In short
The Buckleys riff on everyday annoyances during their commute, pet/dog bonding (Bond With Your Dog Day), and pointless-but-fun debates. They also cover animal news, listener dog-owner advice drama, and “Buckley’s Law” proposals (including a proposed curfew for over-75s and banning phones at live music).
Guests
No guests. The episode is hosted by James and Claire Buckley.
Key claims
- People should mind their business in public (especially about dogs/kids).
- Dogs can “understand” owners; talking to pets is framed like therapy.
- Fish-meat debate: fish are animals, so fish is meat (presented as an intentionally derail-the-table argument).
- Overheating dogs shouldn’t get water immediately; let them regulate first.
Notable examples
- A loud, shirt-and-jeans man on the train platform using a laptop/phone and staring.
- “African parrots” at Lincolnshire Wildlife Centre swearing in a group.
- Listener Scarlett: recall is bad; other owners give unwanted advice.
- Listener Mark: proposes over-75 road curfew; John: bans phones at live events.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VODaily Life and Annoyances
0:45 to 2:44
The hosts discuss daily life irritations and personal anecdotes.
“He said, this beer's not good enough, get me another one right now.”
Observations on Public Behavior
2:44 to 5:29
A humorous recounting of a stranger's odd behavior on a train platform.
“This is a podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit and invite you into our lives.”
Inventions and Innovations
5:29 to 9:51
The hosts brainstorm and discuss potential inventions.
“When I used to drive around with Mark all the time and I was in his car and I said to him, do you know what would be really good?”
Bond With Your Dog Day
9:51 to 14:01
The hosts reflect on the significance of bonding with dogs and the joy they bring.
“Why would somebody send in their great ideas to you?”
The Joys of Pet Ownership
14:01 to 14:40
Discusses how pets can enhance mental well-being and happiness.
“Studies have shown that spending time with pets can significantly improve our happiness, mental well-being and encourage owners to appreciate the simple joys of life.”
Talking to Pets: A Therapeutic Experience
14:41 to 16:46
Explores the idea of talking to pets as a form of therapy and companionship.
“I look at him and I go, you are the only fucking person that actually likes me in this house, mate.”
Comparison of Personalities: Pets and Owners
16:47 to 19:10
Humorously compares the personalities of hosts to different animals.
“yeah oh I don't like cats well you have the attributes of the cat there right okay I see what you're saying yeah sort of cold like we'll let you stroke them if they're really in the mood.”
The Animal Classification Debate
19:11 to 20:40
Engages in a light-hearted debate over whether fish qualify as animals.
“it's one of my favourite animals it's one of my favourite animals the clownfish I'd love a saltwater do you know what people I hate?”
Listener Email: Fish and Meat Debate
20:41 to 24:14
Reads a listener's email discussing the classification of fish as meat.
“We've got, yeah, we do have a listener email on this topic.”
Funny Animal News Stories
24:15 to 27:36
Shares humorous and quirky animal-related news stories.
“that's what's great about it it will carry on the debate will carry on what's your opinion?”
Show all 22 chapters
Listener Email: Dog Owner Struggles
27:46 to 28:00
Discusses a listener's frustrations with unsolicited advice as a dog owner.
“And we've got some listener emails, Claire.”
Dog Ownership Challenges
28:00 to 28:54
Explore the challenges and frustrations of dog ownership, including unsolicited advice from others.
“Start writing an email to us straight after something that's happened here.”
Misunderstandings About Dog Care
28:54 to 30:01
Discuss an incident involving dog care and the misconceptions surrounding it.
Parenting Insights
30:01 to 31:36
Gain insights into parenting challenges, comparing experiences with different children.
“People poking their nose into your business.”
Sleep Techniques for Babies
31:36 to 32:50
Learn about effective techniques to help babies fall asleep.
“one baby will want something different than the other one and you need to work out how you guys operate and that's all you can do.”
Listener Stories and Community Interaction
32:50 to 34:29
Engage with listener stories about unique experiences and local businesses.
“I did it to Blake and Kerry's baby when we were in Australia.”
Introducing Buckley's Law
34:29 to 36:36
Introduction to a fun segment where listeners can propose humorous laws.
“Richard, by the way, has found the greatest named dog groomers ever.”
Controversial Curfew Proposal
36:36 to 42:01
Discuss a listener's controversial proposal for a curfew for the elderly and share opinions.
“I was about to say we got one from Claire.”
Train Station Chaos
42:01 to 43:30
Experience the frustrations of navigating a busy train station filled with impatient travelers.
Live Event Etiquette
43:31 to 44:39
Discuss the annoyance of mobile phone usage during live events and concerts.
“if it was quiet I'd be like yeah right okay right so you just do that but the thing was having a tantrum it caused a thing It caused a sort of...”
Film Watching Frustrations
44:40 to 46:37
Explore the challenges of watching films with someone who asks too many questions.
“Ian says, hi, guys, just dropping you a Buckley's Law to think about passing when you're both in charge.”
Film Preferences and Disagreements
46:38 to 51:06
Delve into differing film tastes and the impact on shared viewing experiences.
“When you write something, when you go, and they go, can you have this character explain everything that's going on with words so that when they're not looking at the screen they can just hear what's going on right now.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:02Clair Buckley:Turn it up! Storm has zero sugar and 200mg of caffeine, so you can turn that workout up a notch. Good energy in, good energy out. Energy for life. I do, I sit there and I talk to the dog. The area you're getting into is that you're starting to wait for an answer back. Is this, can you just do that? Can you just buy a f***ing Amyweg? That can't be right. And it is you. We are talking about you. Sort yourself out. You're in public. We are quite used to parrot swearing, but we've never had five saying f*** off at the same time. I do think vegetarians do just go, I'm just fruit or veg, baby.
0:48James just had a little diva tantrum.
0:49Clair Buckley:I didn't have a diva tantrum. I didn't have a diva tantrum. He said, this beer's not good enough, get me another one right now. That's not what happened at all. That's not what happened. and you know that's not what happens. And you made somebody go back. You didn't make anyone do anything. You made Alex go back. No, it's because we've got such a great team. Look up, I think he's been crying. No, it's because we've got such a great team. All I said was, oh, beer's a bit warm. Yeah. Jumped up. Can we get you another one? I was going, no, no, no, it's fine, it's fine. I'll still drink it, don't worry.
1:17Clair Buckley:But because we've got people that are on it here, I've now got a nice cold beer. Yeah. The beer that I opened has gone back in the fridge. I'll get to that. Okay. When we record the next episode. but yeah carry on and I was going no leave it actually leave it because because I did they did go throw your weight around a little bit I made a little face I didn't really because they went no you said this beer's warm I said oh beer's a bit warm do you want us to get get you another one look at how changing how he talks do you want us to get you another one oh sorry the beer's a bit warm what I should have said was no it's fine straight away yeah you should have but I went they went do you want us to get you another one and I went no it's fine and it was just that little pause where my brain should have been quicker get your ass out there now before I fire you because my brain works in real time I don't have sort of just conceptual thoughts everything in my brain is a conversation so in my brain it was like I do want another one I do want a colder one but I don't want to send someone because that looks bad but you did because I thought all that in that time it was like right we'll get you in a hole I was like oh okay anyway You happy?
2:26Clair Buckley:I am happy. You're right, yeah. Like I am happy. Beer cold enough. Beer's well cold now and it's the unfilled as well. Is it a bit too cold? It's a bit too chilly. I thought so. It's great.
2:38Clair Buckley:Shall we do this? Sure. Hello. Welcome to the Buckleys. This is a podcast. Fact. That's a different one, isn't it? That's the other one I do. This is a podcast where we sit down, have a chat, moan a bit and invite you into our lives. Before we do get into it, I just want to remind you that you can get in touch with your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. Don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you do enjoy the show, give us a little good review with five stars and all that stuff.
3:14Clair Buckley:That'd be great. Claire, how are you? I'm all right. Just all right? Yeah. On a scale of one to ten, where are you sitting? Where are you sitting right now? One being not good, ten being really great. Six. Right. That's a podcast answer. I know that for a fact. That's a showbiz answer. What's your real, where are you really sitting? Five. That's still a lie. No, I'm all right. I'm fine. But, like, well, I don't feel too well. but I'm alright we nearly missed the train today didn't we I was a bit late I was running a bit late today yeah erm you're so annoying why am I annoying you really are I'm asking how you are I'm asking how you feel I'm fine we're all interested I'm interested our listeners are interested I've got a little bit of a sore belly but I'm fine yes and I would be better if I didn't have to come and do this with you yeah but you have to I have to erm anything annoy you erm There was that bloke.
4:23Clair Buckley:I mean, I don't even know how we begin to start. Oh, God. There was a lot. Listen, I feel like we do the same thing all the time. We do, we do. But people are so fucking annoying. We are just like, it is just so easy to irritate me in public. He, he, James. There was a big list of stuff going on. He was irritating. He was ridiculous. It was a bloke on the platform. It's not the hottest day ever. No, it's not. And he wasn't wearing a coat. All he was wearing was a white dress shirt, and there was definitely no vest underneath. No, I can see his nipples. Tight blue jeans, brown pointy shoes. Yeah, you're building up a picture here.
5:05Clair Buckley:One bag slung over one shoulder while he was holding the phone having a loud conversation. Really loud. That is just basic. Really loud. In the other hand, he was holding a laptop open. open the laptop was open on a train platform i was like we get it you're very important the screen of the laptop and just having this conversation about something or another and um and then just kept was while he was having the conversation and this is the reason why i noticed the guy was because he was just staring at us while he was talking on the phone it was really intense and really weird and I said to you that is well annoying isn't it like that would be a classic thing to bring up on the podcasts like we always something happens to us on the way that annoys us I was going I don't even know where to start with that one he was a lot he was a lot and I think if he listens to this he's going to know it's him and it is you we are talking about you there was just loads of little things about him sort yourself out you're in public I know that people don't care I wanted to put that laptop out of his hands right onto the tracks yeah and you could have done oh do you know what I was thinking about on the way in today have you ever had an invention have you ever thought of an invention and then realised it's already invented yeah I've come up with an invention that must already exist because it's really good go on first of all let me tell you a little history about my inventions you know what do you mean your inventions no no no right what have you invented stop pointing your fucking finger at me I will get him in to back me up on this blobhead, Mark, right?
6:47Clair Buckley:Right. When I used to drive around with Mark all the time and I was in his car and I said to him, do you know what would be really good? If you could get something that just clips on to the vents of your car that you can put your phone on. And he went, fucking hell, Buckley, that's a well good. I'm going back years, by the way. I'm going back years and years and years. Oh, yeah, because those have been out for years. I know, but I came up with that. Okay. I invented that. Okay. That's a fact. I invented that. But there's probably loads of people who thought about it, and there's the person who did it.
7:23I know. That's different.
7:24Clair Buckley:They're the people that count. And don't get me wrong, if I met the bloke that did it, I'd shake his hand. I wouldn't go after him. Under what circumstances could you go after him? I wouldn't go, oh, I thought of that. Right, okay. And then you'd go, yeah, well, I thought of it too, and you didn't do anything about it. I'd go, you're absolutely right. Right. You are right. I'm not going to have a go at you. Okay. I'm going to go and be angry with myself for a little while. Fine. Because I should have patterned it, copyrighted it, got it out to the masses. Yep. Here's another one for you. Similar vein.
7:55Clair Buckley:Exact similar vein. You know the Boris bikes? What do they call it? I don't know what they're called these days. I've never been on one. I've never used one. I have no idea what you're talking about. The bikes that you use in London. Oh, like the e-bike things? Yeah, right. Where you can get into it with your phone. It's like an app. I was wondering whether it'd be quicker for us to maybe get those. I mean, we're never going to do it. We're not bike people, are we? But I was like, I wonder if it's quicker to just get out. I'd rather fucking crawl. Get out of the train station and jump on one of those bikes and get to the studio.
8:30I wouldn't look good on a bike.
8:31Clair Buckley:And then I was thinking I'd get lost. Not that I'd get lost, but I'd probably take... I only see London as a tube map. I'd head to another tube station instead of just maybe going I'd be roughly in the direction that I want to go and then I was like well I'd need my phone I'd have to get maps on my phone and use my phone I was like I wonder if there's a thing that's nice and small and discreet that you can carry about your person that just clips onto the bike pop your phone on I know there are ones you can get ones that like have a grip and stuff and you have to twist them I'm thinking of something that's super simple that like you can put in your breast pocket.
9:18Clair Buckley:I'm just waiting for you to see if you'd laugh at the word breast. No, I'm not laughing at it. And then you just whip it out, pop it on the Oris bike, pop your phone and you know exactly where you're going. Is there something like that? James. Is the technology there? Sure. There are ways you can mount your phone to a bike. You're nodding. No, but I'm just saying, I thought of that and I was like, oh, it probably already exists already. Right, well, it does. I might spend the next week or so coming up with inventions. Maybe this might be a new regular feature. In fact, get your inventions to me if you've got something.
9:54Why would somebody send in their great ideas to you?
9:57Clair Buckley:Because, right, and people always freak out about this. They're like, oh, if I came up with a really good invention, I would talk about it right now because that's sort of, there's some sort of thing legally where you are, you can prove that you came up, look, this is, you went to the patent office the day after I brought it out on a podcast. Right. And you can go, I've got you. Well, listen, you're not going to fucking invent anything. I am. I'm going to invent something one day that's going to change the world. I'm telling you now. I'm just like the type of person I am how irritated I get and how my whole life is I live for comfortability is that a word?
10:45Clair Buckley:I just I want to be dry, warm and fed and comfortable at all times and sometimes you've got to leave the house and things like that So I find things that just need a little something, a little something that you go, oh, if I had this on the train, it would just make the trip so much better. And I'm going to come up with something one day that is going to really fucking, is going to bring everyone together, man. I've just thought of something. I've just thought of an invention. Go on. Is there something that goes over somebody's mouth that just sticks really hard? You're so boring. I knew you were going to say that.
11:25Clair Buckley:I knew exactly what you were going to say before you said it? She's going to say, oh, I wonder if I can get, if there's an invention that can get James to shut up. I knew you were going to say that.
11:41Clair Buckley:What are we doing? Do you know what day it is today, Claire? You know we love a national something or another day. Yeah, go on. It is Bond With Your Dog Day. The 14th of May is a national day which invites dog owners to celebrate the connection between you and your furry companion. I'm going to be honest, if you've got a dog, right, and every day isn't Bond with your dog day, what the fuck are you doing? Do you think there's people with dogs that go, right, today's the day, Rex, me and you. I'm going to finally get to know about you. We're just sort of dog and owner these days. We live in the same space, but we don't really bond or get on anymore.
12:24Clair Buckley:It's not like in the early days. We've drifted apart. You had a lot less time for Paisley than you do for Cosmo. Yeah, well, Paisley was your dog. Cosmo's mine. Cosmo's brilliant. Cosmo's so easy. And you do. You can talk to him. And you agreed with me. Oh, he understands certain stuff. Listen, we loved Paisley. She was great. She was a brilliant dog. She was a great family dog. She was probably a better family dog than Cosmo. Yeah, she was. Because he's an aggressive little bastard. No, he just loves a bit rough. It's aggressive. But you can talk to him. And I said that to you the other day. Prime example.
13:05Clair Buckley:We were in the living room. He was having his little chew, which gets him quite thirsty. I don't know what they put in those things, but he's always like, and he was like panting a little bit after having this chew. And I went, do you want a drink? And he looked up at me and he started walking towards the door. I opened the door, let him in the kitchen. He had a drink. I went, right, come on, come back and sit back down. He came back. He understands you. He knows what you're saying. Yeah. Paisley didn't. No, she didn't. She just looked at you. Anyway, what is this day? But yes, no, the 14th of May is a national day which invites dog owners to celebrate the connection between you and your furry companion.
13:44Clair Buckley:This day isn't just about fun. It's about recognising the impact dogs have on our lives. Yeah. That's what these days are, isn't they? You can't have anything that's just about fun, can you? These days are not just about fun. You've got to sit there and... There's a message to be received. Studies have shown that spending time with pets can significantly improve our happiness, mental well-being and encourage owners to appreciate the simple joys of life. I agree. Absolutely. Especially dogs. Yeah. Especially dogs. I don't want to slag off any other animal because you get... If they come after you, if you slag off an animal.
14:22Clair Buckley:All animals are great. Even fish. I'd love a fish tank. I've said that to you for years and you've gone now. Not getting a fish tank. It's the tackiest fucking thing you've ever heard. I do love a fish tank. Absolutely not. I'm never going to be a Bond villain if I can't get a fish tank. No, that's fine. But there are lots of days where I feel like that guy, Cosmo, I look at him and I go, you are the only fucking person that actually likes me in this house, mate. Not a person. Oh, yeah, he's not a person, is he?
14:51What are you? Oh, no. insight into being me.
14:58Clair Buckley:Not a person. I think I'd be sectioned if you, because you know like you go out, you leave the house and you go out and I'll spend the afternoon with the dog or whatever. I do. I sit there and I talk to the dog. I talk to him as well. I talk to Paisley as well. I think the problem, the area you're getting into is that you're starting to wait for an answer back I feel like he does get in I feel like in his way he does I think it's like therapy I've had a therapist and stuff like that and it took me a long time to realise that they sit there in silence they let you talk and you just talk and talk and talk and like the first couple of times I was having these therapy sessions I was like fucking the dickhead don't do anything he just sits there I'm paying money for this and then after a little while me just talking constantly I came up with my own answers and I was like that's what the guy's doing he's Derren Brown to me I've I've came to my own I mean if that's true you can sit and talk to your fucking war then you can talk to a dog right and I do you sit there and you go don't be burdening Cosmo with all your fucking problems we'll be watching because that will affect him we'll see in the kitchen I go what do you reckon about this I'm a bit worried about this coming up mate I don't know you do not don't bud in that wee puppy with your shit he's great and he looks at me and he does he does stuff like I talk to him this is what I'm saying I know you don't believe me as well this is what I'm saying when you leave the house if you came home and I didn't hear you open the door and you saw me talking to the dog you'd be like I've got to get like this has got to stop this is too much I talk to him I chat to him sometimes he like puts his like I talk about something he puts his little paw on me and I go no because he wants you to scratch his underarm that's his favourite thing I know he loves that that's what he does he puts his paw so that you scratch under there there's been a couple of times where he's timed that like really perfect and I go yeah no no it'll be alright won't it we'll be alright we'll get there in the end good god he's really good James yeah if I was a pet yeah if I was a pet animal what would I be I think you'd be you'd be a cat you'd definitely be a cat really?
17:26Clair Buckley:yeah oh I don't like cats well you have the attributes of the cat there right okay I see what you're saying yeah sort of cold like we'll let you stroke them if they're really in the mood. Yeah.
17:53Yeah.
17:54Clair Buckley:But other than that, every now and again affectionate to keep you going, oh no, no, no, they're all right. No, I do love this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll keep it around you. But most of the time, just like, might fucking claw me at some point. Right, okay. Fine. And what are you, fucking golden retriever? No, I don't want the golden retriever thing. I think I'm a bit more calculated than the golden retriever. No, I'm a staffie. I'm like Cosmo. You are not a fucking staffie. You're Cosmo, yeah. No, you're no. Yeah. No, you're no. You're a fish. I'm a fish? Yeah. You're a fish. Yeah. I've got the memory of one.
18:34Clair Buckley:Yeah, you have. You've got the memory of one. You're constantly just shitting everywhere. Yeah. That's what they do. Just swim around shit where they eat. they don't do anything I do and I do go around going they're not very interesting I'm quite surprised about stuff you can't teach them anything they don't do any tricks no useless useless and a lot of maintenance a lot of maintenance a lot of maintenance and quite expensive quite expensive yeah you're a goldfish well the goldfish isn't expensive I'd like to think I'm more of a some sort of clownfish it's one of my favourite animals it's one of my favourite animals the clownfish I'd love a saltwater do you know what people I hate?
19:19Clair Buckley:what? when you say if somebody says for instance the clownfish it's one of my favourite animals they go it's not an animal a fish not fish are animals no people say that people say that people go oh no fish aren't animals because what's my favourite animal in the whole world? well it's a mammal right so you're that person yeah but it's not a fish that's actually not it's a marsupial it's not a marsupial no i know but i'm just saying it's the people who correct it right there's humans and there's animals yeah i would say insects right even then i would say a snake is an animal it is but people correct that snake's not an insect no i know it's a fucking reptile yeah it's a type yeah that's a type of animal but people correct with stuff like that.
20:07People say like animals are like four-legged.
20:11Clair Buckley:See, you've made yourself look an idiot, right? Because you did have a good point because I do think there are people that go fish. Are animals? No, I don't think they do. Fish isn't considered an animal. I'm sure it is. All right. Get in touch. Make yourself look an idiot, right? Get in touch. Look up. No, we'll let the listener get involved. Are fish animals? It's okay to eat them because they don't have any feelings. How do you know that? I don't. That's what Kurt Cobain said. Oh. We've got, yeah, we do have a listener email on this topic. That's weird. What? That is weird. Hey, scummy friends.
20:52Clair Buckley:Long-time listener, first-time emailer. I couldn't ignore this. This is right on my street. There are many hills one could choose to die on, some noble, some foolish, and some completely unnecessary. Mine, the age-old dinner table derailing rage-inducing debate, is fish and meat? Hmm. Interesting. Now, I know, well, they have flesh, don't they? Yeah, I think I would, well, you don't, you say meat or fish. Yeah. Do you want meat or fish? Yeah. Main course. Yeah. Now, I know what you're thinking, why does this matter? That's not what I'm thinking at all. No, no, no. No, you're in the right place.
21:36Clair Buckley:This is important. It doesn't, not even a little bit, and yet I cannot resist. Any time there is a lull in conversation, be it a dinner party, a work meeting or a date, I lean in, clear my throat. Don't do it on a date. No, this is great date stuff. No, it's not. This is brilliant date conversation. Absolutely not. This is really good. This is really, really good. Okay, well, you save that for your next day. No, but I'm just saying, you can either get a really good debate and spirited conversation out of it. You don't want to debate on a date. Or you can get, you're in agreement, the pair of you.
22:09Clair Buckley:And then you go, right. There's only two positive outcomes out of that. That's a great date conversation. I'm telling you. If I was out on a date and a girl dropped that on me, I'd go, all right, here we go. Honestly, I'd be rigid. I lean in clear my throat and drop the bombshell Do you know fish is actually meat? Cue the chaos, the protests Oh, he's seeing it as meat The deep existential crisis On the faces of those who suddenly realise They've spent their entire lives living a lie Because the facts They are indisputable Meat is the flesh of an animal Fish are animals Ergo, fish is meat Nice We've got Latin.
22:54Did he just say ergo? Yeah. He's lost me now. If I was sitting across the table with this guy, I'd be going, I'm just going to go to the toilet.
23:01Clair Buckley:No, I love a bit of Latin. Yeah, exactly right. That's fine. You move on. The girl that's getting involved in this. Do you want to get involved in it? No, I'm just saying. I think, who is it? Stuart. I think me and Stuart should go out on a date. But it's not sold at the butcher. Neither is kangaroo. Depends where you are. But vegetarians eat fish, some insist. That just makes them bad vegetarians. But it's different from land animals. Sure, so are frogs. This is great. He's having an argument with himself. This guy, this is me talking to Cosmo. And so I continue my mission, championing the most irrelevant yet delightful debate known to humankind.
23:47Clair Buckley:and most of all, I enjoy watching an entire table of people momentarily abandon their actual problems in favour of arguing over a topic that means absolutely nothing. Yours in unnecessary debates, Stuart. Stuart, you have this, yeah, you're our guy. That's what this whole podcast is. Yeah. I would disagree, though. I wouldn't say fresh as a mate. Absolutely you would. And that's what's brilliant about it. that's what's great about it it will carry on the debate will carry on what's your opinion? I think it is I think it counts as a meat oh you're just I think if you're a vegetarian but you eat fish you're pussyfooting and you need to fucking pick a team I actually don't think I feel like that's more and more rare actually what the vegetarians eat fish?
Read the full transcript
24:37Clair Buckley:the vegetarian that does eat fish a lot of them do I do think vegetarians do just go nothing for me I'm just fruit or veg, baby. Nothing else. Mate, love that, Stuart. Really good. Really good stuff. I need to swipe badly. Well, hang on a minute, Claire. Before we do a swipe, can I talk to you about the best animal stories of 2026 so far? Hurry up. Right. Best animal stories of 2026 so far. Swearing parrots at Lincolnshire Wildlife Centre. Five African parrots. Billy, Eric, Tyson, Jade and Elsie. have had to be separated. It's like at school when your teacher goes, right, you two aren't sitting together, encouraging each other to swear at visitors.
25:22Clair Buckley:The zoo's chief executive said... I think that's really bad that they separated them. We are quite used to parrot swearing, but we've never had five saying fuck off at the same time. And for some reason, these five relish in it. Yeah. Well, maybe you shouldn't have African parrots in Lincolnshire and they won't be pissed off. Also, a woman fulfilled their childhood dream of raising an emu.
25:49Clair Buckley:That's a weird childhood dream. A woman from Gloucestershire has no memory of buying an emu egg during a late night scroll through eBay until she got an email confirming saying it was on its way. No way. Ree Evans says she had been aimlessly adding random things to her basket when she bought the 37-pound egg. Claire,£37. Get your own emu. Absolutely not. Those things are terrifying. Yeah. That can be true. They cannot sell actual emu eggs on eBay. I don't know, maybe this is in Australia or something. No, she's Gloucestershire. What? After a two-month incubation process, Jonathan the emu was born.
26:30Clair Buckley:It was like I was living that Jurassic Park, that scene in Jurassic Park with a velociraptor hatching. You know what I was about? The little nose was poking it. I want to get an emu. Jonathan Nail Towers over here at six foot one. Is this, can you just do that? Can you just buy a fucking emu egg? That can't be right. £26.70, freshly laid emu egg. No. Oh, mate. Right, let's have a little swipe. And then we've got some listener emails, Claire. And by the way, if it wasn't for the fact that we don't have, If we had some land, I would definitely be getting an emu, by the way.
27:37Clair Buckley:Allo Lotion. You're welcome. Columbia. Engineered for whatever.
27:45Clair Buckley:Okay, we are back. And we've got some listener emails, Claire. This is a message from Scarlett, who says, hi, James and Claire. Writing this straight off a dog walk and fuming, so I wanted to share my thoughts. Brilliant. I encourage that, by the way. Yeah, do it on the spot. Do it while you're passionate. Get your phone out. Start writing an email to us straight after something that's happened here. Yeah, love that. Why do people, not even other dog owners, love to give advice on what I should be doing with my dog? They do. They really fucking do. And I've got one for you in a minute. Carry on, Scarlett.
28:18Clair Buckley:They really do. My dog is two years old and the light of my life, but my God, his recall is shit. I always keep it on the lead, but other people love to tell me I should really let him go play. Or that maybe he needs to be trained better. He's easier said than done. Yeah. he's so energetic excitable and friendly he will pick any dog or new person over coming back to me and then they've got a problem when your dog goes and says hi and then it's like that should be on a lead pick one I've made my peace with that because at home he's the best boy ever trying to stay chill and hoping fellow dog owners agree it cannot continue thanks you're absolutely right Scott people poking their nose into your fucking business absolutely and I think as well right kids and the dog it's like I get I proper get my back up if somebody says anything about my Doug I'm like are you excuse me yeah I've now had new information yes right so this is the story I was going to tell because it was me that said it to you because something happened to you and this was with Paisley so this was years ago and it was quite a warm day it was a summer's day yeah it wasn't too hot before any other fucking not always come in the comments but it was quite warm and she was a big dog she was a Rottweiler and you took her on a walk and you got her back to the car and she was panting a lot and you put her in the boot and some fucking woman said to you that dog needs some water yeah and she was going I've got some do you want me to give some to him which annoyed me yeah misgendered my fucking dog yeah she did yeah but you just sort of brushed it off and was like no like it's she's alright she'll get a drink it won't be long until she gets a drink yeah you came home and told me this story and I said to you she's actually wrong when your dog is overheated like that and panting a lot you should not give them water straight away you're supposed to let them regulate their heat absolutely it's bad for their stomach and then give them some water yeah and you were going oh Claire I wish you had been there I wish you had been there if I could have just had something to come back at her yeah I was like well Mrs know it all yeah you don't know shit love yeah And it's a girl dog.
30:34Yeah. Bitch.
30:38Clair Buckley:Absolutely, though, Scarlet. People poking their nose into your business. Yeah. You know your dog. Yeah. It's like kids. Never give people advice on how to bring up kids. Unless they ask you. Because we've had two. We have. And they're all bespoke. They are. Do you know what I mean? They are different. Bringing up Jude was completely different to bringing up Harrison. Absolutely. And different things work on each of them. And I've said this to my mates as well that have had kids after me. I've gone, by the way, when people say, oh, no, you shouldn't do that or you should do this, I was like, don't listen to them.
31:12Clair Buckley:I was like, in a couple of weeks' time, you're going to have this baby. It's going to be a whole new thing anyway. It's fucking mental how new it all is. You won't know what you're doing. No one knows what they're doing. If people pretend as if they're some sort of expert, they're talking bollocks, right? You will learn what works for you and what works for your kid. and it's a different journey every time. Yeah. Even if they're siblings. Yeah, absolutely. I assume even if they're twins, one baby will want something different than the other one and you need to work out how you guys operate and that's all you can do.
31:46Yeah, and it's the same. So we have had two dogs and Cosmo is completely different to Paisley. Paisley hated going for walks.
31:56Clair Buckley:I know, I used to have to drag her. She hated going for walks. Cosmo, it's his favourite part of the day. He loves a walk. And then, but like, I just, I hate people who try and tell you about your dog. I hate it. Yeah. We don't get that so much with the kids. I know the kids are older, but when people used to try and give me baby advice as well, I didn't like it. There was one time though, where I looked like an absolute, I looked like a baby whisperer. I looked like a genius. Because one thing, and I don't know, right? I'm just saying this 100 % works. Oh, you're giving advice. Yeah, I'm giving advice.
32:29Clair Buckley:But we used to do this thing with Harrison when he was a bit unsettled and stuff like that, and you used to do it, and then I started doing it. I was going, fucking hell, that works. What, to get them to sleep? The thing? The thing. Just like draw a line from their head to their nose. Yeah. Just like that. And I don't know what it is, they just close their eyes and just sort of fucking... I did that to Lula once when she was at a restaurant. I was like, just really gently. I did it to Blake and Kerry's baby when we were in Australia. Yeah. and Blake was like... The baby was all fussing and stuff.
33:02Clair Buckley:I was like, oh, come here. I can't do that. And I just did that. I stroked, did that to the baby. Just the head to the nose. And it just sort of went like that. And Blake was like... Yeah, they do it. What the fuck have you just done? It's because when they're overtired, it's when you can tell they're overtired. And it's basically just helping their eyes close. It needed to go to sleep. It. Yeah. The baby. She. She. It was a she, yeah. Yes, I know. the baby needed to go sleep yeah yeah but yeah I looked like some sort of like genius and I did I was like I didn't like I bet you loved that I bet you were like there you go yeah yeah I did I was like I was like proper cool about it I did it thinking this is never gonna fuck it this might work it might not this is never gonna work but I did it I was just like so yeah so do you know what I mean I've been doing this dad stuff for years yeah yeah yeah um Hannah Hannah has emailed us.
33:59Clair Buckley:Hannah says, hi, James and Claire. Hi, Hannah. I can confirm to James that I had an owl man come to my primary school too. Oh, what? You know, I was talking about that. We're going back a couple of months now. Oh, sorry. Do you know what? Loads of people in the comments were like, you know, I had fucking owls turn up one year at school to have a portrait with them, picture taken with them and stuff. I have pictures taken in my uniform with the backdrop. and the owl on my shoulder. Me and my brother also had a double shoot, owls on each shoulder. Yeah, so Hannah knows the owl thing. Yeah. Did they not do that in Scotland?
34:36Clair Buckley:I never had that. Richard, by the way, has found the greatest named dog groomers ever. Oh, Deky Dog. Richard says, love the podcast. Listen every week, first time emailer. I recall you asking people to send in pictures of local businesses. Oh, yeah. but they've given it some sort of cheesy name with a clever play on words. I was driving through Sheffield, stopped at some lights, looked to my right when I spotted the best name for a dog groomers ever. My first thought was quick, where's my camera? The Buckleys will love this one. Oh, I love that people think like that. It is called, Claire, Snip Doggy Dog.
35:14Nice. Snip Doggy Dog.
35:18Clair Buckley:Snip Doggy Dog. Love that, love that. Perfect. Let's have a quick swipe and then we've got a feature, Claire. I'll do that again, shall I?
35:32Clair Buckley:Are you ready for one of our regular features, Claire? Depends what it is. What one would you like to do out of any of them, really, deep down? Probably Buckley's Law. That's it! Play the jingle.
35:55Clair Buckley:Well, good news for you, Claire. This is my favourite one. I like these stories. These are the laws that we will pass when we will be in power. And if you have your own law you'd like us to consider, send us an email, thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk. Oh, God, that was a big one. And if you have your own law you'd like us to consider, send us an email. What's our email, Claire? thebuckleys at platformmedia.co.uk. Wrong. thebuckleysatplatformmedia.uk Oh, what happened to the call? Yeah, they got rid of it, mate. No need. Oh, sure. Right. Or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok.
36:35You ready?
36:36Clair Buckley:We got one from Mark. I was about to say we got one from Claire. We got one from Mark. Hey, Claire and James, when you get elected, can I suggest introducing a curfew for the over 75s? I'm listening. What does it mean? on the roads because I know listen I was always oh I shouldn't have no no no I'm with you I'm going to back you up we're going down together if we start getting cancelled over this over our opinions about the elderly then I'm going down swinging with you okay because they are fucking dangerous well they can be right some of them are fine when I grew up it was respect your elders during the 90s right because it was only what were we doing like what were we saying 95 50 years ago we just can you imagine that that sounds mental now doesn't it what in 95 it was only 50 years since the second world war ended that sounds insane do you not think so is that right yeah wow shit sounds a bit mental doesn't it yeah it does yeah but it used to be respect your elders they fucking they've just done some shit they've fought a war they've done some stuff yeah Nowadays the elderly are the baby boomers And they're just fucking They've done nothing Right Not all of them But All they did was they were born You know After all the boys come back from the war And they think Fucking hell I need to get my leg over here Right I'm backed up baby So all they did was They got born Then by the time they got like their 20s or whatever You know you could still sort of take some drugs and the pill came about and they just fucked around and had a great time during the 60s and had a brilliant...
38:26Clair Buckley:And now they're like, they want the same... Respect. They want the same stuff that we gave to all those war heroes, all those men and women, the girls that were building the munitions, the girls that were on the farms and stuff while the blokes were out. Wait, that's my dad? Yeah. My dad was 63. Yeah. Yeah, so our parents are boomers. Okay. Their mum and dads were, the boomers, their parents were war parents. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like I say, I'm all up for respecting the war, the elderly war heroes. Sure, sure. Home and abroad. Sure. They went through some shit. Absolutely. So if they're taking a bit of time in the aisle, they're at their checkout at Sainsbury's.
39:11Oh, no, I've always got.
39:13Clair Buckley:Yeah, absolutely. That's how I was brought up. But can I tell you something, though? But the baby boomers want that same respect. But people who are 60 now are not like people who are 60 in the 90s. Everybody's a lot younger these days, don't you think? 60's the new 40. OK, yeah, sure. Are you doing watching Sex and the City or something? Is that from Sex and the City? I don't know, it sounded like it. I have never seen a second of Sex and the City. No, I have, I've watched it. Yeah, you love it, don't you? I don't love it. I've seen it. I've watched it. You've watched the films and everything.
39:48I've watched the films, yeah.
39:49Clair Buckley:Have you watched the reboot? The new one. Do you know what? I actually started watching it and it was so fucking shit I'd stopped. Right. Yeah. They've not got the best... Like I said, I don't know anything about Sex and the City, but they haven't got the sexy one in there. Samantha. Yeah. No, she's it. She's it. Yeah. So there's nothing... No. Okay. There's nothing going on in there. There's no sex, it's just City. Yeah. Yeah. They should just call it And the city Yeah they should Yeah Anyway Right What is he saying You've not even finished this Oh no He's just having a go At old people And I agree No You need to We need to know why He wants them To have a curfew So he wants a curfew They're only allowed out I'll be honest Oh come on This is really strict That is a bit strict This is really strict Who is this Can I suggest Introducing a curfew For the over 75s say 9.30am to 3.30pm that's a bet 6 hour window Monday also Monday to Friday weekends weekends they just got to stay inside no nothing more frustrating than being stuck behind an old deer drifting along right in front of me in the supermarket and don't even get me started on the driving these legends have all the time in the world to pop out during the week yet somehow choose the exact moment eye nipping for a quick shot I'm convinced this small policy would create a far calmer and more pleasant shopping experience for the nation I do, Mark, I see where you're coming from Nah, he's wrong I see where you're coming from I do think the six hour window Monday to Friday It's a bit much It is a bit much I would rather get rid of young kids than old people There was a fucking young kid today and it's not even the kids that are the problem it's the parents and we'd covered this a couple of weeks ago the gentle parent in the wild Are you going to talk about the turnstiles?
41:50Yeah fucking drove me nuts I was like it's not the fucking time it's not the time it was first thing in the morning the train station was absolutely packed We were trying to get a train People were trying we were a little bit late I had the shits it's not her fault but we were trying to get through there was a lot of people trying to get through people were trying to go to fucking work there's this kid must have been about four or five having a tantrum I want to do it I want to put the card on the thing and the mum's going okay yes you can okay so just hold it here put it in there and I was going you've got to fucking move hen this is not the time for this shit
42:30Clair Buckley:just for what do you call it now if I saw an old woman struggling with that I wouldn't care I'd have all the time in the world I'd maybe say do you need a hand do you want me to help you that shit I cannot deal with just to add some if that was Harrison I'd be going you can do it another time move just to add some equilibrium I'm not sure that's the right word here but the dad was also there yeah and they were trying to work out how to get one of them round the other side so that the kid could do the little card so that there was someone there was a parent waiting for the kid at the other end of the it's not the time no we're all trying to we're all we're all fucking getting somewhere alright pick your kid up put the finger in go through I'm not here to this this isn't being built for your kid to have a fucking fun day no and that's what I was thinking in my head I was like listen off to the National History Museum or whatever you're fucking doing if it was quiet I'd be like yeah right okay right so you just do that but the thing was having a tantrum it caused a thing It caused a sort of...
43:40It did.
43:40Clair Buckley:There was a wave. It did. Caused a backlog. There was people going through and then there was this bit that caused a backlog. It fucked the whole thing up. Yeah. Because this kid was like, I want to do it, I want to do it. Yeah. I would have gone shut, shut, picked him up and gone through. Absolutely. Absolutely. Right, who else we got? John? John's here. John says... So, yeah, that's not... No, that... Mark, no, you can't. We can't push that. Listen, if they're an arsehole, then fine. Mark, we want their votes We're going to need their votes You know we're not actually running for any sort of Not right now John says, hi James and Claire When you finally rule the world Can you please, please, please ban mobile phones at live events Especially live music Why do people pay large amounts of money to watch their favourite band And then decide to watch it through their tiny mobile phone screen the video quality is shit the sound is awful and nobody including the person filming is ever going to watch it again watch it again yeah erm I do do that I'll tell you what I don't do it for the whole gig and stuff I think that's the problem I'll tell you what it's the whole time it's being it's being held up I think you're allowed you're allowed a couple of pictures you're allowed a little video it's in there it's a memory but he's right who watches that back it's like people recording fireworks well let me stop you right there I'll watch them back I've got some videos and stuff of the Oasis gig sometimes I'm lying in bed at night I'll go through them and I'll watch them back again okay well fine fine when I'm paying good money I don't want to see my favourite band through your shitty mobile screen you selfish arseholes when you're in charge please use your powers to bring back the good old days of live performances love the pod, love Mother's Pride oh good for you and can we see more of James in his Morris dancing costume?
45:38Clair Buckley:Thank you, John. Hey, listen, John, you do have a point. People take the piss, John. Ian says, hi, guys, just dropping you a Buckley's Law to think about passing when you're both in charge. Love the confidence from all these people. There's no ambiguity. There's no sort of if. No, I know. I know. Ian says, hi, guys, just dropping you a Buckley's Law to think about passing when you're both in charge. One thing that really annoys me is when you're watching a film with someone which you both have never watched before and the other person is asking you questions about what's going to happen next. Ian says, I don't fucking know.
46:13Clair Buckley:I'm watching it for the first time with you. It's one thing that really grinds my gears. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. I get that. Because if you continue, the great thing about films, now they're stopping it, aren't they? TV shows and films. They call it second screening or something like that, I think, where they're making stories so fucking boring and easy to follow that you can follow it while you're looking at your phone. I don't think that will catch on. I don't think people are doing that. It's caught on. I don't think people are doing that. Claire, it's happening. Okay. That's what's happening.
46:49Clair Buckley:I know for a fact it's happening. When you write something, when you go, and they go, can you have this character explain everything that's going on with words so that when they're not looking at the screen they can just hear what's going on right now. I'm telling you, that is happening. That's terrible. It is terrible. It's awful. It's because some people go, oh, what's that? Why have they done that? That doesn't make sense. And you have to go to them, well, I've just seen, I've seen the whole same stuff that you've had. I assume if we keep watching that it will be explained eventually. I know that it's not been explained right this second, but that's what's really interesting.
47:33Clair Buckley:You're asking the questions that you should just be asking yourself and you go, oh, I wonder what that one is. Yeah, I can't wait for them to explain. It will happen. See, my thing with watching films is, and you do this to me quite a lot, and it does get on my nerves. Oh, it does, does it? Yeah.
47:51So I'll get quite excited to show you a film, right? I like show you some... What? What?
47:57Clair Buckley:why are you looking at me like that some of your quote end quote favorite films greatest films ever made are so terrible they're so shit what are you talking about i don't want to slag any films off and stuff because i can't really talk but you go this is the this is such a great film you need to watch this no i'll try and sit down we'll be sitting down we don't have anything to watch and it's like oh there's been some films that you've got you've been going on to me for years yes i'm like oh you should watch that with you i'd love to watch that with you it's so good spitting everywhere i'd love to watch that with you don't get angry with me because you know i'm not getting angry with you but you're you're you're rude because i'll say to you i'll be like sorry for being rude well you're always anyway you're always like oh you don't want to do any whatever when i want to show you a film i'm like let's sit down we'll get something to eat we'll watch a film honestly you'll like it you'll like it and then you like just like walk out the room or something so i'll like pause it and then you're like oh no it's all right don't worry about it and i'm like that breaks my heart because you're just telling me that you don't care you just want you go to the kitchen you go to the toilet and i'm like i've seen this you're like put this on for you this film's great this film's so great um there's only you decide straight away there's If I say a film's great, you go, I'm not going to like it.
49:22And then you don't put your heart into it. And then I watch it. You don't put your heart into it. I watch it and I go, I was absolutely right.
49:27Clair Buckley:You try and not like it. You do. You do that all the time. Why do I do something to try and not like something? Because you do. I can tell you do. No, you go, oh, this film's so great. There's only one actor in it. It's really brilliant. It's one actor, the whole film. And they show it on like a camcorder. What film is that? Like you're making stuff up. No, but that's the type of film that you like. it's interesting listen I try and show you good films all the time and I try and say I think you'll you've shown me you make me watch the Inbetweeners all the time that's not true I don't even watch I don't even watch the Inbetweeners you're always like no click watch I'm coming up I'm coming up watch this bit watch what I do yeah you do that all the time and I've got to sit there and pretend people will believe that I've only ever seen those films once and that was because I had to go to the premiere I've never watched those I've never watched them since no I think they're good, but why would I watch them?
50:21Anyway, that's something that you do about films. I would rather somebody was asking me questions and showing interest than just walking out a room and then I'm like, oh, do you want me to pause it? And you're like, nah, it's fine. I'm like, oh, okay.
50:37Clair Buckley:I love that you like your films. I love that you like those films. They're not mainstream films. Because he knows he's mean. I am being mean, yeah. And I am sorry if it does, yeah. They're shit films. They're fucking shit. They're not. But it's great that you love those films and you're propping up a whole, you know, there should be more people like you. Low budget, indie, independently. I love them. Love them. Love them. Listen, we've all done shit films. Right, that's it for this week's episode of The Buckleys. Thanks for listening. remember that you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok and don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever lesser podcast app that you like to use and if you're feeling extra generous why not go ahead and leave us a review all that is left is for Claire to say see you next Thursday bye guys go to the Chiefs Chafetons you're not clapping clap sorry it's your podcast clap your podcast
51:45Thank you.
From the publisher
Is fish a meat? The Buckleys debate this after one listener sends in a compelling argument. Clair is enraged by inconsiderate commuters, and James reveals how he's been getting unique therapy sessions (from the beloved family dog). The Buckleys also read through some of the funniest animal stories, giving James an idea for a strange new pet.
You can be a part of the podcast too by emailing your messages to: thebuckleys@platformmedia.uk or by dropping us a DM @thebuckleyspod
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