I'm Hot From Within

0:01Clair Buckley:Mornings have a rhythm. You can hear it, feel it. And at Quaker, we fuel it. With 100 % whole grain oats. And a good source of fiber in every bowl. Helping you turn that rhythm into your soundtrack for a great day. Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26.

0:32Clair Buckley:that's the sound of zero sugar 200 milligrams of caffeine and the power to burn body fat storm energy for life storm energy blend helps boost metabolism which in combination with exercise and a healthy diet helps burn fat this product alone does not produce weight loss individual results may vary that's how we're going to win the election our whole slogans are going to be what do you want what do you want what do you want and you need to say it because if i say it it sounds aggressive i need to see a laser hair removal person because the hair on my ears is insane. Imagine I was the one to sh** myself on the podcast.

1:04Clair Buckley:Again it would be a podcast first. Actual sh**. Listen, f***** leave him a lane alright? Because I've got to listen to it at night. He was squirming around, up and down. I'm spicy.

1:18Clair Buckley:Hello and welcome to the Buckleys. This is the podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit and invite you into our lives. episode 86 this is and i've still not learned this little intro bit um before we get into it we just want to in fact let me see let me see how we get our day you read it you you look okay before we get into it we just remind you that you can get in touch with us by emailing your questions and stories our email is thebuckleys at platform media.uk or you can message us on Instagram and TikTok and if you do well where do the messages on Instagram and TikTok what's the handle on a at the Buckley's pod yeah at the Buckley's pod yeah and if you do subscribe to the show if you do listen to us on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use kinda yeah leave us a review five stars that'd be great how was that Claire for the for the intro read absolutely fine that's fine isn't it yeah got all the information across absolutely You'd think I'd know it off by heart by now, though, wouldn't you?

2:23No. Yeah, maybe.

2:26Clair Buckley:Yeah, 86. Yeah, maybe. Episode 86. I still don't know how to read that without looking down. How are you, Claire? Are you okay? What's up? What's wrong? Who's upset you now, Alan? Alan? That's from Partridge. Oh. Just the general public. Well, yeah, but... I've got a bit of rumbly in my tumbly. Yeah. I'm very hot in there right now. It's hot. It's all going off, isn't it? I can build a fire. Yeah. And also, I made a big mistake there. I just ate some spicy rice crackers. That's not your mistake. Your mistake is that you recently found a local burger joint. Yeah. It was new. What was we looking at?

3:17Clair Buckley:Like Deliveroo or something like that. Uber Eats or something you're like oh that's new that looks good I didn't bother I don't I sent you in like a little canary to be honest with you you did yeah I was like do you know what you get that I might order something else I'm quite hungry I've done it twice I've done it twice you did it two days in a row I did it two days in a row I was the weekend the first one was brilliant I went for a barbecue burger great onion rings cheese lettuce it was really good the fries were really good what was it jalapeno mac and cheese bites or something like that I had a couple of those It was good I said to James the next day I said I'm getting another burger and I thought right I'm on a roll let me try something new let me try something let me really feel this place out I got their spicy burger Man Alive was it spicy Yeah It was habanero jalapeno there was scotch bonnet sauce Nice It was delicious.

4:19I ate the whole burger.

4:21Clair Buckley:It took you a while to fall asleep last night. It was squirming around, up and down. I'm spicy. Let's put it that way. All right. I can actually feel my stomach is hot. Yeah. My stomach's hot. So, yeah, I'm not feeling very well. I was actually running late this morning. because I had to we still made our train though we made the train which in my in my in my book makes you a legend thanks mate because I've been where you're at I've been where you're at way more than you've been oh yeah this is very few I don't think there's a day goes by where I don't have a bit of diarrhoea I'm constantly I don't think what I've got is diarrhoea mate I spoke about that on the podcast I saw a thing come up on my Instagram where it was like oh women they've always got like wheat intolerances and they cut this out and they cut that out.

5:15Clair Buckley:Whereas men just spend the next 30 years of their lives set on the toilet going, why have I got diarrhoea again? I tell you something, this isn't diarrhoea. I've had diarrhoea. No. This is the next level. This is something else. I'm hot from within. I can still feel it. My stomach is hot. I can literally feel the heat. Do you know what? There's been occasions in my life where I can... You know how you can't... feel your fingers unless one of them's sore or something like that. Right, okay. You're not aware of. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am certain I can feel my intestines. Right. Is that what it is? I can feel this.

5:59Right, well, I think I can feel that today.

6:01Clair Buckley:Yeah. I just don't think the shits are a deterrent for me at this stage of my life. I think it will deter me for a little while. I think it's a fair trade-off. It will deter me for a little while. I'm so used to having the shits these days. That's not good, James. It's not, is it? It's supposed to be a thing. Yeah. It's supposed to be a thing that you talk about on a podcast. It's not a thing that you do every day. Yeah. It's just part of my life, diarrhoea, these days. Yeah, it's not good. You should try that burger then. I think you would like that burger I had. Listen, I couldn't even tell you.

6:33Clair Buckley:I can't even remember what I had instead of you. And I... I know what you had. I still had the shits yesterday. I still left the pile. I went to the guest room toilet, don't worry. No, I know you do. It's my little safe space. That's where you always go. Yeah. I know. Because it rarely gets used. Yeah. Do you want me to put you on a high horse right now? I love being... There's nothing more than I like being on a high horse. I use the downstairs bathroom. That's out of order. I had to, mate. I had to. That is well out of order. I was either downstairs bathroom or on the fucking stairs. I know you did as well.

7:06Clair Buckley:I know you did. I did. I had to. Apart from that, you okay? I'm okay. I'm all right. You going to get through this? I feel like it'd be a podcast. Imagine, I was the one to shut myself on the podcast. That's it. But again, it would be a podcast first. I know. Actual shit. Yeah. Quick little moan, get it off my chest. I just want to moan about men's bodies. All right. Okay. I think you get to your mid-30s. Right. And I'm sure I've said this before. I've got this theory where they just start to rot away. Men are grim. When they get to a certain age, their bodies just give up on them. Right. And I'd like to say rot from the inside out, but now it's coming both ways for me.

7:59Clair Buckley:It's just a never-ending battle. You okay? You're touching your forehead. It's just stressful getting old. What's wrong? What's happened? What have you noticed? Loads of stuff. There's loads of stuff going on with me physically at the moment that I need to, that I'm finally starting to address. For the last few years of my life, I've been sort of like Googling and saying, oh, I've got this sort of ailment and this. And they go, well, you should buy this off of Amazon or something like that. This is your problem, right. Okay, I'm not getting any of this. And I go and do that and I try and keep on top of stuff.

8:31Clair Buckley:But now everything's just getting away from me. I've got sort of, I've got rosacea on my nose now, which I'm very grateful for everyone in the comments to fucking point out to me. Thank you ever so much for that. listen fucking lead him Elena right because I've got to listen to it at night I've got so I've finally got round to because I do like I'm diligent like with my skincare routine and stuff I've told you you're doing too much you won't find someone with cleaner skin than me right my god so I've got an appointment with a dermatologist in a couple of days time stick around until next week I'll let you know how that got on to try and sort out skin and I've got I need to see a laser hair removal person because the hair on my ears is insane.

9:20It is.

9:21Clair Buckley:It is absolutely insane. It's not just like one or two hairs. It is thick. It is like head hair growing on the lobes of my ears. Yeah. I can feel it now. I did it a couple of days ago. I've got stubble. Yeah. It's growing back. It's in stubble. What's that about? What's going on there? You're an old man with your ears. Yeah, but you get hair in your ears. Yeah. Who gets hair on the outside of their ears? And it's either way up. Yeah, it's like a chicken wing. It's like a hairy chicken wing. So I'm going to have to get laser hair remover on that. Like, I need to sort that out. Okay. Because it's grim and gross.

10:05Clair Buckley:Also, tonsil stones has become a thing that I'm worried about. Why? What's tonsil? Do you mean kidney stones? No, tonsil stones. I do get tonsil stones because I've got a thing that my doctor diagnosed with me. Is this this thing in the back of your throat? When I was a teenager, it's called cobblestone throat, which I still think is something he might have made up. I was about 13 years old when he said, oh, yeah, you've got cobblestone throat. And I've been obsessed with it ever since. I've never heard anyone else have it. But I've got very big, I've got very large tonsils. How do you know? How many other times have you looked at tonsils?

10:44Clair Buckley:Because the doctor has told me, my nail doctor has told me, that I've got abnormally large tonsils. This is your problem? You've got the doctors too much? They're very prone to infection. Right. And something that I have to live with, the guilt that I have to live with, is that our children have also inherited them. Both of our kids have got large tonsils. Right. And I've been told they might have to have them out at some point. Right. Because. That's what you gave them. Because they always, yeah. We had two boys and you gave them large tonsils. Yeah. And I gave Harrison a small penis. I know.

11:19Jude takes after his dad.

11:21Clair Buckley:Yeah. Whoever he is. Whoever that guy is. But I do have, I do. And food can get trapped in my tonsils. This is fucking disgusting. And I've just been talking about shitting myself. This is what I'm talking about. This is absolutely disgusting. This is what I'm talking about. The degeneration of the male body. You're just finishing. You're not using the word. You're just taking it. Sure. Yeah. Disintegration. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one. Whatever. It is gross. The male body, you've got to keep on top of it. Can I tell you something? I've always been a guy that's just sort of like a guy's guy.

11:58Clair Buckley:No, I'm not going to fucking deal with that nonsense. there comes a point in a guy's life where they have to go right I'm going to have to do some maintenance here I've got to maintain some shit can I tell you something yeah the male body yeah is not good to look at it's not it's a disgusting thing I would rather look at a female the penis is awful yeah the penis is a really ugly I'd have a vagina any day the vagina's lovely beautiful little flower going on there yeah penis is like a slow worm like a blind snake it's not for me the male body no it's fine I get it. You do get to it. It's your mid-30s.

12:34Right.

12:35Clair Buckley:And now I'm about to turn 39. And I should have started this maintenance a few years earlier. The body hair is getting out of control. It's absolutely insane. I'm quite hairy. Yours or mine? Mine. Because you're always going on about mine as well. Well, yeah. My chest hair is a bit worse than yours, to be fair. I'm thinking of Claire Trimming Like giving myself I don't like that Just a number two It's got to be nicer Than the fucking I don't like trimming Pubes on my shoulders And stuff I don't mind that I'm fine with that It looks really rank To who? When I look at myself When I see myself When I come out of the shower Well you do What you want to do But I'm saying I don't like trimming What about moustaches?

13:25Clair Buckley:Do you like moustaches? Not really. That's a shame. That's a shame. But yeah, my moan this week is just the... That was a long one. You said it was a quick one. It was supposed to be a quick one, but the more I thought about it, the more problems I realised I had. It's just the physical male body. It just starts dying. it's as if men die at 36 or something and they just sort of putrefy it's your eating habits it never used to be a problem but that's what happens when you get older the body fucks up it's not about fucking laser and dermatologists it's about eating better I don't want to do any work or have any impact on my life I'm just going to go medical anything that can be done like I like the idea of treating the body like a car you can swap parts around and get a new bit put in there okay refuel it that's the road i want to go down all right you go down that road let's have a little swipe absolutely

14:39you know we love a world something day yeah well yeah go on here's one that i think you will like Go on.

14:49Clair Buckley:It's World UFO Day. Oh. World UFO Day was first organised in 2001, put together to bring to... There's too many togethers in that sentence. It melted my brain a little bit. Put together to bring together enthusiasts of UFOs and the evidence they've all gathered to support their existence. Can I tell you something? UFOs, hit me. See if I wasn't a mother. Yeah. I would be in many groups like that. You'd get involved in online communities and stuff. If I had a bit more time on my hands, I would be in a paranormal investigators group. I would be in a UFO group. Straight off the bat, Claire? Go on.

15:35Clair Buckley:Do you believe in aliens? Yep. I think if you don't believe in aliens, you're ridiculous. If you don't think that there's anything beyond Earth, you're insane. you're ridiculous now there's a difference between believing in aliens and believing in aliens coming to earth sure but if you don't think that there is anything there must be some other life form on any other planet that we'll probably never encounter because it's so far away then you're nuts however it's more likely than not surely of course it is however I do believe that aliens have been here they've come to earth you know how people believe in heaven I sort of feel like I have to believe in aliens.

16:19Because you want there to be something else. Yeah.

16:21Clair Buckley:It's the same reason why, and I am a person that believes in heaven. Right. Because I think if I didn't believe in heaven, I'd go absolutely insane. What's the point? The point is, is that I'm living this life now on earth. This is my life. And I've got quite a good life, to be fair. But even I'm going, this can't be it. Yeah. There's got to be fucking something else than this. Yeah. well I just want to go to heaven when I think about heaven I want to go and see like my papa and my dog and like you wanna like I don't know you maybe meet you know George Harrison or yeah like they're all there they're all there just waiting for you it's a big party yeah they have like champagne on trays champagne on trays yeah do you think everyone has their own heaven well do you think it's bespoke Do you reckon that you get, you say they lead you to a door and they go, this is your heaven.

17:17Clair Buckley:And then you go through that door and the kids are the age they are now. And the dog's there. And then you just. You get to eat spicy burgers all day with the shit in yourself. Yeah. And you just carry on living your life a little bit. Maybe. I don't know if I believe in, I'd like to believe in heaven. I've got to, man. I think if it was between heaven and aliens, I'd believe in aliens. I believe in aliens as well. I think that's a, well, I've been abducted, haven't I? Yeah, you have, yeah. But I am a believer. I think that's how you should go through life because then nothing will be a shock.

17:54I believe in everything. Yeah. I believe in everything.

17:56Clair Buckley:Open to stuff. I don't believe in ghosts. Well, you should. I don't believe in ghosts. Because we've got loads, but carry on. I don't believe in ghosts, but like I say to you, I've been wrong about so much shit in my life. Yeah, you said that. I'm very rarely right. Here's a question then. What would you rather walked into your room at night while you were asleep? A ghost or an alien? I don't know. Either is so terrifying. A ghost, surely. If I saw an alien. Either is so terrifying. If a big, grey, long, slender alien walked into my room, that's when I would be scared. That's when I would be scared.

18:34Clair Buckley:I feel like that happens every evening, doesn't I? some greasy pale big headed tiny bodied naked naked yeah hairy ears yeah yeah the guys don't name it that's what really freaking people look massive tonsils yeah freakishly big tonsils I would much rather a ghost walked into my room nah man I feel like you know where you are with an alien if you get a doctor by an alien you go an alien's gonna take you I would just honestly I would just pull my pants down and just go right here we go with a ghost well that's one way to get rid of them with a ghost they fucking they ruin you didn't they they ruin your life they hang around for years and years and no one believes you and same with alien that's not a ghost that's a demon also I'm very positive about aliens I've got a very I don't think aliens I don't think if you've mastered you know space travel space travel in the way, you know, going through different solar systems and stuff like that.

19:41Clair Buckley:I don't think aliens are going to turn up and go, oh, I want to be what they want. You don't know. They might look at you and go, fucking hell, this place is grim. They probably turn up in their ships and go, lock the doors. Oh, the carpets are sticking in here. Yeah, do you know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know. Because also I don't believe that aliens would turn up and go, Earth's got something that we need to live. We need to mine They might No Anything that's on earth Apart from trees Apart from if they suddenly need wood Wow Is abundant in the universe Is absolutely abundant But water as well?

20:18Clair Buckley:Oh I don't know about water That's a big one But they're allergic to the water Who? Aliens You're thinking of gremlins I'm thinking of signs Oh yeah It's the water It's the water that does it If an alien walked in here right now Yeah What would you want to ask it? How do we measure up? How are we measuring up against other civilizations? Oh, okay. What's going on elsewhere? Are we really as bad or is there something that we can be positive about? My whole thing about believing in heaven. You're too much of a big thinker here. I would just be like, where did you come from? what's your planet like and they'd say a planet or something and you'd go well that means nothing to me do you all have knobs on your head yeah like what like you're thinking to you'd see them I'd want to know what do you eat I'm just interested in well yeah there's all that sort of stuff but I'm just interested in how we're doing as human beings because I think it's easy to be like god we're fucking up the planet and this is wrong and that's wrong I think we do so much good stuff I think we give ourselves a hard time and I'd love an alien to be from the outside looking in going you guys aren't doing too bad right okay you guys aren't doing too bad okay so you just need that in every aspect of life yeah okay good to know good to know James you in particular you're doing very well yeah that's what you want him to say well you've never said that to me no not me the alien yeah but you have gone you're not doing too bad yeah that's fine and that I can live with so listen I think UFO day UFO day I'm in well we were supposed to talk about it for about two minutes UFO day I know it's dangerous territory with me though I mean you're the one that rambled but it's the I love it and I do too and I think we I think we're I think we take the discussion of UFOs a bit too seriously maybe I don't think it's good for a you know who we need to silly podcast that we're supposed to be doing you know who we need to get on if we're going to talk about UFOs.

22:31Clair Buckley:Who? Who? The one person. Oh, Dyer. The one person that we know who saw an alien in real life. Yeah. Danny Dyer. He saw an alien and I believe him. Anyway, listen, let's have a quick swipe. Yes. And let's move on because I want to talk to you about something else that's also something that I don't find funny. That's something I take quite seriously. Oh, great. Right, let's try and carry on doing this podcast and pretend that the whole of the production team in front of us aren't Ian McDonald's. This is very unprofessional, guys. Guys, come on. This is out of order. Come on. Sherman selects in their mouth.

23:10Clair Buckley:Speaking of aliens, Claire, it reminded me of all the fears that we had as kids. Do you have any childhood fears? Only one. Go on. I've talked about it before. I feel like as your husband, this is something I should know. You should know. I only ever had one fear as a child. Escalators. right yeah they are a bit terrifying yeah the moving stairs I thought I'd get sucked under it I've got a really what did you feel as a child well vegetables mine's fucking weird mine's really weird and it's not even funny or entertaining but I had this I had this book of fairy tales when I was a kid right and it had illustrations in it Red Riding Hood right and The Three Little Pigs both quite scary if you're you.

24:00Clair Buckley:Yeah but the illustration of the wolf was absolutely fucking terrifying. And was it the same illustration for both in the same book? Yeah. Right. And I had a recurring dream of this wolf Right. Every night and I would wake up screaming and stuff like that. Oh god. Yeah no it was absolutely terrifying like I had a really really bad problem with it but this was in the days before sort of like wondering what the problem is it was just like right go back to sleep yeah I wish your parents had asked that a lot it was just sort of like right shut up go back to sleep it could have caused me a lot less hassle if they had figured it out constantly being told to shut up before we got here constantly being told to shut up and get on with it that was my that was my advice as a kid get on with it and then you married me yeah exactly So he's just carried on Shut up Get on with it But it was Yeah I'll have to Find that book I think it might still be around But those books were Ten a dozen The wolf was terrifying I had one of them And I used to have The same dream I wonder if we had the same book I bet we had the same book I had the same dream constantly I dreamt I was in my bed Right And I could hear The door open downstairs The front door and then I could hear, I don't know if this will pick up on the mic, but this is what was going on in my dream.