⁠Pettiest Revenge EVER

6:26James Buckley:When you press shuffle Just on songs Inevitably a U2 song is going to come on No one wants that No, no

6:35Clair Buckley:I'm not a big U2 fan No Are you a big U2 fan? Anyone here?

6:39James Buckley:Not one person, no They're meant to be massive

6:41Clair Buckley:Not one person in this room is a U2 fan

6:43James Buckley:One, two, three, four, five, six, seven people. Not one in seven. Zero percent. Yeah.

6:49Clair Buckley:Are you two fans? Yeah. But yeah, I was just thinking about that the other day.

6:52James Buckley:Yeah, that was weird. What a time. That was weird, yeah. So confusing.

6:58Clair Buckley:Try explaining that to the kids nowadays.

6:59James Buckley:That's what we should try and do with this podcast. We should get Spotify to just buy it and it's on everybody's phones. Anybody who's got a Spotify app have to listen to the book. But that's the thing.

7:10Clair Buckley:The business model's changed now. So most people do buy a subscription.

7:14James Buckley:Yeah.

7:15Clair Buckley:And they do have every single song.

7:18James Buckley:Well, it should be played every time you go into the Spotify app.

7:21Clair Buckley:I'm thinking of doing it in, like, going around the country and in bell towers and stuff like that, just putting big speakers in. Yeah. Sort of 7 o 'clock in the morning. Our podcast comes on every morning.

7:35James Buckley:PG's jingles playing it for everybody to hear. Yeah. Yeah, let's do it.

7:42Clair Buckley:I'm just, you know, maybe I'll do that. Hey, can I talk to you about something else that I was thinking about? And I thought I'll talk about this on the podcast because that's how my brain works these days. I wanted to ask you, Claire, what was your childhood videos? Don't want to keep banging on about the 90s, which I've been ages. But I just wanted to know, like, because obviously we grew up at a time where you couldn't just watch whatever you wanted. So you had a handful of videos that you watched to death.

8:09James Buckley:Yeah, so the ones that are coming to mind, The Jungle Book, I watched that a lot. Land Before Time, had that on video, watched that a lot. Beauty and the Beast. Right. And then there was a weird video, like Starship Troopers.

8:27Clair Buckley:I don't think you watched that as a kid.

8:29James Buckley:Is that what it's called?

8:31Clair Buckley:There was a film called Starship Troopers.

8:32James Buckley:Yeah, but that video was always there. I never watched it.

8:35Clair Buckley:Right. But I'm just saying it was in the pile. I was going to say, because I think that film just kicks off with a shower scene. Oh, really? With a load of naked people in the shower just chatting.

8:46James Buckley:Really? Yes. Starship troopers.

8:48Clair Buckley:Well, they're all, I think it's set in the future. It's set in space. Right.

8:52James Buckley:Yeah, yeah.

8:52Clair Buckley:I've only seen, I only watched up to the shower scene. And they're fighting aliens on a planet. It's the army. It's like a space army. Yeah, yeah. And then they all hit the showers afterwards.

9:02James Buckley:Right.

9:03Clair Buckley:Like, it's so unnecessary. Yeah. And they discuss things. There's all sort of plot and things being discussed in the shower that could be done at the breakfast table or something like that. But if they were like, no, get them all in the shower.

9:15James Buckley:Have they got the knobs out?

9:16Clair Buckley:I think so. I think there's some knob in there. There's definitely some boobs.

9:19James Buckley:Oh, okay. Men and women are showering together?

9:22Clair Buckley:Well, it's the future, Claire, and it's all very... Right.

9:24James Buckley:It's not the 90s anymore?

9:25Clair Buckley:No, men, women, whatever.

9:26James Buckley:Okay, all right. But yeah, those are the ones that come to mind. There was also one in my gran and papa's house that I used to watch all the time, and it was, I can never remember what it's called, but it was an old woman who had a little dog and the dog went on this big adventure and then managed to come home. Can't remember what it was called, but I used to love that film. Okay. Homeward Bound? It's not Homeward Bound. Because I went through a phase of trying to figure out what the hell this film was and people kept saying that and it wasn't that. It wasn't the big golden retriever thing. it was this weird little scraggly dog and an old woman.

10:05James Buckley:I might have made it up.

10:07Clair Buckley:Let us know in the comments.

10:08James Buckley:But, yeah. I would love it if somebody could tell me what that film was. I've been trying to find that out for years.

10:14Clair Buckley:It's stuff like this why I do this. Yeah. But I'm only now sort of realising that my videos might have been a bit weird. Right. Because, bear in mind, I didn't grow up in the 30s. No. Okay? Yeah. I had the Superman cartoon collection, the Max Fleischer, is that how you say his name? That's from 1941.

10:40James Buckley:Right.

10:40Clair Buckley:That was one of my childhood films. I had Bill and Ben, the flowerpot men. That was black and white.

10:46James Buckley:Yeah, because you said to me...

10:48Clair Buckley:That ended in 1953.

10:49James Buckley:Yeah, because you were like, what, you never watched Bill and Ben? And I was like, no.

10:53Clair Buckley:Yeah.

10:54James Buckley:And I was like, I was normal.

10:56Clair Buckley:I used to watch Bill and Ben. It was a black and white VHS. VHS. That was one of my childhood films. I think my most up-to-date VHS tape was Super Ted. Yeah. That was from 1981.

11:08James Buckley:Yeah.

11:08Clair Buckley:Button Moon, that came out in 1980. And there were some movies that I always watched as well. Michael Jackson's Moonwalker, which when you watch it now...

11:19James Buckley:Careful.

11:19Clair Buckley:...is a really bizarre film.

11:22James Buckley:He was a bizarre guy.

11:23Clair Buckley:Listen, don't get me wrong, it was the weirdest thing about the bloke. But I had both... Both Bill and Ted movies. That was a big deal for them. Yeah, my brother then. But they were all taped off the television. Right. You never did a real video? No, I didn't. No, they were all blank VHS tapes that were taped off the TV.

11:44James Buckley:James thinks I grew up royalty because I had a couple of Disney videos.

11:50Clair Buckley:Yeah, you had Disney videos with the sleeves and the case and everything. Mine were all sort of like... The VHS would kick off and I could tell that my dad was messing with the tracking and stuff like that to stop some fuzz. Do you know that? Do you know about that? Yeah. But you had to fast forward through adverts and stuff as well, which was annoying. The only VHS tape that I did have with a cover on it, with an actual case, like a plastic case and stuff, was The Lion King.

12:18James Buckley:Right. That was the first film I saw at the cinema.

12:20Clair Buckley:That was actually a pirate video. Oh. and the case was printed from a printer. Right. Someone at my school, at my primary school, just was knocking about with pirate copies of The Lion King.

12:33James Buckley:Yeah, there was always a few of them.

12:34Clair Buckley:Every single person. At primary school? That's when it came out.

12:38James Buckley:Where the hell did you grow up?

12:40Clair Buckley:I think...

12:41James Buckley:What, some eight-year-old guy? No, there wasn't a kid. You want to have a look in your back? Hey, you've got some busking. There wasn't a kid with a camel hair coat or whatever

12:49Clair Buckley:and a pencil moustache.

12:51James Buckley:So who was it then?

12:54Clair Buckley:Lion King, Lion King? Move along, move along. Who was it then?

12:57James Buckley:If it wasn't the kids, a teacher?

12:59Clair Buckley:I assume it was, it might have been a teacher. It was either a teacher or one of the parents. Someone was going about and they had copies of these. That's even weirder. No, there was a thing about the Lion King where it came out in the cinema and then I don't think there was a video, a home video release of it for years or something. Okay. There's some weird thing. Look it up. It's fascinating. and so there was a big market for pirated copies of The Lion King. Right, okay. Everyone had one. Everyone had one of those pirated copies.

13:30James Buckley:I didn't. I had the real one because I'm dead posh, isn't I?

13:33Clair Buckley:Did you have the real one?

13:34James Buckley:No, I didn't have, I don't know if I had Lion King actually, but my sister, what was annoying was, my sister's like 10 years younger than me and the difference, I had like four videos that I watched over and over again. and she had the lot, all of them. DVDs.

13:50Clair Buckley:Yeah, big box set collection of Disney. Yeah, box sets of everything.

13:53James Buckley:Yeah, she had everything.

13:54Clair Buckley:It's bullshit, mate. I know. Should we do her in?

13:59Clair Buckley:Fucking striper.

14:00James Buckley:Yeah, sure.

14:02Clair Buckley:Hey, Claire. Yes, James. I don't want to freak you out. I don't want to freak you out. This is the part of the podcast where I usually do a little bit of a moan.

14:09James Buckley:Yeah. Right? No way.

14:11Clair Buckley:Today, I've got something to be pleased about. Today, something good's happened to me.

14:15James Buckley:Go on.

14:16Clair Buckley:My phone's done a 180 on me, Claire.

14:19James Buckley:What do you mean?

14:20Clair Buckley:Right, remember when you were typing a message to someone and it'd be like, don't fucking do that. And it would take the word fucking and turn it into...

14:29James Buckley:Ducking.

14:29Clair Buckley:Ducking.

14:30James Buckley:Yeah, yeah.

14:31Clair Buckley:I was writing a message yesterday to my mate. I said the word fucking. I accidentally wrote the word ducking and it changed it to fucking for me.

14:43James Buckley:So it's finally on bond?

14:46Clair Buckley:Autocorrect has caught up

14:47James Buckley:Finally

14:47Clair Buckley:We don't mean ducking We've never meant ducking

14:51James Buckley:Nobody We mean fucking I wonder how long people have spent Going back and taking the D out And putting the F in Yeah of course Move on

15:04Clair Buckley:Taking the D out and putting the F back in Sorry my brain had to compute that Nice Alright Well, anyway, we'll get this done.

15:15James Buckley:Which is the opposite. If you want to get fucking, you can't be taking the D-E-R.

15:18Clair Buckley:You can't. Moving on. No, I can carry on. This is right up my street. This is exactly in my wheelhouse. No, but I just thought, do you know what? Tomorrow I'm not going to moan on the podcast. We're going to celebrate. We're going to celebrate autocorrect finally getting it right. Thank you, autocorrect. Photocorrect.

15:42James Buckley:well done that's from

15:44Clair Buckley:look around you hey Claire yes James I'm sorry what no I think I'm overtired I think I'm overstimulated

15:50James Buckley:he's been saying this the whole way in right

15:52Clair Buckley:because all you've been saying to me is you've been going you're fucking annoying me you were being really annoying

15:58James Buckley:what was I doing that was annoying what was I doing

16:01Clair Buckley:that was annoying

16:01James Buckley:right and then everybody in this room we were having a little bit of technical difficulties this morning yes and early on we're sitting there I mean we must have been here for what about 45 minutes before anything even happened.

16:12Clair Buckley:They're useless, but we know it moves on.

16:14James Buckley:You're singing Christmas songs in a weird accent. You're bugging everybody.

16:20Clair Buckley:What Christmas song was I singing? I can't even remember.

16:22James Buckley:Simply having a wonderful Christmas time.

16:24Clair Buckley:Was that it? Yeah. No, I was singing Travis.

16:27James Buckley:Oh, yeah, you were singing Travis.

16:28Clair Buckley:Why is it always rain on me? And then I said Bradley Walsh was the highest selling artist one year.

16:35James Buckley:There's a reason why we weren't recording.

16:37Clair Buckley:And I said maybe I should bring out an album of covers.

16:39James Buckley:Okay, but all I'm saying is you don't get to be really irritating and then just go, I think I'm tired, Claire.

16:46Clair Buckley:No, but I think I'm overtired.

16:48James Buckley:Overtired. What are you, fucking three?

16:50Clair Buckley:Yes. No, but I think I am overtired.

16:53James Buckley:Okay, and what's your point?

16:54Clair Buckley:I think you need to carry me out to the car.

16:59James Buckley:Yeah, I mean, I'm sure I could. Under the arm.

17:04Clair Buckley:What were we talking about? I don't know.

17:06James Buckley:What's going on?

17:07Clair Buckley:We've been I'll tell you what Claire My whole rhythm's off The whole rhythm's off The technical problems Yeah Because we've sat here for a while We have But not been podcasting

17:17James Buckley:No

17:17Clair Buckley:So now I don't know I don't know what we were talking about earlier Whether that was the podcast or not

17:23James Buckley:It wasn't

17:24Clair Buckley:I don't know what's going on

17:25James Buckley:It wasn't So these people are listening to this right now Going come on guys Pull it together For duck's sake

17:31Clair Buckley:Have a bit of professionalism You ducking Duckers right let's swipe okay let's have a swipe let's have a little transition swipe go on and i can try and see if my brain still works afterwards now at lowe's faster quotes started the lowe's

17:49James Buckley:pro desk got a material list handwritten on a sticky note you saved us a photo perfect bring it to us and get a quote in minutes and if you don't see what you need on the shelf we'll help you get it you can access thousands of products beyond what's available in store or on lowe's.com right from the Lowe's ProDesk. Build quotes faster and source the materials you need to keep your jobs moving. Just like that at Lowe's.

18:15Clair Buckley:This episode is brought to you by Welch's Fruit Snacks. Back to school season can be tough on parents, but choosing a snack you and your kids can both get behind doesn't have to be. Stock up on Welch's Fruit Snacks, made with whole fruit, and now made with no artificial dyes. It's a snack kids already love and one you can feel good about giving them. Go back to school with Welch's Fruit Snacks, now made with no artificial dyes. Hear that? That's now Crispy and McCrispy Strips meeting creamy Caesar sauce. Sounds extra crispy. Caesar sauce at McDonald's for a limited time.

18:59Clair Buckley:Claire's I live and breathe. Before we get into today's main theme, there are some quick listener updates to share. First of all, I've got a message here from Curtis. His message is called Chieftain Power.

19:14James Buckley:For the love of God, what now?

19:16Clair Buckley:Hi, guys, big fan of the pod, and I thought you'd appreciate this. This is a generator on my work site that, since listening to you guys, I can't not shout out, go on the chieftains every time I walk past it. So thanks for that. It's just a big power generator With chieftain written inside Go on to chieftains Chieftains

19:39James Buckley:Thanks Curtis This is the shit people think we want to hear

19:41Clair Buckley:Yeah I do

19:42James Buckley:Keep them coming in Just kidding Curtis

19:44Clair Buckley:If you see the word chieftain anywhere Make sure you shout Go on to chieftains Chieftains We've also been sent by a few people Is that right?

19:53James Buckley:Yeah there's been a lot of comments on Instagram apparently Yes

19:57Clair Buckley:About a video that's doing the rounds

20:01James Buckley:Yeah, so...

20:02Clair Buckley:It's an old Home and Away montage.

20:05James Buckley:Yeah, so, I mean, we went a bit Buckley's named obsessed the other day, do you remember, with the town called Buckley's stuff? Well, loads of people, apparently, have been forwarding us a compilation clip from Home and Away. Is Home and Away still on? I used to love Home and Away.

20:23Clair Buckley:I know Neighbours isn't.

20:24James Buckley:But it seems like we're a big deal down under and have been name-checked Out. That's who it was. I knew his face.

20:35Clair Buckley:He owned the bar, didn't he?

20:36James Buckley:The diner thing, wasn't it?

20:39Clair Buckley:I was more neighbours.

20:40James Buckley:No, I liked Home and Away. But anyway, it seems that...

20:43Clair Buckley:Dr. Carl. Dr. Carl Kennedy.

20:47James Buckley:What was his wife's name?

20:50Clair Buckley:Sheila. Susan. Susan. Susan. Who was the evil guy that lost his leg? Robert? Something Roberts? Paul Robinson. that was it anyway

21:01James Buckley:it seems like we're a big deal down under and I've been name checked by the legendary Alf Stewart and the rest of the cast from Home and Away countless times so the compilation clip is the cast of Home and Away and they keep saying the phrase not a Buckley's chance now because we can't show it we'll put we'll reshare it on the Buckley's Instagram

21:21Clair Buckley:the Buckley's podcast

21:23James Buckley:Instagram

21:23Clair Buckley:you can repost stuff on Instagram now can't you

21:25James Buckley:yeah so we'll do that

21:26Clair Buckley:go and check out the clip We're not allowed for legal reasons. We're not allowed to play the clip right now, but it is very funny. We've just listened to it. And it's basically a load of Australian people saying, you've got Buckley's chance. Yeah. Which means no chance or slim the nun.

21:45James Buckley:Yeah. You've got two chances, Buckley and Nun.

21:48Clair Buckley:We've got some actual facts here from the producers, fun facts. It says here that it comes from the story of William Buckley, an English convict who escaped in 1803 from a penal settlement at Port Phillip near present day Melbourne. Presumed dead, he reappeared 32 days, 32 years, sorry. 32 days wouldn't be as exciting, would it? He reappeared half an hour later. after living with the Watarong Watarong I'm not very good with my Aboriginal pronunciation surviving something most thought was impossible hence Buckley's chance

22:35James Buckley:Who billed that as fun fact?

22:38Clair Buckley:The producers

22:39James Buckley:What one? On up!

22:43Clair Buckley:It's a joint effort No one's ready to take the blame But yeah Is it still Australians? Yeah Is it still used? Yeah Do you still use it? You've got Buckley's chance You've got Buckley's chance Mate you've got Buckley's chance

22:58James Buckley:Yeah

23:00Clair Buckley:You've got two I reckon you've got two chances Nun and Buckley's

23:04James Buckley:So weird I've never heard that before

23:07Clair Buckley:I can't believe I didn't know that Yeah Considering I love Australia

23:11James Buckley:You love Australia And you love yourself Yeah So it's like the perfect combination

23:16Clair Buckley:It absolutely is.

23:17James Buckley:I tell you what, you've got Buckley's chance.

23:19Clair Buckley:Is that right?

23:19James Buckley:Yeah.

23:20Clair Buckley:Is that where they got it from?

23:21James Buckley:Yeah, yeah.

23:22Clair Buckley:No.

23:22James Buckley:Your sex life. Well, I always worm my way in there.

23:29Clair Buckley:Like William Buckley, I do quite literally pull off the unbelievable. Anyway.

23:38James Buckley:Yeah, 32 years later.

23:40Clair Buckley:And on that Buckley bombshell, we've received a very short email from one listener. It simply says, I think the algorithm glitched, but I'm going to listen anyway. Lisa Buckley. Is that it? What does that mean? What does that mean? I think she's never heard the show before, but the show's appeared on her feet. Because she's called Lisa Buckley. Has she emailed in? Thanks, Lisa. That's good to know. Are we related, maybe? Let us know what you thought of the show and get back in touch with any feedback.

24:16James Buckley:What the fuck have yous been doing this week? I don't know.

24:17Clair Buckley:Were you guys drunk? Were you guys drunk when you... What actually have yous been doing? You've dedicated a whole feature to something that we can't explain or show the listener what we're talking about.

24:32James Buckley:This is why it took us so long to get started today. I think they fucking wrote this 10 minutes ago. 20.

24:38Clair Buckley:No, they did it 30 years ago. Watch yourself. It was 32 years ago they wrote this.

24:43James Buckley:Well, anyway, apparently they've turned it into a theme. So off the back of the Australian saying Buckley's Chance, we thought that we'd discuss all things that people say they can do but don't have a Buckley's Chance of doing it in real life.

25:00Clair Buckley:All right.

25:00James Buckley:Okay.

25:01Clair Buckley:Have we got a theme song? We haven't got a theme song for Not A Buckley's Chance.

25:05James Buckley:Unbelievable.

25:06Clair Buckley:Here's some examples of things that you don't have a Buckley's Chance of doing. Convincing yourself you'll just have the one pint. That's true. That is true. Yeah. That is true.

25:17James Buckley:We have done that a couple of times.

25:19Clair Buckley:However, I've got a mate of mine whose nickname is One Pint.

25:22James Buckley:Why?

25:23Clair Buckley:This goes back a couple of decades now. He came to the pub and it's always the same thing. It's like, oh, I'm only coming in for one. Got to get home. She wants me to come home. And he did. He had one pint and went home. So everyone called him One Pint after that.

25:40James Buckley:Because the guy actually did what he said he was going to do.

25:42Clair Buckley:Because he had one pint, he was like, right, I'm off. And everyone was like, what? You're not actually... I mean, yeah, you tell her you're having one, but you have, you know, two or three at least.

25:51James Buckley:Well, there's a thing, isn't there? It's like if a guy says he's got to the pub for two, it means four.

25:58Clair Buckley:Right.

25:58James Buckley:And if he says he's gone for three, it averages on seven or something like that. Seven? Yeah, yeah.

26:04Clair Buckley:Well, we'll have to work out what the equation is. I'm sure there is a mathematical, you know, what do you do, double it? take away one or something like that.

26:11James Buckley:I think it is something like that, actually.

26:13Clair Buckley:Keeping white trainers clean for longer than a week? Impossible.

26:16James Buckley:I'm pretty good at that. I'm pretty good at keeping my trainers clean, you know.

26:19Clair Buckley:I avoid white trainers mostly.

26:21James Buckley:No, I love them.

26:22Clair Buckley:But I do. I keep good, to be fair, I keep really good care of my trainers.

26:26James Buckley:You spray that stuff on them. Cripp protect. Stinks.

26:29Clair Buckley:Every time before I leave the house, give them a little spray.

26:31James Buckley:And every time we have the same argument, I tell you to do it outside. It's so chemically.

26:35Clair Buckley:And I keep explaining to you.

26:37James Buckley:What's your fucking tone?

26:38Clair Buckley:I keep explaining to you, Claire, what's the reason why I can't do that outside?

26:44James Buckley:I don't know.

26:45Clair Buckley:Because I haven't got the shoes on yet. Put them on! I'm still spraying them.

26:49James Buckley:Well, you can put them on and take them out.

26:51Clair Buckley:No, because then you have to put the can upside down.

26:53James Buckley:All right, well, put your slippers on and take them out.

26:56Clair Buckley:Claire. It stinks. That's one too many steps that I'm prepared to. Starting a new hobby. Starting a new hobby. Not a Buckley's chance. I was talking to you yesterday that I might start not tennis, what's the other one? Golf.

27:10James Buckley:Yeah, you were, yeah. I might play golf. Not tennis. What's the other one? What's the matter with you?

27:18Clair Buckley:Golf. I was thinking about maybe starting golf.

27:21James Buckley:Yeah, well your mate plays, C Bartlett plays golf.

27:24Clair Buckley:I said to him.

27:25James Buckley:You needed something to.

27:26Clair Buckley:Yeah, can you get like a half do you play golf? Does anyone play golf here? I think you can get half a set of clubs. You don't have to go in and get the full I think you can get a half set of clubs

27:35James Buckley:and I said go and try it a couple of times before you buy something and I said to you

27:39Clair Buckley:you've got to buy the clubs first because they've got to be the right size and all this

27:42James Buckley:yeah but couldn't you just share with Cam he's a different height to me

27:46Clair Buckley:but I'll just get half half half a set of golfs clubs golfs clubs

27:51James Buckley:golfs yeah yeah

27:53Clair Buckley:remembering your reusable bags when going to the supermarket never we've got so many reusable bags not once

27:57James Buckley:I know

27:58Clair Buckley:but also you can't chuck them out you definitely can't chuck them out now because they are reusable yeah I know like Like everyone's always got their drawer full of plastic bags because it is good to reuse them. And everyone was reusing them before they imposed this reuse thing. But you don't. You forget to bring them. You've got those clever clogs where they're like, I keep mine in the car.

28:17James Buckley:You should keep them in the book. Yeah, I think my mum keeps hers in the book.

28:20Clair Buckley:But they get brought into the house. I know. You bring them into the house, you unload them all. True. And the last thing you want to do then is go back to the car. How would you know? Just put them in the...

28:29James Buckley:When was the last time you unloaded the shop and put it away?

28:32Clair Buckley:Baby I'm going to unload in a minute If you don't Be careful What? I can fucking knock him out Keeping a group Keeping a group WhatsApp on topic That is difficult Yeah

28:47James Buckley:You're trying to arrange something Yeah

28:48Clair Buckley:Only watching one more episode Of a good TV show before bed

28:52James Buckley:Yeah

28:53Clair Buckley:Getting through a podcast record Without moaning You fucking Silly fucking searching for one thing on the internet without going down to YouTube slash Wikipedia wormhole the Wikipedia

29:11James Buckley:I don't spend a lot of time on Wikipedia

29:14Clair Buckley:you'd look something up so you'd be like Oasis Wiki I wonder how many times he's done that and then you'll start reading stuff and in 1997 they collaborated with Richard Ashcroft and then you go and then you click on Richard Ashcroft and then you read his life story.

29:33James Buckley:Have you seen the Kevin Bridges bit on that? Where he's trying to go to sleep at night without looking at his phone and then he looks sucking up and he does this huge monologue. That's it. That's what we're talking about. It's really good.

29:45Clair Buckley:That's what we're talking about. Replacing a spare tyre during a breakdown. I've done that. I've never done that. I've done that before. I've done that in the deserts of Morocco. Had to replace a spare tyre. Fact. That's as interesting as that story gets. remembering someone's name immediately after they've told you.

30:06James Buckley:I'm not bad with names. I'm awful with names. I'm not too bad.

30:09Clair Buckley:Terrible with names. Just don't bother now. Just don't bother. It's luckily, it's luckily, it's lucky that Guy's name's Guy.

30:17James Buckley:Yeah, just some guy.

30:19Clair Buckley:He's just some guy. He's just some guy. Keeping a New Year's resolution past mid-Jan. Got anything to say entertaining about that, Claire?

30:28James Buckley:I don't do New Year's resolutions.

30:30Clair Buckley:No, I never aim for anything.

30:32James Buckley:No.

30:33Clair Buckley:And I've never set any goals in my life.

30:35James Buckley:Also, I'm not the problem.

30:36Clair Buckley:You're just building yourself up for disappointment.

30:39James Buckley:Same me. New you.

30:43Clair Buckley:Folding a fitted sheet properly.

30:45James Buckley:Oh, that's impossible. And I have really tried sometimes. Sometimes if I'm in the mood and I've got a bit of time, I do really try. I lay it out on the floor and I'm like, right, if I tuck that bit and that bit, it's a shit show.

30:58Clair Buckley:Yeah, it just doesn't end up looking at you. Finding the end of the sellotape. I have to get you to do that for me constantly.

31:04James Buckley:Yeah, I'm all right at that.

31:05Clair Buckley:You have to take the sellotape off of me because I start to have like a tantrum. Yes. I'm like going round the whole thing and then I go round the other way and I go, it's not there. It's not there, Claire. It's not there, Claire. Anyway, leaving the house without having to go back for something. I'm bad at that.

31:19James Buckley:You are terrible at that. You're always going back for stuff.

31:23Clair Buckley:Yeah. Actually cancelling a free trial before the payment kicks in. no I'm good at that I am good at that as well I'm good at that I'm not fucking spending any money because sometimes you need something once

31:33James Buckley:yeah

31:34Clair Buckley:you need something once you've never needed it before there's a specific thing especially like with like apps pictures and stuff or if you wanted to do like an app right yeah yeah do you know what I mean and it's like well I've never had to do this before I'll probably never need to do this again but I need to this app wants me to pay for it and they go oh it's a seven day free trial so I'd use it for what I need to do and then what do you do Absolutely, immediately.

31:58James Buckley:But what do you do?

31:59Clair Buckley:What do I do?

31:59James Buckley:Because I've seen it coming up on our little shared calendar.

32:03Clair Buckley:Oh, yes. So sometimes, no, that's what I used to do with streaming services. Right.

32:09James Buckley:I'll just see, it'll be like, cancel this today.

32:13Clair Buckley:Yeah, I have a reminder come up because I think back in the day, it used to be like, oh, you can get Netflix for 90 days for a fiver or something like that. I was like, yeah, I'll do that. Turns out Netflix is quite good. I kept it in the end that's that then

32:31James Buckley:that's your Buckley's chance

32:32Clair Buckley:the wheels have fallen off

32:34James Buckley:yeah this is over now isn't it

32:36Clair Buckley:we've got a Buckley's chance of this podcast being good is it time for one of our regular features guys well let's do a little transition swipe and I'll tell you what the feature is Claire

32:49James Buckley:good lord James feature

32:53Clair Buckley:it's feature time Claire it's time for one of our regular features it's Petty Revenge Stories. Jingle my balls. What?

33:01James Buckley:Petty Revenge.

33:03Clair Buckley:Petty Revenge. Petty Revenge. Petty Revenge. Ooh, what a lovely little feeling. Let's hear what the listeners are scheming. It's like the Mighty Boosh. Not bad.

33:20James Buckley:Hold on, one more time, one more time.

33:22Clair Buckley:You want to do it again?

33:23James Buckley:Yeah, I want to hear it again. Petty Revenge. Petty revenge.

33:27Clair Buckley:Petty revenge. Petty revenge. What a lovely little feeling. Let's hear what the listeners are scheming. Mm, monomono mystique. Welcome back to Strong. Wow. We've had a petty revenge story. We're just ignoring that? We're just moving on? Okay.

33:47James Buckley:All right, let's do it.

33:48Clair Buckley:We've had a petty revenge story coming from Harry. Just a reminder to you guys, if you've got a petty revenge story or anything that you'd like to get to us in the form of words, you can email us, thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. This is from Harry. Harry. He says, this is a long one, Jesus. He says, hi both. For the last six months, I've been really committed to exacting a petty revenge campaign that I wanted to share.

34:15James Buckley:Wow.

34:16Clair Buckley:A year into our marriage, I discovered that my lovely new wife had been cheating on me with a colleague. A year. we lived together in London and I worked up in Edinburgh during the week after returning home unexpectedly one Wednesday I caught him chilling in my house waiting for her to finish work cutting a very long story short we called it a day after the inevitable anger phase passed I settled into a she did me a favour phase I bought a very large collection of old house keys off of eBay and ordered a load of key rings with if found text me to claim a £20 reward, printed on it alongside both their phone numbers.

34:55Clair Buckley:All in all,£200 well spent. For the next few months on my train journey to and from Edinburgh, I would pop a few keys on a key ring and drop them in my carriage. I reckon I've dropped over 100 in total to ensure a good hit rate. Like little petty revenge postcards for my fellow LNER buddies. the good people of Peterborough, York, Newcastle and the likes to send to both of them every time they found one during their commute. I'm going to be honest, those sentences stopped making sense to me after a while. I've got a good mate who is seeing one of her friends. Oh, no. She's a nine out of ten and he's punching.

35:38Clair Buckley:Nine out of ten. Nine? Nine? What's she messing? Blame it, she's a nine out of ten. So I don't blame him for his treachery. He knows all about it and thinks it's hilarious that it keeps coming up in conversation when it happens again.

35:55James Buckley:Oh, so he's there. He's with a wife quite a lot and he's reporting back.

36:00Clair Buckley:Yeah, he's reporting back. Love it. That it must be me being a petty prick and that some twat from Doncaster won't stop texting both demanding his£20 reward. I've made my point. I've made my point. And so it's time to give it a rest. But I do still have a few left. So every now and then, after a few on the Stellar Express on a Friday, I might treat myself. Great show, guys. Love listening to you both on the long train journeys. Keep up the good work, H.

36:32James Buckley:Wow.

36:33Clair Buckley:Love it. Love the planning. Love the...

36:36James Buckley:Where did he get that idea?

36:38Clair Buckley:Original idea. Yeah. I was going to say, love the originality.

36:41James Buckley:Very original.

36:42Clair Buckley:I mean, that is a proper petty revenge.

36:50Clair Buckley:Guy just typed that.

36:55James Buckley:Rubbish ones. Yeah, this is good.

36:59Clair Buckley:There's planning. There's no actual sort of physical harm or danger coming to anyone.

37:04James Buckley:Yeah, that's what it's missing, to be fair.

37:06Clair Buckley:Oh, I was going to say that's what makes it a perfect petty revenge. Right, right.

37:11James Buckley:Sorry, yeah.

37:12Clair Buckley:Because it is petty. And listen, Harry, it's great that you managed to take something that I can imagine was really fucking traumatic and turned it into and channeled that energy into something so positive.

37:25James Buckley:Yeah. Yeah, well done, Harry. Good for you, mate.

37:29Clair Buckley:I think you are, I think you're going to be all right, Harry.

37:32James Buckley:Yeah, you're going to be just fine.

37:34Clair Buckley:Hey, listen, Claire, we've got to wrap this up, mate. We do. God knows how this podcast is going to sound once it's managed to work its way through the edit mill. That's it for this week's episode of The Buckleys. Thank you very much for listening. Remember that you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you are feeling extra generous, why not go ahead and leave us a review?

38:02Clair Buckley:Five stars. All that is left is for Claire to say...

38:06James Buckley:See you next Thursday. That was it. That was the podcast.

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