This Should Be Illegal

19:17Oh, we have a segue, do we? Where? Speaking of quark cheese, and there's absolutely no good way to link this, let's talk about the 90s as we've had some listeners get in touch with some of their favourite bits about that golden era. Right. Whenever we talk about the 90s, does that just mean that you couldn't think of anything for us to talk about? So you hope that James goes off on a tangent?

19:38The Buckleys:Maybe. Yeah. Well, I actually want to talk a little bit about the 80s today because I was all tired. I was all bored. Well, you can't. It's about the 90s. I know, but I was all tired and annoyed because I've got to come and do this and stuff and I can't be arsed. And they had absolute 80s in the taxi, didn't they? Did, yeah, they did. Fucking loved it. They did. Yeah, you were singing along. I was singing along, wasn't I? Yeah, it was really weird. To cut a long story short, I lost my mind. That's a good impression, by the way. Hadley. Stephen? Tony. What's that? But I was just thinking, and then another 80s song come on.

20:17The Buckleys:Funnily enough, it was absolute 80s. And I was just thinking, oh, no fun. No fun and uplifting the 80s songs. 90s, very cool. Yeah. Very cool. Grungy. Yeah, very grunge, Brit pop, very cool. Very like, fucking have a beer, have a good haircut. 80s, just fucking, woo-hoo! I'm not into 80s music. There's not a lot of 80s music I like. I don't know how you can not like 80s music. Too much synth everywhere. I love it. I don't mind a bit of synth, man. Too much. A bit of Yang Hammer. I don't mind it. Anyway, what was Sarah saying? Oh, Sarah's here. Sarah, and she is from Brighton. Sarah says... I love Brighton.

20:58I love going to Brighton. It's one of my favourite places. A little special place for me. Love the 90s chat. It reminded me of when you'd open a bag of Walkers

21:06The Buckleys:and occasionally win a fiver. Oh, yeah, I remember that. I haven't thought about that. In a little packet. Yeah. It was like a little blue packet, wasn't it? It was like a Johnny. Yeah. I remember a mate of mine got one at school. We were like, fucking yeah. Yeah. I thought she was going to say, it reminds me of when you used to open a crisp packet and there was actually full with crisps. Oh, oh, Claire. Hey, hey. Oh, Claire's gone political. I'm just saying. There's like that much crisps in that much bag. Shrinkflation. Yeah. Jude's obsessed with that he is yeah he is I hate it he always opens up a package he's like shrinkflation mate yeah you'd get a fiver in it yeah sprints of your parents like you just won the lottery I used to love those salt crisps the shakers yeah where you had to do it yourself Walker's shakers I used to love that I don't know why things like that were so fun it's because we had nothing else winning a fiver though winning the fiver as a kid that's it if I was Sarah's parent and she was a little kid that just won a fiver out of her walkers, I'd have maybe have ruined it for her.

22:16Why? Because I would have gone, this is as good as it gets.

22:22The Buckleys:You will never feel this happy ever again. Okay, fair enough. And that's true. Is it? When the magic, the magic of finding a fiver in your packet of crisps while you're in the playground at school. I've bossed you two children. And they're great. But I wouldn't be like pumping my fists and stuff Running around going, I've got that Okay, fair enough To be fair Claire, and listen, having kids is great There is better stuff, isn't there? Oh yeah Exactly Like if you ask a footballer, a footballer scoring a goal And they fucking slide along the grass They're not doing that when they're having kids lifting their shirt off swinging it about jumping into a crowd look they're not doing that once they've had children no maybe not maybe not overrated maybe maybe yeah overrated yeah got a message from Stephen as well from Raynham Raynham Essex or Raynham Kent that's what I'd like to know I went to school in Raynham me and my mate's hustle was perching a CD putting it on the PC and then burning it onto a blank disc then returning the album for a refund I had a CD burner.

23:36Did you? Yeah. I didn't. Yeah, I had a CD burner and I had a chipped PlayStation. I've already spoken about this. My brother had a chipped PlayStation. But I didn't know I'd had a chipped PlayStation. My PlayStation one was second hand. And I'm sure I've already spoken about this, but my mate had a chipped PlayStation and he left one of his fake games at my house once. And I was just like, oh, I'll just see if it works. And I put it on and it fucking worked. God. And then I was like borrowing games from everyone, copying them, giving them back. I do remember the fake DVDs went about. Oh, yeah.

24:14They were in little thin cases, weren't they? Where they were printed off. Yeah, yeah. Like just printed off somebody's computer. Is it? Well, funds terrorism. It does, yeah. Funds terrorism. The FBI thing comes up at the beginning of the film. That's what... What a rush that was. I had a couple of mates. When they used to come round in the pub with a big bag and they'd be like, do you want a DVD? Do you want a DVD? and they'd be like, well, hang on, mate, no, that funds terrorism. I'm like, I don't think they're... I don't think they're funding terrorism. Oh, they're buying... Once you give them a five of that, they're going to the bar?

24:46Yeah, I don't think it's going to terrorism.

24:51The Buckleys:Oh, yeah, that you wouldn't steal a car. Oh, yeah, that is what it seems. That logic is so stupid. That advert...

25:04The Buckleys:you wouldn't steal a car, you wouldn't steal a handbag. Yeah. Like all that. That was like when your teacher was like, when you did something, you're like, well, everyone else was doing it. Well, if they jumped off a cliff, would you do it? No, no, of course, no, I wouldn't do that. There's got to be something in between, you know, drawing, graffitiing on my book. Yeah. Drawing what? Cocks. Yes, of course, of course. Jeff says here, fully with you on the 90s nostalgia. Remember the Zig and Zag Golden Wonder giveaway? Every pack won... We were obsessed with crisps in the 90s, weren't we? Every pack won something.

25:42The Buckleys:Fluff, paperclips, even a Walkman. And the tango ads. Yeah, they got banned. Because people kept... We kept running around. You got it in everybody's face. No, that was it. We ran around the playground slapping each other around the face, going, you've been tangoed. Yeah. It's not a great game, is it? No. Chris is with us. Chris says, me and my mates used to go ghost hunting after school. Oh, nerds. We'd wait until it was dark and go to a random spooky place, usually a dark bike path, and pull out our two megapixel camera phones in the hope of catching the ghost on film. It usually ended up with us running away in terror at the first hint of a rustle in the bushes.

26:22We're still virgins. Great times, Chris. Yes. He might have wanted to try a cemetery. Don't know if there's a lot of activity on the bike path. There might have been. There might have been. Right, how do you say this name? Lan slash Ian is here. It says, older 90s kid here. My nostalgia hits were a draw overflowing with takeaway menus. We've still got that. Not really, no. We used to. It's only recently. Yeah, no, we don't. Recording films off the telly and praying you paused unpaused perfectly. Yeah, if you're really trying to get cut out the adverts And flicking through CDs in a proper music shop

27:03The Buckleys:I used to bloody love You go to Oxford Street, Claire What? Oh, sorry, am I boring you? Am I boring you? Sorry about that But you go to Oxford Street There was the great big HMV And then at the other end Towards Tottenham Court Road There was the great big Virgin Megastore And it was brilliant And they even had a music instrument shop in the basement of Virgin. You know, my brown Epiphone that's up in the office, that's where I got that from. When? When I was about 16 or something. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I think it was about 300 quid, 350 quid. And I had to buy it on tick. I think it was like£7 a month or something I was spending on it.

27:50And I was like panicking about this fucking£7 a month I had to find every month. Is that when you were working in Matalan? No. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, it was. Yeah. Wow. Good times, eh? Good times.

28:01The Buckleys:And that's why you can't begrudge me if I get a free cardigan once in a while. I have been poor. I have done it. Poor or poor? Poor. Like, really poor. Like, fucking scarily poor. You're not scarily poor, James. Oh, yeah. James likes to exaggerate his upbringing sometimes. I was fucking, I was in the chimneys. You said he had like holes in his shoes and stuff. I did have holes in my shoes. Your mum said you were talking shit. You never had holes in your shoes. I did have holes in my shoes. Of course I did. I had two pairs of shoes. I'd have a good pair of trainers and they'd eventually become a bad pair of trainers.

28:39Yeah.

28:39The Buckleys:Once I got a new good pair of trainers. Yeah. That's how we all lived. Right. You'd one jacket, two pair of shoes. But I'd get a pair of shoes every couple of years. Yeah. Right. Okay. You know how fucking quickly you grow when you're a kid. That's why your toes are all scrunched up. That's why that is. I saw a funny thing the other day there, and it was a guy talking about when he was younger, and it was like, kids now have got like three or four jackets. It was like, when we were kids, we had one jacket. It was like in the panic of having to choose the colour of that jacket, because you were going to have it for the next three or four years.

29:20No, no, no. And it was like, am I going to be the red guy walking down the street for the next few winters?

29:26The Buckleys:I didn't get a choice of the colour. Oh, my God. Because you had one jacket, you had one coat. Yeah. You were allowed one coat. You had winter coat, yeah. And the school said it has to be a black coat. So that was it. What, even at secondary? Yeah. Oh, no, we could wear what we wanted. No, we had to wear a black coat. I got a long leather trench coat one. Oh, I like the Matrix. Yeah. Yeah, my mate got one of those. I've told you about that, haven't I? No. My mate got a long leather Matrix coat, right? And he was well proud of it. I was very proud of it, mate. And we were on the street corner waiting for him to come and we just saw him.

30:01He was the last one to turn up. We just saw him coming above the horizon. He was like a dot on the street. And we were like, oh, he's got that fucking coat on.

30:10The Buckleys:And we all just started laughing. And he never got any closer. He just turned around and walked back again. We never actually got to see it That's mean Hey, here's what it is Carol's got a question for us Carol Carol says, hi James and Claire I always ask my mates this And now I need your answers Because I think it says everything you need to know about a person The scenario is You've been out drinking You're a bit tipsy You've completely missed dinner And it's too late for any real food but the local corner shop is still open on your stumble home. What three very specific items are you buying to sort yourself out?

30:55Pot noodle, packet of crisps. Yeah, pot noodle, crisps and chocolate. I'd go pot noodle and two packet crisps. No, so I'll go chicken and mushroom pot noodle, king size. Either that or Bombay for me. King size chicken noodle, Flaming Hot Monster Munch and a ripple. Nice, I do love a ripple. So what does that tell you about us then? We need to wait. We need to wait for Carol to get back to us. Carol needs to get back to us. She says, can't wait to judge you both. So let us know if we pass the test. We all have that dream trip we've been wishing we could go on. But too often, life, or usually price, gets in the way.

31:35That's why Priceline is here to help you turn your dream trip into reality. With up to 60 % off hotels and up to 50 % off flights, you can book everything you need for your next adventure. Don't just dream about that next trip. Book it with Priceline. Download the Priceline app or visit Priceline.com and book your next trip today. Go to your happy price. Priceline. On December 12th, Disney Plus invites you to go behind the scenes with Taylor Swift in an exclusive six-episode docuseries. I wanted to give something to the fans that they didn't expect. The only thing left is to close the book. The end of an era.

32:14and don't miss Taylor Swift The Era's Tour the final show featuring for the first time the Tortured Poets Department streaming December 12th only on Disney Plus There's nothing like your first Mac Here's what people online are sharing At Dr. Rain says Everything is just so smooth and fast I still can't get over it Sinking stuff between my phone and this is just chef's kiss at MrIncredible488 says Apple Silicon basically cures low battery trauma that's how they felt with their first Mac how will you? introducing the all new MacBook Neo an amazing Mac at a surprising price find out more on apple.com slash Mac Claire yes James I do have another little message for you for me?

33:02it's from Dave to the both of us Dave says I'm in my late 30s now not well I'm hungover Dave says, I'm in my late 30s now, so nostalgia chats have unlocked a memory I probably should have left buried. Oh, yes. Come on. When I was a teenager, any time my parents went away, we'd have the lads round for drinking games. Our favourite was Ring of Fire. And we kept adding stupid rules until we invented what we thought was our masterpiece, the Stair Lift Shot Challenge. My nan lived with us at the time and my parents had a stair lift installed. Wow. So we lined up shots on every step. Whoever pulled the card had to ride the stairlift and down them one by one.

33:44Try and get them going up. So one of my mates is halfway up. He's neither up or down. Turns green and chunders everywhere, all over the stairs, all over the chair. And then the stairlift jams solid in the middle of the staircase. Cue five teenage boys panic cleaning at 2am with kitchen roll, Febreze and desperation. Next morning I had to explain to my parents why Nan's stair lift was broken and why it smelled like a nightclub carpet. Dave. I didn't play drinking games. I just drank. Yeah. I just drank. I remember one specific one and he got in trouble for it actually. It was Jack. I'm meeting him after this.

34:24It's his birthday. Happy birthday, Jack. Jack Shalhoub. You've got a weird name. And you're ginger. and we were all, well how old were we? 14, 15, his parents went away we all went to his and everyone brought some drinks around and stuff BYOB BYOB and then it was like what are we doing for food and this was the first time I'd heard about this I know it's a thing these days but they were like oh they do a kebab pizza at the local takeaway I was like a kebab pizza? I've not had one of those before it was the size of a fucking lorry wheel. Right. I ate the whole thing. Yeah. Oh, you? That's what you ordered by yourself?

35:06Yeah, that's what I ordered, yeah. Wow. Yeah. And I ate the whole thing. I think we all had a pizza each because if you order enough, it's like a pound of pizza or something. Right. It wasn't like your Domino's or your pizza. No, I know, no. So I got this kebab pizza. God, it's making me hungry. I ate the whole thing. And it was, it was like, it was big. It must have been... 18 inch? 16 it must have been a foot and a half diameter that's not how you measure fucking pizzas you laughed at me that inches is how you do it

35:37The Buckleys:no I think it was a I think it might have been a 20 something inch right big old big boy so I I ate all that and had drink and was a kid yeah went out to his garden and just threw up and the puddle was the size of the pizza that I had that's what I remember thinking about it and I'm going well it's the exact size wow when you puke too early and it's your food hasn't even digested yet and you just got whole chips coming back up I'll tell you another funny thing about that night I've just remembered it I think I've told you this before Jack was like yeah lads come round got a porno wow got a VHS got a porno and we were like alright come on then right before you tell this story right I have to just say this because like when we hung about like when I was young the boys did that as well obviously we weren't there I just find that so weird that there's a group of boys together sitting in a room all getting turned on together I mean it's odd it's fucking weird is it weird or is it completely natural I well are you kink shaming Claire no you shouldn't do that no but no it was like don't say the way you said that made me sound as if I'm really kinky.

36:57Anyway, we all went,

37:00The Buckleys:he was like, lads, got a porno. All right, great. Got the video out, like held up. We were like, weee! Put in the video, he'd just recorded some Channel 5 shit. Oh, yeah. There was just like a glimpse of nipple every once in a while and everyone was going, Jack, this is, he was like, what? What? This is porno, isn't it? We're going, no, it's not. no it's not where's the animals okay you know

37:30The Buckleys:we came here for some freaky shit I remember Channel 5 stuff yeah oh it was great yeah Channel 5 but I told you that I've told the story a couple of times haven't I I don't know if you've told it on the podcast have I not I don't think so I was staying at my nan's one weekend Saturday night just me and her in the living room watching TV on a Saturday evening rock and roll What age were you? I think I was about 17 Honestly And it got to the point where it switches over It was like And now it's time now for the erotic thriller of the evening And I was sat there with my nan And I looked over at her And she's fallen asleep And she's got the remote And I was like she's going to wake up in a minute And I was like Oh no And all the music comes on like all this.

38:23The Buckleys:I just left. I just left the room. I just ran out of the room and went to bed. So your poor old nan would have woke up. Who knows what she, you know. Maybe she looks over and oh, he's gone, thank God. She faked that sleep. Fucking started having a little flick. Okay. Grinding her beans. Grinding her beans. Oh, good Lord. Cheers for that, Dave. Thank you very much. I've never really played a drinking game No we don't really do I feel like it gets in the way Of the drinking So many people are like imagine if you took a shot every time someone said that it would take me longer to do the to get the drink in me I've actually got a drinking game in the cupboard because I'm always like when we have people over and then we start drinking and then you start drinking and then you're like oh we've bypassed the games We forget about the drinking game stuff.

39:20The Buckleys:Yeah, we don't need the game. No, yeah. Yeah, we're not really... But we're not game people. No. We don't get a game at... We do. We love a little board game and stuff. No, I mean, like, adults. We don't have... We play board games with the kids. We don't really do... We played when we went away for the weekend with Jess and Cam, but that wasn't because there was nothing else today. We did Crimes Against Humanity. Cards. Cards Against Humanity. Oh, yeah, Crimes Against... No, we didn't do that. We did Crimes Against Humanity, but then we played board games. That's your kinky stuff that you like to get up to.

39:55Ring of Fire. Players draw cards, each with a rule. Point, drink, nominate until the final king.

40:03The Buckleys:This hasn't explained anything. This hasn't explained anything to me. It's very complicated. It does seem it. That's the problem as well. games are so and then when you've got more than I don't know four people it just gets annoying because then people start having conversations and then I I'll get annoyed because I'm like we're playing a game like everybody concentrate Fuzzy Duck yeah I've heard of that I don't know what it is Beer Pong we've played Beer Pong played Beer Pong yeah Flip Cup that's a good one you have to flip over your cups before everyone else or something oh yeah yeah yeah We did that with beer mats.

40:44Yeah.

40:44The Buckleys:Anyway, thanks for that, Dave. Thank you very much. I hope the stairlift is fixed. I'd love a stairlift. I know you would. You've said this. You also want one of these showers where you can sit down in it. No, they're a bath that you can sit down in. And it slowly brings you up. But then you've just got to sit in a bath and wait for it to fill up. I don't get, yeah. Stanna, get in touch. Let's talk. Let's talk business. Thanks for that, Dave. we'll be back in a second with a little feature. I thought this tasted weird. Oh. I've got non-alcohol. What's the opposite of spiking someone? It's just happened to you?

41:27The Buckleys:I've just, I was drinking my beer there and I was like, this is tasting a bit weird and it's not, I'm not, it's not making me happy. No, no. Zero percent. Zero percent. Zero percent. There we go. Stellar unfiltered. Thank you. Wow. That's a sackable offence, you know. I think they're trying to look out for us. I think that's what's happening. We've been talking about how much we drank over the weekend. I think they're trying to sort of... And I think I've proved some kind of point as well. Because you noticed. Because I was like... Right, we're on a break. We're on a break. Oh, we are on a break.

42:02We'll be back in a sec. Hey, Claire. Yes. It's time for Buckley's Law.

42:16Sounds like one of Jack's videos. This is the segment where we discuss new laws that we will pass once we are in power, once we're President Buckley. Yeah? Well, only one is going to be president. No, we both have to be. Okay. Keep your suggestions of laws coming in. Our email is thebuckleysatplattformmedia.uk or you can message us at the Buckley's Pod on Instagram and TikTok. We've got one here from Amy, brackets and George.

42:45George is in brackets. George knows his place. Hi, Claire and James. Me and my boyfriend, George, have a Buckley's Law. He's from South London and I'm from Eyre. EYR?

42:57The Buckleys:I was born in South London and you're from Eyre. I'm not from Eyre. You're not? Oh, from Eyre, sure. Yeah. Yeah. That's a different... Well, it's there or thereabouts, isn't it? Um, listening to you, to your back and forths on the pod is so familiar. Anyway, can we ban people who wait for traffic lights, but haven't pressed the button? Why are you waiting for me to come along and press it? Oh, right. So you're on the street. Yeah, I've been in this situation. I know what you're talking about. So here's the situation. And I know, and you're going to go, oh yeah, I've done that before. Well, I've got a problem with...

43:30The Buckleys:You go to the Pelican Crossing, right? Okay. There's someone already there. Yeah. So you just join that someone. You're waiting around for a bit. And you're going, fucking hell, these lights are taking ages. Oh, you're on the street. They haven't pressed the button. Right. Got you, got you, got you. And you're like, what are you doing? Got you. Right. So I've got a problem. And this is probably not very, I don't know, people will probably be like, oh, no. I've got a problem with adults using crossings. I really do. I do as well. It really winds me up. See, when I'm in the car and the light goes to red and then it's just some guy like beep, beep, beep, beep and there's some guy walking out and I'm like, you couldn't have figured out how to do that when there was naked.

44:14I know what one you're talking about as well. Come on. What's all of them? But yeah, that one. I'm like, you're an adult.

44:21The Buckleys:I'm the only car on the road. Across the fucking road. I'm the only car on the road and I've had to come to a red light to watch an adult get across the road. I'm like... It bugs the shit out of me. Honestly, I'm this close to jumping out the car and going, come on, I'll hold your hands. I know, yeah, yeah. And this might be sexist, but especially when it's a man. It's usually men, I'll be honest with you. When it's a man by himself and he's standing there and then I stop and he's waiting for the green man and then he walks out and I'm like, you fucking look at you. Yeah. And you can see as well that he's stood there waiting.

44:57The Buckleys:He's already had ages. I'm like driving towards him going, You could have gone about four times. I can see you. I hate it. You just look at, I'm just like, oh, I wouldn't have sex with you. And then do you know what's even worse? When the streets are like that, it's a quiet street. They still press the button, see it's a quiet street, go across the road. And then you get caught. I see them just getting to the other side and then the lights change. Yeah, and I'm like, would you press it for? Yeah, fucking prick. Yeah, yeah. Now, if you've got a child, will you? That's absolutely fine. You teach them that.

45:30You wait for the green man. and you hold a hand, you go. Honestly, especially men, I know that is sexist, but when I see a lone man waiting for the green man to cross the road and I'm in my car and I'm like, ugh.

45:42The Buckleys:Yeah, no, we'll be, Amy. Embarrassing. And George, if you're allowed to listen. We'll be sorting that out. Don't worry, that's going on the list. Yeah. Absolutely. Got another one here from Dave. Davey. He's got a rant. Brilliant. I have a rant and a bill that needs passed. Do we pass bills in the UK? Is that what we do? We will. I will take this to my grave and fight anyone who says otherwise. I will argue. That's not what that means. I will pass my opinion and I will be severely triggered by this. What? Taking it to your grave means you don't tell anybody. Dave needs to calm down. He's not making any sense.

46:20Dave, you're on the zero alcohol beers. Come on. Yeah, man. Right, okay, help me. Go on. People who open their crisp packets upside down. wow I've been angry with myself oh 100 % sometimes I've done it I eat those crisps so fast so I can just get rid of that packet sometimes I've no sometimes I've done it and I eat the crisps and I haven't realised that I've done it and then I go to fold the packet away and I go yeah it's horrible oh god thank god no one saw me yeah it's horrible yeah no I agree with that people who don't care about that stuff

46:54The Buckleys:yeah listen Dave goes on on the near impossible occasion and I opened a packet of crisps upside down, I would be pissed off for the rest of the day. Yeah. He then goes on to say, and wouldn't eat the crisps. Oh, no, I'd still eat the crisps. That's a bit much. I'd still eat the crisps. Anyway, love the poddy, keep up the great work, and don't change for anyone. Many thanks. Dave from Cumbria. I'm going to be honest, this isn't top of the list for me, but I think we might have to get it on the agenda because otherwise Dave's going to... Come after us. Dave's going to come after us. So don't worry, Dave, leave it with us.

47:27We'll get it sorted. Hey, Claire, I don't know about you, but I've got to fucking stop this. We've got to stop. That's it for this week's episode of The Buckleys. Thank you so much for listening. Remember, you can get in touch with your stories and questions by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at The BuckleysPod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget to follow and subscribe to the show on Spotify or whatever podcast app that you like to use. And if you're feeling extra generous, why not go ahead and leave us a review? All that is left is for Claire to say. See you next Thursday.

47:54See you next Thursday. Cheers! Go to Chiefs! Thank you.

48:28one judgment. Anyway, give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. Upfront payment of$45 for three month plan equivalent to$15 per month required. Intro rate first three months only. Then full price plan options available. Taxes and fees extra. See full terms at mintmobile.com. There's a world where legends race across city skylines. Romance blossoms in glittering ballrooms. And there's magic around every corner. it's a world known to many as great britain you've seen the action on screen now visit the real star of the show visit great britain to discover more go to tripadvisor.com great britain