James Buckley Got HEADBUTTED

0:00Legally, we can't say drinking Storm makes you smarter and more focused. But with zero sugar, 200 milligrams of caffeine and immunity support, you're smarter and more focused for drinking Storm. Storm. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life. Yeah, you feel that? You feel that in your arms? How tired your arms are? Isn't that great? No, it's not. It's f***ing awful. The next day, it hurt to sit on the toilet. Yeah. I could not get back up. Three, two, one, beep. Three, two, one, beep. Three, two, one, beep. And it was like... And I was just like... One of my famous sayings, Claire, you can't leave the house, can you?

0:45No.

0:48We're rolling. We're rolling, baby. Hello and welcome to The Buckleys, the podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit, and invite you into our lives. before we get into it I just would like to remind you that you can get in touch for your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk and of course you can message us on at what? Hmm. Too cocky. Yeah. You can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok and don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use and if you do enjoy the show if you like the show leave us a nice review that would be great.

1:22Or live one. Huh? Or live a review. Liver review. Liver. Liver review. Yeah. My liver's got a bad review. Oh, Claire, how are they? How art thou? Am I right? How are you? I'm all right. You say weird stuff when you're trying hard. You say weird stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I do. How are you? How are you though? You good?

1:52did you did you answer that question i'm great yeah i'm absolutely fine okay did i ask i'm fine i'll be all right i'll be all right i'm deteriorating you are deteriorating um but yeah how are you um no i'm on uh i am um anyway how am i i'll tell you how i am go on professional right right making a podcast come on Buckley I am I'm good I'm alright I'm now I've done five weeks of gym you have yeah gym's not a guy by the way no no no because hot dog would be furious hot dog if you started things up with gym again I do at least three days a week at the old gym you're doing well you are doing well I fell off how many times did I come with you twice once twice Twice.

2:45Was it twice? Been twice. Right. Yeah. I hate it. Yeah, I can't do it. Absolutely hate it. It's just not... It's so fucking boring. It's just not my place. I don't feel like I fit in there. I feel like everybody's looking at me going, she doesn't know what she's doing. And they're right. And I feel it and I don't like it. It's not my place. I want... I'm thinking of getting some hypnotherapy. Right. To make me enjoy going to the gym. Okay. Because I feel like when I'm at the gym, I look around and I'm like, everyone else here really loves being here for some reason. I don't know what they're getting out of this.

3:24I don't know if that's true. And they're feeling the pump. And it's like, yeah, you feel that. You feel that in your arms, how tired your arms are. Isn't that great? No, it's not. It's fucking awful. Yeah. It doesn't make me feel good at all. I feel shit coming out of the gym. Yeah. Then the next day, all your arms and legs and stuff are all sore. Yeah. Yeah. And other people are going, yeah, yeah, that's the... I can really feel it. Oh, yeah, I can feel that today. Yeah, no, I hate it. I went, the first time I went back with you, which was a few weeks ago now, the next day it hurt to sit on the toilet.

3:57Yeah. I could not get back up. Right. And that's ridiculous. And also I had to bend into... What do you call me? I had to bend into empty the dishwasher. And my God. Yeah. I thought my legs were going to snap. I understand that exercise is important, especially at the stage of life I'm at. I just don't like it. I just don't like it at all. I really don't. I wish I did. I really wish I did. Well, what did I do? What? I did a very, what did you call it? You said it looked very 80s. Yeah, what did you do? I bought myself. Oh, God, yeah. Claire's bought this bit of like home gym kit. it genuinely looks like something that was built in 1989, like the colour scheme of it and how sort of just cheap and shit it looks, Claire.

4:49Right? You know, like something your mum would have? Yeah. And she'd be like, I'm getting into fitness now. And then she'd be in the living room. And it's this thing where you put your knees in it. They're like stirrups. Yeah. You hold on to the top, you lie on it, and you put your knees on it, and then you need to like crunch your knees up. You need to bring your knees up to your chest. It's really hard. It is really, really hard. I only used it once, but it was really hard. But it looks really something that my mum would have thought. I know it does. And now it's just sitting in the kitchen.

5:15Something Jane Fonda would have used. But I thought, I don't like the gym, but James is getting all fit. And you're really, you are good. You've got quite good willpower with stuff. You can be like, I'm getting up and I'm going. Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard. I know, but you do do it. I don't do it. See, if I don't want to do something. I don't do it I never push myself to do it the thing is you look like you and I look like me I keep constantly making sure my belly's not hanging out while we're doing this podcast that's why I've got to go to the gym I've got a belly as well you just wear baggy t-shirts I love a baggy t-shirt nobody knows what's going on under there and it's nobody's business I like tight fitted clothes but I've not got the skinny little body that I used to have anymore.

6:11So I'm getting down the gym. You're getting there. I don't like it, man. I really don't. You should buy an at home. I'm going to. Are you? I'm going to. Are you? I'm going to because I'm clearing out the garage at the moment. Yeah. Oh, that's right. You're going to put sand in the garage. I'm throwing everything in our garage away. I'm getting this thing where it's got wires and stuff and the bench press on it and things. Right, okay. So you really know what you're doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wires and stuff? No, I did a lot of research, and all the stuff that I do in the gym I can do on this thing.

6:42Okay. It's like a multi-purpose... Well, because we do also have a running machine in the garage. I can't use it anymore because of my knees and ankles. No, but I'm saying we... And then, so we've got a running machine, we'll have your thing, and we'll put my little Jane Fonda thing in there. Yeah. And we can go out there every day. Yeah. Because there's no excuse. No. It's just in the garage. Yeah, that would genuinely make me do it. because it's also going to the gym and also how busy it is. It's always busy. There's too many members at this gym that I go to. I spend most of the time standing around waiting to use something.

7:17Hey, Claire, I've started having, I'm not 100 % sure what it's called, laser treatment on my face because I've been, the last year or so, I've been having awful trouble with my skin. spire now than when I was a teenager which is really confusing um but I've got some like red blotches on my nose and cheeks and it's rosacea um but I've been having sort of this laser stuff it's fucking terrifying well yeah you told me that when you because you had to go in for a patch test yeah to see how my skin reacts to it that it worked out fine so then I had my first proper session no but you said when you went in for your patch test she put it on the lowest yeah Just to give you a little...

8:00And I was like, oh, what? She was like, how did that feel? I was like, yeah, it's quite hot. I was like, was that on the lowest setting? She went, yeah. Yeah. Oh, God, here we go. Yeah. It's like a big... They cover your eyes and stuff and then put some glasses on top of it. Right. But you can still see the flash through your eyelids or whatever it is. But it's terrifying. It's like waiting to be shot. Okay. Because you don't know when it's coming. and it's a big flash and it's a zap and it's like a bit of heat and stuff. Do you jump that much? Constantly. I don't think you're meant to. Like constantly.

8:38Like she'll be like beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Like it's a load of beeps, a load of flashes, right? Right, yeah. And she slowly works her way over your face. Right. And I had to go, you're going to have to give me a countdown. To every beep? Every single beep, yeah. Oh, for goodness sake. So it was like three, two, one, beep. Come on. Three, two, one, beep. I was going, she was laughing. I was like, do you mind? Do you mind doing that? I just need a, I need a countdown because I was, I was flinching so much. I was like jumping out of the chair. It's like a sort of dentist chair sort of set up.

9:16Yeah. Luckily enough, she's really, really nice and didn't make me feel too stupid. She was like, no, no, no, I've done this before with other people. And I was like, there is no one that flinches as much as me. I know that for a fact. No, that's crazy. I would get flinching the first time, but then get used to it. Yeah, I couldn't get used to it. And do you know what's really bad? Is after I said to her, can you give me a countdown? There still wasn't really a rhythm to it. So you were still flinching. It would be like three, two, one, beep. Three, two, one, beep. Three, two, one, beep. So I still wasn't prepped.

9:57You are a baby with stuff like that though I've been talking about getting laser hair removal I'm going to do the same Where? On my ears Oh I asked her about it She said yeah we can do that You told me as well You were like oh yeah I want it on my ears And she was like what? And then she looked and she went Oh yeah She went oh yeah Because it is just thick hair Yeah they are quite thick Yeah Yeah I'm thinking about getting it on my legs And my oxsters Because then you could just be like ready for wearing whatever you want. Yeah. Seems like a good idea. I think you should go for it. I'm going to do it.

10:31Well, I'll put you in touch with my... Your laser lady. With my laser lady. Okay, all right, I'm in. Have you got anything you'd like to moan about, Claire? I'll tell you what annoyed me a little bit. Not today. I think it was yesterday. And I realised that I've got a sort of... It's not... Maybe it is irrational. it makes me like it makes me really angry and I don't think it should make me as angry as it does irrational anger is good right yeah yeah really and I think every day that's what this whole podcast is sure well I think every day I'll agree with this I don't think it's crazy but I just realised the other day how angry it made me yeah go on really really loud cars or motorbikes that like we we were at the back door and I was talking to my sister and we were trying to have a conversation that happened like three times like a motorbike went by on the road and it was like and i was just like and because it kept happening it happened a couple of times i was like that is really making me mad yeah this is classic buckley's yeah i'm sure we've spoke about this before it happened like i don't know and i think it's because the sun's out the buckley thing the sun's out and all the knobs are out with our souped up cars and they revved there and I was just like shh and they park outside yeah and leave it idle in yeah it's well annoying it's well annoying yeah I've got something to moan about oh go on I got headbutted the other day not by me fucking got headbutted just trying to get just trying to get on a train right first of all can I just explain what not what happened but what you told me right i had just dropped james off at the train station and i was driving back home and i was just getting to our house and james phoned me and i thought oh god he's forgot something he's left his phone or something in the well not your phone obviously you've left something in the car and um i picked up and i was like hello and you went um somebody's just head-butted me and i was like what and i like like went to turn the car back around to come and get you and you were like well no and then you told me what actually happened yeah what happened was i was going so you know the barriers at train stations and tube stations and stuff it's very clearly marked arrow in cross that's coming the other way so i went to my one i was about to go through the I had my ticket I was about to go through the turnstile and just a load of youths youths 14 15 year old boys with their shirts off just bum rushed the turnstiles without paying just started all hopping over like the fucking it was like the scene from Lion King the stampede yeah it was exactly like that and as I'm going through you were Mufasa as I look up I see this kid he must have been about 14 or something jumping over and his head just went straight into my nose you must have been he was wearing an eye patch as well what?

13:53yeah you must have been so angry the people that work at the train station were just like that's annoying isn't it I don't know what the lesson I'm supposed to have learnt there well what's the lesson they're supposed to have learnt? no but I'm talking about me and my life what's the life lesson I've got my ticket and for paying my fare all I've got out of it is getting headbutted yeah were you furious I feel like that's something that you would have been do you know what it was so I think I'd gone past I think it broke me it was so shocking I think it broke me a little bit I think I was just like I mean I don't even know what to do now what the fuck yeah and then didn't they we've hit rock bottom and then didn't they talk to you afterwards one of them went oh that's J-Cart right I went I went yeah well not really no well yeah sort of but no I just was like maybe because one of my favourite one of my famous sayings Claire go on is like and I say this a lot don't I right I'm just like you can't leave the house can you no it's a main field up there I cannot leave the house.

15:06It's a minefield, is what you say. And that was what I was like. I stood there at the platform just going, I've got to stop leaving the house. Like, every time I leave the house, something happens. Maybe you should have spoke to them as Jacob, right? Right, and just sort of like... You should have been like, listen, guys. I could have swung a chair around, sat on it backwards. Just be like, guys, I used to be like you, yeah? All right, I used to... Sure, I bunked a train once or twice in my life. Smoked the odd doobie. but I realise there's more to life, yeah? Yeah. Come rap with me. That sort of thing.

15:40Yeah, maybe they would have listened to you. Yeah. Maybe I should go to sort of Young Offenders Institutes and stuff, do a little tour. Just be like, guys, hey. They'll kill you? Hey, guys. No, because they'll see me and they'll see me because I'll have respect because I'm Jay from the Inbetweeners. Anyway. Okay, so is that your mon? yeah I got headbutted I got headbutted for trying to get on a train that's a fair moan that's fair I agree with that loud cars and people headbutting you let's not do it anytime that I've been like headbutted and I've not been headbutted a lot in my life but well actually I think I have you know when you've got kids and stuff like that yeah I feel like you get headbutted a lot when they're a certain age oh god yeah Jude burst my lip once yeah that's right big heavy toddler head And I feel like because of the size and shape of my nose, it hurts me more than a normal person getting headbutted.

16:41Of course it does. Because it's always flush on my nose. It's never just on my cheek or something like that. It's always right there and your eyes water a little bit. Oh, what are your eyes watering? I were watering a little bit. It used to be like that. I used to get the ball kicked in my face a lot when I was at school as well when I was playing football. Yeah. And they'd be like, oh, you're crying, Buckley. I'd go, no, I'm not crying. It's just because you made my eyes water. Oh, Buckley's crying. I'm not fucking crying. The worst one of them was when it was freezing and the ball slapped you in the face.

17:13Oh, that stung. Oh, man. That stung. Hey, listen, Claire. It's nearly summer holidays time, isn't it? It is, yeah. I can't wait. I love it when my kids are off school. Summer is the best time to do a summer holiday. That's an in-betweeners joke. Is it? I think so, yeah. I think that's nil we should go on a summer holiday yeah they do say that summer's the best time to go on a summer holiday are we off anyway nice Claire? absolutely not no we don't have the time this year do we? no and we've got a dug we've got a lot of work to do this summer yeah it's all got a bit busy yeah so we're going nowhere no where haven't we been that you'd like to go?

17:50I would really love to go to Iceland I'd really like to see orcas in the wild and that's a hot spot. There's, I mean, Scotland. You see a lot of them in Scotland as well. I'd just like to pinpoint a place where they are at a certain time of year. That's my dream. Orcas in the wild. That is, oh, I'd love that. I've got a list of places that I want to go. I've never been before. I know one place that you really want to go, you and the boys. Japan. I'm just waiting for the boys to be a couple of years older so they can sort of appreciate. Because you've got no interest in gut. You've said I don't really fancy it.

18:31I would like to go, but I know what yous want to do isn't for me. We want to go and look at loads of video game stuff. So that'll be, I'll let yous do that. That'll be fun. I've got some holiday nightmares. Oh, okay. Not all holidays do go to plan. No. I find that very rarely they do. Well, you put a lot of pressure, don't you? Yeah, you spend a lot of money. Yeah, they are expensive. You look forward to it. And they do look better in the brochure and stuff. Oh, absolutely. And then when you get there, you go, oh, this isn't really what I thought this was. I feel like every holiday we've been on is that.

19:07Yeah. It's like that Carol Pilkington thing, isn't it? When he goes to see the, is it the pyramids? And there's like dirty nappies and stuff. He was like, oh, you don't see that in the brochure. Yeah, that's it. You don't see shitty nappies whizzing about. Have you had any holiday nightmares, Claire? Do you know what? I have. I remember this very well. And also, it's on video. and I think you've seen it. I think you're going to know what I'm talking about. I was about eight, nine and we went to Tenerife and my dad was like, it was these rocks, right? And they were really jaggy rocks and the sea was at the bottom and we had all walked in but it was like on a slope.

19:53It was like that, right? And we had all like made our way down and me and my brother and my mum and my dad because all dads had a camcorder on holiday he was sort of standing up a bit and he was recording us and I was sitting on the rocks and the waves were sort of coming in and out and I was like in my little bathing suit I thought I was all really cute and cool and then out of nowhere this huge wave comes and I'm like lying on these rocks and it just pushes me right up them and you can hear the video camera goes like all shaking because my dad's like coming down and you can just hear me screaming it's horrible and then my mum took a picture it was like a couple of days later and there's just like of my back just no skin oh no skin on my back all these big massive like tears going up my back That's interesting when we went on holiday to Barbados.

20:50Yeah. Didn't I fall in the rocks? You were on the rocks and a big wave came on. Oh, and then I was gone. Yeah. That's right. That's right. Yeah. See the seas trying to get me. Yeah. We've got some holiday nightmares from our listeners. Here's one from David. David says, hello, James and Claire. I have a holiday nightmare that makes me laugh and anxious in equal measure. Me and my pals were off on a stag do to Marbella. And the best man was on top form. He was incredibly organised and sorted everything. We had two days of sun, sea and stellar locked in. If only his organisation for the group extended to his own because he turned up at the airport, opened his passport and saw his four-year-old son's picture looking back at him.

21:33Oh, no. He'd bought his son's passport. To make things worse, he lived miles away from the airport so could only get on a flight the next day. Oh, bless him. His trip was cut in half and he missed out on most of the plans he organised. Oh. Gutted. That's hard. Yeah. That's a hard one to swallow when you're the one that's done all the planning. You've done all the work. It's awful as well being a best man and chasing people up for deposits and trying to find where everyone's available. Yeah. Yeah. Not for you. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it. It's like trying to wrangle up a load of idiot toddlers.

22:11Yeah. But what's the one thing you should do before you leave the house? Check you got your passport. Check the passport. He thought he did. Yeah, but just open it and check. If you're taking it from a pile of passports. Yeah. Come on. We've got another one here from Natasha. Natasha says, hi, James and Claire. A few years ago, me and my friends went skiing in France. I'd never been before. So it was a massive bucket list ticked off. Well, that's what I was hoping. Day one, I'd say genuinely, about 20 minutes after putting on my skis for the first time, I fell over, landed awkwardly on my arm and heard a crack.

22:48I'd love to say I was barrelling down an amazing ski slope, but I was on the way up. I had it confirmed that I had broken my arm, so no skiing for me. The rest of the holiday was spent drinking a few too many beers with my good arm, whilst waiting for my friends to come back from a fun day of skiing. I still haven't been back maybe it's not meant to be do it skiing is great fun I cannot tell you now anybody who watched our vlogs and stuff back in the day we went skiing yeah and that was the first time any of us and it's the only time we've not been back yet we were trying to sort it out and we couldn't make dates work but skiing is great fun one of my favourite favourite things I've ever ever done I've never yeah we neither of us had ever done it before it's quite middle class isn't it It's quite posh, isn't it?

23:38It's a very posh thing to do. But I mean, I think nowadays though, the packages and stuff you can get are a bit... Yeah. And I would say... It is still dear though. If you want to do something fun as a family, that's a bit more interesting than what maybe you'd usually do. I don't know. Flying at the pool. Maybe you usually go skiing, but skiing's great. I loved it. I absolutely loved it. And that became one of my favourite places. Norway, we went. I loved it there. It was so pretty. It was beautiful, wasn't it? Got another one here from Grant. Says, hello, Buckleys. So I took my now ex away to stay in Cyprus.

24:12I paid for everything. And being in our 20s, I wanted to have some nights out in Ironapa. The whole holiday consisted of her saying no to any partying, escapades, escapades, thrills, hijinks or any fun at all. Schemes. I don't want to go on escapades either. She just wanted to chill by the pool for two weeks and be in bed by nine. It got to the point I said jokingly to my friend who was working out there at the time, I'll get that stamped on my ass if she carries on. And he's got a tattoo. It's a tattoo of a bum cheek, I assume, saying, Lauren said no. Was it a wise move or did she deserve it?

25:00what do you mean did she deserve it yeah you've really shown her there yeah and also by the way at the beginning of this message it's his ex so now you've just got her name on you yeah but it's got a story it's got a fun story oh fine and also can I just like really quickly just

25:21destroy Grant's whole argument here because he let slip that his friend was there yeah He was on a holiday with his missus and clearly he just wanted to go out with his pal and she was like, well, no, shouldn't we be sitting at the pool and relaxing? Yeah, but for two weeks every night. Come on. They're in their early 20s. They're in their 20s. I don't know if it was early. I've added early. They're in their 20s. They're young whippersnappers. You didn't do that in your 20s? No, I didn't. No, I'm the... We had two kids in our 20s. Yeah, but I'm the Lauren in this situation. but I wouldn't but you know I wouldn't go I don't know I think Grant was being annoying sorry Grant have you got one to read from Holly I'm going to sit here with my eyes closed for a bit and really listen I really want to listen to Holly's correspondence okay now I never read these but you're you're really struggling so I'm going to read an email okay hi Buckleys love the pod this is from Holly you're welcome two years ago me and my then boyfriend booked a last minute holiday to Spain together for five nights as far as I was aware we were both really excited as this was our first holiday together and it was in two weeks exactly one week after we booked said holiday my boyfriend decided that he didn't want to be with me anymore and dumped me over text what a prick the smart man's way to dump no mess no mess that way is there after all the tears were shed do you want me to read that or do you want to talk just fax do you know that about Phil Collins he faxed his wife saying we're getting a divorce

27:16right anyway she says after all the tears were shed and many questions were asked I said to him what are we going to do about the holiday he offered to buy me out as he still wanted to go but I put my foot down and said no I still wanted to go with a week to digest the news we both ended up going on the holiday even though the day before he told me he really didn't love me anymore God he sounds lovely the funny part was that we chose the random seat allocation on the plane and got sat together moral of the story is don't go on holiday with an ex as it will be the most heartbreaking traumatic few days of your life.

27:56Oh, I thought it was going to go a different way. Thought they were going to get back together. I thought this was like a rom-com. No. They were going to sort of, oh, sit next to you again. No. And then they sort of remind each other what they liked about each other. Oh, so I want to know what happened on the holiday. Yeah. What did you do? Just, apparently it was just heartbreaking and traumatic. You would have had to have stayed in the same hotel room. That's what I was thinking. I was like, surely there was some romance that had happened. I bet they had bonus night for sure. what does that mean after you break up with somebody you have a little bonus night at sex yeah right I don't know I've not broken up with many people Claire I don't know how it works okay we've also got some mad holiday moments sent to us over Instagram just little quick fire holiday holiday mishaps Jacob says his father-in-law was left unable to walk after a water slide nice wonder what happened Laura said crashed a moped J style into a wind chime shop that must have been loud no I don't know if I believe that Shawnee says lost my girlfriend found my wife what does that mean?

29:09on holiday he broke up with his girlfriend and bumped and met who would become his wife wow he's busy Hall says Dappy from Ndubs was our hotel room neighbour rearranging furniture at 5am that's our euphemism yeah that's what I was thinking Sam said woke up on Benidorm Beach with no phone or wallet no dignity or any idea where I was sounds like a good trip yeah we've all done that let's have a little swipe Claire because after this we've got a feature this episode is brought to you by State Farm listening to this podcast instead of doom scrolling smart move another smart move Getting help from one of State Farm's 19 ,000 local agents when you choose to bundle home and auto.

29:56Bundling, just another way to save with the personal price plan. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings, and eligibility vary by state. All right, Jimmy. Okie dokie. Claire, it is time for a feature. Okay. And this week, it's Buckley's Law. Love it.

30:23This is a feature where you send in your ideas for new laws or rules, which we will pass when we are in power. But first, a quick reminder to keep them coming in by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. First up, Claire. Yes. It's Holly. Again? Yeah. We have a why this time. Oh. Holly says, hey, both. Quick Buckley's Law for you guys. Can you please ban pianos in train stations? I think you might be onto something, Holly. They're already one of the worst places in the world without some See You Next Tuesday bashing out the interstellar soundtrack.