You're Asking For Feet Pics?

4:01Clair Buckley:still boring carry on

4:03James Buckley:I saw something this better be

4:05Clair Buckley:this better be the most exciting thing this better be more

4:07James Buckley:because everything you say is so fucking exciting you're talking about shit this long winded bullshit that you talk about

4:14Clair Buckley:That you saw your shoulder hair out the corner of your eye.

4:17James Buckley:Exactly. Fly's back. Now, so I saw this thing on Instagram.

4:22Clair Buckley:Should we call him Guy?

4:24James Buckley:Oh, little guy's still flying about.

4:26Clair Buckley:Should we call him Guy the Flyer?

4:27James Buckley:Guy the Fly. Guy left, or producer Guy left us, didn't he?

4:33Clair Buckley:Yeah, he just went, I can't do this anymore. You two are unbearable. Yeah. And he just, and we went, yeah, fair enough.

4:41James Buckley:Fair enough. See you later. We gave him a bottle of whiskey and sent him on his way.

4:45Clair Buckley:Yay.

4:45James Buckley:Paige, how long you got left? Go on, you must be getting to the end.

4:50Clair Buckley:I feel like Paige is different. I feel like he'll stick around if you give him a bottle of whiskey.

4:55James Buckley:Right, okay. I think he'll stay longer. Okay. Anyway, I saw this thing on Instagram. I've been decluttering again. Yes. You buy so much stuff. It's fun. Anyway, I saw this thing. Makes me happy. They called it the poop rule, right? Yeah. For personal purposes, we'll call it the shit rule.

5:14Clair Buckley:All right, yeah.

5:15James Buckley:The rule is, when you're clearing stuff out, right, because we are quite bad for keeping stuff. We're both a little bit bad. You're really bad.

5:23Clair Buckley:Everything I've got a memory of.

5:25James Buckley:Yeah, you're quite, you keep it. Oh, no, we can't throw that out, Claire.

5:29Clair Buckley:I just gave...

5:30James Buckley:Harrison was four months old and we went to Brighton that day. I know, yeah, exactly, yeah.

5:34Clair Buckley:I just gave away a fortune's worth of Fred Perry stuff that no longer fits me anymore. You did. But it is all stuff that...

5:42James Buckley:You've got to put this down. Sorry.

5:43Clair Buckley:It is all stuff that you'll never be able to buy again.

5:47James Buckley:Yeah.

5:47Clair Buckley:All like one-off limited edition polo shirt, colourways and things like that.

5:53James Buckley:So this works then, right? So the shit rule is...

5:57Clair Buckley:Gave it to my mate's boy. He's got an online shop. And I said, oh, I've got a couple of things that, you know, that might earn you a couple of hundred quid or something. He couldn't believe his life. And see, that's so nice.

6:07James Buckley:That's what you should do. Right, but here's the rule. when you're pulling stuff out of cupboards and drawers and whatever under your bed and all that, right? If it had a bit of shit on it, like a bit of actual human shit...

6:21Clair Buckley:Oh, would you keep it or throw it?

6:22James Buckley:Would you throw it or would you go, I have to clean that because I really want to keep it?

6:26Clair Buckley:Yeah. But that's everything.

6:29James Buckley:Do you know what I mean? No, but that is everything. No, I threw away so much.

6:32Clair Buckley:That's everything for me.

6:33James Buckley:No, you wouldn't clean actual human feces.

6:37Clair Buckley:No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't clean anything. I'd throw away everything. Oh, right. I'd throw away everything.

6:42James Buckley:Right.

6:43Clair Buckley:A bit of poo's got on something. You're out, mate. You're done.

6:45James Buckley:What if it was a 500 pound jumper? You're gone.

6:48Clair Buckley:You're gone.

6:49James Buckley:Right, see then, there's the... See, so you're just fucking impossible then.

6:54Clair Buckley:I can't have a bit of poo on something.

6:55James Buckley:And you want to keep everything... Yeah, but you can wash it.

6:57Clair Buckley:Claire, and this is going to make me sound really, really bad now and wasteful. I've done it with trainers loads of times.

7:04James Buckley:No, you haven't.

7:05Clair Buckley:I've asked you to clean some a couple of times.

7:07James Buckley:I've cleaned those flip-flops so many times when you would step and dog shit.

7:11Clair Buckley:When was the last time you saw them?

7:12James Buckley:Oh, I did this one.

7:14Clair Buckley:Yeah, even after you cleaned them, I was like, I can't.

7:17James Buckley:See that?

7:18Clair Buckley:Because I wear those with bare feet.

7:20James Buckley:You're so annoying. You wear them with socks all the time.

7:23Clair Buckley:But sometimes I put my bare feet in them. But it's not in the top, it was on the bottom. It's too close, it's too close to home. I bleached them. If poo comes in the house in any way whatsoever and we've got a dog, sometimes a little turd gets in the grass and I don't notice it and I've chucked shoes away because of it that's mental that's really bad especially if I've trod in shit over a field or something when it's not even my dog's shit they're gone

7:48James Buckley:no that's really bad

7:49Clair Buckley:they are gone

7:50James Buckley:well anyway I'm hoping that'll help some people the shit rule if it had a bit of shit on it would you go right well I'm going to chuck it or would you go no I'll clean that because I need it I want it so that's the rule I've been using

8:05Clair Buckley:and it's actually

8:06James Buckley:helped me a lot I'm going to be honest

8:07Clair Buckley:when the boys were in nappies I was like we'll just have to get some new ones

8:11James Buckley:boys?

8:12Clair Buckley:yeah when our kids were in nappies

8:15James Buckley:you weren't you weren't a poo nappy changer I can't do it man I could count on one hand the amount of poo nappies you changed

8:21Clair Buckley:it wasn't because I was being like one of those fucking because I was involved I was involved with the kids growing up and stuff I don't want to be be painted as one of those like dads that work didn't roll their sleeves up or whatever.

8:34James Buckley:No, you did all the fun stuff. You played with them. Yeah, yeah. You didn't do, you didn't, you know.

8:38Clair Buckley:The poo stuff.

8:39James Buckley:I brought them up.

8:40Clair Buckley:Hang on.

8:41James Buckley:No, don't. I don't want to zap him. You don't want me to kill Guy the Flyer? I really don't. I don't like it. No.

8:49Clair Buckley:He's been zapped twice. This is useless. I bet he just gives, I bet it's like a drug or something. Like gives him like a high or something like that.

8:57James Buckley:He's going mental now. No, I don't like it. But the poo,

9:00Clair Buckley:like and obviously there was loads of occasions where I did have to change the nappies there was only because you weren't there if you were there then I wouldn't do it

9:09James Buckley:James you phoned me once in Sainsbury's and asked me how long I was got to be because Harrison had chat and I had to rush back well no

9:15Clair Buckley:only because if you were like 30 seconds up the road I'd be like alright sweet we're all good but if you're more than if you're like a couple of minutes away because by the way we are rubbish at a lot of stuff but you could eat your dinner off of our boys bums

9:27James Buckley:yeah no we kept them very clean they were

9:29Clair Buckley:But they were very, very clean. They didn't, you know, wherever we were, we stopped what we were doing. We made sure they got changed straight away and all that.

9:37James Buckley:Remember that time we went to view a house? Oh, Christ.

9:41Clair Buckley:Harrison shit all up himself in this person's house.

9:44James Buckley:No, it was in the car. And as soon as you know, babies, and it went right up the back. Yeah, it was one of those ones. Like you could see it through the vest, right?

9:51Clair Buckley:Yeah, it over spilled.

9:53James Buckley:And we were going in.

9:55Clair Buckley:His cup runneth over.

9:56James Buckley:We were going in to view a house. and the first thing they opened the door it was the people not even an estate agent and the first thing we had to say was do you have a bathroom we could use because he's just we sort of held him up they were so nice

10:10Clair Buckley:they were so nice

10:11James Buckley:they like put a because they didn't they were older they didn't have any babies or anything

10:15Clair Buckley:no but they'd been through it they'd had kids

10:17James Buckley:but they put like a towel down and obviously weird wet wipes and everything and then you were a bit like we're going to have to buy this fucking house now because he's shut everywhere innit we didn't

10:28Clair Buckley:I kept saying that to every house. Yeah, you did. Anyway. There was something embarrassing that went on. But I do, I would like, when I was changing the boy, if they'd had a shit.

10:38James Buckley:No, I know. I remember. I was like heaving and stuff like that.

10:41Clair Buckley:I can't do poo. I can't do poo and I can't do sick.

10:46James Buckley:Good job we had two babies then, innit? Yeah. Because there was none of that going on.

10:51Clair Buckley:Baby sick's fine because it's just sort of that sort of white watery stuff.

10:55James Buckley:Yeah. But when the boys get sick, if they have a night where they're throwing up, you're nowhere to be seen.

11:00Clair Buckley:I can't do it, man.

11:01James Buckley:Nowhere to be seen. Because I will just throw up as well. Okay.

11:06Clair Buckley:If someone makes that heaving noise that you just did then, it triggers me.

11:11James Buckley:Does it?

11:11Clair Buckley:That's the thing. You're not allowed to argue against that. If something triggers someone, then that's the end of the argument.

11:18James Buckley:Nowhere I'm there.

11:18Clair Buckley:If someone goes, I'm really sorry, I'm being totally unreasonable right now, but it triggers me, you have to go okay you win well done

11:26James Buckley:no that's when you go fuck off

11:28Clair Buckley:no you're not allowed you're not allowed you're not allowed you get cancelled or something

11:32James Buckley:alright cancelled me good don't need to come in here but no yeah that's a good

11:37Clair Buckley:that's an interesting thing yeah the poo rule if something had a bit of shit on it would you save it or would you just chuck it away and if you chuck it away get rid of it do you know what I mean I think I would chuck everything away

11:47James Buckley:but I'm like Seinfeld

11:49Clair Buckley:when it comes to that thing there's an episode in Seinfeld where one of his girlfriends to get back at him says I've put something of yours in the toilet and I'm not going to tell you what it is and he spends the next few days with gloves on just not touching anything just throwing everything out

12:06James Buckley:you are a bit like that though I'm a bit more you and Harrison are like that you've passed that to Harrison he's very he doesn't want to touch anything that anybody else might have done something way or he can't share a drink I'm easy with that stuff I don't care

12:23Clair Buckley:you're so great that you are as well fucking getting a bit of shit on your thumb changing a nappy oh oh it's the worst oh it's awful

12:33James Buckley:well you used to have you used to yeah you're in that case you hated that I don't know whether

12:37Clair Buckley:you should say this publicly because it's fucking weird

12:39James Buckley:no it's a normal mum thing it's a normal mum thing

12:42Clair Buckley:Claire would be like I better make sure

12:43James Buckley:this was only in public if we were in a restaurant or something

12:46Clair Buckley:yeah which sort of makes it even worse a bit Claire would be like oh I think like sometimes you don't know whether they farted or if they've taken a shit. So Claire was like, oh, I don't know whether he's had a shit or not. So he'd like, would lift Harrison up, stick her finger in the nappy. And if there was shit on the end of her finger, then oh yeah, that's it. Like there's got to be, there's got to be another couple of steps before you get to that. Well, you can try and look. Before that's the test.

13:13James Buckley:You can look, but I would do it discreetly. I would just stick my finger in and then if there was shit on my hand, I'd be like, yeah, I need to go and change him.

13:20Clair Buckley:I don't think that's a normal thing.

13:22James Buckley:Remember that time Harrison was constipated, bless him? He was only about six months old.

13:26Clair Buckley:Yeah, you squeezed him like a toothpaste.

13:30James Buckley:He had a big old...

13:31Clair Buckley:You were like squeezing his bum cheeks, like trying to push it out. I had to sort of hook it. Get your finger now in there. This is gross. This is really fucking grim, even by our standards.

13:44James Buckley:Now, the dads will be thinking that. All the mums listening will be going, yeah, what, it was Tuesday. It's fine.

13:51Clair Buckley:I read something on the way in today that made me feel really, really old.

13:57James Buckley:Okay.

13:58Clair Buckley:I was reading about, I can't remember his name, he was a radio broadcaster. He died, he just died at the age of 85. Wow. And had a radio career that spanned five decades.

14:08James Buckley:So I need to know who you're talking about.

14:09Clair Buckley:I can't remember who it was. Well, no, because listen, if it was someone who I knew, I would remember who it was. Okay. Career spanned five decades. Right. 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 2000s. Wow, okay. And then I was like, how many decades has my career spanned? Oh, shit. 90s, 2000s, 2010s, 2020s, 40. So four. Four decades my career spanned. I've got one more decade to catch up with this bloke, and he was 85.

14:41James Buckley:That's good. That shows that you made it when you were young.

14:43Clair Buckley:Yeah.

14:44James Buckley:But on paper, sounds old, doesn't it? Yeah, it does sound old, yeah. Yeah, it does.

14:50Clair Buckley:90s? The 90s I started acting.

14:55Clair Buckley:I'm always banging on about how great the 90s were.

14:57James Buckley:Yeah, but you were 10.

14:58Clair Buckley:I was 11.

15:00James Buckley:11 then?

15:00Clair Buckley:And 12. I'd done a few jobs in the 90s. I was working a lot.

15:05James Buckley:Was that mayonnaise advert? That was when I was most successful.

15:07Clair Buckley:No, that was in the noughties.

15:09James Buckley:Oh, because people love that.

15:10Clair Buckley:I think that was about 2001. That little squirt advert.

15:14James Buckley:Do you remember the line? Do you remember what you said at all?

15:16Clair Buckley:You know the little squirts right or something.

15:18James Buckley:You know the little squirts right. Leave him!

15:21Clair Buckley:What, Guy the Fly? Yes! I've got to leave him. Leave him. He's taking the piss though. He's getting a bit cocky.

15:26James Buckley:Yeah. Well, he deserves it. You look at... Oh, no, he's part of it now. No, he's part of it. I would rather you killed Guy than Guy the Fly. I don't like the animals getting... Are flies animals?

15:40Clair Buckley:No, they're insects.

15:41James Buckley:What, anything? I've hurt my neck.

15:43Clair Buckley:Carry on. You're going to have to... I've got a bad neck.

15:47James Buckley:Is this still going on? And so... Yes. So, have you been to see anybody yet? No. Because you mentioned it last week.

15:53Clair Buckley:I know. I haven't had a chance to, funnily enough, Claire.

15:59James Buckley:Right, what are we talking about? Have you got any fucking moans? Because I've got some big news, if you don't.

16:04Clair Buckley:All right, go for your big news. Let's see your big news.

16:08James Buckley:Big news. Huge. Yeah. Ready?

16:10Clair Buckley:Is it Trump huge? Huge. Huge. Huge.

16:13James Buckley:You know the fake Buckley's Facebook page?

16:16Clair Buckley:Yeah, the one of us, True Love.

16:18James Buckley:and true love conquers all. It's sweat.

16:23Clair Buckley:Oh yes, sweat.

16:24James Buckley:Before I tell you the big news I copied and I took a screenshot of a comment. Let me just read you this. This is one of the reasons I wanted rid of it. That Facebook page posted a photo of me captioned Clare Buckley, Scottish legend. Okay. And, of course, there was a couple of comments, like, that's a bit of an exaggeration.

16:55Clair Buckley:William Wallace, Sean Connery, Claire Buckley.

16:58James Buckley:Yes. That's a bit of an exaggeration. There was, aye, she's funny, but she's not a legend. There was one...

17:08Clair Buckley:I'm a legend, by the way.

17:09James Buckley:There was one comment that said, legends are remembered for thousands of years. Lucky if she'll be remembered in five. She married the guy off the Inbetweeners. Hardly a legend. I, I'd pump her, but she's no a legend.

17:25Clair Buckley:And I also read that message. And do you know what I took from that? I was worried that you were going to leave me for that guy.

17:31James Buckley:Do you know what I took from that?

17:33Clair Buckley:I'd pump you.

17:34James Buckley:He'd pump me.

17:35Clair Buckley:Yeah. Say it. I'm like, well, still fancy me.

17:40James Buckley:That's it. But yes, so the big news.

17:42Clair Buckley:Yeah.

17:43James Buckley:That Facebook page is gone.

17:45Clair Buckley:It's gone. It's finally gone. It's gone. It's finally gone.

17:48James Buckley:Which I kind of feel a little bit bad. Yeah, I know, yeah. I feel bad.

17:52Clair Buckley:After it being a thing that you talk to me about almost every day, you're going, oh, fucking hell, you should see what they've posted now. They're making us a couple of idiots.

18:00James Buckley:Oh, they are. I feel bad.

18:01Clair Buckley:Now it's gone and now you're like, oh, no.

18:04James Buckley:Only because.

18:05Clair Buckley:This is why Guy left. If you were nice to him while he was still around, he might have stayed with us.

18:11James Buckley:Only because.

18:12Clair Buckley:Now, Paige gets it. Yeah, Peej is getting, it did used to be spread between Peej and Guy. Now Peej is just getting 100 % of our Roth.

18:21James Buckley:Roth.

18:22Clair Buckley:Tim Roth.

18:23James Buckley:Only because the person who run it was obviously a listener and liked us and stuff like that. But, yeah, it's got, listen, I'm happy it's gone, but I do, there's a little bit of it feels bad.

18:36Clair Buckley:Well, I've also got news.

18:38James Buckley:Uh-oh.

18:39Clair Buckley:jame buxtagram on tiktok your days are numbered

18:43James Buckley:your white whale my white whale

18:45Clair Buckley:I got rid of mine

18:46James Buckley:I fucking killed my ass what do they call it what do they do to whales spear them yeah

18:50Clair Buckley:yeah gone nice

18:53James Buckley:I'd never do that to a whale I love whales so much

18:55Clair Buckley:buxtagram jame buxtagram jame buxtagram that's what we're talking about aren't we

18:59James Buckley:yeah

19:00Clair Buckley:jame buxtagram

19:01James Buckley:what's he done what's he up to

19:02Clair Buckley:days are numbered are we close are we getting verified on tiktok I think we're going to get verified on tiktok and then and then I can close his sweet ass down.

19:12James Buckley:Oh, really?

19:13Clair Buckley:But I sort of don't want to. Because, again, I don't mind. The page has got a lot of followers. It's got a lot of people. It gets a lot of views. It's just chopping up all...

19:24James Buckley:It's spreading the word.

19:25Clair Buckley:It's just chopping up all our...

19:26James Buckley:Of how hilarious we are.

19:28Clair Buckley:It's all just chopping up our content and editing slightly differently and putting it back out.

19:31James Buckley:It's just the comment. Which is absolutely fine.

19:34Clair Buckley:So, Jane Buxtagram, and I know you're watching, you've got a bit of time to make it clear that you are a fan account because otherwise you're gonna have to go

19:45James Buckley:when somebody says oh you're a legend don't reply saying thank you

19:49Clair Buckley:you're gonna have to go make sure you say this is a fan account and just keep posting people won't give a fuck anyway people probably won't even realise but as long as you do everything you can do to just make it clear that you're a fan account then great because there's been another Jane Buxtagram and I don't know if it's you I don't know if it's the same one it might not be asking for feet pics off of people on Spotify

20:12James Buckley:yeah

20:13Clair Buckley:and I can't be having that I can't be doing it

20:16James Buckley:that's you so some people now listen

20:19Clair Buckley:I don't mind hold on

20:21James Buckley:some people might think on our Spotify account some people might think that you are dipping into the comments and asking people for feet pics yeah yeah right

20:31Clair Buckley:now listen I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm not a bit of a perv sometimes or whatever. I'm not squeaky clean, sure. But if I'm going to get done for it and I'm going to get cancelled for it, I want it to be because of me.

20:43James Buckley:You did it, yeah.

20:44Clair Buckley:Because of some disgusting thing that I've done.

20:47James Buckley:Yeah.

20:47Clair Buckley:I don't want someone else...

20:49James Buckley:Why are you asking for feet pics?

20:50Clair Buckley:No, I'm not into feet. I'm not really a feet guy.

20:52James Buckley:Right, okay. Well, what are you doing then?

20:54Clair Buckley:I like knees. Really into knees. Okay. The backs of knees. Wow. specifically nice

21:05James Buckley:yeah okay

21:06Clair Buckley:but Jane Buxtagram watch yourself because I also don't want to because I've also enjoyed this little tete-a-tete that we've had going on is that French for tit for tat

21:18James Buckley:I don't know mate I don't know I'll let you carry on just put a fan account

21:22Clair Buckley:just put it in the bio fan account and then carry on doing what you're doing and if you're making like money off of it or everything great like if you yeah but I just don't want people thinking you're me that's all okay

21:31James Buckley:yeah

21:32Clair Buckley:that's all that's all I'm going to say

21:33James Buckley:No, your feet pics. Unless you want my feet pics. And if you're rich, if you've got some money to spend, then we can talk.

21:40Clair Buckley:She does, yeah. I've got nice feet.

21:43James Buckley:Oh, we'll talk. We'll talk in private. Ten or a toe? No. God, no.

21:47Clair Buckley:No?

21:47James Buckley:No, for these little piggies. Oh, no, you're talking big bucks. I'm five-star rated on wiki feet.

21:51Clair Buckley:You are, are you?

21:52James Buckley:Yes, I am.

21:54Clair Buckley:I wonder where I'd be.

21:55James Buckley:I've got my backup plan for when this all goes to shit.

21:58Clair Buckley:No, it's my backup plan as well. Hey, Claire.

22:02James Buckley:Yes, mate. What we did? What did we do?

22:05Clair Buckley:I don't know, man. This has gone weird, this one. What we did? It's Guy the Fly. He's putting me off.

22:09James Buckley:He is, yeah.

22:10Clair Buckley:I just want to quickly talk about my Instagram algorithm. Okay, great. I like to talk about this. Oh, yeah, but I've done that for a while. I've done it for a bit. So, obviously, you watch a video on Instagram. You watch one video on Instagram and then Instagram goes, oh, we'll give you more of those type of videos. Yeah. So, I watched a thing on Instagram the other day and I was talking to you about this. I actually mentioned it when we went out for dinner the other night and it's just coming up constantly on my Instagram at the moment. It's the Indian-Pakistan border and the soldiers that guard it.

22:39James Buckley:Patrol?

22:39Clair Buckley:That patrol it, right? Have you seen this? This goes back years and years and years. It's become this tradition now. And they do this sort of show. I wouldn't call it a show of force. I'd call it sort of peacocking. But they have these soldiers that can kick their legs like right up behind their heads. And they both stand in front of each other. Like there'll be a line where the country, there's no wall or anything. There's like a line. Separate. Yeah, in the ground. And the Pakistan and the Indian soldier will be there. And they'll both be like, oh, just kick the microphone. They'll both be like booting their legs like well up above their head.

23:16Clair Buckley:And they do this sort of like strutting about.

23:17James Buckley:So there's videos of this.

23:19Clair Buckley:Yeah, look, here it is.

23:20James Buckley:Oh, oh. Oh, wow. That's not that high.

23:25Clair Buckley:No, that's, yeah, that isn't that high. I've seen it. They could kick their own ears.

23:30James Buckley:Yeah, well, hey, don't talk to me about that. When I was Irish dancing, it was straight up when you did that.

23:36Clair Buckley:Got to find some footage of that.

23:37James Buckley:Okay, all right, okay.

23:39Clair Buckley:But I can't remember what it's called. It's some tradition, something beginning with W or something like that. But it's fascinating.

23:45James Buckley:You get the weirdest, how did you come across that though?

23:49Clair Buckley:It came up once, and then I watched it all the way through.

23:54James Buckley:The algorithm all feeds into each other. like you get such strange stuff coming up and I have seen a lot of knees

24:04Clair Buckley:and this is the only the stuff I can talk about on the podcast

24:07James Buckley:exactly yeah exactly

24:10Clair Buckley:but it's absolutely brilliant

24:11James Buckley:oh here we go I think you've got some information here

24:13Clair Buckley:have we? that's it the Wagga border that is true that's right

24:19James Buckley:oh no hold on though it's only that I think this is like an occasion though no I feel like they do it every day No, they don't do it every day. I feel like it's like half twelve every afternoon.

24:29Clair Buckley:They start doing that.

24:30James Buckley:No, they don't. Look, every day thousands of patriots and some tourists travel from far and beyond to the border located between... Amritsar and Lahore.

24:43Clair Buckley:The main attraction is watching the soldiers as they battle it out so you can show the most aggressive pose of all. Yeah, every day. They do it every day. They do it every single day. Oh, every day? Yeah, yeah.

24:53James Buckley:Oh, God, yeah, I read that wrong. As weird as it sounds, but they raised this to an art form on its own. Wow, okay.

25:02Clair Buckley:Each soldier gets a turn to break out of the group and aggressively speed towards the gate. On the way, each one kicks up his right leg well above the head and viciously hits the ground with the metal heel. The group gets back together and engages with its Pakistani counterparts in a professional death stare competition while fist pumping both arms way up in the air. Yeah, they do all this and stuff.

25:29James Buckley:I mean, this is like...

25:30Clair Buckley:The crowd explodes. People absolutely love it.

25:32James Buckley:This sounds like a musical. It is very... Like, it's like West End Story when they have like a dance fight. Like, nothing's going to... Come on, nothing's going to happen.

25:41Clair Buckley:But there's just something sort of...

25:44James Buckley:You quite like it, don't you? Yeah, yeah. Well, you're all about the showmanship in here. Well, it's tradition.

25:49Clair Buckley:It's become a tourist attraction. there's something nice about country disputes

25:55James Buckley:a rivalry becoming more of a tradition in a show I like it

26:02Clair Buckley:it's less violent obviously but I've been getting I go through my Instagram that's all I get hey should we do a little swipe and drink some beer and come back because we've got some emails from some listeners

26:16James Buckley:and I think they're moaning about us? No, not about us. I'm with us.

26:21Clair Buckley:All right, that's good.

26:22James Buckley:Okay.

26:24Clair Buckley:Okay. January progress report. Last week, I said I'd started using NutriCheck. Good news. It's still going well. Bad news. Claire now thinks I've been replaced by a clone.

26:35James Buckley:Well, it's not very you, is it? I mean, we have actually been sticking to something healthy. I've seen you scanning the barcodes and planning out your meals.

26:44Clair Buckley:I've added a widget to my phone.

26:47James Buckley:Oh, okay. You can add a widget.

26:48Clair Buckley:So I'll just swipe to the right, Bosh, get straight into my NutriCheck.

26:51James Buckley:Well, as long as that's all you're getting into.

26:53Clair Buckley:Take some barcodes. It is the app. It is the app, Claire. Claire. It is the app, Claire. It keeps things simple. And we all know I like to keep things simple. I can see how my day is shaping up. I can make food swaps that aren't ridiculous. And it still lets me keep my weekly takeaway and beers in the mix. That's true. That is true. You can add a cheat day. because actually what I do like to do is I like to plan my meals ahead and write in what I'm going to be eating that day.

27:24James Buckley:Working towards. Right, got you.

27:25Clair Buckley:And then I can go, oh, I could take that out and then I could add this.

27:29James Buckley:Add the onion badgies back in. Got you. So if you are trying anything vaguely healthy in January, you need all the help you can get.

27:37Clair Buckley:Absolutely. So if you want to give it a go, just search Nutricheck, N-U-T-R-A-C-H-E-C-K in your phone's app store and you even get a free seven-day trial so you can see how it fits into your routine. It is really good.

27:53James Buckley:It is. And if James can stick to it this long, then so can anybody.

27:59Clair Buckley:We're leaving today and entering a world of Mickey Mouse waving, princess meeting and greeting, lightsaber clashing, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror dropping, banshee flying, Space Mountain launching, galaxy rewinding what is the whole that looks galaxy rewinding fireworks igniting

28:20James Buckley:world of other worlds for whatever you love infinite worlds await at the most magical place on earth Walt Disney World Resort

28:29Clair Buckley:score more with the college branded Venmo debit card and earn up to 5 % cash back with Venmo Stash got paid back? with the Venmo debit card you can instantly access your balance and spend on what you want like game day snacks gear, tickets and more the more you do the more cash back you can earn. Plus, there's no monthly fee or minimum balance. Sign up now at Venmo.com slash college card. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA. Select schools available. Venmo stash terms and exclusions apply at Venmo.me slash stash terms. Max$100 cash back per month. Sophie has messaged in, messaged rather.

29:02Clair Buckley:Sophie. Tiny microphone tossers. Who have you, mate? Hi, James and Claire.

29:11Clair Buckley:Sophie says, hi, James and Claire. Good, well done. What's your name? Quick moan for you.

29:17James Buckley:Quick one.

29:18Clair Buckley:That'll be on a T-shirt soon. These TikTok people, in fact, we could do a T-shirt that says quick moan for you at the front. And then a huge, big, tiny writing. And then at the back, like a big, long story. Yeah, yeah. And people could type in their own stories and make it bespoke for them.

29:36James Buckley:Write that down.

29:38Clair Buckley:Wasn't paying attention.

29:39James Buckley:She's looking at my WikiFeet rating. She has as well. Guys, I'm only on 5.95? 5.96? No, 4. 4.59. Come on, get back up to five stars.

29:52Clair Buckley:You can't. You won't get back to five stars.

29:54James Buckley:I will.

29:55Clair Buckley:If you're going to review anything, review this podcast with five stars, please. Quick moment for you. These TikTok people lurking around town with their tiny microphones. Yeah, they're little.

30:04James Buckley:Yeah, yeah.

30:05Clair Buckley:And I see them on red carpets and stuff.

30:07James Buckley:Yeah, but that's fine. You're expecting to be interviewed there. No, no. With the tiny microphones. Yeah, they're annoying. but they go up to members of the public and I've watched these videos

30:17Clair Buckley:I'm terrified of that

30:18James Buckley:now listen I don't know what Sophie says I might shit all over her email here but it's a fear of mine people come up to you and they go what's the capital of New Zealand and then I would literally be like they just make you look like a tit on the internet

30:36Clair Buckley:it's happened to me, I've never told you about this

30:39James Buckley:don't they have to get consent to put you on

30:41Clair Buckley:no, I don't think so Well, they didn't with me.

30:44James Buckley:You can't say that because then they'll post you for being a knob. You don't have consent. Excuse me. Then you become that guy. You're better just to look like an idiot, ain't you?

30:54Clair Buckley:Yeah, but it's happened to me. And also you want to... Because you are then in a position where I feel you're well within your rights to go, fuck off, mate.

31:06James Buckley:Yeah, 100%.

31:07Clair Buckley:But then it's like, oh, he's a miserable... Exactly, yeah. And I've never told you about this because it's the sentence, I think she was a porn person.

31:16James Buckley:A porn person?

31:17Clair Buckley:Yeah, well I don't know what the PC word is.

31:19James Buckley:Well you don't want to say star in case she's not that good. I've never heard of her, so she's definitely not a porn star.

31:29Clair Buckley:Just as I was coming out of the theatre, this was a couple of years ago when I was coming out of the theatre, I was mortified and she just came up to me with a microphone and someone else was filming with a phone and went, if you finger me, can I shit down your arm? Which is a thing from the in-betweeners. And I just went, I just looked terrified. I looked around at other people trying to get away.

31:55James Buckley:So you didn't say anything?

31:56Clair Buckley:I can't remember what I said. I just went, oh, I don't think I ever said anything. But you need to have something sort of like, you need to have something where I don't really want to be a part of this, but I'm not going to seem like a stick in the mud. because then you get called out for being miserable. And honestly, Claire, it terrified me. Like I felt hair coming out of my head.

32:16James Buckley:Why didn't you tell me?

32:18Clair Buckley:Because the sentence a porn person came up to me today. I don't know if that's something you want to tell your wife.

32:23James Buckley:Yeah. And she said, if you finger me.

32:27Clair Buckley:Can I shit down your arm?

32:28James Buckley:Oh, I'd have been furious.

32:29Clair Buckley:But I was like, I was genuinely like, because I know I'm Jay from the Inbetweeners and stuff. But I do get a bit flustered at some points with some things. and I thought that was a bit much for me personally. Yeah, I'm a bit raging, I'm not going to lie. It made me feel a bit awkward and a bit stupid. Yeah, I'm furious.

32:46James Buckley:I'm furious. Did you get her name?

32:48Clair Buckley:No idea.

32:49James Buckley:What did she look like?

32:50Clair Buckley:Couldn't remember, couldn't tell you. She might not have been a porn person, I don't know. Oh! I just got that.

32:57James Buckley:I just got that vibe. Right, so she probably wasn't. You can't say that.

33:02Clair Buckley:I don't know, but I got that vibe.

33:03James Buckley:Like, no one hearsay.

33:05Clair Buckley:No, but it was just, you know what they're like? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They ambush people and try and get people to get views.

33:13James Buckley:Yeah, stuff like that. Yeah, yeah.

33:15Clair Buckley:I think that's what the situation was.

33:17James Buckley:Oh, I wish I'd been there, son. But I looked terrified.

33:20Clair Buckley:I looked absolutely terrified.

33:22James Buckley:Oh, well, don't you worry about it. Don't you worry about it. I didn't like it.

33:25Clair Buckley:I wish I'd have had something funny to have...

33:30James Buckley:Aye, I know. But what are you about to do when somebody comes up to the street and says that?

33:33Clair Buckley:I genuinely... Like, and I'm rarely...

33:36James Buckley:Flustered.

33:36Clair Buckley:Like, flustered or feel like, oh, that was a bit rude or anything like that.

33:40James Buckley:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's probably the fact...

33:42Clair Buckley:I'd come up for a laugh, but that was like, I'd just been working. I'd just come off... And I was already like, you know, I was like, when I was doing that play, I was fucking shitting myself the whole time I was doing it anyway. I was already quite stressed and anxious.

33:52James Buckley:Yeah. Was it just the last time or the time before?

33:55Clair Buckley:I think it was the last time. The last time. It was when I did it with Dooley, yeah. Yeah. Because I think she went up to... So the dog had probably just died. I think she went up to her. yeah yeah I was going for all that I think she'd went up to her as well because me and Stacey were like fucking hell that was a bit much wasn't it

34:08James Buckley:right right yeah but also it's got like for you that's a difficult situation to be because obviously she's she's obviously trying to be funny and she's joking but what do you say to a woman in the street who says something like that you know then it's like if you try and be funny it could be inappropriate

34:26Clair Buckley:yeah it could be inappropriate if I just pushed her away or something and I'd punch her in the face. Yeah, no, that... And I'd be the bad guy.

34:34James Buckley:You would be, yeah. That's why I should have been there, mate. I'd say, excuse me, what did you say to my husband?

34:39Clair Buckley:But, yeah. Here we go.

34:42James Buckley:If he's shitting in his arm, it's me, all right?

34:44Clair Buckley:Back to... And I'd have to throw my arm away after that.

34:50Clair Buckley:Yeah, no, Sophie says, these TikTok people lurking around town with their tiny microphones. Yeah, I mean, this ambush...

34:57James Buckley:Absolutely.

34:57Clair Buckley:This sort of journalist ambush thing that TikTok is doing now.

35:00James Buckley:Godless fucking hell, don't call them that.

35:02Clair Buckley:No, but that's what it used to be. It used to be like box pops.

35:05James Buckley:Aye, but you would have to get permission. You'd have to sign a little thing. Now everybody's just on somebody's fucking TikTok, whether they like it or not.

35:12Clair Buckley:Yeah, this is the thing, man.

35:14James Buckley:Even when I, listen, I don't have the biggest...

35:16Clair Buckley:Because everyone's a broadcaster nowadays and I think we should all have to...

35:21James Buckley:Be held accountable.

35:22Clair Buckley:Be held accountable in some certain standards. You can't just fucking... Because there's so many things that come up in mind that look like they're a news channel or something.

35:29James Buckley:Yeah, yeah.

35:30Clair Buckley:And it's completely made up. It's just some guy in his living room, yeah. It's completely made up.

35:34James Buckley:But the thing is, right, so I don't have a huge Instagram following, but I've got quite a decent...

35:39Clair Buckley:WikiFeet following.

35:40James Buckley:No, it's nothing compared to that. But I've got quite a lot of people who follow me on Instagram, right? So even if I... I posted a story not that long ago where we went out for dinner with friends and there was people in the background. Right. Because I took a picture, it was Cam at his birthday, and he had a little candle and we were taking the piss out of him. But there was people in the background. so I put little emojis over them.

36:02Clair Buckley:Oh, okay.

36:02James Buckley:Because it's like, they don't want to be posted to 200 ,000 people. They're just out for a meal. But nobody seems to have that respect. It's like, well, you're on the street so I can do whatever I want.

36:15Clair Buckley:And you can. You can do whatever you want. No, I don't want to be posted. You can't film it and broadcast it.

36:20James Buckley:They do.

36:21Clair Buckley:That's the thing. If you do anything, if you broadcast anything, you have to have signed permission to be able to...

36:27James Buckley:It's my worst nightmare when somebody comes up, if, it's never happened to me, if somebody came up with a tiny microphone and started asking me like maths questions, I would shit myself.

36:37Clair Buckley:I'd like history.

36:38James Buckley:Oh, I couldn't do that.

36:39Clair Buckley:I'd actually lean into that one.

36:41James Buckley:I couldn't do it. And then there's ones where they're like, name five countries beginning with F. And when I watch them, I like try and do it to see if I could like prepare myself in case it happens to me. France, Finland. Like, I would crumble under pressure.

37:01Clair Buckley:Anyway, got to get back to Sophie's thing. They are now officially worse than the clipboard brigade outside train stations and that's saying something. I was walking around town at the weekend minding my own business when I spotted a whole pack of them up ahead. Little content goblins. Nice. Lying in wait. Itching to jump out and hit me with a can I ask you a question? or some half-finished song lyric I'm apparently meant to belt the rest of. absolutely not I ended up hugging the wall as I went past just so I didn't end up in someone's random viral video why are they everywhere why is this now a thing honestly I'd rather someone try to sign me up to a monthly direct debit for dolphins

37:41James Buckley:well you should do that

37:43Clair Buckley:how do we stop these people love the pod Sophie

37:45James Buckley:okay well I feel like this is encroaching into Buckley wait what do we call it President Buckley what do we call that Buckley's Law

37:54Clair Buckley:Buckley's Law yeah Buckley's Law It is encroaching on Buckley's Law. Sophie, you have got a really good point. My whole thing comes down to this. Sometimes you do just need to be on the wrong end of an arse kicking. And I've said this loads and loads of times. I've been filled in a couple of times in my life when I was a young man and it has made me behave properly when I'm out in public. And don't take liberties and don't take the piss out of people because you might get filled in.

38:19James Buckley:Because one day you'll try it with the wrong person. Absolutely.

38:22Clair Buckley:Now these people, the little microphones making you sing and asking you if they can shit down your arm and all that sort of stuff.

38:29James Buckley:If you're up for it, that's fine.

38:31Clair Buckley:No, but how do they know?

38:32James Buckley:Well, that's what I'm saying. Exactly. So I would go on the reaction, right? Because some of those videos are funny and you get great people in the street and some of them are a laugh and I've seen them. What I don't like is they also post the people who weren't interested and then it's like, oh, met a Karen in the street today. Well, that's it. That's what you don't do.

38:51Clair Buckley:So after the experience, you then sign a thing saying that you can use it.

38:55James Buckley:Exactly, yeah.

38:56Clair Buckley:But anyway, Sophie, you've really...

38:58James Buckley:You've got us there.

39:00Clair Buckley:You've triggered us.

39:01James Buckley:You have, yeah. We're triggered, look at us.

39:03Clair Buckley:You've triggered us, Sophie, and we do agree, and once we are in power, we will get to the bottom of it.

39:09James Buckley:Saw that up.

39:10Clair Buckley:I've also got a message here from Pete.

39:11James Buckley:We'll write them all up and beat them to death with our tiny microphones.

39:15Clair Buckley:Pete. Hang on a minute.

39:18James Buckley:We've got some silence there.

39:19Clair Buckley:No, sorry, I'm reading Pete's message ahead of time just to see what it is, and the subject is say no to Bisto.

39:26James Buckley:Oh no, I love Bisto. Yeah. What's he talking about?

39:29Clair Buckley:Oh, by the way, sorry, Claire, the theme of this week's episode is Tiny Mics and Bisto. Right. Route one. Well done, guys.

39:36James Buckley:Although you don't like Bisto. Oh no, it was Oxo that got you, wasn't it?

39:40Clair Buckley:It was Bisto and Oxo. Was it? What, that got me in trouble? Yeah. Yeah. Hi Buckleys, my wife grew up just outside of London and I'm from the US. We live here in the States but travel to the UK often. Now there's one thing I've never understood about British roast dinners. Bisto. I understand what it is, but God damn, son. Why does it seem to be coveted over the natural drippings from the roast itself over there? Yeah, he's got a point. Now, the Bisto, before you jump in, Claire's gravy is incredible. Clip that. Claire's gravy is incredible, and Bisto is included in the gravy, or an OXO cube is included in the gravy.

40:23James Buckley:Or what I've been using actually more recently is Knorr.

40:27Clair Buckley:Oh, those little jelly pouch things. Right. But that's just to enhance the gravy. It's your starter. You do like to use, you have a bit of flour, you do roast all those veggies down.

40:37James Buckley:That's for a big word.

40:38Clair Buckley:No, but I'm just saying, this is what he's talking. Also in America, they've got that bullion stuff.

40:43James Buckley:Bullion.

40:44Clair Buckley:Fuck me.

40:45James Buckley:Yeah. But Bisto and OXO and Knorr's cubes and stuff, like you say you still put that in it's still an enhancement it's a beef stock a chicken stock

40:57Clair Buckley:that's just the gravy a lot of people it's just watered down and that's the gravy no that's insane a lot of people do do that

41:02James Buckley:I wouldn't even do that on a Tuesday night with just a wee steak pie you've got to add in it

41:07Clair Buckley:a lot of people just water down boil some water put some bistro in it and that's the gravy

41:13James Buckley:oh good lord that must taste like absolute arse yeah

41:16Clair Buckley:I'll tell you what

41:17James Buckley:I'll tell you the I thought Pete was

41:20Clair Buckley:had a problem with gravy but I think he's got a problem with a lot of the way that UK people make that gravy.

41:31James Buckley:And I have seen them doing that in the jug and then they just pour it. Oh no. I'll tell you the base of a great gravy. Start with whatever base you want. Your stock, your chicken, your ham, your vegetable, your beef, whatever you want. A bit of water. The first thing you need to do, tomato ketchup in brown sauce, a bit of lean and perrin, salt and pepper, tiny bit of orange juice, maybe a little bit of whiskey or beer or something that will make it. And then you go for there and you keep tasting it.

41:58Clair Buckley:Pete says...

41:59James Buckley:Just a quick gravy recipe for you there, but I'm very passionate about gravy.

42:04Clair Buckley:Pete says, I mean, sure, there are plenty of people here in America that buy similar items, packeted gravy powder, but everywhere in Britain, bistow appears to be ingrained within the culture. Well, bistow, ah, bistow, that is a big thing. But I would say, Pete, and I assume we're going to have a lot of comments on this. A lot of people straight away saying no, I don't make my...

42:28James Buckley:Just best doing what?

42:29Clair Buckley:A lot of people do. That is grim. Pete, it's your wife's family.

42:33James Buckley:That is... Aye.

42:35Clair Buckley:There is also just as many people that don't.

42:37James Buckley:Aye.

42:38Clair Buckley:That do like to make their gravy properly. Like I say, you will hear them in the comments because they'll be offended. Because like you, your back got up straight away when I started talking about British gravy

42:50James Buckley:I love gravy listen if you married into a Bisto and Water family there's nothing on the day for you you're going to have to deal with it

42:56Clair Buckley:you're going to have to get rid

42:57James Buckley:you're going to have to deal with it or get rid okay fine

42:59Clair Buckley:Bisto appears to be ingrained within the culture it feels like it's up there with only fours and horses tea and biscuits Cilla Black and Mr Blobby now I know you both have previously stated that you feel a Sunday roast is overrated I do and I super fucking agree with this by the way but where do you stand on Bisto especially? Bisto's important.

43:18James Buckley:It's your starter.

43:19Clair Buckley:Bisto's important to the gravy system.

43:22James Buckley:And also I'll tell you when I get a steak pie for the butchers a proper steak pie and the gravy's already in it I'll do a wee jug of Bisto and water and I'll add it in. You don't need too much in that but you can't just serve Bisto and water that's absolutely horrendous.

43:37Clair Buckley:I've got a little PS from Pete here would love to get your opinion on salad cream as well. Oh I love salad cream. Sweet baby Jesus what is that stuff never had it before in my life

43:45James Buckley:oh I love salad cream

43:46Clair Buckley:it smells a bit weird and it's trying to disguise itself as mayonnaise

43:50James Buckley:no it's not it's so much better than mayonnaise oh I tell you see a plate of chips and cheese has it got like

43:55Clair Buckley:vinaigrette in it it's a bit more tangy right

43:58James Buckley:a plate of chips and cheese with salad cream on it oh a boiled egg covered in salad cream oh

44:04Clair Buckley:you're getting lots of shaking heads here

44:06James Buckley:a cheese toast dip it in salad cream oh you're off you're flying am I scummy Yeah.

44:14Clair Buckley:No. Am I scum? No, you're not scum. You're scummy. Right.

44:18James Buckley:Okay.

44:19Clair Buckley:See, I'm with Pete because I'm very Americanised with my food. You are. You are. I just think they do food well. You are. I'm not like up their arse because I always do say.

44:32James Buckley:No, you just love their food.

44:33Clair Buckley:I always say they can't do chocolate or crisps.

44:36James Buckley:You love their dinners. But fuck me.

44:39Clair Buckley:Jesus Christ. Anything they do is great.

44:42James Buckley:See I think I prefer British food And people take the piss out of British food Don't they? Especially the Americans

44:48Clair Buckley:If we could get And this is going to sound weird If we could get British Indian

44:55James Buckley:Yeah I know But the British Indian cuisine Is like its own thing

45:00Clair Buckley:It's a sort of UK Asized version of Indian food If we could get that in America

45:06James Buckley:You'd be happy, you'd move I'd move Right.

45:10Clair Buckley:I'd move. You'd move. Because I don't need the chocolate. Crisps are all right. I like the ruffles and stuff, to be honest. Yeah, the crisps are fine. Yeah, the crisps are fine. It's the chocolate. They really do chocolate really badly. Even the sweeties are shamed. Yeah, they are. They're rubbish. They kind of do. Jailies, sweeties. They don't use sugar. They don't use sugar. They use corn syrup. Oh, God. But they do just do food properly.

45:32James Buckley:Yeah.

45:33Clair Buckley:So, Pete, I mean, what do you want, mate? That's it. You married someone from the UK. You're from America.

45:40James Buckley:I mean...

45:41Clair Buckley:You were onto a good thing. You had barbecue and burgers and, like, even Chinese in America. Even, oh, God, Korean barbecue in America.

45:52James Buckley:Okay, relax.

45:53Clair Buckley:Jesus. Look at you. You go to one of those Korean barbecue restaurants. Pizza.

45:58James Buckley:Pizza. A bit of a New York slice. Oh, fucking hell. So good.

46:02Clair Buckley:Hot wings.

46:03James Buckley:Yeah. Atomic wings.

46:05Clair Buckley:Chick-fil-A.

46:06James Buckley:I don't like Chick-fil-A. I fucking love it. Here's some weird British habits that we don't question.

46:13Clair Buckley:Weird English foods, foods that you only realise are mental when someone points them at.

46:20James Buckley:Americans don't understand baked beans.

46:23Clair Buckley:Oh, they invented the baked bean. I'm sure America originated in... It's the Cowboys, right? Yeah, I'm sure baked beans originated in America. They don't get it, though.

46:31James Buckley:When they were doing the railroads and stuff. When we put them on toast and baked tarties and stuff, they don't get it. But we've got... Barbecue beans? It's American. Yeah, but we don't do barbecue. They're tomato.

46:44Clair Buckley:I reckon if you went to Texas or St. Louis or Missouri and places like that, they'd tell you all about barbecue beans, mate. So we've got the Jelly Deals, which are absolutely...

46:58James Buckley:I mean, that's an English thing.

46:59Clair Buckley:That's more of a Cockney thing specifically as well.

47:02James Buckley:Oh, good Lord. Toad in the Hall.

47:04Clair Buckley:That's funny. That's just a sausage with a big Yorkshire pudding around it, isn't it? Yeah, brilliant.

47:11James Buckley:Lovely. Black Puddin.

47:13Clair Buckley:I love Black Puddin so much.

47:15James Buckley:You love Black Puddin.

47:16Clair Buckley:I like White Puddin as well.

47:17James Buckley:No, I don't like White Puddin.

47:19Clair Buckley:Ebony and Ivory.

47:22James Buckley:No, I just like...

47:23Clair Buckley:Maybe there's a song about racial harmony we could do with Black Puddin and White Puddin.

47:27James Buckley:I don't like White Puddin. I like Black Puddin. It's quite similar to, I guess, Black Puddin. Yeah. It's caned.

47:33Clair Buckley:I feel like haggis is like really good black pudding.

47:37James Buckley:Haggis is something else, mate, I tell you. I know people feel like I've probably got to say it. It's a bit lumpy.

47:42Clair Buckley:There's a bit more into it.

47:43James Buckley:It's not lumpy. Well, it's just a bit thicker. Crumbly.

47:45Clair Buckley:Yeah, crumbly.

47:46James Buckley:Oh, I love it. I love it. Pigs in blankets. They don't get that.

47:50Clair Buckley:Pigs in blankets.

47:51James Buckley:Spotted dick.

47:52Clair Buckley:That's a dessert, isn't it? Yeah. It's got raisins in it, I think.

47:57James Buckley:It's not for me. No. It's not for me. but the Americans have also got some crazy stuff

48:03Clair Buckley:yeah

48:03James Buckley:yes pumpkin everything

48:05Clair Buckley:yeah pumpkin pie

48:07James Buckley:pumpkin pie pumpkin latte pumpkin fucking all that shit biscuits and gravy

48:14Clair Buckley:well nice

48:15James Buckley:which is like scones isn't it yeah yeah with like

48:19Clair Buckley:usually like with a white gravy you get that in Popeye's with a white sauce yeah oh mate

48:25James Buckley:marshmallows on sweet potatoes yeah don't they call them yams Yams. Isn't that yams? Oh, is that what that is? I think that's what that is at Thanksgiving. I'm sure. I don't know. Cheese whiz. Yeah. The can.

48:39Clair Buckley:Spray cheese, yeah.

48:40James Buckley:Ranch on everything. Now, I will say the ranch. We've been to America quite a few times. The ranch in America.

48:46Clair Buckley:I think we're just starting to get ranch here.

48:50James Buckley:And it's nearly as good. I don't know. Wingstop does ranch. It's not as good as the American ones.

48:54Clair Buckley:I think Popeye's does ranch.

48:57James Buckley:Grits.

48:58Clair Buckley:That's your sort of little potato. You make grits and you don't even know it.

49:02James Buckley:Is that what that is? My dirt cubes?

49:04Clair Buckley:Yeah, I think that's what grits is. Yeah, I might be completely wrong about that.

49:07James Buckley:I think you are.

49:08Clair Buckley:Chicken and waffles. Yeah, I don't mind that. I love going to IHOP.

49:13James Buckley:See, I don't like sweet and savoury together.

49:16Clair Buckley:A little bit of bacon on your pancake. Oh, no, not for me. With maple syrup. It all works. It all just works. The salt, the sweet.

49:23James Buckley:I don't like that. I don't like sweet and savoury mixed.

49:26Clair Buckley:Oh, yeah, that's right. Grits is a type of porridge made from coarsely ground dried corn. Yeah, that's right.

49:33James Buckley:Oh, no. Not for me.

49:34Clair Buckley:No, it is good.

49:35James Buckley:Oh, no. I'll take a roast.

49:36Clair Buckley:It's like a creamy.

49:37James Buckley:I'll take a roast tarty dipped in Bisto any day.

49:39Clair Buckley:It's like a sort of more, not that porridge is not savoury, but it's like a more savoury version of porridge.

49:48James Buckley:Do you know what? I do love rice pudding.

49:49Clair Buckley:I hate rice pudding.

49:50James Buckley:I fucking love rice pudding. Rice pudding hour custard any day.

49:53Clair Buckley:I've got a bit of a rice pudding phobia. Why? Ever since I was a kid, it just looked like sick. And I couldn't, like, sometimes...

50:01James Buckley:It tastes lovely. It's so sweet and milky.

50:03Clair Buckley:What's the pots? Is it ambrosia?

50:05James Buckley:Yeah, I love them.

50:07Clair Buckley:My mates would turn up to school. Okay, relax. And I'd watch him eating it. I'd be like, you look like you're eating vomit. It's really gross.

50:15James Buckley:Can we move on?

50:15Clair Buckley:Yeah, let's move on. Let's swipe on that note. Let's have a little quick swipe.

50:20James Buckley:All right, Claire. Yes, James.

50:22Clair Buckley:I don't know about you, but I can feel some petty revenge coming on.

50:27James Buckley:Petty revenge. Petty revenge.

50:29Clair Buckley:Petty revenge. Petty revenge. Ooh, what a lovely little feeling. Let's hear what the listeners are scheming. Nice.

50:39James Buckley:So boosh, isn't it? So boosh.

50:41Clair Buckley:So boosh. We've had some petty revenge stories come in, but first a reminder to keep yours coming in by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us at thebuckleyspod on Instagram and TikTok. We've got Dan here. Danny. Dan says, love your podcast. Just a quick petty revenge for you.

50:57James Buckley:Why is it just a quick one?

50:59Clair Buckley:Because they're always the best ones. Earlier this year, one of my friends, one of my friends, in quotation marks, accidentally, in quotation marks, Edith, if you're watching, that's how you use that, ran over my foot with his car. What have you said about this? You haven't even told your mum about this, have you? Claire's mum will text. It annoys Claire so much, but she's never told her told your mum about it and she'll hear this Claire's mum will text her and it'll be like oh I don't know but it will be here tomorrow she cannot use quotation marks she doesn't understand quotation marks at all

51:38James Buckley:she cannot do it I'm just going to ASDA

51:41Clair Buckley:yeah and then I'm like

51:43James Buckley:where the fuck are you going quotation marks on she doesn't know how to use it anyway anyway

51:49Clair Buckley:one of my friends accidentally ran over my foot with his car and broke multiple bones. It took me 16 weeks to recover and to be able to walk again. In those 16 weeks, I haven't heard from him. No apologies or anything. So as revenge, I have been writing his phone number in bathroom stalls with send me a picture of your poo and I'll rate it under it. He has been sent multiple images. Not sure if he sent back any ratings though. Thanks, guys. Dan.

52:19James Buckley:That's a good one. Oh, that's grim.

52:22Clair Buckley:That is a good one.

52:23James Buckley:Oh, that's grim. You have got to wonder what the hell is happening if you start getting shit pics.

52:29Clair Buckley:Well, it might be. Maybe this has got something to do with my mate's foot that I drove my car over.

52:36James Buckley:You won't put that over. And by the way, I'm more interested in that story. Why is he in quotation marks your friend and accidentally... This is what he's saying. He's meant to be my mate. No, something's kicked off.

52:47Clair Buckley:Oh, yeah. Well, Dan, give us more context, please.

52:50James Buckley:What happened? How was he in the car and you were outside the car close enough for him to run over and he didn't check up on you? Oh, something's going on.

53:01Clair Buckley:I think Dan and his friend had an argument. He got a bit heated.

53:07James Buckley:I think Dan might be the bad guy here.

53:08Clair Buckley:I think Dan might have been chasing after this bloke while he was in the car.

53:11James Buckley:Listen, you don't get your foot run over for no reason.

53:13Clair Buckley:Because honestly, that does sound like the mob when they say an associate of ours. Yeah, yeah. You know, he's no longer with us. Yeah, yeah. He's gone away. He's away. It's no good. It's like when De Niro calls up to see if Joe Pesci's been made.

53:31James Buckley:That's right.

53:33Clair Buckley:No, it was no good. What does he say?

53:35James Buckley:Oh, that was heartbreaking.

53:36Clair Buckley:Oh, there was nothing we could do.

53:38James Buckley:There was nothing we could do.

53:39Clair Buckley:There was nothing we could do. What are you talking about? Well, you know, there was just... In the phone box. There was nothing we could do.

53:45James Buckley:Oh. What was Joe Pesci called in that film?

53:50Clair Buckley:I would have been able to tell you. My brain's just... I know, I know.

53:53James Buckley:Jimmy Conway. What's Pesci called? God damn. Tommy. Tommy.

53:59Clair Buckley:Right.

54:00James Buckley:Tommy. Oh, bless him.

54:02Clair Buckley:We've got another one here from Vicky. It's about an ex.

54:06James Buckley:Sticky Vicky. Who's Sticky Vicky?

54:09Clair Buckley:Is she the person from Ibiza? Yeah.

54:12James Buckley:What is she? Is it ping pong balls at her vagina or something?

54:15Clair Buckley:No.

54:16James Buckley:No? Oh, lots of stuff. Am I on the right lines?

54:19Clair Buckley:I think she retired How do you know as well? I think she retired and her granddaughter took over Oh lovely She's up there with Fernando

54:29James Buckley:Who's that?

54:30Clair Buckley:Fernando's the guy that can suck his own knob and he was featured in the Inbetweeners film

54:34James Buckley:I was there I was there that day

54:38Clair Buckley:Yeah

54:38James Buckley:In the club

54:39Clair Buckley:Yeah

54:40James Buckley:I was there yeah

54:41Clair Buckley:That was a weird day for me That was really odd I remember me and Blake just staring into that bloke's arsehole Wait you saw

54:48James Buckley:But he actually did it on the film.

54:50Clair Buckley:Well, he did it. It was his party trick. I don't think it was featured graphically in the film. But what he did do was stand in front of me and Blake. So we're like sort of cock. He's on the stage and me and Blake make our way to the front of the stage. He turns around and bends over. And his arsehole was just in our faces. And me and Blake did take a moment.

55:14James Buckley:How can you tell he's sucking his own knob if he turns run?

55:17Clair Buckley:Whoa. I don't know, Claire. Jesus Christ.

55:20James Buckley:I'm just saying if I paid to see something, I'd want to see it.

55:22Clair Buckley:No, but we hadn't paid to see it. And me and Blake were stood there questioning the decisions that we've made in our life, basically. Going, is this it? Is this how we make money? I mean, I know they've offered us a lot of money to do this film, but there is a thing called dignity as well. Isn't that right, Guy the Flyer? Anyway, Vicky says, my ex came home steaming after a night out with the lads and decided to wake me up at 3am. I was not impressed.

55:48James Buckley:Oh, he loves us. He loves us.

55:51Clair Buckley:Sorry for the listeners. Guy the fly has just landed on my hand. I mean, that's how you get the black plague. So in the morning, I gave him a little surprise of my own. I poured water into the bottom of his trainers, pot them in the freezer overnight and then took them out just before he woke up. So they looked totally normal. He went to put them on for work and the ice at the bottom made him shoot backwards like Bambi on a laminate floor. That's the saying, isn't it? That's what we think about when we think of Bambi. Petty, yes, worth it, definitely. That's a good one.

56:28James Buckley:I don't get how that worked. How would he fall off his end shoes?

56:31Clair Buckley:No, he shot backwards. He put his foot in the... You know, like Bambi on ice. Thanks for that, Vicky. Listen, let's call it a day, Claire. I've run out of steam. You have as well. Guy the Fly. He's here. He's here with us. That's it for this week's episode of The Buckleys. Thank you very much for listening. Remember, you can get in touch with your stories and questions for us by emailing thebuckleys at platformmedia.uk or you can message us on our socials at The Buckleys Pod on Instagram and TikTok. And don't forget, if you did enjoy the show, why not go ahead and leave us a little five-star review because it does help us out a lot.

57:05Clair Buckley:All that is left is for Claire to say...

57:06James Buckley:See you next Thursday.

57:08Clair Buckley:Go on Achieftons! That's the podcast.

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