⁠Shame on YOU!

19:54Now, this is Welsh as well.

19:56Clair Buckley:There must be something. There must be something. Well, they're just... Refreshing food flavour. The whole country is just full of legends, it turns out. is a proud reminder of James Buckley 1801 to 1883 who as a son of founder Reverend James Buckley established Buckley's ales as part of Welsh beer folklore the good Reverend James Buckley we should probably mention to people who are listening and not watching that we are it's a beer mat we're holding beer mats but they're genuine actual beers and ales I've got Buckley's Best Bitter brewed by Crown Buckley I should have that one in Lallany I'm bitter you are bitter and there's also James Buckley Ale, which is also brewed by Crown Buckley.

20:37That's twice you've tried to say Buckley and twice you've said it right.

20:40Clair Buckley:It's difficult, isn't it, saying your own name? Established in 1767. Imagine that. Oh, so you were there at the beginning then? James Buckley, 1801 to 1883. You just ignored me. Who is son of founder Reverend James Buckley. I just fucking read that, sir. Oh, did you read that out? I wasn't paying attention. Anyway, there's some Buckleys. It's the natural Buckley. If you've got anything to do with Buckley, then... Any more Buckley stuff? Any more Buckley products, let us know. We'll talk about it on a podcast. Maybe we could become mayor, mayors of Buckley. You can do it. I'm fine. I'm all right.

21:17You're all right. You're not fussed. Nah.

21:19Clair Buckley:Shamed, innit you? You're a bit ashamed of the Buckley name, aren't you? Well, me and my fellow Buckleyites will party up in Buckley in North Wales. No, I'll come for a kebab and some beers and stuff. Classic. I'm there for a good time. Whenever there's a kebab involved, Claire's there. Need to do something with Buckley, don't we? Yeah, okay. Let us think about it. I say us. You lot. You lot need to sort something out and tell us when and where. Well, we know where. Well, we know where! Fuck's sake. But the people of Buckley. We hear you. We hear you and we love you. and we'll see you soon. Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands for the super athletic stuff, like running gear for cruising up the trail.

22:08Woo! And the super athletic-ish stuff, like fishing gear for chilling by the creek. Nice cast. Fitness apparel to push for higher reps.

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23:20Clair Buckley:Hey Claire. Yo. Apparently we're running a bit low on content for this episode, Which is why I always tell our dear listeners to email us with any stories that they've got. We've got one here from Jamie. Jamie! And it's off the back of me talking about losing my hair. Have you talked about that? I guess so. I can't actually remember it. But I guess I have. I'm nearly 40. The hair's thinning. You'd never know, Matt. It's fine. But Jamie says, Hi, Buckleys. Thought you might enjoy my story. I'm the same as James. If I were to go bald, I certainly wouldn't look cool or manly. This is what I said, didn't I?

23:57Clair Buckley:I'm not masculine enough to pull off the bald guy look. Right, yeah, I do remember that. I just looked like I was really, really ill. So I decided to get a hair transplant in the UK, not Turkey. Anyway, I walk in on the day of the procedure and meet my surgeon. She was an older lady and wasn't the friendliest. Nothing against women. It felt like she was judging me. For example, I admitted I'd had a few beers days before the surgery, which you're not meant to do. And she tutted and rolled her eyes at me. Oh, God, that's awful. It's a long process. So she told me to pick a film to stick on the TV while she attacked my scalp.

24:38Clair Buckley:Well, I opened a sleeve of DVDs. Wow. Where did you go, Jamie? Where did you go? Some old woman's basement. And a 1989 magazine. I opened a sleeve of DVDs and what's staring back at me, the Inbetweeners movie. Haven't watched it in ages. So picture this. Oh, no. Getting operated on your head by a grumpy, judgy old woman. And just as the film goes on, you remember the first scene is Jay wanking with ham and wearing a fucking mask and snorkel. Made it a bit awkward. I tried my best to talk over it, but she knew. I kept trying to talk over the rude bits, but missed a beat, and at the same moment, the TV seemed to get much louder.

25:29Clair Buckley:The following echoed through the room. There's a fit bird up there who's so wet for me, I can hear the waves breaking in her fanny. I'm going to down this, take her down the beach, and fuck her brains out. Good Lord, was that you that said that? I think so. It sounds like something I would have said in the in-betweeners. The surgeon at that point went over to the TV, turned it off, and didn't say another proper word to me for the remaining three hours. Oh, fucking cheat up, then. I tried to break the silence a few times and just got, hmm, fucking torture. So anyway, hair transplant, will probs be purposefully shite?

26:08Clair Buckley:Do you think she bodged up your hair transplant? and it was definitely the most awkward afternoon of my life. Why did you pick that? Jamie, can we have a little follow-up from you? I'd like to just, I might not read it out on the podcast, but I'd just like to know your thoughts and... And also where you went, so you make sure you don't fucking go there. Yeah, let me know these things, Jamie. Get in touch with all the sort of boring details and maybe some before and after pictures just for my own personal use. I'd appreciate that. But yeah, stick in... Listen, if you don't like the Inbetweeners movie, you're a dickhead as far as I'm concerned.

26:44Of course. I thought the second one was shite.

26:46Clair Buckley:What DVD? That's the one. Well, you weren't complaining. That's the one that paid for everything, Claire. So don't worry about that one. I thought that was your favourite. What DVD would be acceptable in that situation? Would you stick on The Exorcist, obviously? Oh, for me? It seems like a weird set-up. This whole thing sounds really odd. It's a long old procedure and you've got to sit there. It takes hours to stick something on TV while you're getting your... I thought you would be under it, no? No, obviously not, no. I'm sure there's local anaesthetic. I think anything to do with the head. I don't know.

27:27I don't know.

27:28Clair Buckley:I'd probably stick on Backdoor Sluts 3. Okay. Right, Claire. Yo, yo, yo, yo. It's time for Buckley's Law. Let's have the jingle.

27:45Clair Buckley:OK, this is the segment where we... That's the only one I don't hate. This is a segment where we discuss new laws that we will pass when we're in power. Keep your suggestions coming in. When we're mayors of Buckley. When we're mayors of Buckley. You can email thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. I've got a quick Buckley's Law for you, Claire. Go on. One of our favourite YouTube channels to watch as a family. We all like to sit down and watch. It's a little channel called Cartnarks. Love it. It's a lot of fun. It's really good. And it's a bloke that busts people for not taking their trolley back to the designated area.

28:28Clair Buckley:They just leave it out in the car park and stuff. American guy goes all over America, doesn't he? He does, yeah. He's been to the UK as well. Has he? Yeah, he's done like a UK special. I always put my trolley back. I always put my trolley back because it's just what has to be done. No one likes doing it. No. It's annoying. It's annoying, especially if you're parked far away. Well, here's what I like to do, Claire. Park next to it. I don't park next to it. That's dangerous for the car. Because then you're going to get a trolley in. But I park near it. Even if that means I'm slightly further away from the supermarket, I'd rather at the end just have a little trip to get my trolley back.

29:07Clair Buckley:But I am, but I am, I do always put my shopping trolley back, not because I'm a great guy, not because I think, well, it is, you know, it is just the done thing, it is what should be done. Yeah. Because I am a lazy bastard. I do it out of fear of being shamed for leaving my trolley. Right. And that's how, there should be more of this in the world. Shame them. Yeah, people don't feel shame these days, do they? Shame them. The amount of times where you're driving down and there's cars parked on each side and you see a space, you go oh great you go to turn in there's a fucking trolley in the middle there this is what I'm telling you about Claire this whole attitude horrendous lazy you know I am me take me for you know warts and all take me for if you've got a problem with me that's your problem that's not a good attitude to have at all whatsoever yeah but that's not those people you should feel ashamed sometimes yeah of the stuff that you do so that then you go oh I better be a better person from now on we should do our own one then just shout like if you see somebody leaving their trolley just shout shame shame on you shame on you we'll do that yeah and if you see anybody leaving their trolley do that that's the type of thing that they'd shout in the house of lords or or in the commons or whatever you ever watch parliament tv is that still a thing is that still on tv all these sort of posh people going shame on you They do, they make that noise as well Yeah, they fall asleep on the benches Oh great, yeah Really on top of it I put it to the honourable Prime Minister Why is he still letting this happen?

30:52Clair Buckley:That's it, that's who's running the fucking country We can do that

30:58It's got progressively worse every day you've got it

31:01Clair Buckley:Maybe he should go to Specsavers.

31:08Clair Buckley:That's a good impression. You've got to watch Parliament TV. I'm on it. I'm on it. But yeah, shopping trolleys. You people who leave your shopping trolleys just out in the car park, your days are numbered. Yeah, you don't know. Once we're in power, you're getting fined. Possibly prison sentence. Possibly death. Because I'll be getting the death penalty back. That'll straighten people up. Oh. Even for the minor, minor stuff. For the shopping trolley. Really minor stuff. If you... And we'll day it with a shopping trolley. We'll beat you to death with a trolley. That's what it is. Whatever you day, we're daying it to you.

31:45Clair Buckley:We'll slam two shopping trolleys into you. Or... I said an eye for an eye. Or tie you to four shopping trolleys. We'll all just poo it. Yeah. Right. I've got a suggestion here from Kevin. It says here... Kevin. Oh, you know it. Scottish people don't know that. Well, not just Scottish people. Aye, but you just don't get it. Go on. This is health and safety. He says, I think health and safety should be outlawed. Right, hang on, Kevin. You're losing me here, mate. You just wanted to tie somebody to four shopping trolleys and pull their lums off? That's punishment. Oh, right. That's punishment. And it will be done in a safe way.

32:25Clair Buckley:People will be trained. Why is training now required to use a ladder or lift? Oh, I get, I strip, common sense stuff. Just, right, you got me back, Kevin. I was just talking, I was just talking about this on the way in. The world's gone mad, Claire. And signage everywhere, caution, hot water, floor slippery when wet, danger, high voltage. He says nothing against stupid people or women. No, he doesn't say that. Hey! He doesn't say that. Watch yourself here if we fucking flourish our own. Nothing against women. I always say that, nothing against women. I love women they're great but if you need to be told not to lick a live wire then maybe we should stop fighting natural selection you and Kevin are going for a beer aren't you right Kevin mate you're going to be a part of the set up somehow you're going to be on the bench going because here's a conversation that me and Claire had literally about 45 minutes ago where I listened to the, we all Mind the Gap.

33:33Clair Buckley:We all remember that, don't we? We all love it. Mind the Gap. You remember that? On the tube. On the tube, sure. It's not Mind the Gap anymore. It's now Mind the Gap between the train and the platform. Now we need to start telling people where the fucking gap is. Mind the Gap wasn't enough. People were still falling in the gap. so it's like mind the gap between the train and the platform you see when you come off they're back to overhaul and you know what Kevin what did you say if those people here's what I said if those people slip through the gap and get squashed then maybe it was a good thing natural selection while we're trying to protect them all

34:22yes

34:23Clair Buckley:yes Kevin I see what you're saying though However I do think that health and safety is important But obviously your own health You need to be accountable for your own health and safety It's the common sense stuff And I remember when I started working in a factory When I was about 18 And we spent a whole afternoon on how to lift a box Now fair enough I get that you can hurt your back If it's heavy and stuff So just you say you know Bend the knees, keep the back straight Do it like that That's it a whole fucking afternoon of all those stupid little things. It makes you feel like an idiot, doesn't it?

34:58I get it.

34:59Clair Buckley:I get offended. I get offended by that. I had a similar thing. But you have to do it. It's a health and safety day. I had a similar thing. I started making a TV show in America. They're big on health and safety, aren't they? Well, the Me Too thing had just come out. Right. And I had to have a whole afternoon being told not to touch women inappropriately. And I was like, I know. They hate it. Is that going in? That's not my goal But I did I had to spend a whole afternoon But again It's just It's normal It's common sense It is common sense Yeah Yes And I was genuinely offended I was like I'm not being funny I really I don't need to be here I know I like to joke about it But I don't need to be told Not to you know Comment on Finger a woman As she walks past you I think that's a bit far I don't think anybody's doing that Well You've not been to Hollywood baby Jesus JP in Australia's here He says, hi team, first time emailer, long time listener I don't think that's how he would say it He says, twats who say this on the radio Our social media should definitely be sent to live away from everyone else Instant ban Well the irony there, JP from Australia Is that we did used to send those people to Australia And we've run out of places to send people now You getting too political for me again No, I love that, first time caller, long time listener I love that, when people call into a radio show Yeah, I don't mind that I don't mind that.

36:23I thought that's how he was just opening his email.

36:25Clair Buckley:He did open it there. Right. And then he said... He hates it. Twats who say this on the radio should be sent to live away from everyone else. Right, okay. Yeah, it's called Australia. Kieran. Kieran. The subject of his message is icky-picky. Here we go. Sorry, just burping. He says, I felt compelled to email in about how much hatred and vulgarity I have for the term photo dump. Yeah. OK, yeah. I often see people post holiday dumps. Yeah. And although it's a collection of lovely holiday pictures, I can't help but mentally replace them with just a massive, grotesque shit in a toilet. Can we ban the term, please, Buckleys?

37:13Clair Buckley:Kieran, you're absolutely correct. In fact, Adam and Joe, when they were on the radio, they used to do a thing of sort of nice, pleasant things that sound gross. And holiday dump. Photo dump, yeah. Photo dump. Yeah, that would definitely fall into that. Yeah, he's right. Yeah. So that's getting banned. Just taking a big holiday dump. That takes us back to Barbados. You want to go into that, do you? No. Because that's you. That's a Claire anecdote, that is. no I don't know what I'm about you won't be getting people going oh she's so beautiful she's so hot in the comments anymore we talk about that story they'll be going you want to talk about your holiday dump I think we've covered it I think people get the gist okay coming out the top right Kevin's health and safety we're banning that for common sense there's got to be some sort of line here no health and safety is important aye but what he's You're responsible for your health and safety.

38:17Fine. Right.

38:18Clair Buckley:All right. The four and then. First time you mail out. Like the thing, the slippery when wet thing, right? I don't run through supermarkets. No. I walk naturally at a pace where if something was maybe to be slippery, that I'd be able to go, oh, all right, we're okay. Unless you're fucking walking around like a lunatic. Like these things you just got to naturally be ready for. Anyway, you shouldn't have to have a sign telling you. if you walk too quickly on a shiny floor there might be a part of it that's slippery and you might fall over I don't mind them what if somebody spilled a load of oil or something it happens yeah so I don't mind the wee slippery floor sign yeah but that's if they've cleaned it but somebody might have dropped a jar of pickles and then there's a jar of pickles all over the floor and if you're just like going at a pace that might be dangerous.

39:15All right, fine. All right, fine. Let's do it. Let's do it. Let's do it. Right, and then photo dump. We're banning that. And also, if you fall. I tried, guys. I'm trying to end it.

39:23Clair Buckley:No, but if you still fall over and there's a sign. Then it is. But that's what they need to do. The supermarkets are covering themselves. I would be embarrassed. If I slipped over and broke my ankle in a supermarket and they came to me and went, oh, God, are you going to sue us now? I'd go, no. no don't tell anybody you don't say anything I won't say anything I don't want anyone to know about this at all whatsoever I mean phone's an accident I don't think anybody means to date as an adult what if it's a win there's a great big bracket of age right between earliest and oldest there's a whole there's fucking decades there where you should be able to walk properly yeah okay fine All right.

40:11Clair Buckley:Fine. Kevin, you're in. JP, first time caller, long time listener. No, I love that. I love it when people say that. So, sorry. And Kieran, yeah, photo dump. Yeah, we'll get rid of that. Yeah. We'll get rid of that. Hey, listen, Claire. Yeah. I've run out of energy. So, let's just call it a day, shall we? I thought it was never going to happen. Let's just call it a day. Thank you very much for listening or watching, whatever. Remember, you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok.

40:45Clair Buckley:And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you are feeling... If you're feeling sexy, if you're a bit turned on, then why not leave us a five-star review? All that is left is for Claire to say... See you next Thursday. See you next Thursday, guys. Thanks for listening. That was a podcast for all the shakes.

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