I'm So Hairy There

23:16Clair Buckley:We've got another one here from Jamie. This is the one, man. Jesus Christ. What is that? You know what it is, Claire. Cuff link. Jamie says, safekeeping. That's the subject of Jamie's message. No. I was walking home from my local train station one night a couple of years back and on the pavement, right outside a church of all places, a metal butt plug. How has that got there and whose is it? Whose is it? P.S. If anyone in the greys area has lost theirs, where I grew up, get in touch. I've kept it in my top drawer for safekeeping. Oh, you have not, Jamie. Oh, you liar. It's fine. It's metal. Metal, just a quick...

24:04No. Stick it in the drawer. Is that what a butt plug looks like? That's what it is, baby. I thought butt plugs were little round things.

24:16Clair Buckley:That's round. That's round. That goes in the bum. Yeah. And then that pops on the outside. Wow. Don't get the butt plug. I'm going to be honest. Don't get what the hype is. Don't get the butt plug hype. I don't get it either. Don't know what people are getting out of the butt plug. No. There have been a couple of times in my life where I could have done with a butt plug. Yeah, I agree with that. On long journeys and stuff. I agree with that. After having a curry the night before. That might be good for your hemorrhoids. We might be able to just... Oh, God. I mean, it just looks painful. Yeah, we're...

24:49Clair Buckley:We're not bum people, are we, Claire? We're not bum people, no, no, no. Keep it all to the front. We're not bum people. We're not bum people. We're not. Also, I'm so fucking hairy back there. It'll get all caught up and tangled and stuff, wouldn't it? That is just a hospital trip for me. I'd definitely end up... It gets stuck No I wouldn't let you go to the hospital I'd get it So yeah if you A couple of years ago If you did lose a butt plug Right how does that end up outside though Has somebody been walking along Forgot about it and it's fell out Or Has somebody been walking along and been like Oh my god it does still got that in there And they've just thought fuck it I'm just throwing it I don't know man the whole I just Is it fell out Somebody's bag Maybe Like I say I don't get it I don't get the butt plug I don't get I don't get what Why Why it's a thing The best thing About that picture is Is if you zoom in Really really close You can see Jamie's reflection You can see him Taking a picture That is good But yeah The butt plug The butt plug No And also Oh anal beads That's what I'm thinking of How do you get anal beads in.

26:07You must have to push them.

26:09Clair Buckley:Listen, I don't know how you get anything in. I know how to push stuff out, but I don't know how you get anything in. I don't get it. It's making my bum feel weird. I don't get it. I'm clearly not as adventurous as the modern... As the people in greys. The modern greys person. No. All the bum stuff. I've not got involved yet. No. Yeah. Maybe I'll give it a go. Well, it's fucking... It's all the rage. People love it. Isn't that where a man's tree spot is? right there you go what's a G spot what makes you oh I don't know anything about that you know that right so if you're in the greys area our email is thebuckleys at platform media dot UK if you're if you want your butt plug back if you would like it back we'll be a mediator we'll go between you and Jamie we'll get it back to its rightful home the case of the greys butt plug we'll get to the bottom of it thanks guys for those they are grim you have beaten my definitely beaten my used plaster the point of it was things that you see all the time and you realise they're grim not fucking butt plugs well they've gone I'll take what you've said and I'll double it they've absolutely raised us so thank you for that I'm going to drink some beer and then we've got to get on to the theme of this week's podcast, which I always forget there is one.

27:39This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling? Smart move. Another smart move? Getting help from one of State Farm's 19 ,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto. Bundling, just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state.

28:29Clair Buckley:From a browse to a bike ride, this summer, find more on Facebook. Hey, Chicago. Class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled. walk out ready for whatever's next visit your nearest croc store today right let's go let's go says claire today's theme of the podcast is the great debate what's that i hear you say after discussing whether those listener updates are acceptable or not they're all unacceptable all of them were put all of them are great we can all get behind all those ones we thought we'd open up the discussion to some everyday great debates or mass debates if you will that's written where is that written it is written there um so with that said it's not written there it is i'm pointing at it for you there claire mass debates yes great debates or mass debates if you will so with that said let's have a look at some everyday great debates that divide the people and let's put them to bed once and for all.

29:54Clair Buckley:Me and you? Mm-hmm. We're going to bed, baby. Let's do it. Sorry. I always apologise afterwards, don't we? Hey, how do you pronounce this, Claire? Now, I believe it's a type of picture. Is that right? It's a gif. I'd say gif. Yeah, gif. Some people say jif. No, wrong. Some people say jif. Jif's the cleaning stuff. Yes, it used to be called sif. Did? No, it used to be called Jeff. It's now called Seth. That's correct. Yeah. That's the one. Do you know why? No. Because it was called Jif in the UK. And I think I brought this up on Graham Norton or something. This is one of my classic anecdotes. It was called Jif in the UK.

30:41Clair Buckley:I don't know how we got on talking about this on Graham Norton. It was called Jif in the UK. It was called Sif everywhere in Europe. Right. And the company were just like, can we just call it SIF in the UK as well? And then it was, you know, we don't have to make special packaging and stuff. Yeah, fair. So then it became SIF in the UK. Fair. There you go. I saw something today that confused me. And I'm just wondering if that, because just on the language thing. Go on, Claire. Go on, Claire. There was a guy on the train next to us, right? And they were, I think they were Spanish from what I could hear.

31:11He had tattoos. Yeah. Right? But his tattoos were in English. he had a tattoo going up his arm that said loyal he had something on his neck that said I think how close did you get to this guy he was not the seat next to me but the one after I think it said live forever no that is a shit tattoo that's my tattoo but I noticed the words that he had tattooed on him were in English but he wasn't English or British it just made me wonder I was like huh I wonder why

31:47Clair Buckley:that might be the sort of British equivalent of when we get something Chinese on our arm maybe yeah maybe we go oh we want it to say loyal or something like that like in Chinese yeah when you take it to a Chinese person it says butt plug yeah they were all the rage in the 90s the Chinese symbol tattoo yeah she's got one on her arm the Chinese one is on her stomach. Not that I've checked it out. She's got a cross on her arm. And a band on the other one. Anyway, should a sandwich... You loved the Space Girls, didn't you, babe? Listen, they were my awakening. They were my, you know... Christ. Right, yeah.

32:38Clair Buckley:When that happens, yeah. I suppose it's the boy equivalent of like riding a horse or something for a girl but doesn't that happen to like girls if they're sort of i don't think it does if they're sort of entering no okay we're gonna move on they go right horse riding or something no bloody hell this is no no no or sitting on a washing machine i knew you were gonna say that i knew you were gonna say that is that a thing No! No? Alright, let's get back on. Claire, you've derailed us here. I'm trying to masturbate here. Should, now, me and you are going to fall out now. Go on. Should a sandwich be cut diagonally, diagonally, or horizontally?

33:28Horizontally.

33:29Clair Buckley:Horizontally. Yeah. I said horizontally. Yeah, I thought you were trying to be weird. I thought you were being weird. I said that and I was like, that didn't sound right. I like a triangle. Yeah, who do you think you are? I like a triangle. Who the fuck do you think you are? Nowadays. People who do it in a triangle, give me a break. I love a triangle. If I like a sausage sandwich or an egg sandwich or something, I like a triangle. No, no. I tell you the only reason I'm okay with a triangle is when it's a toasty. If you don't let me finish a fucking sentence. I don't mind triangle toasties.

34:07That's what I was trying to say.

34:08Clair Buckley:Toilet paper, over or under? Over. Pineapple on pizza. No. I'm a no, but this is such a good one, the pineapple on pizza one, because it's so... People like it. It's not good. But people don't just like it. The people that like it are passionate about it, and the people that don't like it are also passionate about it. It's such a weird one, how something that's so pointless, right? Well, I tell you, what I'm against is a whole hot fruit. Yeah. Don't like it. Cooked fruit, hot fruit, apple pie. Or a hot pear with caramel. No. An ice cream. No. It's no good. Could Jack have fit on the door in the movie Titanic?

34:51Clair Buckley:It looked like he could. It did look like he could. Apparently they did a thing where they tried it and it didn't work. And they proved that it didn't work. Yeah. Maybe she would have sunk. Yeah, maybe. Maybe it was too much. Oh, now there's an awakening. Fucking Jack and Titanic. I went to watch it, mate. Fucking hell. Everybody wanted a Jack. That was my second 12 film that I went to see. Yeah. Told my mum and dad I was seeing something else. Right. How did you get in? Did they not? It was the 90s. No one gave a fuck. I had to tell my mum and dad that I did go and see Titanic because they were like, where the fuck have you been?

35:31For what I was long?

35:34Clair Buckley:I remember I was like fucking hell I was like Jesus Christ I had to like there was a payphone in the cinema I had to call him and go I've just left the movie and they're like where have you been I went to see Titanic yeah it was quite raunchy wasn't it there was one scene there was one scene where he draws her yeah and there was another scene in the car it was all steamed up in the car it was great very sexy very sexy is Die Hard a Christmas movie yes and I will die on this hard hill It's one of our family Christmas movies. And I think Bruce Willis came out and said it wasn't, and I disagree. Let's not talk about Bruce Willis.

36:12Clair Buckley:He's a hero of mine. He's literally a hero of mine. Yeah, he is. Yeah, I love Bruce Willis. Let's not... No, I do. I love him. But he said it wasn't a Christmas film, and I think it is. It's definitely a Christmas film. The problem is it was a summer blockbuster. I think it was released in July. Yeah. Set in Christmas. Yeah. For us, it's a Christmas film. It's the first one, isn't it? The first film we watch, the day we decorate, we put the lights up and the trees up and all that, and the first thing we do is watch Die Hard. We watch Die Hard. I fucking love that film so much. It's such a great film.

36:46Clair Buckley:This next one, I don't understand, James, at all whatsoever. I'm just going to read it, and you might have to explain what this is. I'm just going to read what this says, Claire. You tell me if this makes sense. I'm just going to read it. Sock, shoe, sock, shoe or sock, sock, shoe, shoe? Sock, sock, shoe, shoe. 100%. What does that mean? So he's asking, do you put a sock on then a shoe on while your other foot's still bare? Who does that? Or do you put both socks on then both shoes on? Who's doing that? I think some people do. That is a debate. So for one minute of your life you're one sock and one shoe on?

37:23Yeah. And your other foot's sitting there bare?

37:25Clair Buckley:My socks go on before my trousers because the trousers go over the sock. Yeah. Ideally, I would do that. I'm pants, socks, then the trousers. Yeah. Then eventually I'll get around to putting the shoes on once I leave. Yeah, 100%. That's bonkers. Do you wet your toothbrush before or after applying the toothpaste? It's before for me. Both for me. Then it becomes too watery. So I wet my toothbrush, put the toothpaste on, wet it again, brush my teeth. Then it becomes too... Thank you. I'm getting some nods. Right, well let me tell you Let me tell you Because according to the 1994 Dental Association The 90s, absolutely No, it's just what my dentist said I don't give a fuck You don't even need water I know, but I need it I need lots of water all the time Then it becomes, you're diluting it too much I love it Do you sit or stand to wipe?

38:19Set, set

38:19Clair Buckley:I used to stand when I was like seven set no you don't get up until you're done unless it's a bit do you stand no i don't i know i set but if it's a bit i remember asking a mate about this you maybe need to be sure and he was like oh i stand sometimes i gotta get a foot up on the toilet oh jesus lord who was that chris to get right in there no it was a bloke called chris but you don't know him oh okay sticking with the toilet paper yeah um do you fold or scrunch toilet paper who scrunches i can scrunch slightly but then you're exposed i have to like if i'd like a glove i'd like a toilet paper glove i use a lot of toilet paper as well and i know it's not good for the environment and i know i'm gonna get cancelled saying that now i bet i do because it's not the 90s anymore, which is unfortunate.

39:14Clair Buckley:But I do, I'm generous with my toilet paper because I don't, the last thing I want to do is touch a bit of shit. And sometimes it does happen. I'm scrubbing my hands and stuff like this, like freaking out. It should have won shit. Ew! Have I got it? Have I got it all? That's grim. No, I can make a better toilet paper go a long way. I'm not that bad. If sometimes, because I don't scrunch it, the whole hand is covered. But sometimes, if it's a sticky one, the toilet paper will shift in the hand. And then there might be a bit of hand exposed. And then I've got to go, oh Christ, I've got shit on my hands now.

39:57Clair Buckley:It freaks me out. You've got to fold. I might start wrapping around. No, you wouldn't. But it costs us a fortune. Milk in first or last when making tea? last is it rude to recline your airplane seat yes I think so a lot of people don't a lot of people don't especially if you're in economy what's the fucking point I wouldn't be able it's just that for you but the person behind you it affects them so much I know I hate it I just don't have it in me to be able to do that to someone when does the evening actually start now I've got controversial views on this well I know on the dot when my evening starts Go.

40:38Five.

40:39Clair Buckley:That's what I was going to say. That's not controversial. I think a lot of people go... Eight. I think a lot of people are like, that's well early. That's what, listen... I wouldn't say five o 'clock in the afternoon. No, it's not. Five o 'clock is the evening. Four o 'clock in the afternoon. Absolutely. 100%. Five o 'clock is evening. Listen, if we're talking about... It was 20 past five when all the kids' TV shows stopped. Yeah. If we're talking about what's acceptable as in, like, if we were to get... Like a phone call or something. I could forgive that up until about 6, 6.30. I think after that, you're done.

41:16You're locked in. You're chilling. You're in the house. No. That's what I'm saying. No.

41:22Clair Buckley:Yeah, exactly. But my evening starts at 5 on the dock. Shut the blinds. Lamp on. Chill out with the kids. You got your morning. Get your dinner started. You got your morning. That stops at midday, obviously. Yep. We all agree on that one. You got your afternoon. That stops at five. Yep. You've got your evening. That gets to eight. Yep. And then you're into night. Then you're at night. Yeah. I agree. I'm glad we got to the bottom of that. Is it okay to pee in the shower? It's not okay. That's all I'm going to say. I agree that it's not okay. But, you know. I think it's fine. It's not fine. It's not.

41:59Clair Buckley:I don't think you should piss in the shower. I think it's fine. But what do you want me to do? Listen, there's two types of people in the water. those people who pee in the shower and those people who lie about peeing in the shower it all goes in the same place everybody pees in the shower and I make sure I do it in the I'm not like just doing it over up at the dry end of the shower no like watching it all trickle in and stuff no, peeing in the shower is fine I'm doing it in the water so it all gets all sloshed up and stuff and your feet, oh nice no because I spread my feet apart you step back so there we go, we've sorted that we've got to the bottom of all of those things literally to the bottom of a lot of stuff there if you've got any debates mass debates that you want finite answer on a conclusion our email is thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at Instagram or TikTok at thebuckleyspod Hey Claire do you know what time it is?

43:00Clair Buckley:No you don't I'll tell you it's time for Bang for Buck

43:19Clair Buckley:Right you keep saying that you're embarrassed about that James right? James can I tell you how much? You're rocking along to it. You were so and you were looking at your computer there but you were like this. Just say you're proud of it it's fine. Right, we need a new one. They can be shit, but they've got to be new. Also, did you double up on the vocals? Yeah. Yeah, good. Very Dave Grohl. Right. Oh, we get it. I've got Will, Claire. I've got Will. I've got a bang for buck here. This one's from Macaulay. Oh, Macaulay? The subject is heroes wear capes. I like that name. Around the early 2020s, I purchased a replica 1989 Batman suit for about£800.

44:07For what?

44:08Clair Buckley:£800. Don't worry about that. That's not important. It's a replica 1989 Batman suit. It's the Michael Keaton one. Because I am bat-mad. Safe to say, my son loved it and we went as Batman and Robin for Halloween. Oh, look at his little boy. And now I'm waiting patiently for the world to go mental before it becomes suitable to wear it in public. Now, I don't think you can wear it in public, but that's a good... That's a good... That's a proper... That is a proper suit. Wow. I would argue... Looks rubbery as well. The only thing I would argue about is that I believe the boy is wearing the Teen Titans Go version.

44:49Clair Buckley:Do you remember the cartoon that Alborz used to? Yeah, I love Teen Titans Go. I mean, there wasn't Robin in the 1989 Batman, was there, or Batman Returns? So I don't know what you're supposed to do. That's all right, though, isn't it? Look at all his Funko Pops in the background and I see he's got a Thor glove. You're a geek, ain't you, Macaulay? He is a geek. You're a little geek. He is a geek. And he should be a bit disappointed in himself. Because you've mugged your son off there. You've got him a little Argos costume and I'm sure he's having a load of fun and you're there with a replica. which is the important word.

45:30Clair Buckley:No, 800 quid. Yeah. No. I mean, that goes into my Rocky shorts that I bought for Harrison. Yeah, no. The Apollo Creed Rocky shorts. I mean, that was 80 quid. And I was like, I mean, that is a lot of money for a pair of shorts. But it was like Buckley was all embroidered into it and stuff. Yeah, I know, yeah, yeah. What are you saying, Claire? Bang for Buck or not? I'm going to say yes. No, no. That's too much. 800 quid that's a lot of money look how happy he is I know that's the point that's the point I'm trying to is he look how that's that's about three grand's worth of Funko Pops behind him he's done he's done black makeup on his eyes and everything aw but he's happy he is happy you can't put a price on that you can you can I don't think 800 quid's too bad for that and we've got one from Barry now I have seen these they've come up on my Instagram.

46:27Oh God. And I was this

46:30Clair Buckley:close. I'm shocked you haven't. The only problem is is it'd be like, oh they live there obviously. Yeah. Barry says, for your wonder wall. Nice. Saw this and thought of you. It's a ring doorbell accessory. It sits on top of your ring doorbell. It's an Oasis bucket hat. Yeah. I think they're 3D printed or something. Right, but can you, when the door rings, will it play an Oasis song? No. So then does it make sense? It does, it's just a little accessory for your ring doorbell. But what's Oasis got today with a ring doorbell? Nothing! But that's what I mean, so... But you're missing the point! No, no, but the point would be that if you press it, it would do like a Wonderwall tune.

47:18That would make sense.

47:19Clair Buckley:This is your whole thing. No, it's just got... This is your whole thing. No, that's completely... This is what I keep telling you about our marriage. You expect so much. It just doesn't make sense, no. It's not supposed to make sense. It's an accessory for your ring doorbell. It's like putting a ring on your finger. No. But that would make sense if the doorbell did an Oasis tune. I mean, that would be epic, don't get me wrong. But that's why the Oasis bucket hat would be there. That doesn't make... What's Oasis got today with a ring doorbell? nothing right that's what I mean it's just saying an Oasis fan lives here it's like if you got a mat a welcome mat with something special on it yeah but that's fine though that makes sense I got you that what one did I get Beetlejuice or something yeah or like or what if I got you an Adams Family welcome mat yeah I'd love that you'd be like oh it doesn't it doesn't do the song it doesn't do the no because welcome mats aren't supposed to do a song that's not supposed to do a song it's not doorbells aren't supposed to do a song so there you go I've won an argument I've just won an argument with Claire right that's it for this week's episode of the Buckleys thank you so much for listening remember that you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok and don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use and if you are feeling extra generous why not go ahead and leave us a review it makes a huge difference and I'd really appreciate it and I've met a lot of you actually I've met loads of you now that have actually left reviews and stuff and I've thanked you and you're all legends.

48:53Clair Buckley:All that is left is for Claire to say... It doesn't make... We've got to finish, Claire. We're running out of studio time. See you next Thursday. See you next Thursday. That was a podcast we did. Take it, take it. Take it.

49:16Clair Buckley:Close your eyes. Exhale. Feel your body relax and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1-800-CONTACTS. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-CONTACTS.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-CONTACTS. I'm not giving up. I am selling the building. The final season of FX is the bear. The restaurant is flooded. Everything's either going to be okay.

50:02Clair Buckley:Or not. We are outgunned and we are outmanned, but we have each other. FX is the bear. The final season. All episodes now streaming on Disney plus.