James Got Caught Doing This!

0:00And we're live from the living room as Doug eyes up the matchday spread. He's reaching for the Buffalo wing. Perfect. Hang on, what's this? Oh, he's going for a can of Pepsi too. Incredible. What a finish. Sensational combination. Look at the delight on his face. There's no doubt about it. It just tastes better. Match days deserve Pepsi. Food deserves Pepsi. Grab a pack of Pepsi Zero Sugar for today's match. It's poetry in motion. Mornings have a rhythm. You can hear it. Feel it. And at Quaker, we fuel it. With 100 % whole grain oats and a good source of fibre in every bowl, helping you turn that rhythm into your soundtrack for a great day.

0:48Fuel to start whatever's next. Quaker, official sponsor of FIFA World Cup 26. I-O, let's go! I-O, let's go! This episode is brought to you by Tilda Rice, the UK's number one rice brand. Or as the French say, numero uno. Cooking rice in our house used to be a total lottery. Sometimes it was fluffy, if Claire would make it, and other times it was stuck to the pan like gum on a desk. And I was there, scraping it for ages. Nobody wants that, Claire. No, nothing worse than rice that fights back at dinner time. But that's not the case now we've been using Tilda. They've been doing this for over 50 years.

1:27They even mill and test every batch So you get the best grains every time And the ready to heat pouches Are a lifesaver too Two minutes in the microwave Or you can use their boil in the bag range And have dinner sorted in ten Claire, I have a penchant Sorry, French again No, no, what's wrong with me? I'm so classy For the old sticky rice there You do Here's a little thing that I like to do And I don't know what this says about me But I'll have a bowl of sticky rice With just some soy sauce drizzled on it Yeah, no, I do like that as well actually But I like It's a lovely little snack My favourite's either the peri-peri one or the Mexican one.

2:01I like a little bit of spice. I know, you're always going on about it, Claire. Plus, you know there's plenty of flavours to choose from as well. They've got all the classics. Pure basmati, pilau, golden vegetable, coconut. In fact, they've got over 25 different pre-steamed rice pouches to choose from. You name it, Tilda's got the goods. And there's no artificial colours, flavours or preservatives either. Just really tasty rice. Doesn't matter if it's an epic curry night or just a quick lunch. Tilda makes it easy to elevate your plate. There was that time when your mum came down in the morning and he got a big old...

2:37She was wearing a nightdress or whatever. I'll be honest, in Cosmo's defence, that was inappropriate. We were doing things that married people sometimes do. Sure. And you maybe had a bit of a complaint that perhaps you wasn't completely fulfilled. You said we finished 3-1. And I said, don't hate the player. The game was, we all go round and we have to guess one of the descriptive words on the wine. And if it's on there, you get a point. And I would just be like looking at the ceiling going, don't give a f***. They were all having a raucous time.

3:14Should we do this? Yes. Let's do it. And you look beautiful, by the way. Hello and welcome to the Buckleys. You don't. What's going on? So this is two weeks in a row. You have just lost the will to get dressed. No, because I... What's happened? No, right. Last week I was feeling a bit tired. Yeah. Hence the episode. Yeah. And I wore these jogging bottoms, the same jogging bottoms. I know. And I just quite liked wearing jogging bottoms. That's it. Yeah. You've crossed over. Yeah.

3:50and by the way can I say I was burping there and then you sneezed this is the worst podcast ever it's the worst start to an episode that's for sure no but me and Harrison we're watching the Rams game NFL started up again yeah we're watching the Rams game this evening that's you and Harrison's thing we have to because it's on like they kick off at like midnight usually yeah so me and Harrison watch it the next day yeah However, I do know the fucking score already. Oh, do you? I keep getting... The place I bought this shirt from sends me an email after every game. Right, well, you need to unsubscribe.

4:25I've done that now. Right, okay. Okay. It's the store, the Rams store. You've messed up your... Oh, we can see your wee vest. You've got a vest on. Oh, you're so cute. I'm just going to do a chilly back. Oh. But the Rams store that I bought this shirt from... You've got a bit red. Yeah, I've got a bit red. That never happens to you. I've got to be embarrassed. It's just the best. It's all right. I bought me and Harrison. All the school kids are wearing them. I bought me and Harrison a jersey each so we can wear them when we watch the game. Yeah. So now I get an email after every game because we don't watch it live because it's on too late for UK time.

5:00Yeah, that's terrible. The email says, to celebrate the Rams win, why don't you buy more stuff? I'm like, oh, you prick. Yeah. The same thing happened to me as well when Michael Bisping. I think that's his name he's a UFC an ex-UFC fighter oh right okay he's the first English fighter to win a belt right right and it was such he was fighting for a belt again it's on over the night I paid for it I bought it you and the kids were away for the weekend right and I didn't want to like I'm not fucking watching stuff at one o 'clock in the morning like I'm just not so I was going to watch it first thing got in the car I remember this I thought do you know what even though it's you know only nine o 'clock or whatever I'm on my own.

5:42I'm a bachelor. You went to get some snacks, didn't you? I jumped in the car to pop to the garage to get some Pringles and things like that so I could watch this fight and find out how it went. Got in the car and because I've usually always got talk sport on in the car, turned the key, radio came on, and Michael's Bisping became the first UFC champion last night. And I was like, oh, no. I was like, what? That's so funny. And we were up in Scotland. It was such a perfect storm. There was a big fight on. The wife and the kids were away. I could eat Pringles at nine o 'clock in the morning and not have you going, what are you eating that for this time?

6:23But also you phoned me. I phoned you. You phoned me straight away. And I was like, what do you want me to do? I had such a great weekend planned. It was ruined instantly. Anyway, have I said the intro yet? No, you haven't, no. Hello and welcome to The Buckleys, It's the podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit and invite you into our lives. Before we do get into it, I just want to remind you that you can get in touch with your stories and questions. I've had a couple of beers, Claire. I'm not drunk, but I wouldn't drive or anything. Before we get into it, we just want to remind you that you can get in touch with us with stories and questions and all that sort of stuff by emailing thebuckleysatplatformmedia.uk.

7:08or you can message us at the Buckley's Pod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app you like to use and if you do enjoy the show why not go ahead and leave us a review after? Can I tell you something? I might have to stop saying that. No, you need to stop trying to do it fast. You don't have that in your... Listen, I get that. I know, I stumble over the words and everything. I find it really difficult to read. I do find reading... I've always struggled with reading. Yeah. But this is all the importance stuff that you need to tell people.

7:39So take your thing. But it's also really boring. Okay. People just want to get into it. But I do need to say, if you do like the show, leave a review. Okay. Hey, Claire. Yes? How are you, mate? I'm alright. Have you recovered? No. Have you recovered from your little faux pas this morning? No. I had another embarrassing moment. I didn't fall. It wasn't a fall. No one got injured? No. Egos were bruised. sure i didn't fall but oh man i got caught today i had a proper and i saw it i saw it all happen just if anything it was your fault okay let me set the scene we got off the train we're walking through a very busy train station in london we were heading towards the tube station we were just about to get to the stairs yeah and from the train right to the stairs james was right behind me right at the side just behind we were having a conversation the whole time he was there yeah then suddenly he wasn't i got sort of it's busy there's bodies i got sort of someone wedged themselves in between me and you i thought said someone was still james and i turned around and I didn't properly turn around, but I did that thing just as we were walking down the stairs.

8:58Talking over your shoulder. Yeah. And I went, I need a pee so bad. And it was just some guy. And I was like, oh, and then you were right there and you started laughing and you, and then he did not even acknowledge what I did. Didn't break his stride, just carried on going. Just carried on. James just walked up and went, oh, no, that was embarrassing. sorry mate and I was so enthusiastic about it because I was like no there was no there was I was loud it was with confidence yeah yeah I was like I need to pee so bad and he was right and I was like oh I'm sorry James was just right there and I was like why why does this happen to me well you'll be thinking about that just as you're dropping off to bed I know I know I know anyway I did need to pee but I've had to pee and I'm ready to go yeah have you done your pre-podcast shit you need to stop doing that and do you know the only reason I know you say that now when I'm not in this room is because we did it on the vlog a few weeks ago yeah stop telling people I do that what you said to me no I didn't you said I like to do a big dump before the podcast I don't do big dumps it's like a sort of what's it what's that thing Cosmo's doing at the moment which is fucking annoying yeah Cosmos started what's it called territory marking marking his territory fucking up like cocks his leg up so he's one year he just turned one and he's been he's getting a bit frisky he's getting a bit like well yeah with you not me yeah but he he's obviously been house trained since he was little he was always really good at going out in the past couple of weeks he started like just like sort of wandering in the living room and he'll cock his leg and do a little pee up against the table like it's not a little spray one not like a proper piss no no and I'm always like I don't know and then we looked it up you're not allowed to sort of make a big deal out of it so I don't know what you're supposed to do apparently he's just marking his territory but my mum and dad were done the other weekend there when we went to Glasgow and they were looking after the boys and the dog and Cosmo does like my mum he's a bit humpy around my mum yeah and he has been for ages He gets a bit excited with my mum.

11:22Yeah, because there was that time when your mum came down in the morning. Your mum and dad were down and he got a big old stiffy. It's not stiffy. When your mum walked in. That's just timing. She was wearing a nightdress or whatever. I'll be honest, in Cosmo's defence, that was inappropriate to come into the kitchen with. So I said to him, come on, mate, let's go out in the garden. I went, let's go out in the garden and walk this off. but the other weekend my mum texted me saying he just he didn't pee on her but he cocked his leg at her and she was like whoa as if he was about to so I don't know I don't know what's going on I don't know what you do about that because he is trained yeah he does let us know when he wants to go for a piss and stuff yeah and it is his territory he must know that we don't have another dog no I don't know he's a weird little guy sometimes yes isn't he he's a nice little fella he is I love him so much Can I tell you what I've been up to this week, Claire?

12:19Sure. YouTube videos. I've been watching YouTube videos. Okay. It's been exciting. No, I was watching a YouTube video and I was talking to Harrison about this. Me and Harrison got into a big discussion about this. I think you overheard a bit of it, but you couldn't be asked. And I was like, well, hang on a minute. You and Harrison do. And I was talking to Harrison. I was like, she doesn't appreciate a good conversation. No, you. She doesn't know a good conversation. So I was like. Who is she? And I was going. And I was going to. And I was going to Arizona, I'm going to bring this up on the podcast, this conversation that we've just had, and I'm going to make mum have it with me.

12:55Go on then, I'll fucking have it. I'm sure you will. I was watching a YouTube video, it was like a 20 minute long YouTube video about the invention of the parachute. Oh, I do remember that. Right, but I was thinking... This is when me and Jude just disappear. Is there a lot of engineering gone into that? You just need a great big sheet. Like a great big massive sheet. But it took them so long to realise. Like, I feel like that's intuitive. Well, that's not because you know it. That's what was my argument. No, this is what me and Harrison were talking about. Because then we were going, is it just now in hindsight?

13:30Yes. That obviously just makes sense, but it makes such clear sense. Whereas I am of the belief where you don't need someone to show you that. If you've got a big enough sheet that's strapped to you well enough, you will float. It will stop. But there will be resistance. My question would be why? Who first thought of, if I jump from somewhere really high, but I've got a huge big sheet, I might be all right? No, but it was after the invention of the plane. Right. So once planes... Oh, so like an army thing? So once planes started becoming a thing, it was a safety thing so that you could abandon your plane.

14:07Oh, okay, right, right, right, right. Now, obviously, historically, there's been many attempts at the parachute, but it was only, I think, well, I'm going from a YouTube video source. Okay. But it was since the invention of the plane where they were like, we need to really... The famous they. We really need to nail this parachute thing down there because we've been faffing about. I think that's what they said. Enough faffing now. But then I said to Harrison, have you seen the guy who tried to do the thing from the Eiffel Tower? He was like, yeah, I've seen that. I've seen that. So it was this bloke that felt that he didn't finally invented the parachute and it was going to absolutely work.

14:43and to display and show this new parachute invention, he jumps off the Eiffel Tower. No. I'm assuming the way you said that, it didn't end well. It didn't work. He just plopped. When was that? And there's footage of it. You know those sort of pathway... Oh, I think I've seen that. Old footage of like, sort of, and it looks like they filmed it like that and stuff. There's footage of this geezer going, I've invented a parachute. I'm so confident that it'll work. I'm going to jump off the Eiffel Tower. Just fucking in front of everyone. Just plops down. He looked like someone cosplaying as like Megatron from the Power Rangers or something.

15:30It was all sort of like square and round. Didn't look like I would have gone to him, mate. Like that's not a Power Rangers. That's not going to work at all. And he just flopped. Okay But yeah I just thought I thought because you walked away While me and Harrison were having such a riveting conversation I would expose you to it again I do actually think I saw that footage Knew that you Knew that you spoke about that Yeah I think I have seen that It's quite a famous story Look at it Oh yeah That's a really sad picture knowing what happened I know but that doesn't look like a parachute man Yeah but not to you Not to your modern eyes I know, but it looks more like one of those sort of glider things that Red Bull sponsor people to do.

16:18When somebody is so confident in something, you do just sort of go, all right, well, he must know what he's doing. If you look at that picture of him standing there with the quote-unquote parachute, right, his moustache is going to give him more wind resistance than... That's a good stache, isn't it? That is a good stache. But it just annoyed me. I was just like, I genuinely don't think I'd need to see the parachute without intuitively thinking, what would I need if I wanted to slow my ascent down if I was falling from something? Okay. That's not it. No. Well, clearly. Shall I start moaning?

17:05Please. Just a quick one for you this week. I just want to touch back touch base arc back hark back harp back go back I just want to I was hoping you'd jump in at some point there and let me know none of what you said was right I just wanted to harp back to last week's episode where we were talking about the plane the plane stuff and I coming back and over the past week I've remembered a lot more stuff that annoyed me about that airport first of all I'm done with people just suddenly stopping dead oh mate in front of you don't even good lord in the heavens above you're walking behind someone and they suddenly wait until they're in the most narrow corridor to think oh I'm going to take my jacket off Yeah, just stop, dead.

18:06Which is exactly what happened. That did happen. And also the people who are texting on their phone and just walking so slow. That happened this morning. They were looking at their phone and texting, walking downstairs. Oh, move! In the middle. Why is it not your, like, it's my natural instinct to go, oh, I'm going to take my jacket off, I'll look around and I'll move off to the side. There's other people. And I'll stay out of people's way. Yeah. Like, the lack of awareness. Oh, yeah. Fucking, honestly, Claire. I'm with you, mate. Boils my piss. Like, I tell my kids not to do that. I know. Like, I go, get out of fucking way.

18:44There's people moving. Yep. You fucking stupid prick. Well. You stupid little arsehole. You will amount to nothing. Sometimes I like to say that to the kids just to motivate them. Right, okay. Okay. Okay, you mean nothing to me. Yeah. You've done nothing. Yeah, okay. And people ask why your kids are so well behaved. They don't know what happens behind closed doors. No, if you ever spoke to my children like that, I'd absolutely... Even if I did, they wouldn't fucking listen to me.

19:19I'd say something like that to them and they'd look up and go, what? Claire, you were angry. You were angry with me because I paid... No! Oh. Because, you know, my hack, my ride share hack, where you get to travel private on a plane if you spread the cost with a load of other people. Yeah. Well, I actually paid an extra£2 for me and you each. Yes. This was annoying. For some extra leg room. Which he was so happy about. He told me. The day before we left, he was like, oh, I've actually upgraded us on an easy jet flight, by the way, to have extra legroom. I was like, okay, all right, fine. Right, and I will...

20:02Huge problems arise. I will agree with you, right? The extra legroom seats are the ones that are by the emergency exits, which is fine. I think I'd be very capable. I think I'd be very clinical and because I was even talking to you, wasn't I? I was going, you need to reach your hand up there. Yeah, and I was going, don't touch it. I was going, well, I need to touch it to show you... He touched it when he was showing me and I was going, don't touch it. And then you went in the halfway. I wasn't touching you. I was just showing you. I didn't get in the halfway with you, Claire. I just felt like that you needed a visual representation.

20:35I can see the fucking sign that you were reading. Pull this. I know, but I felt like that song was actually quite ambiguous. And if the shit hits the fan, you need to be swift and calm and know exactly what you're doing. And that is what I would be. I'd be like a fucking robot. I'd just be like, plane's gone down. Bosh, throw the thing out. The balloon thing comes off. Get your weird parachute, French parachute thing. yeah but why was there extra leg room there wasn't actually extra leg room turns out it's a scam you get the extra leg room because you're in the emergency exit aisle and you're not allowed to put your bag under the seat in front you're not allowed to have anything under you you're not allowed to have your jacket or your bag and i think that's why they then say well there's extra leg room there yeah there's not and i and she took my bag away which is fine that's the rule but i I didn't know that.

21:26No, you were annoyed. I left my little fruit gums in my bag. I left my headphones in my bag. Yeah. And we were by the window. Yeah, and I'm not going to make people get up. But you did try and grab some stuff as well. Yeah. I had my phone. So you are. You're just left there with a pile of stuff. Yeah. Like loose stuff that would be great in a bag. You could keep it all together and it won't fall off. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And there's no arm rest. at the edge of the emergency exit? There definitely is. No, there isn't. Is there not? No, because what did I say to you? I was so knackered and I was like, oh, I'm going to just like snuggle in and go.

22:07There was no armrest. It was well annoying. And you're not allowed to not listen to the little speech. Oh, yeah. You've got to pay attention. Someone got told off near us. Twice. The way they ran the way back. If you're in that emergency exit row, you have to listen to them because they're like, They come up to you and they say, are you okay with this? Because we're going to need your help. And I said, I'm your man. I'm your guy. Yeah, but don't do that again. That was annoying. Knowing me and you, though, I bet we would have fucked up for everyone. Because I feel like we would have tried to both get out at the same time.

22:43We would have got jabbed at the emergency.

22:49We would have wedged ourselves both in. Let me out! Yeah, that would have been you. Ladies first, Claire. No, not ladies first. It's 2025. Claire? Yes. You ready for some more moans? And they're not me. It's not me moaning this time. Oh, who is it now? I'm not. It's the dear listener. See if it's fucking Gary again moaning. This guy does my nothing. Oh, no, this is embarrassing because Gary's got inside. Oh, for God's sake. The subject of his message is smellier than before. He says, I have come to the realisation that I am much like James and love a good fucking moan. So here's my weekly moan.

23:35I recently watched a TV advert for a brand of fabric softener. And the company has invented a new product to make it ten times smellier than the original product. I know exactly where he's going with this. and I'm just, do you know what? I'm going to read the rest of this and it is word for word exactly what I would say. First of all, he says, who decided on the scale of 10 times smellier? Yeah, what's the measurements there? Oh, this is so huge. Was it three smells before and now it's 30 smells? How do you measure that? How can you advertise? How can you sit there with a straight face and say, this is 10 times smellier?

24:13Oh, so smellier is a bad word for your clean washing. Yeah, it is a bit. I shouldn't have said all that I should have just read Gary's email Is there a device that measures it Or is Gary we gotta be mates Is there a device that measures it Or is it just a guy called Dave That says yeah that's about 10 times smellier than the original Fuck it That just annoyed me last night And my wife's sick of me moaning about it Thanks for letting me get it off my chest I feel much better now Cheers from Gary from the Emerald Isle. Gary. I knew I didn't like Gary. It's just you. Gary, we got a... Do you want to be a writer for the podcast?

24:58Me and you could kick around some ideas, man. Yeah. We could get some great material. Yeah. That's fucking life-changing stuff. Absolutely brilliant. Yep, that is fucking annoying. Leon is here in email form and says, piss and vinegar. Oh, no. Oh, this is a moan about me. All right, hang on, I'm not sure. Do you want me to read it? Yeah, go on then. All right, Leon, me and you, man. So I've gone from making a best friend to making an enemy. Well, if you let me have my moment, I think me and Leon might be pals. All right. Roughly over a month ago, I started listening to the podcast. Thank you, Leon.

25:36Since then, I've gone back through older episodes and listened. In one episode, James says he always has vinegar on his fish and chips. sorry James but unless you apply your vinegar at home and not at the chip shop then you've never had vinegar on your fish and chips I know what he's going to say you've actually been having a non-brewed condiment on your fish and chips yeah no me and you aren't friends you'll find that no I'm going to be honest I've got respect this is more I respect the game I respect the game he says Leon's just a player I'm a player don't hate the player Do you want me to get into that?

26:19No, because it makes me seem bad No, it makes you sound weird Yeah, alright You said that the other night Yeah, we were doing things that married people sometimes do Sure And you maybe had a bit of a complaint that perhaps you wasn't completely fulfilled No, that's not what it was I feel like there was something like that No, we were talking afterwards Right And I said something Oh, that's right You said it was a bit unfair You said we finished 3-1 And I said Don't hate the player

26:55What? What's wrong with that? That's true That's what people want to hear And I didn't complain That's juicy sex goss No, you brought it up You were like, oh that was a good one And I went, well, for you And then you said, what do you mean? And I said, well, if we're counting it was 3-1 and you said getting up by the way with your little bum on show you went don't hate the game babe no wait what did you say I said don't hate the player oh that's it yeah don't hate the player hate the game and I don't know what that means and you then turned around and went I don't know what that means by the way Leon said you'll find that you have never seen the label vinegar on any bottle in a chip shop considering you too have the knowledge of random chip facts I'm slightly shocked and disappointed you didn't know this I appreciate it is a bit pointless writing in months after you've said it, but this is a fact I like to annoyingly bring up any time vinegar is mentioned in a chip shop.

27:51Leon, I do like random shit facts, and I appreciate you getting in touch with us. I don't feel attacked. I've got respect for you, mate. And I am going to look into this more. So we love sarsens. Yes, that's my vinegar. That's like everyone's vinegar, isn't it? That's my vinegar. Sarsens. That's like the Heinz ketchup of red sauce. How many Sarsen's vinegar Do we have in that long cupboard Claire Bulk buys Sarsen's vinegar I am a vinegar I need vinegar on everything Everything I cannot eat There's very little meals I can eat without vinegar I'm talking rice Beans I'm going to say now why I'm glad Leon's brought this to my attention Did you not know this?

28:35I'm going to be disappointed Is Sarsen's not classed as vinegar then? No Sarsen's is It's the chip shop vinegar Oh, okay. I wouldn't use that. However. But I do like onion juice. Oh, no. The white sort of vinegar. No. Is it just pickle juice from the onions? I think so, yeah. I like that on my chips. No. Oh, my God. I'm getting a chippy tonight. Yeah, I ain't getting on that. Also. What's your chippy order? You know what my chippy order is. Oh, yeah. I feel like. It's not a real chippy order. Like my curry order where I have chips with my curry. No, this is worse. This is worse. Listen, I love a fish and chips.