hoping that maybe we can clip this down into a short so that I can put it out and then see if they will just use it and make it like... Out themselves. Yeah, it'd be absolutely hilarious.

17:40Clair Buckley:But yeah, it's weird, it's creepy. Jane at Buckstagram, whoever the fuck you are, like, by all means, repost my stuff. And I assume you enjoy what's being made and things like that. But stop, you're pretending to be me. Like, they've copied the exact same picture that I use on TikTok. the exact same handle apart from the S. Well, it's replying to people as if they're you. That's dangerous as well because you don't know what that person's saying. Exactly, yeah. They're always like, does the legend reply? And it's like, hi, oh my God, yeah, you replied. That's terrible. That's even terrible doing that to people who, I mean, not that it's that big a deal to talk to you, but that's a bit mean to do that.

18:25Clair Buckley:So if you are interested, James Buckstagram is my TikTok account. James Buckstagram is a weirdo. I mean, they're both weirdos. That's true. Follow both of them. You'll be following two weirdos. One is slightly weirder than the other. I'll let you decide which one's which. And what's the official Facebook page for this podcast? I can just confirm that the Facebook page is facebook.com forward slash the Buckley's pod. That actually wasn't the thing that I really wanted to moan about. Oh, OK. That was just a little thing that I wanted to add to see if I could try and trick this person into using content of me saying that this person's a fake account.

19:06Clair Buckley:The one thing I wanted to quickly moan about, I think we can all get on board with, waiters that don't write things down. Oh, my God. The anxiety those people give me. As if there's some kind of Jedi master waiter. Especially when you're out with your kids, right? Because Jude especially is very particular, right? So it's like, he wants the cheeseburger, but can we get that? with no cheese, no tomato, yes, a little bit of the sauce. And he's gone, yep, yep. And I'm going, are you getting this? I have to say, just meat and bun. Yeah, plain, yeah. Because they, and I know you said cheeseburger there without the cheese, and a lot of people are going to go, oh yeah, that's just a hamburger.

19:42Yeah, but sometimes hamburger's not on it.

19:44Clair Buckley:Some places you just go, there isn't a hamburger option. Like there's just the pub cheeseburger. The burger, yeah. Sometimes we've gone like, oh, can we get that plain? Plain. And they bring the lettuce and the tomato and everything without the cheese. So I have to now go just meat and bun. Yeah. But yeah, when you're doing a specific order. Waiters that don't write anything down, honestly, it's so stressful. Yeah, they do stress me out. Because you do get it wrong a lot of the time. And that's when I'll get angry. That's when I'll get angry. If you're standing there and you're not writing it down and I'm saying to you, now make sure and they're going, yeah, yeah.

20:20See, then you bring it wrong, then I'm going to be fucking pissed.

20:23Clair Buckley:Why don't you just write it down, mate? Write it down. I need to calm down I need to calm down for a second let's have a little transition swipe and try and relax for two minutes I'm not in the mood for this James I'm pissed off I've heard that before this episode is brought to you by Facebook so you were scrolling on Marketplace and there it was the bike you'd been searching for you sent a message and it turned out the seller was super chatty kind of funny and an avid cyclist the next thing you know you're in a cycling crew well a community cycling group the thing about Facebook you might find more than what you're looking for from a browse to a bike ride this summer find more on Facebook hey Chicago class it up with Crocs you know back to school is coming in fast so why wait to find your new fave footwear step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look Try it.

21:23Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up. It shows off. First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today. Now at Lowe's. Faster quotes. Start at the Lowe's Pro Desk. Got a material list handwritten on a sticky note or saved as a photo? Perfect. Bring it to us and get a quote in minutes. and if you don't see what you need on the shelf we'll help you get it. You can access thousands of products beyond what's available in store or on lowes.com right from the Lowes Pro Desk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving.

22:05Just like that at Lowes. Right, I've got a fresh beer. I think the production team are trying to calm me down. They've gave me a new beer. I don't know what that says about me but it's working. Thank you very much. I feel better already.

22:20Clair Buckley:I've got some updates from our listener. Listeners, sorry. That's a Freudian slip. Our listeners. Updates from yourself. Yeah. You've written in. I don't even fucking listen to this. We've had a voice note sent in. Is that the first voice note that we've had? It is, yeah. Good. It is. In regards to a breaking bad news that we broke a few weeks back. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Is this coming back to bite us in the arse Oh this is exciting Okay here's the voice note now Hi James and Claire it's Tom You broke some bad news for me a couple of weeks ago To my ex when I decided to jump in bed With her mum drunk Just thought I would send you a bit of an update Because there was loads of questions Chloe does actually listen to your podcast As well so she did actually get the message Actually received a message From her And we were talking sort of back and forwards and then she ended up going on to say that accidents do happen, especially while drunk.

23:25Clair Buckley:Since then, we've actually been on a couple of dates and we're sort of at the moment planning another one. So you breaking the bad news has actually worked out well, which is a bit odd. I just wanted to say thank you. The only condition on me and Chloe being back together or sort of dating again. I can guess what it is. Is I'm not allowed round her house drunk anymore. If I go out drinking, I've got to go home. I was thinking it would be more specific than that. So I just wanted to say thank you, and I appreciate you delivering the bad news. Oh, that's brilliant. What a ton of... That's so good.

24:03Clair Buckley:How pucker is that? Right? Sometimes you sit here and you think... Sorry, did you just say pucker? Yeah. What? Okay. Sometimes you sit here and you think, why the fuck am I doing this? What is the point? Look at what we've done. This is shit. the producers don't know what they're fucking doing. We're lucky if the camera's pointing in the right direction. The set's broken. Joe Hart's broken our set. Why are we doing this? And then something like that comes along. Right, I will say this now. Right, does everybody remember that Tom got drunk and went back to Chloe's house and accidentally got... He ended up in bed with his girlfriend's mum.

24:43Clair Buckley:Yes. It happens, all right? now that's brilliant that's so good they reconnected so she listens chloe hi by the way and she messaged tom chloe and tom started dating again let me just drop this in right some friends of ours are getting married next year they are yeah there's been some talk and i don't know whether they're joking or not they're not are they not joking there's been some talk about me getting ordained to marry them yeah now i think you once you get that license i assume you have it for a couple of years or something like that until you have to renew it or something yeah maybe yeah tom chloe i don't want to i don't want to but say you know things go well and this little our podcast has managed to get you kids back together and um you know maybe i'll maybe i'll turn up maybe i could marry you guys yeah it would make sense it would make sense what a great oh what a great update and that's put me in a better mood that's saved the podcast well done put me in a genuinely well good really good i don't know how you top that but we've also had a number of listeners get in touch to ask for an update on the sue number plate car game situation um people have been asking has it continued is it getting more and more awkward or is it ramping up at all i've not seen sue for a little while no we haven't actually i've not seen sue for a little while no but we should if you've got any suggestions on how we can can i make a sign that i can hold up that one of the boys could hold up or something that just says sue exclamation mark and then if we see it we'll have it like down in the footwell the passenger seat yeah when when we see the cars when we see sue one of the boys could hold it up or something like that yeah you could do yeah yeah i feel like maybe we should be taking this to the next level plus danny got in touch to say that he spotted his own flashier sue oh has sue become famous and upgraded her car i've got a little picture here of a porsche carrera right i think that that's a very common number plate because me and harrison not only have we got our sue who we know and love me and harrison have spotted two other sue number plates well i'll tell you our lives.