James & Clair Reveal SECRET Guilty Pleasures

22:21Clair Buckley:I don't really have celebrity. I think that's more of a girl. All right, well, is there somebody that you fancy where you go, it's a bit un... You fancy quite, not fancy, but you there's quite a few old women that you are like she's nice I like the mum I like feeling like I'm talking older than that no I'd like well I'm older as well yeah no I'm talking like 70s go on who Jessica Lange she's lovely see she's a she's a sexy lady she is I love her yeah but she's old I know and she'd you know after we've you know had a little fumble or whatever she'd maybe make me some salmon and rice. Right, we're getting a bit weird now.

23:07You're getting weird.

23:08Clair Buckley:Listen, I married my crush, I suppose. But I got what I want. And now the more I think about it, the more I want, and I'm going to have to have therapy after I say this sentence, what I want is a sexy mummy.

23:28Clair Buckley:Someone that's really hot that will also look after me when I'm not well. That's, I'd look after you. That's what I'm saying, Claire. And I don't want to talk too much because this might freak you out a bit. I have married a sexy mummy because you mummy me. And also we do do stuff together. Right, fine. So you're good. You're happy. I'm fine. Yeah, I'm happy. Perfect. Perfect. it says here does Claire have any weird celebrity crushes I mean I think you were yeah my weird celebrity crush not that I knew you that much but I did see you saw you on an advert and I was like ooh it's nice love a bit of J love a bit of J I do the ladies love a bit of J yeah yeah they don't want to admit like I could go up to loads of women right now we could go out in the street and I'll go do you find me attractive and 10 out of 10 of them will probably say no.

24:30Clair Buckley:And I'll just be like, why are you lying to yourself? They just can't admit it. Why can't you just admit it? Okay. All right. Do we have some listener emails? We do. Here are the listeners' best and worst guilty pleasures. Okay. And we're going to either agree or make them feel bad. This is from Sam. Sam says, hi, both. My childhood... Childhood. Hi, both. My childhood guilty pleasure is that every Sunday after a roast dinner, I would save a couple of Yorkshire puddings to have a scoop of Nutella on them as dessert. Yorkshire pudding batter, to me, is basically pancake mix. So I feel like it counts as a dessert.

25:17Clair Buckley:If you don't believe me, try it. No. Love to know your thoughts. No, I don't think I can. It doesn't sound... What's the big difference between a Yorkshire pudding, though? and if you take the Yorkshire pudding out of the context of Sunday dinner, what's the difference between that and a croissant? Maybe it is just like a block, like a brain block, but I couldn't imagine eating that with something sweet. Keris says vanilla ice cream and barbecue sauce. That's nuts. Oh, get out of here. Get out of here. That is nuts. That's grim. Oh, here you go. Go on. This is from Jacob. Cheese and ketchup sandwiches.

25:55What?

25:56Clair Buckley:Didn't your dad used to have that for his lunch? Every day, yeah. For his packed lunch? Yeah, when he was on the buses. Yeah. Every day, cheese and ketchup, absolutely grim. I used to, and this seems nuts to me now. When we first got a Breville maker when I was a kid and I made a cheese and ham toasty, I would put the tomato ketchup in it and then it'd be burning hot. Yeah, yeah. Richard's got one here. Yeah, my guilty pleasure is 90 day fiance. Utter trash, but so addictive. And I'm a 54 year old man. Yeah, so he's on my lines. I don't enjoy dating reality. I just like... No, I don't think I do.

26:37No, I don't. I've figured that out.

26:39Clair Buckley:I just like really dramatic people. I've made a conscious effort to try and stay away from the reality TV stuff. Because I do. like when you like over the years when you have been watching Housewives of New Jersey and stuff I love New Jersey I can't help but just be like right and what so what did she do before this James you loved Housewives of New Jersey it's good it's good you loved it it's brilliant it's compelling television yeah do you remember that time you were upstairs and I came up to see what you were doing you were watching old series by yourself I was trying to catch up with you because I was I was like oh I keep asking I keep like dipping into this.

27:21Clair Buckley:I keep bothering Claire all the time when she's trying to watch her show. But I feel like they're on all the time. They're the ones that I always catch you watching. The reunion. And I don't actually know what happened before it. So I was a little bit like, oh, maybe I should. Yeah. Maybe I should have a little catch up. No, I love it. Robert. It's a standard one, but I enjoy picking my nose. Love a rummage. You do love a rummage. I fucking love getting involved. You do. Big G says, It's not a guilty pleasure, is it? This is just the... Half a pint of tenants, Smirnoff ice and a shot of Sambuca.

27:57Clair Buckley:All in one pint. That's a turbo shandy. Oh, God. That's what that is. I can't do Sambuca. And Amber says, does watching old Buckley's vlogs count as a guilty pleasure? Yes. No, it doesn't. You should be ashamed of yourself. No, you shouldn't at all. Have you got any guilt, apart from the housewives things? Housewives. I do like um popping spots I am if I've not if I've forgotten to cut my toenails for a while and then I've got a big one especially if my little toenail gets big there's something about it it's very thick oh Jesus Christ so I'll cut that off um like the other night I did it like a few weeks ago yeah you don't know this I did it secretly what do you do I was like I cut it off and I was like feeling it.

28:48Clair Buckley:I was like, God, that's thick. And I was like trying to break it and stuff. And I was like, wow, this is a really powerful toenail. So it was like steel or something. Like I was trying to break it. It was like cutting into my fingers. It would slice me before I could break this toenail. And I was just like, that's amazing. And I did it just like while the lights were off and stuff, it was time to go to sleep. And I couldn't quite see it either. So I just put it on the bedside table. And I was like, I'll look at that in the morning. and then one of the boys it was Harrison came into the bedroom in the morning and I went mate you've got to check this out oh that is grim again not ashamed honestly oh that's made me feel a bit ill yeah shall we move on yeah alright let's have a little swipe and we've got some more correspondence from you lot this episode is brought to you by Go Henry we think it's important our kids know their stuff when it comes to money don't we We certainly do.

29:45And like when they're asking for a new hockey stick or a new video game, we make sure to let them know that money does not grow on trees.

29:53Clair Buckley:It doesn't. Not at the moment anyway. I think money growing trees is just around the corner, mate. It's going to be great. Move on. Now, the kids grow up so fast these days, there's no time like the present when it comes to teaching your kids important money skills. You can start right now with Go Henry. What is Go Henry, I hear you ask, Claire. Well, it's a smart app and a debit card for kids aged six to 18, giving the tools they need to learn about money and investing for today's world. Nice. And with a GoHenry Junior Stocks and Shares, Issa, we can pop some money away for our kids. The money has a chance to grow in the background and then they can get access to the money at 18.

30:34Lovely. So they can put money towards, I don't know, university? Maybe. Or maybe their first lad's holiday.

30:42Clair Buckley:Either way, they'll be clued up enough to know what to do next. GoHenry, where kids go to learn and grow money. Visit GoHenry.com to find out more. Hey, Claire. Yeah. I don't suppose you've got some T's and C's for me, have you? Absolutely, I do. Capital at risk, junior ISA rules and terms and conditions apply. Investment services are provided by GoHenry Limited, a firm authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority. The GoHenry card is issued by IDT Financial Services Limited, a principal member of Visa Europe. Smashed it. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast.

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31:47Clair Buckley:Hey, Claire. Yeah? I've got a quick message here from Graham. Graham? Yeah, do you remember we were talking, we love talking about like companies and shops and things with puns? Yes. I think we've got the ultimate one. Oh, what? I think we do. Graham says, hi, James and Claire. Firstly, thanks for doing the pod. Love it. Never miss an episode. Thank you, Graham. Preach. Listening to your best listener compilation and the section about funny company names. It reminded me of a waste management company that operates in central Scotland called Shite Shifters. No way. Spell S-H-Y-T-E. Oh, my God. See attached pictures of their lorry.

32:30Wow.

32:31Clair Buckley:And they've got like a poo in the style of the Ghostbusters logo. That's well good. How are you getting away with that? Septic tanks emptied. Shite shifters, waste management services. Wow. Absolutely brilliant. Another email here from Max who says, hello, James and Claire. Your podcast is utterly adequate. Five stars. Thank you, Max. I'm sitting on a delayed train and boredom has compelled me to write to you. I love it. I too am incredibly exercise phobic. I've done PT classes, spin, you name it. I've given up on it in my unfit 35 years on this planet rapidly. Yeah, can't do it either. This was until three months ago when I discovered yoga.

33:15Clair Buckley:See, that's my next step. That should be a guilty pleasure, Max, not going to lie. That is my next step. I'm this close to doing that. Really? Yeah, I think so. I did a Pilates class once. Pilates as well. And it was really hard. I thought it would be easy. I'm going to be doing shit like that soon. Max says here, in three months, I've gone from a flabby, sweaty lump to a slightly more flexible, flabby, sweaty lump. And I love it. Wow. I have become so boring with it that even my wife, who's incredibly supportive of every new obsession I pick up, is mocking me relentlessly. Anyway, James, get downward dogging.

33:54Clair Buckley:You might find, like I did, that you enjoy it. and can become nearly as boring as me. Genuinely love the show. Highlight of my work travel days is when I can binge a few in one hit. Namaste, Max. That's what, Max, I'm about two or three steps behind you, man. I'll be, yeah. I mean, that's where I'm heading. I don't think you, you're very unflexible. That's the thing. Very unflexible. But that's the thing, you start doing this and then you go, oh, I'm so flexible now. It might actually be good for you, to be fair. I know. It will be. Because you literally can't lift your leg or anything. I've got my hamstrings especially are very, very tight.

34:37Clair Buckley:I've got very tight hamstrings. Okay, yeah. I've always said that. You have, actually. I've always said that. In fact, I made you put it in your bowels when we were getting married. Hamstrings tight or loose? I take thee. You're really weird today. Yeah. Really weird. Oh, yeah. We've got another message from James, who wants to talk about official stellar consumption guidance. James says... Oh, fuck off, James. James says, hi, James and Claire. My name's James. I'm from Chesterfield, and I need to talk to you about beer. I said my name too many times now. Does it not sound like your name anymore?

35:18Clair Buckley:It just becomes a noise, doesn't it? Do you know what? I get that way all the time. Mum. No. Go on. The word wardrobe. Wardrobe. Yeah. See if I say wardrobe More than a couple of times I'm like What even is that? What is that? Wardrobe Wardrobe Wardrobe Wardrobe The fuck is that? So James wants to talk about beer Specifically his uncle Uncle beer He says here My uncle He's retired now Which really just means He's gone full time On his true vocation Professional stellar drinking Love it Decades of research No peer review, no funding, just a man and a glass and an unshakable commitment to the craft.

36:01Clair Buckley:And before he hung up his pint glass for good, he passed the knowledge down to me. I assume he's passed away. Now I'm passing it to you because frankly, it feels selfish to keep this to myself. Here's the method. Get the biggest glass you own. Put it on the table. Don't hold it. Put it down like you mean business. now pour the stellar straight in dead center no angle none of this tilt it at 45 degrees nonsense your dad taught you let it go absolutely mental big ridiculous head then and this is the hard part james you wait you let it settle then you top it up let it settle again repeat until the glass is full and your patience is in tatters what you are left with is a pint that's basically been de-gassed by hand.

36:50Clair Buckley:No blow, no burping, just clean, actual stellar flavour like it's meant to taste. It took me 46 years to learn this. I'm giving it to you for free. What's his name? Sorry. Anyway, give it a go and report back. Terrible podcast. Absolutely awful. I'll never get that hour back in my life. Five stars. What do you mean? What's his name again? What's his name? the guy who wrote in oh yeah I feel like I should have knelt down and sort of so I actually arise I actually did start doing that yeah about two years ago because I saw this random video saying because I was always you pour it so that the head doesn't go crazy and somebody I saw a video of somebody saying you should pour it in straight it goes all crazy let it settle yeah because then it doesn't bloat you as much and as a little woman I was like oh that's a great tip so I do actually do that I do that as well but for different reasons you know when he was talking about the patience thing yeah I don't have any right so you might you know how I just when we got cans I just pour it straight in yeah and then and then but I don't let the I don't wait for the head to sort of settle or anything I just get straight in all that fizz I just go just go straight up in me heart's going yeah yeah Yeah.

38:11Now, that is actually a very good, that's a very good email for our listeners, any beer drinkers who didn't know that. It is actually.

38:19Clair Buckley:Thank you, James. Respect. Right. Let's swipe and have a feature. OK. OK, Claire, it's time for a feature. And this week, I feel like we haven't done it for a little while, actually. This week, it's Buck My Life. Well, people say shit happens, this much is true. But it's not so cool when it happens to you. Buck my life. Nice. Seems really long this time, I don't know why. But first, a quick reminder to keep your stories coming in by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or messaging us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. We've got some Buck My Life stories here, Claire. Okay. This is what can happen when a guilty pleasure might go too far.

39:07Clair Buckley:Right. Here's one from Dan. Danny. Dan, who says, three second rule or 24 hour rule. Depends what it is. I once bought a kebab after a summer night out, took it home and didn't eat it. I dumped it in the outside grey bin the next day at 9am, completely unwrapped and untouched. 6pm rolls around and I just fancied a kebab what did I do? that's right I took it out of the bin and ate it no still alive to tell the tale what's the grossest thing you two have ever done? no god I might have to think about that one oh my god listen I've been in that situation where I've regretted putting something in the bin where I've maybe ordered something or I've had something the night before and I've not kept the leftovers and I'll wake up and then by the afternoon I'm like, man, I could have ate that right now.

40:10Clair Buckley:Yeah. I've never went back in for that. Listen, I can be pretty grim. I draw the line at bin food. The outside bin as well? Yeah. Not even in the house? I'm one of those guys that didn't like sharing water bottles with me mates and stuff over at the five-a-side and things. Yeah, no, you're quite Jeremy. Yeah. you're not a germaphobe but you're very like I'm a little bit see I'll like pick something up and eat it that doesn't bother me not outside just in the house the only thing I can think of that I've done that's even close to that is and I do it quite a lot and I always think once I've done that I always think that's quite gross when I'm scraping the dinner plates if we've all had dinner I'll scrape the dinner plates into the food bin and then I'll lick the fork and I do that I mean yeah there's nothing wrong with that I do that quite a lot but it's but it's everybody's though everyone's not all the time but oh no I didn't know this oh you're grim not all the time but sometimes like I'll take like Jude's plate and I'll like scrape it and then I'll just be like then I'll is that really gross is that really gross yeah

41:24oh god it's not like it's like a really good dinner if there's like a bit of mashing gravy on or something? What if we've got people round?

41:30Clair Buckley:Do you do it then? No. Don't do it then. I don't even do it with yours. I do it with the boys. I think you're just saying that now. We ain't going to lick other folks' forks. I think you're a folk licker. No. No. We've got another one here from Ashley. Her message is called The Draw of Shame. Hi Buckleys. For years, my guilty pleasure of choice was Mawam Stripes. Oh, I love a Mawam. M-A-O-A-M. Love them. You know, the fruity, chewy sweets no one is ever quite sure how to pronounce. Malwam. Yeah. Yeah. I could eat a whole packet in one go with no shame. In uni, I had a bedside cabinet with two large drawers and one would always be filled with Malwams.

42:17Clair Buckley:My housemate always thought I was unhinged when they saw how many packets I would buy when we went food shopping. But because I was a lazy fuck, I disregarded all of the sweet wrappers, along with used tissues and other rubbish, in the second drawer. So a drawer just became a bin. Yeah. I know it's disgusting, but I'm a firm believer that we all do disgusting things behind closed doors which should never see the light of day. Whenever I ran out of malwams, I cleared out the bin drawer too, maybe once a month. That's fine. If you're going through so many malwams, just do one big clear out. Not a month, but sure.

42:56Clair Buckley:One night, I was out with my housemates and got talking to someone cute. Let's call him Dave. Feeling confident, I invited Dave back to my place. By this point, those double vodka and Red Bulls were in full force. And I led him straight to the bedroom. I told him to make himself comfortable, because apparently that's what you're supposed to do when you invite someone back, and headed for the bathroom. As I was coming out, I heard Dave shout out, What the fuck? When I came back into my room, I saw he had opened both bedside drawers. Was he digging through your drawers? Yeah. That's not cool. Yeah.

43:33Clair Buckley:Yeah, Dave's the weirdo in this situation as far as I'm concerned. I can only assume that he was looking for a condom or he was just being nosy. Either way, now he knew about my Mowam obsession and my rubbish drawer. I can explain, I murmured, trying not to crack a smile, because whenever someone says I can explain, the next thing that comes out their mouth is usually bullshit. And mine certainly was. I just really like Malwams. Safe to say he didn't stay the night and luckily we never crossed paths again. But my guilty pleasure for Malwams has never been the same. Fuck my life. That's not a bad one.

44:12Clair Buckley:First of all, Dave is the... He found some sweetie rappers. Dave is the biggest weirdo. Yeah. Dave is the biggest weirdo. There is no bloke going back to a girl's house that they've just met and being put off by some mailman rappers. I know, yeah, he didn't stay the night. Yeah, so that's weird. Going through someone's drawers. That's weird. And also then, do it secretly. Don't be like, oh, what the fuck is this? Yeah. Like, it's none of your business. Shut the door. Absolutely, yeah. Pull your drawers up and get to fuck. I don't think Ashley's done anything wrong. No. And I think Dave's a fucking weirdo.

44:47Yeah, you keep eating your mawam's hen. Don't worry about it.

44:49Clair Buckley:We've got another one here from Maddy. Hi, James. Can I say, though, actually on that, I do something like that that's annoying. With face wipes? No. You do it with face wipes? What do I do with face wipes? Because you always wipe your face before bed. Yeah. They end up... I have a wee pile. I clear them. Yeah, but you let them stack up. A wee bit, a wee bit. But when I'm downstairs in the living room and I've had a packet of crisps, because of the dog, because of the dog, and I can't be bothered to get up straight away to put it in the bin. I do put it down the side of the couch and then obviously I forget about it.

45:25In our couch, you have to constantly fix the cushions and every time I do it, there's like a couple of little McCoys and knickknacks come flying up.

45:34Clair Buckley:I do need to stop doing that. Now, if I did that... I wouldn't mind if you fixed the couch cushions. Right. Maddy says, Hi, Claire and James. Long-term listener. First time writing in. I've got an embarrassing story that still haunts me. And this was seven years ago. It involves my mother-in-law, an Asda bag, and a man I should have stopped trusting immediately. Oh, God. Okay. So, before we got our own place, we were living with his parents. I decided to have a clear out, a very specific clear out. I'd recently upgraded my collection of, let's call them, bedroom allies. Okay. Okay. Thanks to my blue light discount on lovehoney.com How many do you have where you need to have a fucking clear it?

46:22Jesus

46:22Clair Buckley:So this wasn't just a tidy This was a full system upgrade Out with the old In with the Bluetooth What? Rabbit swans, you name it, I had it Bluetooth So you can control it with your phone? You can control everything by your phone these days, Claire Now, obviously, you can't exactly drop those off at the local Oxfam So I put everything in an Asda bag, tied it up, handed it to my boyfriend and said, bin immediately. He had one job. Oh, God. This man didn't throw it away. He just put it on the dining table on display like it's a fruit bowl. Did he know what it was? Like we're hosting come dine with me.

47:04Clair Buckley:One of those I'll do it later moments. And did he do it? Did he fuck? A few hours later, I walk downstairs, see the bag and my soul just leaves my body. Before I can grab it, his mum comes into the dining room, sees the bag and picks it up. And I'm just stood there like, don't open it, don't open it, please don't ruin my life today. She opens it and then silence. She looks in the bag, slowly looks at me and just says, oh, I didn't realise you were having a clear out. And then this woman just ties the bag back up, puts it down and goes, I was young once, impressive collection. no way and we have never ever spoken about it again moral of the story never trust a man with a simple task love the podcast although I'm hoping everyone I recommend it to isn't listening to this story from Maddy wow I mean your mother-in-law finding your dildos not a good situation to be in is it?

48:01no standing in the kitchen

48:03Clair Buckley:I'd think that's better than finding your mother-in-law's dildos though very true I'd rather it that way Would you rather Edith found yours or you found hers? I'd rather Edith found mine. That's it for this week's episode of The Buckleys. Thanks for listening. Remember, you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at The BuckleysPod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you are feeling extra generous, give us a good review.

48:37Clair Buckley:We'd appreciate it. All that is left is for Claire to say... See you next Thursday. Go on, Chiefs!